I wake up at the sound of steady breathing. Steady, heavy breathing… It kind of lulls me and makes me cross the frontier of consciousness and unconsciousness. But soon, the sunlight just makes it impossible for my eyes to rest. I open my eyes and see a mess! I sit down gently to see my skinny black jeans in the floor next to the bed I am currently on, a lacy yellow tank top that belongs to me, scattered across the room, as well as my black pumps and my purse, lying down the closest to the door. There are scattered plastic bags, and two bottles of vodka lying in separate parts of the floor, and another pair of jeans that did not belong to me. I look to myself and see myself under blue, heavy covers; I know now that I’m only wearing panties, a sports bra and my black and white, zebra pattern t-shirt, I can feel it. I look at my left foot and see that its toes are intertwined with another set of toes.
I feel relief and happiness wash over me, as I spot a messy dark brown mane covering the most beautiful face in the world for me. I sigh and lay down again; I feel like I had run for ages and finally stopped running to rest. I feel like an adventure was over, I feel complete.
For a few moments all I can do is stare at the ceiling with a smile on my face. Although I know the war was still not over, I think this is a huge ass victory and it needs to be celebrated with a clean-up, a good hair and teeth brushing, and some breakfast for this sexy champion!
I stand up and begin tidying up, and then I go to the restroom to fix my messy self! Make up here, make up there! Brush my teeth, brushing my hair! I’m so happy right now! I put on a hairpin to keep my bangs from falling in my face, and ready! I’m presentable!
I get out of the bathroom to find Alice looking for me, already panicking.
“If you were really paying attention, you might have noticed I was singing in the washroom” I say softly, smiling so she can see that I’m just messing around.
“You… You are really here.” She says whispering, as if she was afraid that her own voice was going to wake her up. Fortunately this is reality.
“Of course, I just did not want to look like a…” I stop to look at her attire. A very loose t-shirt clings from her shoulders; it was dark blue, and I could see her panties, which were plain and black. However, those were not the astounding details but the bags under her sparkling amber eyes were. That, and her messy hairdo, combined with the smell of vomit and the bruises… Well, let’s just say that her appearance had seen better days. “I wanted to brush my teeth.”
She blushes immensely at my implication and hides under the blue covers. I sigh and follow her under the covers, already dressed up.
“Hey! You look sexy like this! Plus, I’m sorry…” I simply say, holding her spoon style. She just relaxes and turns around to face me. She then moves slowly so that she’s on top of me, straddling my hips.
“I know you are. And I’m sorry as well… I did things wrong, too.” She looks like she wants to cry and I pull her close to me. “We make mistakes, right?” I say “but seriously, you smell horrible.” I say with a sad grin, but a grin nonetheless. She stares at me with hopeful eyes and then slaps me really hard… Wait what?!
“Ouch! Alice, what’s wrong with you?!” She moves my arms, which are protecting my face (with a tremendous force), to punch me straight in the face, almost knocking me out, and then I feel her tickling me. I think her brain is broken or something!
“You fucking left! That’s what is wrong!”
“PLEASE DON’T TICKLE ME!” Next, I feel an excruciating pain in my left cheek.
“OW!!! STOP! ALICE, S-STOP!” She was biting my cheek so hard that I fear it will leave marks. I’m really vain, if you haven’t noticed, by the way.
“You left me!”
“You never acknowledged me” I say sad, too.
“I was afraid of rejection, at the beginning.”
“I gave you my first TIME! I told you I was yours, I told you… I gave you many signs…”
“Well… that was not at the very beginning! Plus, you did not ask me out either”
“I know, I want to say that was because of Blue, but that is just another excuse.”
“I can say the same.” By this time in the discussion, we’re already talking softly and in an apologizing tone. She sighs “I made your cheek bleed…” She licks my cheek very slightly, and while it stings, it makes me feel some sort of relief.
“You still smell bad.” I say softly, kissing her in the lips.
“I… Missed you like hell.”
“I miss your old smell right now.”
“Can you just stop teasing me?!” She says pushing me off and running to the bathroom while I laugh my ass off.
“I’m sorry, baby.” No response. “I’m sorry for teasing you and your beautiful hangover style.” No response “I’m sorry for being such a mood killer!”
“ARGH! It’s COOL! We’re cool!” I hear and I cannot help but smile softly.
“I’m gonna’ go buy some cereal, hun’. Do you have a special request?”
“FRUIT LOOPS!” She screams while she opens the door a bit, just enough for me to see her head poking out. “Also, can you lend me your mascara?”
“Yes, sweetie, take anything you want.” I say walking up to her and opening the bathroom door completely. She jumps from the surprise and I kiss her madly.
“You are the most beautiful sweetheart, even when you are at your worst. And even with that scent, you are tastier than a hot, chunky brownie.” I say playfully looking at her while ruffling her bangs, yet with a hint of seriousness. “Brownies and sweethearts are serious business.”
She blushes and frowns. “Yeah, whatever makes you bring some fruit loops now! I’m actually starving…” She says worriedly.
I worry but say nothing. I must leave her to get her food and let her get cleaned up.
I rush my way out to the store, and get the fruit loops and a half a gallon of milk. While I am at the counter I can’t help but notice that the freaky old man is staring hard at my cheek.
“Do my fruit loops have to charge themselves so I can pay?” I know I was being rude but the way he was looking at me started to piss me off.
“I’m sorry miss!” He says finally scanning the items “if you don’t mind me asking, how you got that scar? It looks ‘fresh’…”
“I do mind.” I say dryly.
“Sorry to intrude miss, I just don’t like to see women hurt.” He then throws me a look that says ‘Let me help you’.
“JESUS FU--! Just tell me how much is it, now…” I put a little more venom in the last word.
“It’s uh $5.39” I give him five bucks and four dimes, and wait for my receipt to come along. “Miss, I...”
“Shut UP!!!” I just leave. Wow, my temperament is back! This must be a signal that I am recovering from my depression.
When I got back to Fred’s place, or her sister’s or whatever, Alice was waiting for me, fully dressed in a purple plaid shirt (one that looked pretty familiar), and her jeans. She turns to see me with a worried glance as her eyes land on my cheek.
“God, I’m awful, I swear” she says nervous.
“It cannot be that bad” I say nonchalantly and take her by the hand. In fact, I am much panicked about my face, but I don’t want Alice to worry over this. “But here is your food mademoiselle!”
“Thanks Red!” She quickly takes off my bag and begins pouring cereal into a bowl. I get easily distracted by her plaid shirt, which looks large for her; as if it belonged to a taller person. “That shirt seems familiar to me” I say frowning.
She flinches when pouring the milk, and stares up at me shyly. “It’s actually yours.” She tries to sound indifferent but she’s failing miserably.
“And how did you get MY shirt?” I reply raising an eyebrow.
“Blue gave it to me. I missed you, and asked Blue… ARGH! You left it, and I was only saving it for you!”
“Ah! Did you sniffed at it?!” I imply with a serious face.
“Oh come on! I was totally wearing this shirt right now so you could think ‘Hey that’s sexy, she’s wearing my shirt!’ and all I got is a ‘you a stalker?’ look! You make me sound like I’m creepy.”
“Well, you know me!” I say grinning “And now that I am truly happy, there’s no reason for the jokes to stop.” I say hugging her and sniffing at her hair. “See? We’re even now. Un, you smell so much better!” She playfully pinches my cheek and it really fucking stings! I can barely contain it.
She sighs and takes my cheek into her hand. She takes a closer look and her face fills with regret. “I think it will be a beautiful scar…” I murmur slightly burying my nose into her face.
“I’m…”
“You have to eat your Fruit Loops, sweetie.” I say separating myself from her. “By the way, that shirt you’re wearing makes me want to rip it off from you.” I wink at her and I’m all smiles through breakfast. Well, brunch…
Soon enough, my little paradise is kind of fading; I’m receiving a phone call.
“Hello?”
“Red…” It was Freddie, “Blue is looking for you. He says something about your mother being in town.”
“Oh…” I know what this means. “Well, thank you Fred, I’ll stop by to drop the key. Don’t worry! I cleaned up…”
“Thanks Red. Are you… guys together?”
“Well…” I stare at Alice and mute my phone. “Will you be my girlfriend?”
“Seriously?!” She asks with wide eyes.
“I’ll take that as a yes!” I wink at her and send her a kiss. I put the volume back and place my phone next to my ear “Yeah, we’re a couple.”
“Well, uh congratulations, I guess.”
“Thank you, for all you’ve done I mean…” I say hanging up. I don’t know why but I think Fred did not like that I’m with Alice again. I’m not a fool, I know he’s still somehow infatuated with me, but he should know I don’t share those feelings.
“So, what did Fred tell you?” She sounds a little jealous, but I cannot blame her, after all, Freddie got close to me so fast, even faster than she did.
“Oh?” I put on a small grin “don’t be jealous, after all, he helped me get back with you, and also helped you…” She sighs and shoots an apologizing look. “Mom’s home…” I say seriously. “Blue is looking for me right now, so I might have to go home.”
She grimaces at this and lowers her gaze to her cereal bowl. “Sorry, I must have gotten you into trouble…”
“Don’t fret over that” I say nonchalantly “I’d gotten you into trouble before, right? It’s all about returning the favor.” I say jokingly.
“I mean no harm.”
“I’m joking, babe.” I say finishing my own bowl of cereal. “It’s funny how you used to be the teaser and now you are the teasée.”
“Well, I’m a teaser, but I like it more when you’re confident in yourself.” She says smiling up at me. That takes me by surprise.
“What do you mean? I’d always been confident… Well, in most of the things, or some… Well, I was kind of a bitch, am. Urgh! Well, I guess I was not confident or open with you before. Not even after we had sex. I’m sorry for being so difficult.”
“That makes it a more glorious victory.” She smiles genuinely.
“I wish I could stay here with you all day long.” I say softly “but, changing the subject, I think it’s better if you return to your house, too.”
She grimaces again. “Mom was pretty harsh.”
“What’s her problem, anyway? To hit you for such a thing… wait, why did she get mad at you?”
“She thought I left Blue for you, which is nothing but the truth.” Sighs “you know how she is, she just thinks so lowly of me; that I’m a whore and to have some dignity... She gets mad at things like these, and then she regrets it and asks for forgiveness. I know she was looking for me as well, I just... I am afraid that we fight again. I mean I can tell that she loves me in her very own way she’s just very violent. I do love her, that’s why I have not left yet.”
“I think that is very monstrously abusive of her.”
“It is, that’s why I’m taking my time…”
“You know, you can always go to the police.”
“I know it, but I wouldn’t like it if she’s in jail. I’m almost eighteen anyway, so I might as well move out soon.”
“Oh, wait, what about your dad? I mean you told me he’s a douche but, is your dad worst than your mom? Or why does he not do anything about it?”
“I really don’t know. My father, he never even looked at me. Mom can be abusive but if I don’t cause her any trouble, she’s even nice. She has, through her own bipolar way, encouraged me to go forward. Father did never acknowledge me; only supported us financially, I guess that’s the whole reason he has yet to interfere with mom about her punishments.”
“You’re more than welcome to come with me, anytime.”
“I don’t want to have to see Blue.” She sighs again and stands up to start washing the dishes.
“Did he hurt you?”
“No, he just… He was a sweetie. I could not live with him in the same house… that would hurt him so much…”
“You are already together with me. I know it might sound contradictive since I told you that it would be me who will fight for you but, you have to get involved in my family, at least with my parents.”
“What if we just moved out, to another place? I could work you know…”
“Alice, I am deeply sorry baby, but please understand me. My parents have always been the comprehensive, supporting and loving kind. I don’t know how I turned out to be such a bitch with those kinds of models in my life! Yeah, they’re almost never here, but that is for our own well being! And we always understood… Even though it hurts that I cannot see my mom more than once over three weeks. And I know that as soon as they get over their financial or legal problems, we’ll be reunited. I fear that I ruined it with Blue, but it’s never too late to hope that Mom and Dad will always love me.”
Alice’s just speechless through my speech. Finally she grunts “Oh, okay. I’ll try to get along with your parents, but… how do you think they are going to cope with us?”
“I don’t know, it might turn out well, but it might not.”
“I have a request” she says with a smile. “I want to tell my mom first.”
I kneel in front of her “I agree with thee.”
“You’re such a clown.” She smiles and drags me out of the house with her. I seriously want to pee from the nervous attack that I’m having right now. I’m going to meet Alice’s mom again!
We arrive at Alice’s place walking. We took the bus seeing as my car is currently at my house and Blue’s got the keys. Anyways, as we keep walking we see her dad washing his car. He is wearing a black wife beater and worn out jeans as he stares up to his daughter. He stops to look at her, his face with a hint of sorrow. I can only imagine what he’s thinking. Then, he looks at me with a resentful look, but he looked defeated nonetheless.
“Good afternoon.” I say to break the tension, or unleash the fury.
“Miss Biermann.” He says turning away from me. “Alice, your mom’s been looking for you.” He simply says.
“Yeah, I know dad. I’ll just go inside.”
He nods and lets her daughter go inside. “Miss Biermann, I would like to have a word with you.”
My palms begin to sweat as I nod back to him and squeeze Alice’s shoulder, encouraging her to go talk to her mother. She glances at me nervously but hurries into her home.
I’m left alone with my tentative Father-in-law, and he might not be as reasonable as my parents. He might just let the dogs out too, or get the shotgun out of its hiding place, oh God!
He looks at me and starts “Well, I just wanted them to talk alone.” He then returns to do his task. Okay, that was unexpected.
“Mr. Giulliacci, I assure you Alice is in good care, with me.”
He just nods. I don’t think he wants to talk to me.
“I feel like we should talk...” I say pushing this conversation a little more. There’s a little voice inside my head that’s telling me JUST STOP! But I’m like ‘I feel obligated!’
“Look, if you want to talk to somebody, you should just talk to her mama.” He has a hint of an Italian accent.
“I… Don’t you want to know about your daughter?”
He sighs heavily and puts the dirty cloth in a bucket. “Look, I don’t mean to be so indifferent, but I would feel like a hypocrite. I was not very involved in Alice’s life, not at all to be exact. How can I pretend to care, now that she’s grown up all by herself? I don’t have her respect, or acknowledgement as a father. That’s why I stay away from her business.”
I don’t know what to say. I’m kind of sad that he’s given up, but I respect him a little more.
“Uh, I know that this is not much coming from a teenager but… it’s better late than never. That’s what my granny used to say.”
“Thank you for your words.” He says sighing “but I still think she’s just too stubborn to forgive me.”
“It’s not so much about forgiveness, but about making it up. She needs your support, Sir. Plus, I’ll sweet talk to her about you!” I say trying to cheer him up. He just nods at me.
“You should go in now. I bet they’re done.” He says continuing with his task.
“Thanks… Bye.”
I make my way to the entrance and slowly open the door. I make my way inside the house and spot them at the living room. The tension in the air is thick, you can almost slice it. Alice is crying and her mother is furious.
“Well, look who’s here.” Her mother says poisonously.
“Mom, leave her alone.” She half says, half sobs.
“It’s alright Alice; I would like it if your mama talks to me.” I say walking up to Alice.
Alice’s mom does not say anything; she looks like she’s restraining herself from saying something inappropriate. I put an arm around Alice’s shoulder and with my other hand I ruffle her bangs. She smiles shortly but then looks bitter.
“Well?” I ask and wait for hell to unleash itself.
“I never liked you…” Alice’s mom starts.
“You barely know me.” I say interrupting. “Oops, sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt…”
“I know some things about you, Biermann. I know how you’ve always been behind my daughter, and how you betrayed your brother.”
“I’m sorry but I don’t think you have the authority to meddle between my brother’s and my business.” I say hoping I wouldn’t RAGE! “If you must know, I’m really sorry about hurting my brother. But there are things that I cannot suppress about myself. Alice, I really tried to leave her, see? But it was no use. I just hope that with time, my brother can forgive me. As for being behind your daughter, I assure you it was mutual, right Alice?”
Alice nods and rests her head against my shoulder.
“Oh Alice, you really have no shame.” Her mother says tiredly. “I know that you party and drink, even though you are underage. Alice has never been drunk before she met you and now I fear that she turns into an alcoholic…”
“I’m sorry Mrs. G. I’m trying to change that. I know it probably does not mean much to you, but I give you my word that I won’t drink until I’m 21. And when I’m 21 I’ll drink responsibly, and that, in parties and in every place and every time, I will take care of your daughter. But also, I have a request for you. I want you to stop hitting her and treating her bad.” I say in a bittersweet voice. “I also worry about her, as her girlfriend, and I need to know that she’s safe here as well.”
She does not say anything for the past minute, and I am starting to freak out!
“How did you get that scar in your cheek?”
I was not expecting that question. Huh…
“It was my cat.” I say “my kitty cat is always cranky. I was messing around with it, and it bit me.” I say grinning but still flushing. I see that Alice is trying hard to suppress her laugh.
“I see.” Her mom is being all serious business. “Well, I still don’t like you very much, but I don’t think that it matters that much.” She sighs loudly. “But for now I am okay with you two being together.” The last word she says it bitterly. “I promise to you that I will try not to repeat my violent behavior but if you fail to keep your promises, I’ll make sure that you pay, Miss Biermann.”
I was very intimidated but I try to keep it under a mask. “Thank you Mrs. Giulliacci.” She looks like she’s tired but satisfied… for now.
She leaves us alone in Alice’s living room.
“Are you okay, sweetie?” I ask taking her face into my hands.
“Yeah, I’m better now.” She says smiling a bit. I could tell she was really stressed out. “Your cat bit you.”
I whisper in her ear “She’s always cranky when I tease her.” And I give a little kiss in the earlobe. She laughs and suddenly I’m happy again. “I will go home now. If you want, you can stay here. You’ve been through so much stress.”
“I want to go with you. I just, can you wait for me, just a few moments?”
“Yeah, ah, can I use your bathroom?”
“Yeah, it’s in the corner of the hallway.” She says pointing at her left.
“Thanks babe.” I go to the restroom and close the door behind me. I look at myself in the mirror and see why everybody was freaking out. In my left cheek there was a purple circle of teeth marks. Oh my FREAKING God! Why was life so unfair?! I try to calm down but the bite mark is just there! It’ll probably take weeks to disappear! I put on some make up to make the little bitch less visible. By now, only a slightly purple crescent moon like scar could be visible. Really, I need a break now.
I fix my hair and return to the living room, where Alice is leaning against a wall. She looks at me guiltily. “What’s up?”
“It’s just… You saw it right?”
“I said don’t fret.” I smile and hold her. “Do you want to go now?”
“Yeah, let’s get this over with.” She says smiling slightly.
“Let’s go.” We walk out of her house but her father isn’t there anymore. We make our way to Freddie’s house to drop the keys. When he sees us he’s all bittersweet but makes no commentaries. We say good bye and take a bus to my home.
When we arrive I see mom’s truck and my hands start to sweat. Jesus, this is more difficult than I thought it will be. Alice squeezes my hand and I can tell that she’s nervous as well. “Let’s do this!” I say awkwardly.
“Y-yeah babe!” We walk through the front door and see Mom and Blue in the living room. They turn their heads towards us, and I can see Mom’s confused gaze and Blue’s bitter stare. For a few moments I can’t speak but then a figure walks out of the kitchen and I see my father.
“Daddy!” I forget about everything that’s happened and go embrace my father. I have not seen him in more than 3 months! This is spectacular!
“Hello Reddie!” Dad says content. “Who’s this?” I turn around and se Alice glancing at me happily. But then I regain my nervousness.
“Uh, she’s… my new girlfriend.” I speak softly and wait, for the third time in this day, for hell to be unleashed.