I was one of those who looked, though I didn’t care anything for it.
Doctor Akagi: I’d loved her since I’d met her. She was beautiful and intelligent; absolutely perfect and utterly cold. Nothing ever touched her. Nothing ever fazed her. Even when she’d fallen in love with Commander Ikari, there had been something sterile about her passion—something heartless about her gaze.
But Major Katsuragi had always been something else. Doctor Akagi never went out with anyone else; never drank with anyone else; never really relaxed with anyone else. Only the Major ever brought out the warmth in Doctor Akagi’s eyes—not that Major Katsuragi ever even knew it.
I envied Major Katsuragi.
~~~~~
I remember the day we found the Major—and the barely suppressed urgency in Doctor Akagi. Doctor Akagi had stayed by her side for days. It was only after the Major had woken up, then fallen asleep again, that Doctor Akagi had gotten up—only to collapse against the wall from exhaustion. Even then, she’d refused to take my hand. She always refused to take anyone’s hand, though that hadn’t stopped her from holding Major Katsuragi’s.
~~~~~
I can’t remember when I first noticed it, only that things were suddenly different. They touched each other more frequently, shadowed each other more closely. There was the slightest hint of possessiveness in the way the Major put her hand on the Doctor’s shoulder.
And then one day I caught them: in the Major’s office, through the sliver of the door’s opening. There was Doctor Akagi, her back against the wall, her arms around the Major’s neck. They were kissing passionately. It was the playfulness in the Doctor’s voice, however, that drove a splinter into my heart.
This is the third time you’ve called me into your office.
And this is the fourth time that you’ve come.
The second visit was purely official.
It wasn’t pure or official when it ended.
You refused to let me out of the room.
Only because you refused to let me into your pants.
You’ve got a dirty mouth, Major.
Which is exactly how you like it, Doctor.
That was as far as their conversation got—at least as far as my endurance could take.I hated Major Katsuragi.
~~~~~
I remember the day they told me that I was being reassigned—that I was to be sent to the Arctic alone with Doctor Akagi. I remember how the world had stopped—how it had shriveled and contracted to the vision of a single dream. I hadn’t realized until then how vicious happiness could be. How it could make you walk out, uncaring, intent to wipe the smile off a rival’s lips.
I pitied Major Katsuragi.