Story: Of Tears And Broken Hearts (all chapters)

Authors: keilanch

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Chapter 1

Title: Introduction

[Author's notes:

Disclaimers: This story is an original fiction and not based on any movie, TV show, or book (except for some inspiration maybe). Any similarity of the characters to real life – although I seriously doubt it – is not intended and most likely pure coincidence.

Author’s Notes: I just feel like reiterating, once more, that this story has lesbian content and will most definitely feature girl-on-girl action. But you already know that, right? Another thing is that I actually enjoy reading and writing angst so buckle up and get ready for the angst ride. However, I assure you that everything will be paid off in the end and no matter what happens, please remember that my aim is to have all of us satisfied. Coz what’s a writer without a reader, eh? Plus, there will also be happy snuggly wuggly scenes too and not just all angst. I am as much a fuzzy wuzzy as anyone out there.

Author’s Notes 2: I want a cookie… Can I have a cookie, please? *Puppy Dog Eyes*



Leila Charles-Carlson had been brought up in a world of glamour and fancy everything – from cars to condos to parties. Well, how can she not be when she’s the only daughter of one of the most successful business couples and heiress to one of the largest business empires in the world?

However, such good fate always came with a price – something Lei found out early in her life. Along with the comfort, luxury, and eventual fame, Lei was also aware of the betrayal and hypocrisy. She knew that most people only saw the money she possessed and the power her family had. She was aware of the superficial smiles and conspiratorial greetings – mere vain attempts at catching her attention and getting close to the “princess”.

But Lei didn’t care. No matter how much she smiled back and laughed with all the hypocrites, she knew that they will never get through to her. They will never know who she really was.

Especially now – after that happened.

She had trusted and she was betrayed. She had let the barriers fall, yet what did she get in return? Hurt. Pain.

She wanted to get away. She just had to get away.

Finally, after ten years, she was going back to her innocence.


Kristen Sanders is an average student at Wright-Duncan High – or so she would like to think. A promising straight A student, she’s friends with everyone and manages to help out those in need of her assistance, which makes her pretty popular in the student body and faculty – a fact that undeniably helped make her a part of the student government.

Life was good. For Kristen, everything was the way it should be. She did well in her classes. She was personally and politically involved in school activities. She was satisfied and with the coming of her senior year in high school, Kristen had nothing else to ask for.

Or about. If there was one person truly sure of where she was in her life and where she wanted to go, it would be Kristen.

Until she came.

Suddenly, nothing was like it was before. Her perfectly normal life just made the 180-degree turn and for the first time, Kristen felt really confused. Confused and scared even.

More so when she finally realized that everything dated back to that fateful day of tears and an innocent question unanswered.


Once upon a time, there were two little girls who cared for each other. They played games, chased each other around the rich green fields, and talked of their dreams under the guidance of a huge oak tree. They were very, very happy.

But the happiness was short-lived. Soon enough, they were forced apart by circumstances neither of them could control…

And life moved on – for both of them.

Ten years and a lot of reticent memories after, their winding roads are finally coming to that familiar intersection once more. Again, fate had chosen to weave the threads of their lives together.

However, nothing is a fairy tale. And no one can say whether they are headed for a happy ending…

…or one of tears and broken hearts.


Coming Soon on Of Tears And Broken Hearts

When are you leaving?”

Tomorrow. Daddy said we have to go in the morning.”

But…why didn’t you tell me? I thought we’re friends…”


Lei laughed silently to herself. They make me but even they can’t seem to agree with what they’d want me to be.


“Don’t try that innocent act on me Kristen, ‘coz I’m not buying it one tiny bit!”


“They say she’s awesome in bed…”

“Diane!” Kristen wasn’t used to these kinds of conversations and she felt the blood rushing to her face.

Chapter 2

Title: Chapter One - The Truth Behind Maybe

[Author's notes:

Official First chapter up. You know the drill! READ AND REVIEW! (I really want a cookie...)

(new note)BTW, I have no idea how this chapter just disappeared so I reposted it... thanks to the anonymous reviewer Britt for pointing this one out. :)


Chapter OneThe Truth Behind Maybe


When are you leaving?”

Tomorrow. Daddy said we have to go in the morning.”

But…why didn’t you tell me? I thought we’re friends…”

Daddy just told me today! I also didn’t know. When he told me, I was angry and I cried because I don’t want to go,” the dark-haired girl about 8 years of age burst out, as she flung herself to her friend in a tight embrace. “Kristen… I really don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave you here ‘coz you’re my bestest best friend ever!”

The blonde girl in pigtails hugged her friend back as if she held on to her dear life. Soon enough, the two young girls were both crying their hearts out as they stayed in each other’s arms.

Are you coming back here? Even just to visit?” Kristen asked in between sobs as soon as the tears started subsiding.

The dark-haired girl looked at the tear-streaked face of her friend and timidly shrugged.

I don’t know.”

The dark-haired girl watched as her blonde friend looked down and tried to hide her sparkling green eyes. As much as it pained her to leave the only friend she ever truly had, Leila felt the hurt more as she looked at the other girl’s saddened face. They’ve only been friends for three months but it felt like forever. Apparently, it wasn’t.

But I’m going to write to you. I promise Kristen! And when I know where we’re going to live, I’m going to give you my address so you can write to me too…” Leila tried to lighten things up. She didn’t want to leave her friend sad and lonely, but subconsciously, her innocent mind knew it was inevitable.

Are we going to see each other again?” The blonde looked up to the eyes of her friend…

“Maybe…” The brunette gazed up at the perfectly composed sky as she reminisced on the very distant past. She missed the past – a past where everything was so simple and there was no fear of pain or rejection. She missed the innocence that came with being a child, the feeling of being free from the burdens of the world. But everything now was a mess – herself, her family, her world.

My world. When did I start thinking that way? My world and the rest. But indeed it was her world and the rest. She was aware of the truth that she was different and the mere fact that she had lived the rest of her life being brought up that way only served to cement such thinking in her head. She was no average 18-year old girl and the rest of the world would agree without a doubt.

But the rest…they make all the difference. As much as she lived in her own world, she also knew that the rest – the outsiders, the others, the audience in her own private reality show – shaped her being. They made her, created her image even with the not-actually-knowing who she was. They sculpted her persona, Leila Charles-Carlson, the controversial daughter of Arsen Carlson and Laura Charles, one of the biggest and most influential business couples in the whole world.

Lei laughed silently to herself. They make me but even they can’t seem to agree with what they’d want me to be. For the rest, she was a thousand guises – the billionaire’s daughter, the princess, the athlete, the model, the musician, the teen idol, the next big gossip, the rebel, the brat, the spoiled child, the snob, the playgirl.

By now, she didn’t bother suppressing the insanely huge grin that swept through her face. The playgirl. I’m the playgirl now? Once more, she laughed, only louder and more prominent this time. People were such hypocrites.

When all you want is to fit in, they go ahead and use you, play with your emotions. And then you realize they’ve started branding you the playgirl. Oh how I love irony!

But there was no point lamenting on an insignificant past. More so, there was absolutely no point trying to figure out what they would perceive of her tomorrow. And she’d rather not care what they would be like too. She’s had enough of two-faced morons.

“What’s so big about her being in our school anyway?”

“Ohmygod! What are you, insane? Did you fall from bed and bump your head this morning? Kristen, she’s like Lei CC! THE LEI CC!”

Kristen chuckled as she listened to her close friend squeal on the phone, “Diane, this is going way over the top –“

“Going way over the top?!” Diane cut her friend before she heard another insane remark, “Of course it’s going to go way over the top girl! We’re talking billionaire-slash-model-slash-perfect-hottie here, Kristen! I mean, you do know who Lei C-C is right? You’re not some alien taking over my friend’s body. Oh god, get out of my friend’s body this instant… And I did not just say that!”

Kristen laughed aloud as she heard her frantic friend’s babble. “Shut up, dork,” She could definitely imagine Diane pouting on the other line. “And no, I haven’t been abducted by aliens to forget who Leila Charles-Carlson is. I just don’t think it’s a big deal that she’s going to study at our school this year.”

“What are you talking about? What no big deal are you talking about? Cut that crap right now girl and see some sense in what I’m saying. Lei CC is the hottest thing right now, and she’s going to study at our school, our school, you hear? That makes our high school the hottest in this planet!”

“Uh huh…” Kristen still didn’t see where her friend was going with her argument.

“And we’re going to have the best senior year ever! I mean, not that we have that all the time, coz hello! Senior only once! But hey! With Lei in our class, everything is bound to be interesting. And you know what the extra perk is?” Diane sounded like she was bouncing on her feet.

“What?” asked the other girl, indulging her friend.

“When we go to college, we can tell everyone right off that we studied in the same school as the CC heiress. And we know her personally.”

“How sure are you that she’s even going to be friends with us, Diane?”

“Oh, don’t be silly Kristen! Of course she’s going to be friends with us. I mean, c’mon, what’s not to like about us? We’re practically friends with everyone.”

I’m friends with everyone. You’re only friends with those who have subscriptions to teen fashion magazines and are oblivious to the different shades of black.”

With another person, Diane would have found this kind of banter offensive. But she had been friends with Kristen for so long and an insult from her friend would have sounded like a very comical joke.

“Well, I’m friends with those who matter. And what’s with hanging out with those Goths anyway? It’s not like they will ever look good when you’re with them.”

“Don’t say that. I happen to know that they are really nice people and they’re sensible to talk to,” Kristen knew that no matter how much she tried, people like Diane will never really understand the Goth’s side. There will always be stereotypes. At least, I’m trying to break that.

“I mean, it’s okay for us that you’re hanging out with those losers sometimes. But if you were another person and not Kristen, we would have branded you a loser too, you know. But well, we all know you’re too cool to be one. You’re just one hell of a do-gooder.”

Kristen sighed. There was no use tying to change her friend’s thinking. She knew Diane was a good person but her friend can have a one-track mind most of the times.

“Plus, I read Vogue, you know! That is so not teen fashion!” Yup, definitely one-track.

“Okay, okay. Vogue… Got it! But Diane, please try to refrain from mocking the Goths. They’re still my friends, you know.”

“Yeah, right. Whatever,” there was a brief pause until Diane broke the silence. “And what are we doing talking about them anyway? I mean, one minute we’re wrapped up with Ms. Hotness Lei and the next, we’re talking about those friends of yours.” The repulsion found in the statement was undeniably strong and very obvious.

Another sigh escaped from Kristen. It was better if they didn’t dwell on the stereotype issues anymore. High school will always be high school.

“Ms. Hotness Lei?” Kristen figured they’d rather tread on neutral ground, like…Ms. Hotness Lei. Where did that come from?

“Yeah. Leila Charles-Carlson. The epitome of hotness!”

“Oh-kay,” Kristen drew the word out in exaggeration, hoping her friend would realize how way over the edge the whole admiration thing was already going. “Plus, in case you didn’t notice, you’re wrapped up in her, emphasis on the single you.”

“You’re just like that now. I bet you’d go gaga over her too, once you see her tomorrow. And when that happens, I’d be the first one to nudge you and remind you how this is so not a big deal,” Diane replied in sarcasm, mimicking her friend’s earlier argument.

“Well, I still don’t think it is. And anyway, what’s with the squealing? Last time I checked, you were happy flirting with the cute guys at the football field. Total level-headed straightness.”

“Well, I am very open-minded. And plus, bisexuality is like, the biggest trend right now. Homophobes are so yesterday!”

At this, Kristen couldn’t help but laugh aloud. Only someone like Diane would think of sexuality as a fashion trend.

“And think of it this way, Kristen. Wouldn’t it be nice to say that your first time with a girl was actually with the Charles-Carlson heiress? I mean, hello! Major rad points!”


“Don’t try that innocent act on me Kristen, ‘coz I’m not buying it one tiny bit!”


“They say she’s awesome in bed…”

“Diane!” Kristen wasn’t used to these kinds of conversations and she felt the blood rushing to her face. “Where do you even get all those rumors?”

“Secret! I have my sources, you know. Plus, I bet she’s –"


End of Chapter One.

Coming Soon on Of Tears And Broken Hearts

We didn’t want to give you a car, or a diamond bracelet, or anything as superficial. We wanted to give you back your memories. And with that,” He pointed at the papers she held, “you can easily go back to those special times – something, I know you treasure deep in your heart.”

She looked around at all the students – insane, way over the top, students – and scanned the crowd for her friend. What caught her eye wasn’t her friend though, but a huge banner posted at the wall of the nearest school building with a message written in big bold letters:


Chapter 3

Title: Chapter Two - Without A Doubt

[Author's notes: Second chapter is here! READ AND REVIEW! Feed this review whore.

She looked around her. Everything was striking and sparkling, from the beautiful chandelier, to the pyramid of wine glasses displayed on the grand table. It was very obvious that the celebration was made with the most precise details, careful arrangements, meticulous planning…and of course, heaps of money.

It was a gathering of the best among the best for the only the best.

The tell-tale signs that the celebration was for the wealthiest of families were neither, however, the decorations nor the servings. It was the people, the members of the elite, who flaunted their garish gowns and neat tuxedos as they walked around the hall, heads high and proud. Whether they talked in hush whispers or with loud, obnoxious laughter, the aura of class and superiority still oozed off of them in waves.

She hated these kinds of gatherings.

I know how much you hate these kinds of things.”

She looked to her right as her father came to stand next to her, standing on the verandah just outside the hall where all the action seemed to be. She had been looking at the vast horizon faraway on the other end of the ocean for sometime now, lingering on the peace that the calm night sky and the tranquil waves brought her.

No dad. It’s okay.”

I’m sorry, baby girl. This was supposed to be about you.”

No really dad, it’s okay. Thank you.”

I don’t think I really deserve the thanks.”

Dad… I mean it. Any girl would be really happy celebrating her birthday in a beautiful place with all these important guests. Plus, I loved the wine glass pyramid.”

Her father smiled as he gazed at his daughter, still facing the nothingness. “But Leila, you’re not just any girl. You’re our little girl – your mother and I both.”

I know that, dad, and I can’t be any happier,” She looked at her father’s face, now showing the early signs of maturity in his tender, senior age.

As your father, Leila, I also know that you don’t actually enjoy these kinds of parties.”

But –“

He cut her off before she was even able to utter her next word. “And no buts. I know you Lei, and I love you. I also know that as much as you hate all these show of fancy clothes and cars, you understand that these are inevitable parts of our lives. Birthdays or no birthdays.”

His demeanor softened as he smiled with all sincerity. “And because of that, we – your mother and I – are so proud of you.”

Leila fell into his father’s open arms as they embraced each other, basking in the love that only a father can give to his daughter and a daughter to her father.

After a while, Leila disentangled herself from her father’s tight yet gentle embrace and, for the first time, noticed the large brown envelope he held. Her father seemed to notice her curious expression as he handed her the light package that she received, her eyes now filled with undeniable interest. He smiled at her as she slowly opened the envelope and took out a series of papers that she started reading.

We figured you’d like a special extra for your birthday, baby girl.”

Leila’s eyes opened wide as she realized what the papers she held in her hands meant. She couldn’t believe what she was actually seeing and her mind failed to utter a single word of response.

Again, it was her father who spoke.

Remember when you were around 9 and 10? You always bugged your mom and I about going back to this place that you apparently held dear to you. But everything was still very complicated back then that as much as we wanted to grant your wish, we just can’t,” His eyes held the tinge of sadness that Leila knew was also reflected on hers.

But I grew out of it,” Finally, she regained the use of her voice as she stated those simple words.

Yes, you did. But I doubt you ever really forgot. All the memories are still etched inside of you,” He paused, but spoke once more. “We didn’t want to give you a car, or a diamond bracelet, or anything as superficial. We wanted to give you back your memories. And with that,” He pointed at the papers she held, “you can easily go back to those special times – something, I know you treasure deep in your heart.”

I…I don’t know what to say…”

Thank you would be enough.”

She beamed as tears that she didn’t notice forming at the corners of her eyes began to fall down freely. Once more, she enveloped her father in a tight hug that conveyed all the words she didn’t know how to say.

I love you dad. I love you and mom both.”

We know, baby girl. And we love you too.”

And there, under the calm night sky, father and daughter reveled in the peace of everything serene.

Two years after that fateful day, and ten years after the innocence of playing with a beautiful blonde girl, now a long lost friend…finally, she had gone back.


Kristen went to school a little earlier than usual because of two reasons. One, it was finally the first day of her senior year. And two, she had been unable to get back to sleep when Diane called her at five in the morning just to get her ready for “the day the heiress came”. I mean, five in the morning?! What was she thinking?

Apparently, no one had been having thoughts along the line of sanity too.

When Kristen came to the school parking lot that morning to make room for her chrome 2-seater Honda Insight, she knew right away that everything was far from usual. There were students everywhere, talking and chatting with their own groups. At first, it may seem as though they just found out, finally, that the school parking lot was an awesome place to have social affairs with people. However, a closer observation showed that all these students seemed to keenly, if not subtly, take note of the cars that came to the lot that day. It was as if they were all waiting for someone.

Then, it dawned on her. Of course they were waiting for someone. Not just someone but The One. The Leila CC.

Taking the keys with her, Kristen took her bag, swung it on her shoulder, and finally stepped out of her car. She looked around at all the students – insane, way over the top, students – and scanned the crowd for her friend. What caught her eye wasn’t her friend though, but a huge banner posted at the wall of the nearest school building with a message written in big bold letters:


Now if Kristen hadn’t known of the heiress’s decision to attend their school, surely she certainly knew now. The banner, in its grandeur, was of course one hell of a dead give away.

Suddenly, she was yanked out of her thoughts as she felt her arm, along with her whole body, being pulled to the side.

“So, what do you think of the banner?”

Kristen looked at the expectant and somewhat freakishly jubilant look on Diane’s face.

“This is your doing?”

“No, silly! It’s the school’s doing. I just helped organize,” Kristen was kind of disturbed at the overly beaming face of her friend. “So, what do you think?”


“Of course it’s big! I meant about the color and the letters and the message and –“

Diane was cut off as the sight of a sparkling red Jaguar convertible paved its way through the crowded parking lot. At the same time, Kristen swore she saw all heads turn to watch the very same spectacle that her friend was so entranced at.

When the undoubtedly expensive and customized car roared its final breath of life and went silent, Kristen thought she heard gasps in the crowd. When the doors of the car at the driver’s side finally swung open, she knew she heard the gasps. When the driver stepped out, she, herself, gasped at the sight that beheld her.

The driver was a brunette woman with wavy and yet wonderfully done hair that seemed to follow her every move. She wore classy blue sunglasses that matched her faded denim jeans and also blue sneakers. She wore a tight white shirt which clung to her at the right angles and at the same time bore a very revealing and powerful message: I Can’t Even Think Straight! Her bag hung to her shoulder in a simple yet still quite endearing manner.

In all her modesty, this gorgeous woman, oozing with power and sex appeal, was without a doubt, Leila Charles-Carlson.

End of Chapter Two.

Coming Soon on Of Tears and Broken Hearts:

Kristen sniffled. Leila placed her hands once more on the blonde’s back, but now, instead of patting, she was rubbing it.

I’m not going to make you cry.”

Kristen looked up.


Leila’s smile widened and her eyes hinted a glint of amusement. A crush and I haven’t even been here 5 minutes. Oh, this will be fun. “So…”

Chapter 4

Title: Chapter Three - It's All In The Name

[Author's notes: By now, if you’re reading, you might have noticed that I start every chapter with a brief flashback. Well, that’s how it’s going to be until the end of the story. The flashbacks may be from Lei’s past, Kristen’s past, or their past together as little kids. Flashbacks are also set in italics. After the flashback part, all italicized statements serve as thoughts of the person being mentioned in the chapter.]

Chapter Three - It's All In The Name 

It was surprising how her mother had just allowed her to go out and play…on her own, without her nanny Josie. It definitely was something new for her. For the past years of her existence, she had never been allowed to play on her own, even with the tantrums and the crying that she never forgot to add as a convincing factor. It never worked before.

It was surprising that it only took a pout and a little whine to get her mother to comply this time.

Okay, maybe a little sniffling added to the trick. But still. She was an eight-year old girl. Eight-year olds are definitely allowed to sniffle… and pout and whine.

No matter what came to her mother for allowing her this huge freedom, Leila didn’t care anymore. All she knew was, she was here now, playing on her own.

And apparently, she was also approaching an unsurprisingly old tree. What the tree was, she didn’t know. How was she supposed to know the difference between all those ancient trees? Trees were trees. To an innocent young mind, all trees were the same and should be left at that. Besides, she was too happy right now to be bothered by trivial things such as what kind of tree she was seeing at the moment.

Or where those sobs were coming from.

Okay, maybe the sobs did get her attention as she now tried to listen a little more attentively. Well what was a curious little girl to do when she knew someone’s crying maybe just a few feet from her? Snoop around of course.

Which brought her back to the ancient boring tree. As it turned out, she realized the sobs came from behind the tree.

So Leila tiptoed carefully towards the tree, trying carefully not to disturb the crying entity nearby. She approached like a little predator stalking its prey, only this time she was a girl, not a predator, and the other was most definitely… also a girl. A crying, totally helpless, blonde girl. Still a girl though.

Why are you crying?”

The other girl immediately swung her head up to look at where the unexpected voice came from. She had been undoubtedly surprised to find another being standing next to her.

Leila crouched near the crying girl and smiled a little, before patting her back.

I’m Leila,” she said, looking expectantly at the blonde girl who by now had stopped sobbing and just looked at her with an unknown expression.

Wh-where did you c-come f-from?”

From a lot of places. I can’t remember all of them. But I think I’ve been to France and Australia.” Leila smiled even wider, now ceasing the pat on the other girl’s back. “My name’s Leila. What’s your name?”

K-Kristen.” Kristen paused to stop the left-over sobs. “Ummm… so you’ve been to France?”


How was it like there?”

I can’t remember. My mom just told me we’ve been there. I was still a baby.”

Oh. How about Australia?”

Leila saw the girl loosening up and she kept her smile as radiant as possible. “I didn’t see much. I wasn’t allowed to go outside to play.”

A comfortable pause.

So, why are you crying?”

Kristen didn’t want to speak up. She felt embarrassed for being such a crybaby. If her friends found out she’d been crying behind a tree, they would tease her for life.

Leila wasn’t about to give up though.

Did you hurt yourself? I scraped my knee once and the blood started going out. I cried. It hurt really bad.”


Did your dog die?”


Did your cat die?”


Your bird?”

Kristen shook her head.

Huh?” Leila’s eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. “So, you have a pet monkey then? You know...that died.”

The blonde girl giggled at Leila’s outrageous innocence. Leila couldn’t help but giggle along with her.

I don’t have a pet,” Kristen said, after the relaxing giggles.

So why are you crying?”

Ummm…they’re teasing me.”


My friends.”

If they tease you and make you cry, then they’re not good friends.”

They’re good friends. I’m just…” Kristen looked down, “…a crybaby.”

You won’t cry if they didn’t make you cry.”

Kristen sniffled. Leila placed her hands once more on the blonde’s back, but now, instead of patting, she was rubbing it.

I’m not going to make you cry.”

Kristen looked up.

I want to be your friend, Kristen.”


She took off her sunglasses and threw them to the back of her car before closing the door. She was aware of all the eyes drawn towards here. She was used to this – the scrutiny, the ogle. They were all part of her daily life.

For a brief moment, Lei wondered what had come upon her to subject herself to the torture of studying in a high school – an environment – that was leagues different from what she had been used to all her life. Then she remembered, and the pain came flooding back in huge waves.

How could she forget?

All these – the stares, the unwanted attention – was nothing compared to that.

She had to get away. She just had to.

Finally, she looked around and noticed how crowded the parking lot really was. People sure did snoop around a lot in this school.

She conjured her patented Leila-heiress grin and looked around once more. Then she noticed the outrageously gargantuan banner with her and the school’s name on it. The message was something around the likes of welcoming her. She didn’t bother reading the whole thing. She just wanted to get the day over with. Maybe tomorrow, the students would act a little more normally, or maybe just tone down the stares to discrete glances here and there. With a slight wave to the obviously overexcited crowd, she headed for the main building.

I swear there were lots drooling. And a few swooning… from some of the girls of course.

After a few steps though, her plan to get out of the crowd was immediately thwarted by the figure that blocked her way. The figure apparently belonged to a fairly sexy brunette wearing a cami tank and a skimpy – too skimpy for my taste – red skirt, who now sported a huge grin and a faint blush.

Lei kept her smile and looked directly to the other girl’s eyes. This seemed to fuel the other brunette’s blush and her face flushed a little redder.

Time to speak or we’ll be here all day.


The brunette went out of her trance as her eyes widened in realization. “HI!”

Leila’s smile widened and her eyes hinted a glint of amusement. A crush and I haven’t even been here 5 minutes. Oh, this will be fun. “So…”

“So…” the brunette repeated in anticipation.

“So… you’re blocking my way.”

Once again, the other girl’s eyes widened in realization and instantly moved to the side, allowing Lei to pass. “Oh my gosh! I’m so, so sorry!”

“That’s okay.”

Lei didn’t move an inch though, as she waited for the brunette to speak up. When the other didn’t, she sighed inwardly and figured she’d have to start the conversation once more.

“Are you going to tell me anything? I mean, with the blocking my way and all, I think you want to tell me something.”

“I’m Diane,” the brunette blurted out in a hurry that Lei almost didn’t get it.

“And I’m Lei,” she held out her hand. “Nice meeting you Diane.”

Diane looked at the hand being offered and back at Lei’s face, then to the hand once more and finally, shook it profusely.

“It’s so nice finally meeting you, Miss Charles-Carlson! I mean, when we first heard you were coming here to study for your final year, we were all so, so very thrilled! As in like really! You don’t know how you’re being here is such a huge thing!”

Lei was, apparently, having trouble getting her hand out of the very forceful handshake.

“I’m Diane Briggs and I’m the head cheerleader here at Wright Duncan. Did you like the banner? We made it really big just for you. We wanted to show everyone how grateful we are that you chose our school for your senior year!”

Fortunately, Lei managed to squeeze her hand out of Diane’s death grip and began massaging it when one thing registered in her head. Did she just say cheerleader? Oh no! Not this early!

“Miss Charles-Carlson, did you like the banner?”

The girl with dark brown hair looked at the exasperatingly chirpy look on Diane’s face and once again, sighed inwardly.

“I loved the banner, thank you.” Another sigh. “And Lei would be fine. Just Lei, since we’ll be schoolmates and all.”

Diane squealed. Did the heiress just say to call her by her nickname?

“Now if you’ll excuse me, Diane. I have to –” And Lei was once on her way to the nearest building when Diane blocked her path once more.

“Wait, I have a friend here who’s a part of the student government. She’ll be glad to finally meet you.”

The brunette yanked another figure and Lei found herself staring at sparkling, emerald green eyes. She tore her gaze away from the other girl’s eyes to her face – ensconced in long flowing blond hair.

“I’m Kristen.”


She tapped her pen on the desk lightly and sighed. She had been having the urge to place her hand on her chin and just yawn for all her heart’s worth, but she realized that on her first day of classes in a new school, giving the impression that she was uninterested in the lessons probably wouldn’t be such a good idea. She may be a rich and famous student, but she still was a student and teachers were … well, still teachers. Also, if she wanted to gain their respect by just being Lei and not being “the heiress”, she had to impress them with her charming personality.

And she knew just how charming she could be.

However, she still didn’t understand why she had to have Pre-calculus this early in the morning. Way to set the mood for a girl.

The teacher wasn’t really all that boring, she had to admit. It was just her and numbers. She doubt there ever was a time that the combination of her and math ever became anything other than boring. All these years, Lei still failed to understand how math was going to help her in life. Well, if she didn’t become an actress, she’d be managing her parents’ businesses and be up in her office signing papers all day… or something to that effect.

Okay, so maybe managing a business would take numbers and calculations. But when that happens, she’d have employees doing all the computations for her and her only worries would be about the statistical blah blahs.

At least her Statistics class would be more useful than the Pre-calculus class that was currently melting her brains out with all the boredom.

Lei sighed in silence once more. She really had to pay attention to her teacher. He was even cute with all the enthusiasm. If she never admitted to herself she was gay, she’d totally and understandably have a mild crush on him.

“So what do you think about the course outline, Ms. Carlson?”

She snapped out of her reverie. Did he just call her attention?

“I beg your pardon, sir?” She stood up.

“The course outline. What’s your opinion about the topics we’ll be having this year, Ms. Carlson?”

Lei tried to gauge the older man for any hint of antagonism. Looking at Mr. Hansen, his face actually looked friendly and expectant. She smiled at him.

“I’m sure I’d be looking forward to …derivatives, sir.”

Ugh, I did not just say that.

“That’s great! I do also believe that it’s actually one of the most interesting topics. Thank you for your opinion, Ms. Carlson,” he gave Lei a pleasant yet very obviously I-know-you-were-on-your-own-world look and smiled.

Lei decided to play with him a little.



“It’s not just Carlson,” she smirked at him. “It’s Charles-Carlson.”

He looked slightly taken aback, but immediately went back to his cool and friendly demeanor – which was what Lei actually expected out of the teacher.

“Noted, Ms. Charles-Carlson.”

She smiled at him sweetly and sat back down. Lei thought that having Hansen for a teacher just might ease the boredom off and make the year interesting.

The rest of the class looked at Lei in awe. It was definitely going to be one hell of an interesting year with Leila Charles-Carlson around.

End of Chapter Three.

Coming soon on Of Tears And Broken Hearts:

We’ve been running around for hours, Leila. I just want to sleep.”

On the grass? Come on! A bed’s better! Let’s stay at our house,” the brunette said as she unceremoniously plopped down next to her friend.

But we just slept there last night.”

You can sleep there again,” the brunette smiled at her friend.


Kristen knew there was only one reason she was being bothered like this. She had been unable to concentrate on any class at all that morning and she knew it was because she was too preoccupied with other thoughts. Thoughts about a certain brunette with calm blue eyes, sweet smile, and an angelic face.

Chapter 5

Title: Chapter Four - Bewildering

[Author's notes: I decided to divide this chapter into two parts because I thought it was too long… I’d probably be doing that quite often from now on… Enjoy!]

Chapter Four – Bewildering

They had been chasing each other around for hours. Finally exhausted, the blonde girl decided to lie down and rest on the luscious grass.

What? You’re tired already?” Kristen looked up at the sound of another voice just above her. Sure enough, there was her hyperactive playmate.

We’ve been running around for hours, Leila. I just want to sleep.”

On the grass? Come on! A bed’s better! Let’s stay at our house,” the brunette said as she unceremoniously plopped down next to her friend.

But we just slept there last night.”

You can sleep there again,” the brunette smiled at her friend. “Nanny Josie won’t mind. She loves making pancakes in the morning.”

She makes really good pancakes.”

I know.”

They giggled. After a while, Leila lied down next to her friend and simply looked at the sky.

Kristen, on the other hand, looked at her friend’s tranquil face.


Hmm…?” she didn’t waver from her gaze at the clear blue sky, even upon hearing the blonde girl call out her name.

Where’s your dad? And mom?”

I don’t know…”

You don’t know them?”

Now, Leila looked at the blonde girl’s face.

Oh, I know them. I just don’t know where they are right now. I was with them when we came here but that day when Mom allowed me to play by myself, when I came back, they’re gone.”

Are they coming back?”

They always come back. I don’t know when but I’m sure they will. That’s what they do when we live at different places all the time,” The brunette grinned and looked at Kristen’s face with open sincerity. “They fly on the plane with me. We live at a house in some place that I don’t know where. They stay for some days. They leave, sometimes for a long time and sometimes, not very long. Then they come back again.”

Do you miss them?”

Yes,” the smile on Leila’s face suddenly dissolved and a serious expression took over. “But, I don’t want them to come back yet.”

Why?” Kristen was confused at the other girl’s statement when she had just said she missed her parents.

Because when they come back, that means we have to leave again.”

Leila closed her eyes and steadied the turmoil boiling inside her. Once again, she looked at her friend and was faced with a confused frown.

That means…” Kristen said, trying to voice out her confusion and figure out what Leila had just implied.

I’m going to leave and we can’t play anymore and…” Leila closed her eyes in another attempt to suppress the sudden sorrow that overcame her young heart, “…I’m really going to miss you, Kristen.”


Classes for the morning had just ended and Lei went out of her last class with a slight smile. She already seemed to be somewhat at ease with the new surroundings, considering her earlier trepidation. The stares and ogles were still very much evident but they didn’t faze her nearly as much as she thought they would. They were to be expected anyway. Being as famous as she was, studying in a suburban high school was something not most people would anticipate.

A few months ago, she herself never thought this would happen.

Things changed though and Lei knew being as far away as possible from her previous environment was for the best. Her parents completely supported her decision – like always – and she was happy they understood her need for distance. Lei knew she was one of the luckiest girls to have such understanding and loving parents. Not to mention, very, very rich.

But the money had never really mattered when it came to family affairs for the Charles-Carlson’s. Lei knew they were wealthy. Hell, her parents were billionaires for Pete’s sake! Their businesses range from chains of malls, restaurants, and hotels to fashion brands and designs to innumerable investments in places that never really piqued her interest. They had countless connections everywhere and she knew she could have her way with anything just by a single snap of her dad’s fingers. But of course, she never used the Charles-Carlson wealth and power for anything downright selfish. Her parents would not tolerate it and she wasn’t that much of a brat anyway.

As a matter of fact, she didn’t actually know why people branded her a spoiled brat in the first place. She was never whiny and she didn’t insist on having things given to her on a silver platter. Maybe from an outsider’s point of view, it seemed as though her parents were spoiling her with all the fancy cars and stylish clothes. But Lei knew, as much as her parents do, that she had worked for everything she ever possessed. Her gorgeous convertible was a gift after a stressful, but nevertheless awesome job helping to manage a school play – a huge production to say the least – and her other things were only prizes for her continuous hard work in her studies – something that she truly did care for which showed in her flawless straight A reputation in her previous school. But of course, they didn’t see that. They only saw the spoiled rich kid who has billionaires for parents.

Whatever. If people only cared to make assumptions about her personality based on skin deep observations, then they certainly weren’t worth her time.

Besides, they knew nothing when it came to her life and everything she went through.


Kristen stared at the same word in the book she had been trying to read for the past 15 minutes. No matter how she tried – struggled – to comprehend the words, it just wasn’t working for her at all. And to be perfectly honest with herself, she knew that there was no point trying anymore. She had already wasted almost a quarter of her lunch period and the past minutes were obviously telling her that she would not be able to finish any further reading, at least for the meantime.

Maybe what she needed was to clear her mind, even just for the moment. Surely, all she needed was a little alone time, on her favorite spot in the campus grounds, just below an old oak tree. Maybe what she needed was a little rest and whatever was bothering her would eventually fade away.

Well, what was bothering her anyway?

She sighed. There was no point playing twenty questions with herself. Plus, there was no use trying to delude her own self from what she was really feeling inside. Lying and maybe even deceiving herself would never solve anything.

Kristen knew there was only one reason she was being bothered like this. She had been unable to concentrate on any class at all that morning and she knew it was because she was too preoccupied with other thoughts. Thoughts about a certain brunette with calm blue eyes, sweet smile, and an angelic face.

There she was again. It had been hours since her first meeting with the CC heiress and she was still being lost in those few moments when their skin met in a firm yet welcoming handshake and when sapphire embraced emerald in a fitting stare.

Kristen couldn’t point it out yet but she knew there was something there – something unexplainable. The moment their hands held, she felt a sudden surge of familiarity, like she had been used to these feelings for a very long time. When she gazed at the brunette’s eyes, she felt as if she was being taken to an enchanted realm, yet somehow, no matter how much rationalizing her mind did, her soul still felt the gossamer thread that bound her to this place. And it confused the hell out of her.

What was with Lei Charles-Carlson that made her like this? Sure she was the famous model daughter of equally controversial filthy rich parents, yet Kristen was sure not even that could merit this kind of reaction from her. She had never felt this way before and she didn’t like having all these bewildering emotions.


It was now or never. She knew that she had to do this and given the circumstances, she hoped she wasn’t making a huge mistake. Besides, if the shirt the brunette had on that day was any indication, she truly believed that she had a shot.

Slowly but surely, she approached the wealthy ‘heiress’ with as much confidence as she could muster. She didn’t know the brunette’s attitude or how the other girl would react to what she was about to do, but she really wanted to get her in the group. Having the Lei CC as a member would definitely do wonders, not just for the whole faction, but also for the school. Being the leader required her to do this.

She just really, really hoped that if there was one rumor that was untrue when it came to Lei Charles-Carlson, it was that she was a spoiled rich bitch.


End of the first part of chapter four…

Chapter 6

Title: Chapter Four - Bewildering part two

[Author's notes: Here is the continuation to the earlier chapter and the next chapter will be up when I get another review... Feed the review whore please!]

Chapter Four – Bewildering

Lei wasn’t even meters away from the classroom of her last class for the morning when she noticed a redhead approaching her. Immediately, she wondered what this girl wanted since, judging from how people seemed to react around her, they either just stared or tried to discreetly – yeah right – check her out. If this girl had the courage to approach her straightforwardly, then it must either be because of official business or just because she was the only one with the guts to talk to ‘the heiress’ – other than Diane early that morning of course which, considering the other brunette was the head cheerleader and all, wasn’t such a surprise.

This redhead slowly getting nearer and nearer however didn’t seem like the cheerleader type. She looked kind of… punk even.

Lei smiled softly as she watched the other girl walk towards her. If this girl wanted to befriend her and actually had the guts to approach her, then surely she would love the company. Having a punk redhead as a friend in a suburban school sounded like a pleasant enough thought.

The redhead was now in front of her and Lei felt her grin growing wider. Seeing this open and welcoming expression from the brunette, the other girl seemed to drop the indifference act and warmly smiled herself.

“Hey. I’m Julia Aimes.” Julia offered her hand out immediately and hoped to herself that the brunette would take it. She really couldn’t afford to look like a big fool if ever Lei turned out to be a major bitch.

Lei took the hand and shook it as she introduced herself. “Lei Charles-Carlson.”

“Really nice to meet you,” Julia was gratefully relieved when the other girl took her proffered hand in a friendly handshake. Maybe the rumors that this brunette was a bitch weren’t true after all.

“Same here.”

“Ummm… I know you’re kinda thinking why I just approached you like this out of no where. I mean, normally people would just stare…”

Lei laughed heartily. She liked this girl already.

“Well, I am wondering actually. It’s a good thing you talked to me though. A girl could only take too much staring in one day.”

“Well, you better get used to it. With you being you, it’s really no surprise,” the redhead said as she made casual conversation. To tell the honest truth, Julia was being pleasantly surprised with the instant comfort she found while talking to Lei. She never knew that a wealthy and famous ‘heiress’ like Lei could actually really be nice. There were already enough bitches in their school and she was glad that Lei didn’t seem to be a part of that category. At least that was what it looked like it.

“I know. It’s just,” Lei sighed. “why can’t people at least try to tone it down to a more suitable level? Plus, I bet the guys’ girlfriends aren’t pleased with all the ogling. I really don’t want to be branded a boyfriend stealer this early in the year. I mean, come on. I don’t even play for that team.”

Bingo! “So you’re gay?” Julia tried to hide her giddiness. Everything was going really well.

Apparently, Lei noticed the redhead’s change of demeanor to something lighter and… happier? “The shirt didn’t clue you in?” Lei smugly pointed to her shirt and the clear message being relayed.

Julia was now grinning from ear to ear.

“I just didn’t want to really assume or anything. So the rumors –”

“About me being a lesbian is absolutely, undoubtedly true,” the brunette cut off and announced a little louder for most of the people around the crowded hall to hear. When she got the reaction she expected – people staring at her even harder, if that was even possible, and some had mouths open (and were there drool?), in shock or lust, Lei couldn’t know – she looked at the crowd and waved at everyone. Some looked away in embarrassment while some talked in hushed tones. Others – some girls to be exact – blushed furiously.

Julia saw all this and was amazed at how Lei just bluntly announced her sexuality to the whole school. At that moment, she knew that she definitely needed Lei in the group.

“That was… you just practically came out to the whole school…”

Lei shrugged. “I don’t like hiding anything. If they can’t respect me, my beliefs, and the choices that I make, then they’re not worth my respect either. I’ve been open about my preferences since the beginning. I have nothing to hide,” Lei looked at the redhead sincerely, hoping that the other girl would understand fully what she was saying.

Julia was even more amazed at what Lei said and she found herself admiring the brunette and her personality. Who knew the CC ‘heiress’ was nothing she expected her to be – a spoiled rich bitch?

“Would you like to join the Gay Straight Alliance? We could really use someone like you with us. I’m head of the group, by the way,” Julia finally said, now hoping more than ever that Lei would acquiesce. If what she witnessed was to be a sign if ever Lei joined the GSA, then the group was headed for bigger better things this year.

“Sure. I’d be glad to be a part of the school’s GSA.”

“Great! That’s really awesome!” The redhead tried to contain the overexcitement but knew that she failed terribly. “Ummm... There’s a meeting tomorrow afternoon at the bookstore at the end of the street outside school. That’s the regular meeting place. You could go, if you want.”

“Expect me there tomorrow.”

Julia couldn’t believe that the brunette had just been a part of the GSA and she was definitely very excited. With Lei as a member, it was bound to definitely be a wonderfully kick-ass year. Having a sort-of celebrity, openly gay schoolmate – and hopefully friend – was sure to have its ups.



The blonde opened her eyes upon hearing her name and immediately saw Diane approaching her. She smiled at the sight of her friend. Maybe, the presence of her friend would help ease whatever troubled emotions she had at the moment.

“This early in the year and you’re already being anti-social!” Diane sat down next to the blonde and saw the book that had been left unnoticed lying on the grass. She picked it up and looked at it curiously before handing it to Kristen. “And you’re already being a nerd!”

Kristen chuckled softly. Having Diane near really was refreshing – despite the fact that the brunette took her role as the head cheerleader way too seriously. Which included making sure all she did was ‘in’.

“Whatever, Diane. You know I love hanging out here.”

“Yeah, but you don’t have to be all loner girl,” And with that, the conversation about Kristen’s choice to sit alone and read a book during lunch period was over. It definitely was, considering Diane now skipped to a more ‘important’ topic she had in mind. “So, are you going to the GSA meeting tomorrow?”

The blonde looked at her friend in mild shock. Since when did Diane Briggs ever give any of her precious attention to the school’s Gay Straight Alliance?

When she wasn’t met by a response, Diane prodded her friend by asking the question once more. “What? Are you going to the GSA meeting tomorrow or not?”

Kristen, still unsure where her friend’s sudden interest in the GSA meeting was coming from, answered uncertainly, “I guess? I mean, I’ve always been attending since… Wait. Why are you suddenly asking me about the GSA meeting?”

“Well, if you are, then wait up for me tomorrow ‘coz I’m coming with you.”

And upon hearing that, Kristen’s furrowed brows – from, again, mild shock and now with the much added curiosity – rose as high as they can get along with her widened eyes.

“You’re coming with me?!”

The brunette just smiled and nodded.

“You? You are coming with me?! To the GSA meeting?!”

Another nod.

“Is this some kind of joke?”

“No joke, Kristen. Why? Don’t you believe me?”

“I’m finding it hard to,” Kristen, for all her years in high school and since the GSA started a few years ago, was trying so hard to remember one single event where her cheerleader friend ever showed any interest in cooperating with the GSA projects. Nope, nothing there.

“Well, whether you believe it or not, I’m coming with you.”

A brief pause.




“Because I believe in what the GSA believes in.”

Kristen looked at the cheerleader incredulously, but refrained from saying anything.

After a few seconds of being stared at like a second head suddenly grew on her, Diane couldn’t take it any more and finally blurted out the real reason for her sudden course of actions.

“Okay. Okay. I want to go ‘coz Lei CC is going to be there.”

“I knew it!”

“So, we can go together, right? Tomorrow?”

“Sure. But how did you know that Lei’s going to be in the meeting?”

“Oh well, my sources say that punk Julia just recruited her or something.”

“And she agreed to join and go to the meeting tomorrow?”

“Of course! She even outed herself to the whole school hall.”

“Really? That’s…”

“HOT,“ Diane cut off, eager to put in her own opinion of what happened.

“I was about to say brave and admirable.”

“But HOT is a better thing to say. Especially when Lei CC’s involved.”

And with that final comment from the head cheerleader, Kristen had nothing left to say.

End of Chapter Four.

Coming soon on Of Tears And Broken Hearts:

She turned around to look and at that instant, whatever annoyance there was seeping through her blood suddenly vanished. She sat awestruck as she gazed at a gorgeous raven-haired beauty. She realized that not only did the feelings of annoyance leave her, but so did her ability to think properly like a normal person.

Happy birthday.”

Did the heavenly being before her just speak?


“Well, not everybody’s a bitch either and most possibly the hugest hypocrite that’s ever existed.”

Julia sighed, “How do you know that when you’re not even friends? And the fact that one of the kindest people we know, which is Kristen, has been friends with her and stuck with her for a very long time should say something about Diane’s personality. Maybe she’s not so much the bitch you make her out to be.”

“And maybe, Kristen’s just too kind to lose a friend. Ever think of that?”

Chapter 7

Title: Chapter Five - Enigma and Indifference

[Author's notes: Here's the fifth installment! Enjoy and tell me what you think! This is quite longer than the previous ones and more characters are introduced...]

Chapter Five – Enigma and Indifference

She had done her part.

She had welcomed people she didn’t even know and had not seen until that day. She had smiled, socialized, and talked to total strangers that pretended they were long-time close family friends that went way back, when in fact, she had know idea where all these ‘guests’ sprouted from. She mingled, just as she was expected to do. She had put on a mask and struggled wearing it for the rest of the night just because she needed to project the perfect image of a Charles-Carlson heiress.

She was the center of a perfect charade and she did her part stunningly.

She had done her part and she wanted it to be over, at least for the night.

Even though she absolutely loathed having these celebrations – gatherings most would say – she knew she had to do it. Well, it wasn’t as if the night was totally abhorring. Just a while ago, she had shared a moment with her father she knew she would treasure all her life and that in itself made all the pretending and fake smiles worth it. Her parents truly loved and understood her and interacting with a bunch of hypocrites on the night of her sixteenth birthday was a small price to pay for all the love she had been showered with through all the years.

Never did she expect her father to give her the present she had just received. She had no idea, after all these years, that her parents still remembered. She never even thought they paid her any attention all those times she bugged her parents about going back to that suburban area that has captured her young heart. And she understood why they seemed to ignore her innocent pleas back then. It had been a very tough time for all of them and preoccupied would be an understatement to describe her parents’ state of mind.

Now, she knew for sure that they didn’t deliberately ignore her. They just had to set their priorities straight and her innocent requests to seek out a playmate and lounge under an old oak tree weren’t at the top of the list. Not to mention, with the fragility of their situation at that point in time, she knew her parents were unsure what the consequences of such simple actions would lead to.

She felt the rough sand on her bare feet as she walked closer towards the ocean. She hated wearing those high-heeled ‘things’ as much as she hated pretending to enjoy a gathering of stuck-up wealthy ‘family friends’. Leaving both of those behind, now she can truly take pleasure in celebrating her birthday. She appreciated the fact that her parents chose a hotel quite near the ocean shore to formally celebrate a new year in her life. Her parents probably anticipated her need to be alone after the gathering, and what was more relaxing than being blessed with the presence of the sea at night while gazing at the vast horizon?

She didn’t care what others may perceive of her looks at that instant, with her elegant black gown that lacked the final touch of a pair of footwear on her feet endowed with perfectly pedicured toes. All she knew was that the sound of the ocean waves turning hypnotized her and she felt the need to be nearer the shore.

The moment she finally sat down on a comfortable place to enjoy the enchanting sight that beheld her, she instantly felt another presence nearby. At first, she ignored the unexpected company, in hopes that whoever or whatever it was would eventually leave her to her serenity. After awhile she realized that instead of leaving, she felt the other presence seemingly coming near her. She frowned both in disappointment and confusion. Couldn’t she at least get the night to herself without any unwanted being trying to bug her?

She turned around to look and at that instant, whatever annoyance there was seeping through her blood suddenly vanished. She sat awestruck as she gazed at a gorgeous raven-haired beauty. She realized that not only did the feelings of annoyance leave her, but so did her ability to think properly like a normal person.

Happy birthday.”

Did the heavenly being before her just speak?

Lei saw the other girl’s mouth move. She heard the words uttered. But what she couldn’t get past was the fact that such an angel just happened to look straight back at her and… talk to her.

Before she could even say anything in response – that is if she could – she felt rather than saw the other girl with enchanting black hair sit beside her and stare at the ocean, like she just did moments ago. It was riveting to have this goddess from who knows where just talk to her and sit beside her as if they’ve been friends for a long time.

Looking at the black-haired girl, Lei tried to seek out a distant memory of her in the recesses of her mind. She came out blank however. She probably was also a guest to her party but surely, she would have recognized her, right?

I know you don’t really know me.”

Lei realized that the other girl was speaking again and this time, she ceased whatever fantasies were trying to invade her head and focused all her attention on the girl with hair as black as the night sky.

I just came over to greet you a happy birthday.”

I…ummmm…” Lei wanted to smack her head on something really hard. The chance to strike up a conversation and she was coming out as a total idiot.

The other girl laughed softly and Lei noticed how breathtaking this simple sight truly was. Contagious too, since she had also started laughing along.

When the laughter subsided, the other girl spoke once more.

You don’t really need to say anything. And I’m sorry for invading your personal space. I just want to really talk to you and when the opportunity presented itself, I couldn’t help not passing it up.”

You can invade my personal space anytime,” Lei blurted out before she could stop herself and when she realized what she had just said, began blushing profusely. That moment she wanted nothing more than to drown herself in the ocean and never resurface. She was too embarrassed to say anything more after realizing the innuendo behind those few words. Plus, she was probably blushing like a soon-to-explode ripe tomato.

The other girl giggled girlishly and Lei noticed that she also had some hints of red on her cheeks.

I mean, ummm, it’s okay that you’re here. I could probably enjoy the extra company,” Lei said hurriedly trying to salvage whatever good impression vibes she may have left.

The other girl nodded and looked at the horizon once more, before speaking up, “The ocean’s very beautiful. Holding your party near here is a very good idea.”

My parents thought of it. They probably knew I’d want to relax the night away after trying to smile at everyone and socialize to people I barely even know,” then she realized that the girl was probably one of those ‘guests’ to her gathering and she quickly said, “Not that I didn’t enjoy it!”

The other girl giggled again and then smiled as she faced Lei. “I get it. I hate those kinds of parties too.”

So you’re one of the guests?” The girl nodded. “How come I didn’t –?”

I came in late. Plus you were too busy trying to dodge all those people you barely even knew to even notice me,” the girl smirked.

It was Lei’s turn to giggle. “Sorry. I’m just not comfortable with people trying to get on my good side by complimenting on my looks when I know all they thought of was my surname, hence the dodging.”

The other girl’s smile turned into a huge grin.

You’re just like what they say you are.”


Brave. Different. Mysteriously interesting.”

Wow. I didn’t know people talk about me that way,” Lei scoffed and looked back at the ocean.

Of course you do. That’s why you act the way you do. You respect your parents by socializing in some elitist party but once it’s over, you don’t give a damn. You are who you are. I like it.”

Upon hearing this, Lei turned back to look at the other girl’s face and instantly found herself getting lost in depths of green. That was how it was when she heard the raven-haired goddess speaking once more.

I like you.”


The average GSA meeting for the past two or three years since Julia had been active ranged from only about 10 to at most 20 people who truly showed their interest in what the group stood for. It had been a normal routine for her to inter-act with all the regulars and those who occasionally came up to accompany some of their friends. The GSA at Wright Duncan may not be one of the most active school organizations, but they had their own share of activities and supporters.

This afternoon, however, was nothing like the ordinary. The usually silent room at the back of the bookstore was now very much jam-packed with students of all years that seemed to have suddenly grown an interest in becoming more accepting of fellow schoolmates without prejudice on sexual orientation. It would have been a very pleasant change had Julia not known better. Most of the students present for the GSA meeting were only there because of Lei CC – if not to check out what she’d look like or how she was going to act like in a typical GSA meeting but to ogle a little more and in closer proximity. But well, Julia knew the moment she had asked the wealthy Charles-Carlson daughter to be a part of the school organization that these kinds of reactions from students in school should already be expected. Besides, even though most of the students around didn’t care much for the group, the fact that they cared about Lei enough to be present was good indication that they’d also care enough to participate in future activities that surely, Lei would advocate.

She felt a tap on her shoulder that shook her out her thoughts and felt the presence that casually pulled a chair and sat near her. With this, Julia smiled knowing immediately who this familiar presence would be.

“Hey, Sven.”

“Hey yourself.”

Julia’s smile grew wider as she turned to look at one of her closest friends and also one of the most active members of the GSA. She assessed her friend’s new hairstyle – now dyed red with streaks of purple – and the ever present black eye shadow. Her friend’s lips were now pursed in a smirk and no matter how much Sven acted like the tough, indifferent girl with her all-black outfit and her constantly narrowed eyes, the girl could never really hide how beautiful her smile really was.

“So, how was your day?”

“Oh, you know, the usual.”

“Skipping classes and smoking at the alley.”

“Pretty much.”

Julia laughed as Sven just slid further into her seat and now looked at the huge number of people present inside the room.

“Well, I’ll have you know, my pretty punk friend, that I did attend a few classes. Those that matter anyway… English Lit, for instance,” the bottle redhead spoke up while seemingly assessing the crowd. “And by the way, I can’t believe how everyone just fit in here. I used to think this room was very cozy but now, it just looks cramped.”

“Well, what can I say? The GSA is in demand this year.”

Sven scoffed. “No, the group isn’t. But she certainly is,” and with that, she pointed at the approaching brunette who certainly grabbed everyone’s attention the minute she came in.

Julia stood up as Lei neared her and they both shared brief smiles before the brunette turned to sit beside the other presence – Sven – who now looked plainly … bored. Seeing this, Lei turned her attention towards the girl with obviously dyed red hair and presented a hand in greeting.

“Lei Charles-Carlson.”

Sven just looked indifferently at the brunette’s face and then her hand, and just when she was about to either scoff once more or simply shrug off the little introduction, she felt a sharp slap on the backside of her head.

“Owww!” the bottle redhead looked back at her real redheaded friend with a scowl, “What’d you do that for?!”

Julia ignored the scowl and glare aimed her way though and turned to Lei who now sported an amused look on her face, “I apologize for my friend’s pigheaded rudeness. Oftentimes I wonder if the word ‘polite’ is even included in her vocabulary.”

“Hey! I could be polite!” Sven interrupted and immediately took the brunette’s proffered hand. “Sven…” she said with a hearty shake.

“Whatever, Sven. You were totally going to scoff at Lei just a while ago.”

“No, I wasn’t.” And to the brunette, “Don’t believe Julia. I am a totally nice person… well, except to bitches anyway. You’re not a bitch are you?” With this, she gave an assessing glare with matching narrowed eyes that just made it absolutely impossible for Lei not to laugh.

“No, I assure you that I am not a bitch, although a few rumors could mislead you,“ said the ‘heiress’ after her laughter fit.

“Good. I’m not one for rumors anyway.”

“Since you two have been properly acquainted,” Julia said as she looked at Lei and gave a sincere smile, “I think it’s time to say that I’m really glad you decided to come, Lei.”

“Don’t worry about it. I was thinking of joining the GSA even before you approached me anyway. But, are the meetings really always this crowded?”

It was Sven, “No, they’re just all here wanting to stare at you.”


“What, Julia? It’s true! They’re all just here coz of Miss CC here… not really coz they wanna be a part of the GSA.”

Lei sighed, “Figures…”

Sven looked at the brunette, “Well, I bet you expected that already, didn’t you?”

Julia shot her dye-haired friend a glare and then turned to the brunette, “I’m sorry for Sven’s rudeness… again.” Another glare. “But I hope you don’t put it against the other students for coming here just to see you, or stare at you, for that matter,” now looking pointedly at the other students who didn’t even have the right manners to conceal their plaintive ogling.

“No, no that’s okay. Let’s just hope that at the end of the month, they’ll be coming here for the actual meetings and not for other things,” with this the brunette gave another one of her infamous smiles and Sven just looked at her with raised eyebrows.

“You’re quite the optimist aren’t you?”

“I prefer to be called the realistic idealist.”

And a grin broke its way into the Sven’s face, “You’re cool. I like you.”

“You’re pretty cool yourself. Like the hair, by the way.”

And Sven’s grin just grew wider.


“When I said I’m not nice to bitches, I meant I absolutely cannot tolerate them,” Sven declared in a totally nonchalant way that seemed like she didn’t care whether anyone heard her or not. Apparently, someone did.

“Are you saying I’m a bitch?”

With an indifferent gaze, the bottle redhead turned to look at the brunette head cheerleader a distance away from her at the other end of the circle that everyone made the moment the GSA meeting started several minutes ago, “I never mentioned any names…but thanks for acknowledging it anyway.”

Not surprisingly enough, at least for Sven and Julia anyway, the head cheerleader graced the GSA meeting with her presence for the first time since forever and she came with GSA regular and student body favorite Kristen Sanders who just happened to also be her best friend. Why Diane happened to have such a sweet girl for a best friend, and managed to maintain their friendship for the longest time, was beyond Sven but she knew already that this was going to happen. Activities including Lei CC just happened to be the “in” thing lately and whoever to head with the flow but the head cheerleader herself? Although, for the self-proclaimed nonconformist, it was nonetheless annoying.

Especially when the bitch was making it sound as if she’d been a part of the GSA from the very beginning…which never happened.

“So, you are calling me a bitch?” Barely concealed shock grazed the head cheerleader’s face.

Sven just couldn’t keep the eye roll from coming when she realized just how stupidly clueless the brunette was being. Maybe she’s better off being blonde. But just then, Sven looked at Kristen and realized that Kristen is blonde but she wasn’t that stupid.

And then she realized another thing.

Sven, before deciding to put all those chemicals on her head and before discovering the wonders of hair dye, used to be blonde. Platinum blonde to be exact.

Okay, so maybe the dumb blonde thing wasn’t as true as it was clichéd. But still, Sven knew for sure that if anyone was the embodiment of pathetically stupid right at that moment, for her it was none other than Diane Briggs.

Before Sven could give any form of response to that however, Julia already stood up and yanked her friend from where she was seated. This surprised the bottle redhead but Julia either didn’t see this or just didn’t care.

The real redhead turned to Kristen who was watching everything from where she was seated beside her best friend. “Sven and I are going to talk for a while. Do you mind taking over the meeting while we’re gone, Kristen?”

“No, of course not. Go ahead.”


Without another word to anyone, Julia practically pulled her friend and dragged her to the area outside the bookshop. Once out of anyone’s earshot, a fuming Julia turned to Sven and lashed out, “What the hell is wrong with you?!”

The bottle redhead was taken aback by such an abrasive behavior, by Julia nonetheless, but her mild shock immediately turned to anger. “NOTHING is wrong with me! What’s wrong is THAT over there…” pointing back to the bookstore, “…and Diane the cheer-fuckin’-leader taking over the meeting like she knows what she’s talking about! She’s never been to any meeting before. She’s never even set foot in the bookstore before now, and then suddenly she pops up and goes all queen bee on us! What the fuck?!”

“She was just trying to help, Sven. And isn’t it a good thing that she’s willing to be a part of the group now? We need all the support we can get,” Julia said, taking back a little control on her emotions. She noted that lashing out on Sven and getting them both angered wasn’t such a good idea.

Hearing this only made Sven scoff and she realized she was hearing this from Julia, of all people, “You can’t possibly be THAT naïve, Jules. We all know she’s just there because of Lei.”

“So is everybody else. But I don’t see you calling them bitches.”

“Well, not everybody’s a bitch either and most possibly the hugest hypocrite that’s ever existed.”

Julia sighed, “How do you know that when you’re not even friends? And the fact that one of the kindest people we know, which is Kristen, has been friends with her and stuck with her for a very long time should say something about Diane’s personality. Maybe she’s not so much the bitch you make her out to be.”

“And maybe, Kristen’s just too kind to lose a friend. Ever think of that?”

“Yes, but I also think that right now, Diane’s willing to be a part of the GSA and maybe we should all give her a chance.”

An eyeroll. “Whatever.”

“What’s your beef with her anyway? I don’t see you getting this worked up with all the other cheerleaders. And I also refuse to think that you’ve turned judgmental all of a sudden.”

Hearing this, Sven turned to her friend with eyes wide open, “I’m not judgmental! It’s just… she’s…” A huge dramatic sigh, “Fine! Fine! I’ll give the bi- HER a chance. But I don’t have to like her, okay?”

Smiling at the pout that now sported her friend’s face, Julia headed back inside the bookstore to where the meeting was being held, knowing that Sven was just trailing behind.


The GSA meeting went on without any further interruption after Sven and Julia came back from their brief conversation. Sven kept all the snide remarks to herself and settled with her usual indifferent looks along with a stray roll of the eye here and there. Despite the silence though, it was still very much obvious that Sven was pissed.

“So, it’s settled then. We’ll have some sort of acquaintance party,” Julia said with a smile as she looked at everyone around the room, particularly at her silent friend.

Diane clapped her hands in excitement as she announced, “And we’re going to make this THE party of the year…or at least until Halloween comes. People are going to talk about this party for weeks.”

The redheaded leader of the group beamed. “Great! So now we just have to figure out where to hold the event.”

“We could opt for somewhere on campus. Get an approval from the admin.,” Kristen said. “But frankly, I don’t vouch for it.”

“Neither do I,” Diane stated. “I mean come on, we’re talking party of the year here.”

“We could have it at my place.”

Everyone looked at Lei the moment those words had been uttered.

“I mean, seriously, it’s big enough to accommodate everyone who wants to go. Plus, I won’t mind.”

Despite the huge temptation of the idea of holding the first major GSA event for the year at the CC heiress’s place, Julia still wanted to make sure that they weren’t really imposing on the girl. “Are you sure? I mean, I believe you’ve probably just been here a few weeks to say the most. And you’re just starting you’re senior year here now. We really don’t want to impose.”

“Yes!” Diane interrupted. “Maybe it’s too much.”

“No, no, of course not. I won’t suggest it if I really didn’t want to. Besides, I’d be very happy to help out the group any way I can.”

There was no mistaking the excited buzz that emanated around the room. Seemed like everyone was starting to find the idea of a GSA acquaintance party at Lei’s house to be the most interesting thing there is.

The brunette grinned. She’d already been considering volunteering her house ever since the moment they started discussing having an acquaintance party. It was no doubt that the mere thought of having the party at her own place would make the event a huge success.

And at that moment, Kristen looked on and wondered at the enigma that was Leila Charles-Carlson.

End of Chapter Five.

Coming soon on Of Tears And Broken Hearts:

Kristen sighed. There was no point getting all worked up over a friendship which probably never even meant as much to the other girl as it did for her.

Although, she still wondered and asked about a lot of things like where Leila was, what she looked like now, how she was doing.


“It’s just… I don’t even know what’s actually happening.” The blonde looked down and then to the can of root beer she was holding.

“I’m not getting you.”

“I’m not getting myself either. But…but maybe I’m just over-analyzing things…”

“Over-analyzing what? What things?” Diane was genuinely confused now.


A few seconds after, realization, then shock replaced the confusion in Lei and all she was able to do was plop down on the couch without looking away at what was happening before her.


Chapter 8

Title: Chapter Six - Evaded Return

[Author's notes:

This is the first part of the sixth chapter and I hope you're still interested in this... Things are going to pick up speed and action are coming soon but for the meantime, I hope to develop the characters and introduce more.

Btw, thank you for the reviews! Feedback keeps me going on...


Chapter Six – Evaded Return

She never meant to pass by but there she was and she couldn’t believe what she was witnessing. It had been almost seven years since she’d last seen her friend. She had to admit that their friendship, as honest and as fun as it had been, was probably long over. Despite promises of keeping in touch, the last contact she had with the other girl was when they both said their goodbyes.

And then, there was nothing. It was as if the three months they had together when they played, talked to each other, and slept over at each other’s houses didn’t happen. It was as if everything had been a wonderful dream, but just a dream nonetheless.

Kristen couldn’t believe her friend had just forgotten her like that. If she knew where the other girl was headed then she would have been the one to write and send letters. Apparently, neither of them knew where Leila was going and so Kristen settled for waiting for letters that never came. Still she never really lost hope that maybe one day the other girl would remember her promises.

But now, as she looked at the house that had once been her friend’s home being demolished by dozens of construction workers, she could not help the sinking feeling settling inside her. Even the very last connection they had together was being destroyed. Maybe it was finally the time to understand that such a friendship was now just a part of the past and of her childhood.

She continued looking on as she observed how the simple house was being turned to rubbles and debris. It was true that she rarely passed by the area around here anymore. Once in a while, when she found herself wanting to be alone, she would sit by the old oak tree a few paces away and just think. Afterwards, she would walk past the house and just reminisce on the good times.

With the house now gone however, she’d probably have to reconsider the long walks and moments of remembrance. Besides, if the house was being demolished, it probably meant that Leila and her family weren’t going to come back soon. If she was to be asked too, she wasn’t even sure if her friend’s family even owned the place in the first place. They could have just been renting the house so they’d have somewhere to stay for the few months they were there. She could still remember clearly how her friend had even been the one to say that they traveled a lot, so it was no doubt that their stay was not meant to be permanent.

Kristen sighed. There was no point getting all worked up over a friendship which probably never even meant as much to the other girl as it did for her.

Although, she still wondered and asked about a lot of things like where Leila was, what she looked like now, how she was doing.

She looked at the now almost non-existent ‘house’ and realized that there was also no point in wondering about those things. Obviously, the other girl had already moved on. Maybe it was time to get over the past and also move on.

She started walking away while sounds of a demolition became a haunting background. The sun was about to set and she still needed to study for a test the next day. It was time to go home.

Not to mention she had already forgotten the reason she came here in the first place.




Kristen could almost hear the loud thumping of her heart and as much as she would want to ignore it, she just can’t. Looking up at the huge house that stood mightily in front of her, the emotions swirled around her in angry waves and it had absolutely nothing to do with the size of the shelter. It wasn’t so much the what as the where.


“Okay, everyone. Welcome to my humble abode,” Lei announced with a smile.


“Humble, huh? More like colossal…and it doesn’t look very humble.” Trust Sven to say just what’s on her mind.


When everyone had finally agreed to hold the party at Lei’s place, it was also decided that Kristen, Diane, Sven, and Julia would be treated an initial look of the place, given the fact that the four of them plus Lei would be the ones responsible for organizing the said party. It seemed like the best idea at the time.


Kristen was having second thoughts about the idea now.


Actually, the moment she realized where they were headed, the confusion started and bells immediately began to ring inside her head. By the time the gate opened and she stepped out of Lei’s convertible, Kristen’s anxiety was more palpable than the confusion.


“We could head over to the place that I think would be best for the party,” and with concern in her eyes, Lei looked at Kristen’s weary expression. “Or we could go to the kitchen and get something to drink. Are you okay, Kristen?”


The blonde looked at Lei and saw the calm blue eyes looking back at her. Immediately, the beating of her heart became even more furious.


She looked down. Something was definitely wrong here and she didn’t know how to face whatever it was. “Y-yes. I’m fine.”


With knitted eyebrows, Lei gave a small nod. “Okay. Well, maybe we’ll go for the drink first.” The brunette knew that something was up with Kristen and probably a cold drink would make the blonde feel better.


Diane knew better, however. Kristen’s demeanor was already off even when they were still inside the car and they’ve been friends long enough to know that this didn’t have anything to do with being sick. It was deep and it was rooted inside.




Inside the kitchen, they all took their own choice of drinks like soda or canned iced tea while Diane dragged her friend to the side for a talk.


“Kristen, I know something’s off. You know you can tell me anything, right?”


“Yes, I do. It’s just… I don’t even know what’s actually happening.” The blonde looked down and then to the can of root beer she was holding.


“I’m not getting you.”


“I’m not getting myself either. But…but maybe I’m just over-analyzing things…”


“Over-analyzing what? What things?” Diane was genuinely confused now.


Kristen sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. She just didn’t know how to explain everything to her best friend.


“Hey, Kristen, Diane, we’re heading to where Lei says the bands could be set-up. You coming?” Julia called out.


Another sigh from Kristen and she went over to where Julia was now going. Eyes downcast, she didn’t see Diane shaking her head and also giving out her own sigh while following closely behind.


“So Lei, you live here alone? This place is too big. You could get lonely.”


Lei, walking a little distance ahead of the others, looked back at the bottle redhead and smiled. “I have a regular visitor so I don’t really get lonely…not that I don’t like the alone time.”


“I never pegged you for the loner type.”


“Well, I wasn’t.”


The reply was soft and it lacked the enthusiasm that Lei exuded every time she spoke. If Sven’s attention was focused on something else, she probably won’t have heard it. As it turned out though, Sven’s attention was on Lei at the moment and the hidden implication of what Lei said didn’t go unnoticed. She said she wasn’t. So, is she trying to be a loner now? Or is she trying to get away from something…someone?

At least Sven still had the decency not to dig anything deeper as she decided on giving no further comment. They just reached what looked like the living room area and she figured it was better to focus on more important things like the GSA party.


Or the unknown figure currently sitting on the sofa reading a magazine…who, the instant they came in, showed off a soft smile and went on to hug the now also smiling brunette.


Sven felt like an unwelcome presence in this obvious show of affection. The feeling was understandable considering how she never felt like an important part of her own family. And this, what she was witnessing at the moment, was obviously a family kind of thing.


“You didn’t tell me you were coming here!” The happiness in Lei’s eyes was undeniable.


“It was supposed to be a surprise. And knowing you, you’re going to come in through the backdoor so I thought I’d sit around here and inspect the mess you’ve made.”


“You know there’s no mess.”




“I’m not messy!”


“You’re forgetting who you’re talking to, Leila. If I knew you’d say that 15 years ago, I would have never stopped laughing,” at that instant, the gaze of the said figure went towards Lei’s back and to the bottle redhead who obviously looked uncomfortable. “And who do we have here?”


Lei looked back at Sven with a smile just as other personas entered the scene.


“Oh, I brought some friends over.”


The obviously elder person looked back at Lei, “And you still didn’t have the right manners to bring them in through the front door. I’m disappointed, Leila.”


“You know me and manners…” the brunette said.


“Oh I know so well,” said the elderly woman while seemingly not taking her eyes away from the last person that came in the room.


Lei saw this and figured it was probably time for introductions. Turning to the others, she gave a hearty smile, “Girls, this is one of the most beloved people in my life, my Nanny Josie.”


While Nanny Josie proceeded to smile at everyone, Kristen’s reaction was indecipherable.


“Nanny Josie, these are friends and fellow GSA members, Sven, Julia, Diane, and…” with this the elderly woman walked nearer the blonde girl, “Kristen.”


Standing just in front of the shocked blonde, the elderly woman took both of Kristen’s hands, “I never thought I’d see you again…Krissy.”


Confusion flashed through everyone’s faces, including Lei, as Kristen and Nanny Josie embraced. A few seconds after, realization, then shock replaced the confusion in Lei and all she was able to do was plop down on the couch without looking away at what was happening before her.




This brought everyone’s attention towards the brunette, including Kristen as she and the elderly woman ended the tight embrace.


“I didn’t… I had… I had no idea.”


Nanny Josie was smiling as she held Kristen’s hand and brought the girl closer to the still shocked brunette. “I didn’t think you’d find her this easily, Leila. But I knew better than underestimate you. Eighteen years taught me that.”


It was then that she turned to the blonde. “I think you both a have a lot to talk about.”


End of the first part of chapter six…

Chapter 9

Title: Chapter Six - Evaded Return part two

[Author's notes:

Second part of chappie six is now up for your reading pleasure...Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! They keep me going and this fic running.

So once again, please feed the review whore's ego, will yah?


Chapter Six – Evaded Return


They were both looking down, not knowing what to do or how to act around each other. The brunette sat awkwardly on the carpeted floor near the foot of her plush bed, opting to let the blonde girl settle more comfortably on the said furniture instead. She could have chosen to sit beside Kristen given the fact that the bed was large enough, but she figured that the extra distance between them would work better to alleviate the growing unease that was now very palpable.


Now if they could only just start with the conversation that had been years in the making, then things would be so much better.


Lei sighed for the nth time since they proceeded to ‘talk’ inside her room and she still refused to look up. Having a carpeted floor was proving to be more beneficial to her now since all she could do was trace the patterns with her eyes and figure out what intricate shapes were being formed.


She honestly had no idea how long they had been sitting there in those same positions but she knew that if they were ever going to have the talk, she was definitely not in the position to say the first word. She had all the explanations mapped out in her head and ready for use but she needed to hear the question come out of the blonde’s lips first.


Another sigh and she still could not get herself to look up and possibly get lost in those green depths.




And here it was. Lei swallowed and finally forced her head up to look at the blonde’s face. Kristen still refused to look at her, instead focusing on something – or nothing – other than her. The latter’s face was passive but her eyes were a myriad of emotions and all Lei wanted to do was embrace the girl and never let go.


However, she didn’t move even an inch from where she was and continued to listen intently.


“You promised, Lei. I believed you.”


Another sigh followed by a swallow. “I know.”


“It’s been years and we’re older now. I know I shouldn’t still hold this against you, but I really need to know why.”


“It’s complicated.”


“It always is till you try to explain it,” now emerald eyes gazed directly towards her and the brunette felt like she was baring her soul.


“I wanted to. I really wanted to write to you and see you again, Kristen. But there were things and situations and I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.”


There was a pause and then small smile grazed Kristen’s lips. “I never thought that my childhood best friend was the daughter of billionaires. I mean, you were always so active and hyper and just…”




“Yeah. And pretty much average…normal.”


Lei laughed slightly and she felt some of the awkwardness leave them. “Well, if I must tell you, I had no idea we were that rich either.”


The blonde’s eyebrows knit to show confusion before she spoke up, “Really? How come?”


“I told you before, we were always traveling. I wasn’t allowed to go out much and you were the only real friend I had back then. Do you think I’d wonder about money and wealth and all that when I didn’t even have the little things that I really wanted like playing with other kids my age?”


“So, when did you find out?”


“A few days before I was allowed to go to a regular school, my parents pretty much explained to me why we’re always staying at different places. I was eleven then and very happy when they told me that I wasn’t going to be home schooled any more and I could finally experience going to school like normal kids do.


Apparently, I found out that no matter how I try, I still won’t be as ‘normal’ as the others. I’m the daughter of two of the richest people on earth and I just spent eleven years running away because of a family slash business feud that actually threatened my life.”


Kristen bit her lower lip and nodded as she processed what was being revealed to her.


“I also found out that I was non-existent to the ‘elite’ society,” the brunette used her fingers to emphasize the word ‘elite’, “until my first day of school. And imagine my surprise to learn that my surname wasn’t just that – a name – but it was actually a status symbol.”


It was the blonde’s turn to speak up, “That’s a lot to take in for a fifth grader.”


“Sure was,” with this, Lei inched little nearer towards the blonde. “I wanted to write to you. I really did. You were my first friend and I wanted you to know how I was and I wanted to know how you were. I wanted to tell you everything, Kristen, but I can’t. I didn’t know it back then, but my parents forbid me from writing to you because they didn’t want you getting involved in the craziness and dangers that came with being friends with a Charles-Carlson. And after knowing about everything, my life just got crazier and crazier and…and I just…sort of…”




Hearing the hint of hurt in the blonde’s voice, Lei immediately took hold of Kristen’s right hand without a second thought and looked at the sparkling emerald orbs.


“No. Not forget, Kristen. I can never forget you.” The gentle shaking of the brunette’s head ceased and she let go of the soft hand after a squeeze. “Just… move on. I moved on, figuring you’d have done the same.”


Kristen gently stood up with a nod, “Okay. I get it,” a slight smile that seemed forced to Lei’s eyes, “Thank you for telling me.” With that, the blonde turned to leave the cozy room but before she even got to door, she felt a hand clasp her wrist and she stopped to look back.


“Let’s start again, Krissy. I’m here. You’re here. And I really am in need of a good friend in my life right now.” And the brunette pulled Kristen to a tight but gentle embrace.


The girl with emerald eyes settled her chin on the heiress shoulders and closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of being in the arms of her friend. “I missed you Leila.”


“I missed you too, you little crybaby.”


Then there was the playful slap on her back and Lei knew that everything was going to be alright.




She needed the nicotine inside her, along with all the other carcinogens because it was the only way she knew how to cope. She started the habit just to see what it felt like and she figured that she enjoyed the feel of smoky mint after just a few days. After she got kicked out of her parents’ house, she realized that the small white sticks became good companion. She was slowly killing herself without succumbing to suicide and her brother, who gladly allowed her to stay at his apartment after being kicked out himself, didn’t give a damn if her habit was slowly becoming an addiction as the days passed. Maybe it was because he was an even worse chain smoker than she was, or maybe he had problems of his own and her cigarette ‘breaks’ were the least of his concerns. As long as she bought her own pack and didn’t steal from his, then they were good.


Sven took a long drag off her third consecutive stick and watched the smoke she breathed out as it merged with the surroundings. She took solace in the serenity that came with her as she submerged into the pits of thinking. That was another thing she found out after smoking became a constant in her life. She could think clearly when she smoked and get lost in dreams and philosophies that she knew would never matter in real life.


Another drag and in her mind, she settled for having another stick after her current one before going inside the house and feeling the aura of drama that emanated around the house. After that very interesting, but uncomfortable revelation, she muttered some excuse about needing some air and she felt grateful for the presence of Julia. Only Julia understood her, or even cared to do so, and if not for her, Sven would have been a lost cause a long time ago.


Her brother and Julia were probably the only people in her life who actually cared enough to know whether she woke up the next day or not. But the latter was the only one who cared more to get past her barriers and actually get to know her. Her brother loved her in his own way, and she will always love him for giving her as close to a home as she could ever deserve to get. But their lives were both fucked up as is and she’d never allow her own personal demons to take over his life too.


Julia was different. She was a beautiful person, inside and out, and to this day, Sven couldn’t figure out why someone like Julia would want to have anything to do with her. But she needed a friend badly and the redhead was there so Sven knew better than to let heavenly gifts get away. She held on and she opened up enough to let the redhead in.


Sven knew that Julia was the only sane thing in her insane life and she’d do anything not to let her go, as long as the redhead still wanted her around. If ever the day came that Julia realized how utterly stupid of a decision it had been to be friends with her, then she’d accept it. It would probably kill her, but she’d accept it.


“Is that, what, like your tenth stick?”


Sven struggled to keep the growl from coming out as she faced the person she’d hope not to see for the rest of her life.


“What do you want, Barbie?”


The cheerleader scoffed, “Excuse me? Can’t you see that I’m not blonde?” Diane twirled a finger through her soft tresses.


The infamous Sven eyeroll, “Whatever. What are you doing here?”


“Hello! I’m a guest here too!”


Another eyeroll and Sven couldn’t help but think how stupid this conversation was.


“Not here in this house, I mean, here in my personal space. On my cigarette break.”


“You have a personal space now? What do you think of yourself, some kind of V.I.P?”


Now the growl came out. “What do you fucking want, bitch? I’m minding my own business so just leave me alone.”


“Oh my god! You’re a psycho,” the cheerleader managed to say with a look of disgust. “A chain smoking psycho loser. I don’t even know what you’re doing here, tagging along.”


And in the span of a few seconds, the bottle redhead was standing in front of the cheerleader, face mere inches away from Diane’s, with narrowed eyes that gleamed of anger. The head cheerleader’s eyes widened in shock and before she could push the other girl away, Sven gripped her shoulders tightly, preventing the brunette from putting more distance between their bodies.


“I know why I’m here, and that’s because I care about the GSA. I don’t know about you, you hypocrite. I don’t care if doing this raises your popularity and gives you more brownie points because I don’t fucking care about you. I don’t take crap from people and I certainly won’t take crap from you. Julia asked me to give you a chance but I won’t do that if you keep on being a stupid fucking bitch.”


Diane was definitely aware of how close they were to each other but the anger on Sven’s face was an indication that the bottle redhead probably wasn’t. The cheerleader wanted to give out a nasty comeback but something in her wouldn’t. She swallowed and felt her mouth going dry before closing her eyes to take a deep breath, the reason for doing so, she couldn’t understand.


“I…I don’t need to prove myself to you.”


Sven let go of the cheerleader’s shoulders, stepped back and spun around, her back now facing the brunette.


“I don’t care.”


The bottle redhead took out her lighter and another stick of cigarette from the pack placed on her pocket, lit the latter, and took a drag before looking at nothing in particular and blowing the smoke out.


“Julia asked for you,” Diane said before gradually walking away and muttered, “and you smell like cigarettes,” in a soft voice that she doubted the other girl heard.


End of Chapter Six.







Coming Soon on Of Tears And Broken Hearts:


And immediately, something at the back of her mind screamed how wrong this whole thing was. The heiress was hurting, and everything was happening all too fast, on an impulsive whim mostly on the brunette’s part. She had to stop this before things got any more complicated.




Julia scooted closer and ran her fingers through one of the red streaks on her friend’s hair, “Trust me, you won’t.”




Kristen blinked. “Are…are you asking me out on a date?”


Chapter 10

Title: Chapter Seven - Weighing The Worth

[Author's notes:

Hmmm…A little background and history…A little preview to what the main characters are thinking… and a definite bridge to all the craziness… This chapter serves as preparation for the things to come.


Chapter Seven – Weighing The Worth

Can I stay here…just for a few days?”

Several hours ago, Lei would have never thought that she’d be standing here, a duffel bag in hand, looking disheveled and undoubtedly exhausted. Her eyes screamed of pain and their red-rimmed appearance was an obvious indication of what she’d been doing as she sat in silence during the plane ride she had been adamant on getting, even going to the point of using her last name – something she absolutely despised doing – as a last resort to get what she desperately needed.

The person on the other side of the now wide open door was undoubtedly gorgeous, with her wavy blonde hair and the perfect angle of her face. It was safe to assume that this persona broke hearts and she knew how to do it wisely. Of course, it was even safer to assume that her face had been gracing billboards and magazines for quite sometime now, not to mention her constant appearance in certain famed catwalks.

Lei?! Of course, come in…”

The beautiful blonde ushered the scruffy brunette inside a luxurious condo unit and the latter, after putting down her bag, immediately headed for the couch and sat down, hands rubbing her face.

Concern etched over the blonde’s face as she sat down beside the billionaire heiress and rubbed the brunette’s back in gentle strokes.

Do you need anything to drink, hon? I have beer, wine, vodka –”

Just water, please Sar.”

With a slight nod, the other girl, wearing an oversized jersey that reached her upper thighs, stood up barefooted and headed for the kitchen, taking out a bottled mineral water from the fridge. She came back to the living room and she saw the brunette still on the couch, now hunched over with a hand on her forehead.

Sarah sat once more beside the tired brunette and gave the latter her bottle of water, while absently stroking soft brown hair. Lei took a large gulp but continued looking down on the floor, a hand now massaging the area between her eyes.

Lei, what happened?”

There was silence for a while, but after the blonde gently squeezed Lei’s shoulder, the brunette finally let out a weary sigh.


What about Audrey?”

We broke up.” Then a shake of her head, and Lei looked up at concerned brown eyes and gave a pained smile. “No, I broke up with her.”

Sarah’s eyes widened, not in shock but in disbelief.

What? You catch a last-minute flight back home just so you could be with her on your birthday, and you’re here telling me that you, what, broke up with the girl you told me, and I quote, ‘you want to spend the rest of your life with’?”

A long dragged-out sigh, and Lei was now looking down, even though she was still facing the gorgeous blonde. “Happy birthday to me.”

Then the tears just came, even with Lei silently screaming inside for them not to. They kept coming and flowing and the struggle to keep them at bay became a losing battle. Or maybe she just didn’t have the strength to keep fighting any more.

No sooner than the tears fell from her eyes, Lei felt herself being engulfed in a comforting embrace and she just clung onto the human contact for support. The sobs came then, but the warm feeling of another person holding her kept her from completely breaking down.

Sarah, on the other hand, had never seen Lei in this manner before. It felt different, holding a vulnerable Leila Charles-Carlson, now crying in her arms. Lei, from the moment Sarah met the young woman, had always been strong, exuding the undeniable aura of confidence that only a Charles-Carlson could bear.

Lei was always on the top of her game. As young as she was, Lei had been confident and independent, sure of herself and her beliefs.

That was what endeared Sarah to the heiress. That was also the reason why she didn’t try to hide her irrefutable attraction towards the brunette.

She was turned down, of course. Lei had been head over heels in love with a raven-haired girl, also from a wealthy family, but not one as affluent as the Charles-Carlson’s, although definitely as controversial. Sarah may be an internationally-acclaimed model, being the face of various famous magazines and world-renown brands (including the CC empire), but she was still a self-made model of no elitist background. She was also a few years older than the brunette, but she doubted that really mattered anyhow.

Now, holding the once-thought unbreakable young woman, Sarah was reminded that Lei was still a human being, susceptible to pain. She held the brunette tightly and whispered soothingly.

Let it out, baby. Don’t hold it back.”

And at that moment, the heiress pulled back and tear-filled eyes stared at equally blue ones.

Almost instantly, Lei’s face leaned closer to the other’s and soon, the brunette was kissing the model with as much fervor as she can muster.

Sarah had not been able to register what the brunette was doing at first, but soon enough, she felt herself being pushed back on the soft couch, Lei’s lips on her own. And immediately, something at the back of her mind screamed how wrong this whole thing was. The heiress was hurting, and everything was happening all too fast, on an impulsive whim mostly on the brunette’s part. She had to stop this before things got any more complicated.

And then she felt those lips on hers…those lips that she had been dreaming of kissing for a while now. Finally, she did the only thing she could possibly do in this circumstance.

She kissed Lei back.


The redhead didn’t bother knocking as she opened the door to her friend’s room and stepped inside with a huge smile. She saw Sven, hair now dyed a dark black with two red streaks to the front, plucking the strings of her acoustic guitar with eyes closed.

“The poster designs are on the desk,” Sven said without missing a chord as she continued making music with her instrument. It was her task to make the designs for the GSA party posters that would be shown all over campus.

“I’ll get them before I go,” Julia sat beside her friend on the bed. “How’re practices going?”

The now dark-haired girl halted her ministrations on the guitar, stood up, placed the said instrument on top of the nearby desk, and bent down to a guitar case laying a few paces away. She gently took out the bass guitar from its case and once again sat down on the bed.

Sven looked at her friend and shrugged, “I don’t know. It’s hard enough just being in my brother’s band, but now I have to do vocals too.”

“What’s so hard about being in Chris’s band?”

“You know my brother. He’s all about the band and the music. I’m just worried I won’t be up to his expectations.”

It had been a few days that they’ve all been busy preparing for the GSA party and when Julia suggested that Sven’s brother’s band should play, her friend didn’t waste a second to ask Chris immediately. As it turned out, he told them that their band’s vocalist left them hanging after a sudden decision to elope with a long-time girlfriend and according to Chris, he could be “somewhere around the globe by now, for all I care”.

With this came the sudden offer that Sven would make a good vocalist and that having a girl sing their songs, which was originally made for a guy, would be interestingly different. Sven, albeit being hesitant, couldn’t possibly say no to her brother and thus, Julia instantly decided that her friend be relieved of all GSA duties at the moment – but Sven immediately insisted that she would still do the poster designs – and focus first on practicing with her brother and the other band members so that they can still play on the night of the party.

“I’ve never been in a band before, Jules. And Chris, he’s always been a band guy. I can’t remember a time when he wasn’t obsessed with his music.”

“You’ll do great –”

“Now, I have to do vocals. I don’t do vocals,” Sven continued, ignoring her friend’s attempt at calming her down, “I play the guitar and the bass, yes, but I don’t do vocals.”

“Sven,” interrupted Julia, gently kneading the dark-haired girl’s shoulder, “you have a great voice, a good ear for music, and do you honestly think you’re brother would offer you the position if he didn’t know you’d be great in it?”

“I don’t know, maybe he was desperate?”

The redhead scoffed, “Give Chris more credit than that, will yah?”

Sven nodded, “Okay, okay, fine. I just don’t want to disappoint him.”

Julia scooted closer and ran her fingers through one of the red streaks on her friend’s hair, “Trust me, you won’t.”


The brunette was staring at the ceiling, holding the cordless phone with a tentative grip. Every now and then, she would look at what she held, contemplate for a while, and then go back to staring at the ceiling. Ever since Nanny Josie came to visit her a few days back, she found herself thinking more about home and what she left behind, and some of the memories that came with these thoughts couldn’t exactly be categorized under happy…or even tolerably so. As she lay on her bed, Lei’s thoughts flew everywhere and some of the destinations they were taking did not bode well for her.

This was what concerned Lei the most when she decided to start anew in the suburbs. She knew that going to another school would mean making new friends and having to figure out what to do with her sort-of new life. She was well aware that wherever she went, she would always carry the priceless family name, and being a Charles-Carlson has always meant complications for her. She never had the luxury of easily trusting other people because most of them never saw her for who she really was.

That was what made friendships and relationships seem like such burden for her sometimes. There was this constant paranoia that people only stuck by her because she was ‘the heiress’. Of course, that was also the reason why she became distant and closed-off.

And the air of detachment she exuded made people all the more want to get closer to her. It was ironic how she wanted to be left alone and yet, they only saw this as more of an invitation to try to get inside of her. They liked the mystery, they said. She hated the attention. She hated their unwanted attention.

But after a while, Lei learned to play the game. At a young age, she figured out that being the CC heiress didn’t have to weigh her down. On the contrary, it was supposed to be the other way around.

That was when the flings came. The meaningless make-out sessions, the countless rendezvous, the fake smiles, the flirtations. At the same time, she was also starting to figure out her preferences.

And when she finally accepted that she didn’t like kissing boys as much as she enjoyed making out with girls, more attention came. Guys wanted to make her change her mind, and girls…well, it seemed like the girls were always around.

But then, she met her…and everything changed.

Lei shook her head. She didn’t like where these thoughts were heading and she definitely had to do something before her thoughts started wandering again.

She looked at the cordless phone for a while, moved to take out a folded paper from the desk drawer close to her bed, and then dialed the numbers that were imprinted on the paper. After mere seconds, she heard the ring and then a feminine voice answering the phone.


“Hi, is this Kristen?”

“Yes, who is this?”


“Lei?” There was a slight pause, “Hi. Why’d you call?”

“Well, I’ve just finished calling the guys that would help us with the sound system and I’ve also talked to the DJ that we’ll be hiring for the party. So far, we’re almost done with the preparations, and come Friday, we’ll be on a roll.”

“That’s great.”

Lei nodded with a smile, “Yeah. Everything’s all set and to tell you honestly, I have nothing to do now. It’s just…” she looked at the clock hanging on the wall, “6:18, way too early for sleep, and I don’t really feel like surfing the net or watching re-runs. Do you have plans for tonight?”

“Not really…”

“Well, if you like, we can go out to watch a movie and then maybe grab something to eat?”

Kristen blinked. “Are…are you asking me out on a date?”


The blonde’s eyes widened as she heard the unwavering response from the other line, “W-what?”

Lei laughed out loud. “I swear you are way too easy, Krissy!”

Kristen blushed as she clutched the phone harder, all the while listening to the laughter coming from her brunette friend. “You’re mean; don’t you know that, Lei?”

The laughter subsided but the grin never left the brunette’s face, “Seriously though. You want to watch a movie with me? I’ve read rave reviews on Superman Returns. “ Lei shook her head as the smile widened, “And no, I am not asking you out on a date, Krissy. To tell you honestly, I’m not in the right frame of mind to date anyone anytime soon. Besides, I don’t date straight girls.”

“And you just assumed I’m straight because…?”

“Well, aren’t you?”

“I am straight –“

“See? So, I’m not assuming because you are straight. And I’m also not asking you out on a date because I don’t date straight girls. So what do you say? You can ogle Superman while I ogle Lois Lane and then we can eat dinner and catch up on things. How about that?”

She’s irritating in a really not so irritating kind of way. Kristen sighed. “Fine.”

“Great! So, I’ll pick you up in half an hour?”


“Aren’t you concerned that some people might trash Lei’s house on the party?” Sven looked at the redhead as they now both lay on the bed.

“I don’t think anyone would dare. This is Leila Charles-Carlson we’re talking about here. No one would be stupid enough to be on her bad side.”

The dark-haired girl nodded slightly and closed her eyes. Julia looked at her friend’s slightly serene face.


Sven opened her eyes and looked at Julia with question being expressed in her chocolate brown eyes.

“How’re things with Jamie? I mean, is it weird? Your being in the band and all?”

“Not really,” Sven shrugged, “What we had was a one-shot thing and we both knew it, so the past has nothing to do with me being in the band now. She still flirts with me but everybody knows Jamie’s an insufferable flirt so, it’s really nothing.”

“Chris knows something happened between you two last year, right?”

The dark-haired girl nodded, “He doesn’t have an issue with it. As long as Jamie sticks to her guitar and I do well on the vocals, then he doesn’t care whether we screw each other’s brains out. Not that we’re going to do that…again…ever.”

The silence that permeated the room for a few moments was shattered by Julia’s soft voice, “Don’t you ever wonder what it would be like to actually be in a relationship, Sven? No goofing around, no one-time deals…”

“Of course I do. And I don’t like it. No attachment, no one gets hurt. That’s the way I want it to go.”

The redhead’s eyes narrowed in thought and Sven saw this.

“And no, Jules,” Julia turned to look at her friend, “I have a pretty good idea of what you’re thinking and I still say no. You are just too special and you don’t deserve meaningless one-night stands with people you hardly know.”

“Sven, how sure are you that what you’re doing isn’t what I also want?” asked the redhead defiantly.

“I may not be you, and I may not exactly know what you’re thinking and how you feel, but I’m still your best friend, Julia. I care about you a lot and I know that you deserve more than what I’ve got right now. You deserve the hand-holding and the PDA and the anniversaries, and the Valentine’s Day dinners. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be with someone who will love you back and not leave you in the morning after.”

“And you don’t?”

Sven shook her head with a ghost of a smile, “I’m not you Julia. There are a lot of things in life I don’t deserve.” Your friendship, included.


They were both sitting comfortably on a park bench with their ice cream, looking at nothing in particular. After watching a movie, they ate pizza for dinner and Lei’s pouting eventually led them both to an ice cream parlor.

Which was why they were now both in the park, Lei’s convertible parked a few blocks away, enjoying the comfort of silence and each other’s presence.

“This is nice,” Lei looked at her blonde friend with a genuine smile. After biting a small piece off her cone, she looked back at the blonde who was also looking at her. “I’m enjoying every moment of this, you know?”

“Me too.”

Lei’s sigh was long and heavy. “Everything in my life has been a wreck for a while now. This, being here with you… it’s a nice change.”

“When we were talking on the phone,” Kristen spoke up after another silence between them, “you said that you’re not in the right frame of mind to date right now.” Upon hearing this, Lei looked at the blonde with a blank expression on her face. “Why? I mean, if it’s not too personal..?”

The brunette looked down and sighed. Kristen saw this and frowned, placing her hand on the other girl’s shoulder and squeezed tenderly. “You don’t have to answer that. Just forget I asked anything.”

Lei shook her head, still facing downward. “I’m really a mess, you know? If you saw me a few months ago, what I’m feeling right now would be the exact opposite.”

Another brief silence as Lei braced herself to talk about the things that she hated even thinking about.

“Just weeks ago… I… I broke up with someone that I was really, really in love with. Actually, I still am.”

Kristen just looked at the other girl with her hand now placed on Lei’s back, making soothing circles and eights. The blonde didn’t dare say anything and just waited for the heiress to open up on her own pace.

“I was in Paris for a week, doing a favor for a friend. And then my birthday was coming up and I didn’t want to spend my birthday without the most important girl in my life,” there was a hollow laugh, the kind that made Kristen’s insides turn cold. The pain inside Lei was undeniable. “Funny how I rushed back home on a last-minute plane ride just to find my… ex-girlfriend… in bed, naked, with my best friend, who’s a guy, by the way.”

The blonde didn’t know what to say. And Lei didn’t give her a chance to say anything at all as the words kept on flowing out.

“I mean, it was my birthday. It was supposed to be a happy day, and I wanted to spend it with the one person I thought I could be with forever, you know?” She looked at Kristen. “And I was thinking forever. Not months or years. I’m stupid like that…”

“No, Lei –”

“I knew there was a party. Audrey told me that she was going to have a party, and then when I come back, we’re going to spend my birthday together. And my stupid love-sick self can’t wait to spend the day with her so I went straight to her house and I had no idea what was going on, and I just… I just…”

Lei’s eyes were shut tightly, and Kristen knew the brunette was struggling to hold back the tears. Now, the blonde understood. Lei wouldn’t have transferred without a reason and now, Kristen knew that that reason was to escape. It was obvious that this was something the brunette could not handle, and she just had to go away.

Lei allowed herself to be pulled into the blonde’s calming embrace, successfully fighting off the tears from flowing. She felt safe and cared for, and the feeling of being in Kristen’s arms gave her tranquility. The brunette never thought she would be able to open up to a person this easily, and especially one that she technically had not known for quite some time.

But this, with Kristen, was bliss…one that she had not felt for a while.

End of Chapter Seven.

Coming soon on Of Tears and Broken Hearts:

The blonde looked at her friend incredulously. “I do date!”

Yeah? Well, when was the last time you had a boyfriend, huh?”

Last year.”

Diane smiled. “My point exactly.”


The cheerleader sighed as she swept her gaze over the people who have already decided to graze the dance floor with their presence.

“I know… I mean, I don’t know why I’m acting like this.” And with that, Diane’s eyes were drawn towards something at the bands’ area, but she caught herself and just as quickly averted her gaze.


It was undeniable.

Those were raven locks she’d been trying to forget but kept seeing, especially as she closed her eyes before sleeping at night.

She wanted to run away.

Her feet were rooted to the ground.


Chapter 11

Title: Chapter Eight - Ashes, Ashes

[Author's notes:

Chapter eight part one is here. I originally intended for this to be posted as one long part but things don’t usually turn out the way you want it to. So, a two-parter and here’s the first.


Tell me why you think the Chapter Title is Ashes, Ashes… and if anyone gets it correctly, you’ll get a prize… I don’t know what yet. A cookie maybe? Two chapters in one update? Who knows?


Chapter Eight – Ashes, Ashes

Diane was looking at her blonde friend with a playful smile on her face.

I wonder what poor Brad must be thinking right now. Getting rejected and all,” the cheerleader looked at her friend with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes.

Most likely who his next conquest would be, since I didn’t give him that opportunity,” Kristen tugged at her shoulder bag self-consciously, trying to forget what she had just done a few minutes ago when she had blatantly rejected the jock’s advances.

Diane chuckled. She knew that the blonde was going to do just what she did and she told the varsity star off to spare his feelings when she heard a rumor that he had his eyes on Kristen for some time already. Her gentle warning didn’t phase his determination though and Diane knew that Brad justly deserved the rejection for being so egotistic. “But Bradley was such a nice guy,” the cheerleader cooed, earning her a playful slap from her friend and they both laughed.

You know as much as I do how nice he could be…when he’s trying to get into your pants.”

Another laughter before Diane spoke up, “It was better that you rejected him though. Telling you honestly? He’s not that good in bed.”

Kristen looked at her friend in mock disgust, “That’s really something I think I don’t need to know.”

You mean, you don’t need to know how huge his –”

Oh my god! You are so not going to continue that statement.”

“ – muscles are?” Diane teased and she didn’t contain the laughter that erupted when she saw the look on her friend’s face. “He is the star basketball player, so obviously they’re huge. Believe me; I have first-hand information, after all.”

The blonde shook her head. “I don’t really have interest in knowing how huge anything of Brad’s is. And can we please stop talking about your history with him?”

Sure, I think that’s actually a great idea.”

Thank you.” Kristen’s face showed the relief she felt upon knowing that she’d be reprieved off her the brunette cheerleader’s teasing.

Diane looked at her friend as they walked to her car. They were going on a shopping spree that afternoon and they both opted that they’d use Diane’s car to the mall. As they neared Diane’s Porsche, the cheerleader fished for the keys from her purse, clicked the key, and she headed for the driver’s side while the blonde went for the passenger’s side.

So, in the past two months,” the cheerleader said as she started the car’s engine, “you’ve what? Turned down three guys already? And a few others before that too.” The cheerleader maneuvered her car out of the school’s parking lot and soon they were speeding up, the mall their main destination. “I mean, I get why you would turn down an ass like Brad, because hello! I have personal experience in that area. But the others…Well, they’re pretty decent enough guys, Kristen.”

The blonde looked at her friend, “Unlike you, I don’t have the time to date. I have a lot of things to focus on like the student government, and you know how busy things could be when we plan all the activities. Plus, there’s the school paper now too,” the blonde sighed. “Besides, you know what I’m looking for, Diane.”

The head cheerleader looked at her friend briefly before looking once again out towards the open road, “I know. I know. You’re looking for The One. Mr. Right.”

Yes,” Kristen nodded. “And I don’t think they’re it, you know?”

How will you ever find Mr. Right when you don’t even look for Mr. Right Now? You don’t even date, Kristen.”

The blonde looked at her friend incredulously. “I do date!”

Yeah? Well, when was the last time you had a boyfriend, huh?”

Last year.”

Diane smiled. “My point exactly.”

The blonde huffed. “Fine! Just because you’re my best friend and you change boyfriends like you change clothes doesn’t mean I have to be that way too, you know?”

Whatever you say, my dear virginal best friend. I’m the head cheerleader. I have a reputation to maintain,” responded the cheerleader with a grin. “And I’m not telling you to date guys the way I do. I’m just telling you to date, you know, once in a while. Give these guys a chance.”

I already told you, things could get busy sometimes.”

Sure, Kristen,” the cheerleader said, oozing with unhidden sarcasm.

I’ll go out with a guy when I feel like it,” the blonde said in finality, signaling the end of the argument. “And it probably won’t happen anytime soon.”


It was a good hour before the Gay Straight Alliance acquaintance party would officially start and yet people had already begun coming in hordes. It was no doubt that the talk on campus for the past week had been the said party and everyone seemed eager to go even just to have a taste of what it felt like to be inside the ‘heiress’ house. The aura of excitement emanated in the air, and the organizers of the party were nothing less than hopeful that the event would be a success.

What used to be the living room inside Lei’s house was now a miniature club, with all the works like a band stage and a DJ’s booth. Every person entering looked on in awe while bobbing their head to the music that now played in full blast all around the house. A few paces away from the kitchen stood the hired bartender behind the bar – something that was already a part of the house to begin with – and he had already started serving a few mild drinks to the teenagers, courtesy of Lei’s own instructions that the alcoholic beverages would definitely be present in the party, however they were to be served moderately and the known hard liquors would only be given out at the latter part of the night.

The bands that were going to play for the night were already near the stage, fumbling with their instruments or talking to each other. Some of the bands’ members were college students, others just coming from the neighborhood, but most were students of Wright-Duncan so it seemed like the whole getting to know each other was coming along easily.

Sven, however, opted to just sit alone in a corner with eyes closed, immersing herself to the music that blared from her headphones. She felt the presence of another person approaching her but she didn’t mind it. Instead, she even closed her eyes and continued getting lost in the song she was listening to.

The moment she felt soft lips press against her own, her eyes immediately opened in surprise and she took off the headphones. It didn’t take long for her to recognize the beautiful features and the smiling face of her bandmate.

“You’re so cute when you go all broody and emo,” the other girl’s grin widened at Sven’s raised eyebrow.

“Kinda defeats the purpose, don’t you think?”

“I don’t care. I like it when you’re looking all cute,” Jamie looked up, as if pretending to think, “and broody and emo and hot…and especially when you’re on singer mode. Turns me on.”

Looking intently at Sven’s brown eyes and then her lips, Jamie leaned in. The dark-haired girl instantly held onto her bandmate’s shoulders to keep the girl from going any further.

“Jamie, what are you doing?”

“Trying to kiss you?” Jamie said with a frown.


“Because I want to. And if the amazing sex we had last year was any indication, I know you want it too,” and Jamie tried to lean once more but Sven maintained the firm hold on the girl’s shoulders.

“I don’t want to make out with you, Jamie. And I’m not going to sleep with you again,” the dark-haired girl shook her head.

Jamie pouted, “Are you sure about that? I can change your mind…”

“I’m in the band now. Sleeping with you will be…complicated.”

The other girl’s pout turned into a devious smirk. “But it’ll be fun.” And Jamie waggled her eyebrows for added effect.

Upon seeing her bandmate’s silly antics, Sven couldn’t help but smile a little. Jamie saw this and realized that this was finally her chance. She leaned in with force and nibbled the dark-haired girl’s lower lip, her hand finding its way to the other’s neck. Sven stiffened for a while, caught in surprise, but after a moment, her primal urge won over and she kissed the other girl back. Tongues dueled in a passionate kiss until finally, Jamie pulled back, breathing heavily, and her fingers raked through the other’s hair.

“Tell me when you’ve changed your mind. I have a bigger bed now.” Another brief kiss and with that, Sven could do nothing but watch her bandmate walk away.

Just then, she saw her redheaded friend approach, a cup in one hand and a teasing smirk on her face. When Julia finally reached her, Sven took the plastic cup obviously filled with some kind of alcoholic beverage that was being offered to her.

“So, is that what you meant with not screwing her brains out, again, ever?”

The dark-haired girl rolled her eyes as Julia laughed.

“Are you done making fun of me? Coz if you are, then I’m going to tell you again,” even though Julia tried to contain herself, her eyes still shone of amusement, much to Sven’s dismay. “There will be no screwing of brains, or sleeping around, or anything that has to do with Jamie and me and a bed. Again. Ever.”

“Well, it doesn’t have to be a bed, Sven. The couch in your house is pretty soft.”

Sven grunted and Julia just had to laugh at that.


The blonde student council officer looked at her frantic cheerleader friend going about Lei’s house, making sure everything was perfect in that panicking way that was absolutely hilarious, if not for the fact that she was aware how serious Diane was with making the party an enormous success. It would seem normal to any outsider that the cheerleader was nervous because anyone would be if they were assigned the task of organizing the much talked about GSA party. But Kristen had known her best friend for years and if there were two things she knew, they were these:

Diane wasn’t just anyone.

And the cheerleader rarely gets nervous. Never over a party, no matter how huge it was.

So, it concerned Kristen when her friend kept going around checking everything out without even stopping to catch her breath.

There was also something the blonde noticed and that was the fact that her brunette best friend never, not even once, went near the area where the bands were currently situated. It was bizarre that Diane would avoid the bands’ area since if there was something worth inspecting in the GSA party, the bands and the live music would be on top of the list.

The blonde decided to approach her friend, if not to ask about what’s bothering the cheerleader, then to at least lend a helping hand…and a comforting aura.

So she did just that.

“I’m telling you, no hard drinks this early in the party. I don’t want people throwing their insides out in the middle of the fun! God, where’s Lei?!” The cheerleader exclaimed after having a fit with the bartender, now looking at her in annoyance.

Kristen placed a soothing hand on her friend’s shoulder and in turn, the brunette whirled around to face her.

“Kristen, I’m going crazy!”

“Relax, Diane. Everything’s perfect.”

“How can you say that?! People are coming here already and the first band’s going to perform soon and I want everything to be perfect, but things are definitely NOT going perfect.”

“Look Diane,” and the blonde pointed to the living room turned dance floor that was now crowding up real fast, “people are having fun. No need to panic and get all nervous.” The blonde looked at her friend earnestly. “And this isn’t like you. You never panic over a simple party.”

“This isn’t just a simple party, Kristen. It’s a party at Lei’s house and I’m organizing it.”

“All the more reason for you not to panic. Things are great!”

The cheerleader sighed as she swept her gaze over the people who have already decided to graze the dance floor with their presence.

“I know… I mean, I don’t know why I’m acting like this.” And with that, Diane’s eyes were drawn towards something at the bands’ area, but she caught herself and just as quickly averted her gaze. Thankfully, Kristen didn’t seem to notice this slight grab of attention on the cheerleader’s part.

“Look, just calm down, relax, and have fun,” smiled the student council officer. “You’ve been worrying too much these past few days.”

“Okay, I’ll just…get a drink or something.”


End of Chapter Eight part one.

Chapter 12

Title: Chapter Eight - Ashes, Ashes part two

[Author's notes:

Here’s the second part of chapter eight…FINALLY!!! A HUGE shout out to my AMAZING, TALENTED BETA, ORANGE!!! She’s the greatest. She really is.

Answer to “Why Ashes, Ashes?” is because this is the chapter where “all falls down”…so chapter name was derived from the nursery rhyme where these lines are found… Want to know why I think things fall apart here? READ AHEAD.


Chapter Eight – Ashes, Ashes

It felt different, performing in front of a crowd of people she saw almost everyday and yet knowing that they were seeing her in a different light. Some of these people never knew she existed, and some of them even went out of their way to ignore her existence. Yet here they were now, watching her intently and for once in her life, Sven felt…alive.

I’m falling down and I don’t know

How to get up again

The moment the first words to the song came out of her lips, Sven knew that she had fallen into the strangest enchantment. She never once thought that she would sing for a band, much less her brother’s own band, and share her voice to people she thought could care less. Yet this, what she was feeling at the moment, felt absolutely right. Sven felt like this was what she was meant to do.

I can feel your touch

All over my skin

She closed her eyes and let the song take over her. It seemed as if she was listening to a totally different person put melody and words into this play of emotions, yet she knew that she was the one with the mic. She was the one everyone else in the house listened to. She was the one who practiced with her other band mates every night for the past week. She was the vocalist of the band.

She was the one singing the song.

I refuse to look back

But the headlights are blinding me now

Slowly, Sven’s eyes opened and she found herself enamored by a pair of intense pea green eyes staring straightly back at her own chocolate brown orbs. Her heart started pounding in her chest, and whether it was because of the song or because of the ongoing battle of gazes, she could not tell anymore.

If I don’t run away

I know I’ll be caught up in your web

But somehow


The moment Diane heard the raspy alto coming from the speakers, she found her eyes immediately wandering to the stage. Her hands still held the cup half-filled with vodka, her fourth that night, and ever since the bands started playing during the party, she had already immersed herself into her drinks, trying to ignore whatever it was that made her ill at ease. Diane was no stranger to the feeling of uneasiness and that nagging discomfort had been following her for some time now. Ever since...ever since that time.

The song kept going on and that voice…it was surprisingly good. Not too fluid, but also not too rough. Low and husky, yet still feminine.



No matter how much she wanted to listen to the loud alarms ringing – exploding – in her head, no matter how much she wanted to listen to the frantic screaming voice at the back of her head, she just couldn’t.

Diane couldn’t get herself to look away. She held onto that wonderful melody and watched that indifferent face, eyes closed and seemingly at peace. She felt like a voyeur but she couldn’t help herself. She was entranced.

There was a warmth and vulnerability in Sven’s face that she had never seen before.

I can’t let go of this

Deeper and deeper

And the passion, the raw emotion in Sven’s eyes took the cheerleader aback as their gazes met, but still, she was unable to look away. It was as if there was a gossamer yet strong thread that bound her on the spot. Diane felt helpless.

But now, the discomfort was gone.

I long to see your face

When I wake up in the morning

And before I close my eyes at night

And then, just like that, the dark-haired girl looked away and the cheerleader felt the connection come to an abrupt end.


Sven’s band’s performance went on for another four songs before Julia announced that there would be a few more dances, care of the hired DJ, before the next band went on stage. At this point, the dance floor was once again crowded with overly eager teenagers who were dancing either in groups or in pairs, obviously having as much fun as they can get, which really was quite a lot.

As the first notes of an upbeat song came up, Lei good-naturedly pulled Julia to the dance floor as they started dancing with each other, smiles on their faces and obviously having a wonderful time. Kristen was watching the two of them from the sidelines since she wasn’t much of a dancer herself and even though she wasn’t directly involved in all the action, she couldn’t deny the fact that she was also having fun.

It was amazing how Lei seemed so carefree yet still give off an air of superiority, as if constantly reminding everyone who she really was. One of the organizers of the party. The owner of the house.

Famous heiress of the Charles-Carlson empire.

As the blonde student council officer watched her brunette friend dance with grace, she realized that it was so easy to get lost in those wily charms but just as easy to get intimidated by them. She couldn’t even believe this was the same girl she ate pancakes with and chased around all those years ago. Lei wasn’t the same Leila who hugged her like there was no tomorrow and smiled at her with the innocence of a little child. That same innocence was now replaced by a certain level of maturity and unquestionable confidence.

Kristen looked on as a few others flocked towards the two dancing women and soon enough, their partnership was turned into group dancing. Lei’s dance never faltered for a moment, even as some of the newly joined dancers in their group paid more attention to her. Some even so much as tried salaciously to cajole her into a more intimate setting, yet Lei’s refusal was smooth and charming. It would still be believable if they didn’t even realize that they were already being refused the chance to dance closely with the charismatic brunette.

Somewhere in the middle of all the dancing, Lei looked to her blonde friend, a huge grin on her face as their eyes met. The brunette then whispered something to her redheaded companion and in an instant, she was heading towards where Kristen was.

Standing before the blonde now, Lei took Kristen’s hand and pulled the latter towards her without a moment’s hesitation.

“What are you doing here? Come on and dance with us!”

Kristen looked at the brunette realizing that Lei’s charms were now at their all-time high. Tempting, really. But not tempting nor charming enough.

“I’m not much of a dancer, Lei.”

The brunette pouted as she tilted her head to the side. “Awww, Kristen! You can’t possibly suck that bad!” A gentle tug. “Dance with us. It’ll be fun!”

The beat of the loud music pulsed in the background. Kristen just smiled.

“You’re already having enough fun for the both of us.”

“There’s no such thing as enough fun, Krissy. Come on!” Another tug.


“Please,” and more of the pout.

The blonde sighed in defeat. “Fine.”

Lei’s face broke out in an enormous grin, wider than what she sported just a few moments back – if that was even possible. “Awesome!”

Try as she might, Kristen couldn’t contain her own smile as she was gently but eagerly pulled to where the dancing was at.

Guess she really is charming enough.


She still felt buzzed, and it was of a different kind because she knew for sure that she had not had that much to drink yet and she hadn’t smoked any joint at all that day, or even the week for that matter. She never once thought that singing for a crowd would have this much effect on her but apparently, she was mistaken. It was like a pleasant adrenaline rush. Finally, she could understand her brother’s obsession with the band. If this was how it felt like to truly perform, then she bet she’d be obsessed in no time.

She wanted to share the strange happiness she felt. She needed to.

Looking around at the crowded area, she scanned the place for her best friend. Sven knew that if she didn’t tell Julia anything soon, she’s surely bound to explode.

And then the grin that seemed to be permanently stuck to her face – the one she didn’t know could even be that huge – immediately faded. Seeing Julia dancing so close to the house’s owner, with that adorable smile on her face, Sven felt like choking. The dark-haired girl knew that it probably didn’t mean anything to either of the two girls dancing but she still couldn’t help the slight tightening of her chest at the sight.

Sven looked away and headed for the door towards the backyard. Maybe all she really needed was a cigarette.

Or five.


Lei heard the whisper but all she could do was nod and smile. Julia just told her that the song playing in the background would be the last before the next band went on stage, but at the moment, the brunette could care less. She didn’t care much for anything except probably savoring the good time she was having that she had not had in a while. The fact that the pretty blonde girl she was dancing with was having as much fun as her could somehow be considered the cause of it.

But she knew for sure that it wasn’t just that. There was something else that she couldn’t be bothered to think about. Besides, thinking only made things more complicated. And any more form of complication was the last thing she needed in her life.

The song was coming to a gradual end when she heard Julia’s voice announcing the live performance of the next band which, according to the head of the GSA, was apparently made up of members that all went to Wright-Duncan. It was during the loud cheers and applause that she saw the one thing she didn’t think she’d see for quite some time.

The one thing she knew she wasn’t ready to see for quite some time.

The one thing she hoped would only be an illusion, a figment of her imagination that was constant proof of how much she still thought of things she didn’t want to think about.

It was undeniable.

Those were raven locks she’d been trying to forget but kept seeing, especially as she closed her eyes before sleeping at night.

She wanted to run away.

Her feet were rooted to the ground.



Diane felt as if she had to be there for the party, doing her part as an organizer, and she figured she probably should too. But for the first time in her life’s history of social parties and school activities she absolutely ought to be a part of just because she was popular and the head cheerleader to boot, she really didn’t want to. All she wanted was to sip vodka from her cup, be alone, and hopefully figure things out.

If that wasn’t cause for alarm in her head, she didn’t know what was.

The fact that she was actually leaving the party, where all the action was at, to do what she felt like doing despite all social repercussions just had to prove how much in deep shit she was. Plus, she didn’t even have a cup of vodka.

The backyard was pretty deserted except for a couple making out near the poolside and a passed out jock. Diane scoffed. She couldn’t understand how people insisted on drinking if they can’t hold their liquor. She really hoped Lei was going to figure out a way of embarrassing said dumb jock come Monday.

And then she saw her: dyed black hair, red streaks, familiar scowl. Alone, except for the company of ever-present cigarettes.

For a moment, Diane considered heading back where she came from.

But maybe it was the vodka’s fault, because she instead headed towards where the other girl was.

Sven saw her approach. Eyes rolled, scowl deepened, a puff of smoke released, and the cheerleader knew this wasn’t such a good idea but it seemed as if she couldn’t do anything else.

It was all the vodka’s fault, for sure.

“You were good,” Diane had no idea why she just initiated conversation with Sven, let alone sit beside her. “I didn’t think you could sing that well.”

Her efforts were met with another puff of smoke and a deep drag.

“I mean, I knew you could play the guitar because your punk friend mentioned it once but I didn’t know you could actually –”

“What do you want?” And this time, the apathetic girl turned to face her.

If Diane had not smelt the waft of cigarette smoke before, she surely did now. And the way Sven’s eyes stared straight into her own reminded her of that brief connection a few minutes back…and that time several days ago.

What did she want?

Suddenly, she had no idea what to say.

And again, it’s that damn vodka’s fault.

“Shouldn’t you be off fucking your latest boytoy, Barbie? Or at least leaving me the hell alone?”

At first, Diane felt relieved that the other girl spoke before she could make a fool of herself. But then, what Sven actually said caught up to her and she frowned.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

Sven looked at the brunette in disbelief and snorted.

“I don’t hate you,” and this time, the dark-haired girl looked at Diane in disgust, as if sizing her down, “How can I hate you, when I don’t even care about you enough to hate you?” Sven crushed the still burning end of her almost finished cigarette to the grass, before fishing for more from her hoodie’s pocket.

Diane felt her heart clench and she didn’t know why that comment hurt, but it did. She didn’t want it to, but it did.

Maybe it was the rage – or the vodka – but at that moment, she just stopped thinking and all rational thoughts flew out of the window…or the backyard.

In a matter of less than a second, Diane had pulled a surprised Sven and kissed her so hard, crushing their lips together, a hand on the hoodie she pulled and another on the other girl’s face. It didn’t help that the cheerleader had no time to realize what she had actually done because Sven was kissing her back, forceful and dominant, but so much better than a lot of the other kisses she had experienced before. Hands were everywhere all at once, and the kisses just became more passionate as they went on.

Suddenly, the cheerleader was on her back, lying on the grass, with the singer on top of her. They were making out like there was no tomorrow, and the brunette still didn’t think about anything: not the reaction people would get if they saw them, not the fact that she was almost having sex right there on Lei’s backyard, not that she was the head cheerleader and she had a reputation that would undoubtedly be tarnished if people knew of this, not that she was actually kissing, was being kissed in return, touching, and was also being touched in return by a girl.

Then she felt hands fumbling with the button of her jeans, opening them in haste, and it was as if a switch was turned on inside her head. Diane opened her eyes wide in panic, and for the third time that night, Sven was caught in surprise as she was roughly pushed away.

Face flushed, Diane struggled to scuttle as far away from the other girl as possible, while trying hard to regain her composure.

She couldn’t believe what had just happened.

“Oh my god,” and then face contorted as realization finally reached her, “Oh. My. God.”

The cheerleader stood up and walked away as fast as she could, not looking back at the incredulous expression on Sven’s face.

Watching the brunette, Sven couldn’t help the smile from her face as now, the realization of what really happened hit her. She fell back on the grass, arms wide open, and laughed her heart out.


The name was uttered in such a way that no one else could possibly hear but her, who just happened to be standing so close. Yet the moment Kristen heard it, she immediately knew that things were about to get really, really messy.

She wasn’t even given a moment to figure out some way of calming the brunette before she found herself following an enraged Lei heading towards a raven-haired girl who looked, for lack of a better term, out of place. Ironic that this was the same girl the heiress tried so hard to avoid that she was now confronting head on.

And then Kristen was witness to enclosed fists, a hardened jaw, narrowed eyes, and voice so cold it scared her.

“What are you doing here?”

The girl, shoulder-length black hair and all, looked back with an expression of either relief or happiness, and Kristen didn’t think any of those things belonged to the girl’s face at all considering what was surely bound to happen. The former, however, didn’t even seem to notice anything wrong as she enveloped Lei in a tight embrace.

“Lei, I missed you so much. You have no idea how… how much…”

The blonde saw Lei’s face soften before once again wearing that stony façade. The heiress didn’t move to return the embrace, nor did she do anything to push the other girl away.

“Get off of me.”

The other girl, Kristen figured this was the Audrey, ended the embrace, all relief and happiness now replaced with worry, concern, and the inevitable sadness.

“Lei, please… Baby, let’s not do this now…” Audrey moved closer to the brunette, hand reaching out to the other’s face.

Lei stepped back, now enraged, and slapped the hand away.

“Don’t you dare touch me!”

Kristen didn’t know what was worse, the indifference or the anger.

“Get out of here, Audrey. You have no right to be here.”

Audrey, now openly sobbing, begged, her heart on her sleeve and fingers wiping forcefully at the tears on her face. “Lei, baby, please…”

By now, they were already making quite a scene as the people’s attention became divided between the band performing on stage and the controversy of an impassive Charles-Carlson talking to a crying raven-haired beauty.

Kristen knew Lei could care less.

“You’re not going? Then, I will.”

And just like that, Lei was storming out of her own house, out of the party she helped organize, away from the presence of a crowd of teenagers and a helpless young woman.

Kristen followed after her, until she saw another distraught brunette, also moving to leave in haste. The way Diane dragged herself was enough cause for concern and at once, the blonde knew where she was more needed.

The heiress was strong.

She could take care of herself.

End of chapter eight part two…

Coming Soon on Of Tears And Broken Hearts:

The truth of the matter was that they walked in different circles, and interacted with different groups of friends. They knew each other’s names and faces and who was friends with whom, but they definitely didn’t know each other enough to call themselves friends. Barely even acquaintances at that.


“You,” hand on her inner thigh and the cheerleader had a fleeting realization that being pinned to the wall was the only thing keeping her from falling to the floor, “want me.”


“I just want to talk –”

“We have nothing to talk about.”

More Author’s Notes: The song lyrics (Sven's song) at the start of this update is a part from one of my original compositions. So if you’re curious…yes, I compose songs. There.

Chapter 13

Title: Chapter Nine - Everything Over With

[Author's notes:

Author’s notes: This is an update. Yes, you saw that right. u-p-d-a-t-e.

Author’s notes2: I'm finally done with finals and stuff so I can go back to focusing on my writing. I just hope my pc would still survive until I get it checked by someone who actually knows what he's doing. Anyways, hope you all enjoy this next part and of course, tell me what you think. I live for the feedback.


Chapter Nine – Everything Over With


They didn’t technically know each other, but they knew of one another. Why wouldn’t they, when they’ve been going to the same school for a few years now?

The truth of the matter was that they walked in different circles, and interacted with different groups of friends. They knew each other’s names and faces and who were friends with whom, but they definitely didn’t know each other enough to call themselves friends. Barely even acquaintances at that.

Diane had always been popular. Even at her age of thirteen, she was turning out to be quite the head turner, the heartthrob. She was quickly becoming the object of most hormonal young boys’ fantasies, and the center of talk between young girls who wanted to look and be just like her. She was aware of this and certainly enjoyed the attention.

Most people predicted that come high school, Diane Briggs would take the cheerleading squad by storm.

Kristen was fairly liked by most people, though she wasn’t considered one of the popular ones. She always had a smile on her face and carried an optimistic disposition. Focused on her studies, she was an above average student and she could never be more contented.

It wasn’t that they were different people. They just moved in seemingly different worlds.

So it came as a surprise to Kristen when one time during lunch, Diane approached her like the latter didn’t have any care in the world. The brunette walked with ease and confidence and a familiarity that Kristen felt was unexpected, yet at the same time, not quite so.

Hi,” opened the perky brunette, “there’s this party this Friday at Mark’s – he’s in high school, a sophomore – and this friend of mine, Troy, likes you and would also like for you to come but he’s too chicken to ask you out. So, I volunteered to come talk to you and here I am, asking you to go to the party, even if I’m sure you haven’t been to a high school kid’s party yet. So, you wanna come?”

And all the blonde could do was stare at Diane in disbelief and keep her jaw from dropping to the ground.

I…” Apparently, that was all she could say at the moment. She can’t even understand how the other girl was able to say so much in so little time, acting as if they’ve been friends forever.

Look, I’m not pressuring you or anything because if you decide not to go or if your parents won’t allow you to, then that’s totally okay. But if you do decide to go, I’ll make sure we go together so you won’t feel left out or anything,” again, there was that matter of fact tone that made Kristen wonder for a moment if they had been friends forever and she just seemingly forgot.

Um, well,” Kristen was glad that the shock was mostly already out of her system, “I’m not sure I can go. I mean, you know how parents can be?” Short of looking like a spaz, the blonde hoped her response was good enough.

Oh yeah. Totally,” this time, Diane smiled and Kristen noted there was no hint of arrogance in the other girl’s demeanor, just confidence and friendliness.

Kristen smiled back.

The brunette continued smiling as she declared, “Look, I know that we’re not really friends but I’m pretty sure we both know each other,” and this time, there was a twinkle of amusement in both their eyes, “but just for the heck of it, we can pretend not to, for formality’s sake.

So, hi again, and I’m Diane.”



A nod. “Friends.”


Half a month. She couldn’t even go a whole two weeks in peace before things started catching up with her. Things meaning the one person she tried to run away from…the only person who ever gave her a reason to surrender from the fight, to choose flight and get everything over with.

And she really, really wanted that. To get everything over with. She was tired of crying – tired of wasting countless sleepless nights wondering why things happened the way they did. She wanted to go past the pain – the betrayal – and move on. She knew she had to do just that: move on.

Here she thought that was what she was doing, transferring to a suburban high school so unlike her previous surroundings, trying to start anew even if that meant starting from scratch – or as scratchy as her family name would allow her. She practically left all that she had in her previous school – her friends, her reputation, the leverage she had gained through all the years – just because she couldn’t handle a broken heart. And who would have thought it? Leila Charles-Carlson, the inscrutable billionaire heiress to an empire most people would only fantasize about in their dreams, fleeing due to matters of the heart.

All the money in the world, the fortune of possessing power that her birth certificate can attest to, and here she was being another sniveling idiot who can’t mend a heart shattered to pieces and a trust stomped flat.

How possibly pathetic.

She just had to come here. She just can’t leave me the fucking hell alone. She just…

Lei wanted to hate Audrey for treating her like a lovesick fool. Lei wanted to forget all about Audrey and the way her hair shone in the moonlight and the way her eyes dazzled when she smiled and the way she made a blubbering, moronic, second-rate poet wannabe out of one of the future most powerful women in the business world. Lei wanted to stand up, look straight towards Audrey’s eyes, and tell the girl that she’s over her.

That she’s past the misery and the hurt and that she didn’t care anymore.

But she did care. And she wasn’t even close to getting over the misery and the hurt.

She just couldn’t get over the feeling of knowing that she was being shattered bit by bit the same way that she couldn’t deny the truth that she was still hopelessly, utterly in love.

With Audrey. With no one else but Audrey.


“So where were you last night?”

Sven looked at the smirk that seemed to be permanently plastered on her friend’s face and even though she wouldn’t mind having the redhead in a good mood, it was still too early in the day to be that smug. “Nowhere.”

The scowl that Sven sported only served to urge Julia on. “Well, you sure weren’t anywhere near your house last night.”

The leader of the GSA was only met with a brief look and a grunt as the other girl continued on her way to her first class for the day.

“So…where were you?” It only amused Julia that no matter how Sven acted like she was trying to avoid these friendly chats, in the end, the musician would still let her catch up.

And catch up she did.

“Come on, Sven. You want me to guess?”

Indifference was a look that suited Sven well.

“You were at Jamie’s, weren’t you?”

At this, the other girl came to a halt and Julia didn’t bother hiding the condescending grin.

“Am I right, or am I right?”

“How do you even know I wasn’t in my room last night?”

“I swung by your apartment. Pizza night, remember?”

And when a look of realization came across Sven, the redhead interjected, “And no, I didn’t bring pizza because I knew you’d forget and ditch me for Jamie.”

The dark-haired girl sighed. There was no excuse for her inability to be someone who was deserving enough a friend for Julia. And if her continual fuck-ups were proofs, it seemed as if there was no cure. “I’m sorry for forgetting all about pizza night…” she finally said, looking everywhere except actually at the person she was talking to, and unconsciously biting her bottom lip.

The redhead observed her friend’s stance – the usual impassiveness now mixed with a little fidgeting and discomfort to which the lip-biting was clearly a sign of – and laughed softly. These were a few of Julia’s most treasured moments – when Sven would actually look kind of…cute. “At least one of us is getting any.”

At this, the musician finally dared to look at her best friend and found no trace of annoyance at her seemingly plaintive disregard for an agreed night of kinship over pizza.

“And I’m entitled to saying, ‘I told you so’…”

“You never said anything,” Sven’s relief was palpable as she went back to the familiar stoicism with a raised eyebrow as final touch.

Julia smirked. “I insinuated. I mean, come on. No screwing her brains out, again, ever? Who’d actually believe that crap from you?” And she punctuated it with a gentle poke to the other girl’s arm.

Sven pointedly looked at her friend as she gently rubbed her ‘injured’ arm. “Are you calling me a slut?”

“No,” the redhead replied, amusement obvious as she proceeded to grab Sven’s maltreated arm and keep them moving towards their respective classes, “I’m calling you a nymphomaniac.”

“Call me whatever you like, Julia. The sex is great and Jamie’s not looking for a relationship,” still being dragged through the school halls, Sven thoughtfully observed the hand that now gripped hers and finally raised her gaze towards the back of the girl who owned it. She smiled, “Life is good.”


She spent a whole weekend doing everything she could to forget. Shopping, trips to the spa, getting her nails and hair done, girl time with Kristen over chick flicks, these were activities that once had seemed glorious and she certainly wouldn’t mind doing them over and over again. Now, as she looked back on the past two days, Diane realized that she had never had any one moment of fun. Even with Kristen’s presence, things just seemed rather wearisome and as the last few hours of the weekend came, she finally figured out what was wrong…besides what she already knew was wrong to begin with.

She was trying so hard. All she did was make a chore of things that were supposed to relax her, to comfort her. And she knew exactly why.

No matter how much she wanted to bury what happened to the back of her mind, put the memory in a box, lock it up, and throw away the key, it wasn’t possible. No amount of pretending would completely eradicate the feeling of losing herself in those few minutes where nothing and no one else mattered but the heat that physical contact brought. The passion. Unwanted or not.

Diane felt betrayed.

By her own body, nonetheless.

She clearly remembered Kristen’s concerned gaze that night. And she also remembered feeling ashamed, confused, but if the tingling at certain parts of her body was any indication, she was also very much turned on.

And she hated that feeling above all.

Actually, what she hated was the sad reality that all these feelings were being caused by an unacceptable source. Unacceptable and supposedly impossible.

Because who in their right mind would even consider the possibility that Diane Briggs would even so much as like making out with someone such as Sven, a definite freak from the wrong side of the tracks? And get turned on by it too?

Impossible, right?

Apparently not.


Although she didn’t care much – or at all – for gossip, she still couldn’t help but overhear a few conversations around the halls and inside classrooms. And try as she might to block the irritating sounds of pathetic students who had nothing better to do than talk about the lives of others, she eventually realized that most of their overeager talks and not so hushed whispers circulated around the events of last Friday, particularly the GSA party.

More particularly, the sudden departure of Lei Charles-Carlson and all the events that led to that.

It was to be expected, she had to admit. The party at Lei’s house was a blast and almost everyone came, so surely, if the owner of said house made a hasty retreat with no second thoughts, leaving behind an unknown sobbing girl, there were bound to be some rumors. Some being one hell of an understatement.

The fact that there was absolutely no sign of Lei in any of her classes or even lurking anywhere around campus only served to incense the buzz.

Of course, Sven wasn’t witness to any of these things. She was too preoccupied with making out and then laughing her ass out at the time all the ‘excitement’ was happening. When she finally came back inside, the source of her laughter was gone and so were Lei and Kristen. Julia filled her in on what had apparently happened while she was MIA, and she eventually helped the other girl get back some semblance of control in the party when they realized that all the other organizers were gone.

No questions asked, that night was definitely a source of amusement for Sven. The thing that happened with a certain head cheerleader, wherever the hell it may have come from, although unusual, was absolutely not unwelcome. Watching the expression on the other girl’s face after their impromptu make out session had certainly made her day.

And going home with a hot blonde guitarist? Now, that made her night.

Two nights in a row to be exact.

Sven smirked as she kept walking down the hall, not minding the looks that other students she encountered passing by gave her. She didn’t have English Lit today so she really didn’t have any other class worth going to, and she definitely felt like skipping her classes for the rest of the day. The only reason she even went to her first class was because she wanted to see Julia and knowing her best friend, the redhead would not let her cut by walking her to class and making sure she did go. Julia wasn’t even in that class.

As she proceeded to make a turn, she found herself being dragged rather forcefully and before she could do anything else, she realized that she was inside a girl’s bathroom.

“What is it with people and dragging me around this morning?!” As soon as she said this, she finally saw the person responsible for hauling her around and her scowl turned into an amused grin. The other girl, however, locked the door and immediately spun to face her.

“Look, I dragged you in here so we can talk and get everything over with. And I want to do this as fast as possible.”

Sven raked her gaze over Diane’s figure – taking her precious time – from head to foot and back again, settling on the other girl’s face with a raised brow and a grin. “Whoa, feisty much?”

The cheerleader looked at Sven with disgust. “Whatever,” a pause and then, “What happened last Friday? It didn’t happen.”

“Really? Because if my memory serves me right, it was definitely you I was swapping saliva with.”

This time, Diane’s eyes were wide, “No! Nothing happened! And I sure as hell wasn’t…swapping…whatever with you!”

Sven laughed sarcastically and folded her arms, “You called me a chain smoking psycho loser. And now, are you actually saying that I’m a liar?”

Sven watched the other girl bite her lip and start walking back and forth before finally looking back at her, “You can’t tell anyone! You can’t!”

She approached Diane with no hesitation, but also with no rush. “And why is that, Barbie?”

She saw Diane’s glare upon hearing the name of every – yeah, right – little girl’s dream doll, but then realized that the she was slowly approaching and in panic, started backing up. “Don’t you dare come near me!”

“Why shouldn’t I tell anyone?” Sven continued, ignoring the other girl’s pitiful attempt at a semi-threat.


“I’m a girl and you just can’t be gay? What could Lei possibly say about that?”

“It’s not that! I have nothing against –”

“Then why?” Sven was definitely milking this for all it was worth and she couldn’t help but enjoy the look of panic, anxiety, and undeniable desire in the cheerleader’s eyes.

Diane felt the hardness of the wall against her back and immediately, the panic she was feeling doubled. She looked to her sides for a possible exit but as soon as she did so, her attention shifted back to Sven. The musician was now directly in front of her, definitely too close for comfort, and when Sven rested her hands on the wall just to the sides of her waist, the cheerleader found herself involuntarily swallowing a lump in her throat.

“Or maybe it’s because you’re the head cheerleader and I’m just Sven, the chain smoking psycho loser, right?”

Diane forced herself to look directly at Sven’s face in defiance but as soon as she did just that, she found out too late that that was a mistake. Defiance quickly turned into something else, and that something else became irrefutably evident when the musician leaned towards her, just to whisper to her ear.

“You can be pushing me away now. You can be slapping my face so hard, it’ll leave a bright red handprint. Or you could have just pretended that last Friday didn’t happen, without even talking to me about this, because you know as well as I do that if I ever tell anyone, no one’s probably going to believe me other than Julia anyway,” and then Diane felt the gentle brush of lips to her neck, “You didn’t do any of those things because you don’t want to.” Another tender kiss and the brunette definitely felt herself shiver at the contact, “You know what you want, Diane?”

“You,” hand on her inner thigh and the cheerleader had a fleeting realization that being pinned to the wall was the only thing keeping her from falling to the floor, “want me.”

“And I,” at this, Sven smirked then pushed herself off the other girl and turned around, “am so out of here.”

The cheerleader helplessly watched Sven walk out of the bathroom as she finally slid down to the floor in a daze.


“I just want to talk –”

“We have nothing to talk about.”

Lei knew that opening the gate was just not the sanest thing to do, but watching Audrey on her driveway from her bedroom’s window for the past three hours couldn’t be considered sane either. And from the looks of it, Audrey wasn’t going anywhere.

The brunette sighed, “Audrey, I am asking you one last time, please leave me alone.”

“I really just want us to talk, Lei.”

“I told you, we have nothing to –”

“Yes, we do!” Audrey cried out, in a desperate attempt to make Lei listen just for a small amount of time. “I understand that you have every right to hate me right now, Lei, but you can’t just leave and expect me not to worry about you! Where you are. How you are. Are you lonely? Are you okay? Are you…”

Audrey trailed off as she closed her eyes and tried to calm the emotions that were rapidly becoming too much for her.


“You can’t just leave and expect me to not look for you. After what happened last Friday, I knew I had to give you some more time, and I did! A whole weekend, Lei! I gave you a whole weekend to finally get over the fact that I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. You can’t just keep running away. And if you didn’t open the damn gate, I would’ve waited, however long it takes.”

Lei calmly looked at the beautiful features of her ex-girlfriend, and the unwelcome tears that were now flowing openly on the girl’s gorgeous face, “But I opened the gate and now I’m telling you to leave…because I know you want to explain and I don’t want to hear any of your fucking explanations.”

“It was a drunken mistake, Lei.”

Now this time, it was the brunette who cried out, “And what do you expect me to say?! That I forgive you?! That you made a fucking drunken mistake and people make mistakes all the time so I should forgive you?!” They were both crying now, and Lei hated herself for letting Audrey see another one of her weak moments. “It’s not that easy, Audrey. I trusted you, and you know how hard that is for me. I could have given you everything you asked of me. I would give you everything you ask of me. But what do you do? You fuck someone else. No, wait. You don’t just fuck someone else, do you? You fuck my best friend!”

“I’m sorry –”

Lei held her hand out to stop the other girl from talking, “You know, Audrey, irony of the situation here is, you didn’t even trust me enough to accuse me of doing something that I would never, ever, do to you. And as it turns out, you did it to me.” The brunette opened her arms wide in defeat, “So tell me, Audrey, what am I supposed to think? How am I supposed to feel?”

Audrey could only nod as her gaze fixed on the ground. Still crying.

“I love you so much, Lei.”

“And it’s not enough.”

Audrey choked back a sob, “I know.”

“Audrey,” Lei moved to wipe the tears on Audrey’s face but stopped. “I still love you, you have to know that. But I can’t be with you…”

Lei turned around to walk back.

“I’m transferring to Wright-Duncan.”

Lei halted her steps and looked back at her ex-girlfriend in disbelief, “What?”

The other girl was finally looking back at her with a tentative gaze, “I’m going to do everything I can to win back your trust…even if we could only be friends. And I can’t do that if I’m not here. I’m transferring to Wright-Duncan, Lei. I’m transferring for you.”

Lei shook her head and finally walked away, “Not for me, Audrey. Not for me.” This isn’t for me.

End of chapter Nine…

Coming Soon on Of Tears and Broken Hearts:

She heard the low moan and felt the arching of Sarah’s back and in an instant, something inside Lei snapped. Abruptly, she stood up and backed away from the couch, not being able to look at the dazed model lying on the couch.

I can’t.”

“You know I’ll always be here for you, right?”

“You have no idea how much that means to me.”

Face flushed, and breathing still not quite in control. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”

Chapter 14

Title: Chapter Ten - Night Blind

[Author's notes:

Author’s notes: Here’s tenth chapter for all o’ yah! And it’s a very pretty tenth chappie too, what with some interactions here and there, a little helping of inner emotions, the inevitable angst, and oh! Some kinda make out session thingy that I decided I just can’t forego. Cheerio lovelies!

Author’s notes2: Hmmmm, this is a little itty bitty request from someone very, very much concerned. READ AND REVIEW. I knooooow I’m a lousy updater, but really, I’m trying my best here. And after weeks of NO INTERNET CONNECTION WHATSOEVER, I am cranky. Sort of. Feedbacks guide my energies to their proper destination. Like, say, writing chapters for this ficcie here. Oh, and my homework, but I doubt you guys care about that.

Author’s notes3: Another one, tell me which pairing(s) you most like. I’d love to know which pairing(s) get(s) you riled up. Even the pairing(s) that doesn’t(don’t) seem that plausible but you find interesting. Just tell me… Who knows? I might get an idea…

Author’s notes4: Sorry, sorry. I can’t help it. I just have to say it. I’m not an engineering major anymore! YAY! I really, truly, utterly, absolutely despise engineering (no offense to engineers out there, or engineering majors) and I am so glad to be out of it. I love my new major. And I’m sure I’ll have more time to write now, not to mention more inspired. Oh, you’re curious what my new major is? Hmmm… What could it possibly be?



Chapter Ten – Night Blind

She heard the low moan and felt the arching of Sarah’s back and in an instant, something inside Lei snapped. Abruptly, she stood up and backed away from the couch, not being able to look at the dazed model lying on the couch.

I can’t,” she shook her head and rubbed at her face harshly before settling her gaze on the ground. Lei felt like crying again. “I’m sorry, Sar. I can’t. I’m not going to use you. I’m sorry.”

Sexually frustrated, the model slowly sat up from the couch, picking up the discarded jersey on the floor and wearing it once more. She bit back a groan, now from irritation, and looked at the other girl who so obviously was internally beating herself up for starting something she couldn’t finish. Sarah wanted to beat Lei up too, for making her as turned on as she was at that moment and leaving her just like that, but a look to the heiress and all she could do was sigh.

Look, Lei, I understand.”

Lei still wasn’t looking at Sarah. “No. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought you into this.”

Lei –”

I don’t want you to think that I came here to…to… It’s just that, I don’t know where else to go.”

Lei –”

I should just leave,” and with that, Lei turned to pick up her bag when she felt soft hands on her wrist. The heiress looked up to gaze into calm blue eyes, traces of desire still evident.

No. Stay here. You’re tired and you’re hurting. Stay.”

The model stood up, lowering her hold to grasp at Lei’s hand and intertwine their fingers.

I’m not going to let you out of here in that state. And as much as I really, really want to continue what we were doing, I know you can’t.”

Swallowed in guilt, Lei turned her gaze back to the floor. Sarah had never been anything but respectful and the heiress felt like an asshole. She knew the model liked her, was attracted her, and even though she never encouraged anything with Sarah, she never really outrightly rejected the woman’s advances either.

To tell the truth, she even enjoyed mildly flirting with the older woman. Sarah was without a doubt, one hot head turner, which was also the reason why she was chosen the face of the CC fashion label. The heiress wasn’t oblivious to that fact, even if sometimes she pretended to be.

A short visit to her parents a year ago caused their chance meeting which inevitably turned into a playful friendship, one full of flirtations and come ons – mostly initiated by the model. Lei had made it clear to Sarah from the very start however, that she only really had eyes for Audrey and the blonde wholeheartedly accepted that. Despite the innuendos, Sarah never went out of line. She knew her boundaries and even when Lei thought the model was starting to tread on dangerous ground, Sarah never teetered off the edge.

Ironic that it was Lei who eventually broke the unspoken rules.

She felt her hand being released and Lei looked up just as Sarah came closer. The blonde closed her arms around Lei’s waist and the heiress was then enveloped in a warm embrace. Instinctually, Lei embraced back, still feeling the guilt but could do nothing otherwise.

Stay,” Sarah pulled back to look at the other girl’s face and eventually settled her gaze on Lei’s eyes. She smiled. “Tell me everything. I’m here.”

I’m sorry.”

The model continued smiling, “It’s okay. I understand.”


“You weren’t in school today.”

Kristen was witness to a Lei she had not seen before, all hunched shoulders and messy hair. It wasn’t a pretty sight and she knew it. They both knew it.

“Not really feeling well.”

Kristen nodded, “Yeah, I can see that.”

The brunette gave a small smile. A strained smile, Kristen noticed.

“Can I come in, Lei?”

The door was opened a little wider. “Sure.”

Kristen stepped in and saw how everything was just the way they should be. No misplaced memorabilia. Furniture clean and pristine. It didn’t even look like the place that sponsored a huge high school party just a few days back.

It looked empty.


“I brought ice cream,” Kristen put up the hand that held a plastic bag that contained a gallon of Cookies and Cream ice cream. “Wasn’t sure if you had some so I brought it just to make sure.”

“Look Kristen, I’m not really in the mood to talk…”

“We don’t have to talk. I just want someone to eat ice cream with.”

The blonde was smiling. It wasn’t the cheeky kind nor the sympathetic one. It was just a simple smile. No promises, no hidden meaning.

Just a smile.

And for the first time that day, Lei relaxed.

“Alright,” the brunette turned to move towards the kitchen, but before she left the living room, she stopped to look back. Kristen was looking at Lei and Lei looked back, their gazes meeting.

The heiress smiled.

“Make yourself at home, Krissy.”

“You bet I will.”


She looked at the white-washed ceiling, face as blank as her stare. She wished there was some kind of design, a pattern she could trace with her eyes printed on the ceiling of her room. She wished she could lose herself in the colors or shapes or anything other than the utter nothingness so her mind could be preoccupied with silly thoughts that would give her the escape she needed from reality.

Sadly, there was nothing but the emptiness. The void.

She closed her eyes.

The darkness was so much worse.

The days were always bright. The sun shone over everything, including her, and even when there were times she felt so alone even in the midst of a crowd, she could always go outside and sit and just bask. And she wouldn’t feel so alone because there was her music, there were her melodies, there was the sun.

And the sun made her think that there could be something more for her than what she had and she held on.

And the sun made her think that there could be someone for her. And that someone could be…

…could be Julia.

With eyes still closed, Sven smiled and sighed.

The nights were always dark. And hard. And there were moments when she felt like breaking down. Always at nights.

So it didn’t come as a surprise that the number of cigarettes she smoked were so much greater at nights than at days. No one knew this. Probably not even Julia noticed.

But Sven did.

She was aware of how dependent she had become on her vice, but that was better than being dependent on something else. Someone else. Because she knew, she just knew that she had to have the walls, the protection. Everyone was going to leave. Everyone was bound to leave one way or another, and she was only human. She couldn’t really fend for herself even if she wanted to, even if she pretended to. So she had to have something.

And the cigarettes gave her something to lean onto.

Especially at nights.

Sven opened her eyes, once again looking at the empty ceiling. She brought an arm up, palm open, fingers stretched out. As if trying to reach for something unknown on the ceiling above her. Then, she closed her fingers and clenched her fist. She gritted her teeth and her hand fell to the side, connecting with the hard bed.

and I’m just Sven, the chain smoking psycho loser, right?

She sat up in an instant, a hand raking through her hair, messing the tresses more than they already were. Her eyes closed as she sighed, firm and with force, in an attempt to rein in the ache in her chest. She shook her head vehemently and her hands went up to cover her eyes. After a while, she opened her eyes and looked down.

Her palms were wet.


They were sitting beside each other, each holding a spoon and their respective bowls of ice cream. The couch was soft and comfortable but Lei had to admit that the comfort she felt came mostly from the company. True to what she said, Kristen had not even once uttered a word to initiate a conversation ever since they sat together and Lei popped in the adapted movie version of “Rent” on the DVD player. So they had just been there for the past half hour, enjoying each other’s silent company while eating ice cream and watching.

At some moments, and Lei thought of this with a smile, she would catch Kristen surreptitiously stealing glances her way. She had to give the other girl credit though, because with the small distance between them, it was undeniably hard to look without seeming so, and if Lei wasn’t stealing glances herself, she wouldn’t have noticed it.

But she was and she did.

So as it was, they weren’t just watching what was being shown in front of them, but they were also watching each other on the sides.

Somehow, Lei found this amusing and reassuring.

She continued to watch the movie adapted Broadway play and saw Joanne and Mark doing their Tango, being connected because of a commonality that should have typically brought them apart. Mark because of his flirtatious, hot ex-girlfriend and Joanne because of her flirtatious, hot current girlfriend. Both of them because of Maureen.

Lei once again looked to her side in that nonchalant seemingly-not-looking-but-actually-observing kind of way. If Kristen’s technique was to steal glances without being obvious about it, Lei’s was making her glances obvious without coming off as actually looking. Lei wanted it to appear as if she was just letting her gaze travel and if her gaze happened to pass by the other girl, then so be it.

Of course, when she did this, she knew she wasn’t actually looking at anything but the other girl.

Lei wondered what it was that connected her and Kristen at that moment that even through the silence, there was no air of unease. Was it the ice cream? Was it the movie? Was it the shared stolen glances?

Maybe it was just them.

She wanted to think that somehow there was no need for reason. Lei wanted to think that maybe it was possible that their connection wasn’t something that needed explanations or tedious analysis.

That there could be silence or noise, movie night or unashamed dancing, childhood or the inevitable journey to adulthood, and still they would be connected. Lei and Kristen. Krissy and Leila.

That ten years, everything that came in between, wasn’t something that would stop them from being comfortable in each other’s presence. That even though her head was full of jumbled thoughts and emotions surrounding Audrey, she would still be able to relish the feeling of belonging that Kristen could without an ounce of doubt give her.

“Your ice cream is turning into soup.”

This time, Lei looked directly at the girl beside her. Kristen was smiling and pointing to Lei’s bowl of ice cream with her spoon and when the brunette looked down, true enough, more than half of her ice cream had already melted to form some kind of sticky, cold soup.

Lei held out the bowl to the girl beside her, and with a half-playful smile said, “Want it?”

The blonde looked at the treat being offered with suspicion, “Uh, no, thank you.”

“Your loss,” and with a mischievous glimmer in her eyes, Lei scooped out some ice cream (or ice cream soup, however way you look at it) from the bowl and ate it. She turned back her gaze to what they had been watching but her attention wasn’t in it. In fact, her attention was focused somewhere nearer, a little closer.

“Lei, that’s just,” and when the brunette looked back to her side, she saw Kristen smiling her own good-natured smile, mock revulsion painted all over her face, “gross.”

It was a mystery to Lei how such a simple statement as pointing out that her ice cream had turned to soup could make a huge part of her heart stop aching. How a small conversation, barely a few words said to be exact, about the most inane thing could make the painful constriction subside. How a smile, that little playful smile, from the girl beside her could make her get a glimpse again of that light at the end of her proverbial tunnel.

The brunette swallowed the lump that formed in her throat when she realized that the hazy vision came from her now watery eyes.

“Thank you, Kristen.” It was a barely there whisper, but enough that the blonde heard.

There was another moment of silence, until Lei felt the hand on her thigh and that oh so gentle squeeze.

“You know I’ll always be here for you, right?”

And even though unbidden images of previous friends and lovers came to her mind, of betrayal and the loss of trust (or the lack of trust to begin with), Lei didn’t feel that alone anymore.

“You have no idea how much that means to me.”


Sven was an enigma in her own right.

Julia knew that. Knew it from the first time she laid eyes on Sven.

She remembered how enamored she had been that day she saw Sven in the alley, alone except for that death stick loosely held in between fingers. Sven’s hair – dyed a dark copper tone – was a mess. Sven’s fingers were gently shaking, so gentle that she wouldn’t have noticed if she wasn’t paying more attention than she intended to in the first place. Sven’s clothes were rumpled and Julia just knew that the other girl couldn’t give a damn.

At that moment, Julia saw a broken girl.

But at that moment, she saw strength and passion and beauty.

Suffice to say, she was hooked.

Now, years after, she was still hooked.

She lived for moments when she would tease Sven about her numerous one night stands, knowing that she was the only person in the whole world who could get away with calling the other girl a slut in front of her face. She woke up every morning just so she could see that insufferable scowl on her best friend’s face, knowing it was a scowl meant only for her – Sven’s very own scowl of affection, compared to her usual scowl of aggravation.

Julia waded through every single day with the knowledge that no matter how much she rambled, how senseless her rants could sometimes be, how exasperating she could get, Sven always gave her the time of day. That when normally the other girl rolled her eyes and shut the world out, Sven never did that where Julia was concerned. Sven was always interested, was always patient, was still there despite looking like the indifferent girl that her reputation made her out to be.

And Julia, for the life of her, could never figure out how things worked out the way they did. How they both ended up being each other’s rock.

Because that was what Sven was to her.

Before Sven, Julia’s life had no direction. She didn’t know where she was headed, what she was meant to do, and even who she really was. She felt as if she was just standing there while everything moved around her. Sometimes, she felt as if she was drowning and she couldn’t breathe and still no one noticed.

But Sven gave her something she never thought she could get anywhere else, from anyone else.

Sven gave her the reason.

To wake up. To sleep. To walk through the days and stroll through the nights.

To live.

And though Julia knew that her best friend would never believe it, would deny it even, Sven gave her the reason to be happy.

So for that, Julia was grateful that she didn’t back down from the promise she made to herself that one day in the alley, even when narrowed eyes turned to gaze at her and then proceed to look through her.

It was a promise worth keeping. And though she doubted she would ever be able to tell Sven directly what it was, Julia was determined to keep the silent promise for as long as it took.


“Okay, girls. That’s it for” and her words faltered when she saw the figure from across the field, walking slowly, shoulders slumped and hoodie up in an inevitable attempt to keep to itself,”…today.”

The figure was far enough to be insignificant, but Diane saw nonetheless and took notice.

She looked back to the rest of the squad, all beautiful in their cheerleading glory, and Diane pasted a smile to her face, despite the fact that her stomach was now churning in indiscernible ways, “Same time tomorrow, everyone?”

With nods and mumbles, the other girls picked up their bags and headed for the shower room. Diane watched them all like the head cheerleader that she was, and when they were all far enough, or preoccupied enough to care about her, Diane headed for the other direction.

She traced the steps that led to a place no one would ever consider a cheerleader to be in, let alone the head cheerleader of Wright-Duncan High.

Diane had heard enough rumors about what happened in the alley. Stoners’ haven, some people even said, and that was enough for her to swear never to even set foot in the area. She was definitely beyond that just because she was Diane Briggs.

She was Diane Briggs, for God’s sake! What the hell was she doing?

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

It wasn’t said in anger or consternation. It wasn’t even accompanied with that pervasive scowl she wanted to damn well forget but just couldn’t.

They were garbled words that came partnered with a tired sigh.

And once again, Diane had no idea.

“I… I just…” she tried, but still nothing. Her mind was a blank but her stomach kept churning and something was pounding really, really loudly.

“Look, Diane, I’m not in the mood for games. Isn’t one encounter enough for today? I just want to be alone.”

There it was again. That exhausted sigh. It would have been so much easier if she was confronted with anything but that. A scowl. A smirk. A smug grin. Diane was ready for a quarrel. She was geared for a lashing, to force Sven to understand that what happened in the bathroom earlier that day was unacceptable. That no one, absolutely no one, was allowed to treat her the way Sven did.

But now, now, she was once again at a loss.

And despite herself, she came a little closer.

So it was just because of that that it became a little easier for the other girl to grab a hold of Diane’s wrist and tug her forcefully. Even closer.

And when Diane felt those lips again on hers, she couldn’t do anything else but close her eyes and give in. With one of her wrists still being held, she used her other hand to tangle fingers in messy, black locks that were surprisingly soft. When she felt that tiny lick of a tongue on her lower lip, she felt knees starting to turn into jell-o, and yet as if on instinct, she opened her mouth a little wider and that intruding tongue, she met with her own.

She couldn’t help it. The sensuous moan slipped out before she was able to stop it, and just like that, the other girl pulled back and the kiss was broken. Diane’s eyes were still closed, but this time, she was well aware of what just happened, what she just did, and with whom. And maybe, just maybe, if she kept her eyes closed, she could pretend that the person in front of her wasn’t who she knew it was, but that suave, new guy from the basketball varsity or her hunky ex from the swimming team.

“What do you really want?”

It was a husky, soft voice, and Diane remembered that night, that song. She remembered the smell of cigarettes and the flare that came from the eyes of the one person who had the guts to call her a bitch in front of everyone, with her inside the room.

Face flushed, and breathing still not quite in control. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”

Diane remembered how she pretended not to notice when they passed each other in the hallways, when in fact, she could see just how short the new haircut was or how dark the new hair color was which she thought complemented the dark eyeliner and the pale skin quite well. But she never said anything.

She remembered how she pretended to blanch that day Kristen told her she was helping establish the school’s GSA and mentioned that that Goth girl with those too dark clothes was along for the ride just because her punk friend was heading the organization. Inside, she was curious to know what the meetings would be like. What that girl – the one who made eye rolling a sport in itself – would be like in those meetings. Would that girl be spontaneous, or quiet, or surprisingly smart? But still, she never said anything.

She remembered how she pretended to only be there because Leila Charles-Carlson was there. To pretend that she wasn’t secretly thrilled that finally, there was a plausible reason for her, the head cheerleader and probably most popular girl in school, to be there.

She remembered how she pretended not to look, not to listen, not to notice, when everyday, it was getting just that much harder.

Diane finally opened her eyes and she was met with dark brown ones not her own, unblinking, unafraid.

And suddenly, she couldn’t pretend anymore.

“I want this.”

She closed her eyes once more as she leaned forward and was met with those searing lips.

Behind her lids was darkness, but not black. Brown. Dark brown.

End of chapter Ten…

Coming Soon on Of Tears and Broken Hearts:

I am tired, mom, but I’m okay now. I just really needed to get out of there.”

And you couldn’t decide on somewhere a little nearer, honey?”

Lei let herself smile, barely, but it was there nevertheless. “Far is better, mom.”


“Well, she’s different…and then again, she’s not really that different,” she looked up, thinking. “Like, there was that something when we met again. A familiarity. It was there, but it was confusing ’coz she’s different now.”


“Look, what you’re doing here? It’s ridiculous! You are a senior and soon, you’ll have your pick of any, and I mean ANY university in this country. So, why can’t you just wait a year more before you go off gallivanting to some unknown suburban neighborhood?”

Chapter 15

Title: Chapter Eleven - Roots And Boulders

[Author's notes:

Of Tears And Broken Hearts

By: Keilanch

Author’s notes: Chapter eleven people. Everyone reading this and all… Here you go. Again, and like always, my beg of you peeps is to read and then REVIEW. Feedback is feedback, people, especially for a review whore like yours truly here. They keep me up. They give me the strength to continue. They remind me constantly that there’s this little story that I kinda sort of have to finish, yah know? Without reviews, what’s there to remind me?

Author's Notes2: I really really want to thank everyone for their reviews but I kinda have a new mantra now. My new mantra: No review, no update. Concrit is greatly appreciated. XD


Chapter Eleven – Roots And Boulders

Honey, we’ve been worried sick about you. Nanny Josie called telling me how you came home looking like a wreck and how you went to the airport –”

Mom, about that. I’m sorry I was a bitch at the airport –”

What? What are you talking about? How is that important?”

It was just… I needed to get out and they didn’t want to give me a ticket and I couldn’t call the company jet –”


I’m sorry, mom. I shouldn’t have dragged you and dad into my problems. I wasn’t thinking –”

Lei, honey –”

I’m sorry, mom…”

Leila, honey, stop,” and finally, as the tears began to fall again for the nth time that day, Lei sat on the soft couch, emotionally exhausted, and listened. “I don’t care if you were the biggest drama queen at the airport. I just care that you’re okay. Are you okay?”

Yes, mom, I’m,” a sniffle that the brunette was sure her mother could hear but that she couldn’t hide, not when she couldn’t breathe. “I’m fine.”

You don’t sound fine, honey. Where are you?”

I’m at Sarah’s,” she looked around, but she knew she was alone. Sarah went out just before she called her mother, to get coffee. Starbucks, the model said, because despite all the local coffee shops with their fancy names, sometimes something as simple as a name you recognize from home could keep you from being uprooted and completely blown away. “Back in Paris, mom.”

You must be so tired. What possessed you to get a last-minute flight right back where you came from?” It wasn’t an accusatory tone coming from the other line, and Lei could hear the concern reverberating. She knew her mother must be in the middle of something or the other and yet, she always came first. Lei never experienced being put on hold, nor did she experience being left behind. That was what was different with her parents. They always found a way to make her their first priority, making up for the first eleven years of her life spent like a criminal on the lam.

I am tired, mom, but I’m okay now. I just really needed to get out of there.”

And you couldn’t decide on somewhere a little nearer, honey?”

Lei let herself smile, barely, but it was there nevertheless. “Far is better, mom.”

Yes, as far as Paris, that is. You are one crazy girl for making us worry about you! And think of what poor Nanny Josie was thinking, you barging in and going out like a madwoman. Her words, exactly.”

It was a soft chuckle she heard coming from herself, this time. It was as if she was still somehow disconnected from reality, but the voice of her mother was finally guiding her back to safer grounds. “Yeah, I’m sure I spooked her out. As well as those guys at the airport.”

Well, Nanny Josie was just concerned for your well-being. Can’t say much for the airport employees you must have hassled.” Lei heard the sigh from the other line, not sure whether her mother wanted her to hear it or was just too frazzled to keep it in. “What’s wrong, Leila?”


Honey, I love you. Let me help you here.”

I just… It’s just…” there was that lump again, in her throat. She hated the lump for making her feel like a pathetic loser. “I can’t go back there. I can’t.”

What is this about, baby?”

I’m pathetic, mom. I’m just…”

You are Leila Charles-Carlson! Do not ever say that!”

But I am! I’m pathetic…”

Leila, honey, listen to me. Whatever happened, you can get through this, alright? Let me help you.”

I can’t go back there, mom… I don’t want to… I just… It hurts, mom, so much…” Tears. Tears everywhere.

What hurts? Oh my poor baby…” There was that crack in the voice on the other line and Lei hated to hear her mother like that, because her mother was a strong, determined woman and she never broke down. Not like Lei.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry, mom. It’s silly and pathetic and… I just don’t understand!” She sounded silly and pathetic, to her own ears and probably to her mom’s too. “I don’t understand how they…how she can do this… to me…” What was building up to an outbreak ended in a soft whimper. Pathetic.

She? Honey, is this about Audrey?”

Silence. That name. Another torrent of tears.

Honey, Leila… Okay, I’ll talk to your dad and see what we can do. About you not wanting to go back there,” Hearts beating, and Lei could hear hers and loathed it. “But baby, it’s your senior year!”

I just… I don’t understand, mom... How…?”

Curled up on the sofa, crying and clutching the phone as if her life depended on it, Lei knew she looked pitiful as pitiful could get. And that was the sight that met Sarah as she came in, coffee in hand, the standard Starbucks logo looking smug and powerful.

Something inside the model broke as she approached the huddled figure, put down what she held, and stroked gentle hair instead. Sobs came and went, like from an injured puppy she saw once when she was a young child, and Sarah reached for the phone that was handed without much resistance.

Ms. Charles-Carlson?”


Yes, ma’am,” looking down, Sarah couldn’t help but bite her lower lip, “Lei is… she’s a mess.”

I know.”

Laura Charles-Carlson always seemed like an untouchable woman to Sarah. She was kind but firm. Never gentle but never harsh. Now, she just sounded like a mother.

She just came to my place last night. Nowhere to go…”

My daughter is strong and smart and I am proud of her, so I don’t usually ask this of anyone but right now, I need you to take care of her, Sarah. As a friend. She needs a friend, right now.”

With all due respect, what she needs is you –”

And I will be there but I can only do so much. Same goes for her father. Until we can all figure out where to go from here, you have a responsibility because she chose you. My daughter did come to your place, didn’t she?” That was the businesswoman Sarah was accustomed to.

I don’t want her anywhere else.”

There you go.”

A beat.

Audrey cheated on her.”

A sigh.

I figured as much.”

With Lei’s own best friend. That Grant bastard.”

Lei was looking up now and Sarah could only stare back.

Just take care of my daughter. Probably just until the shock wears off. Or the confusion.”

Sarah traced a finger over soft lips. Lei remained as she was. Just looking.


I will. I promise.”


Kristen was sitting near the kitchen counter, watching her mother make her favorite waffles. Even after all these years and after the thousands of waffles her mother made her, she still would never exchange homemade waffles for anything.

“Mom, do you remember that time when I was maybe about eight? You know, when I kept bringing this friend home and you always made us waffles?”

“Of course, Kristen. How can I forget?” Her mother looked back for a while, hair in a tight ponytail and wrinkles showing on the forehead but the smile remained invigorating. “She was a dear angel, that girl. A little playful, sure, but very smart. What was her name again?”


“Yes, Leila. Lovely name too.”

“She was my best friend for a while.”

“The first friend you brought home too. You know, before her, I was a little worried about you. I thought you weren’t making friends in school. Or around here even.”

Kristen smiled as the image of a brunette girl approaching her as she cried came to mind. The girl who thought she was crying because she had lost a pet she never had in the first place. “Yeah, actually, all the kids back then made me cry.”

There was a comfortable silence for a while as Kristen rested her cheek on her open palm and smiled at memories she thought she’d buried long ago.

“I wonder what happened to that girl,” Carol Sanders said, in a reminiscent tone she always used. A tone that always soothed Kristen with thoughts of bedtime stories and being tucked to sleep.

Kristen bit her lip, smiling, wondering how her mother would react to what she was about to say. “She’s an heiress now.”

“Hmm. I thought you said she’s an heiress now.”

“I did.”

Once again, the elder woman looked at her daughter. Confusion noticeable even around the signs of age on her face. “What do you mean, dear?”

“Leila Charles-Carlson. That’s her real name.”

Confusion gave way to recognition, then disbelief.

“You mean, from the CC empire?”

The younger blonde smiled and nodded as she saw the hints of comprehension settling in on the woman in front of her.

“Oh, really? That’s… Well, that’s definitely something.”

“I know,” a soft laughter, “I couldn’t believe it at first.” Another smile when she thought back on that day at Lei’s house. “I really couldn’t believe it.”

“Well, I see her on TV sometimes and I wasn’t even aware I actually knew the girl, dear. She just seems so extravagant! Far from the dirty girl who ate my cooking.” There was a smile Kristen could see on her mother’s face that she knew matched her own.

“Well, she’s different…and then again, she’s not really that different,” she looked up, thinking. “Like, there was that something when we met again. A familiarity. It was there, but it was confusing ’coz she’s different now.”

“Oh, so you’ve talked to her again?”

“She’s in Wright-Duncan. Transferred.”

“Really? I’m assuming she’s a senior too?”


“That’s quite sudden. Transferring on the last year of high school.”

“It is. It’s really sudden.”

“Well, I just hope nothing bad happened.”

Kristen had no reply. Not when she didn’t want to talk about Lei’s issues with her mom. Her mother was an intelligent, accepting woman, but Lei’s dilemmas were…different.

“Mom, can I invite her to dinner? Maybe next week?”

“Of course, dear,” Carol nodded, then smiled in understanding. “Bring her here anytime.”


“I don’t understand why you’re doing this, Audrey.”

“I never asked you to understand. And if I recall correctly, I also never asked for your opinion,” a hardened jaw was what she gave the woman that sat before her. No smile. Not even a decent greeting to begin with.

“I am your mother, Audrey May! You have no right talking to me that way.”

“You stopped being my mother the day you went off with that fucking lawyer, mom,” Sarcasm was one of Audrey’s specialty. Probably also one of the most endearing traits that drew Lei in to her.

But there was no point dwelling on that at the moment.

The elder woman could not help but sigh. Her daughter was being ridiculously stubborn again. Why was it that she even let herself have a child with that man? It was so apparent how much the girl resembled her father. “Don’t use that language with me, young woman.”

“Then don’t fucking pretend that you care.”

“I do care! That’s why I’m here.”

“You’re here because you’re doing what you do best: ruin my life.”

The elder woman laughed caustically, and it was enough for Audrey to grit her teeth in anger.

“Actually, Audrey, you are the one doing that to yourself,” and with a sharp breath, “Look, what you’re doing here? It’s ridiculous! You are a senior and soon, you’ll have your pick of any, and I mean ANY university in this country. So, why can’t you just wait a year more before you go off gallivanting to some unknown suburban neighborhood? Finish your last year of high school and if you want to go to some college from wherever after that, then fine! I won’t stop you. But this? Audrey, this is just ridiculous.”

“This is what I want,” Audrey was firm, but the anger that she tried to contain was as clear as day to the other woman. Audrey always did wear her heart on her sleeve, one of the many things she got from her father. Something that always reminded Eileen Gaile – once Thatcher – of the man she had married, but never learned to love.

“Well, what you want is rash and foolhardy.”

“And again, who asked for your opinion?”

“I’m here as a concerned parent, Audrey.”

A snort and a smirk, painful and rooted some place deep. “Oh really? Don’t you think that’s a little late now?”

Another sigh and it seemed as if only Audrey could bring out so much sighs from her mother. And the sighs definitely weren’t of the good kind. “I can understand where all this anger’s coming from, but what I do not understand is why you are being reckless when it comes to this. Audrey, you’re a smart girl,” the elder woman shifted a little closer and Audrey moved further back, away as if afraid of being scorched, “so if this is some kind of rebellious move, you should know better than proceed with it.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. This isn’t some scheme to get your attention. And I won’t do that to dad,” at the mention of her father, Audrey’s face mellowed just that small bit but her mother saw nonetheless.

“Then why are you doing this?”

There was silence but the emotions on Audrey’s face were enough to suffice for any loss of words. Anger, hurt, love, pain, regret, love, fear, love. And on top of it all, Audrey was trying so hard to keep everything in, which just made it so much easier for her mother to see.

“I have to do this,” a brief pause, “And I’ve already got dad’s approval. His is the only one I need.”

Eileen stood up, realizing the futility of the situation. Audrey had always been an obstinate girl and if she wanted to crawl her way into a mine pit, then she’d just have to learn how to get out by herself.

“You know what? Do what you want to do, Audrey. I’ve done what I can and if the man you call your father won’t even do his damn job to put some sense into you, then so be it.”

And as her mother walked away, nearing the door to the outside, Audrey said, not loudly but enough to be heard, “I love dad. He’s a great father. He understands me and he loves me. I can’t say the same for you.”


She stayed inside her car, relishing the somewhat cozy aura, despite the fact that she knew everyone was pretty much already aware of her arrival. Because really, how inconspicuous could a red Jaguar in a small suburban high school be?

Lei sighed and leant her head gently on the steering wheel. She wasn’t sure if this was the day she would finally see Audrey within the halls of her new school, but what she was sure of was that she wasn’t ready. Her brief encounter with the raven-haired girl the day before left her reeling in different unwanted emotions, and if not for Kristen’s calming presence afterwards, she would still be in her room, not even contemplating the idea of attending her classes.

She hated the feeling that Audrey left her with: an insurmountable feeling of loss. Lei remembered when she was once a headstrong person, the one breaking hearts instead of the other way around. She remembered being the girl who knew who she was, a Charles-Carlson, an heiress, the girl who made her parents proud. She was once a person who knew what she wanted, and then took it.

And then, she just had to fall in love.

Now, she couldn’t even bring herself to get out of her car because she couldn’t bear the thought of seeing Audrey. She went through all the trouble of transferring schools and living in a place far from what she was used to, and for what? So she could forget all about how the one person she once trusted the most ripped her heart to shreds. So she could forget and forego and move on. So that she wouldn’t have to be reminded every single day of how painful it was to still be in love but not be able to trust the one person that could make her heart just stop beating.

And she wasn’t even close to achieving any of what she had originally meant to achieve for herself.

“Fuck this,” Lei groaned in annoyance and that little hint of anxiety, just as someone tapped on the tinted window of her car. She looked to her left and saw the one person who could probably put a smile on her face even in the midst of everything. She rolled her windows down.

“What’re you doing?” Kristen smiled in that friendly way of hers and Lei couldn’t help but smile back. “Class is about to start and you’re still here?”

“I don’t know if I want to go to class yet,” and Lei saw the look of consternation on her friend’s face, “I know. I know it’s stupid. I’m already here and I look all set for class but I don’t know if my head is,” or my heart, but she couldn’t get herself to say it. “Just… I don’t know if I have the right mindset to get to class.”

Kristen only looked at Lei, an eyebrow raised, and then she stepped back. “Get out of the car, Lei.”

So the brunette did what she was asked to do. After rolling her window back up, she opened the door and stepped out, closing the door behind her.

“Come on,” and with that, the blonde linked her arm to her friend’s, “I’ll walk you to your class.”


“You look refreshed this early in the morning,” Julia teased as she closed the door to her house and greeted the other girl waiting for her just outside her backyard.

Sven’s reply was a groan and a roll of her eyes.

“I see you’ve maintained your very sunny disposition, Sven.”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s just get moving.”

“You seem awfully eager for school,” the redhead poked her friend’s arm as she smiled.

“Whatever you say, Jules.”

They kept walking in relatively comfortable silence. Julia liked walking to school every morning, and she found it even more amusing when Sven walked with her. She was glad Wright-Duncan was just a walking distance away from her house so she always had the opportunity to travel that small distance by foot and relish the safety of the neighborhood. Sven lived a little farther from her house so they didn’t constantly have the chance to walk together, but when they did, Julia always enjoyed it.

Especially when Sven was being her usual grumbling self.

“How’s the band going?” Julia asked, striking up the kind of conversation that she knew Sven would gladly – albeit not showing it – be a part of.


Or not.

“Wanna give me some more details other than that?” The redhead looked at her friend and it was then that she noticed how out of sorts Sven was. Distracted. More distracted than usual.

Sven shrugged. “We’re practicing. Figuring out some good musical arrangements. Planning on recording a demo some time from now. Nothing huge.”

Julia gazed at Sven, concern on her face but she doubted the other could see, what with looking at anything other than the redhead herself. “Well, that’s progress, right? You’re not excited over the demo?”

Another shrug. “Just plans, Julia. Like I said, nothing huge.”

“So, other than band related, there’s nothing huge going on in your life right now?” and she goaded a little more, “Nothing huge you wanna talk to me about?”

This time, Julia noticed that slight misstep. An off-balance Sven tried her best to rectify, to hide. But Julia saw.

“What?” Her friend still had that indifferent mask on, but as Sven turned towards Julia and then turned back away, the redhead just knew.

She closed a gentle hold on Sven’s arm, “Anything wrong, Sven?”

The other girl scoffed, “Other than what’s already wrong in me to begin with?”

This was Sven’s defense mechanism talking. This wasn’t Sven, Julia’s friend. This was Sven, the girl who turned to cigarettes and sex and drugs to keep from crossing the border to breaking down completely.

Julia was unperturbed.

“What’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything.”

And here, Sven stopped, just outside school grounds. And for once, they stood not side by side, but with Sven in front of Julia, eyes boring into each other. Blue on brown.

“Why are you even still my friend, Julia? I don’t deserve you.”

Julia’s eyes widened in shock, but just as quickly narrowed in barred anger. Where was all this coming from? “That’s bull and you know it.”

“No. That’s exactly it,” a slight pause, an intake of breath. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t do this pushing away shit with me, Sven. It’s not gonna work.”

“Well, what will?”

Julia smirked, in annoyance and that tad bit of affection she always felt for her friend. “Nothing will. You’re stuck with me.”

At that moment, Sven’s gaze shifted from her eyes to somewhere else. And instead of just the usual distraction, it lingered.

Julia was witness, even for that short while, as the other girl not just looked. But stared. Not in passing. But intently.

And for the life of her, the redhead could not remember a time when she saw Sven look at anything like that…other than that one moment in the alley. So long ago.

The day that changed Julia’s life.

Before she could turn her head to look, for herself, at what suddenly caught her friend’s interest, Julia felt warm hands on her cheeks, holding her head in place. And Sven’s gaze was back at her, once again looking at her.

This time, the other girl wasn’t just smirking. Sven was smiling, genuinely. “So, I’m pretty much stuck with you, huh?”

And Julia couldn’t think of anything else. Not whatever it was that Sven was looking at other than her.

Just of deep, brown eyes. And warm hands on cold cheeks.

And how she wanted those hands somewhere else entirely.

Julia swallowed inaudibly to clear her throat.

“Yeah…yeah, you are.”

And that smirk was back again, “Well, can’t say I didn’t warn you, Jules. I’m hell of a lot to put up with.”

“I already figured that out long ago. Guess what?” and this time, the redhead covered those hands with her own, “I’m still here.”

End of Chapter Eleven…

Coming Soon on Of Tears and Broken Hearts:

I…I wasn’t –” Kristin started to say, but stopped herself. She of course knew that she was avoiding him. That, at least, was plainly obvious to her and apparently, to him as well. What she really didn’t know was the reason why and she surely didn’t know how to answer him if he asked.

I don’t think this is gonna work, Kris,” and his sudden honesty and frank delivery caught her by surprise. She expected a confrontation, an inquiry. Not this.


Gasps. Pants. Harsh shallow breaths.

She was now just barely aware of where she actually was as she felt the hard concrete on her back, the cold seeping through her bare skin. Her bare flushed skin.


“It’s just…your eyes.”


“They’re a,” and she blushed realizing what she was actually doing, “beautiful shade of blue.”

Chapter 16

Title: Final Notes - This is NOT goodbye.

Author’s Notes:

After more than 2 years of writing Of Tears and Broken Hearts, I realized that if anything, I am not the writer that I was when I started this, and neither am I also the same person. I’m sorry that I can’t go on penning this little pet fic of mine, but even if I pressured myself, I really will still remain unable to continue with this.

It’s not yet the end, however. To those of you who have read this, I know that more than anything, it is the characters of this story that people found amusing and/or interesting. Therefore, I have decided to create another story, an alternate universe fic of sorts in which the same characters from OTABH that have been dear to us would also still be the same kinds of characters in this new story. The background of the characters will be different, of course, as with some of the descriptions we’ve come to remember from OTABH. But think of them as reincarnations of OTABH characters in this new fic.

I know that some of you may be disappointed that after a year of not bothering with posting, I come up once more only to say this. But, personally, I think of this as a step towards the right direction. Hopefully, you’ll like this new fic the same as, if not more than you liked OTABH.


(Hope to hear what you guys have to say about the new fic soon!)


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