Story: Stir Crazy: A silly little Noir fan fiction (all chapters)

Authors: Shanejayell

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Chapter 1

Title: One

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this fanfiction, something the world should probably be thankful for. This story features romantic inclinations between two women, as well as some very out-of-character portrayals of the two stars of Noir. If either of these things really bother you, I'd advise just skipping this fic. Enjoy!

Stir Crazy: A silly little Noir fan fiction.

Mireille puffed her breath out in a little sigh. It was always difficult, the wait between jobs, and this one was going on a bit longer than most. The graceful blonde saw Kirika looking out the window at the street, fascinated by the all the passerby, and she knew that she'd get no intelligent conversation out of the black haired girl.

She walked over to the pool table, pulling out her chair to settle in front of the computer dressed only in her panties and a T-shirt. Mireille clicked on her secure mail account, checking it for any new assignments, but there was nothing yet. Casually, she began to surf the 'net, checking out her favorite web sites as well as any that stirred her interest.

So engrossed was Mireille in her internet surfing that she didn't even notice Kirika standing right behind her until the girl calmly remarked, "You've got porn on your computer."

"Eep!" Mireille quickly closed the window on the lesbian erotica site, whirling around to look worriedly at Kirika. The younger woman had her typical deadpan look, though there was just a bit of amusement in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" Kirika asked her simply.

"Don't sneak up on me like that," Mireille gasped out. Kirika just looked at her oddly, but it gave her a chance to recover her composure. She looked at the dark haired girl, and realized that they had been cooped up together in this little apartment for the past two days straight. 'No wonder I'm getting a bit jumpy,' she thought.

Kirika tilted her head to the side, looking at her curiously.

"We're going out," Mireille suddenly declared, getting up and walking over to her dresser to pull out a set of fresh clothes.

"We are?" Kirika blinked.

"Yes, we are," Mireille said firmly. She looked Kirika over and said dryly, "You might want to get changed."

Kirika looked down at her clean if plain T-shirt and shorts, then up to Mireille. "Into what?" she asked her reasonably.

"Something nice," Mireille's voice dropped down into the dangerous range.

Kirika shrugged silently, then she moved off. Mireille picked out a long red skirt and white blouse, slipping them on quickly over clean panties and a fresh bra. Matching purse and shoes, a summer jacket over it to help conceal her gun, and she was ready to go.

Kirika stepped out, and Mireille blinked I surprise. The black haired woman wore black pants and jacket, both in a boy's style. A gray T-shirt, black shoes and gray socks finished off the striking look that the surprisingly boyish girl was carrying off.

Kirika noticed Mireille's gaze and asked softly, "Is this all right?"

Mireille smiled, "You look good."

They locked up the apartment, venturing out into the streets of Paris. The city was vibrantly alive all around them, as these two dark maidens of death moved along, the people unaware that beautiful angels of death stalked among them...

"That's fairly pretentious," Mireille noted, looking up at the piece of florid description the Author just wrote.

"Hmm," Kirika agreed in her quiet way.

The Author decides to move right along.

They walked on for awhile, eventually sitting down to have some lunch at a nearby cafe. "Have I ever taken you out drinking?" Mireille asked her companion curiously.

"Not in the episodes the Author's seen," Kirika answered her coolly.

Mireille nodded firmly, "All right then, let's go find someplace where you won't be carded and get you a drink."

Suddenly a chibi-Kirika pops up, holding up a sign saying, "The Author does not advocate under-age drinking. Thank you and have a nice day!"

Mireille swings a giant mallet and sends the chibi-Kirika flying into the distance. "That thing was creepy," she said to Kirika softly.

"Uh huh," a wide-eyed Kirika nodded.

Mireille frowned, "But where are we going to find a bar like that?"

Just the a redhead walked by their table, accompanied by her blue haired companion. "It really sucks that our movie only got a wide release in France, B-ko," the redhead in a Japanese school girl's uniform complained to her friend.

"I feel your pain, A-ko," B-ko agreed. She perked up a bit, "Wanna go drown our sorrows over at Arisugawa's Locket?"

"Sounds like a plan," A-ko agreed, and the two headed off.

"That was a convenient plot device," Kirika noted.

"Let's go," Mireille took the dark haired girl's hand, leading her along.

They left their table and followed the two women down the familiar streets of Paris. They finally turned a corner and saw the bar, a bouncer standing in front of the door. Above it a neon sign read, 'Arisugawa's Locket.' The muscular young woman nodded to A-ko and B-ko, letting them inside with a wave.

Kirika looked at their quite familiar surroundings, then over at the bar. "Was this here yesterday?" she asked Mireille softly.

Mireille gave her a frown, "It's always been here."

"Yes but," Kirika started, "but was it always here, yesterday?"

Mireille sweatdropped.

They made it by the bouncer fairly easily, Kirika offering Mireille her arm in a gentlemanly fashion. It felt a little odd, but the bouncer ate it up. A cheerful girl offered to take their coats, of which they both declined, then they made their way over to a table.

"There's only women in here," Kirika noted, looking around the bar.

Arisugawa's Locket was quite an interesting place, Mireille noted. It had the expected bar, though the twin bartenders there looked a bit odd, long blue hair and all. The dance floor wasn't that unusual, though the music being mostly Japanese seemed a bit strange. But over to one side were dining tables, being served luscious smelling meals from the kitchen, and just beyond that was a library, bookcases, couches and all the rest.

'I'm just glad that the karaoke isn't on,' Mireille noted, spotting the empty stage in relief. She looked over at Kirika and asked, "Do you want to leave?"

"No," Kirika shook her head slightly, "it's all right."

Mireille scanned their surroundings, noting a table with several off duty police officers sitting there. The tallest, a brown haired woman, got up to walk over to talk to an orange haired woman leaning up against the bar. She started to read their lips, when her view was blocked by a cheerful, blonde headed young lady.

"Hi, I'm Excel," she smiled at both Mireille and Kirika cheerfully, "What can I get you?" A hand was placed on her shoulder, and the orange haired woman from over at the bar smiled down at Excel comfortingly.

"Why don't you come back later," the orange haired woman made it a order, not a question, and Excel left. "My name's Arisugawa Juri," she smiled at the two of them as she gracefully pulled out a seat and sat down, "welcome to the Locket."

Mireille and Kirika exchanged a glance, and then the blonde smiled at Juri smoothly as she introduced herself simply as, "Mireille."

"Kirika," she said softly.

"There's a rule in the Locket you might be unaware of," Juri said to them pleasantly, "we prefer that the customers be unarmed." A little smile, "Could you please surrender your weapons? They'll be returned when you leave."

Mireille looked up to meet Juri's eyes, noting how the woman prepared herself for their possible reaction. 'She's good,' she thought even as she asked her, "Can you guarantee our safety?"

"If someone comes after any of my customers," Juri chose her words quite carefully, "they have to go through me first."

Kirika met Juri's eyes steadily, weighing her words. Then from under her coat she smoothly produced her gun, laying it down on the table. Mireille hesitated for a moment, then she followed the other woman's lead.

"Can I serve them now?" Excel suddenly popped up, startling them all.

"Don't do that!" Mireille gasped, clutching at her chest dramatically even as Kirika smiled slightly, remembering startling Mireille that was earlier that day.

Juri carefully collected the two guns, "They'll be up at the bar with Ryouko and Minagi when you're ready to go."

"Thank you," Kirika said simply.

"Think she knows about the other weapons we're carrying?" Mireille asked Kirika softly once Juri had left them.

Kirika softly answered, "Probably."

Mireille looked across the table at her companion, weighing her words carefully as she asked, "Would you like to dance?"

Kirika's eyes showed a bit of surprise, then she smiled a little, "Yes."

Mireille stood up, offering her hand to Kirika. They went out on to the dance floor together with her taking the lead. Kirika followed her gracefully, the smaller woman looking up at her with just a little smile on her face. Kirika wrapped her arms around Mireille's neck and drew her down into a gentle but very thorough little kiss.

"That was wonderful," Mireille said softly, hugging Kirika close.

"Hmm," Kirika agreed, then "Too bad it's only a dream."

"What?" Mireille blinked in surprise...

....when a soft hand shook her awake. Mireille noted with a bit of irritation that she had dozed off on top of the keyboard, and that the letters were indented into her cheek. The web browser was open to a fan fiction webpage, about some anime series.

Kirika quietly said, "You fell asleep reading."

"Guess so," Mireille blushed faintly, thinking about her odd dream. She got out of her chair, stretching and then she saw how dark it was outside, "I'd better get to bed."

Kirika watched her move off silently, then she thoughtfully noted what the webpage was before clicking it shut.

Mireille was nearly asleep when she felt her slip into the bed right beside her. She turned to meet Kirika's calm gaze, "What..."

"Shh," Kirika placed her finger against Mireille's lips, before she snuggled close.

'Is this a dream, too?' Mireille wondered, even as she hesitantly wrapped her arms around the smaller woman's body.

The End... ?

Author's Notes: This started out as an simple appearance of Noir in my Arisugawa's Locket fic, but even at the time it kind of bothered me. They really were sort of out of character (OOC) in their appearance, but I couldn't do much about it then. But eventually it occurred to me it might be fun to do an totally OOC fic about them, so here it is. I should say that I've only seen the first few episodes at an anime show quite a while back, so if I get things really wrong, please forgive me.

The movie Project A-ko, from which the characters of A-ko and B-ko are taken from, really did have a broad release in France. The conversation about the bar 'always being there' is based around a very similar sequence in Soul Music, by Terry Pratchet.

Arisugawa's Locket, for those who don't read that series, is an lesbian bar that exists across multiple dimensions, allowing for crossovers with a broad variety of fictional universes. The bar's owner is Arisugawa Juri from Revolutionary Girl Utena, Ryouko and Minagi are from Tenchi Muyo and Excel is from Excel Saga.

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