Looking For You <at the funny farm>:
The Wedding Scene
‘I wish Dorothy were here…’ Relena thought glumly, sending a glare towards the nervous groom.
Crash! Thump!
A darkly dressed figure landed on top of the groom. Dressed from head-to-toe in black, her only distinguishable traits were the blue eyes that weren’t concealed by the mask and the long blonde hair tied into a pony-tail.
“It’s Zorro!” Someone yelled.
“Dorothy!” Relena replied, flinging herself into her love’s arms. Dorothy pulled her into a passionate kiss. ‘These leather pants feel nice on her…’ Relena shook herself. “Dorothy, shouldn’t we get out of here?”
“Not yet, Miss Relena.” The golden blonde said with a charming, yet mischievous grin. “We haven’t had the fight scene yet.”
Zechs, seeing his cue, yelled: “Guards!”
Insert flamingo dancer tapping
“Miss Relena, please find a safe place to hide.” The former Queen of the world went to hide next to Une & Noin. Dorothy nodded to the two women.
Insert Spanish guitar
Two guards stepped forward with guns. Dorothy hastily drew her whip and disarmed them.
Crack! Crack!
She threw Relena a lecherous look, which was returned with a raised eyebrow. The pair of guards drew their swords and charged. Dorothy switched to her own rapier with a grin. She dodged and parried to the audiences’ amazement. They applauded, wondering why there was a stunt show at a wedding.
The next moment, Dorothy cut down some gossamer draperies, blinding her opponents. Four more came from a side door. Dorothy had a devious grin on her face as she cut the rope that held the chandelier up. It came crashing down upon the group.
Crash!
As a particularly pudgy guard anybody know who I’m talking about? hustled up to the masked woman, Dorothy sighed as she noticed him gasping for breath. He put his hands and on his knees, following with a signal for a “time out.”
Dorothy tapped her foot impatiently as his red face returned to its normal pink. Then, she spun him around and pushed him over where Une and Noin were guarding Relena. They promptly beat the crap out of him.
Schwing! Oops! Sorry sound effects machine malfunction
Sching!
The “Lightning Count” decided that it was his turn. He drew a rapier and stood at guard.
Dorothy brought her sword to her face in a salutary gesture. The duel began.
Insert trumpet. Clang!
The clash of the two swords rang throughout the cathedral. The crowd “ooh’ed” and “awe’d” as they watched the acrobatic fencing.
Dorothy managed to steal Zechs’ sword. As the blonde man ducked and twisted to avoid one strike, Dorothy managed to pin his coat to the wall. Zechs struggled to untangle himself, but to no avail. So he resorted to the only tactic he had left: insult. “Don’t think you’ll get away with this, Dorothy! I won’t let you corrupt my sister!”
“Actually, I was willing to pine away my years with an unrequited love. Relena came after me.” The triumphant grin was an instant reaction to the shocked silence. “She kissed me and groped me quite affectionately. She definitely has ‘magic fingers.’ I can’t wait ‘til we have some private time!”
There was a sputtering growl from underneath the coat. Dorothy decided to end it there. She left a D-shaped cut on his trousers and went to Relena.
They embraced and kissed. “Do I really have ‘magic fingers,’ Dorothy? It’s not just inexperienced fumbling?”
“It felt wonderful… Not like anyone else has had the privilege.” She blushed slightly under the mask. “Do you like my costume?”
“I love it! You look so dashing!” They both giggled.
“Well, I think its time to go, Relena, my love.” Dorothy whistled. A black horse came through the door and down the aisle. Dorothy climbed into the saddle and helped Relena up behind her.
The horse took off like a shot into the sunset.
Une looked at her watch. “It can’t be setting yet. It’s two o’clock in the afternoon!”
Noin placed a finger on her lover’s lips. “Shh… It’s for a romantic effect. Besides, it’s fan fiction! Does anyone ever pay attention to the rules?”
End
Short, but I hope I got my point across, which is... --; Ah ha! I like Zorro and shoujo-ai!
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