Chapter 13: Unnecessary Crossover #1 [or, How Chloe Lost her E-mail]
A purple-haired and green-cloaked stoic girl walked underneath the moonlight in the streets of Paris along with a quiet Japanese (perhaps) 16-year old and a trendy and somewhat worldly blonde Corsican older girl. She already knew that the Japanese girl had a dual-prong fork tucked underneath the sleeve of her pink sweater. Thus, she turned around to stare deeply into her eyes.
The purple-haired girl grabbed the Japanese girl's right arm and abruptly lifted it up to her sight with the palm facing up. Grasping it with confidence, the purple-haired one pulled out the fork. She inspected it, smiled, and asked of the Japanese if she could keep it. Her new friend did not answer, for it seemed futile to give one anyway. And so, the purple-haired girl slipped into one of knife holsters and became the new owner of that lowly fork.
"Let us have tea again," she said to her new friends. "Someday..."
And so the purple-haired girl in the green cloak started off on her long trek to her home, the Manor, which is in an area in Europe forgotten by time. Then again, there aren't really that many places forgotten by time, especially in Europe. So in some sense it is really easy to find such places using satellite imagery, travel books, or just by asking the locals.
But what really raises her ire is the distance she is forced to cover on foot. Her mother-like matriarch, Altena, told her to make use technology as little as possible in order to be an effective assassin. Deep in Chloe's mind, traveling to and from the Manor through walking is a pain in the ass.
To see her "mother's" smiling face when she arrives home immediately makes her forget the trouble walking home. So Chloe embraces Altena with open arms like an obedient child. Chloe loves her "mother" very much, and Altena reciprocates her love as if she is one.
One day, Chloe made an unusual request to Altena. Even though the use of high technology is forbidden, Chloe really wanted a computer so she can send emails to her new friend, particularly to Kirika.
"What is this 'email' you are talking about?" asked Altena.
"They say it is short for 'electronic mail'," replied Chloe. "It is how the two in Paris receive most of their assignments."
"It is like sending regular mail, but somehow they get letters on the computer."
"I see. But Chloe, you know about our policy."
"I understand, Altena."
"But since this is the other sapling we are talking about, I suppose having one these 'computers' would not hurt. I will ask Esteban to get you one when he picks up the wine that we created."
Chloe's face lit up, and she immediately hugged Altena with utter glee.
"Thank you so much!" she wept.
Not far from the manor, there is a blue 80's model American SUV trudging its way down the dirt road in the scenic barrenness of the land forgotten by time--in Europe. Inside this SUV in the back seat sits a cosmopolitan-dressed Muslim Pakistani lesbian, a female Doberman pincher with a prosthetic nose hanging off her collar, and tomboyish bespectacled young girl scribbling obscenities and ways to rip people off in her Apple Newton. In the driver's seat sits a handsome and masculine young woman with dark hair and wolf ears on the top of her head, and in the passenger's seat sits a child-like seventeen year-old with cherry red hair and a red cloak and hood. This little girl is busying herself playing with Barbie doll versions of Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera--in a steamy lesbian make-out scene.
"Are we there yet?" moaned Ginger as she punches away on her Newton.
"No," replied Becky the wolf-eared driver.
"Are we there yet?"
"Are we there yet?"
"Are we lost yet?"
"Wrong answer Sis! We're lost as hell thanks to you!"
"Whose fault it is for getting those farmers pissed and chasing us out of town?"
"Hey, how was I supposed to know that gesture was offensive to them?"
"It is. It's in the book you bought."
"Oh, that. Well, I'm damn proud buying The Encyclopedia of Offensive Cultural Gestures. But seriously, where the hell are we? We're in the fucking middle of nowhere--in Europe! How sad is that?"
"I'm sure we'll run into something, Ginger," said Mira, the Pakistani lesbian.
"I'm definitely gonna run this Apple Newton into Sis's fat--"
"Don't you dare say it!" Becky snapped.
All of a sudden, their SUV choked, and choked until it slowed to a stop. With all eyes on her, Becky turned the key and attempted to start the vehicle back up again, but to no avail.
So the girls and their dog, HLS, leap out of their vehicle to stretch and then attempt to diagnose the problem with their American SUV. Becky opened the hood of their car and became overwhelmed with the stereotypical white steam of car trouble. Meanwhile, the redheaded Red Little went off to the side of the road to continue to play lesbian pop-stars. Mira and HLS walked out to smell the fresh air, and Ginger pulled out her satellite finder device out of her laptop bag in order to find a signal.
"Um, guys," said Becky. "Do any of you know how to fix a car?"
"You're probably out of gas, ass," said Ginger.
"I only said ass. Don't have a cow, Sis."
"Do you know how to fix a car?"
"Sure I can!... um, I need an internet connection to download the service manual, and seeing that we are in the middle of nowhere."
"Is there an owner's manual in the glove compartment, Miss Wolfe?" Mira asked.
"Red-chan burned it using Ginger's matches," replied Becky.
"Yeah, it was so cool," Ginger said. "That and the one church burned down so beautifully!"
"Which is another reason why they drove us out of town," mumbled Becky.
"But your second rule of Assassin-Mercenary Methodology is that you should be relaxed--not them."
"True, but pissing them off is getting us nowhere."
"Is the car sick Grandma?" Red asked as she arrived to hood of the automobile.
"Uh, yeah Red-chan. The car's sick, but Grandma will take care of everything."
"Maybe I can fix it."
Red pulls out two pistols and aims it at the car's engine. Mira, Ginger, and HLS gasp in utter horror for they know what is about to happen next.
"Oh shit!" Ginger cursed. "Hit the deck!"
Red fires all of her bullets into the engine. Mira, Ginger, and HLS run off to take cover, and Becky pulls the sweet, innocent, and ignorant Red off the ground and runs to safety as the vehicle explodes into one large fireball. The blast lifted Becky and Red off their feet and sent them hurtling into the air. Seconds later, they descend to roll and tumble onto the dirt road. Becky slowly rises up to watch the exploded car burn away.
"At least I don't have to worry about fixing it," smiled Becky.
"That's great Sis," said Ginger. "And we're gonna die--in Europe."
"It couldn't be that bad," said Mira.
Gathering whatever they can salvage from their SUV, Becky and the other girls marched their way on the lifeless dirt road across the middle of nowhere in Europe. About a miles so, their legs became tired, and they trudged along like zombies. Then their stomachs growled, and all of them began sweating.
"Are we there yet?" Ginger moaned.
"No," said Becky, who is in the lead.
"Are we there yet?"
"Are we there yet?"
"Are we dead yet?"
"No. Now shut-up."
"It's all your fault Sis."
"How is it my fault?"
"I would of stolen the orange Volkswagen, but no, you wanted to go for the unreliable American car."
"Actually, they're both pretty unreliable," said Mira.
"My lips are sealed," Mira winks.
"Grandma, my legs are tired," whined Red.
"Okay, Red-chan," said Becky. "Get on my back."
Red leapt onto Becky's back, and the two resumed their trek.
Watching the two lovebirds, Mira had an idea.
"Say, Ginger," Mira blushed. "If you're tired, you I can carry you on my back."
"Now you're talkin' Miss Hindu!" cried Ginger.
Ginger forcefully leapt onto Mira's back and caused her to temporarily lose her balance.
"Onward mighty Kyrgyzstan steed!" Ginger cried out. "And let's beat Sis and Red in the process!"
She wasn't going anywhere. Ginger looks down to see Mira's legs shaking.
"I'm so sorry Ginger," wept Mira. "You simply weigh too--oh!"
Mira collapsed to the ground with Ginger on her back. Of course, Mira is awfully glad to have Ginger on her even though she is just taking advantage of her. Pissed, Ginger starts kicking and hitting Mira's head.
"Get up you horse!" Ginger yelled. "Sis and Red are getting away from us! Oh, great! Now they disappeared!"
"Disappeared?" wondered Mira. "That's not possible. This is a flat road."
Ginger leapt off of Mira and looked around. Becky and Red are nowhere in sight.
"Those bitches ditched us!" exclaimed Ginger.
Mira struggles back to her feet, stretches, and starts dusting herself off.
"Well, now that we're alone," Mira blushed. "Perhaps we could..."
"HLS!" cried Ginger. "Go find them!"
"Woof!" acknowledged HLS.
Ginger and Mira picked up their usual belongings as they followed HLS down the road. Their canine companion suddenly turned a sharp right and went down an incline and ended up on a watery creek. There, they found Becky and Red on their butts dazed and confused.
"What happened to you guys?" Mira asked them.
"We fell," said Becky.
"We went down together!" Red blared out.
"I would not find that surprising," noted Ginger.
Suddenly, HLS ran away from them towards the East.
"Hey, where's the dog goin'?" asked Ginger.
"HLS!" Mira cried out. "Wait!"
The girls got back to their feet and chased after HLS until they reached the top of another incline overlooking a very expansive vineyard.
"A vineyard," said Mira.
"A vineyard?" repeated Becky. "Vineyards have grapes, and that means--BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZE!"
In a mad frenzy, Becky kicked up tons of smoke-like dust and charged down the hill towards a ruined and weather-beaten stone building that might serve as an alcoholic beverage storehouse.
"You idiot!" cried Ginger. "Grapes make wine!"
Ginger retains her anger as her stomach growled in unison with Red and Mira's stomachs. Driven by instinctual hunger, the three ran down to the vineyard and immediately started to devour the grapes.
Red gave HLS some grapes, but the black Doberman threw it up after munching on it for a while.
"Why won't HL-Snagglepuss eat the grapes?" Red asked.
"Grapes are bad for dogs," said Mira. "They get renal failure if they eat too much."
"Anal failure?" asked Ginger.
"Renal failure. It means that the kidneys fail to function properly."
"I did not know that..."
After swallowing the grape that was in her mouth, Ginger pulls out her Apple Newton PDA to jot down a note titled "Foods that will kill dogs." She then starts a list beginning with grapes.
"So what else kills dogs?" Ginger asked.
"Chocolate," replied Mira.
"Uh-huh. And what else?"
"Onions, Macadamia nuts, antifreeze..."
Unbeknownst to the girls was that a purple-haired girl dressed in a white shirt and khaki pants was picking grapes across from the field. Being a skilled assassin that she is, Chloe always carried with her a couple of throwing knives to strike down any intruder who dared trespass in the manor.
Even before Becky and the girls arrived at the field, Chloe hid herself beneath the bush line and stealthily crawled closer and closer to them with one knife in her hand. Although conversation between these three female strangers is light and yet silly, she dared not underestimate them. The one that gave her a bad feeling was the red-haired girl who seemed to be shoving the grapes happily down her throat.
Suddenly, Red stopped eating. Then she quietly chewed and swallowed all the crushed grapes in her mouth. Slowly she reaches her hand into her side for her pistol.
"And that is why we should not be feeding her table scraps," continued Mira.
"Aw come on!" cried Ginger. "Dogs are supposed to eat anything that we don't want, like bone, cow testicles, and whatnot. But you have a point when you said HLS is getting slightly overweight. She certainly developed into a fat ass."
"Grrrrr," growled HLS.
"That is not very nice thing to say to her," noted Mira.
"Ow, and what is she going to do? Spank me? Bite my ass?"
"Ginger get down!" Red cried.
Just then, a knife strikes Ginger's right butt.
"Oh, fuck!" Ginger screamed. "My butt!"
Just then, Mira wets her panties--not with urine, though.
With serious eyes, Red shoves Mira and Ginger into the round and fires two shots at the source of the knife. Their hidden assailant disappears and quickly dashes away.
As Ginger clutches her bleeding butt, Red leaps over the bushes and gives chase to Chloe. After spotting her, Red jumps over another bush and plunges the barrel of her gun straight towards her head. It's point blank, but Red could not shoot as Chloe has her knife just a half-millimeter from her neck.
"Chloe!" Altena cried out. "Stand down!"
"You too Red-chan!" Becky cried out.
Red and Chloe break from their stalemate and re-holster weapons. Mira, Ginger, and HLS emerge from hiding shortly afterwards. They all look to see the priestly Altena and Becky standing together from the doorway of the building. Becky has a bottle of wine in her hand and is drinking it down every few seconds.
"Please do not kill them dear Chloe," said Altena. "They are our guests for the moment."
"I am sorry, Altena," bowed Chloe.
"I am terribly sorry about the misunderstanding Miss Wolfe. We do not get many visitors here."
"I'll say," said Becky. "We're in the middle of nowhere--in Europe."
"Actually, we're close to the border of Spain and France."
"...I knew that."
"No you didn't, Sis!" screamed Ginger. "You thought we were in Greece or something!"
"But the ruins around here looked like it..."
"Please come in," said Altena. "All of you must be tired from you journey."
As the other girls walk in, Red and Chloe give one last serious stare at each other until Red smiled her full force of playful innocence.
"My name is Red Little!" Red said as she extends her right hand out.
Sensing her friendliness, Chloe smiled her full force of innocent slyness. Then she extended her right hand to shake Red's
"Charmed," said Chloe as she shook. "I am Chloe."
"Let's be friends!" declared Red.
"That would be wonderful."
Once inside, Altena and Mira brought Ginger to the kitchen. There they patched up Ginger's wound on her butt, and once again Ginger rejects Mira's offer to kiss it to make it feel better.
"God this is place is in ill need of repair," said Ginger.
"I find this place to be perfectly adequate for our needs," said Altena.
"That's if you want to live in the dark ages."
"In a sense, this world is still in the dark ages."
"You got no electricity woman. How dark age can you get?"
"Electricity? I have heard of that term before..."
Altena then gave a tour of the ancient building and showed them the great hall, the bath, the weapons chamber, and the torture chamber. Ginger was slightly disappointed with the latter two chambers because the weapons were rusting and outdated, and the torture chamber has been empty for ages.
"Why are there no torture devices in this room?" Ginger complained. "You've got the suckiest torture chamber ever!"
"Torturing is not necessary here," replied Altena. "Our saplings are well aware of the consequences should they ever fail their trial."
"In other words, two women alone won't be able to maintain the upkeep of this place," said Becky. "So keeping prisoners alive is too much of a burden."
"That's no fun," said Ginger. "But tell me, where you keep the dead bodies?"
"Esteban takes them off our hands," said Chloe.
"Esteban? I thought only you two live alone here."
"Esteban is our groundskeeper and handyman," said Altena. "He only comes here twice a week."
"Mistress Altena," Becky started, "I know we are being a bit of bother to you, but would you mind allowing us to stay a couple of days?"
"You are more than welcome to," smiled Altena.
"Thank you so much!" Becky turns to her group and says, "Girls, we're staying here!"
"What the fuck?" cursed Ginger. "Like hell we're staying in this dingy place!"
"Of course we are, so shut-up. Besides, I think we're close to our target."
"You only want to stay here because of the wine you fat butt!"
"What did you say?"
"I said fat butt. Jeez, you're getting unnecessarily trippy, Sis."
"Ah, that reminds me," started Altena, "since Miss Baker looks to be a computer expert, perhaps you can help my dear Chloe with her computer problem."
"First of all, you have no electricity. That's the problem."
"If you would be so kind to at least take a look. She really needs to use this 'e-mail' technology I keep hearing about."
"Well, my services are not cheap, and judging by the way things look around here I will only accept anything gold or silver as legal tender."
"I promise that you will be rewarded fully."
"Hot diggity!" Ginger then puts a friendly hand on Chloe's shoulder. "Okay, Purple, show me to your computer."
"Purple?" said Chloe.
"Yeah, I'm talkin' to you Purple."
"Why are you calling me Purple?"
"'Cuz you have purple hair. And Red is named so because she has red hair."
"Sometimes Ginger likes to call me Donkeycunt," said Red.
"That's nice Donkeycunt. Now let's go."
As Altena led Becky and Mira to their guest rooms, Chloe led Ginger, Red, and HLS to her own room, which is the same as all of the other rooms that has a bed, a dresser, and a desk.
"Here it is," Chloe said.
When Ginger's eyes fell on Chloe's computer, she laughed so hard that she fell to her knees. Numerous times she tried to regain composure, but Ginger could not hold her joy until five minutes has passed.
"I had to let it out," she said.
"What's so funny?" Chloe asked.
"Oh, it's nothing. I think the problem here is that you're using a very old computer."
"Esteban said it worked for his mother--before she died of pneumonia."
"Therein lies the problem. You see this computer is the original Apple Macintosh released in 1984. The monitor has a strange logo burned in, I can smell the capacitors leaking, and even if you did have electricity, this thing does not have a 10/100 Ethernet card let a alone a dial-up modem to connect to the Internet."
"So the computer is bad?"
"More precisely the computer is junk. I'll show you a real computer."
From her laptop bag, Ginger pulls out her latest IBM laptop and opens it up so the screen and keyboard are showing.
"This is a IBM Thinkpad 240, one of the lightest notebook computers on the market," said Ginger.
"It's so small," said Chloe. "Can I buy that off you?"
"Hmm, it took a lot of work for me to steal this thing from the IBM development laboratories. Tell you what, I'll sell you my Thinkpad 770."
"Then it is a deal."
"But we also have to solve the problem of not just electricity, but an Internet connection. In order to get those things, you need is a couple of high-powered generators, a satellite transmitter, a whole mess of IBM rackmount servers, a satellite dish for the big screen TV, a THX surround-sound home theater system complete with a DVD player, and leather couches. These things are very expensive you know."
"I'm sure Altena will pay for it."
"Excellent," Ginger grimaced.
"I guess Esteban will have to bring all those items here."
"Esteban will break his back trying haul that crap."
"I'll have Altena prepare a letter to send to him."
"A letter? Is something wrong with you Purple? It will take forever to get these things! Don't you at least have a telephone here? Or a telegraph line?"
"Our service provider merged with the phone company and then discontinued telegraph service. So we communicate to Esteban via carrier pigeon."
"Carrier pigeon? Oh..."
Ginger suddenly remembered that during the tour of the outside of the Manor main building she threw a canister of nerve gas she pilfered from Mira's bag into the pigeon coop, for she wanted to see pigeons heads explode, which they didn't. Instead, they simply danced, shook, and broke their own backs in their afflicted convulsions.
"Um, yeah," said Ginger. "About those pigeons you showed us..."
"Yes?" said Chloe.
"They flew away."
"Yeah, Red and I were in there, and we scared the shit out of HLS, who then ran off and scared the shit out of the pigeons. Red was stupid enough to open the cages and then they flew away. Yeah, that's what happened."
"That's too bad. I guess we'll have to walk to town to place the order. Would you like to come with me?"
"Sure Chloe!" Red said.
"I'll come too," said Ginger. "But first, Red and I have to do something... unrelated... to the pigeons... Isn't that right Red?"
Ginger grabs Red's hand and the two run off.
"Those are strange girls," said Chloe.
With the help of Mira, Ginger and Red dug a hole by the pigeon coop and threw all of the dead pigeons into it. They torched the pigeons, and after the fire died down the plugged up the hole hoping that the older woman and young purple-haired living in the lonely manor do not find out about their transgression.
"I hope you guys learned your lesson," said Becky, who had been watching them the whole time.
"Of course we did," said Ginger. "Nerve gas does not necessary make pigeon's heads explode."
"That's not exactly what I expected."
"Then what it is the lesson then?"
"Let me think..."
Just then, Chloe and Altena appear from the building, Red, Ginger, and Mira threw their shovels aside and put on a show of smiles for them.
"Are you guys ready?" Chloe asked.
"Yes we are," replied Ginger.
"Um, do you mind if I came with you girls?" Mira asked. "I hope you don't mind an older woman hanging out with you, but I would like to see the Iberian countryside."
"We would not mind," said Chloe.
"Just don't get in our way when we make quick work of the town," said Ginger. "Isn't that right Red?"
"Ginger sometimes puts the hands of the unconscious on the butts and crotches of others," said Red.
In a hammer-like strike, Ginger hits on Red squarely on the top of the head. It did not hurt.
And so Becky and Altena bid the girls farewell. Joined by HLS, Ginger, Red, Mira, and Chloe begin their long trek through the rocky flats to the next town, wherever that may be.
"How long is it to the next town?" asked Ginger.
"About at an hour," replied Chloe.
"An hour? Don't you have a bicycle?"
"Then what's this here?" Ginger asked as she pinched Chloe's butt.
"That's my butt."
"That's your ass, ass, which is the American term for butt."
"Let's sing a song!" Red cried.
"I'm in," said Chloe.
"So am I," said Mira.
"What song to you want to sing?"
"Britney Spears's 'Hit me Baby one more time'!"
The group fell silent. Chloe does not know the lyrics let alone know who she is. Mira and Ginger know exactly who Britney is, but they pretended that they never heard of her. Both of them envied Chloe's ignorance of this manufactured pop star child of the RIAA.
"I do not know that song," said Chloe.
"How about Aluetta?" Mira suggested.
"I know that song."
"I do too," Ginger said, "and I don't want to hear it."
"Do you know that song, Red?"
"Of course I do!"
"Then let's start."
"Oh no. Don't you dare start!"
For the rest of the way, Red, Mira, Chloe, and even HLS sang at the top of their lungs foreign-language children's songs that irritated Ginger to near madness. For them, the entire trip became shorter, although for Ginger it was a long hell. They had finally stopped singing when the reached town.
On her Apple Newton PDA, Ginger scribbled down her companion's names in the revenge list in addition to Fat-Ass (Becky), Bitch (Britney Spears), Cunt (Christina Aguilera), and U.S. Supreme Court judge William H. Rehnquist.
The town they arrived looks as if the girls were transported to old time Europe one hundred years ago despite the few phone cables hanging between the buildings and the occasionally sighting of a car. The people, most of whom are farmers and herders, go about the usual town business, but for some strange reason they spoke a strange language. Chloe, who is partially versed in that language, says it is Basque. Thankfully, at least more than a quarter of them can speak French and/or Spanish, although less than one eighth can speak fluent English. The Basques prefer to speak their native language when in their own village or town, and the major language of the country they reside in elsewhere.
Although Ginger is fluent in Spanish, she is surprised that all of her other colleagues are multi-lingual as well--Red especially, although she sometimes say outrageous, indecent, kinky, and sometimes gross things to other people. To those who spoke and understood only Basque such as the elderly, Chloe hesitantly translated Red's remarks.
At the town, Mira busied herself buying and bartering at the local food market with help with Chloe. Chloe, as it turns out, is well respected by the townsfolk and many of them offer gifts that she politely declines. Some were too pushy in their generosity, so Chloe accepted the gifts on the basis that they give them to her new friends. This made Mira's shopping for food ingredients much easier and cheaper.
As HLS busied herself shagging the dogs with her double dildo strap-on, Ginger and Red head to the hotel where a public telephone is located. The hotel is small and old, but it is clean and retains most of the European classiness one would very rarely find on the highways of the United States of America.
Red busied herself talking to the lone hotel manager, who happens to fluent in English. Ginger, on the other hand toyed with the old rotary phone that she quietly cursed at the outdated technology. However, she did not come here to make a simple phone call. Instead, she purposely breaks the phone for sinister reasons.
"Um, sir," she said. "The phone is broke."
"Really?" replied the Basque hotel manager. He comes out of the front desk to walk over to check it out.
"I am terribly sorry madam. I wish I can do something about this, but it will take a day for the repairman to come over here."
"Oh, no need to worry. For you see, I myself have the ability to repair these things. I can fix it for you!"
"I'm not so sure..."
"Don't believe me? Here's my card."
Ginger hands the manager a white business card. On it reads "Donna Trump - International Telephone Repair Extraordinaire".
"If what the card says is true, then you have my permission to repair this phone," said the hotel manager.
"I'll get to work right away," said Ginger.
"Thank you so much!"
As the hotel manager went back to resume his desk duty, Ginger mumbled "sucker" under her breath as she went on "repairing" the telephone, which really didn't that much of a repair. Instead, she is hacking it so that she will be able to connect to the Internet with her black IBM Thinkpad laptop.
"Did you order Chloe's Internet?" Red asked her.
"Not yet Doodoobutt," said Ginger. "These things take time."
Ginger is an excellent multitasker. Right now, she is having a heated IRC chat session with a college student named Shawn Fanning, downloading songs from the internet using Napster, placing custom UPS international orders under a fake name, and ordering the list of items to get Chloe's internet under a stolen identity. Unfortunately, the copper in the telephone lines is of low quality, and the connection is a painfully slow 33.6 kilobits per second.
"This is why I hate small towns," grumbled Ginger. "Massive packet loss and piss-poor connections."
About an hour passed, Mira and Chloe arrive in the hotel lobby to join Ginger in her Internet experience.
"So how is it going?" Mira asked.
"Bad," Ginger replied. "The connection is slow as hell."
"Perhaps you can do me a favor and look up a person for me," Chloe said.
"What, did he piss you off or something?"
"No. She is a dear friend of mine, which is the reason why I want to use email."
"I see. I'll see what I can do."
In about an hour, Ginger's hacking abilities allowed her to pull up all of the data she has on Kirika Yñmura.
"Kirika Yñmura," said Ginger. "Lives in Paris with Mireille Bouquet. Looks like the Japanese girl already taken by the blonde chick--if you know what I mean. Wink-wink."
"Kirika and the Corsican are partners."
"I think Chloe meant that two of them work together as assassins," said Mira.
"They're not lovers," said Chloe.
"Oh," said Ginger. "Well, I'm not sure about that. Those two are awfully close for just being mere partners in crime since that they always sleep in the same bed and whatnot."
"Do you have her email address?"
"Of course I do, but it's gonna cost you."
"It's firstname.lastname@example.org!" cried Red after reading the data.
"God damnit Red, shut the hell up!"
Ginger picks up her laptop and repeatedly bashes onto Red's head until it breaks and shatters. The IBM ThinkPad 240 is no more.
"Now you owe me a new laptop!" Ginger cried.
"Calm down Ginger," said Mira. "Remember the second rule of Assassin-Mercenary Methodology."
"The second rule of..." Red started.
"Screw the Assassin-Mercenary Methodology!" yelled Ginger.
As Mira and Chloe tend to Red's bleeding head wound, the hotel manger approaches Ginger apologetically.
"Madam," said the manager, "have you fixed the phone?"
"Oh, yeah, sure," smiled Ginger. "Apparently there was loose wire under the dial."
"So where should I send the bill?"
"Don't worry, it's on me."
The four girls left the hotel and joined up with HLS who had just finished shagging all of the female dogs in town. They then start to head back to the Manor.
"You did order the parts necessary for me to send and receive email, did you?" Chloe asked.
"Yes I did," said Ginger.
"Ginger," said Mira. "I was surprised at your generosity."
Ginger starts to chuckle. "Generosity?" she said. "The owners were generous enough to sign the deed to the hotel to me."
"But I didn't see the owners," said Red.
"Nor did I see you sign anything," added Mira.
"Did I?" smiled Ginger.
In Ginger's mind, the owners did sign away the hotel to Ginger, at least virtually. She had just hacked into the French databases and put in false yet convincing data that the hotel is now under the legal ownership of Ginger Baker.
All of a sudden, the hotel they were just in exploded. Soon enough, military helicopters descended into the town causing the people to take flight. French U.N. soldiers appeared and swarmed the entire town armed with night-vision goggles and assault rifles. All around the girls, a gunfight is erupting between the soldiers and some of the armed townsfolk.
The girls took cover at a back alleyway.
"What the crap is going on?" cried Ginger. "My hotel! They blew up my hotel!"
"It seems that they were hiding the ETA here," said Chloe.
"Euskadi Ta Askatasuna," said Mira. "A leftist Basque paramilitary group wanted for acts of terrorism."
"Shouldn't you be involved Chloe?" asked Red.
"Not unless I have direct orders from Altena," said Chloe. "For now, we must escape back to the manor."
As the girls ran to safety, a distraught Ginger lingered behind.
"My hotel," she cried. "My hotel... Damn you Estimated Time of Arrival! I wanted to burn that place down along with the village!"
As the sun went down, the girls minus Ginger sang more European children's songs while marching back to the Manor.
Even though finding the glass slipper fragment is a high priority, Becky and the girls became lazy and settled into the Manor as if it is their new home. Soon enough, the "necessary" items arrived via Esteban. How he moved it is a mystery, and the strangest thing is that none of girls had seen Esteban yet. Altena claims that she sees him everyday, but they have their doubts on that allegation.
After a bad hangover from the wine she drank last night, Becky stumbled into the unused torture chamber where Ginger is busily setting up the roomful of rackmount servers.
"Was this stuff really necessary for the purple-haired girl to check and send email?" asked Becky.
"It's necessary for me," said Ginger. "I can't waste a day distributing stolen music so I can piss off the RIAA. Right now, Napster needs kick in the boost and fast."
"Okay then. Just make sure you tell me when the home theater is put together. I want to see the porn video we made of me, Red, and Mira."
So the next couple of days the girls spent their time in the Manor idling around. Red and Chloe became the best of playmates, Mira and Altena share stories and cooking ideas, Becky became drunk, HLS moans and whines because there is no female dog to shag, and Ginger amasses a server farm to distribute music files and starts putting together the home theater system. Unfortunately, she nearly forgot that she has to help Chloe set up her email.
Chloe is usually a patient girl, just like Altena, but she really wants to have an indirect conversation with her beloved Kirika. Everyday, she reminded Ginger of her desires.
"Not yet," Ginger would say, "I got to hook up the amps and preamp."
"Oh," said Chloe. "So this home theater system is necessary to check my email?"
"Uh, yeah. It is."
After the home theater system was set up in, everyone gathered to sit on black leather couches in the extra room with bowls of microwaved popcorn, soda, and wine (for Becky). Both Altena and Chloe, who are somewhat new to this home theater technology, sit and munch on popcorn in eager anticipation.
"So you girls have made your own, how you say, 'porno film?" Altena said.
"Oh, yeah," said Becky. "It rocks."
"So what's the story about?" Chloe asked.
"It's about Grandma, Mira, and me sucking each other!" Red said.
"Shh, it's about to start," said Becky.
After Ginger hooks up the digital camcorder, she forces herself into the middle of the couch. Using the multitude of remotes that controls the camcorder, the audio receiver, and the television separately, she switches the inputs and starts playing the video.
"I sure hope I can market this," smiled Ginger.
The first five minutes of the video are the credits, and the background shows HLS shagging two female dogs with her double strap-on.
"How is she doing that?" Chloe asked.
"HLS has two penises," Ginger lied.
"Really? I thought she was girl like Red said."
"You don't have to believe everything she says."
The video continues on. The first scene is a badly acted part of Red and Becky in the kitchen discussing how the day went, which then degenerated into a lick fest. Both Altena and Chloe winced at the silly eroticism, but they kept their composure.
"Oh," said Altena. "So this what a porn video is."
"There's something wrong about this," said Becky.
"What?" Ginger asked.
"I'm not getting hot off this. This video seems to be... lacking."
"Well gee, you think it's because of the cheesy acting? Where you talk about your day and cheese? Jeez."
"Ginger! Ginger!" Mira cried. "I'm coming up!"
On the video, Mira enters the scene dressed in a comical penguin costume. She starts licking Becky and Red, and tries to undress herself while doing so.
The video lasted only ten minutes. Pretty short for a porno video. Altena and Chloe were speechless at what they have just seen. Both of them are blushing, wet, and hot.
"Was I good Ginger?" Mira asked. "Was I good?"
"Um, I'm not sure about the penguin costume..." Ginger said.
"That... was most certainly interesting," breathed Altena. "I would not mind seeing it again."
"Well Ginger, you have your work cut out for you," said Becky.
"What?" Ginger cried. "I have to make a sequel? Do you know how much Gigabytes these things take! I busted my ass trying to make that Powerbook work its ass off."
"Red, your, um, performance was good," Chloe said.
"Sometimes, Grandma lactates while we have sex," said Red.
"That's... interesting to hear."
"Eww," Ginger said. "There is no way I'm gonna tape that. Not in a million years."
"So you don't like seeing me lactate?" Becky asked.
"Like I want to see your fat boob piss white calcium."
"Looks like the tables have turned Gingerbrat, 'cause I'm gonna do it in front of you to piss you off!"
"I like to see you try! Hell, I'll bet you 100K that you fail!"
Becky pulls up her blouse and bra and exposes her right breast. Try as she might, she cannot get her fingers and hand to squeeze out milk.
"You lose!" Ginger cried out.
"Damnit!" Becky cursed.
"Now cough up the million dollars!"
"I don't have that money right now--and you said it was 100,000."
"No I didn't. I said a million."
"It was 100,000 Gingerbrat."
"Fine then. I'll keep your Katana and Red's guns as well. Then I'll take off 100% of salary from the store."
"You already have them, remember?"
"That's not enough. Give me more!"
"I can lactate if you don't mind Miss Wolfe," said Altena.
"Really?" said Becky. "You could?"
"I am used to such things."
"In that case I'll bet you one million gold pieces that you won't be able to do it!" challenged Ginger.
"Very well. I'll accept your challenge. If I lactate, then you will owe me two million gold pieces."
Altena unbuttons and opens up her robe to expose her right breast. With unbelievable ease through her two fingers, milk starts coming out of her nipple.
"Damnit!" cursed Ginger.
"Looks like you owe them now," smiled Becky.
"No fair! She must've cheated somehow! I bet she's hooked up to a bottle between her crotch!"
"Mistress Altena, can I have a drink?" Chloe asked.
"Sure dear Chloe," said Altena.
"It will be like the old days."
"Indeed it will."
Chloe places her mouth on Altena's nipple and starts suckling peacefully. Becky and her girls dropped their jaws in utter disbelief and amazement.
"Oh my," blushed Mira.
"Ginger," said Becky.
"Way ahead of you," said Ginger.
Ginger grabs the digital camcorder and immediately starts recording Altena and Chloe's 'mother and daughter' moment.
On they day after, Chloe went to Ginger's room after her day of training. It is 4:00 PM in the afternoon, and Ginger had just gone to bed at daybreak. The purple-haired one shakes Ginger, who grumbles and slobbers on the bed.
"Ginger," said Chloe. "Ginger. You told me to wake you up today so you can help set-up your email."
"Shut-up," grumbled Ginger. "Give me money and swag."
"Altena decided to cut what you owe in half if you do it today."
Ginger slowly rises up and lets out the yawn of the ages. Dressed in her panties and t-shirt, Ginger lumbers and follows Chloe to the room. Along the way, they follow the path of blue Ethernet cable lined against the wall of the hall. The two of them passed by Mira who had just emerged from her bedroom. After seeing Ginger in her panties, Mira goes back to her bedroom to masturbate.
The blue Ethernet cable finally ends up to the IBM Thinkpad 770 sitting on the desk of Chloe's room. After entering, Ginger pulls out the chair and nearly collapses into it. She lets out another yawn and turns on the computer. After the usual boot-up process of Windows 2000, she opens up an application called Internet Explorer 5.0.
"Here's the scoop," said Ginger. "You can get a free email address at Yahoo.fr..."
Ginger's head dips forward and nearly falls asleep.
"And then?" asked Chloe.
"With this email address," bolted Ginger, "you can check your email on any computer in the world as long as you have a web-browser. Now I've put you up at the sign-up page. You just need to fill out the rest of the information."
Ginger gets off the chair so Chloe can arduously type her desired email address, her access password, and all the necessary personal information to confirm her presence.
"No, no," yawned Ginger. "You have to rest your eight fingers on the home row."
"On the home key?" asked Chloe.
"Just click next Miss Purple."
Despite being a neophyte, Purple, er, Chloe starts to get the hang of typing with more than one computer and using the eraserhead pointing device positioned between the G, H, and B keys. After a couple click-throughs, a page is displayed saying that the email address email@example.com has been successfully registered.
"I did it!" cheered Chloe. "I have my own email!"
"Let's break out the champagne for fuck's sake," said Ginger.
"So how would I send a message to my beloved?"
"Oh, just click on the compose button, type in her email address in the 'To' field, and write something down in the 'subject' and 'message' field."
"The what field?"
"Those white boxes."
"You wouldn't happen to know what her email address do you?"
Ginger walks backward and falls into Chloe's bed.
"I'm gonna sleep in your bed," said Ginger. "I'll probably take a piss in it too..."
Ginger falls asleep.
Chloe sets out for Red. She goes to Mira, who says that Becky should know. She then goes to Becky in the wine cellar, and she says Altena was the last person who saw her. Chloe goes to Altena in the kitchen, and she says Ginger should know. Chloe walks all the way back to her room and shakes Ginger. Agitated, Ginger starts whacking Chloe with the pillow, but the young purple-haired assassin stands her ground and chooses not to hit back.
"Leave me alone with my money," groaned Ginger.
"You know where Red is right?" Chloe asked.
"HLS should know. They always hang out with each other."
"But HLS is a dog."
"Away with you Purple. Away."
Ginger falls asleep again.
Chloe sighs. She sets out again calling out for HLS throughout the Manor main building until she finds her laying on the front steps.
"HLS," said Chloe. "Do you know where your friend is?"
HLS groans and turns her head away from Chloe.
"Oh, how am I going to find Red?"
Suddenly there is a huge explosion close by. With her throwing knife in her pocket, Chloe heads over to the source where she finds Red laying in a fresh charred crater.
"Owie," said Red.
"Did you get attacked?" asked Chloe.
"No I didn't. I tried to repair the bike you had with a grenade and it exploded."
"I don't have a bike. That was the stray sick donkey named Gerrie."
"That's the bike?"
Just then, bloodied entrails of poor ol' Gerrie rained from the sky and splattered all over Chloe, Red, and their surroundings. The ass has been put out of his misery, thought Chloe.
Chloe takes Red's hand and walks her over back to the room where the laptop computer is.
"You know how to use this don't you?" asked Chloe.
"Of course I do!" smiled Red. "I use it to buy stuff from the Erotic Pet Store."
"Since you know my beloved's e-mail address, could you help me send one to her?"
"I am always willing to help!"
Red sits down on the desk chair and starts clacking her fingers onto the keyboard. She mistypes and misspells mail.yahoo.fr and ends up at French pornographic website. Since she is using Microsoft Internet Explorer, the computer and its operating system are bombarded with a multitude of pop-up windows, and spyware-ridden programs are being put on the computer without her permission.
"Oh no!" said Red. "I've been hacked!'
"What do we do?" asked Chloe.
"I'll just close these windows..."
Using the touchpad to control the on-screen cursor, she clicks on the 'X' of each window only to end up with three times as many pop-up windows with each one she closes. Then the computer simply froze. Touching the touchpad, the eraserhead controller, and the keyboard did nothing to wake it up.
"It crashed! It crashed!" Red cried.
Red stands up from the chair, pulls out her pistol and fires her gun at the keyboard. Electrical sparks pop out from the bullet impact, and the laptop finally shuts down. Then it catches on fire.
Red and Chloe screamed. They go over to Ginger and starts shaking her to the waking reality.
"Ginger!" Red cried out. "The computer's on fire! The computer's on fire!"
Ginger suddenly sits up. She leaps off the bed and runs from the second level to the first level and ends up in the server room that was once the torture chamber. Red and Chloe had followed her down there.
"What the hell were you smoking?" Ginger demanded. "You almost gave me a fucking heart attack! The computers are not on fire!"
"What she meant is that my laptop is on fire," said Chloe.
Ginger yawns and starts walking back to her room.
"Aren't you going to do something?" Chloe asked.
"It's your laptop," replied Ginger. "So it's not my problem."
And so, Chloe's room burned down, and she is severely disappointed that she cannot send her an email to Kirika. She is now forced to sleep in Altena's room, which she did not mind at all. Altena and Chloe almost always sleep naked in the same bed.
On the next day, the gasoline on the generator began to run out. Ginger, being lazy as always, slept in the middle of a download of a bootlegged movie called The Matrix when the generator fell silent. Thus, the server room that had been serving all of the pirated MP3 music and the home theater that Becky, Mira, and Altena frequently used to watch lesbian pornographic movies were now deprived of power.
Red had volunteered herself to fix the generator, but ends up destroying it with her AK47 assault rifles. When Ginger woke up to discover this, she smashed her Apple Newton on Red's head and used her grenades to blow up the server (torture) room out of pure anger.
Deprived of electricity, Ginger lapsed into severe withdrawal that she did not leave her bed. Worried about her crush, Mira volunteered to spoon-feed her, bathe her, and masturbating before her near-comatose body with utter passion.
"That girl is most certainly attached to technology," Altena said to Becky one evening in their ancient dining room.
"She's a genius brat who wasted her mind on such things," said Becky.
"I sure wish she could use her knowledge on our ways. Perhaps I can get Chloe to help her."
Throughout this time, Red, Chloe, and HLS had fared better than their similarly aged friend who lay in a coma-like state. Altena then asked Chloe and Red to get Ginger out of bed by whatever means necessary. By her words, the two did as they told, and they hauled the bespectacled and beautiful tomboy off the bed. They took her outside with their picnic supplies and accidentally threw her into a thorny rose bush. Despite the thorns prickling her butt, Ginger did not move or flinch.
After pulling her out of the bush, Red and Chloe plopped her down into a grassy field surrounded by blossoming sunflowers. They laid out the plaid blanket and set out the plates, glasses, and food. Ginger simply sat up in a daze and drooled.
"Would you like some tea Ginger?" Chloe asked.
"V-v-video k-k-killed t-t-the r-r-radio s-s-star," mumbled Ginger.
"How about some biscuits?"
"I-I-internet k-k-killed t-t-the v-v-video s-s-star."
"Chloe, Ginger is really broke," said Red.
"Ginger, you can get by without technology," Chloe said. "There are lots of fun things to do out here!"
"I want my MP3," mumbled Ginger. "I want my Internet back... give it back... give it back!"
"I have an idea!" Red exclaimed.
Red heads gets up and walks over to the sunflowers begins stomping on them. As she continued to do so, Chloe joined in, and HLS got up and urinated on the crushed flowers. Slowly but surely, their act of destruction piqued Ginger's penchant for destruction. She rises from the blanket and walks in the way of Red, Chloe, and HLS. With one cautious step, Ginger steps on a sunflower. Red and Chloe smiled eager as Ginger starts to step on another sunflower. As she increased her stomping pace, the red-haired and purple-haired girls start join the stomping of flowers until they exploded with playful laughter of the innocents.
Exhausted after stomping down all the sunflowers they have seen, they collapsed themselves to the ground. Ginger has finally come back to them.
"That was fun!" cried Ginger. "What else evil and destructive acts can we do around here without the use of electricity?"
"Well..." started Chloe.
Thus began a montage or a series of things Red, Ginger, Chloe, and HLS did to wreak havoc in the land forgotten by time--located between Spain and France damnit. Things they did including pushing down trees from high places, rolling boulders into nearby villages down below, starting fires with just two sticks or flint, throwing rocks at animals (including HLS), scaring the shit out of farm animals, urinating in the streams, wells, and any place where people get their drinking water, breaking and entering, etc. They had also thrown rocks and various blunt objects at people as well as scaring the shit out of them for no apparent reason.
Ginger learned the art of pickpocketing from Red and Chloe, which she mastered in the many towns and villages they visited along the away. Ginger was somewhat disappointed because most of the people she stole from carried less than ten Euros. At least she will be able to use these skills to steal from rich people in the cities and her own friends.
In contrast, Ginger taught Red and Chloe the art of pissing people off--which failed miserably. Chloe was too well respected by the locals, and Red was too cute. Ginger always has a 90% success rate, thus Red, Chloe, and Red were there to bail her out in case the natives got violent.
On the next day of her life without electricity, Ginger lures Red and HLS into a job to steal Chloe's precious fork. Red was selected for the prank because she is good at ninjitsu and stealth, as with Chloe. One late night, she sneaks in Altena and Chloe's room dressed in her sneak suit and carefully replaces the two-prong fork Chloe has clutched to her hand with a Chinese back-scratcher autographed with Michelle Yeoh's signature. Red gives the fork to Ginger immediately afterward.
Chloe awakes one morning ready to think about Yumñra Kirika when she sees her beloved her fork. When she saw the back-scratcher, she thought of Michelle Yeoh and Kung-Fu action movies some weird reason. Realizing what had happened, Chloe dropped her jaw a gasped.
"What is it my dear Chloe?" Altena asked when she awoken up.
"My fork..." gasped Chloe.
She leaps out of the bed nude and puts on her long white shirt, her khaki pants, and sandals and runs around the Manor main building searching for her fork.
Chloe finds Becky sleeping in the wine storeroom drunk as ever. She does not bother asking her where the fork is.
She meets up with Mira in the kitchen who is making cornbread while playing with herself in her shaved crotch.
"Have you seen my fork?" Chloe asked.
"Look where you are," said Mira. "We have lots of forks here."
"I know that, but there is a special fork that is very dear to me."
"Could you describe for me?"
"It's silver, small, and has two prongs."
"You're in luck! It has come across me when I was washing dishes."
"Oh thank you Miss Rama!"
From the drying rack Mira gives Chloe the two-pronged fork. Chloe was overjoyed until she held it in her hands. Something didn't feel right. When she looked closely at it, the fork was the same size, except the tail end has an embedded picture of Tinky Winky of the Teletubbies children's show.
"That's not my fork," said Chloe.
"It isn't?" said Mira. "Oh dear. This must be Red's then."
Chloe slumps her head face forwards in sheer disappointment and hands the fork back to Mira.
She then searched high and low in every possible place for her fork for many great hours. When she stepped outside of the main entrance, Chloe yelled out loud:
"WHERE MY FORK IS AT?"
"Chloe!" Red cried out.
Chloe looks over and sees Red, Ginger, and HLS returning from whatever journey they had been to during the morning.
"Hey guys," said Chloe. "Where have you been?"
"We've been out," replied Ginger.
"We've been playing with your fork!" Red cried out.
Suddenly, Ginger stabs Red's head with the two-pronged fork in question. Red bled, but she wasn't seriously hurt.
"You have my fork?" Chloe asked.
"This is your fork?" said Ginger. "Crap, we didn't know. We thought it was some ordinary fork and we took it along in our walk."
Chloe leaps forward towards Ginger, snatches the fork from her hand, and begins kissing it passionately and repeatedly.
"Chloe loves her fork," said Red.
"Hey, Purple," Ginger started, "you know we--ah, never mind."
Ginger followed Red and HLS into the Manor building chuckling with glee, and Chloe continued to kiss her fork. Little does she know that Ginger and Red succumbed the fork in the grosses abuses they could think of, such as using it as digging shovel, shoving it into an ant hill and bee's nest, the entrails of a dead rat, the anus of a pig, a prostitute's vagina, and HLS's feces.
Chloe forgave Red and Ginger for "accidentally" taking her fork on that day. Afterwards they had lunch, supper, and dinner--all served along with cornbread that they ate with glee. Altena commented how good it tasted, and Mira replied that it was cooked with utter love.
The Manor household and their friends had decided to go out on a (non-destructive) picnic out in the countryside where the daffodils still stood. After they had their meal, Red, Ginger, and Chloe went off to play a game consisting of beating each other with sticks. Of course, Ginger got beat up more due to her lack of fighting ability.
Thus, Altena, Becky, and Mira sat on the plaid blanket sipping their tea with peaceful smiles on their faces as they watch their lovers play childish yet somewhat painful games with each other.
"It is such a fine day today," said Altena.
"I could not agree more," said Mira.
"I spiked the tea with 100 proof whiskey," said Becky.
"That is nice to hear," said Altena.
"Don't our girls look lovely?" asked Mira.
"Oh yes they do."
"I sure wish I can confess my feelings to the one I love."
"I've been meanin' to ask," started Becky. "What do you and Chloe do when it is just the two of you alone in the Manor?"
"Oh, we make wine, sew, clean up the Manor, and sometimes play with some old toys I have hidden somewhere," replied Altena.
"Toys huh? What kind would they be?"
"Oh you know, the kinds girls play with when they get lonely."
"Something like that."
However a couple days ago before Chloe lost the Internet, Red and Ginger had already stumbled into Altena's secret "toy" cache in a hidden chamber where they hold the "Grand Retour" ceremony and indoctrination. There they hit the jackpot--what they found is a cornucopia of medieval dildos and vibrators powered by steam or windmill. So then Red and Ginger stole off all the dildos and vibrators and stuck them in the rear orifices of all the animals of a nearby farm. Luckily, Altena hardly checks her toy cache (though there is a rumor she uses fingers, tongue, and clitoris instead to please herself and some other person that is too obvious to mention). And even if they were missing, Altena would be too kind and not punish the perpetrators. Ginger was taking advantage of her kindness as she robs her blind and wrecks their manor.
"It's nice having guests around," continued Altena, "but shouldn't you guys be somewhere?"
"Why should we?" said Becky. "We're in a nice Mediterranean environment, Ginger's having fun without electricity, and I've got all the booze I can drink."
"That's wine," said Mira.
"What about the glass slipper fragment you were looking for?" asked Altena.
"Glass slipper fragment... hmm..."
Becky reached out into the further recesses of her intoxicated mind on the exact reason why she started this whole journey in the first place. First it was because she had the hottest lesbian (tribade) sex with a seventeen year-old and ended up breaking a glass slipper she had in her possession. That glass slipper turns out to be a key to Red's past, and that there is another pair which is in pieces and is scattered all over the world. The real reason Becky is doing this is because she made a stupid promise that she will find and reassemble the glass slipper in exchange that Red would stop calling her 'grandma'. Being called grandma in the middle of hot lesbian (tribade) sex is pretty un-erotic, and can sometimes spoil the mood. Yet even if Becky were to find the glass slipper fragments, it is no guarantee that Red will live up to her promise due to her unusual way of thinking.
"Holy shit, I almost completely forgot!" Becky yelled out.
"Is something wrong?" Mira asked.
"You bet your behind there is!"
Becky marches over to the glade where Red, Ginger, and Chloe played at.
"What the fuck are you guys doing?" Becky demanded. "Get moving! We got a mission to go to!"
"Damn," cursed Ginger. "She finally remembered."
"Okay, Fat-Ass!" saluted Red.
"What did you call me?" yelled Becky.
Becky suddenly grabs Ginger, pulls her pants and panties down, and begins spanking her like she used to.
"Ow, fuck! My butt!" Ginger cried. "God damnit Sis! I didn't say those two words! Red did!"
"Oh, sorry about that," breathed Becky. "It's reflex really."
"Argh, you're such a dumb fat-ass."
Thus, Becky spanks Ginger once more.
"Damnit," Ginger cursed. "One of these days Sis, I'm gonna piss you off royally!"
"Shut-up," said Becky. "It's mission time."
They quickly head back to the Manor main building and quickly suited up to their normal yet maneuverable clothes and armed themselves; although since Ginger broke all her laptop computers and PDA, she equipped herself with the Encyclopedia of Offensive Cultural Gestures--and a matchbook.
"How far is it to the town of El Camino?" Becky asked Altena.
"Just go in the direction of El Serrat," replied Altena. "I'll send Chloe to assist you."
"That's okay. I think we can handle it."
"I will not fail you mistress Altena," said the green-cloaked purple haired one.
"Everyone, be careful."
"We will," said Becky.
The five girls plus the dog set off to the road.
I hope they succeed, Altena thought. For the sake of the world, Darryl Güse must not gather all the glass slipper fragments and revive the lost nation of Tribadia.
Their destination is a small town northwest of El Serrat in the country of Andorra, and it took a great effort to get there. First they had to walk many kilometers uphill to the mountain nation, which Chloe knows is a pain in the ass. Fortunately, they manage to hitch hike themselves aboard a horse-driven cart full of manure, where everyone but Chloe unanimously dubbed the Shitcart. Luckily, the old driver did not speak much of English as Ginger yelled American insults at him (he can only speak Catalan and Spanish). Unfortunately, most of the girls threw up over the cart in the initial minutes of the ride, but after a while they got used to it.
They thanked the kindly old driver for the ride right when they were dropped off at the El Camino main street. Ginger stole all of his pocket money before he left, and she cursed silently at the pitiful change she acquired. So she set a delay firecracker one of the spokes of the cart's wheel hoping that it will explode when the old driver is going down an i