Chapter 15: Rampion Nuzel
Along with her crew, she walked up to the recently constructed Gothel Tower far from main streets of Nashville.
"Hey Rampion Nuzel!" Becky yelled. "Rampion Nuzel! Come out and send down The Hair!"
Arriving into view on the protruding fifth-floor balcony was an Eastern European woman with long golden hair that reached almost to the floor, and she was surrounded by a Beatles tribute band known as The Hair--right now, they were dressed in colorful Sgt. Pepper uniforms and armed with dangerous handguns.
"Fuck you, you fucking American!" Rampion yelled back. "And your fucking Pakistani friend too!"
"Well, I never!" Mira frowned.
"Red can pick that Russian bitch anytime!" Ginger cried.
"We need her alive, unfortunately," said Becky. "Or else she won't tell us where the glass slipper fragment."
"Go home!" Rampion yelled.
"You shut the fuck up!" Ginger yelled. "And send out your assassins! The Hair!"
"But we didn't have our tea yet," droned John, the leader of The Hair.
"And what will you do about it you New Jersey Yankee?" chided Jacob.
"Piss us off?" said Jingleheimer. "With what?"
"Your Jewish piss?" added Schmidt.
"I ain't no Yankee!" Ginger cried. "Becky, let's storm this fucking tower!"
"Like hell we can," said Becky. "You do recall that Rampion sealed off their doors."
Suddenly, a rubber chicken fell on Becky's head. Immediately after, various rubber and blunt objects rained silly on Becky, Red, Mira, Ginger, and their dog HLS. Objects include European porno magazines, blow-up dolls, Japanese comics, anime fansub tapes, rubber balls, slimy Nickelodeon toys, chewed-up and worn-out sex toys, action figures from defunct and unknown cartoon shows, and empty bottles of Sunny Delight.
"Ah, shit!" Ginger cursed. "Stop throwing shit at us!"
"Fuck you!" Rampion cried.
Becky and her crew ran pathetically from the rain of junk to the sealed front door of the Goethal Tower.
"What do we do now Becky?" Mira asked.
"It looks like we'll have to get some explosives or battering ram," said Becky.
"Oh yeah!" Ginger cheered. "We get to blow shit up!"
"Yay!" Red cheered.
"Arf," barked HLS.
Then they heard something unbolt. The girls turned around and saw that the reinforced shutters were retracting into the walls and the floor one by one. Finally, the front revolving doors unlocked.
"You might want to check it if it's booby-trapped Sis," said Ginger.
"Isn't that your job?" Becky asked.
"Um, well, I, uh, I am a valuable asset to this team! I'm not expendable!"
Red and HLS suddenly went through the revolving doors and happily ran around inside of its chamber. Nothing happened except that Ginger's butt was accidentally rubbed by the door, causing her to yell, "Aw, fuck, my butt!" much to Mira's wet delight.
After stopping Red's playfulness, the girls cautiously entered the dimly lit entrance lobby with their weapons drawn, or as in the case of HLS and Ginger respectively, their teeth and laptop computer out. It was empty, and the overhead security monitor was set to "Video 1" instead of showing the visitors themselves on screen.
"It must be one of those--" started Becky.
"Yeah, yeah, one of those traps," said Ginger. "Let's just take the elevator and kick some ass already."
"We should take the stairs," Mira suggested.
"If they let us in without incident," said Becky, "then they want us to meet them."
"You're obviously walking into a trap fat a--" Ginger said.
"Shush! No time for spanking! We gotta kick ass you know."
"That's my Sis!"
So they merrily took the elevator without incident, and they quickly reached the fifth floor where their targets would be waiting. This floor was the recreation room filled with exercise equipment, spas, lounge chairs, and a bar. The girls maneuvered through the floor searching for the entrance to the balcony, but they end up before a sealed-off large room.
Becky burst inside that sealed room. It was dark, and the door she kicked was heavy. She turned on her small flashlight and moved in with the others behind her. The walls were very shiny and glassy, as with the floors themselves.
The door behind abruptly closed by itself and bolted shut. Instinctually, the girls and their dog bunched up with the backs behind one another. All of a sudden, they came on. One by one the flat monitors consisting of the walls, doors, floor, and ceiling flickered into a dim glow that displayed the green text of "Video 1" on a dark gray screen.
"That's a lot of TVs," said Mira.
"More precisely flat-panel LCD monitors," corrected Ginger. "This place is loaded with them!"
"So they want us to watch something," smiled Becky. "I hope it's entertaining."
"Becky," Red uttered.
"Just remember the second rule and we'll be fine."
The screens turned blue, and now play was displayed. Colorful lines flickered, and they was an older but still beautiful woman sitting on the edge of a expensive bed inside and expensive room with her leg crossed over her crotch very provocatively. Dressed in satin pink lingerie, the woman smiled. As the camera readjusted itself, the woman revealed to have wolf ears on the top of her head, just like Becky's.
"Mother?" gasped Becky.
Her sword dropped onto the floor.
"Buongionoro," spoke the cameraman off-screen.
"Buongionoro," giggled Becky's mother.
"You are doing well, Virginia?
"I am."
"Are you worried about your husband?"
"Why should I? If I know Nero, he's probably at his friend's house with those whores."
"He is Italian and horny. Are you doing this to get back at him?"
"No. Even with his faults, I still love the asshole. I am only doing this out of fun."
"So shall we get started then?"
"Yes please."
"Ooh, looks like some action is about to go on!" grinned Ginger.
Usually, Becky would be content at watching a porn movie of any kind, including Down Syndrome porn. However, for this one, she could not bear to watch. She can't take off her eyes because the monitors were everywhere, and so was the sound. She collapsed to her knees breathing and sweating heavily.
"Please mother," she gasped. "Don't..."
On the screens, Becky's American mother, Virginia, engaged in a provocative orgy with four other men, most of which aren't bad. Mira and Ginger sat down to watch while waiting, yet Red and HLS came to Becky's care.
"What's wrong?" Red asked her.
"It's not that bad," said Ginger. "Shocking, but not bad."
Becky covered her eyes and curled up, but the glow from the monitors and the sounds were overwhelming her. All of a sudden, all of the girls beheld a sickening sight on the video:
A scat orgy.
Becky screamed at the top of her lungs, and she began striking the floor with her sword. The glass panels were tough, and barely a scratch was made. She then collapsed on the ground sobbing, and Red held on to her.
After five or ten minutes, the video stopped, and revered to the blue screen of the VCR. Becky lied there cringing, while Mira, Ginger, and HLS looked on. Ginger wasn't too pleased. Becky was exposed to her sole weakness, but she wasn't pissed. Rather, she was sobbing like a little girl. Pissed herself, Ginger kicks Becky's butt.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" she asked. "You're supposed to be pissed!"
"Shut-up," sobbed Becky.
"I looked up to you Sis! I sort of assumed that your weakness for scat was just a pet peeve. But no! It turns out that it caused you heavy psychological trauma! Sure, I do enjoy mentally torturing people, but it's no fun that they don't respond! Damn it!"
"Perhaps we should get out of here," suggested Mira.
Right after, the two exit doors unlocked and opened. Before them in the middle of the wall was cool air blowing from the exit to the balcony. Red sheathed Becky's Shinseiki and helped her to her feet, while Mira and Ginger cautiously took point.
"They're not here," said Mira.
"We're on the balcony, right?" Becky asked.
"Of course we are," said Ginger. "Are you blind?"
"Yes, I am."
"Stop fucking around!"
"I'M NOT JOKING GINGERBRAT! I'M FUCKING BLIND!"
Red waved her hand across Becky's eyes. They did not move.
"I think she is," said Red.
"This is just great!" Ginger cried. "Our fearless leader is now blind!"
"It must be caused by the trauma when she watched the video," Mira said. "I think we'd better find a safe place to recover."
"Can you cure Grandma?" Red asked.
"I can't. Her condition is something she must fight on her own."
"God damn it," Ginger cursed.
They led the blind Becky out of the balcony and the monitor room. Upon arriving the hallway, the colorfully dressed The Hair surrounded them with their assault rifles.
"Aye, look what we got here fellas," smiled John.
"Old Wolfe Ears and her little troupe," added Jacob.
"Mira!" Red cried. "The gas!"
Mira threw two special canisters spewing out smoke at both sides. As The Hair fired their guns, Red rolled into view to deflect their bullets and fire back, Ginger and Mira took Becky and rammed through Jingleheimer and Schmidt. Red soon joined up with her teammates as they broke into the stairwell and headed up the floors. Red covered their escape using her two Walther PPK pistols.
"Hurry up Red!" Mira cried.
Mira threw down another exploding smoke canister, and Red kicked into the doorway before the hair could get through. Using her teeth, Red pulled the pin off from one of her grenades and threw it to the doorway. The explosion blocked the entrance, and Red headed up to the stairs up to the eighth floor.
HLS was waiting for her when she arrived. Red followed to the empty network server room where the other three barricaded themselves in. After securing the exit, Red joined Mira, Ginger, and Becky as they huddled behind computer server racks, some chairs, a couple of tables, and one microwave.
"Red, why didn't you kill them?" Ginger demanded.
"Grandma's safety is first priority," said Red.
"Never knew that Sis was a cowardly fat-ass."
"What did you say to me?" Becky yelled.
Ginger stepped aside as Becky mistakenly pulled Mira over her lap, pulled her pants down, and began whacking her ass incessantly. Ginger laughed. Realizing her mistake, Becky lets go of Mira and allowed her to rub her now swollen butt.
"Sorry about that Mira," said Becky.
"I'm right over here," said Mira.
"You're right. This ass is too small."
Without realizing it, Becky was fondling HLS's butt. She ran her hands across the Doberman's sleek body until she reached the prosthetic nose hanging off her collar. HLS growled and bit Becky's hand.
"You stupid dog!"
Becky punched wildly, and inadvertently hit Red square in the face.
"Damn it!" Becky cursed. "Hold still!"
"Grandma!" Red cried as she held part of her red cloak to her bloodied nose. "Remember the second rule!"
"How can I abide by that when Rampion Nuzel knew my weakness? She's in cahoots with Güse!"
"What does that scat video have to do with Güse?" Ginger asked. "Did she con your mother into the orgy?"
"I didn't know it could be so traumatic," said Mira.
"It's not that," said Becky. "It's what happened after I watched the video. I already knew mother had strange fetishes."
"Strange fetishes?" Ginger grinned. "Ooh, tell us more!"
"Tell us," said Mira.
"Tell us Grandma!" cried Red.
"Arf!" barked HLS.
"It this were a TV show," started Becky, "we'd fade to a flashback."
I was born on 1978 in Porto Torres in the island of Sardinia, you know, that island of Italy south of Corsica, which at that time was controlled by the powerful Bouquet Family.
Anyway, my father was a nobleman and regional mob lord Nero Wolfe. While he was traveling to New York to visit some relatives, she met a Virginia Stephen, to which he promptly married. He took her back to Sardinia and had three children. The first was my older brother Thomas (or Tommaso as the local people call him), the second being yours truly, and the third was my younger brother Melvin (don't ask--my mother named him when she was drunk).
Despite our respected nobility and our control of most of the island, our family of five was quite odd, and our Libyan servants always made sure to ridicule us in their tongue, which my brothers and I understood since they themselves taught us Arabic on the side. Even so, we ourselves made fun of ourselves once in a while.
My dad always wanted to be a detective, but after failing to become an officer, he accepted his true calling and became the mob lord of our town. His first act was to punish the local police precinct for making fun his weight by singing their hair and putting matches on their toes so they can dance around like silly fools. After that that he didn't do some serious illegal acts except for the occasional extortion scheme of the mainlanders. He was promiscuous with other women, as with my mom with other men many years younger than her, so it kind of evened out. Once a month they would have sex, and they stopped when Melvin was born.
My mother was a daughter of a London prostitute who came to America for a better life. After her mother passed away due to a coffee overdose, Virginia had odd jobs such as waitress at Boobers (the precursor to Hooters), a reverse-stripper in Alaska, and an escort gal for Down syndrome clients. Father met mother when she was working at Studio 66 somewhere in New Jersey and they hitched immediately for no apparent reason other than the fact they met during a really messy scat orgy. During that time, the two of them intended to marry completely different people. Father ended his engagement with Cher's original body, and mother did the same with Herbert Hoover, who wore an S&M dress whenever he came to Studio 66 for "business".
My brother Thomas was seven years older than me. He was handsome, smart, and athletic, and had a thing with older women. I thought he was gay when confessed his fetish to me. Even at the age of fourteen, he was currently courting women more than twice his age.
My shy younger brother Melvin, who was two years younger than me, wore thick glasses and was a complete bookworm. Often, he was picked on in school, so naturally he would run to me for safety, being the tomboy that I was. Thomas often joked that he might turn gay if he grew up. I wouldn't mind really. Of all of the family members, I loved Melvin the most since he was cute.
I on the other hand despite all the promiscuous nannies and maids became a complete tomboy since there weren't a lot of female role models to choose from. In fact, I thought females were pretty weak considering the rural society I lived in. I was tall, and I kept my hair short. I was the heartthrob of all the girls and the undisputed leader of all the boys at my private school. Both mother and father were proud of me even though they did not know how I acted or what my grades were. I get into a lot of fights with older and stronger men and won, and I was then told that I single-handedly brought peace between all of the rival mob families of our island.
So life went well in our seaside town. Since father was a partner with the Bouquet family in Corsica, my brothers and I often played with Mireille and her brother. Sometimes, the daughter of the Cosa Nostra dropped by whenever her family came to visit. I hated that bitch. She's too psycho and too serious. What girl would pick flowers, fashion into a crown, and cut them into pieces with a dagger? So whenever Intoccabbile appeared, I would attack her, slap her around, and put her in a wrestling hold until she tapped out. She really can't back out of my torment since her father forced her to play with me.
Our visits to Corisca stopped when my father, Mister Bouquet, and the head of the Cosa Nostra was called into a meeting by the German mob lord Mistress Güse and her young teenage daughter Darryl Güse. I never caught a good glimpse of Mistress Güse, except that she was middle aged, but not haggard, and she carried with her an ornate Japanese sword with a dragon-shaped handle. Her daughter had a similar sword. I never liked Darryl when I caught sight of her piercing eyes. She was, as I would describe her, a "tall, dark, and bishoujo," but evil. She didn't look German, and she wasn't quite East Asian. I sort of assumed that she was fathered by a foreigner or adopted.
Thomas was fourteen, Melvin was five, and I was seven at that time. I wanted to listen on what they were saying, but Thomas pulled me away so we could play with the Bouquet children and that bitch Intoccabbile.
"Why are you pulling me away?" I asked Thomas.
"You saw the look on that girl's eyes, right?" he said.
"He's the same age as you," said Melvin. "Does she like you?"
"I don't know. But I don't like her, and it is clear that she does not like me."
"How come?" I asked.
"Well, um, you see... I sort of seduced her mother."
"That's not good," said Melvin.
"Let's forget about that right now. There's Mireille and his brother to play Voltron with, and Intoccablile to beat up."
"You got that right," I said. "Let the torture begin!"
And thus I had fun messing with Little Miss Cosa Nostra.
Since then, we never set foot on Corsica ever again.
I did not know what transpired during that meeting, but father had been feeling fearful lately, and he confessed to my mother in secret. She brushed it aside and laughed. Then she went off to the secret boy brothel to do her thing. Or perhaps she pretended to for our sake.
Father pulled us out of school and decided to homeschool us. He even fired all of our servants, maids, and nannies, and made sure that our teacher had a clean record. Melvin and I protested this, but Thomas told us to keep our mouths shut. It seemed that he knew more of what was going on.
One day during breakfast, my family suddenly treated me with the utmost respect. Mevlin stopped acting shy and seemed braver than usual. Mother wasn't being flighty, and Thomas seemed less like playboy for older women.
"You're doing okay?" father asked.
"Yes papa," I replied. "So what's up?"
"We'd like to have you run a special errand to uncle Leo's house."
"I don't wanna go there again."
"Listen to what your father says," snapped mother.
"What I want you to do little Rebecca," said father, "is to get some vintage wine in his cellar."
"Why can't you get our servants to do that?" I asked.
"We fired them, remember?"
"Then can Thomas and Melvin come with me?"
"We have to help papa clean out the storage shed," Thomas replied.
"We then have to go into town and get some bread from the baker," added Melvin.
"We're preparing for a big celebration!" mother interjected.
"Oh, I see," I said.
"Indeed," said father. "That is why I want you to get the wine yourself. I don't want any marauders to steal my precious 1923 from me."
"Okay papa! I won't fail you."
I left them on my bicycle, but I noticed that their faces were forlorn when I waved goodbye.
It was a relatively long trip to uncle Leo's house and vineyard. He was strange man, because he had a sock fetish. It did not matter what gender you were, if you were to spend a day at his place, all your socks would turn out missing. Even if you were to find them later, it would be grossly soiled and altered past its sane usefulness. Father always lamented his kooky brother's fetish, and wished he had normal fetish like that of a fondness for women's panties. Then again, sock and undergarment fetish were pretty unsanitary in the first place, and I often wonder if anyone became sick from collecting clothing from other people's drawers (no pun intended).
So I discarded my socks in a trashcan that was put out at the side of the road before I arrived. Uncle Leo, his wife Cleo, and their daughter Anna (who was six years older than me) welcomed me with open arms. All three of them were sockless as usual just as I was.
"Hello little Rebecca!" greeted Leo Wolfe. "We got some work for you do today!"
"I was supposed to pick some wine kooky Leo," I said.
"Ah, but you did owe me for drinking the vintage 1897 from my private stash."
"Damn it. I guess I have to repay you."
So I assisted my uncle and his family in stomping grapes, distilling wine, and tasting win, the latter of which uncle pressured me to do until I became drunk. Because of that I fell asleep after boxing with Anna, and woke up many hours afterward realizing that I have to get back to my house.
"Uncle," I said. "I need that vintage right now."
"Rebecca," spoke a forlorn uncle, "I don't think you should be going back right now."
"Why not?"
"We have to leave, Becky," said Anna.
"What are you hiding from me? What's going on?"
"We must hurry little Rebecca," said Cleo.
"Something must be going on with my family, right? Then I have to get back to them!"
"You can't!" cried uncle.
I broke from their restraints and started up uncle's motorized (and supposedly enchanted) yellow Vespa scooter. At a fast speed, I went down the road back to my house and saw a couple of dark sedans there. Immediately, I snuck in through my parents' bedroom and saw mountains of human feces surrounding my unconscious mother.
"Mama!" I cried. "Wake up!"
She wasn't breathing. There was no pulse in wrist and no beat from her heart. She lied there with glassy eyes and shit coming halfway from her anus.
"Dear God, mother what have you done to yourself?" I wept.
"...lucky for her that she died of constipation," said a voice from the backyard patio.
"Can't say the same for these three fools..." said another.
I wiped my tears and quietly snuck past the camcorder and out of the room. I made my way down the hallway and the closer I approached the louder was the whimpering were my father and brothers. I poked my head past the corner beheld a horrific sight past the windowed sliding doors.
I saw Mistress Güse and her daughter Darryl along with there others. The first was seven years old and had pretty hair and a pretty face. The second, who was a little older than me, had nappy hair and held two bloodied knives in her hand. The taller woman had a shaved head underneath a fedora hat, and she flexed her hands menacingly at my family.
My father, Thomas, and Melvin were on the ground with hands in their blood-soaked crotches. Melvin was whimpering loudly and pathetically yet the police or my father's men did no come to their aid. The older girl licked her knives grossly and seductively, and with the other she ate a bloodied cylindrical piece of flesh that I dared not to describe let alone remember.
"Oh why do you not prefer girls your age or younger?" the demented girl said to Thomas. "You Sardinians have strange tastes."
"I'll ask you again," said Mistress Güse, "where is your daughter?"
"I won't tell!" father cried out.
"Let me at him Mistress!" cried the demented girl. "I'll cut off his nipples and eat them!"
The skinhead woman put her large hand on the girl's shoulder and pulled him back.
"Mother," spoke the girl.
"So you'll be willing to sacrifice your sons to protect her I take it," said Mistress Güse.
"We chose of our own accord!" cried Thomas.
"Your valiant efforts were such a waste. Darryl my dear, will you do the honors?"
"Certainly mother," said Darryl.
Darryl stepped forward and unsheathed her dragon-handled sword.
"Secret technique DRAGON BLAZER!"
With that shout, Darryl made a single slash and literally blasted my father into pieces. Blood splattered all over the patio and everyone's bodies.
"Papa!" Thomas yelled.
Darryl performed her deadly Dragon Blazer technique at Thomas, and his remains splattered all over. Frightened beyond compression, Melvin mustered the strength to get back on her feet to run away. I anticipated in grabbing him, but Darryl killed him by yelling out and performing the "Dragon Shooter", which was a lazer-like slash that blasted a hole through his chest. My eyes watered and I covered my mouth in horror of my baby brother.
Suddenly, the pretty girl of my age saw me. She drew out her handgun and with both hands fired a shot. The bullet grazed my shoulder as I escaped through my room.
"She's here," she said.
"After her!" cried Mistress Güse.
I ran for my life as I jumped out of my bedroom window. By sheer luck, uncle's truck pulled up before me on the driveway, and leapt into the trunk with Anna and the yellow Vespa scooter. Uncle and auntie Cleo were in the front seats. The car reversed went on the roadway as the pretty girl took a shot at the tires.
"Uncle Leo!" I cried.
"They're after you," he said.
"But why?"
"It's best that you don't know in order to protect yourself," said Cleo.
"Then why did my dad and my brothers have to die? If they told me the truth, I would have sacrificed myself!"
"We can't let Güse take you or else the world will be in peril," said uncle.
"In time, you will discover the truth about the blood that flows in your veins," said Cleo.
As uncle tried to maintain control of his beat-up truck, one of the dark sedans appeared. Stepping out from the sunroof was that pretty girl, and this time she was armed with a sniper rifle. She fired a shot, and Anna pulled me down into the truck bed. The bullet went through rear window and through auntie's head.
Still, uncle pressed further. Anna leapt onto the Vespa and pulled me behind her. On a count of three, the two of launched out of the truck bed just as the child assassin fired another bullet through uncle's head. The truck spiraled out of control, and Anna sped up the Vespa and went off road through the fields.
I could hear the truck crash and exploding. Yet the dark sedan containing Mistress Güse and her girls were still on our tail.
"Please," I cried to Anna. "Just stop. I give myself to them. You don't have to die."
"I promised your father that I would protect you with my life," said Anna. "I know, I'm thirteen years old, but that doesn't mean I spent my life in vain. Becky you have to live not just for the world, but for all of us!"
"Anna!"
A bullet struck Anna's head. I quickly wrought control and pushed Anna's now-deceased body aside. I was fast approaching the cliff, and the dark sedan was fast approaching me. I didn't know what to do, so I decided to bank on the story of the enchanted yellow Vespa and closed my eyes as I flew off the cliff.
"This is an enchanted scooter," my uncle once told me. "It can fly."
Yes! I was flying!... for only a moment. I reopened my eyes only to scream haplessly at my descent to the jagged waters and rushing waters. I was pulled under the waves and was rendered unconscious.
When I came to, I didn't know where I was or what day it was. Then I heard voices and looked with hazy eyes at two older children.
"It looks like she's alive, Ted," said a cute black girl.
"I'll go get Gottmutter!" said the blonde boy named Ted.
I fully awakened in a small room in a small house by the Mediterranean. Looking over me were the two children I saw earlier and a big black woman dressed in colorful African dress.
"Are you awake little one?" said the big black woman.
I nodded.
"You have your scooter to thank you for that," she continued. "If you had let go of it, you wouldn't have made it all the way to Tétouan."
"Tétouan?"
"You're in Morocco," smiled Julie.
"My name is Venus Gottmutter," said the big black woman. "And these are my children, Julie Hime and Ted Theodore."
"What's your name?" asked Ted.
"Rebecca," I said. "Rebecca Maryland Wolfe."
"Welcome to our family Becky," smiled Gottmutter.
And that was how I first Gottmutter, Julie, and Ted.
Upon chance I landed on her winter home in Tétouan, Morocco. They readily took me in even though I said nothing about my past, though I could assume they sensed it in my eyes. I spent my days there playing with Julie and Ted as well as doing errands and some chores, some of which were dangerous and illegal. On certain days, I would spend the night alone in my room crying over the loss of my family. I could only assume the worst scenario that all my friends and relatives were murdered just for knowing me. But for what reason?
One night, Gottmutter came into my room to check on me, but I already had my question prepared for her after wiped my tears fully.
"I know who you are," I said. "'Godmother of Contract Killings'."
"I guess sooner or later my errands I gave to you would give me away," said Gottmutter.
"I want to learn the trade and become stronger."
"I assume there is also an ulterior reason?"
I nodded.
"When you learn the trade, the only thing that should be on your mind when you do the job is the job itself. If you let your emotions get the better of you, will be weakened, and more than likely you will get seriously wounded or killed. I won't send you off to training if you have those kind of emotions."
I bowed my head in shame.
"Then I'll do anything to be stronger!" I declared. "Even if it means I have to shove the desire for revenge aside for fifty years!"
"I'm not so sure."
"Let her do it Gottmutter!" chimed in Julie as she and Ted appeared at my doorway.
"She has been through so much!" added Ted. "You must let her become an Assassin-Mercenary!"
"I suppose," said Gottmutter.
"I'll train hard!" I cried. "I do the job with the utmost care and efficiency!"
"Okay. But before I let you go, you must learn the Gummi Bear Meditation technique."
"Okay!"
So I learned the Gummi Bear Meditation from Gottmutter for about a week. Never before I felt so relaxed and calm. However, the desire to become stronger lingered inside of me.
Thus, I traveled around the world learning martial arts, special fighting techniques, marksmanship, and escapology from people such as Kwai Chang Caine, Léon the Professional, Altena from Soldats, and Penn and Teller. At the same time, I did a number of odd jobs for Gottmutter, especially since the Cold War was reaching its last note. Hesitantly, I wanted to learn the mystical sword techniques in part of Darryl Güse's demonstration of her brutal abilities. So at the age of thirteen, I had myself transferred to Japan for special training under Azuma Sensei to learn something similar, or perhaps something more powerful.
"And after that you lost your virginity to Carmen Sandiego and did some odd jobs with the Biggs and Gottmutter," said Ginger.
"I wish I could tell you more," said Becky, "but The Hair is at the door."
"You're right," said Mira as he piles up more stuff to the bolted door. "Anytime they could blast their way here."
"So after the scat thing, you were traumatized by your family's death," said Ginger. "Big whoop. Not stop being blind!"
"I still can't see," said Becky.
"Shit. Now what?"
"We can try Holistic Cunnilingus," suggested Red.
"Do you know Holistic Cunnilingus?"
"No."
"Then why the hell did you suggest it?"
"I thought either you might have known."
"No one here knows!" cried Mira.
"Mira, do you have the Double-E pills on you?"
"This isn't the time!" Ginger yelled.
"It's in my bag," said Mira. "Why do you need them?"
"I'll attempt clit-to-clit resuscitation," said Red.
"This is now getting hokey," said Ginger. "I mean, why not stick snot into Sis's eyes? I heard it worked in India, right Mira?"
"I'm Pakistani," Mira corrected. "And despite traveling to India on numerous occasions, I know nothing of that remedy."
"How about we not do the snot thing, Gingerbrat?" Becky retorted.
"And you two are just going to have sex while The Hair is right outside the door?" Ginger said.
"You wanna join?"
"I'll pass."
Suddenly, Mira was behind Ginger with an eager smile.
"You know Ginger," blushed Mira. "The two of us could..."
"I SAID I'LL PASS!"
Mira's heart shattered once more. So took two steps back and slouched in sadness.
"Mira," said Red, "you and Ginger have to guard the door."
"Okay," droned Mira.
Red took one pill of Double-E and splits it in half. He ingested one for herself, and provocatively laid it on the tip of Becky's tongue. After she swallowed the pill, Red then went on to the kissing, the undressing, the tit fondling, to the good ol' cunnilingus, and finally to the rubbing and bumping of wet vaginas. The Double-E was at half strength since the two of them not only had to have hot tribade sex, but to be alert so they could kill the enemy at a moment's notice.
Mira and Ginger held off The Hair by piling more junk to the door and by throwing random canisters of gas at The Hair for around thirty minutes. During that time, Becky and Red screamed in unbridled orgasm time after time, and while Mira did all the work in defending the room, Ginger watched the two killer tribades with quasi-jealousy.
"Shit," Ginger cursed. "They're having fun at a time like this."
"Um, Ginger," smiled Mira. "My offer still stands."
"Let me think... Oh! They're done!"
"WHAT THE FUCK?"
"I only took half a pill, remember?" said Red during her passionate exhale.
"Then maybe Ginger and I can..."
"No time," said Becky as she quickly dressed back up. "We gotta kick Rampion Nuzel's ass."
"Damn it."
"Can you see now?" Ginger asked.
"Not a thing," smiled Becky.
"We're doomed. Fucking doomed."
"Remember the second rule Gingerbrat. And besides, even if I'm blind, I can still fight quite effectively. But you have to be my eyes."
"Why do I have to be your eyes, Sis? Why can't it be lolicunt, Tamil girl, or the Doberman bitch?"
"Arf!" barked HLS.
"I'm Pakistani," corrected Mira.
"Hey, do wanna live?" Becky asked.
"Then what's the purpose of the clit-to-clit resuscitation?" Ginger asked.
"To make Grandma feel better!" cried Red.
"And it worked!" added Becky.
"Fucking doomed," Ginger repeated.
So the girls stepped back away from the door and oriented Becky so that she could use her special move. They could hear the fake British voices of The Hair as they prepared blow up the door with their grenades.
"Are you ready girls?" Becky asked.
"No," replied Ginger.
"Good. Secret technique Lunar Crescent Cutter!"
With one sideswipe, Becky sent a flying crescent-shaped shot hurtling towards the door and the debris. They were cut up to pieces and collapsed, thus producing a gust of dust. Red charged forward through the gust in a flash and kicked in the groin John and Jacob of The Hair, and fired two shots at Jingleheimer and Schmidt's legs and arms. All four fell to their knees, and Ginger stepped in to kick them while they were down.
"Where's Rampion?" Becky demanded.
"Fuck you, Yankee!" cursed John.
"You're one too, so shut the fuck up!"
"Grandma! Duck!"
Becky narrowly dodged a bullet that then brushed Ginger's butt. Ginger cringed in pain and yelled once more, "Ah, fuck, my butt!" due to the ultra-sensitivity. Red shot back at Rampion, who was shooting back with her pistol.
"I'll take care of her!" Becky cried.
"But you're blind!" Red cried.
"That won't stop me!"
After bumping into Red and the bodies of The Hair, Becky finally began her chase of Rampion through the stairwell. Rampion tried to shoot back at her, Becky's enhanced hearing through her wolf ears on the top of her head pinpointed the source and allowed her to dodge and deflect each bullet.
"Shit!" Rampion cursed.
"Might want to be a little more quiet," said Becky. "I can hear everything, including your rapid heartbeat and the sweat running down your brow."
Rampion climbed all the way to the eighth floor and burst into the hallway frantic. She choose a random room, closed the door, and stepped back all the way to the window. She checked her bullets and saw that she was down to her last bullet.
The door was kicked upon. Wincing arrogantly, Rampion discarded her gun and pulled her secondary weapons, a hinged cutthroat barber's razor and a large scissors.
"Can you hear that Miss Wolfe?" Rampion said. "These things aren't just used to shave my legs and cut my hair."
"A master of barbershop close-combat?" said Becky as she gripped her Shinseiki tightly.
"Let's see of you could cut my hair with your clunky sword, bitch!"
The blind Becky charged and tripped on the short foyer steps. Rampion took advantage of this and dashed with her razor ready.
Becky grinned. She immediately recovered from her fall and performed a flip kick. Rampion jumped to narrowly block the swipe of the sword with her metal scissors. She then thrusts and swiped her razor at Becky many times until they stepped back from one another.
They continued the fight and then thrashed all of the furniture of this luxurious high-rise apartment. Eventually, they ran out of useful props to aid them in their fight, and now Rampion was backed up to the window.
Becky charged at her with one loud battle cry. Then Rampion threw her scissors straight towards Becky, which she blocked. Suddenly, Rampion pulled down the curtains and threw to Becky. She ensnared her, and crashed her through the window.
"Fall to your death!" Rampion cried as she poked her head out of the window.
Just as the curtains flew off her, Becky, at the last minute, grabbed a good tuft of Rampion's hair so she could hang on. Rampion was jerked down, forcing her to maintain her grip on the windowsill or else she would fall.
"Bitch!" Rampion cursed. "Let go of my hair!"
"No!" Becky retorted.
"Let go of my hair or else!"
"Or else what?"
The razor remained in Rampion's left hand. Yet, she could not bring herself to cut her beautiful golden hair her poopah said was the most beautiful in the old country somewhere in Eastern Europe, or maybe Western Russia. So she dropped her razor and began beating Becky's hand so she could let go.
Big mistake. The heavy weight of Becky pulled Rampion out of the room, and the two fell from the building.
Moments later, Mira and Red pulled Becky's unmoving body to a grassy lawn. Red sat on Becky missionary style and repeatedly shook her shoulders.
"Grandma!" she cried. "Grandma! Please wake up! Please wake up!"
Mira bowed her head solemnly and held back her tears as much as possible. Red continued bawling and beat on Becky's large breasts. Salted tears flowed from her eyes, silky drool from her mouth and sticky snot from her nose.
The snot then fell into Becky's eyes. They twitched, and fully opened only to have more of Red's heavenly snot dropping into her eyes.
"HOLY SHIT!" Becky cried.
She shot to her feet, tossing Red aside in the process. Becky began rubbing her eyes incessantly to get the gross snot out of her eyes while dancing and kicking around screaming. She accidentally kicked Mira and Red in the process, and fell back to her bottom after crying out the viscous boogers out of her eyes.
Becky looked at Red.
"Jeez, wipe your nose sometimes," said Becky. "That's just wrong."
"Sorry Grandma," smiled Red.
"Hey, wait. I can see. I can see! Hallelujah I can see!"
"Either you got over your trauma," said Mira, "or Ginger's suggestion actually worked."
"Let's do the happy tribade dance!"
"Yay!" cried Mira and Red.
And they danced for a short while to random porno-like tunes they spat from their mouths.
"Thank you Red-chan!" Becky cried. "Anway, how did I end up here?"
"You and Rampion landed on a big rose bush," replied Mira. "You suffered some cuts from the thorns, but it's nothing serious."
"At least I didn't poke my eyes out. So what happened to Rampion and The Hair?"
"Ginger's interrogating them."
"And you injected with the truth serum?"
"Yes I have."
The three girls walked over to the front entrance where Rampion and the four men of The Hair were tied together with an itchy rope. HLS stood guard, and Ginger sat with her laptop computer on her lap typing away and asking extremely personal questions.
"And for the last question," began Ginger, "what is your deepest, darkest, secret?"
"This isn't my real hair color," replied Rampion.
"I think Baby Spice is hot," replied John.
"I accidentally shagged Prince Charles," said Jacob.
"I have fantasies of having an orgy with John Cleese, Rowin Atkinson, and Margaret Thatcher," said Jingleheimer.
"I LOVE TELETUBBIES!" screamed Schmidt.
"Very interesting you weirdoes," smiled Ginger.
"Have you asked them where the glass slipper fragment is?" Becky asked.
"I was just getting to that."
"It's on the fourteenth floor in room 802," replied the drugged-up Rampion. "It's in the safe behind the painting a woman squeezing the tit of an another woman. The combination is 20 three times left, 13 two times right, and you turn left to end on zero."
"You got that Ginger?" said Becky.
"Yeah, yeah," replied Ginger as she typed the instructions.
"And another question--where is Darryl Güse hiding?"
"I... I... I..." stuttered Rampion.
HLS's ears stiffened, as did Becky's. Suddenly three precise sniper bullets pulverized the brains John, Jacob, Jingleheimer, Schmidt, and Rampion. As their bodies limped, all of the girls except for Red took cover.
"Red-chan!" cried Becky.
"We're not their target," said Red. "By the time we reach them, they'll be gone."
"Damn it! Darryl's tryin' to cover her tracks again!"
"Becky," said Mira, "the second rule."
Becky took a deep breath, and let out a long sigh. "I suppose you're right. Let's go get the glass slipper fragment."
The girls dumped Rampion and The Hair's bodies in a dumpster and taped a sign on it that read, "Dead Weirdoes Inside." Then they headed up to the fourteenth floor and burst into room 802. They were eager to see the painting they had heard so much in the tribade circles, which was a great classic of the baroque period. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), it was a self-portrait of a smiling and nude Gene Duo Biggs pinching the nipple of a disgruntled and nude Jean Owen Biggs in front of Disneyworld, which, despite the happy faces on the children being sold and bought as sex slaves by white male and middle-aged pedophiles, was being demolished by an apocalyptic battle between Godzilla (as the Second Christ) and Barney the Purple Dinosaur (as the anti-Christ). After punching the combination on the hidden safe, they took the glass slipper fragment from a velvet case, and Ginger quietly stole the painting by Gene Duo Biggs only to smash it over Red's head in a fit of anger because she blamed her for dropping her ice cream when they stopped at Baskin Robbins.
"You owe a new Gene Duo Biggs painting!" Ginger yelled.
To make up for Red's framed transgression, Mira put to sleep the workers at the ice cream parlor and stole all their ice cream. Later, all of them got brain freezes from eating too much too fast.
And thus, FBI agents Jonathan Dish and Patrick Spoon arrived at the scene to clean up Becky's mess once more.
"When is this going to end?" lamented Dish.
"Hey Dish," said Spoon. "They're dead weirdoes inside this dumpster."
"Don't believe everything you read."
"No, I'm serious! I think these four guys look like the Beatles in their Sgt. Pepper uniforms."
"It's 1999. John Lennon's already dead."
From atop of another luxury condo tower far from the scene, Charlotte disassembled her large state-of-the art Armatek SLK800 high-powered sniper rifle with the help of her demented older sister and her skinhead mother.
"That is nice shooting, dear," said Celeste.
"Thank you mother," said Charlotte.
"Why does she get all the thanks?" Cecilia asked.
"Because you show no restraint in your attacks," replied Celeste.
"It does not matter as long as they are killed."
"Either way, Güse's orders are absolute."
"Won't Rebecca Maryland Wolfe suspect the truth?" asked Charlotte.
"In time. By then it would be too late."
"And then I'll have my revenge on 'her'," grinned Cecilia.
And so, Becky and her girls made it back to their cabin home outside of Nashville and by the river. Ginger and Mira, who had been carefully assembling the glass slipper fragments into its original form since their journey started, had called Becky, Red, and HLS to Ginger's room to announce that they were now about 95% complete.
"There could be one or two more pieces," said Mira.
"Or a hundred microscopic pieces," remarked Ginger.
"That would not be possible. This is a very a strong glass."
"One more piece," said Becky. "And then we have to get the other half of the slipper Darryl Güse has."
"And perhaps I can finally remember my past," said Red.
"You're sounding smarter by the day, Red-chan."
"Snot from lolitas make good aphrodisiacs."
"I spoke too soon."
"I want candy!"
"Okay, okay, I'll bust out the candy basket."
"Hold on a second Sis," Ginger said.
"What now?"
Ginger grinned evilly. "I've eaten so many prunes and burritos for this very moment," she said. "To top it off, I injected myself with a slow-release enema syringe. Now feast your eyes on this!"
Ginger stripped naked (very much to Mira's delight). She stoops with her butt facing Becky and defecating before her.
"Get pissed!" Ginger cried. "Get pissed! Get pissed! Get pissed and blind you bitch!"
Becky sighed. "You do remember the third rule, don't you?"
"It's your weakness Sis!"
"Scat is gross. It's unsanitary and it spreads germs. Seriously Gingerbrat, you should have known better."
"What? I thought the nightmare of you mother being covered by poop still haunts you?"
"Not anymore thanks to Red-chan. Now clean this mess up!"
"Damn it!"
The nude Ginger stood up and kicked her feces.
"Now how am I going to piss you off?"
Ginger thought for a moment, and smiled evilly once more.
"Fat... ass..."
"What did you say?" Becky asked.
"Fat... ass..."
"Louder!"
"SIS, YOU ARE A FAT ASS!"
Ginger was happily hoisted off the floor and put into a prone position across Becky's legs by the Assassin-Mercenary herself. As she sat on Ginger's bed, Becky repeatedly spanked Ginger's head ten times.
"Fat ass!"
Becky spanked her ten times again.
"Fat ass!"
Becky spanked yet again.
The process repeated itself throughout the night until the spanking and name-calling slowed to crawl. Becky and Ginger became tired and began dozing off. It was a cute moment for both Mira and Red, and it kind of made them jealous. So they took a picture or two and put a blanket on them.
Then cleaned Ginger's feces and vaporized it with a grenade out in the back, which did not wake the sleeping Becky and Ginger. After disinfecting the floor one last time, Mira, Red, and HLS gathered around Becky and Ginger and slept by them quite happily.
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