ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
By Janine
Part One
I watched her as she slept; the moonlight was bathing her pale skin, illuminating her. I thought she looked lovely, but then again I always think that she looks lovely. I'm a nauseatingly romantic idiot that way though I never would have thought to describe myself like that—or maybe never could have described myself that way —until recently. I should have been with her in the bed, holding her, but I couldn't sleep and I'm a tosser and a turner and I didn't want to wake her up. My insomnia wasn't constant anymore, but every once in a while it still reared its ugly little head and I hadn't been finding it as inspiring as I had before Hill House. As for Nell, her insomnia — which was caused, as far as I'm concerned, by essentially being enslaved for a large portion of her life — had gone completely.
"Theo?" she murmured softly into the dark of the room. I wondered when she was going to detect my absence. Sometimes I didn't even make it out of the bed before she dragged me back into her embrace. Truthfully, I was a willing prisoner.
"Over here," I called out to her smiling. I saw her turn to face me. I was sitting in the windowsill, which was the only reason she was able to make me out in the dark.
"Come back over here," she said patting the spot beside her I had vacated earlier.
"I'll just keep you awake," I responded even though I was already moving towards her as I spoke. I sometimes likened her voice to the call of the Sirens—only without the death of course.
"That's okay," she responded snuggling up against me. I wrapped my arms around her and drew her closer against me.
"I doubt that you'll feel that way in the morning," I said placing a kiss on her forehead.
"I think that you're confused," she mumbled as she kissed my neck.
"Really?" I asked raising both eyebrows even though I knew she couldn't see.
"Yep," she responded. "After all I'M the morning person. YOU'RE the one who's in bed until noon everyday."
I smiled. She had grown so much since we had left the house. It was like the ordeal had cracked the shell she had been forced into all those years ago by her mother and then later her sister. She was like a caterpillar finally let out of its cocoon, and she was absolutely stunning. She was the same sweet, caring Nell that I fell in love with so many months ago, but now she was so much more than that and I loved her more and more everyday.
"With you in bed with me it's a miracle I get up at all," I responded a moment later smiling rakishly.
"You're a fiend," Nell responded, but I could hear the smile in her voice.
"You still love me," I said joining our hands together under the blanket.
"I do," she responded squeezing my hand.
"I love you too," I told her earnestly.
"Show me," she said softly, sliding her body on top of mine.
"Now who's the fiend?" I asked playfully before capturing her lips. There was an upside to being an insomniac and I had just found it.
When my eyes next opened it was just beginning to get light outside. I was rarely awake at that time of the day. Late to sleep, late to rise, is still my philosophy. Nell's head was resting on my shoulder and she had an arm and a leg draped over my body. It was heaven on earth, and I decided to savoir it for as long as possible. Lying there soaking up our closeness I found that my mind started to wander, and much to my surprise I found my thoughts heading back to the day that I arrived at Hill House.
{Unlike one would expect driving up to a place like Hill House, it was a sunny, beautiful autumn day out. There wasn't a raindrop, or thundercloud in the sky to serve as a warning to the impending doom I was about to face. Perhaps the aghast looks on the faces of the townies when I mentioned where I was headed should have served as a clue, but rural folk have always confused me so I paid no attention.
So, oblivious to the perils that lay ahead of me I drove on, a brave warrior heading to the front line. Yeah, right!
"Interesting," was the first thought that popped into my head when I first laid eyes on Hill House. She was definitely a big sucker. There was something cold, and disturbing about her, I could feel it as I drove up. But, there was also something magnetic and beautiful about the house. It was like it was an original, and it knew it. My instincts told me to turn around and leave the place, perhaps go back to the little bed and breakfast down the road that looked so quaint, but I didn't listen to them. And I'm glad that I didn't, because in Hill House the bad was accompanied by the good, and the good was very good. The good was Nell, and she was worth everything.
The interior of the house was no different than the exterior—that meant way overdone—but once again, I kind of liked it. Swinging the last of my bags over my shoulder I let Old Dudley lead me to the stairs. Halfway up them I heard some footsteps on the level above me and was about to ask who was there when I spotted a brunette woman appear at the top of the stairs.
"Hi," I said looking up at her. "Don't worry, I'm not an obsessive packer. It's just that getting people to help me schlep these things around is a cheap and exploitative way of making new friends," I continued finally making it to the top. "Here," I said taking the bag from over my shoulder and handing it to her. "I'm Theo," I said extending my other hand.
"Eleanor," she said taking the bag with one hand and shaking my extended hand with the other. "But everyone calls me Nell," she continued with shy little smile. I liked her immediately.
"Well, 'everyone calls me Nell', don't you just love it here? Love it," I said as we headed down the hall. "It's sort of Charles Foster Cane meets the Munsters or something," I continued a smile tugging at my lips as I looked around.
"I like your boots," Nell commented as we continued on down the hall.
"Do you?" I asked looking down at them. "They're Prada…Milan not New York," I added somewhat vainly. "But they're killing me," I went on with a shrug. "Hey, it's a small price to pay for such savage kicks," I finished plastering a grin across my face I knew to be sexy. If there was one thing I knew it was sexy.
My bedroom was the first and only stop on the tour. I must say that I was quite pleased with the décor of the place—with the exception of the creepy little cherubs of course. After the big, bellowing painting at the top of the stairs I was starting to fear what the artwork hanging in the guestrooms may have been like. Still, it was something else.
"Oh my god," I muttered walking in. "This is so twisted," I continued looking around. "Seriously twisted."
After that Old Dudley started droning on about something in the background but I wasn't paying any attention to her. At first, after everything went down, I used to wonder if things would have been different if I had listened to her that day instead of jumping on the bed like sugared up five year old. If maybe I would have been more ready to listen to what Nell was saying in those dark days to come if I had heard Dudley's warnings. But, then I realized that it was me I was considering and even if I had listened to her I probably still wouldn't have believed her. I most likely would have just started to call her 'Crazy Old Dudley'. Such is my way, it isn't always a good way, but such is my way. Cie la vie.
Taking a running start I flipped onto the bed my head landing in the soft pillows. As I settled down Nell started to fill in Old Dudley's sentences, no doubt nearly driving the woman mad with her teasing interruptions. Looking annoyed she quickly finished what it was that she had to say and exited the room post haste. Ducking my head down behind the collar of my jacket, so that only half of my face was showing, I looked over at Nell and wiggled my eyebrows.
"My room is right next door to yours," Nell said a moment later. "I think that we share a bathroom."
"Oh, don't worry," I piped up. "I probably won't be in here much," I continued sitting up. "Light sleeper," I added smirking.
"That's why we're here," Nell agreed.
"What do you do Eleanor?" I asked standing up as I took off my jacket. I absolutely had to change out of what I was wearing. Also I wanted to have a little fun with her, it was bad I knew, but I wanted to see her reaction.
"I'm between jobs right now. The last one ended, over, so," she responded letting the sentence die unfinished. There was something in her voice that told me that there was more to it than that, but I decided not to ask. I was already making her nervous. I was only in my slip and I had seen her focus in on my partially clad chest before promptly turning her back to me. "And you?" she asked.
"Well, I'm suppose to be an artist," I responded. "But I've been distracted from work by love. You know what I mean?"
"Not really," she responded with a little shrug.
"Hey, don't tell me Boston's different from New York," I responded looking up at her.
"Oh…you mean you have a problem with commitment," she said catching my drift. I smiled, I couldn't really explain it, but there was something about her that I really, really liked. You might even say that I was immediately taken with her.
"Well, my boyfriend thinks so… my girlfriend doesn't," I responded. "We could all just live together, but they hate each other," I continued absently before reaching over and tapping her on the shoulder. She had the bag that I needed. She slowly turned around, no doubt in fear that she would find me standing there stark naked ready to pounce on her. When she saw that I was clothed, a bit, she relaxed somewhat and handed the bag to me.
"It's hard when you're the only one at the party, you know?" I asked. The question was rhetorical, but she answered me anyway.
"No," she responded. Once again I was struck by her honesty. Already, just from the five or so minutes that we had known each other I was beginning to wonder if she had an insincere bone in her body. People like her didn't exist in the real world, or at least I had thought they didn't. I certainly hadn't met any of them.
"Blank canvas," I said observing her. "I could paint your portrait directly on you," I continued. I really hadn't meant anything by the comment, it had just been one of those weird sort of observations that people make from time to time, but the expression that came over her face once I said it compelled me to smile and add, "or maybe not."
"What about you?" I asked walking back over to the end of the bed. "Any husbands? Boyfriends?" I paused, "Girlfriends?" I asked a split second later with a grin as I dug through my bag. I just couldn't resist the last one, and I didn't need to turn around to know that it had hit its mark. "Where do you live?" I asked when she didn't respond.
"I don't have anyone," she responded softly. "But I do have a little apartment of my own. It's by the ocean, and has a little flower garden. And when the wind is just right you can hear the buoys in the harbor," she continued in a wistful tone. I didn't know it then, but Nell was often wistful. Most dreamers are.
"Wow," I said turning around, now fully dressed. "That sounds really nice. You're very lucky," I continued coming to a stop in front of her. "But you know that, right?"
She kind of nodded her head in response but she didn't responded to me verbally. While I was speaking to her I noticed that she had a hair on her shirt, so in the silence I reached out for her to remove it.
She pulled back. Violently. It wasn't a reaction that I expected, or one that I was at all used to, from anybody. It amused me.
"Oh, sorry," I said realizing that with the teasing and semi-flirting—okay, outright flirting—that I had been doing she had misconstrued the movement as some sort of come on. "You just had a little hair…" I went on kind of trailing off afterwards.
"So," I said clapping my hands together a moment later. "Show me the bathroom." I had decided that a change in topic, not to mention location was definitely needed. Nell—I had decided— was a piece of work, and getting to know her would take some time. I wasn't used to that, being the worker, and quite frankly it appealed to me.
At the request she got animated again and began to lead me across the room.
After dragging me through the halls for a while, she finally came to a stop in front of a bellowing door with a sculpture on it, or as I've taken to describing it, 'tall and creepy'.
"Wow," I commented looking up. "You won't get this from the Martha Stewart catalogue."
"I don't like it," Nell responded moving a bit closer to me.
"Isn't it based on 'The Gates of Hell'…by Ordan?" I asked tilting my head to the side a bit to get a better view.
"Well, it's not just hell," Nell said looking at it again. "The children are reaching for heaven, but their souls are trapped in purgatory," she continued thoughtfully. I looked over at her but she walked closer to the door. "These are the demons, and they can hold your soul, for as long as they want," she finished.
"Did you study art?" I asked looking at her thoughtfully. Apparently there was more to Ms. Eleanor Vance than met the eye. I however, had already suspected that and was actually feeling quite smug.
"No," she said smiling a bit. "I studied purgatory. I was there once for eleven years." I must have looked at her strangely because she added this. "It's when your soul is caught between the living and the dead."
"Oh yeah," I responded nodding my head in understanding though I actually had no idea what she was talking about. "I've been there. It's an eighteen hour flight from LA to Paris and you're stuck in coach." She laughed at that and looked back at me with a radiant smile on her face. I was suddenly very glad for my shallowness, despite what those naysayers would have you believe it sometimes pays off.
"All ye who stand before these doors shall be judged," Nell said a moment later. I saw her read it off of the door.
"Well, let's not stand here then," I said shooting her a smile. "Come on," I continued nodding in the direction I wanted to go. She smiled and with that we continued down the hallway.
I didn't realize it then, but standing there in front of that door there was some major foreshadowing going down. They say that retrospect is twenty/twenty and maybe it is, however I still say that the deal would be a lot more useful if it came in foresight instead of hindsight.}
I was broken out of my revere by a pair of lips gently pressing against mine. My lips curved upwards into smile and I returned the kiss.
"Hey," I said bringing my hand up to her cheek.
"Hey yourself," she responded dropping her head back down to rest on my shoulder. "What were you thinking about?"
"Thinking about?" I asked dreamily looking down at her.
"Just now," she responded. "You looked like you were a million miles away."
"Not quite that far," I responded trailing my hand through her hair. "How far away would you say Berkshires is?"
"Hill House," she said softly. She had this connection with the house that I doubt I'll ever completely understand. I for one detest the place and would gladly have burned it down myself upon our exit. But, Nell, she loved the old house despite what happened, she was connected with it, and I resolved to respect that. Even if it did puzzle me.
"Ummm," I responded softly nodding my head a bit.
"Are you okay?" she asked shifting so that she could see my entire face.
"Uh huh," I told her. "I'm fine. Only thinking good thoughts. About our first day there," I explained. At the house I had told her that if we got out I would take her back to my loft in the city, but that plan had been postponed by a short hospital stay. However, once the doctors released Nell I had brought her back home with me, just I like I promised. I wanted to take care of her, but for about the first week she was there I couldn't sleep at all. I kept having nightmares about the house, and especially about Luke's death. Nell ended up just holding me during the night, trying to calm me down. I don't know what I would have done without her.
"Hmmm," she murmured in response. Then she smiled and hid her head in the crook of my shoulder. "You made me so nervous," she mumbled into the skin of my shoulder.
"I was trying to be charming," I said kissing the top of her head. "I wanted you to like me." The funny thing was that I did want her to like me. I never went out of my way to encourage people to like me, but with Nell, that day, I did.
"Did I stare?" Nell asked a moment later. I knew what she was referring to.
"Only a little," I told her raising my hand and separating my thumb and index finger leaving a little space between them. She groaned and buried her face again. "Don't worry," I told her in response to the action. "I liked it," I added with a lecherous grin.
"You would," she muttered.
"Are you implying that I'm exhibitionist or something?" I asked looking at her with a faux serious expression.
"No," she responded without missing a beat. "I'm saying that you ARE an exhibitionist."
I placed a finger under her chin urging her to look at me.
"Not anymore," I told her seriously. "Only for you." If there was one thing that I regretted saying to her that first day we met it was that 'boyfriend and girlfriend' comment. I didn't even know why I said it considering that I had ended it with both of them—which was one of the reasons I was at Hill House in the first place. It had made me sound as promiscuous as I used to be, and I always felt the need to assure Nell that love had indeed changed me for the better.
"I know Theo," she said kissing me softly. "I know."