4.
Kenta knew something was up the moment I got home. Of course he wanted to know the details of what happened, but I couldn't tell him. I didn't want him to tease me about it.
I couldn't get that kiss out of my mind the whole school break. Even though I went shopping for some proper girl clothes, I kept thinking about her. I don't understand why Miyu did that. I was to stupid to ask for her mobile number when we were out, so I was left in the dark. It didn't make sense. Miyu was straight, right?
Then I had some doubts in my own mind. Was I straight? I mean all I could think about was that date after all. When thoughts of returning to school creeped their way in, I realized that I was far to nervous to put on the clothes I had bought. At least until I got my mind straight I needed to hide in my brothers clothes again. I'm pathetic.
When I returned to university later, I felt on nerve. I didn't see Miyu anywhere, but then again, I never had seen her before so I wasn't sure where to look. I went into the ladies room to retreat even more with my confusion when I over heard a conversation.
"…but I know I saw Haneda in the park last Saturday. And he was with a girl."
"A girl, who was it?"
"Not sure, I didn't recognize her. But she probably goes to this school. If I saw her, I'd know her. She was really pretty."
"Haneda's been turning down everyone. I even heard he likes to give a lame excuse about being not being a man, like he's weak as a girl or something."
That's because I am a girl!
"Well he said yes to her. I saw her hand go up his shirt. Then they watched the sunset together."
"This sucks."
When they left I could feel my heart racing. So those kinds of things were being said about me. I left the bathroom feeling uncomfortable. I should have just worn the damn dress I bought. As I was rounding the corner I stopped when I saw those gossiping girls. It seemed they were more successful in finding Miyu than I was. I kept hidden again.
"Spill it Hoshino, how did you get Haneda to go out with you!"
"I just asked." Miyu told them meekly.
"I did too but he said no." Another girl had complained but was ignored.
"Well… aren't you going to tell us anything about him?"
"Akira-chan is… is like no man I've ever dated."
I literally slapped the front of my face. What kind of answer was that? Sure that was technically the truth, but saying it like that sounded so dirty.
"Akira-chan? You already call him that?"
"It seems more appropriate. I thought I might use Aki-chan next time, but I'm not sure if that will go over well."
"That sounds too girly."
I am a girl!
They pried and pried with Miyu, but she only gave them vague answers. After a while, the girls must of sensed this as they gave up. When they had left Miyu surprised me again. She seems to do that a lot.
"They're gone now, Ak-i-ra-chan."
What's with the sing-songy voice? I got out of my hiding spot, and could see Miyu properly now. She was as pretty as usual. I took a seat next to her, my mind a blaze with questions, but I was all to aware that now people were looking at us.
"What are we going to do about all this, I wonder?" Miyu asked me as if I had the answers.
"I don't know. Everyone thinks I'm a boy, huh?"
"Yeah." Miyu nodded as if that was the least of the problems. It wasn't for me. "Everyone has been asking me about you. I don't know what to say."
"Why didn't you tell them the truth?"
Miyu thought about it. "I don't think it would be nice of me to backstab you like that. You should be able to tell everyone about it on your own. If I say something it makes you look bad."
"But if I say something, I still look bad and I dragged you along."
"No one cares about me anyway, so I don't care." Miyu shrugged. "Besides I already told you that I don't care about girl-girl relationships."
I thought of her kiss when she said that. "I-Is that why y-you…"
Miyu giggled. "You're so shy, it's like the roles are reversed."
I rubbed the back of my neck. She was right, she was so nervous when she thought I was a boy. But now that she knew I was a girl, she changed completely. She was even more bold back then. Me on the other hand… I've been a nervous wreck this whole time.
"I kissed you because that's how I planned the date to end originally." Miyu answered my previous question, as if she was reading my thoughts. "I didn't think I'd see you again, I had planned to kiss and run. I didn't want to back down from that either. Another selfish thing I did, sorry about that."
"Oh."
"You seemed to like it though." Miyu poked the side of my cheek with her finger. "You turned all red like you are now."
I turned away. "It was my first kiss."
"Mine too. We're such losers." Miyu sighed.
I thought about it for a while. "The only thing for it is for me to come clean tomorrow. I should wear something girly and put on make-up and junk. You can just say you didn't know if they ask you."
"Hmm." Miyu thought about it. "Is that the only way? It really makes you look bad."
"I'll deal with it."
"Why not just continuing like things are?" Miyu asked, but this time there was a bit of nerves to it. "You don't have to say you're a boy, just let people think what they want."
"Now that everyone is talking about me, it's a problem. Am I to go through university lying to everyone? Even if it's a lie, I'll be alone."
"You're not alone." Miyu chimed in. "No matter what, I'll be here."
I don't know why, but at that moment that was the best thing anyone had ever said to me. Even after everything, she still wanted to be with me. It must of shown on my face as Miyu blushed.
"I didn't mean to sound so forward."
"It's okay I knew what you meant."
"Do you?" Miyu blinked a bit, and looked down at her shoes. Now she was reverting back to the shy girl on the date. I'm so confused. "I really had a good time on Saturday. I wish that we could go out for real."
"You're just saying that."
"No I'm not. I was shocked when I found out, but… I still like you."
Her face was burning red. She was giving me another confession, but this time she knew the truth. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest. She had said before that she went to an all-girl school and wasn't that phased by lesbian relationships, but I never thought she'd take part in one if she asked me out thinking I was a man.
"Thinking back, maybe I asked you out because you looked safe to me, like I always knew you were a girl deep down." Miyu's voice got softer. "Do you probably think I'm weird now?"
I wasn't sure what to think, and I told her so. This was all new ground for me. I hadn't ever been with a boy before, let alone a girl. I was out of my depth here.
"Let's go out again." Miyu looked up at me, her eyes looking into mine. "I want to."
"But what about… about everything."
"I don't care what people think. And you shouldn't either. It's not like you're lying to them." She looked away. "And… I can't stop thinking about you. What about you? Did you think it was gross to go out with me?"
"No." I admitted. "I just feel so confused, if you want to know the truth."
Miyu giggled slightly. "Me too. It's a bit scary huh?"
"Yeah. I kept thinking about your kiss and-" What the hell was I saying, admitting something like that? I really did sound like some yuri manga.
"D-Did you like it?"
"Y-Yes."
"Me too. I thought about your face all week, after I left. It was so cute." Miyu smiled. "If you had lied to me just now I would have known."
"You sound like your bragging."
"Do I? I didn't mean too sound like I'm that confident in my kissing skill. But still, I knew you liked it."
Maybe I was going crazy, but hearing Miyu say those things to me made me feel bolder. I don't know what compelled me to do it, but I leaned over and kissed her. It wasn't the best kiss in the world. It was ill planned and at an awkward angle. But there was definitely some electricity there. It felt more than a kiss.
Miyu pulled away and giggled again. "That surprised me."
"Payback for the other day."
"Warn me next time."
Next time. Would there be a next time? Did I want a next time. She was gazing at me, once again her ever searching eyes breaking into mine, as if she was devouring my thoughts and feelings. I found that I was getting addicted to her looking inside me like that.
Then she moved forward and we kissed again. She didn't warn me, but I already knew she was going to do it, and I didn't stop her. I had given up. Maybe I'm not as straight as I thought I was. I couldn't ever recall thinking about a girl like I had with Miyu before, but then at this moment, I can't recall thinking about a boy like that either. Her kiss was intoxicating. When we pulled away I found that my arms somehow wrapped around her. I didn't know when that happened.
"D-Do you want to…" Miyu stopped, collecting her thoughts as her cheeks burned a pink color. "Let's skip the rest of the day. I want to be alone with you."
Alone? Alone with a girl? But just like her asking me out on a date and me wanting to say no yet I said the opposite, I did the same here. I couldn't refuse her.
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