5.
"Did you see them, they were just making out."
"Yeah, they didn't care if it was in public."
"I wish I had a boy friend like that."
"Ew, gross."
Miyu and I shot passed the gossiping girls, pretending not to hear them. To be honest I can't believe we just did that right there in the open as well. As we left school grounds I realized that we had no plan, well not a great one. We just left, but there was no destination. And what exactly did Miyu mean by alone. Did she just want to be somewhere private or did she mean something more? I'm not sure if I could handle something like that right now.
"S-So, where did you want to go?" I asked her. I was starting to second guess myself, scared of the path I was going on.
Miyu was looking down at her feet again. I think she was hoping I'd take the lead in this. But to be honest I was scared out of my mind. She needed to be the boy now.
"We can go to my place."
Her place?! I was glad she was looking away because I must of looked like a frightened puppy. She led the way, explaining in a nervous ramble that she lived alone in an apartment building not to far from the university. Other students lived in the other buildings, as it was so close, but she didn't know any of them. I pretended to be interested, anything to keep my mind off of whatever dirty thoughts that were lingering in the back of my head.
We arrived at her apartment. It was a small one room place one. I really felt like I was stepping in a manga now.
"I'm sorry Akira-chan, it's not much."
"This is great. My parents live nearby so I still live at home."
"Oh?" Miyu was taking off her shoes and shutting the door.
Somehow the sound of it shutting echoed in my mind. I looked around the room and saw her sleeping futon still out, next to a heated table. Images of Miyu and myself on that futon popped in my head and I felt my heart skip a beat. I hoped she didn't want to go that far.
"I forgot that I left it like this. It's a mess." Miyu sounded embarrassed, her eyes on the futon.
"Don't worry about it, it's not we planned this." I rubbed the back of my neck.
Miyu sat down underneath the heated table, so I followed her example and sat down next to her. Silence. I could hear both of hearts beating.
"This seemed like such a good idea in my head." Miyu finally said. "But now I'm completely terrified."
"You too?" I blurted out.
She looked at me and all at once we both started laughing. We worked ourselves up to this state on our own. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.
"I got an idea. I want to see what you look like as a girl." Miyu once again spoke an idea that came out of nowhere.
"Huh?"
"We're both around the same size, maybe something of mine will fit you?"
"Oh. Uh, well if you want." I felt slightly bashful about the prospect. Wearing my bother's clothes had become sort of a shield.
Miyu got up and rummaged through her things then produced an outfit. Like most things about Miyu, it was really cute and stylish. It would be a waste on me. But she looked so excited that I couldn't say no.
I started to take off my shirt, then felt slightly weird suddenly. Miyu would see me in my underwear. Why did that bother me so much? I didn't have anything special on, it would probably ruin whatever image of me she had in her head. But I pushed those thoughts out of my head and changed as quickly as possible. I could feel her eyes on me the whole time, or at least that's what my imagination was telling me. When I turned to look at her, she was carefully looking my brother's pants on the floor.
"Well?" I gave a shrug feeling so awkward in the dress.
Miyu stared at me. I could feel my face grow hot with her gaze. "You're so cute!"
"I am not." I said defensively. I knew I wasn't cute as a girl.
"Yes you are. All you need is… hold on."
She got up and started messing with my hair. Not since my mother had anyone styled my hair like that. It was a bit nostalgic. I guess girls do this all the time, if I had girl friends in high school I might have not thought this was a big deal. She added a bit of color to my lips, then dragged me to a full body mirror that was attached to a closet door. I looked into it and saw some tomboyish looking girl standing next to Miyu. She was right. When did I become cute?
"See I told you." Miyu giggled, then leaded her head against mine as we looked into the mirror.
"This is the first time I've dressed like a girl since… I can't remember."
"You wore a school uniform, right?"
"Yeah, but that doesn't count. I wore tights underneath my skirt." I told her.
"You're cute." Miyu repeated. "It's also a bit- I shouldn't say it. Sorry, forget I said anything."
Of course with a lead in like that, I couldn't let that go. "What?"
"I asked you to forget it." Miyu blushed and turned away from the mirror.
I followed her. "C'mon, it can't be any more embarrassing than undressing for you."
I didn't mean it to sound like that, but as usual I blurt things out. Miyu looked even more embarrassed when I said that, and I knew that she was watching me, even if I didn't catch her. Oddly, I didn't feel as embarrassed as I did when I changed.
"Well then… if you put it that way…. I was just thinking that… that…" Miyu was stumbling over her own words. Somehow I thought it was cute, and caught myself thinking that. Had I really completely given into this kind of world? "…I was thinking that it's actually a bit s-s-s-exy that you're wearing my clothes."
I looked at her in disbelieve. She hid her face.
"Don't laugh at me!"
"I'm not laughing."
"It's weird of me to say, I know, I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry, I prompted it out of you, its my own fault."
She thought I was sexy. Me. As a girl. I couldn't stop myself, I had to know. "Do you like me better like this in boy clothes?"
Miyu, still looked pink in the face. Maybe I shouldn't have asked her right after she admitted something so mortifyingly personal. But I wanted to know.
"I think you're cute both ways." Miyu admitted, though I thought that was a crap answer.
"Could you kiss me like this?" Woah, what am I saying?
Miyu walked back to me, with a serious look on her face. "Do you want me too?"
We were facing each other, our chest almost touching we were so close. Her body heat surged from her person like a heater. I could see nothing but those eyes. Those eyes I could drown in every time they studied at me.
"Do you?" She whispered. She was breathing heavy. So was I. She wanted to hear me tell her I wanted her too. Those piercing eyes scrutinizing my every thought.
"Yes." My voice cracked, sounding slightly expecting.
And she did. She led be backwards, and my back pressed against the wall next to the mirror, her body meshed with mine as she pressed her lips into mine. Her eyes momentarily peered into me, before they shut to enjoy the moment. I found mine did as well. Her mouth opened slightly during the kiss, inviting me in. My brain turned off and I followed instincts. Looking back now, I can't believe I was the first one to place my tongue into her mouth. But it was as if she were waiting for it, and greeted it with a passionate affection.
So this was what it was like to french kiss. I had wondered. Miyu's arms wrapped around my neck and her fingers went through my hair as she kissed me. My own arms were around her waist, my left a bit lower than my right, almost touching her behind.
Miyu pulled a way, and I found that I missed her. Though oxygen was welcomed. We looked into each others eyes, realizing that this wasn't just a fling anymore. I wanted her and she wanted me.
"You can touch me, you know." She said. I wasn't sure what she meant, and it showed on my face. "Your hands… you can… you know."
I realized that she wanted me to let go of the remaining restraint I was feeling. She wanted me to ravage her. I didn't know if I could do that.
Miyu giggled. "You're so shy. I'm the shy one remember?"
"Sorry." Though I do think it was a bit unfair. I was the one who started the french kiss.
Miyu turned around and pressed her back to my front, grabbing my arms and pulled them around her midriff. She leaned her head back and lean it against the side of cheek. "I sometimes fantasized about behind held like this. Being touched…" She told me, as if she was encouraging a child that it was okay to swim in shallow water. "…is that weird?"
"I don't think so."
Miyu giggled. That laugh of hers was as addicting as her eyes. "Your heart is beating so fast, Akira-chan. So is mine." She pulled my hand up and placed it over her heart, just over her breast, then giggled again. "Your heart again…"
"I can't help it." I couldn't. Miyu's body seemed to tingle under my sensitive finger tips.
She leaned her head to the side exposing her neck. My body quivered. She wanted me to kiss her there. She wanted me to grope her from behind. This was really happening. Without a further thought I pressed my lips to her neck, the scent of her body and her hair filled my nose.
"Akira-chan." Miyu whispered.
I tried to stop myself, to ask her what she wanted, but she was pulling my other hand up and cupping them on her chest. I didn't care anymore. I was in a trance. Her neck seemed so desirable in my lips, and her breast as much so in my hand. Miyu's breathing increased and she started making cute noises. I was making her make them. My head felt so dizzy. Where had my reason gone?
I don't know how long I was there kissing her neck, feeling her body, but I didn't want it to end. But Miyu pushed forward after a while, turned and faced me, her face as pink as could be.
"Akane-chan… L-Let's go to the futon?"
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