Chapter 21 - Yuki Shirow and the Seven Sexy Samurai Schoolgirls
To be exact, the flight to Japan had to make a quick stop to San Francisco, where the airplane picked more Japanese tourists going back home as well as mostly gay tourists visiting Japan. Otherwise, the flight across the Pacific Ocean was normal...
Well, it could have been normal.
Ginger was one of the very last to realize it, but Becky had been garnering a lot of attention wit the all-female flight attendant staff. It might have started when Becky was going to the bathroom a lot; at least that was the case initially. As it turned out, Becky was feeling lovesick, so she had sex with all of the female attendants as well as a few lesbian tourists and curious female passengers. They were all cute by the way.
So Becky sat in coach class being served with like a first class flyer. She restrained herself from devouring all the alcohol they had onboard, but she drank more after hearing that one of the attendants stole the pilot and copilot's secret stash. The other flyers complained that they were getting almost no service, for all of the attendants crowded around Becky.
Once more, Ginger was abruptly awoken by a female attendant's breast rubbing against her face.
"I'm so sorry," bowed the attendant.
"Please, stand somewhere else," groaned Ginger.
The attendant bowed and smiled. "You must be a really lucky girl."
"She's just a friend."
The attendant skipped away. Ginger turned head around and saw Mira peeking behind the seat in front of her occupied by a fat snoring Japanese man. Ginger grumbled and faced forward again. Mira had been watching Ginger with stalker eyes, and sometimes Mira hid behind a travel brochure, a newspaper, or a magazine.
It would have been a good time for Ginger to raise a ruckus amidst her swindling of other passengers, many of whom had owned very expensive electronics like those newfangled 1-megapixel digital cameras, Seiko watches, laptop computers, and Palm Pilots. Alas, she was not in the mood. Mira watching her just made her uncomfortable. Now, Ginger was getting annoyed by the giggling female attendants pouring Becky another cup of sake.
"Land," groaned Ginger. "LAND!"
Before she knew it, the plane landed two seconds after she said land.
"Hey Sis," Ginger said. "Why didn't they announce it?"
"Huh?" Becky said as she kissed the cheek of a young attendant for the nth time. "Did you say something?"
Finally, Ginger trudged out carrying her laptop bag. She felt Mira still following behind her, and she dared not to look. She still felt repulsed by her. At the same time, Becky bade farewell to the tearful attendants, who bowed as she walked away.
"Those were nice girls," said Becky.
"You had sex with all of them," noted Ginger.
Becky suddenly slumped on Ginger's shoulders as they made it to the luggage pick-up.
"I miss Red-chan!" Becky cried.
"No!" Mira yelled.
"Hey, you shut up!" Ginger snapped.
"Sorry," said Mira.
"Jeez, Sis," Ginger said as she pushed the tall Becky off. "Don't make out with me. I'm not in the mood."
"So you're a..."
"I said shut up!"
"Look woman, just stand ten steps away from me."
"Is this a good spot?"
Ginger looked. "Farther."
"Is this good?"
"How about now?"
"Um, I'll end up out of the luggage pick-up."
Mira sighed. She watched Ginger wait with annoyed boredom while Becky picked out a young girl of legal age to have sex inside the nearest restroom within the forty minutes they are to wait for the luggage to come around. Mira and Ginger lost count, but they were shocked that Becky had managed to do more than ten.
With five minutes left, Becky lumbered out of the bathroom zipping her pants. She wasn't drunk. She was terribly lovesick.
"I miss Red--"
"Help me!" cried someone.
A mousy Japanese teenage girl with snow-white skin crashed into Ginger and knocked her to the ground.
"Watch it Jap!" Ginger cursed.
But the girl ran away as she was chased not just by security, but also two tough-looking Japanese in black suits and dark sunglasses, and those men had some telltale tattoos appearing from their collars and sleeves to indicate that they belonged to some organized criminal organization.
"Stupid little bitch," Ginger growled. "Sis! I command you to beat that girl up!"
"She'll probably sex her up," said Mira. "Anyway, she's already gone."
Ginger looked about, and in Becky's place was Mira.
"I thought I told you to take a million steps away from me," said Ginger. "Aw forget it. Where did Sis run off to?"
"Over there," Mira pointed.
So they ran through the mall-like lobby, into the outside baggage conveyor belts, and finally into the proverbial dead-end alleyway where they found Becky and the Japanese girl surrounded by more thugs, twenty of them to be exact, some of whom deal with troublemakers legally while the rest dealt their wrath through illegal tactics.
Ginger threw her heavy laptop bag into one of them and Mira drew out and fired her tranquilizer bullets from her pistol. A few dropped to the ground cold, and the rest of them decided to turn their aggression on Ginger and Mira. Then, Becky burst through them and tossed them into the air while holding the hand of the girl and rejoined with her group.
Alas, they were surrounded by even more thugs, who then drew out their cheaply-made katanas, sais, and illegally owned pistols.
"Did you guys bring my throwing knives with me?" Becky asked.
"Hell no," said Ginger.
"Mira, how much darts do you have?"
"Five remaining," Mira replied.
"This is going to get ugly."
The suited Japanese thugs closed in. Then suddenly, there was a cry of a eagle close by, and that eagle passed under the sun shading Becky, the girls, and everyone else in one tense moment.
From the rooftop came two long and black haired Japanese girls wielding katanas, who then slashed through the thugs: disabling them, but not killing them. They would have looked like twins if they were not wearing different schoolgirl uniforms and drawn by different manga authors. Becky gasped in excitement as those two girls moved in perfect sync in their fight with eyes that could kill a man.
"Friends of yours?" Ginger asked. "Or rather, your sisters?"
"You could say that," said Becky. Instead of watching the battle, she joined along using her martial arts skill.
"Stay close to me Ginger," said Mira.
"Forget it," said Ginger. "I can handle things from here. Just watch."
Ginger charged and punched the cheek of a thug, but he only turned his head back to her and smiled. Ginger backed away, but she was suddenly grappled from behind by another thug.
"GINGER!" Mira cried.
She tried to run, but the fight was getting to chaotic, and one of the thugs tried to fight her off, which she dealt with promptly. She got closer to her beloved, only to see the men surrounding Ginger hoisted up into the air and thrown onto the roof.
A long black-haired schoolgirl in a dark uniform descended upside down and stopped in midair to catch Ginger in her bosom.
"Cute girls like you shouldn't be in such an ugly battle," said the girl.
Ginger turned around. The girl, who liked like the other two katana-wielding schoolgirls, was not like them in terms of personality. She had sexy yet demonic red eyes, and a keenly seductive smile. She was somewhat spidery, but not in terms of physical build. When one meant by spidery, the girl possessed a beautifully seductive aura that lured the horny to their inevitable deaths.
The spidery schoolgirl kissed Ginger in the cheek; making her blush and making Mira freeze in jealousy. Then she landed right side up to continue beating down the growing number of thugs with kicks and fists. She too had a katana, but it was sheathed. The spidery girl seemed to have a knack of tripping people, getting them caught into invisible web-like nets, and them hoisting up with invisible strings.
In the midst of the pandemonium the Japanese authorities didn't seem to care about, another fighter joined in, this time it was a biker who screeched her superbike into the men, and then leaped out while drawing out her two Walther P99 pistols that she shot but did not kill. She was still helmeted for a short while into midway she took it off and tossed it to an incoming thug. Like the others, she had long black hair, a katana she generally does not use, and looks that would kill--literally possibly.
"DURAN!" she yelled. "COME FORTH!"
There was howling. From nowhere, a large and silvery wolfdog crashed into the battle clamping her jaws on her enemies. No crotch biting this time.
And so, Ginger and Mira watched as Becky and these mysterious schoolgirls thoroughly kicked the asses of every male thug, save for one who finally drew out his submachine gun. Fortunately, he was promptly knocked out by the butt of a naginata polearm wielded by a woman with a light brown hair.
"You missed one," giggled the girl. She had a very distinctive and sexy Kyoto accent, but for those who happened to watch the dub version of My-HiME (Mai-HiME, whatever), she would sound like she's from the Texas state in the United States.
"Zoh my gods," gasped Ginger. "That has got to be the most coolest ass kickery I have ever scene."
Then she squealed for joy and danced around.
"All right then!" she cried out. "Kill these bastards!"
"You heard the pretty girl," smiled the seductive spidery girl as she placed her hand on the handle of her sword.
"There will be no killing today," said the gun-wielding biker girl. "You know our code Hatsune."
"We really should follow Becky's methodology."
"To each their own," said Becky. "I don't expect all of you to follow my disastrous lead. Now we have get out of here before they wake up. It seems that this girl I'm with is on the run."
The spidery girl named Hatsune trotted over and bent over towards the girl hiding behind Becky.
"And what is your name?" she asked.
"Yuki," said the girl. "Yuki Shirow."
The eyebrows of everyone but Ginger's were raised.
"Eh?" said Ginger. "Is there something I should know?"
Somewhere on the back country roads of Japan roared a pink European vintage four-seater sports car convertible driven by what seemed to be an Indian or Tamil man well fluent in Japanese and many other languages. His hair was fair and bright, nearing close to white but with a distinct tinge of purple shading. He was dressed sharply, as indicated by his leather shoes, name brand black pants, a tucked-in red shirt, a black tie, and earrings. His 8-track stereo deck blared out songs of his favorite artist, James Brown, and the current that was playing was his favorite song "Get Up (I Feel Like Being A) Sex Machine." He was often referred to as "The Prince", but to distinguish him from the U.S. pop artist who stared in the movie Purple Rain, this man should be referred to as Akio Ohtori.
And so, Akio drove with a smug smile on his face as if he had just gotten recently laid. Well, the only plausible place had drove from was a farm complete with an old man and a cow, and it was highly probable that he shagged both--at the same time no less.
Off in the distance he saw a commotion on the road. A large tentacle monster had ensnared five girls of different hair colors and sailor uniform battle suits hybrids of various colors, and the one girl that caught his eye was the one with long blond pigtails.
Akio smiled. "The Prince is on his way!"
He floored the petal and sped his way to the ensnared girls like a hungry wolf, as he aimed to rescue the girls before the tentacle monster did something more indecent to the girls. Just then, a red rose was spiked in the middle of the road by the stem, and appearing suddenly on a bike was a man in a tuxedo, a cape, a small mask covering his eyes, and a top hat over his head. In has hand were roses between his fingers that he hastily bought at the local florist, and used them quite well as weapons. Unfortunately, he did not have time to de-thorn them, so his fingers and palm were hurting like hell.
"Bastard," snarled Akio. "I saw them first."
Pow! Akio's tire popped like an explosion for it ran over the red rose that was spiked on the road. The car swerved out of Akio's control until it started rolling on its side like a log, making the driver scream quite girlishly. The car crashed into and took along the man in the tuxedo and the tentacle monster for a comedic tumble into a manure patch, thus freeing the girls. Now the two men were entangled, with the tentacles from the tentacle monster slithering about their bodies all too invasively. If not for the monster's bulk, the car would have crushed as they were now pinned.
The girls crept towards the manure patch pinching their noses as they drew ever closer.
"You think we should help them Sailor Moon?" asked the tall girl in the green sailor battle uniform.
"Ew, no," said the blond pigtailed girl known as Sailor Moon. She seemed to be the leader, so the rest of the four girls followed her as they walked back to town to get some fruit smoothies.
"Someone help," gagged Akio and the tuxedo man.
Using a special bus, Becky and the rest of the girls drove out of Tokyo and into an old and sleepy town where supposedly aliens with antennas had resided. Ginger pressed her face against the window of the bus looking for the so-called aliens, but all she found were some retards with artistic tin wire hangars sticking out of their heads.
Yuki Shirow sat close to the easygoing Becky at the back of the bus because the other girls that Becky was well acquainted were either scary or complete perverts. The two seemingly normal ones, the ones who appeared to help Becky in the rescue, were Motoko Aoyama and Arashi Kishuu. Motoko was dressed in a dark purple uniform whereas Arashi was dressed in the traditional red scarf, white shirt, and green skirt. They sat away from each other across the aisle, and it had nothing to do with Motoko's pet, which was a brown eagle that had pooped occasionally and inconveniently close to Arashi. It seemed that in the past both Motoko and Arashi had an argument over a young man named Sorata Arisugawa. Asking about that incident would mean certain death, or at the very least frightful intimidation with their swords. Becky was tempted to ask, but decided not to at the last minute.
Next up was the spidery and seductive Hatsune who sat next to Ginger as per the Gingerbrat's request. It was said that she had a nasty reputation of killing men, poisoning her victims, and making girls her willing sex slaves. For some reason, Natsuki Kuga, the biker girl, reviled her as it reminded her of a red-haired girl of the same personality, except that she was supposedly straight.
Speaking of which, Natsuki seemed like leader material, being serious and the most levelheaded of the bunch. But she was always teased indecently by her wife, Shizuru Fujino, the young woman with the naginata, and thus she would lose her cool and embarrass herself. Natsuki had a wolfdog named Duran, but it was the second one and after the first one had died in an accident along with her mother.
Fortunately for HLS, Duran was female, and first time ever HLS had seriously fallen in love with a dog. Unfortunately, Duran was not very receptive of HLS's advances probably because of the double-dildo strap-on HLS hid away at the last minute in Natsuki's bag. Throughout the ride, HLS and Duran sat together, with Duran's nose turned away from the plucky tribade Doberman who continued to wag her tail.
The bus dropped the girls off at a small restaurant called Karuchie's, which served mainly European food, but the kindly yet sometimes absentminded single-father owner would cook anything the customer. So he was forced to close the shop early to outside customers for he would be really busy. He was not alone, of course. He had as helpers or waitresses a young and intelligent daughter, Chie, who he could not run the restaurant with, and a poor cram school student named Mayuko who Hatsune kept on hitting on needlessly.
"Come on," smiled Hatsune as she stroked her claw-like fingers under Mayuko's chin. "Live with me, and you'll never have to deal with the antenna-less flat-chested alien girl as long as you live."
"No thanks," Mayuko smiled uneasily. She would rather put up with her roommate's freeloading, if not destructive UFO-making antics at her home at the Enohana bathhouse...
And to Mayuko's further dismay, Becky and the girls transferred over their to seriously begin their meeting. Mayuko, of course, also worked at where she lived, and her boss insisted that she personally tend to their tall and dark-haired customers by bathing with them naked.
"Well, at least I get a raise," sighed Mayuko as Hatsune's fingers stroked across her arm.
Yuki sat close to Becky at the far end of the corner of their rectangular bath, just like during the bus ride.
"I thank you for saving me, Miss Wolfe," said Yuki.
"Becky," said Becky. "Just call me Becky. The truth is you should thank the others."
"Becky, you lucky girl," grinned Hatsune.
"Put a sock on it," said Arashi.
"I still don't know why you and Motoko are in our group."
"We fulfilled at least two of the requirements, you know."
"You can't run away from the fact that girls want to cuddle with you."
"We don't swing that way," said Motoko.
"But that nerdy guy at your dorms seemed very interested in that girl who is trying to get into Tokyo University. And what of your fans? Obviously they have the hots for you."
"As Arashi said, put a sock on it."
"So those two aren't lesbians?" asked Ginger, who sat next to Hatsune and across from a panicked Mira.
"Well, they are Tall, Dark, and Bishoujo," said Shizuru.
"Now I get it. Almost all of you possess that 'quality' that makes you cool, just like Sis."
"But she cut her hair short," said Arashi. "So technically Becky is no longer a core member."
"Whoa, one thing at a time. Who the hell are you guys?"
"Do you want to explain?" Shizuru asked Natsuki.
"Why are you asking me?" asked Natsuki. "Am I leader material?"
"On certain nights," Shizuru winked, to which caused Natsuki a bit of an embarrassing discomfort.
"Well, you can do the job. You're very well qualified."
"Aw, you shouldn't have."
Shizuru cleared her throat. "All of us here, are part of the clandestine worldwide group known as the Order of the Tall, Dark, and Bishoujo. We are, in a sense, protectors of the weak, oppressed, and each other of course, and we also fight for justice and preserve the order of the world. We don't know when it was formed or who was the founding member. Our group is generally ad-hoc in its hierarchy and organization, so anyone of us could be leader at certain point. Right now, however, we generally listen to Azuma-sensei, but she could not be here."
Yuki turned and saw Becky shudder and shiver. "Thank Goddess," said Becky.
"So I usually lead the group," continued Shizuru. "Or my darling Natsuki leads. Depending on who's on top at the moment."
"Shizuru..." growled Natsuki.
"The Order is divided into groups of Core Members and Honorary Members. Becky, Arashi, Motoko, Hatsune, Natsuki, and I are core members, while cute Mayuko here is an Honorary Member much to Hatsune's insistence."
"She could be a core member if she wanted to," smiled Hatsune. "She does fulfill the Core Member requirements.
"No thanks," blushed Mayuko.
"So to become an Honorary Member," continued Shizuru, "you have to be well intimate with a Core Member. And to be a Core Member, you must fulfill two or more of the following requirements, but the first one must be filled first:
1. You gotta be a hot girl or woman and have long dark hair
2. You gotta be tall
3. You gotta be cool
4. You gotta be a chick magnet."
Ginger raised her hand as if she was in class held in a bathhouse.
"Question," Ginger said.
"What is it Ginger-chan?"
"Can I be a Core Member?"
"As much as Hatsune and I want to, you can't. I'm sorry."
"But you don't have dark hair, Sis's hair has been cut short, and biker girl is short."
"She has a point on the last one," smirked Hatsune.
"Shut-up," said Natsuki. "With the exception of Becky, all of you are not that much taller than me."
"But you are short."
"The shortest no doubt," added Arashi.
Natsuki grumbled, rather cutely enough for Shizuru to hug her playfully.
"Don't worry Natsuki-chan," smiled Shizuru. "You're always be my Tall, Dark, and Bishoujo in my book."
"Which reminds me," started Natsuki, "how come you guys made Shizuru a Core Member? We can't really be the Order of the Tall, Dark, and Bishoujo if she's one."
"We already answered that question a while back," said Motoko.
"Yeah, why is Miss Kyoto a Core Member?" asked Ginger.
"The thing is," said Hatsune, "we liked Shizuru so much she had to be a Core Member. Even Arashi, Motoko, and all the other straight Core and Honorary Members agree with me."
Both the serious-minded Arashi and Motoko nodded.
"Did she molest you or something?" Ginger asked them.
They blushed. "Nothing of that sort," said Arashi.
"We just like her, that's all," added Motoko.
Ginger sighed. "So I guess I'll have to settle with being a Honorary Member. Do I get like free stuff, like a sword or gold or whatnot?"
"Sorry," said Shizuru. "We may have a lot of resources, but we're not that rich."
"What kind of Order is this anyway?"
"Being an Honorary Member earns you a right to be protected by the likes of us," said Hatsune. "And you get snuggling perks."
"In your case," said Natsuki.
"Um," said Mira who had remained silent throughout. "Do you think I qualify to be a Tall, Dark, and Bishoujo?"
"No, you can't," snapped Ginger. "Because you're a traitor."
"I'm sorry." Mira then turned away, forcing herself to not look at a soaked and naked Ginger.
"That's harsh," said Hatsune.
Ginger then threw her arms around Hatsune and rubbed her face against hers. "Well, she is a traitor," she said as she made sure Mira was watching painfully.
"Anyway," said Shizuru, "we have to do something about our little Snow White here."
"Yuki Shirow," said Natsuki. "Did something go on at the Murasame Shirow Gang that you were forced to run away from?"
Yuki lowered her head.
"So it's your stepmother then," said Shizuru.
"That figures," said Natsuki. "Though she is a potential candidate for being a core member, Haiko is without a doubt a prominent mob boss after marrying Yuki's father who has been dead just one day after the marriage."
"You must have done something to piss off Haiko," said Hatsune.
Yuki jumped and hugged Becky even tighter. "Please!" said the snow-white Japanese girl. "I don't want to talk about it!"
"So Haiko's finally began the full takeover of the Murasame Shirow Gang," said Natsuki. "Even though she's not a blood member."
"Don't worry Yuki," said Becky. "The Order of the Tall, Dark, and Bishoujo will pledge our lives to protect you."
"That's right yakuza girl," said Ginger. "The Seven Sexy Samurai Schoolgirls is on the case."
"You don't count Gingerbrat."
"But do I?" asked Mira.
"Look, I just told you that you don't because you're a traitor," said Ginger.
"You know," said Natsuki, "that is not really why we came here for."
"But we can't turn our back on defenseless girl," said Shizuru.
"I know. Thus, we have to plan out on how we can stop the Shirow gang from hunting down Yuki, and we have to do it quick."
"Let's plan it at Sei's place."
"All right. We'll have to call the sitter and tell her we'll be coming home late."
"Oh, I don't think that won't be necessary," smiled Shizuru.
And when Shizuru smiled, it's either bad news or wickedly perverted.
"W-wait," stuttered Natsuki. "What did you do? Did you change the sitter?"
"Of course not," replied Shizuru. "Yumi took the kids with her to Sei's place."
"And is Sei really there?"
Shizuru happily nodded.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ALLOWED OUR KIDS TO GO TO SEI'S!" yelled Natsuki. "FOR THE TENTH TIME!"
"But they love her!" Shizuru exclaimed. "Oh, and Nao will be there."
Natsuki sprang up to her feet, exposing her full naked body to a delighted Shizuru.
"BACK ON THE BUS!" she commanded. "NOW!"
Luckily, he had another car that looked exactly the one he had just crashed into the stock tentacle monster.
The artist who couldn't be called The Prince for copyright and trademark reasons, Akio, sped happily down the rural Japanese four-lane highways with his James Brown music turned up to medium high on his 8-track stereo. Right now, it was on "I Got the Feelin'".
"Drat," said Akio as he looked ahead. "A stoplight."
He shifted his European car into neutral and proceeded to a stop. Then he waited. Suddenly, loud eurobeat music from a compilation CD overpowered Akio's funky music to his chagrin. He looked over to his side and saw a white AE86, or rather the two-door Toyota Sprinter Trueno GT-APEX, rolling up to his side.
"Hey," said Akio. "HEY!"
A dour yet amiable-looking young Japanese man turned his head towards Akio.
"Could you turn that racket down?" asked Akio.
The young man's expression turned frightul and sullen.
"I can't!" he wept. "I took out my deck and it still plays! It just follows me around!"
"Why would it do that?"
The young man heard a gun click, and unbeknowst to Akio there was a short man sitting in the back seat with a gun in one hand and a drawing pen in the other that was drawing up manga, or Japanese comics.
"Because I have to street-race," he said. "FOREVER!"
Akio felt a bit of pity, and yet the eurobeat music started to grow on him. For some mystical reason, the music made him want to push his car to the maximum.
"How about we race?" asked Akio.
"No!" Click. "I mean, yes!"
The two men then faced forward with hands on the steering wheel and the shifter, feet on the pedals, and eyes on the stop lights. The went from red and then to green. And they were off.
Crash! A banged up silver Mazda sedan knocked both Trueno and Akio's into the air, sending them hurtling off the cliff that the highway happened to be right next to. The sedan in question was driven by a drunk female English teacher who had just took many years off her friend's life.
"That's it Yukari!" screamed the friend, a P.E. teacher. "I'm driving!"
"Aah," moaned Gene.
"Aah," moaned Stephanie.
"Mmm," moaned Kitty as she performed oral sex on a pretty female bathhouse worker.
"Erm," grumbled Jean. She looked to the side only to fume at the utter spaciness of her kooky sister Gene, the cyber-armed Dr. Stephanie Stephenson, and the muff-diving Kitty Muffet. All of them were naked and surrounded by steam.
"I thought we were going to see that Voodoo psychologist from Oxford," said Jean. "Not going to a bathhouse on the beach next to a tall cliff."
"I've always wanted to bathe in this place," said Gene.
"But you just did--yesterday!"
"It was along the way," said Stephanie as she ejected her right cybernetic prosthetic arm.
"Along the way? We've been traveling for days! And I still haven't been cured of my 'problem'!"
If you read the mini-side chapter, Jean had just recently developed a vagina symptom of not feeling any pleasure in it. It was frustrating to not get horny in front of her prospective husbands who just seemed pass right through her.
"I'm getting wrinkly," said Jean. "I'll meet you guys at the hotel."
Jean rose from her spot and stepped out the bath. For the unluckiest (black) woman in the world, she looked quite pretty. She tiptoed towards the towel rack and then crash! Standing precariously before her on the front hood was a European convertible that was spilling a gagging Indian-looking man with his red shirt unbuttoned, and he was luckily to be alive.
The towels were out of reach. Jean covered her breasts and screamed. Then she yelled out, almost by habit:
"DAMN YOU BECKY! DAMN YOU!"
"Anata wa kyohi no naka e," muttered an elderly bathhouse worker who proceeded to clean up the debris as if cars falling from the sky was a daily occurrence.
"Eh? Did she say something to me?"
"Granny says you're in denial," said an English-speaking Japanese bathhouse worker.
Somewhere in the depths of Shinjuku, the current leader of the Murasame Shirow Gang, Haiko Shirow, had just lashed out at the half-American (U.S.-ian) and half-Japanese Meyer Kagami at the conference room, and the man in question was backed into the wall at for his boss was throwing stuff at him.
The wicked tall, dark, and bishoujo towered over him, even if the conference table was separating them. Finally, she calmed down.
"Meyer, Meyer, who is on the wall," said Haiko, "do I look fat in this suit?"
Haiko was putting some weight on the waist, but Meyer did not have the heart to tell her.
"Of course not," he lied.
"Oh, why thank you!" giggled Haiko. "Anyway, why haven't you done in my step-daughter?"
"You see, a group of girls with long black hair swooped in rescue her."
"Girls with long black hair. They wouldn't happen to be tall, would they?"
"Curses. We can't touch Yuki as long as they have her. How many of them are there?"
"Just six," replied Meyer, "but she wasn't among them."
"I might have a chance to retrieve Yuki. Call in our top members in the grand hall, and make sure they bring their wives, mistresses, daughters, and mothers if they look hot."
And so, they all gathered. The top members of Haiko's staff were obviously male, but she decided to that there should be a sudden change.
"I have some good news," she told them. "You're fired! Good bye!"
The staff began dispersing, thus taking their wives along with them.
"The women can stay," she said, "because I have decided to appoint them as my new staff."
Then suddenly the wives, mistresses, daughters, and many hot mothers swarmed Haiko with excited faces and squealed in approval.
"Am I fired?" Meyer asked.
"Of course not," smiled Haiko. "You're our whipping boy. We all take turns whipping you."
Instead of rescuing Shizuru and Natsuki's children from Sei, the Order of the Tall, Dark, and Bishoujo decided to have dinner and a party. Sei's parents were out, so it was okay.
Again, Natsuki glared at the pig-tailed Yumi Fukuzawa (also a honorary member nicknamed "Timid Raccoon") for being useless, but she understood perfectly that it could not be helped. Sei Satou was known as the The White Rose whose flirtations with other girls could only be rivaled by Shizuru Fujino. Sei was an honorary member, although there have been calls core member group of the Order that she should be a core member in a similar vein as Shizuru. After all, Sei already had in her possession a powerful sword called the Yuriseiki.
It became somewhat rowdy and risqu√©, especially with Becky nearly becoming drunk next to Yuki, and the core member being fawned upon by girls Sei had brought from school. Arashi and Motoko were laid back and quiet. Natsuki carefully watched her and her significant other's children, Natsuru and Shizuki, who remarkably looked very much like their parents save for the difference in eye color. Shizuru and Sei teased the lovable Yumi, and best pals Hatsune and the red-haired Nao (also a honorary member nicknamed "The Nasty Girl") talked dirty with Ginger, who was preoccupied making the cornered and sadly lonely Mira jealous with every second.
"Hey Sei," said Hatsune. "You think Azuma-sensei is coming?"
"I called her, but she said she'll be late," said Sei as she and Shizuru double-groped Yumi. "I think she'll arrive tomorrow night."
"Sachiko is going to be angry with you and Shizuru keep on touching me," said Yumi.
"She's on important business now, dear," grinned Shizuru, after noticing Natsuki's jealous glare.
As it so happened, Sachiko Ogasawara happens to be a core member of the Order, and her intimate relationship with Yumi was the reason Yumi was an honorary member.
The party soon wound down. Sei and Shizuru dismissed the outside girls with blowing kisses or kisses on the face. Natsuki went to one of Sei's guestrooms and found HLS's double-dildo strap-on in her bag.
"What's that mommy?" asked her closest resembling daughter, Natsuru.
"Ah, nothing!" blushed Natsuki.
But alas, Shizuru saw it.
"So that's for the kids?" she asked.
"NO!" cried Natsuki.
Ginger decided to sleep with Hatsune and Nao in another guestroom, and had slammed the door shut in front of Mira who had attempted to follow her. Mira's heart began skipping beats when she heard Ginger giggling provocatively as if Hatsune and Nao were attempting to steal her virginity away, if it was not stolen in the first place.
"Well," said Mira, "I have to find a place to sleep."
But all the rooms were taken. The only place to sleep was in the den next to the bar, where HLS was alone whining.
"What's wrong?" she asked the dog. "Did Duran reject you?"
HLS whined even more. Mira hugged her as if she had found a companion in unfulfilled unrequited love.
"I understand," she said. "Let's sleep together--but not in that way."
Inside their small room with a small bed, Becky and Yuki undressed in order to fit into the pajamas supplied by Sei, which were downright erotic and supremely comfortable.
"That Sei knows her stuff," said Becky.
"Yeah," said Yuki.
"It almost feels like we've checked into a Love Hotel. Or a plain ol' motel back in the U.S. Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to imply anything."
"We're you implying something?"
"No! Well, we're going to get cozy since this bed is small."
"I see then."
Becky crawled in, and held the sheets up for Yuki to enter. The bed immediately became smaller for Becky since she was very tall, and even the petite Yuki took quite a bit of space. The two did not sleep for hours, for Becky and Yuki lay on their sides staring almost longingly at each other.
Then Yuki made the first move. She kissed Becky and ran her hands on her large breasts. In kind, Becky ran her hands down Yuki's waist and butt, but then suddenly she pushed her away without making her fall off the bed.
"What's wrong?" asked Yuki.
"This isn't right."
"It's okay. I would like to make love to you."
"It's not that. I see it in your eyes. You're waiting for someone else to take you away to happiness."
Yuki looked away. "The truth is, there is someone, and I take it that there is someone else that is meant for you."
"Yeah. In some ways she reminds me of you, except she's a total idiot. That's what I like about her. Like you, she was on the run from a family who wants to use her for nefarious deeds."
"I heard about your reputation. Does she know?"
"Of course, and she doesn't mind. In fact, she does join in for lesbian groups sex."
"I'm so jealous. I wish I could have a noble tall, dark, and bishoujo to protect me."
Yuki wrapped her arms around Becky and snuggled her head into her breasts.
"But for now, this will suffice," smiled Yuki.
Becky hugged back, and soon the two fell asleep.
In the next morning, Mira woke to see a half-naked Hatsune, Nao, and Ginger trudging away from their bedroom, but she hid behind the couch she slept in fearing the worst.
"But she doesn't like me anymore," she thought to herself.
One by one, the Order arrived at the dining room for breakfast, and all of them looked as if they had a rough night's sex--er, sleep. Then again, it was possible they did have sex.
The doorbell rang, thinking it was Azuma-sensei, Sei stumbled from the head of the table to the door and beheld two pretty-looking women in suits. She quickly fixed up her hair and buttoned up her robe (for she was naked underneath).
"What can I do you for?" smiled Sei.
"Are you Satou Sei?" one of them asked.
"The one and only."
"Then would you be interested in attending the grand opening of a girls-only dance club?"
"Girls-only?" cried Shizuru.
"It will serve the best alcohol," said the other businesswoman.
"Booze?" cried Becky.
"And to live up to our name, we will be serving the best apple pies, strudels, and cider of this entire continent!"
"Apples?" Yuki cried.
Yuki dashed from the table and knocked Sei out of view.
"I love apples!" Yuki said.
"You do?" said the first businesswoman.
"Of course! Where is this club?"
"At the westernmost edge of Shinjuku. Here, take a flyer. We're passing them out to all the women who love to be with women."
"See you soon!"
The two mysterious women left, and Yuki slammed the door with a force of gods. She read the flyer up and down so many times that Sei could swear that she heard rattle.
"We have to go to this!" Yuki said. "The Ringo[i] Disco!"
"Eh?" Ginger said. "Apple Computer are going to release this damn 'iPod' I keep hearing about on the IRC chatrooms?"
"As it so happens they are! As a test release to us girls only. Please, can we go?"
Shizuru rose from her chair. "We shall declare an emergency meeting of the Order of the Tall, Dark, and Bishoujo."
The core members nodded. Ginger, Mira, Yumi, Nao, and the kids were tossed out of the dinning room, but they could still hear and see the meeting since it wasn't exactly enclosed with walls.
"It could be a trap," said Natsuki.
"What, pretty boys dressed as pretty girls?" asked Hatsune.
"That'll be a sight to see," grinned Motoko.
"Enough of your male crossdressing yaoi fantasies," said Arashi. "It's obvious that Haiko is trying to lure Yuki there."
"I want some apples..." said Yuki.
"But didn't she sell off that building to O-Ren Ishii and her group?" asked Natsuki.
"Old Cross-Eyes?" said Becky. "She let it crumble after I attempted to do her in."
"Ishii doesn't like to be called 'Old'," said Hatsune. "I mean, how would you like it if we started called you Olde Wolfe-Ears once more?"
"Um, I can hear you six," said Yuki as she slowly became bratty.
"Then again," said Natsuki, "this could be perfect opportunity to strike down Haiko before she could harm Yuki."
"Regardless of our reservations," said Becky, "we of the Order of the Tall, Dark, and Bishoujo must fulfill a lonely girl's wishes, not matter what the cost."
"Indeed," smiled Shizuru.
"We really should stop doing things like that," said Natsuki. "We're deeply in debt of the previous damages we have caused. And what about our kids?"
"It's okay mommies," said Shizuki, who looks remarkably like Shizuru. "We want you two fight evil and shag the girls!"
"And pussies one them," said Natsuru.
"Damn it Nao," growled Natsuki. "Will you stop exposing them to such smut?"
"It's your fault for hiring me as a sitter in the first place," grinned Nao. "Besides, the girls are very curious how their two mommies made them."
"Never again I'll hire you."
"You only hired me once."
"Then it is decided," said Shizuru. "We six shall help Yuki sate her taste in everything apple-related and stop her step-mother from harassing her."
"The grand opening is taking place now!" whined Yuki.
"Let's move! No time to lose! Put on your best clothes that'll get you laid in ten seconds!"
It's good thing he had a third car that looked very much like the previous two he crashed. The problem was that this one didn't have an 8-track player. It just had a AM/FM radio.
"Sigh," said Akio. "James Brown, I guess we won't be singing to each other at the moment."
So the he tuned the dial on the radio to find an American oldies station on Japanese airwaves. There wasn't much except for a catchy tune that went, "Du du, du-du, duu, du-du-du-du... KATAMARI DAMACY[ii]!"
Splorp! Something ran over Akio and his car and took them both along the ride. The world around was spinning all around him at various dizzying rates, yet he felt no sickness. There were intact things piled below him, and as he journeyed on this planet-like ball things began to pile on top of him. He could have sworn that he saw a tiny green man-thing rolling this strange clump. Two men landed on top of him and his car, and recognized one of them. He drew his eyes at a handsome man, or bishounen, with flowing long red hair.
"Is that you Akio?" asked the man who sounded suspiciously like Crispin Freeman or Takehito Koyasu in the Japanese version.
"Touga?" said Akio. "This thing got you too?"
"Where's your pants?"
"I ran into this guy named Razor Roman Hard Gay[iii] and... please don't hate me for this Akio."
Suddenly, the filled crotch of black leather hot pants squished onto Akio's face after much gyration, and then he heard someone yelling, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Man, they really dressed as if they were really going to shag some girls. Courtesy of Sei's wardrobe, the six core members of the Order, which included Motoko, Arashi, Hatsune, Natsuki, Shizuru, and Becky, and Yuki arrived via limousine and stepped onto the red carpet with screaming fanfare. Though they weren't movie stars, the girls at sides screamed as if they were. The world-renowned international reporter Miranda T. Powers was there reported the grand opening of the much-hyped girls-only dance club the Ringo Disco.
"And it looks like the Order has finally come in!" cried Miranda. "In my opinion, they have more stardom and staying power than the Order of the Rich, Dumb, Blond, and Whorish."
The heroines surrounded Yuki as if she was the Prime Minister, and they were the secret service agents. The burst in to behold lights, lasers, techno music, dancing, pretty girls, beer, and the sweet smell of apple strudels.
"Girls!" Shizuru cried.
"Booze!" Becky cried.
"And apples!" said Yuki.
"Hold your horses you three," said Natsuki. "We got to keep an eye on each--ah shit."
Natsuki had lost them already, including Arashi and Motoko who were surrounded by a crowd of picture-takers who happened to be their biggest fans.
"We're straight," Arashi told them.
"But we can still dance with you two, can we?" asked a teary-eyed girl.
"Sure," smiled Motoko. "You can dance between our bodies."
Hence, the girl squealed.
Hatsune was at dark corner away from the lights and lasers making out with a braided ponytail girl like a vampire. Shizuru seemed to be acting normal by dancing with many girls, while a worried Natsuki sought her out.
At the cafeteria section, the music still played loudly, albeit lower. A hungry Yuki gathered plates and plates of apple-related delights and sat down next to an apple cider keg. Eventually, she was joined by Becky who took along with her a keg of beer.
"Man, do you eat a lot," said Becky. "And you don't seem to get fat."
"Apples are my chocolate," said Yuki. "They make me very happy."
As she took a swig from her mug, Becky then noticed Yuki slowing down on her consumption of apple pie, and then there were tears.
"My real mommy used to make the best apple pie," sniffed Yuki. "Why does this have to taste like hers?"
Bursting into tears, Yuki knocked all the plates off the table.
"Mommy," Yuki cried. "Mommy!"
Becky quickly hugged Yuki. Eventually, the others arrived, mostly in pairs with the exception of Hatsune who appeared with a drop of blood on her mouth to which she promptly wiped off.
"Was she poisoned?" asked Natsuki.
"Bad memories," said Becky. "Haiko will pay."
"It's nice for you to bring my darling Yuki here," boomed a voice through the speakers. The music and dancing stopped, and all the workers and customers turned towards the six members of the Order and deployed their guns at them.
At the stage, Haiko and a beaten Meyer appeared.
"Now if you please," said Haiko. "Hand my daughter to me."
"Never!" said Becky. "I won't hand her to a heartbreaker like you!"
"I am her mother."
"Why do you want to kill her?" asked Natsuki.
"What makes you think I want to kill her?" asked Haiko. "I could rule my group and all its subsidiaries through her."
"You foul woman," said Arashi.
"Do you know you're dealing with?" Motoko cried.
"The Order of the Tall, Dark, and Bishoujo," said Haiko. "Yes, I know. You solicited me to join your group in the recent past, but I have no interest in protecting the world at large."
"We can rip through your forces, even if they are pretty looking," grinned Hatsune.
"Oh really? Ladies, give them the 'look'."
Haiko's forces, which was every girl except Yuki and the Order, lowered their guns. Their faces suddenly changed into feminine desperation to which the six girls of the Order were taken in by like kryptonite.
"The watery eyes," gasped Natsuki.
"The blushing faces," gasped Hatsune.
"Their chins on their closed fists," said Arashi.
"Their moans," said Becky. "Their moans!"
"You girls get weak by them looking cute?" asked Yuki.
"No," said Shizuru, huffing. "Our fighting ability do get lowered, but..."
"Even we succumb to the bodily urges to make out with the same sex," said Motoko.
Haiko's forces, while retaining their cute faces, marched forward.
"Pathetic," boomed a voice from above. "The Order should not be taken by such things."
"Who's there?" demanded Haiko.
A spotlight was shown into the ceiling catwalk that was not far above the roof of the open cafeteria, and everyone soon beheld yet another woman who was tall, had long black hair and striking blue eyes, and possessed a sword. She was accompanied by a giggling blond, HLS, Duran, Ginger, and Mira. She leaped down and landed in front of Becky and the others just as Ginger and Mira delivered to them their swords--minus Becky of course.
"Right on time," smiled Shizuru.
"Where's mine?" Becky asked.
"It's broke you bloke!" said Ginger. "Use your throwing knives."
"It's you," gasped Haiko. "The Dark Mistress herself--Hazuki Azuma!"
"Azuma-sensei!" gasped Becky.
"Long time no see Lupo," said Hazuki. "Now then, we seven should demonstrate the power we posses."
The core members nodded. They immediately sent Yuki away with an apple pie in her arms and cleared away the tables and chairs. They went into position and struck awesome battle-ready poses that caused wetness to the panties of almost all the girls in the dance club.
"We are the protectors of the weak and the oppressed," started Hazuki. "We have kept order to this world since time immemorial."
"Those who posses the qualities are granted extraordinary power," said Shizuru.
"The long dark hair!" said Becky.
"The tallness!" Natsuki cried out.
"The coolness!" cried Motoko.
"And the chick magnetism!" cried Arashi.
"We may posses swords," said Becky, "but we also have other arsenals we can use."
"Such as," started Shizuru, "the Glare of Death!"
The seven core members narrowed their eyes, and sent shockwaves of shudders to everyone in the crowd. It was so powerful that some were thrown off their feet.
"So scary," gasped Mira.
"Yet so cool," said Ginger. "And hot."
"We also have," added Ararshi, "the Cool Pose!"
The seven jumped around to display the power of the Cool Pose, which entailed leaning against walls or pillars with arms folded and looking away, or sitting laid back on the chairs. Again, everyone who was female shuddered.
"And lastly," said Natsuki, "the Curt Dialog!"
"'Yo'," said Becky.
"'Die please'," said Motoko.
"'You're in my way'," smiled Hatsune.
The shudders were so great that many of Haiko's forces fainted in ecstasy.
"Ooh, I got goosebumps!" said Ginger.
"Me too!" Mira cried.
Then the looked at each other's smiling faces, and realized that they were holding hands likes schoolgirls. Realizing that Ginger had a grudge with Mira, they let go and looked away blushing in embarrassment.
"So now then," said Hazuki as she unsheathed her sword. "Will you leave Yuki Shirow alone?"
"We'd better do what she says," said Meyer as he backed up to a wall. "With the Dark Mistress around, not even the full force of the United States could stand up to her!"
"Don't worry Meyer-Meyer," said Haiko. "I've got a plan. People, clear a path for me!"
And they did. Haiko walked down the path the led to the open cafeteria where the seven core members of the Order of the Tall, Dark, and Bishoujo had stood. She stared at them with defiant eyes for a few long seconds before she collapsed and groveled.
"Please!" she wailed. "Don't kill me! Spare my forces as well!"
Hazuki and the rest of the Order were taken aback and felt embarrassed that they scared the shit out of Haiko.
"That was so uncool," said Ginger.
"I guess she won't be core member anytime soon," added Mira.
"Um, we're not fond of mass destruction and mass murder," said Hazuki.
"Sure we have caused some damages," said Shizuru.
"In any case, we just want you and your group to stop harassing Yuki," said Motoko.
"Speaking of which," said Arashi. "Where is Yuki?"
They all looked around and lo and behold Yuki was face down by the table full of strudles and pies.
"Yuki!" cried Shizuru.
While the girls surrounded the unconscious Yuki, Becky marched up to Haiko and pulled her up to her face by the collar.
"Bitch, what have you done to her?" cried Becky. "You poisoned her!"
"I did not!" said Haiko. "Why would I do such a thing?"
"To take over the Murasame Shirow Gang, of course," said Natsuki.
"I have no interest in taking it over! I just want to..."
They heard and felt an explosion. The main doors that were barred before burst open, and in stepped an Indian-looking man in a red shirt, black tie, and platinum hair.
"I have arrived!" he announced. "Via a Ford Pinto."
"So that's what the explosion was," said a soot-covered Miranda T. Powers. "Luckily, no one got hurt."
"Hey, there are no men allowed here!" Meyer cried out.
"Who the fuck are you?" demanded Becky.
"Yeah, get the fuck out of here!" cried Hatsune. "We're trying to revive Yuki Shirow!"
"That's what I'm here for!" cried the man. "And I... Hey! Don't turn around!"
The man ran and jumped through the panicked crowds of pretty females. Then he landed in the clearing created by Yuki's sudden unconsciousness.
"Do you know who I am?" he asked.
"Fuck, we don't care!" Becky said as he pushed him away. "Yuki! Yuki wake up!"
The man sighed. Quickly and without anyone noticing his gross nakedness, he changed into a regal princely outfit and then undid his ponytail. He stepped before the girls again.
"Do you recognize me now?" he asked.
"Get out of the way!" Natsuki cried as she pushed him away.
The man thought for a moment, for he knew that there was no way any girl could not recognize him. Then he realized that he had forgot something, and it was the one thing that sets him apart from other sex machines. He then unbuttoned his shirt, exposing his brown and hairless chest, and appeared before the girls again.
"Now?" he said.
Then silence. After a few moments, the girls screamed--in total horror.
"Holy shit!" cried Arashi. "Akio Ohtori!"
"The Prince has arrived to save my princess from the brink of death!" exclaimed Akio.
"Didn't you get the mail you retard?" said Haiko. "You're no longer my daughter's betrothed!"
"Watch as a kiss from my lips..."
"Aren't you listening?"
"...seals the marriage bond between prince and princess!"
Ignoring the yelled insults and tomatoes thrown at him, Akio cleared off the table of pies so he could tenderly lay Yuki on it. He stroked the hair from her eyes, and then closed his own as he lowered his lips to her lips.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Haiko cried.
In one flying kick, Haiko sent Akio flying and then crashing into a pile of apple cider kegs.
"Duran!" Natsuki yelled.
"HLS!" yelled Becky.
"Sick that bastard!"
Duran and HLS leaped from the catwalk rafters and then commenced mauling Akio, who whelped helplessly and pathetically. Meanwhile, Ginger and Mira lowered themselves onto the ground via ropes, for they could not jump from high buildings and land safely on their own toes. Such an ability was reserved for anime characters, or rather the core members of the Order of the Tall, Dark, and Bishoujo.
"Yuki," wailed Haiko. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"
"Did that girl overeat herself?" Ginger asked.
"I don't know! It must be an allergic reaction."
"Hold on a second," said Mira as she walked up to Yuki's body. "I'm no doctor, but this isn't poison or an allergic reaction."
In a move that would royally piss Haiko off, Mira punched Yuki's chest. Yuki lurched forward and from her throat she expelled a hardened yet slimy piece of apple strudel that stuck to Haiko's forehead. Mira then handed a coughing Yuki a mug of apple cider.
"Be careful with yourself next time," said Mira.
"Thanks," said Yuki.
"Mira," said Ginger. "Out of all the cool shit I have seen, what you just did was an excellent closer."
"You think?" Mira smiled.
Seeing Mira's happy face, Ginger turned around. "But you're still a damn traitor."
"Thank goodness you're alive!" Haiko cried as she hugged her step-daughter.
"Oh, mama," said Yuki.
The two then stared at each other's eyes, and finally they kissed very passionately.
The entire club silenced.
"Hold on," said Becky. "You two..."
"Technically, I am her mother," said Haiko, "but I only married her father to get to her."
"The age gap is not that huge," said Yuki.
"So you were chasing her to bring her back?" asked Natsuki. "Then why did she run away?"
"I said something bad to mama. I'm so sorry I called you fat."
"I should have known it was a joke. So I lashed out at Meyer-Meyer."
"Mommy, you're so funny."
They kissed again.
"Yuki, have this pie," said Haiko. "I made all these for you in memory of your real mother!"
"Yum!" said Yuki. "You're the best mommy!"
"And we'll go play Dance Dance Revolution[iv] afterwards!"
Becky and the rest of the order smiled.
"Another job done perhaps?" she asked her peers in the Order.
"It's subtly sickening," said Hatsune, "yet that is the reason why it is so hot."
And so, the dance party resumed. Akio was tied up and used as a human pi√±ata and the geek in the dunk-the-geek game, which everyone happily played. A Dance Dance Revolution tournament was held on the stage after Yuki and Haiko did their exhibition dance (during which Haiko and Yuki seductively ate the saliva-slimy apple strudel piece Yuki expelled from her throat).
Everyone soon began leaving as evening approached. Haiko and Yuki were invited along with the Order as well as Ginger, Mira, and the dogs back to Sei's house. The stepmother and daughter continued to romance each other, and by this time it was starting to sicken everyone else due to the fact that they were too lovey-dovey. Despite that, they all felt that Haiko wasn't a bad person.
"Still, I wish you do something about your group," said Natsuki who had her daughters sitting on her knees while sitting on the couch across from Haiko and Yuki.
"Oh, don't worry about it," said Haiko. "As of now, I've suspended all my illegal operations and begin focusing on running the Ringo Disco and starting my own line of apple pastries and drinks."
"I love you so much mommy," giggled Yuki.
"Let's make out!"
So they did, and Natsuki was forced to cover her children's eyes.
"Could you not do that?" asked Natsuki. "There are children here."
"But mommy," said Shizuki, "we always watch you and other mommy mash pussies on the Internet."
"What the? NAO!"
"What did I do now?" grinned the mischievous Nao, who was conversing with her buddy Hatsune.
Outside on the balcony, Becky and Hazuki stared out to the coming night with drinks in their hands.
"Sensei," said Becky. "You know why I am here."
"I know. And not a moment too soon. Güse is gathering up our enemies into her fold. The Order will be put to the greatest test of the millennium..."
As for Akio, the Order decided not to kill him despite the gross things he had done in the past. So they blindfolded him and left him at a faraway bus stop with Razor Roman HG (Hard Gay) and the red-haired pants-less Touga Kiryuu gyrating their hips to the dance-Latin beat of Ricky Martin's "Livin' La Vida Loca." As much as he could, Akio was too tired and too humiliated to join their fun.
"WOOOOOOOOOO!" cried both HG and Touga.
"Will you two stop?" said Akio.
i - Ringo is Japanese for "apple".
ii - Katamari Damacy is a video game where you control a little green guy, and the object of the game is that you roll shit up into a big-ass ball.
iii- Razor Ramon Hard Gay (HG) is the performing name of comedian Masaki Sumitani who looks like one of the Village People and goes around in Japan doing some crazy antics for television.
iv - Dance Dance Revolution is a music video game where you "dance" on an enlarge directional pad.