Story: just kiss me already (chapter 1)

Authors: ALLjapan

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Chapter 1

Tap. Tap. Tap. I am nervous. I tap my hand against tight jeans as I sit on my friends couch in anticipation to some big news she had for me. She had called me late last night in tears –or so it would seem by the tearing of her voice and sobbing words that dripped through the phone leaking into my ear. My mind soaked up the words, the chaffed sound of my friends’ voice. She told me to let myself in and that she’d meet me at 9 o’clock. It was now 10:30. I get up for the umpteenth time and pace about the small living room. I stop at the mantel piece and pick up an only photo. It was one of me and her. From the time when I had invited her on a trip, down to the green hills in Tasmania. My older brother had pulled out in the last second and it was meant to be a family trip. Some convincing and my mother decided to let her come. I smile, in memory to that cold foggy day. My friend Yvette is wearing my old brown jacket and I remember that the fluke photo was taken when I jumped in hugging her in the last second. Placing the photograph back into place, I let out a sigh and sit back down on the couch only to stand again as my heart skips a beat at the sound out a door opening.

“Yvette!” I cry out in shock when I see her bruised and beaten face.

She turns from me for a moment as she locks the front door behind her.

“...Yvette? W-What happened to you...where were you?” By the time she’s turned to me I have already walked over to her. I put my arm around her and guide us toward the small sofa.

“I was in a fight.”

“Who with?!”

She shrugs. “There were a bunch of blokes ganging up on some guy.”

“W-What’s that to do with you?”

“I dunno. I just jumped to his defence.”

“Oh, Yvette.”

Yvette looks at me with a weak smile. “Not that my injuries are why I asked you to come tonight.” She lets out a small laugh and looks away for a moment.

“T-then why? I mean,” I brush some hair hanging in my face and look at Yvette. “What else has happened?”

“Well nothing’s really happened...” She starts uncertainly. Then she turns and faces me sitting in a comfier position. “Just that...” I swallow in anticipation looking seriously at my friend. She’s always been shy, hesitant...but not with me. Not like this...

“What?” I adjust my weight on the couch and lean forward taking her hands into mine. “You can tell me Yvette. Anything.”

Yvette takes in a breath before blurting out. “I love you.”

Seconds pass, my mind is a blank. I can’t answer. What did she mean? I stare at my friend. She’s looking at our hands. After a moment I ask. “What?” my voice thick and heavy.

Yvette looks up and I come to realise that we were closer than what I had first anticipated. And before I knew what was happening, Yvette’s lips closed the distance between us. And she kisses me. I sat still, I could feel her lips cool and wet on my dry ones. Feel the cut on her lower lip. Could even taste the slight tang of her blood, sweet on the tip of my tongue. I find my eyes droop shut for a moment and I lean so slightly closer. I can feel her hands in mine as she holds on as though they are her only life support. She flicks her tongue at my lips as she pulls out of the kiss. I exhale a breath that I unknowingly held and swallow. My mouth dripping, but my throat is dry.

“Y-Yvette...” My eyes open wide as realisation hits I cover my mouth in shock and pull back. What did I....WE just do?! “YVETTE!”

Yvette’s lower lip trembles and she quickly looks down. “You can’t say you didn’t like it...”

“T-That-That is beside the point!” I uncover my mouth and swallow again looking at my friend. “You just kissed me!!”

There is a pause between us for a moment before I decide to speak again. “Why?”

“I love you Azaria.”

I shake my head unbelievingly. “What do you mean you love me? We’re friends Yvette. I’ve never thought of you in any other way. I mean...Why now?”

Yvette looks up with tear filled eyes and gets up walking briskly to the door. I rise in shock and watch her open the door. “Get out.”

“What?!”

“Get out!” She repeated harshly. “If you hated it that much then just get the hell out. Stay out for all I care!” And with this she leaves the lounge room completely and I hear the slam of her bedroom door.

I leave my friends house in bafflement, closing the door abruptly behind me. I stay at the door for a second, brushing my fingers across my lips before I leave. And don’t look back.

***

“Hey, Azaria. Ready to help me study?”

“Not now Sam.”

“Aw, why? Is everything okay?”

I see Azaria pause and wait, biting her lower lip (a tell-tale sign that there is something on her mind). “Yvette just kissed me.” The sandy girl states sitting down at the end of my bed.

“What. Like on the cheek?”

“No Sam.” She looks at me as if I'm an idiot. “The lips.”

“Oh,”

“AND with a confession of ‘love’”

“Oh,” I say again sitting beside her.

“Is that all you have to say? ‘oh’?” Azaria looks at me with a flushed face, some hidden by her long hair.

I brush the stray strands behind her ear. “So?”

“So?” She repeats. “What do I do? I mean...I didn’t even know she was gay!”

“I did.”

She looks at me shocked, her mouth agape. “What? You knew? For how long?”

“Well it was why we broke up. You know me and Yvette have always been close.”

Azaria ponders for a moment. “I always wondered what happened between you two...”

“Well now you know. She left me because she couldn’t keep YOU off her mind.” I smile warmly at her when she stares at me again.

“So...you broke it off with her because she told you she loved me?”

“Yeah, basically.”

There is a pause before she asks. “Did you love her?”

There is another pause before I answer. “Yes. I did. So much; that I wished that you’d loved her too.” I look at her in all honesty and see her face burn bright as she looks into my eyes.

“You aint kidding are you?”

“Not one bit.”

I watch her as she gets up and paces for a moment before looking at me agitated...indecisive.  She does this a couple more times before finally saying; “I'm going to bed.”

“What about my homework?”

“Not now Sam.” She murmurs leaving my room.

I let out a sigh once she’s gone and go and sit at my desk. “Alright I’ll do it myself.”

...I give up five minutes later.

***

I lay awake for hours. Mulling over thoughts that kept racing through my mind. Yvette, the kiss, our friendship. I think of her loving me. More then what I ever knew. It’s not a question of IF I love her back. Because I know that I do. I’ve always had a tender affection for Yvette. She was my closest friend. It was more of a question of how much I loved her, or HOW I loved her at all. I have always been straight. I’ve never gone out with a girl before. But that kiss. I brush my fingers against my lips again and feel my heart stutter. That kiss. No matter what path my thoughts take they always re-route themselves back to the kiss. I liked it. Yvette was right. I can’t say that I didn’t like it. I leaned forward. It left me breathless. In comparison to any other kiss that I had ever had, that small kiss between Yvette and I had topped them all. And it wasn’t even much of a kiss when you think of it. I mean, she only just joined our lips. And only for a moment.  I get up off my made bed and pace for a moment, shoving my hands into my coat pockets. I frown as my hand touches something cold in my right pocket. And I pull out a silver key. A key to Yvette’s house, I had put it into my pocket after letting myself in. Upon seeing the key shiny in my hand I form a decision. That I will go to Yvette’s. That I wanted to show her just what a kiss from me really was. I closed my hand hard over the key and glanced at the clock by my bed, quarter past one. She’s probably asleep, unless that is; she’s as crazy as me and still thinking of the kiss like I was. I walk determined from my room; leave the shared apartment locking the door quietly behind me. Before getting into my car and driving confidently to Yvette’s flat.

***

I'm sitting at the end of my bed. I haven’t gotten changed properly and am only wearing my shirt. I was so stupid. I’ve ruined my friendship with Azaria. She’ll not take me back after what I have done. I kissed her. I lick my lips and feel a want for more; knowing that there is none. My ears prick up and I look as if past my door to the direction of my front door. I can hear the distinctive sound of it opening. But I am sure that I had locked it. After Azaria left I went to the door deliberately to lock it. As if to keep her from coming back again. I swallow nervously and stand up heading to my dresser. I pick up an umbrella and edge closer to my door and take a look out. I don’t live in the safest part of Melbourne; it could be anyone coming into my house. I slip out of the door and raise the umbrella above my head. Turn a corner; I see a shadow out of the corner of my eye and before the intruder has a chance to utter a sound I swing the umbrella at their head with full force, yelling at the top of my lungs for affect.

“Yvette!!”

I raise the umbrella again, until I recognise the voice... “Azaria?”

I hear a mumbled response and glimpse through the darkness at the face of the intruder. And immediately -even in the dark- recognise the features of my friends face.

“Azaria!!” I drop the umbrella in shock and kneel beside Azaria who holds her cheek and winces when she picks herself up. “Are you okay?”

“Nmm-hm.”

“You’re bleeding!” I cry in alarm when Azaria moves her hand from her face. “I have some first-aid. Here I’ll clean it up. One of the umbrella spokes must be broken.” While stammering through all this I lead a silent Azaria through the dark lounge to my incredibly small kitchen, where I grab the first-aid kit.

***

“There, that should do it.” Yvette puts the first-aid kit back on top of her fridge. She stands facing the fridge before turning to me and smiling at me unsure, now that my face is patched up. “Y-you’ve been quiet.”

“Yeah.” I look down at my hands and bite my lower lip. Now that I was here and after being hit...I had butterflies!

“A-Azaria.” I look up at Yvette. She’s taken a couple steps toward me, but she still keeps her distance from me. “I wanted to apologise for before, I mean...kissing you.” She takes a breath and looks down and with a tremor in her breath she says; “You were right, I shouldn’t have done it. I'm sorry.”

“Yvette...come closer.”

“What?”

I look up to meet Yvettes eyes. “Come closer to me.” She takes a tentative step toward me. “Closer.” Another step. “Yvette, closer.” Damn she’s walking so damn slow, her steps are so small, tentative. She takes a couple of more steps. And I can’t take it no more. “Damn it Yvette! I said closer.” At this I stand up and rush toward her taking her face in my hands and pull her in for a kiss. My hands leave her face as I kiss my life-long friend and I take her hips pulling her into me. Feel her hands snake around my neck pulling me into the kiss, deepening it. My tongue runs hungrily across her lips before entering her mouth and exploring the soft wetness found there; I taste a new sweet unknown taste that only makes me hungrier. I hear her whimper as my hands invade the boundary of her shirt and feel her skin so soft. My breath quavers as the kiss slows and I pull out and I lean my head on her cotton shirt.

“A-Azaria,” Yvettes voice is husky and chaffed at the edges. She’s out of breath like me and I hear her swallow hard.

“You don’t have to be sorry Yvette.” I look into Yevettes eyes and feel lost for words at her flushed face. I bring up my hand and cup her small delicate cheek within it. “You don’t have to be sorry Yvette. I-I over re-acted. I was the one that was wrong. I-I,” I choke on my words and have to remember how to breathe, closing my eyes raise my head toward the roof. “You’re so beautiful. I’ve always loved you Yvette.” I let out a defenceless sigh at the feel of your lips at my throat, travelling to my jaw. You pull down my neck and kiss me on each side of my brows, my forehead, my lips, each of my eyelids, my lips again. All the while, your hands move to my clothes taking off my coat, pulling at my pants, searching beneath my shirt before coming out again to run through my hair. You kiss me again pressing your lips against mine and bitting my lip, pulling on it. “Eghh, Y-Yvette. That feels so good.”

“Hmmm, well then; care to follow me to my room then?”

“Oh yeah, don’t you know it baby.” I smile sideways as Yvette leads me to her room with a sultry smile.

And that’s where we spend the night...and not too many weeks later...that’s where we spend nearly every night...

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