“Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.”
Alan Watts
Meaning in the Numbers
Maggie awoke suddenly to the sound of the creaking stairs above her cupboard under the staircase. Leaning over, she grabbed at her watch sitting upon a stack of three books.
02:59
The digital numbers glared at her through the thick, blanketed darkness and the tall woman rubbed at her eyes, a little annoyed that she was woken up so easily and at such an hour. For a moment, she pondered who could be up this early in the morning, but quickly remembered that sensei kept odd hours because of her writing.
Putting her watch back down on the books, Maggie readjusted herself in the tiny space, trying to find another comfortable position so that she could get back to sleep. Magenta eyes closed themselves unconsciously as long limbs moved themselves effortlessly through the myriad of books.
When finally, the tall girl managed to get completely readjusted and comfortable, her mind had already completely forgotten the reason she was roused from sleep in the first place. Several moments later, her breathing had become steady and her body stilled, Maggie felt herself drifting back into a peaceful slumber.
The dark haired girl was almost asleep again when the door to her cupboard opened suddenly, spooking her back awake. She cried out softly at the suddenness of the movement.
“Ah, gomen.” A soft voice whispered through the dark.
Magenta eyes blinked rapidly, attempting to recognize the dark figure in front of her.
“Honestly Maggie-chan, I don’t know how you manage to sleep like this, don’t you get sore?” The figure was now crawling her way through the books and across the tall girls’ legs.
A blush crept up Maggie’s neck to her face and she realized who the voice belonged to.
“No, Onee-san,” magenta eyes lowered to a book that was currently being clutched. Maggie briefly wondered for a moment when she picked up the book during her sleep, but quickly dismissed the thought when she became conscious of the fact that Michelle was still crawling towards her.
“Onee…san.”
Smiling, the blonde haired woman stopped a moment, taking in a small breath, “I couldn’t seem to sleep, and thought I would come down here to keep you company,” brown eyes frowned slightly, though not at all noticed by the taller girl because of the dark, “but it seems there isn’t much room down here for both of us.”
The dark haired girl sensed the drop in the older woman’s voice, and began to feel bad for confining herself to such small spaces. Maggie began to shift her body and move several books for her counterpart, “Its okay Onee-san, you can come in here.”
“Really?!” Michelle squealed out of delight and leapt forward hugging her tall companion.
Several books were jolted from their resting spots on the shelves, falling around the two girls. Magenta eyes went wide, surprised by the sudden physical contact, and watched as her watch went falling to the ground along side the other books.
03:27
Maggie’s body relaxed under the weight of her sister; she unconsciously let go the book she’d been clutching and wrapped her arms tightly around Michelle. The two stayed in that position for several moments, enjoying the contact from the other.
“Ah, oh, gomen Maggie-chan!” Brown eyes shot open and pulled back away from the dark haired woman. Michelle bowed her head down and spoke in a hushed tone, “I woke you up didn’t I?”
Shaking her head slightly, the tall girl replied, “Eh, oh, it’s alright. I don’t mind.”
Blonde hair danced in the faint glow from the digital watch and Maggie became mesmerized by it. She watched intently as Michelle fit her body practically right on top of the younger woman’s in order to fit in the small space.
Michelle began to speak while making adjustments to sit next to Maggie, “You never mind, do you? Not that I want you to mind. I like the fact that you’re so accommodating to everyone. Not that you allow people to walk all over you, because you don’t at all. You’re pretty intimidating when you want to be.”
Maggie felt a grin creep onto her face as the blonde haired woman babbled on.
“And the way you handled that dirty paper user, I bet he was surprised to find his self an even match in you.” Michelle had decided to sit half on, half off of Maggie’s legs and leaned against the younger woman, sighing contentedly.
The two women settled into a comfortable silence and enjoyed the physical contact of being close to one another. Blonde hair began to nod off a bit and Maggie unconsciously rubbed her sisters’ arms soothingly, helping her get back to sleep.
“Maggie-chan…”
Magenta eyes closed softly at the sound of her name, “Yes, Onee-san?”
The older woman picked at a loose thread on the taller girls shirt, as she debated silently whether or not to go on. After several moments, the thread looked like it was not going to come out without a pair of scissors, and Michelle gave up, resting her hand atop of Maggie’s stomach.
Another blush crept up the tall girl’s neck and face, feeling the warmth of the blonde woman’s hand lying on her belly. Michelle took another deep breath, deciding she was going to talk, once and for all. Brown eyes peered into the darkness, seeking out magenta eyes.
“Maggie-chan; you’re not going to leave me, ever… right?”
The tall girl felt her body freeze at the hesitancy in Michelle’s voice. Maggie was at a loss for words; she’d never heard her onee-sama sound so unsure and almost frightened. Magenta eyes closed, fighting back a tear that was threatening to spill. It hurt her so very much that her older sister was feeling such pain.
Fingers gripped tightly at the tall girl’s shirt, lightly pulling at it as Michelle leaned her head against Maggie’s chest. Taking a deep breath, the blonde girl pushed away any thoughts of tears; in fear of making Maggie cry.
And over something this silly. Michelle didn’t know why she’d said it. But at that moment, she felt so right in the dark haired woman’s arms; she didn’t want to lose something so wonderful. Letting go of the shirt, Michelle pinched at her cheek and looked up again into the dark, trying to find those magenta eyes that were so magnetizing.
“I’m sorry Maggie-chan. I didn’t mean to make it sound like that. We’re always going to be together, neh?”
The tall girl’s eyes widened a little bit. Onee-san… always so cheerful and strong. Maggie didn’t know what to say. She just stared back at brown eyes, admiring how large and beautiful they were.
She can’t see me through the darkness, Maggie thought. As she watched the blonde girl’s eyes, they didn’t seem to know where to look. Magenta eyes were used to being in the dark; Maggie had no problem seeing her older sister. Closing her eyes, the dark haired girl seemed to take on a grimace of frustration for a moment. After taking a deep breath, Maggie reopened her eyes and smiled slightly.
“I can’t see you that well Maggie-chan, so you’re going to have to say whatever’s on y--.. mmph!” The older woman was silenced as soft lips met her own.
Unconsciously, Michelle closed her eyes, reveling in the feeling of those soft lips. She leaned closer against the taller girl and lazily brought an arm up around Maggie’s shoulder.
Magenta eyes were closed tightly, afraid of her sister’s reaction at such a bold step. She just held her lips against Michelle’s until she felt the blonde woman’s arm move around her shoulder. Taking her cue, Maggie pushed a little harder against the older woman’s lips.
After several moments, the taller girl felt a little dizzy and opened her mouth slightly to take a breath, only to get another shock. Michelle mistook the dark haired woman’s mouth opening as an invite and slipped her tongue into the younger woman’s mouth greedily.
Maggie tensed a moment, feeling the tongue pushing itself in. It was soft, warm, and strong. Like onee-sama. Relaxing a bit, the taller girl allowed the other woman’s tongue completely into her mouth and pulled at it softly, wrapping her arms even tighter around the blonde woman’s curvy body.
The two women kissed for what seemed like an eternity, as time slipped quickly by both.
It was Michelle who pulled away first, desperately seeking the oxygen she didn’t know she was missing. Maggie grinned, breathing heavily as well, and continued to hold the older woman against her. Blonde hair spread out across the tall girl’s chest as Michelle rested her head upon Maggie’s shoulder.
The dark haired woman tilted her head slightly and kissed the top of the other woman’s head, reveling in the new feelings.
“I’m glad I came down here Maggie-chan.”
Still grinning, the taller girl simply nodded in her reply and looked towards the floor where a bit of light caught her eye.
03:48
“Time is a gift, given to you, given to give you the time you need, the time you need to have the time of your life.”
Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth.