6.
I walked home with my head in a numb daze. It mirrored the feeling of my body. Miyu and I had made out for rest of the day. We crossed a number of thresholds I thought I'd never do, but we didn't cross the big one. The sex one. I don't think either of us could handle that just yet. When I left we both knew that we were a couple. There wasn't a big proclamation or anything, we just knew it.
When I entered my house, I forgot to announce I was home and started for the stairs. But Kenta was coming down just as I was about to take my first step. I gave him a slight wave, then was suddenly snapped out of my daze by the look on his face.
"What?"
"For a second I didn't know it was you." Kenta told me. "It looked like a stranger just walked in the house. It wasn't until you waved at me that I realized it was you, sis."
I blinked, unsure what he was talking about. Did he somehow figure out I was with a girl just then? "Don't be an idiot."
"Well, can you blame me, you've never dressed like that before." Kenta still was staring at me.
"Huh?"
I looked down and my brain rebooted. I had forgotten that I was still in Miyu's dress and that she styled my hair. The image of what I looked like in her mirror popped in my hair and I remembered that I did look a lot different.
"I went over a friends house and she wanted to play dress up." I murmured lamely.
Kenta looked away and scratched his nose. "For what it's worth, looking like a girl suits you."
"Oh shut up." I walked passed him, feeling embarrassed.
When I had retreated in my room, my heart was beating. I know it must of been hard for my brother to compliment me, little rat, but I couldn't take him acting different around me. I walked over to my own mirror and looked at myself. Other than my hair looking a bit more tousled than before, I still looked like the image that appeared in Miyu's mirror.
I looked at some of the clothes I bought the other day, thinking they weren't as cute as Miyu's, but were still girly. I took off the dress and put on the most tomboy outfit I bought, wondering if I'd go back to looking like the cross-dresser. But I didn't. Somehow there was a girl there. Did a little color of make up and styling hair make that much of a difference?
Sighing I decided I'd wear this outfit the next day, and return Miyu's dress to her after I washed it. It wasn't until I had placed it into the washing machine did I remember that everyone at school thought of me as a boy. Some fear took over me, knowing that all those girls saw me kiss Miyu, then if I showed up like this they'd know the truth. But a part of me wanted them to know.
"You're really freaking me out, Sis." Kenta told me again when I came into the kitchen. "When did you get that outfit now?"
"Leave me alone, okay?" I glared at him. "Shouldn't you be happy I'm not wearing your clothes anymore?"
Kenta shrugged, but still stared at me. I guess I can't blame him. I'll have to deal with the same looks tomorrow.
The next day I went to the university as planned, with Miyu's outfit in a bag. I styled my hair the same way Miyu did the day before and added just a hint of color to my face. I even put in some stupid earrings. The effect was the same as yesterday. And like I had predicted, I kept getting a lot of stares from people in my classes.
"Haneda?"
A girl had called me after a lecture. I recognized her as one of the girls who confessed to me before, and part of the group that surrounded Miya yesterday. Like everyone else her eyes were glued to my appearance. I pretended to take a carefree air about me, though in reality I was feeling so nervous.
"What are you wearing?"
"Clothes?" I tried to sound casual.
"I can see that… but you're wearing girl's clothes."
"I am a girl. I told you before…" I looked at her annoyed.
"I know but…"
"You're making me feel weird." I told her and turned to leave.
"I saw you kissing that Hoshino girl though."
"So what." I told her without stopping. I didn't want her to see my face turning pink. "If you want to ask her out, don't bother, we're already seeing each other."
I could feel her watching me as I left, but I made a point to try and ignore the feeling. I wanted everyone who was going to gossip about me to think they had it wrong the whole time, that I wasn't lying to them. Which was the truth, but I had to look confident. At least that's what I wanted to pull off anyway.
"Akira-chan!"
Relief filled my body when I heard that voice. Miyu had appeared, also carrying a bag probably holding the clothes I left at her house the day before. When I looked at her, she looked a cute as always does.
"Wow, you really came like that, didn't you?"
"Yeah." I smiled nervously. "It's been pretty troublesome."
"Come here."
She grabbed my hand and we went to a bench outside, both conscious of the looks we were getting for my classmates. After exchanging bags, we sat in silence, both pink in the face. Once again we were feeling awkward.
"I guess we really are going through with this." Miyu spoke in a small voice.
"D-Do you not want too?" I blurted out.
"No! I didn't mean it like that. I just… you know."
I did know. It was weird having everyone looking at us. Even now that we separated from the group, we could feel their eyes looking out windows at us. This sort of thing was weird for us.
"I think you look cute." Miyu said quickly, breaking my thoughts of paranoia.
"Do you?" I looked down at the outfit I was wearing, the tomboy one. "It's not as good as your clothes."
"But this suits you, I think." Miyu continued. "And I like what you did with your hair."
I was burning red now. "You don't have to compliment me, you know."
"I know I don't." Her eyes were locked on me. "I thought some positive feedback might make you feel better."
"To be honest, I feel really uncomfortable like this. I've been hiding so long in baggy clothes." I told her, then added. "But I like that you think I look cute."
"I keep looking at your neck thinking it looks kissable." Miyu said, then almost as if she realized she said that out loud she clasped her hands over her mouth. "Sorry!" A muffled squeak came from her hands.
"Kissable neck?" I asked.
"I know, it's embarrassing." Miyu was still was hiding her mouth.
Oddly I didn't find it embarrassing. I found my bare legs in public more distressing. "Well maybe you can kiss it later. Do you think you can settle for a normal one right now?"
Miyu lowered her hands looked slightly miffed. "Don't make fun of me!"
I laughed a bit, but lean towards her and gave her a small peck on her cheek. It remained it's pink color. "Sorry, I had too."
Miyu sighed, sightly, then took my hand. "Teasing aside, I wish we had a class together."
"Me too. I never can find you." I unwittingly admitted, accidentally giving away I had been searching for her before. "Uh-"
"I know your schedule, but that's because I was stalking you from before."
"Stalking?"
"Not really stalking but… anyway." Miyu was looking frustrated at being the one embarrassed all the time. "I can write down my schedule for you, if you want."
I nodded, and she let go of my hand, reached into her backpack and produced a notebook and a pen to do just that. I watched her, studying her face as she wrote. Then I realized I was doing this, and turned away, not wanting to make her feel weird. As I did so, I caught a glimpse of the gossip girls adverting their eyes.
"That's really annoying me." I murmured. "You'd think they never saw a couple before."
Miyu giggled. "A couple. It's so odd to hear that. That I'm your girlfriend."
"Yeah." I realized it was the same for me. "But they still shouldn't stare."
"Let them." Miyu said bitterly, then ripped the paper she was writing on from her notebook and handed it to me. "I wrote down other stuff about me, like my apartment number, phone number, that sort of thing."
"Oh. Thanks." I folded the paper and put it in my pocket. "I'll text whatever you want to know about me to you later on, if that's okay."
"I have to get to a class in a few minutes, but… I was wondering if you wanted to go out and do something after school?" Miyu asked, not that embarrassed anymore. It seemed the longer they were together the reality of the situation sunk in. It was just those times a part and reuniting that was the most awkward.
"Yeah, I'd like that. I have one more class too." I informed her.
"Let's meet by the front gate, where I first asked you out, okay?"
I agreed and we both went to our classes. Unfortunate for me, my next class had a good amount of those gossip girls in it. I had a hard time focusing with them looking at me the whole time. Normally I would have talked to them, but I found their curiosity and looks really aggravating. If I talked to them today, I'd have to give them the whole story about Miyu and myself, and I wasn't ready to blab about that.
After class, I packed up and went to the arranged area where I was to meet Miyu. Sadly the girl who talked to me before about my outfit followed me. It seemed she was the gossip scout. I really wasn't in the mood for this, and had thought about leaving and just texting Miyu to meet me somewhere else. But I'd still have to find the paper she wrote on in order to do it, so the girl would just corner me anyway.
"Hello Haneda-san." She went.
I sighed and turned to her. She looked nervous. Really nervous. Now what?
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