Story: To Hell and Back (chapter 1)

Authors: Heartofstone

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Chapter 1

Slowly I walked over to the crimson machine, cautiously lifting my leather “tails” as I mounted the collection of power. Starting the engine I pulled the solid black helmet down to cover my face. Speeding off into the night, I left the house that had tormented me for so long. Leading out from the front door were boot prints in blood, my blood. That one was definitely gonna sting in the morning.

 

I pulled up outside the familiar porch of my safe haven, the only place where I felt loved. My parents had never looked out for me; that was my job, I paid the bills, I got the food, I fought my fights. Alone. That was how I had felt for twelve years, then I came here; I found the “scoobs” I found my family, I found my home all on my own. I couldn’t help but feel a small sense of accomplishment each time I saw her face, she may not be mine, but I will be forever hers.

 

The curtains twitched as the sound of the engine filled the little street; before I had even cut the motor the door was already open, and there she was stood in her pyjamas and robe she couldn’t have looked sexier even if she tried. A soft welcome smile adorned her face, she knew the time but she didn’t care. I’ll never understand her.

 

Making my way to the door her smile fell as I removed my helmet to revel my crestfallen expression, hanging my head low I walked past her into the warmth and safety that I did not deserve. Behind me my boots left their trail as my leather coat floated around my legs. As I turned around she was already there, her green eyes full of concern and worry. She held my cheek in the palm of her hand forcing my eyes to meet hers, there were tears behind my eyes but I would not allow them to fall as I had.

 

I trembled as I brought my hand to meet her soft cheek, looking into her eyes for what seemed like and eternity before the dark consumed me causing my limp body to fall. I waited for the thud of contact but there was nothing; I caught small glimpses of her neck and jaw as she carried me upstairs while I floated in and out of the dark.

 

I woke to find my ribs and abdomen bandaged tightly and small butterfly stitches by my hairline. I groaned in pain as I tried to sit up, a forceful hand on my shoulder pushed me back down to the bed. Looking to my left Buffy was sat up dressed and reading some description of trashy novel.

 

Hang on, was I in her bed, did she put me here?? I think she must have heard me cos she’s talking to me; but I chose not to listen, too wrapped up in my own pain.

 

*Fine Faith you don’t have to say a word, but at least I deserve an explanation why your blood is in my living room.*

 

My face must have said it all, I was surprised that she recognised it, but I still didn’t want to talk about it. Just because I’d do anything for her doesn’t mean I’d tell her everything.

 

*Don’t ignore me Faith, don’t shut me out. You’re my friend, you’re my family now, you’re like a sister to me. Annoying at times but always there.*

 

I looked into her emerald pools, right into her; how could she say that, that’s all I mean to her. A sister? My eyes told her everything, my pain, my suffering. But not what I felt. I turned away as she tried to reach me once more.

 

*You went home didn’t you*, I bowed my head down, *You went home, oh my god Faith, you didn’t hurt him did you?* For  some reason I found the tree in the window really interesting, cos I had been staring at it for ten minutes now.

 

*You went home to find him. Jesus Faith I know what he did to you, but there was no need to hurt him. Christ you didn’t kill him did you?*

 

I span my head to look at her, “I went back,” Buffy’s resolve softened as my words broke the silence. “I went back to find him, to find him and make him pay for all he did.” I pulled myself up a little ignoring the pain. “I went there to get him. It was so dark, so late when I got there. I found him sleeping in his room.”

 

Buffy was listening intently with a morbid fascination taking in each word, or at least pretending to.

 

“It would have been so easy to do it while he was sleeping. But I wanted him to look me in the eye first. He had obviously been waiting for me to come back, like always the son of a bitch slept with his hunting knife. I said my piece and he came out with all this stuff about how he hated my mom, and me.”

 

Buffy tried to comfort me by placing a “sisterly” hand on my arm. Her soft skin and gentile touch burnt me to the core, but I didn’t flinch.

 

“He tried to kick me out but I pushed him back across the room, he went mega banzai and came at me. I wanted to fight back but his cowardess, his pathetic being stopped me; so I let him, I let him hurt me again. Damnnit he almost killed me and I let him do it just like before.”

 

I didn’t have to look at her, I could tell she had her mommy look on, you know when you scuffed your knee and your mom wanted to make it all better. I went to get up out of bed, but she laid me down again, tucking me back up under the blanket she laid down with me in some sort of hug. I hated it when she did that. It almost made me

believe that she cared.

 

*you need to sleep Faith, you’re not going to be healed this morning so just sit tight.*

 

I looked across to her with my eyebrow raised, *Faith as hard as you try you still haven’t got the “rock stare”* a little smile crept across my lips.

 

I can’t sleep anyway, I don’t want to sleep. Nothing she could do would make me want to stay anymore much less sleep. She started to gently run her fingers up and down my arm; ok nothing would make me want to stay except that. I let myself sink into the bed and into her arms; who knows when this was gonna happen again.

 

She absolutely had to stop doing that. Things like that make people think things, very farfetched things. Let’s face it she didn’t feel like I did, she wanted to know about me, but she didn’t want to know me.

 

When I woke up Buffy had gone, something to do with work. Dawn had been put in charge and loved it. She took the time to do the annoying little sister thing, do nothing but ask questions.

 

“So. Buffy said it was a huge demon that got you last night. How big was it? Do you think we should tell Giles?”

 

Nice cover B, let me fill in the blanks.

 

“Yeah the s.o.b was huge, I’d say eight foot. Really oafish and kinda dumb.” Yep sounds like my old man.

 

Dawn was writing all of it down; she tried really hard to be a part of the gang. It was kinda cute in an annoying sort of way. I went on for hours about the ‘fight’ she just took it all in like a sponge.

 

Soon B got home, she came into the room as I was getting dressed ready to go. I felt her eyes inspect my bare wounds. “See something you like B” In an almost sarcastic look from her I gathered my things.

 

“You know Faith, you’re always welcome to stay here, and we have the room.” There was nothing in her voice that made me want to stay, but once more I didn’t have a choice. I may not have any wounds left, but as I went to leave the room I fell into her arms once more.

 

I wasn’t awake, but I could hear voices. It was B and Red talking, I could feel someone else there too; ah Kennedy, I really wish she would speak up, she always knew how to take my mind off things especially when it came to B.

 

“I don’t know what it is Willow; the first time she collapsed she was bleeding real bad. But just now she looked fine, and well look at her.” I could feel something in her words, it almost felt like concern. But experience had taught me not to read into things too much.

 

“It’s ok Buffy,” Kennedy’s voice gentle and calm. “Willow will take care of it; don’t worry if there’s a problem she’ll find it.” A couple of seconds later I felt another smoulder on my arm as she touched me once again.

 

I woke several hours later; Buffy was sat in a chair to my right sleeping over the bed with my hand in hers. I really didn’t want to move but I had to get out before it happened again, before I believed it again. Carefully I pulled my hand from hers and began to get dressed again. Heading to the door yet again I felt it again. I clutched my stomach as the pain brought me to my knees.

 

Blacking out again, I felt the floor this time, cold and unforgiving. My nose crunched as my face connected.

 

“Jesus, Faith! What the hell are you doing to yourself?” I could hear her but I still couldn’t focus. At least the lengths of the blackouts were getting shorter. Pulling me up to her chest once again I took in the sight of her soft neck and memorised the smell. Carefully she laid me out on the bed yet again.

 

“B what is going on?” I winced as a twinge of pain filled my abdomen. Again she forced me down.

 

“Willow checked you over a few hours ago,” I had to jump in I really needed to go.

 

“Yeah and I’m five by five B, look no wounds no scars. Why can’t I go?”

 

Buffy had her perplexed look; you know folded brow, pouted lips. She looked cute when she tried to concentrate.

 

“It’s got something to do with your wound. Something like, because it was made by a mortal it becomes a mortal wound. Your slayer healing will help, but you won’t be fixed completely for a couple of days. But we still don’t know about the blackouts.”

 

I sunk my head into the pillow, mouthing several curses.

 

“Look on the bright side, time off work,” I rolled over, she was happy she’d won, I had to stay. “Willow says that you should sleep, helps the healing process.” With her matter of fact smile I’m sure.

 

I couldn’t sleep anymore I had to get out of here I had to leave, *I can’t sleep twinkie. I’m in the mood for doing stuff, I’m not tired.*

 

“Hey if it’s gonna help, you have to Faith. You can’t leave here hurt; it’s like my mom said, hang on I’ll be right back!” Buffy got up that quick I never registered leaving.

 

About ten minutes later after some rapid banter downstairs Buffy tried to enter the room as not to disturb me ‘sleeping’.

 

*Nice try B* as she sat down in her chair.

 

“Damn, you heard me. Did I wake you?” she was pouting in defeat.

 

*Yeah, it was such a wicked cool dream too. There was you, me and this really springy bed…*

 

“Faith! Don’t get all sarcastic with me, it doesn’t suit you.”

 

*Look I can’t sleep and there’s nothing you can do about it ok?* I felt the bed sink behind me as Buffy climbed in with me gently spooning my curled body trying not to hurt me.

 

I could feel her cool skin against me, I still didn’t wanna sleep, I wanted to do something but sleep wasn’t it. Oh no she wasn’t, she couldn’t. Now that was cheating.

 

*That’s cheating B* She was gently tracing patterns across my back and neck.

 

*Nice to know your weak spots Faithy.* I smiled a little relaxing at the touch. Once more she had done it. She had convinced me, she had made me believe that she felt something for me. Why else would I be here, would she be here with me, doing this.

 

For the next three days the same pattern followed, Buffy nursed me, Dawn bugged me and I just hated myself because I’d fallen in love with a straight girl. Again.

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