Story: Three Years in Hell, A Lifetime of Pain (chapter 12)

Authors: BillGopher

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Chapter 12

[Author's notes: Nothing new.

Rating - M-ish mostly.


Feedback – most definitely wanted. Thoughts, suggestions, criticism, whatever. I can’t fix something if I don’t know it’s broken… You can reach me at]

Chapter 12

Angel Investigations

Images bombarded Cordelia; Beth in chains in a small, dark, dank room. Beth screaming in pain as she was being tortured and beaten. Beth asleep in a bed somewhere wrapped around Faith.

With her head throbbing from the vision Cordy opened her eyes slowly, “Beth. It was Beth, she was alive but she was being tortured and held somewhere. I couldn't tell where, ‘they’ wouldn't tell me. God my head is killing me this time. Can't they do this without the mind-numbing pain all the time?”

Anything else?" Angel asked.

“Yeah,” Cordy rubber her temples trying to make the pain go away. “She was with Faith and I got the feeling they're ok. We have to tell Giles and her Mom Angel.”

“No we don't. Something isn't right. It's better if everyone thinks of her as dead for now, or at least it’s safer this way. I want you to go talk to Willow and Tara. Find out if they've noticed anything strange going on down there.” Angel waited for Cordelia to nod before turning and walking out the door.


UC Sunnydale
2 Days Later…

Cordy pulled her car into the parking spot in front of the building where Willow and Tara lived.

Willow opened the door on the fifth knock. “Hold on! Cordy?” She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. “It's what...”

“4 AM,” Cordelia answered her.

Willow glanced at the clock in the hallway. “Yes it is, and sane people would be asleep. What are you doing here?”

Cordy made a hissing sound, taking in the dark circles under Willow's eyes. “Retract the claws for a second, witch girl. Angel sent me.”

Willow opened the door wider, motioning with her arm for Cordy to enter. “That's nice Cordy but it’s still four in the morning. Couldn't you have come at a more normal hour? Wait! Angel sent you. What's wrong?”

“Calm down Willow, take a deep breath. Is Tara here? Of course Tara's here.”

“Wills hon, come back to bed!” Tara's voice called out from the bedroom.

Willow walked over to the bedroom door and stuck her head inside, “Tara, get up. We have company, Cordy's here.”

“That's nice Will,” Tara replied sleepily.

Willow walked into the bedroom and disappeared from sight. Minutes later Willow walked out followed by a still sleepy Tara wearing a blue robe.

Willow sat down on the couch and Tara sat next to her. “So why did Angel send you here?” Willow asked as Tara snuggled close and leaned her head onto Willow's shoulder as she closed her eyes.

“Two days ago I had one of my fun, pain-inducing visions from The Powers That Be, it's about Beth Will...she's alive!”

Tara's eyes popped open and she sat up. Willow's intense glare penetrated Cordy to the bone. “If this is a joke Cordy...”

Cordelia raised her hands in mock-surrender, “No joke Willow. Beth's alive, I don't know in what kind of shape she's in, but she's alive though.”

Tara studied Cordelia for a minute and then turned to Willow, “She's telling the truth. Beth’s alive.”

Willow's face turned ashen in shock, “But we saw...the funeralwhataboutthebodyandtheMarinesandeverythingelse?”

“Willow, did you ever ‘see’ Beth's body?” Tara asked.

“What do you mean Tara? I couldn't it was a closed casket...” Willow suddenly remembered something Joyce had said during their fight, “They didn't even have a BODY for me to bury Willow.”

“Oh my god Tara...” Willow thought of Dawn and Giles and how'd they react when she told them. “We have to tell Dawn and Giles, they have to know about...”

“No! We can't!”

Will turned her head towards Cordy, “What do you mean we can't Cordy?”

“That's the other reason I came down here. Angel thinks it might be better if people didn't know about Beth being alive. Better for her.”

Outrage colored Willow's features, “How can we not tell Dawn her sister isn't dead?!?”

Tara interrupted Willow and put her hand over Willow's. “There's something else going on here, isn't there.”

Cordy could hear Tara wasn't asking a question, she was making a statement. “Yeah, I don't know what. Angel clammed up and wouldn't say. He did want to know if anything strange has happened recently.”

Tara looked at Cordelia briefly, “What else is going on? You know something Cordelia.”

“I...I'm not sure. I didn't tell Angel because I saw something and I didn't understand it...I still don't.”

“What was it Cordy?” Willow asked. “Tell us, maybe we can help you.”

Cordelia fidgeted in the chair for several minutes as she dredged up the memories of the vision and replayed them in her mind. “There were two things,” Cordelia closer her eyes as she started to speak. “The last part of the vision with Beth was peaceful compared to the others, Beth and Faith were asleep in bed wrapped around each other. But it was the last image that I don’t understand. I was standing on a hill looking at the sun when suddenly the sun turned black and the sky darkened and turned into night. The ground shook like there was an earthquake and there were loud screams all around me as if millions of people were screaming in pain. I don’t know what it was and I don’t want to.”

Willow saw how visibly shaken Cordelia was as she recalled the vision. “Cordy, what else?”

Cordy finally opened her eyes and looked at Willow, “It felt like the end of everything….”


5 Days later…

The last week had been good for both of them. They hadn’t seen any patrols out here, and they had finally gotten some rest, something Beth had needed very badly. Beth’s injuries had started healing, although Faith suspected there might be some scars left. Beth had even managed to start gaining some weight back as her appetite had increased over the last week and she no longer looked like the scarecrow she had pulled out of the prison.


Faith walked back into the bathroom just in time to see Beth struggling to get up out of the tub and failing. Dropping the clothes Faith rushed forward and grabbed Beth before she could fall. “B, you gotta be more careful!” Faith instantly regretted her harsh tone when she saw Beth's face fell.

“Was trying to get up, wanted to do myself.” Beth's voice rasped out.

Faith sighed, “I know B, but you're still weak. You've gotta take it easy right now.”

Faith leaned over and snatched a nearby towel and then scooped Beth up out of the bathtub. “Here's the wall B. Stay, I'll be right back.” She leaned Beth against the bathroom wall and turned to retrieve another towel.

Faith turned around just in time to see Beth move her hands along the bathroom wall as she tried to walk using the wall as a guide.

Beth’s foot hit a patch of water and she tumbled backwards into Faith’s arms who scooped her up and carried her into the bedroom before lying Beth on the bed. “B, wouldn’t it be easier if you opened your eyes so you can see?” Faith asked, not really expecting an answer.

“No! Light hurts!! If open eyes, feel pain.”

Faith kneeled at the edge of the bed her hands held Beth’s, “B, all the lights are off in here. It’s dark, why don’t you try opening them just a little? Please??”

Beth turned and ‘looked’ at Faith, “What if hurt? Scared Faith-mate.”

Faith ran her hand gently down the side of Beth’s face, “It’ll be okay, really. Are you afraid of the pain or what you’ll see B?”

Beth was quiet for a long time before she spoke up, “Faces…pain…blood…”

Faith's breath caught in her throat, the pain in Beth's voice was tangible. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her breathing. She had to be calm. “Whatever happened to you in there, isn’t gonna happen out here. You're safe now and I'm not gonna let anything hurt you Beth.”

“Faith-mate not run away? Not leave me alone if open eyes?” Beth asked in a small voice.

A puzzled look came over Faith's face, [Run away? Why would I do that?] Faith wondered. “B, I'm never going to leave you...ever!”

Beth leaned forward towards Faith and stopped only a few inches from Faith's face. She could ‘feel’ Faith's love behind her words wrapping around her like a warm blanket until the memory of what happened to her drove it away and all she was left was the cold fear once again. That her mate would leave and she would be alone.

Faith saw tears drip down Beth's cheeks and raised her hand to gently cup Beth's face. “It's okay B, I promise. I lost you once and I'm not going to lose you again.”

“Faith not leave? Not hate me not being strong enough?” Beth asked again still unsure of what she felt from her mate.

Faith climbed up to where Beth had pulled back into the center of the bed curled up. She put her hands on either side of Beth's face, “Nothing, absolutely nothing matters to me except that you are alive and getting well and are close to me. That's all that's important. So you listen to me B, I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to. Okay?”

Tears fell down Faith's face but she ignored them. And then it happened...

Beth slowly opened her left eye just a little, and then a little more till Faith could just see the green of Beth's left eye.

Faith leaned down slightly, “See B, I haven't gone anywhere” and she smiled at Beth as she watched Beth's right eye open slowly.

And Beth looked at her mate and saw the tears running down Faith's cheeks. She lifted her hand and touched Faith's face softly caressing it. “Mate not leave, keep promise.” Gently she pushed Faith onto her back and climbed on top of her straddling Faith's waist.

Leaning over, Beth brought her face only a few inches from Faith's, “Loves you Faith-mate.” Beth brought her lips to Faith's and gently kissed her lips as she felt Faith's hands hold her waist and then caress her back. Beth nibbled on Faith's lips and heard her moan softly into her mouth, Faith's lips opened and Beth’s tongue slipped past her lips to play with hers.

Beth moved one hand teasingly down Faith's side and slowly move around her ribs and then gently brush and tease Faith's breast.
Faith felt like she was on fire when Beth started touching her, it was everything and more then she thought it would be. Faith felt her nipples harden as the teasing touches from Beth drove her mad. She felt Beth pull her shirt loose from her pants and unbutton it, as a hand glidingly brushed her stomach and moved up agonizingly slowly again. Faith felt herself arch up into Beth's touch when finally she felt Beth cup her breast and gently tease her nipple with her thumb. “Oh god, yesss!”

Faith flipped Beth over on her back and turned the tables, with Faith straddling her. Faith gently pulled the towel around Beth off and looked down at the woman she loved and desired so badly it hurt. [But this isn't Beth...I can't...What if she thinks I used her? No, I won't do this. God I want to, I want her!!] Faith felt Beth’s fingers push her bra up freeing her breasts and Beth's lips latch onto her nipple as the other hand cupped and teased her other breast. [Oh god, yesss Beth!!] Mustering all her willpower Faith forced herself to move up and gently move Beth back from her breasts. “B, hold up 1 sec.”

A confused look crossed Beth's face, “Not understand. Want mate. Mate not want be with?”

“Yes, B. I want you more then anything. But not right now.”

“Not now? Why? Can feel you want, why not now?” Beth asked, confusion was evident in her voice.

[Think fast Faith, we don't want to drive her away.] “Because you're still getting over from being sick B. Right now you need to get better first, otherwise you might get sick again.” Faith felt her body still tingling from where Beth had been touching her and was aching to be touched.

Faith watched as B seemed to think about what she had said before nodding and moving off of Faith’s waist, only to wrap her body and arms around Faith before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep.

It felt like forever as Faith laid next to Beth and she tried to sleep.


Beth snuggled closer to her pillow and tried to ignore the light that was hurting her eyes. Lifting her hand Beth blocked the sunlight and slowly opened her eyes. Everything was fuzzy and blurred for several minutes, her eyes unused to the light. Slowly her eyes adjusted and her vision cleared slightly, but Beth forced herself to squint to lessen the pain.

Beth felt her ‘pillow’ move and turned slightly to notice for the first time that she was lying next to Faith. Actually she was sprawled across Faith's naked body and her head was resting....[Oh My God! Faith?!? Shit! I don't remember] Beth blushed as she looked at Faith's naked body and then she noticed...[I'm naked?! How the hell did I get naked and how did I end up in bed with Faith? God she's beautiful though] Beth moved slowly out of the bed, trying not to disturb Faith and quickly pulled on the pants and t-shirt she saw lying on the floor. She looked around the room trying to find something familiar other than Faith. [Where the hell am I?] Quietly she made the way to the bathroom and reached for the light switch. “Son of a...” Beth cursed as she stubbed her toe on something hard. Beth’s hand reached out to turn on the light switch and look at her toe.

Faith moved her arm from her face where it had been covering hey eyes from the morning sun. Groggily she shifted onto her side and moved her arm over by Beth, but there was nothing there. [Huh?!?] Faith's mind struggled to clear itself, “Beth?” she mumbled. “Beth are you...” When Faith saw Beth walk out of the bathroom and then suddenly cover her eyes with her hands, “AHHH! The light, it's...” Faith jumped out of bed and pulled the shade down by the window, cutting off the sunlight and darkening the room.

Beth slowly lowered her hands, the harsh light was gone. “Thanks Faith.” Beth paused as she saw Faith standing naked in front of her and looking at her with a concerned look on her face. “Uhmm, Faith? Aren't you feeling a bit drafty?” Beth asked, unable to take her eyes off the beautiful, sexy....[Hey! Stop that!!!]

Faith looked down and noticed she wasn't dressed, then it occurred to her it was ‘Beth’ talking... “Beth?!?”

Beth quirked an eyebrow, “Who else would it be and where are we?”

Faith started grabbing clothes and pulling them on, “Uhmm. that's a long story B. Why don't we get some food and start with what you remember last and work forward from there.”


Faith opened the refrigerator, pulled out the leftover cold chicken and walked back to the table where Beth was already seated. Cutting a leg off Faith dropped it on her plate, “I guess you're lookin for an explanation how you're here. It's kinda easier if you tell me the last thing you remember.”

Beth watched Faith start to eat the cold chicken and mentally sighed, this was not what she expected from Faith. She had also noticed the casual way Faith seemed to stay closer to her, almost protectively. Beth shook her head to clear her thoughts, “I remember getting captured and getting beatings for a while, but after that things are kinda fuzzy. Especially how I wound up here.” Beth quirked an eyebrow as she waited for Faith's answer.

Faith wiped her hands on the cloth napkin next to her, “I'm not sure exactly what happened to you inside that prison B. When I got there you were in pretty bad shape and really out of it. After I got you out of the prison our escape got blown to hell and we've been moving around while I took care of you for the last few weeks. I just found this place about a week ago, you were really sick and we both needed rest. Fortunately I haven't seen any French patrols so we've been able to stay and rest for the last week.

Beth looked at Faith intently, [She's not telling me something. I'm not sure how, but its like I can almost ‘feel’ she's hiding something.]

“Faith, what aren't you telling me?” Beth asked suspiciously.

Faith took a quick bite of her food so she couldn't answer and put a ‘who me?’ look on her face.

Faith watched Beth patiently wait for her to finish eating and sighed mentally. “What B? I told you what happened when I got in the picture and rescued your butt,” [And a damn nice butt it is too!! Bad Faith! No more thinking like that, Beth doesn't like women 'that way'.]

Beth quickly reached over and snatched the chicken out of Faith's hands, “Stop it with the stalling Faith, what aren't you telling me about what I don't remember.”

“If I'd arrived any later we wouldn't be talking B, when I found you it looked like you hadn't eaten anything in I don't know how long. And mentally you weren't in that great shape either.”

Beth thought about what Faith told her and was quiet for several minutes, “B? You there?” She heard Faith and felt the concern behind her words.

“Yeah, just thinking. One last question.”

“Okay, shoot.” Faith replied.

“How'd I end up naked in bed with you? We didn't....” Beth trailed off nervously, not sure which answer she wanted to hear from Faith.

“No we...we…” Faith trailed off shaking her head. “We didn't do anything B. Nothing at all.”

Beth looked up at Faith, she ‘knew’ Faith was telling the truth, just not everything, she also felt Faith's regret and sadness as it washed over her.

Beth looked at Faith for a few seconds, Faith wasn’t going to say anything else she realized. “I'm tired now Faith, I'm going to go lay down now.”

“Okay B. You...” Faith watched Beth turn and walk out of the kitchen. “ that.”

End Chapter 12…

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