Mia
"Fuck, Fuck, FUCK!" I shouted as I rushed inside my room, slamming the
door behind me.
Why do I always mess these things up? It must've been the fifth time already
- maybe it's a sign, I'm just not meant to be friends with Lisa.
The first time was the worst, it was my first day at Tremont's College and I
got the usual butterflies in my stomach sensation. I remember it took me
almost two hours just trying to pick out an outfit to wear, my nerves wasting
most of my time. I started out by wearing a simple pair of torn jeans and
a white shirt, then I realised this would be too casual for my first day of college.
Then I wore a knee-length dress that was too loose to be slutty but too tight
to be comfortable. I went through 8 more outfits until I finally decided to go
for a short pleaded skirt and a summery rather than clubby halter neck top.
I tied my hair back with a black clip that looked dark in comparison to my light
brown hair and I breathed in a couple of times, readying myself for what I thought
would be a nerve wracking day.
Surprisingly it went better than I thought, I met a couple of friendly people who
introduced me to everything and I ate lunch with a big group of people whom
I eventually made friends with. I met the smart people; the funny people, the
beautiful people and I found that everyone was more integrated than I was
used to. Everyone mixed with each other and there was no group that idealised
itself on one category - which made me feel more welcome, and safe.
Then as I was just about to go home with a couple of girls I met earlier, I
saw her talking to a teacher and laughing. She looked beautiful, and so confident.
Her blonde hair held back in a long, straight ponytail and her eyes glimmering
two different colours - one green and the other blue, and they looked absolutely
hypnotic. I found myself staring at her for what felt like an eternity. While I
never questioned my sexuality before I knew I wasn't just staring at her in awe
but in attraction.
She finished her chat, picked up her bag and went towards her locker. I stepped
back behind a pillar in the hallway just enough to see her and yet not be seen
by her. She opened her locker, took off her hair-band and brushed her hair
clean with her fingertips - shaking off the tightness it held. She pulled out
some books and placed it into her bag, dropping half of them on the floor. Just
then one of my new friends called out my name.
‘Mia - are you coming?'
I moved from behind the pillar into the open space and she turned around and
looked at me as I walked through the hall - her eyes entrancing me.
‘I'm coming, just have to get a drink first!' I yelled back as I walked. I stopped
next to her and smiled, then helped pick up her books.
"I'm Mia, I'm new here ... I'm a 2nd Yr" I said while picking up the books, not
looking directly at her.
"Thanks. I'm Lisa. I'm president of the 2nd Yr, so you're very lucky meeting me
on your first day". She laughed.
I noticed she wore a black top that read ‘Evanescence', a band I have been
in love with since forever, and loose fitting jeans covered in spatters of paint.
I tried to think of a witty retort, or something interesting to say but my mind
was blank and I just smiled weirdly at her. I think she noticed this because
she quickly shoved the books in her bag, got up and waved as she walked off.
I tried imagining how I must of looked to her then, a shy new girl - flat personality,
and awkwardly weird. I fell back on my bed and closed my eyes.
God I looked like a weirdo then! I bet my mouth was half open drooling... ugh
I'm such an idiot. Then I thought back to today's events and I cringed.
I don't get it, why can't I just talk to her without looking stupid or making her
look stupid. What's the big deal anyway? So she's cute... and funny, and smart
and confident and .... Oh who am I kidding? Why would she want to be friends with me?
I picked up the duvet, draped it over my face and tried to relax, then I heard my
phone ring.
"Hello?" I answered still under my duvet.
"Mia! Why haven't you answered any of my texts? I've missed you babe."
It was Jay, my on-again, off-again boyfriend.
"Oh sorry Jay, you know how it's been - new place, new college. It's very stressful
and I haven't had time to speak to anyone back home."
We spoke for a while until I finally relaxed and fell asleep - just after convincing
Jay I was too tired to see him tonight.
I had a very strange dream that night, I can't remember entirely everything but
I remember I was running through a forest. I was really scared and lonely and
I could hear Jay and Alex and all my friends back home calling my name but I
couldn't find anyone. Then suddenly in front of me I saw Lisa - she held her
arms out to me and called for me.
"Mia.... Mia.... YOU STUPID COW!"
I woke up finding my sister having a hissyfit.
"Mia!! You didn't pick me up! It was pouring down, I waited an hour and I couldn't
even take the bus because I was waiting for you. I called you 5 times! I had
to get a lift from this greasy kid from school who couldn't stop eyeing me up.
What the hell?"
"Oh shit Ann I'm so sorry. I completely forgot... I was driving around with some
of the new people I met and I lost track of time. I'm really sorry!"
She huffed and sat down on her bed. "So why couldn't you answer my calls?"
"Your calls?" I reached for my mobile and found the screen blank. "You didn't call me."
She got up and grabbed her phone. "I did, I called you 5 times! Look!" She thumbed
through the keys and showed me her recent dialled list.
"Oh hun, that's my old number. Remember I lost it 2 weeks ago. Anyway I'm
sorry - I promise it won't happen again!"
"Yeah well it better not, dad didn't give you the Jeep so you could just have fun
with it you know!"
She turned back to her side of the room and got dressed, then collapsed back
on her bed.
"Oh man what a day! Our school is planning this dance kind of thing and
we're all supposed to go with dates and stuff. And ergh this kid Jamie - the
one who drove me home today, thanks for that by the way, he keeps trying
to ask me to the dance. I hate him. I hate this stupid thing of going with boys.
All the boys in my school are so immature, they're not like Jay or any of your
friends. Why can't I just go with my girl friends?"
She carried on talking and talking the way she usually did, asking and answering
her own questions filling me in with her daily stories without ever remembering
she was really upset with me 10 minutes ago.
"Yeah it's the usual school scenario, they'll always make you go to dances.
Well if you want to stay up to date with all the gossip and info that is. Be happy
with kids your age, sometimes they can be more mature than guys my age. Jay
isn't mature - all he thinks about is food, football and sex."
We talked all night until we both fell asleep, or rather until Ann fell asleep and
I followed.
I didn't dream about Lisa again, I think I dreamt about eating candy floss on
a big boat - don't ask me what it meant, maybe I was just craving some sweets.
**************************
To be continued.....
**************************
Email me at ireallyloveanime@gmail.com for any thoughts, comments etc..