Dreaming of Another Day
By Kathryn K Williams
Based in part on a true story
Chapter Thirteen
Again Kris found herself lost in thought. She could not get her mind off of Thursday and what ever this gay youth group was about. Kris never felt the need to go to any gay events over the years. It wasn't until getting stuck in the hospital that she even thought of herself as a lesbian. She always considered her love for Jennifer as a natural thing. Part of her knew it was not considered proper for two girls to fall in love, however her mother always told her she was far from proper or ladylike. She wasn't even aware that there was a gay youth group in town. Now she was worried about what kind of people went to these gatherings. What should she wear? What should she say? Will they think she is strange for dressing like a boy? Her thoughts were swirling in her head so much that it was causing her a major headache. So lost was she to her own worries that she didn't really respond when Sarah confirmed that she could go to the club the next morning. All the nervous tension was making her feel nauseous. More then once did she find herself running out of class for the rest room. Before Kris knew it, it was Thursday afternoon and the school bell was ringing out the end of the day. Kris dragged her feet through the halls towards Tanya's locker like a convict on her way to her death sentence.
"Hey Kris," Tanya called out from her locker, "You ready for tonight?" She asked cheerfully.
"I don't know." A fidgety Kris answered, "I feel like my stomach is rebelling against me."
"You are just high-strung." Tanya concluded flatly, "You always got like that when you were nervous. You will be fine once we get there."
"I still don't know what to wear." Kris leaned against the wall next to the lockers, "I have not been able to buy new clothes since getting out of the hospital."
"Stop worrying will you." Tanya slammed her locker shut and locked it, "No one is there to judge you. You'll be fine. I'm just going in this." She gestured to the overalls and camouflage t-shirt she had on. She looked at her friend and noticed how pale the girl was, "You want me to come over and help you pick something?" She suggested.
Kris shrugged, "Maybe." She was unsure if she wanted Tanya to see the disaster her apartment was in, "My place is kind of a mess." She stated flatly.
"So what? My room is always a disaster area." Tanya laughed, then took Kris by the hand, "Come on! We'll find something for you to wear." Kris allowed herself to be pulled out of school.
Before long the two girls arrived at Kris's apartment. Kris suddenly wished she didn't live so close to school. Tanya took the girl's keys and entered the apartment. There she stood in shock. Kris had not washed the dishes from the day before and there were clothes all over the floor.
"What happened here?" Tanya inquired in amazement stepping over a clump of clothes.
"I was trying to find something to wear..." Kris explained embarrassed.
"So you emptied all the drawers onto the floor?" Tanya asked in dismay, "I knew you were a little out of it these past couple of days, but this..." She was not sure how to phrase the words that jumbled in her mind.
"Sorry." Kris excused herself dismally and began to pick up some of her shirts off the futon and
folded them.
"Let me help." Tanya picked up a black pair of jeans from a pile, "Didn't I give you these for your 16th birthday?" She wondered holding up the pants, "Do you still fit in these things?" She asked in shock when she saw the size tag.
"Yeah." Kris picked up the pile of shirt she just folded, "I'm still in kids clothes if you can believe it." She depressingly informed as she went to the dresser to put the shirts away.
"Why don't you wear them?" Tanya asked puzzled, then she noticed the patch of cat hair on the leg, "I didn't know you had a cat." Tanya searched around the mess for any sign of animals.
"She should be around here somewhere." Kris agreed looking around, "She usually makes a nest out of my clothes. Shiva!" Kris called out, "Come out you furball." The rumpled blanket started to move as a sleepy cat began to stir and search for who was calling her name.
"Wow she is huge!" Tanya exclaimed running over to the cat, "Can I pet her?"
"Sure," Kris shrugged, "If she will let you."
"Here kitty." Tanya knelt down to pet the cat only to have the creature jump out of the blankets and disappear into the hall closet, "Awwww... Come back!"
"Told you. She isn't very fond of people, sorry." Kris walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, "Do you want something to drink?" She pulled out a jug.
"Sure." Tanya returned to picking up clothes to find a book laying spine up. She scooped up the book to read the title, "'Psychology and Paraprofessional Studies' since when were you interested in Psychology?" Tanya asked curiously.
"I don't know." Kris took the book from Tanya and replaced it with a glass of green juice, "I wanted to know why I'm so unstable. And well..." She flipped through the book and set it down on a chair.
"I would consider you the most stable person I know." Tanya told Kris taking a sip of her drink.
"Thanks." Kris acknowledged, "But I already know I'm weird so you don't have to try cheering me up." She rubbed one of her wrists.
"I was telling the truth." Tanya set her glass down and hung the clothes she had in her arms, "You really have got to stop putting yourself down so much." She took another swallow of her drink and stared at the glass with a befuddled look on her face, "What flavour is this exactly?" She wondered.
"Green." Kris said bluntly.
"Green?!?" Tanya was more confused then before, "What do you mean 'Green'?"
Kris shuffled her feet in embarrassment, "I ran out of Kool-aid and just mixed water and sugar with green food colouring. Yesterday it was yellow." Kris shivered at the memory of what the colour looked like, "I had to throw the whole thing down the sink."
Tanya laughed, "You really are insane you know that?"
"Clinically insane." Kris grinned, "I have the papers to prove it." They both laughed out.
The apartment wasn't as much of a mess as it seemed. Between the two girls it did take too long to clean up the clothes and have something picked out for Kris to wear. Their final choice was a white silk shirt, the black jeans and a her leather jacket. While Kris did a few dishes, Tanya took some tape to the infernal patch of fur.
"Say," Tanya wondered hanging jeans on the back of a chair then entering the kitchen, "How about I stay over the night?" She suggested while sitting on the counter watching Kris finish the last of the dishes.
Kris set a glass in the drain rack, "I guess..." She looked at her futon then at Tanya, "You'd have to share my bed."
"That is alright." Tanya said with a smile, "It is not like we haven't shared a bed before."
"True." Kris said feeling foolish. Tanya had slept over a couple of times when she was younger, before the kissing 'incident'.
"Remember Karen's party?" Tanya mused looking at the ceiling, "How you, Jenn and I all curled up together on the spare bed." she let out a soft laugh at the memory.
"Yeah," Kris let out a pained chuckle, "Those were the days." she let out a deep sigh, 'however that was then.' She thought to herself.
Almost as if Tanya sensed Kris's thoughts she bent closer to the girl, "I will not do anything you don't want me to." Tanya promised looking into Kris's eyes.
Kris found it hard to return her friends gaze, "I know..." Her eyes drifted to the clock hanging on the wall behind Tanya, "We should get going." Kris grabbed a dish towel and dried her hands.
Tanya leaned back on the counter, "If you don't want me to stay you can just say so."
Kris pulled the towel around the fridge door handle, "I want you to stay. I just..."
"I'll be a good girl." Tanya vowed putting her right hand on her heart and raised the other to her side, "I promise. Girl guides honour."
Kris couldn't help, but laugh, "You were kicked out of Guides remember?"
Tanya jumped off the counter, "I was never meant to be the girly type anyways. Maybe I should have been in boy scouts?" She laughed.
Kris shook her head, "I'm going to get dressed in the washroom. I'll be right out." She said as she picked up her clothes, "Thanks for getting the fur of my pants."
"No problem," Tanya waved at Kris nonchalantly, "Now get dressed or Sarah is going to be standing around waiting for us."
"Alright mom!" Kris laughed as she ran into the washroom.
Kris only took a moment to get dressed and cleaned up. Minutes later the two of them were out the door. They found themselves having to chase a bus to get downtown even though they could have walked, but would have been very late. The entire trip only took them a half an hour. By the time they arrived at the chosen gathering point, they could see Sarah already standing on the sidewalk talking to an older boy. Kris and Tanya could not hear what was being said, however it became very clear that Sarah was not finding the boy's attention welcomed. Kris started to jog up the road with Tanya right behind her.
"Leave me alone." Sarah could be heard saying to the boy, "I told you I'm waiting for someone."
"Sarah!" Kris called out as she approached the girl, "I'm sorry we're late." She stopped beside the girl ignoring the boy entirely, "How are you doing?"
"Hey is this runt your boyfriend?" The boy spat surly.
"Is this ass bothering you?" Tanya intervened standing up close to the boy.
The boy turned his attention to Tanya, "Stay out of this Dyke." He insulted.
Kris stepped forward, "I'm the only one allowed to call her that." Kris snarled.
The boy blinked at Kris, "Jesus you are all fuckin' dykes." He turned to Sarah, "Are you really waiting for these sluts?"
"Yes," Sarah answered standing her ground beside Kris, "They are my friends and if you have a problem with them then you have a problem with me."
"Why don't you come with me and I'll show you a real good time." The boy tried to convince Sarah.
Kris broke into laughter, "You wouldn't know how to give a girl a good time."
"What is so funny?" He turned on Kris.
"You asshole!" Tanya stood to her full height, "You wouldn't know how to treat a real girl right."
"Why you bitch!" He brought up his fist to swing at Tanya when Kris grabbed the boy by the wrist and twisted it hard, "You don't want to do that." Kris snarled. Her eyes took on the look of hatred, "You don't want to touch my friend." She twisted his wrist even harder.
"Ow! Hey stop it!" The boy cried out in pain, not able to free his arm from Kris's grasp.
"Now apologize to my friend." Kris was enraged at the mere sight of the boy.
Tanya stepped closer to Kris, "Kris, he is not worth it." She soothed, trying to figure out a way to calm her friend.
"APOLOGIZE!" Kris screamed out in anger and forced the boy to his knee. People were starting to take notice.
"I'm sorry." He pleaded. The moment Kris heard these words she released his arm, "Stupid bitch!" The boy yelled as he fled across the street.
"Go to hell." Tanya hollered after him.
"Kris, are you okay?" Sarah asked noticing her friend still clenching her fists repeatedly. Kris's eyes were still clouded over and she looked disoriented
"She'll be fine." Tanya grabbed Kris by the hand keeping an eye at the people watching them, "Let's get off the street." She nodded towards the Burger King as she pulled Kris behind her. Sarah ran in front of the girls and opened the door. Tanya didn't let go of Kris's hand until she had the girl sitting at one of the tables in the corner. Almost immediately after Kris sat down she began to shake uncontrollably. Her mind lost in the past again.
*******
To be Continued....
******
Authors Notes: This story is based on a true story. All names and places were changed to conceal their identities. This was written in an attempt to help me cope with my own insanity. If you find any errors, typos and the like feel free to email me at Kathryn@KatAndNekoManga.ca
If you wish to see some of my other works (art and manga) feel free to visit us at http://www.KatAndNekoManga.ca and thank you for taking the time to read my stories.
Deviant Hearts Archive | Back to main index