Dreaming of Another Day
By Kathryn K Williams
Based in part on a true story
Chapter Twenty
In the girl's washroom Kris splashed water on her face, then turned to Sarah who was sitting on the edge of the sink counter. "Why do you keep helping me?" Kris finally asked.
Sarah watched her reflection in the mirror, "I told you already." She said without turning away from the mirror.
"You told me that you liked the fact that I was honest about wanting to be left alone." Kris straightened up, "That doesn't explain why you are here right now."
Sarah let her forehead rest on the mirror and closed her eyes, "Will, 'I just wanted an excuse not to finish the assignment.' work for you?" She rolled her head around and gave Kris a tiny smile.
"You were right." Kris turned on her heels, "You really aren't much better than Shannon is." She said as she stormed out of the washroom. She was getting more frustrated with herself and Sarah. Was the girl playing games with her heart or was she really concerned about Kris's well-being?
Sarah looked at herself in the mirror again until she could hear the door shut. She than jumped off of the counter and ran after Kris.
Kris was already rounding the corner. She wanted to get her things from class and leave. She was sick and tired of everything. She didn't care that she had Art class next period she just wanted out of this looney bin and sleep. Maybe she wouldn't go home after all.
"Kris, wait up!" Kris heard Sarah call out, nevertheless this time Kris didn't slow or stop. Sarah eventually caught up to Kris and fell into pace beside her. Sarah looked at her friend and could see anger in the girls eyes. "Ummm..." Sarah began struggling with what to say when she was cut off by Kris abruptly grabbed her by the shoulders and slamming her hard against the wall.
"What do you want from me?" Kris straight out asked, she felt her grip on reality slipping. She didn't want to hurt Sarah, but was growing tired of the strain this girl was causing on her own heart.
"Oww." Sarah said as tears began to fill her eyes, "You're hurting me."
Kris let go of the girl and stepped back. She watched Sarah rub her arms. She couldn't believe she was acting so childish. "I.. I'm sorry." Kris apologized mortified by her own actions. She quickly turned to run away when she felt Sarah grab the sleeve of her shirt.
"Wait." Sarah begged softly, almost sadly.
Kris's head sunk low and she let out a deep sigh. She couldn't find the strength to pull away any longer. When she spoke Sarah could hear the tiredness in her friend's voice, "What is it?"
Sarah stood there silently, Kris finally turned around to look at the girl. Sarah was staring at her shoes, standing on the side of one foot then the other like she always did when she was nervous. "I... I was wondering..." She said gazing around the hall nervously, "If you were going to the Halloween Dance on Friday?" She muttered.
Kris blinked in disbelief. Today alone she had hurt this girl in more ways than Kris could think of. By all rights Sarah should want nothing to do with her. Yet here the girl was inviting her to a dance, "What?" Kris was so confused by this sudden change in conversation, that she found her voice gettting caught in her throat.
Sarah pointed at a small poster that announcing that the first dance of the school year was only a few weeks away and that everyone should show up and party, "I was going to go alone and thought if you were alone then we could... I don't know, maybe meet up outside or something like that." Sarah's last sentence drifted off as the girl realized how silly she was being.
'Had that much time really passed?" Kris thought to herself, 'Is this girl really asking me to a dance?' Kris still couldn't believe what was happening. She just pushed this girl against the wall and now she was being asked if she would accompany her to a dance. Kris ran a hand through her curly hair. This was all getting out of hand. She shook her head and walked away. Leaving Sarah by herself.
Kris got back to class just in time to hear the bell telling her it was time to move to the next class. The door opened and kids started to file out heading to their chosen extra classes. Sarah finally arrived and stood behind Kris as they waited for a chance to get into the class. Jason stepped out of the class and looked passed Kris to Sarah. His eyes caught her for a moment. Sarah looked down at the floor. He turned to Kris to give her a glare, however Kris didn't notice as she slipped
passed him and gathered her things. Sarah also avoided Jason's glares and closely followed her friend.
"Kris?" Mrs. Brookholds called out as the girl rushed over to get her back pack, "Can I speak to you for a moment?" Kris stopped in her tracks and slowly looked over at her teacher to see that Mrs. Brookholds was holding her notebook.
Kris looked around to see the class was almost empty. Sarah was the only one left. She gave Kris one last look before running out of the room. Kris felt her heart sink to her stomach. Slowly she walked over to the corner of the teacher's desk.
Mrs. Brookholds held Kris's notebook out in front of her, "Very good. You'll need to work on sentence structure and punctuation more, nevertheless all in all a good start just like your other works." She held the book out.
Kris cautiously took her book back and held it to her chest. When she spoke her voice was small and distant. "Thank you." She began to turn away when the teacher spoke again.
"Is there something you would like to talk about?" When Mrs. Brookholds spoke there was a motherly quality to her voice, if she was truly concerned for her student, "I don't have another class so I'm all yours if need be."
Kris turned back to her teacher. She opened her mouth to speak, however no words came out. She was about to say that it was alright, that she would be fine, but the only sound she could muster was a choked sob, "I..." She felt her hold on her emotions beginning to slip like a mudslide on a rainy day. There was so much on her mind and all she wanted was to go home, to be left alone with her misery and pain. Or at least that is what she thought she wanted. Kris tried again to speak this time was stopped by the sensation of a tear rolling down her cheek. She brought a hand up to wipe the tear away, however the more she wiped at them, the more began to fall. She struggled to regain control of herself. She was older than this. She wasn't a child anymore. She didn't cry. Kris felt her legs give out from under her and she sunk to the ground in a heap.
Mrs. Brookholds rushed over to the girl's side and gave her a hug, "It is alright, let it out dear." She rubbed the child's back as Kris let out a heaving sob. It was like all the emotion she had been holding in that past few weeks rushed forwards. The loss of her closest friend, the need to be held, the urge to be touched. All of it came out in a mass of heaving sobs.
"I'm sorry," Kris kept repeating over and over again, "I don't want to hurt anyone. I want to be left alone. Why won't everyone leave me alone?" She asked between sobs. She was so tired. All she wanted to do was sleep and never wake up. It was not like there was a use for her in this world. The doctors told her she would not last to her twentieth birthday so why was she struggling so hard to live? Why didn't she just give up? She was just a pathetic little child. Nothing special, why couldn't people see that? Mrs. Brookholds held Kris and for the first time in years Kris let herself be a child again. She curled up in the woman's arms and let the pain wash over her.
Kris didn't know how long she was in Mrs. Brookholds class. Time seemed to wash together in her mind's eye. After a while she was able to regain control over her emotions, or was it that she had finally let go of enough of the pain to be able to face the world once again? When she finally able was to regain control the final bell announcing the end of another school day rang. She slowly uncurled herself from her teacher's lap and wiped the remaining tears away, "I'm sorry." she mumbled again.
"It is alright," Mrs. Brookholds soothed softly, helping the girl to her feet, "I could tell from your writing that something was paining you deeply." She grabbed a tissue from her pocket and dried the girl's eyes, "If you ever want to talk things over you know where to find me." She said with a warm smile.
"Thank you." Kris sniffled, "There is so much on my mind I have no idea what is going on."
"Then if you need someone to bounce things off of feel free to visit me." The teacher patted the girl on the shoulder, "Don't worry about your fifth period class. I'll tell them that you were here helping me out."
Kris took one last deep breath, "Thank you again." She turned before stepping out of the classroom and into the hall filled with students.
*******
To be Continued....
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Authors Notes: This story is based on a true story. All names and places were changed to conceal their identities. This was written in an attempt to help me cope with my own insanity. If you find any errors, typos and the like feel free to email me at Kathryn@KatAndNekoManga.ca
If you wish to see some of my other works (art and manga) feel free to visit us at http://www.KatAndNekoManga.ca and thank you for taking the time to read my stories.
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