Story: Three Years in Hell, A Lifetime of Pain (chapter 4)

Authors: BillGopher

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Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The Next Morning…

Beth woke up as the sun broke through her window and hit in her eyes, sitting up she moved out of her bed. Looking over at the clock on her nightstand, she saw the time on the digital alarm clock showed it was 8:30. Stretching as she moved around her room, Beth moved the furniture to the edges of the room so the center of the room was open.

Standing in the center Beth closed her eyes and slipped into the first kata position she had learned. Starting slowly she moved thru the basic martial arts moves into the next level of Katas which where more complex and required more concentration. Slowly all thoughts and worries left her mind, all that was important was the flow of her movements and nothing else. As she relaxed the speed and complexity of the movements increased.

Beth heard the door open and Dawn walk in, but even this did not interrupt her concentration.


Slowing she came to a stop and picked a towel off the bed wiping her face, “Morning to you to Dawn.”

“What are you doing today?” Beth asked.

“Nothing, why?”

“I want to spend some time with my little sis, you up for a trip to the mall?” Dawn looked at Beth surprised, “Yeah, of course!”

“Good, give me a few to clean up and grab a bite and we'll head over then.”

Beth noticed that there were two groups of people shouting at each other and holding signs as soon as Dawn pulled the Jeep into the parking lot outside the mall.

“Beth what's up?” Dawn asked noting her sisters clenched fists. She knew she tended to be a wild driver but she had gotten better in the last year.

“My driving’s not that bad. I've gotten better, just ask Anya,” Dawn said proudly when she noticed the two groups of protesters at the front of the mall.

“Damn them, I’m gonna….”

“No.” Beth stopped Dawn from continuing, “I'm going to spend the day with my sister and people like that are not going to stop me and you aren’t going to start a fight with them either.”

“But Beth, why? Don’t you see what they’re calling you? Baby-killers!!”

“I don’t like it but that’s their right to do that, and th…” Beth stopped herself from continuing. She didn’t want to bring up that she was probably going overseas soon, she wanted a day with Dawn where they could just be together with no worries.

“You're going over there soon aren't you? I heard you and Mom talking last night.”

Beth placed her hand on Dawn's arm, “I wish I could say no, but I think it's why I got to go on leave.”

Dawn grabbed Beth tightly in a hug, “I don't wanna lose you again Beth,” she said softly.

“You're not, I promise,” Beth moved back to look at Dawn.

“Good, cause I'm gonna hold you to that promise then. Now lets go, we've got stores to see and shoes to buy.”

Beth chuckled to herself and the two headed into the mall.

Beth had managed to steer Dawn away from the protest scene. Even after she had spoken to Dawn about leaving the protesters alone, Dawn wanted to go over and argue with the protesters there, but she knew that it would have been a waste and it would have just ruined their day together. So they had gone inside using a side entrance.

So far this morning Dawn had been happily talking away about boys, school and whatever else came to mind as they toured the various clothing stores in the mall. She actually liked listening to Dawn talk, it was something she had missed.


“Yes?” Dawn answered as they continued walking.

“I'm sorry.”

Dawn stopped suddenly and looked at Beth and saw the regret on her face.

“Sorry for what Beth? You haven't done anything wrong.”

“No, I'm sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed someone to talk to, or to just listen to you. I know it wasn't easy for you at school, being known as the sister of a murderer.”

Dawn put her arms around Beth and held her close for a moment and then stepped back and looked Beth in the face, “There's nothing to be sorry for Beth. I'm okay, relatively normal considering my sisters’ friends,” Dawn grinned at Beth, “and I have you back in my life now. As for the rest, well I found a friend I could talk to about stuff, and she was there for me when I needed her. But she's not you and no-one will ever replace my weird big sister, the Vampire Slayer.”

Beth couldn't help the smile that crossed her face, that was one thing that did worry her. About what Dawn had gone through and she wasn't there.

“I'm not weird, I just have eccentric friends is all.” Beth replied as she smiled back at Dawn.

“Riiiight, and this explains Spike how?” Dawn teased her.

“You better start running squirt, cause I'll get you for that one!”

After Beth got her revenge on a now repentant Dawn, the two headed into the food court for lunch.

“So what do you want for lunch?” Beth asked as they weaved up one side looking at the various food stores.

Beth looked around the court noticing only a few tables left. “I'll get the food, you get the table.” Dawn started to agree but noticed some of the protestors from outside were near the Chinese restaurant, China Pavilion. “I'll get the food Beth.”

“Ok.” Beth replied as she saw Dawn had already headed towards the restaurant. Looking around for an open table Beth saw one had just emptied a few feet away and walked over to it and sat down claiming it as theirs for lunch.

Leaning back in the chair Beth looked around the food court, Beth mused to herself.


Looking over, Raoul saw his friends by the Chinese place getting lunch for everyone,

As he was looking over Raoul saw a flash of forest green and black. Moving over he saw a female soldier in fatigues sitting down at a table about 10' feet away. “Hey guys, we got a soldier-girl in here. Let's go over and say ‘hi’ ” he said with an evil gleam in his eyes.

Three others walked over with him as they walked up behind the soldier. He was hoping to surprise her and have her surrounded before she could react.

As he got within a few feet of the soldier she was out of the seat and facing them,

Beth had a sudden intuition about something from behind her and stood up and turned. She found herself facing four young men in their 20's, all were wearing clothes with anti-war protest logos. Beth thought to herself.

“Hey soldier-girl, what'cha doin here? Why don't you go ‘play’ being soldier somewhere else, we don't want your ‘kind’ here,” Raoul said loudly. He motioned his friends to surround the soldier, “Are you listenin to me girlie? I said we don't like your ‘kind’ here. You gonna do something ‘bout it?”

Beth noticed his ‘friends’ move to cut her off, but she kept her attention on the leader of the group. As much as she wanted to say something, she knew that it would only make things worse. “Why don't you just move on, I'm not looking for trouble here.”

Raoul looked at his friends and then looked at the scared soldier girl, “Ooooohhh!!! She wants us to move on guys.” Raoul poked the soldier in the chest hard, “I think you're looking for trouble, I heard what you people did to those kids in Paris. ‘You’ shot women and children and tried blaming radicals and the UE for it, you ought to be shot.”

“They've got the bullets that you used as evidence,” seeing she hadn't reacted Raoul poked the soldier in the chest again and stepped closer to her. “You're nothing but murdering scum wearing a uniform.”

Beth was trying to be patient and not break this idiots’ fingers, one at a time, but she knew she couldn't. She had to stay out of trouble and starting a fight wasn’t staying out of trouble, when she heard Dawn's voice from behind her

“HEY STUPID!!” Dawn yelled at the leader and shoved the protester in her way to the side and stepped up in front of the leader of this ‘group’. She had seen Beth surrounded by these idiots and had heard what they had said, and it made her blood boil. “Yeah, I'm talking to you ugly.” She poked him in the chest hard.

Dawn saw the leader look down at her, surprise written all over his face. “Are you listening to me or do I need to write it down for you so you can understand me. Oh wait,” Dawn smiled evilly, “I forgot, you never graduated elementary. So how can you read?”

Raoul couldn't believe that this girl was talking to ‘him’ this way, “You don't underst...”

Dawn cut him off, “No, you don’t understand. This is ‘my’ sister you're talking to and I don't like what you're saying about her. I'm proud that she's my sister and that she's in the Marines and you should be thanking everyone like her 'cause they're the reason you can whine and complain all the time,” Dawn poked the leader again, Now you have about 10 seconds to apologize and drag that smelly carcass of yours along with your friends away from me before I hurt you.”

Dawn turned her back to the man and looked at Beth, “Hey Beth, you okay?” she asked as she smiled at her sister.

“I am now that my sister is here, thanks” and Beth pulled Dawn into a hug. Dawn looked over at the leader, “Why are you still standing there? Go! Shoo!!” Dawn waved her arms in shooing motion.

Finally the protesters drifted away from her and Beth, “Morons,” Dawn said under her breath.


Later the next day…

Faith pulled her motorcycle West Freemont Avenue. She couldn't shake the feeling from the cemetery. Someone or something had been watching her, she didn't feel threatened but still she couldn't shake the apprehension that was forming in the pit of her stomach. .

Faith entered her apartment, juggling the bags of groceries. A flashing red light caught her attention and she made her way over to her answering machine. “Faith this is Will, I just wanted to let you know that Buffy is back in town and she's heading to L.A. She knows that you’re out of the hospital but that's about it. Page me if you need me. Oh and she goes by Beth now. Bye!”

Faith stumbled backwards slightly as Will's words sunk in, And then it hit her Moving over to the table Faith put the bags down and then flopped in one of the chairs and leaned back holding her head

Faith got up and moved over by a shelf with several pictures on it, picking one up she gazed at the picture of her and Beth together, smiling at the camera. Placing the picture back on the shelf, she moved back towards the phone, “Thanks for the warning Red, at least I have a few days till she arrives here.”

As she started to pass the phone she saw the red light was still flashing on her answering machine and hit the "PLAY" button for the last message

“Faith, This is Gunn, I need a favor. There's a small nest of vamps that's setup shop over in the old meat-packing district over on East Haledon. My crew can't get to it and Wes and Angel are tied up with something from Wolfram & Hart.”

Faith quickly grabbed the few items in the bags that had to go in the 'fridge and put them away. Faith thought excitedly as she ran towards the elevator to get downstairs and to her silver and black motorcycle.

Beth walked up to the doors of the Hotel Hyperion, which was the home of ‘Angel Investigations’. Pushing open the double-door, Beth stepped into the lobby and walked towards the front desk. As she approached it, she saw Cordelia sitting behind the front desk talking to Wesley.

Cordelia saw a female soldier walk into the hotel and walk towards her and Wesley, as the soldier got closer to them she saw a face she’d thought she’d never see, “Buffy?!?!” running out from behind the desk she grabbed Buffy and hugged her. “B-But…” Cordy stuttered. “How are you? What are you doing in LA?” Raising a hand Beth halted Cordy’s barrage of questions.

“Hi Cordy, Wes. How are you?”

Wesley stepped forward, “Buffy, it’s good to see you. What brings you up to LA?” he asked cordially.

“Actually I’m here to see Angel…” when from behind her she heard the front door fly open, “Hey, Cordy! You can tell Gunn to scratch one vamp nest.” Turning Beth saw the one person she hadn’t wanted to see today, Faith.

Stopping suddenly about 10' feet away, “B???”

“Hello Faith,” she said with a cold smile that did not reach her eyes. “It’s been a while, glad to see you’re up & about and moving on with your life.” Beth said bitterly. Turning back to Cordy, “Tell Angel I’ll call him later,” and walked past Faith without a word and out of the building.

After Beth had stormed out of the hotel, Faith looked up at the ceiling and shook her head, “Thanks for the warning Red, great timing there,” she muttered under her breath. Looking back at Cordy she saw her staring at her. “What with the stare Cordy? On second thought, don't tell me. I’m out of here,” and Faith stomped angrily out of the hotel door.


Several Hours Later…

“Hi Cordy, it’s Beth. Is Angel there?” Beth asked tersely.

“Beth??” Cordy asked puzzled, “Uhmm, hold on one sec.”

There was a brief pause and then a click in the background, “Angel,”

“Angel, hi.” her tone softened as she heard Angel's voice, at least now she'd get some answers.

“Buffy, I heard you were coming up to LA. What brings you up here?”

“For a couple of reasons, I need to see you and get some answers.”

There was a short pause, “Okay, we can meet at ‘Caritas’, its a karaoke bar.”

“A karaoke bar Angel?” Beth asked curiously.

“Don't worry, you'll understand when you see the place. I'll meet you there at 6PM.”

Beth arrived at the address and stared at the non-descript looking building. Her fatigues had gotten her several strange looks in this part of town so far, sighing she entered the building and her first sight was that of a large metal detector down the hallway and a demon bouncer who seemed to be taking weapons from anyone before entering the bar.

Walking forward Beth walked thru the metal detector, and heard music coming from the doorway into the bar. Stepping in she saw a large bar on her right and towards the back was a stage with a microphone.

However the sight that actually surprised Beth was that the bar's patrons were humans and demons! In the center of the floor she saw the tables and at a side table to the left she saw Angel and a green-skinned, horned and red-eyed demon talking.

Beth headed over towards the table, and saw the demon Angel was talking to turn around and look at her strangely for a few seconds.

“You're right Angel.” Turning he stood up and took the young woman's hand and kissed the back of it, “You my dear have a very interesting aura for a Slayer.”

Beth stood shocked, first that he had kissed her hand and second that he had known that she was a Slayer. She remembered most demons trying to tear her hand off, not kiss it.

“Please take my seat, I was just leaving,” The Host said to her. “Angel, we'll talk or in your case, sing later.” And he left with a flourish and headed over towards a Slime demon, “Rilo! It's been a while…”

She sat down in the seat that the green demon had just left. Angel noticed the look on her face. “That's the Host, he's a bit...different, but he's harmless. You look good.”

“Interesting ‘friend’ you have, how did he know I was the Slayer? Did you tell him?” As she sat down she looked around the room carefully.

Beth saw Angel shift uncomfortably in his seat briefly, “He ‘guides’ humans & demons, it’s something you need to do to understand better. Now what was it you wanted to talk to me about?” he asked seriously.

Beth looked in Angel, “Faith.”

Angel leaned back a little now that he knew what Beth was digging into, “What about her? She's done a lot of good the last few years.”

Leaning forward, “What's the deal with her? First Wesley, now Faith. Everyone who tries to screw up my life comes to work for you now?” Beth said angrily.

Irritation flashed across Angels’ face briefly, “That’s not true Beth and you know it. So stop looking for a fight you can't win.”

“Then why is she working for you?”

“She's not, she was doing a favour for a friend, Gunn. And even if she was working for Wesley and Gunn, what business is that of yours Beth?”

“She took my life from me that’s what!” she yelled. Several of the patrons looked over at the table and just as quickly saw the look on Beth’s face and decided to pay attention to something else.

Shaking his head, “No, she didn’t. She was in a coma, Wolfram & Hart and the Mayor’s ex-cronies did that Beth, they wanted you out of the way and that’s what they got for a while. You don’t know what shape Sunnydale was in after you were gone. Once the word got out that there was no Slayer, vamps and demons came out of the woodwork, and Giles, Willow and the others had their hands full trying to keep things under control. After Faith came out of her coma, you don’t know how hard she worked for over a year to clean out Sunnydale and make it known that it was ‘off limits’ to demons.”

Beth just sat there in surprise as she digested what Angel had told her,

Leaning forward towards Beth, Angel saw her shocked expression and knew that some of what he was telling her was sinking in. “Beth, she did a lot of evil and she’s trying to atone for what she did. I’m not saying you should forgive her, I know you’re angry that she’s moved on and you’re in the Marines. But you can’t judge her by what she was without looking at what she’s done with her life since then.”

Beth slumped back in the chair “I…I don’t know Angel. I just see her and I don’t know if I want to hug her since she’s alright or punch her since I’m so angry at her. I’m not sure what to do.”

“How about talking to her then?” Angel signaled the Host who nodded.

“What are you talking....” as Beth looked over and saw Faith walking towards them.

Faith stopped in front of her “Hi B, or is it Beth now?” she asked. Faith was dressed in faded blue jeans, black shirt and a light, leather jacket. Beth just stared, Faith the woman she had both dreaded and wanted to see was now right in front of her. she could her Taylor's voice in her head. .

“It's Beth, and why are you here?” Beth asked angrily as she looked at Angel.

Standing up, “Because you two need to talk, and as I've been told, ‘there's no time like the present’. I've got a Polgara demon to see and you two have things to talk about,” and Angel was gone.

Faith sat down in the chair Angel had just vacated, “Look Beth, Broody's got a point...”

“And that would be what Faith? There's not a lot to talk about.”

“B, I’m sorry for what happened…”

Beth cut Faith off before she could continue, “Sorry? For what exactly? You have a rather long list to choose from.”

“Yeah I do B, every night I see all the evil I did and every day I try to do something to make up for it.”

“Well you know what Faith, I'm ‘happy’ you're finally doing good. But you know what? We both know who really killed Finch, but I'm the one who had my life stolen from me, not you!” Beth angrily stood up. She could feel her cool start to seep away.

Pacing right up into the dark slayers face, “All I have now is the Corps, and I can't even retire cause it’s a lifetime sentence till I'm dead! So you think about that while you're ‘doing good now’ cause now matter how much good you do you can never give me my life back!”

“You know what B, I don't have to take this...I didn’t do anything to you, the Mayor did,” Faith stood up, refusing to back down to Beth, “Everyone's got their problems B, some are worse than others. But speaking from experience, getting 3 meals a day, a roof over your head and a ‘home’ is a hell of lot better than some of the things I had to do to get by from day to day. So don't go acting all ‘high and mighty’ on me, cause it ain’t gonna fly with me.”

Turning, Faith strode out of the bar, as she exited the building Faith felt the tears burning her eyes as she struggled to control them.

Faith hopped on her motorcycle, quickly starting the engine and gunning it as she flew down the street. Her only thought right then was to get away and think.


Beth watched the door close behind Faith, as she tried to get hold of her temper. Anger flooded her veins as she slowly controlled the urge to hit something or someone. But in the back of her mind was the fact that she ‘felt’ better after confronting Faith.

Angel watched Faith slam through the door and made his way over to Beth.

“I'd say that pretty much went about as bad as can be expected, do you feel better now Beth?” Angel asked as he sat down.

Beth felt her temper start to flare and stamped down on it, refusing to let Angel know how angry she was. “What did you expect to happen Angel? After what she did, did you think I was gonna tell her all is forgiven?”

“No I didn’t. But then I didn’t expect you to attack her either, you have changed and not all for the better either Beth,” Angel replied.

Beth sat down angrily, not sure what she was more annoyed about. That she knew Taylor would say the same thing or that Angel was right.

“She’s not the same person she was. But then neither are you. We’ve all got dark places in our souls. But you’re so busy being angry at the world for what was ‘taken from you’, you can’t seem to realize that your life is coming apart because of it. Stop blaming everyone for what happened and move on with your life.”

“You're one to talk Angel. If I remember correctly, you're Mr. Brood, now all of a sudden you're Mr. Groove, hanging out with demons.”

“That's a low blow Beth.”

“No, you know what's a low blow Angel, you telling me that my life is falling apart. You don't know anything about my life.”

“No? Elizabeth Anne Summers, convicted of the murder of Deputy Mayor Allan Finch on Feb 15, 2000. Judge granted you the choice of life in prison or life in the Marine Corps. You chose the Marine Corps and attended basic training that summer and then advanced combat training in December 2001, later assigned to 13th Mobile Expeditionary Unit, Charlie Company, 1st Platoon. When you were assigned to your latest unit you met Corporal Steven J. Taylor, father of Samuel Taylor and married to Mary Elizabeth Giardello-Taylor.”

“But more than that Beth, you didn't just take the fall for Faith because she was a Slayer or because you put her in a coma or whatever the reason is that you convinced yourself why you protected her so strongly from everyone who came after her. All this anger and resentment you keep telling yourself you feel and to push her away isn't real, you're using it as an excuse not too see the truth that you're deeply in love with Faith and that she feels the same way towards you.”

Angel raised his hand to stop any denials that he knew were coming his way. “Look Beth,” Angel stood up and moved in front of Beth, “don't say it. Just ‘think’ about what I’ve said, don't just dismiss it out of hand. Okay?”

Angel turned motioning to the Host and exited through the side door.

Later the next day

Faith leaned against the cool wall of the warehouse, as she tried to rest a moment. Dropping the bloody sword, Faith checked her wounds and saw most of them weren’t too bad, they'd be healed by tomorrow. But this little hideout with the six Vamps and the two Thorgal demons were more then she had expected.

Picking up her sword Faith wiped it off on the body of the closest demon and then covered it up with a blanket that was lying nearby, and started walking towards the exit. As she exited the building Faith looked around and headed over towards her motorcycle. She stored the sword and kicked the engine to life, pulling out she stopped at the corner. The street was empty except for a few bums across the street, but something felt 'wrong'. Shaking her head, Faith gunned the engine and took off down the street and towards her apartment.

Beth made her way down the stairs of the building and came out on the street, for a second day Beth had been watching Faith. She had found out where Faith lived before she went to Angel's yesterday. Beth shoved her hands in the pockets of her winter camo jacket and headed towards her rental car.

As Beth headed towards the car, she cast one last look at where Faith had pulled out and saw something that caught her eye. Walking over she crossed the street and saw a small wallet sized picture and picked it up.

Looking closer, Beth saw it was Dawn was dressed in a formal dress and over her shoulders was a black, leather jacket. Turning the picture over Beth noticed the writing on it. “Faith, thanks for a great birthday!! Glad you could make it. Love, Dawn.” At the bottom was the date, “April 1, 2001”,

Walking back to her car, Beth got in and started towards Faiths' apartment,


Beth pulled her car over and parked it next to the building where Faith lived. Getting out Beth walked in to the bottom level of the warehouse, which was filled with piles of rusting metal pipes, wooden pallets and other junk. But about 75' away she saw a freight elevator and headed towards it.

Once at the elevator Beth pushed the "CALL" button to bring the elevator down, over here she did notice the area was swept clean of junk just as the elevator arrived.

Faith heard the elevator when it went down and waited for her 'guest' to arrive. As the elevator gate opened she was shocked to see Beth stepping out.

“B, you here to tell me more about how I’ve screwed your life over?” Faith asked angrily.

“No Faith, I’m not. Actually I’m not real sure about a bunch of things now.” Pulling the picture out of her jacket pocket, “But you dropped this, I thought you’d like it back.” Beth held the picture out towards Faith.

“Oh, thanks B,” Faith took the picture and flipped it over and saw it was the Dawn’s picture that she carried.

“Nice picture. But Faith, why do you have a picture of Dawn?” Beth asked as she walked further into the ‘apartment’, which seemed to be the entire second floor of the building. She could see the kitchen, bedroom and living room since there were no walls, only sheets to give the illusion of individual rooms. But the other half of the floor was partitioned with a wall and only one door could be seen to enter it.

Turning Faith watched Beth as she walked by and moved towards the couch. “You wanna sit?”

Beth sat down on the end of the couch, “So why do you have a picture of Dawn Faith?”

Faith sat down on the opposite end of the couch, facing Beth and sighed loudly. “After I came out of the coma I knew I had fucked a lot of things up in my life, especially people who had tried to help me. I went looking for you, but no one was talking to me at the time not that I was surprised, so I went to see your Mom and hoped she listen to me. I told her everything B and she let me prove that I meant what I said to her about changing.”

“She did? What about Dawn though?” Beth asked, very curious now.

“Well that came later, at first I started helping Giles, Willow, Tara & Xander. Mostly on the sly, since they didn’t trust me. But after a while they saw I wasn’t the ‘old’ Faith and gave me a second chance and so did your Mom. I was sort of visiting your Mom a lot and I saw Dawn a lot, she was having a lot of problems so I tried to just listen to her when she needed to talk.”

Faith shifted uncomfortably, she didn’t like talking this much but she knew that she had to tell B everything. “She’s like a sister to me B. I’d do anything to protect her, she’s family. That goes for Xander, Red & Tara too, but especially Red. When I moved out here, she called to check up on me and how I was doing or just say hi, constantly. She helped out with the Wicca-stuff when I needed it, you’re lucky to have her for a friend B.”

Beth leaned forward and looked Faith straight in the eye, “Faith, how bad was it in Sunnydale with me gone? Angel said it was bad, but he clammed up about it.”

Faith looked around, anywhere but at Beth before she exhaled loudly and looked at her. “It was real bad, there was a curfew from sundown to sunrise. Vamp’s roamed the streets at will during the night, and demons were constantly moving in. When I started helping them they were in pretty bad shape. They were doing their best, but there were too many vamps. Red & Tara were able to hold their own mostly, especially Red, she got real powerful and she was casting more powerful spells almost every night.”

“Oh,” Beth replied softly and clamped down on her feelings of guilt for failing her friends.

Faith heard Beth’s reply, but she saw the look on her face before Beth’s face turned into an emotionless mask. Scooting over Faith put her hand on B’s. “B…Beth, it wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have done anything even if you knew” Faith felt Beth’s hand clench.

“But I should have….”

“NO. You couldn’t have done anything B. You’re gonna have to let it go, I know what’ll happen if you don’t. You’ll end up angry at the world and blaming it for everything, you’ll be just like I was. Don’t do that. Please.” Beth’s hand relaxed under hers. Faith suddenly realized she had moved very close to B while she was talking to her, but B didn’t seem to mind.

Suddenly Beth’s beeper went off, grabbing it she moved it up to read the message, *RTBRFD* (Return To Base, Ready For Deployment) “Faith, something’s up with my unit I have to go. Can we talk later?”

“Yeah, I’d like that too B,” With one last look at Faith Beth turned and made her way back into the elevator.

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