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Chapter 6
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What do you do when a long time bully who tortures you, insults you, and sexually harass you from the time you met at seven years of age till your eighteenth year cries in front of you?
Answer.
Ask me 'cause I have no idea.
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It was dark.
Did I die?
Am I already dead?
If this was the afterlife, I didn't want to be here.
It was too dark. I was in the dark. I didn't want to be in the dark.
Maybe this was hell. My own personal hell. With my own fear to let me rot until I become a mindless soul.
I feel someone touch my hand.
That wasn't right. I was supposed to be dead. Wasn't I?
The person started stroking my hand and I figured that maybe I really wasn't dead.
I could still feel. There was someone touching me. A hand. It was a little cold, but it began warming up as it continues its stroking. It felt small, not an adult's hand. Maybe a kid's hand. It was soft, so soft. I wanted to touch it back. I began to stir. The hand left. No! I wanted it back. I wanted to know who it was, who was touching me.
I tried to open my eyes. They opened a little and I saw darkness again. Maybe it was already night time. I closed my eyes again and opened them harder, but they were a little difficult to pry at that time. I left my eyes closed and decided to open them in the morning. Maybe by then they would have swollen down so that I can see. I tried to open up my other senses. My nose was swollen so was my ears and pretty much all of my face. I could still feel. My right hand was taped to something. I could feel the bed below me. I could feel a sheet covering me up to the chest. My throat was itchy and dry. I wanted some water, but couldn't even do so much as a groan.
I couldn't see anything. Could only smell and hear a little. I could smell antiseptic. I could tell because my mom used it on me when I injured myself on a sidewalk. I could hear someone walking, not too far and not too close. The sound maybe separated by a wall. There weren't much more noise other than that.
My face was starting to itch. I wanted to scratch them. Even if couldn't I could still move all of my body. I moved my left hand and reached up to my face. I scratched my face to relieve me from this itch. It was really itchy.
I heard a sound, a scrape of a chair and a rustling. I started to scratch harder when two hands stopped me. It was the hand earlier. I wanted to scratch some more, but those hands wont let me. I pulled my hand away, but they were stronger than me and I gave up.
I tried to distract myself with the hands that were touching me. They brought my hand back to my side. They never left my hand anymore and I was contented with that. I felt them by rubbing one hand gently with my thumb. I felt them squeeze me a bit. If I could, I would rub them on my face. They were just so soft. I didn't feel the itching anymore. I was too distracted to the point that I didn't even feel myself nodding off.
For once, I didn't mind that the only thing I could see was darkness. Those hands were the only thing that comforted me enough that can make me forget. To make me forget that I was afraid.
For once, I didn't mind.
For once, I could feel sleep without a light.
I felt the person leaning against me until I could feel her breath next to my ear.
"Happy Birthday." whispered a girl’s voice.
And I slept.
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I woke up seeing light behind my eyelids. I could feel my face had swollen down a bit. I could breathe better through my nose now and my ears weren't as closed up as before. My throat was drier now instead of itchy and I still wanted water. I opened my eyes to the view in front of me. I could open my eyes halfway, but not much more. It was fine by me as long I could see.
I saw white. The ceiling was white. Why was my ceiling white? Didn't I have a ceiling that was painted dark blue? My face scrunched up as best as it could. I turned my head so I could look around.
I saw white. Everything was white. I thought my eyes would go blind on me. Or was I blind already? I couldn't be blind, idiot. I berated myself in my head. Everybody knows that blind people could only see the dark.
I blinked hard and looked around some more. I found out that everything wasn't white as I saw before. There was a wooden chair on the left side of my bed and a door. The chair was empty, but didn't know why it was placed so close and facing my bed. I turned my head again and saw my mother sitting on a couch. I wanted to ask her for some water, but she was sleeping so soundly that I didn't wake her.
I thought about last night. I raised my left hand to my face, then looked around. Nobody was there except my mother. I was confused. It couldn't have been my mother. Those hands last night was soft, softer even than my mother's hands. I know my mother's hands were soft like that, but even if she puts on those hand lotions of hers those hands last night was much softer. It couldn't have been my mother even if her hands were as soft as those because they were smaller; just like my hands were. I felt them wrap around my hand so I could tell.
I stared at my left hand and wondered who the owner was. I remember the person whispering to me. The voice, the voice was like a girl's voice. She greeted me a happy birthday. That's right, it was my birthday today. I don't think that there was anything to be happy about with my birthday. With me having my swelling like a balloon. It was my birthday today and maybe, just maybe, my wish would come true. I wish I could see her again. I wanted to feel her touch me. I wanted to feel those hands again. Those hands that were so soft and comfortable.
I wanted to feel them again.
I really wanted to.
I never really got my wish.
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"Happy Birthday!" my mother was awake now and she was trying to cheer me up for my birthday.
I was sitting up in bed. I ignored the greeting and tried to find out who that mystery girl was.
"Mom, was there anyone who visited me last night?" I asked my mother.
My mom looked at me and scrunched her face.
"I don't know, bie." she calls me 'bie' even as I grew up. It's supposed to be short for baby and it's really embarrassing, but I don't mind. "Nobody came to visit you until I fell asleep after it hit about half past nine. The door to your room was always open through the night until something outside woke me up at two in the morning and decided to close it. If somebody visited you by the time I was asleep, then I wouldn't have noticed Even if that were the case, I don't think that one of your classmates would visit at that time of the night. You know, you really should make some friends-"
I didn't listen to one of her lectures about me not being social enough to make friends. Not that ignoring her would stop her from talking anyway. My mom kept on chattering, even if I didn't listen to her. I looked at my left hand and sighed. I still thought about the girl who visited me last night. I was disappointed that I didn't get to see who that girl was. I should've tried harder to open my eyes last night.
I closed my eyes and tried to remember the softness of that girl's hand.
That was the only thing I could do for now.
Try to remember.
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There was something very different when I went to school today. I was starting third grade now and it was my first day of school again. There really was something different, but I could figure out what. It's been bothering me from the last day of my second grade till today. I was so distracted with my thoughts of the person who visited me that night I had an attack that my days at school just brushed like a wind.
I didn't know what was bothering me. I only think that there was something missing from those days. I went to class, stared at the teacher, had lunch, stared at the teacher again, then went home. Was there really something missing?
I walked to school trying to remember what was missing since that day, but just couldn't figure it out. I know that there was something missing. As I entered school and my new room, I just sat at a chair at the back with a crumpled face until I saw her.
Serenity.
My eyes widened as a thought came through my head. That's right. That was missing.
Serenity.
Then my face started to turn into shock. All of her pranks stopped till that day with my accident and I didn't even notice. Well, I didn't think that I'd notice anyone after being so distracted. I didn't even notice that the time flew by so fast that I was now sitting here being a third grader.
I knew it was her that switched my lunch that day. She didn't apologize to me when I got back to school, heck, she doesn't even apologize after giving me hell for the day. I just thought that after what she did to me, she could have at least apologized. I wasn't as much as surprised about why she stopped her sadistic acts. Seeing as that last prank she pulled on me nearly had me six feet under or cremated if I had already written a will. I wouldn't like to find myself buried in a coffin, even if I was dead.
I followed Serenity with my eyes until she sat on a seat next to my desk. She never once looked at me even if I openly stared at her. She just sat there with her hands laced on her desk like the little miss angel that she was.
I still stared at her even when someone entered the room and kids started to scramble for their seats. A silence entered the room. Someone seemed to be speaking in the front, but no I just didn't seem to notice.
"Serenity Grace Rendle." someone called Serenity's name.
"Here." she responded and continued to sit there ignoring my stares.
"Clair Richards."
When someone called my name, the only thing I did was be as still as a rock and stare at Serenity. I didn't really know why I did that. I didn't know why I took my time to just stare at her when something was clearly happening in front of the class.
"Clair Richards?"
Someone called for my name again. I continued staring at Serenity without any consideration for my third grade life. Most of the kids who knew me from first to second grade turned their eyes on me trying to figure out why I wasn't responding to my name.
"Is there anyone here named Clair Richards?" someone asked.
One of my classmates before decided to point out where I was to whoever it was calling for me. I didn't even notice someone come near me until a hand slapped my desk. I jumped in my seat, finally ending my distracted state. I took my eyes away from Serenity to place it to the person in front of me.
The sight in front of me wasn't really pleasing to the eyes. Not because the person in front of me was ugly or something, but because of the person herself. From the rumors nobody messed with the person in front of me because of certain reasons. I didn't really think that was true when I had seen her before, but from the looks on her face right now, I really need to make my judgment of other people more accurate.
"Is your name Clair Richards?" she asked.
I couldn't respond for fear of making that scowling face of her's anymore redder than it already is. She looked like she was about to let out steam from her ears.
"Y-yes." I murmured softly as I was trying to shrink in my seat.
"Well Clair, if you lose interest when I haven't even started class yet, I don't think that it was appropriate for you to go out of your way to attend school. Is that right?" she inquired.
"N-no. I-I want to attend class. I-I was just di-distracted for a bit."
I tried to shrink more in my seat and looked at her with my puppy dog eyes. That seemed to soften her expression a bit, but not much to make her look human again.
"I don't like students who go to school then only disregard their education by not even trying to listen the person in front. Do you know what happens people who disregard their education Clair?" she asked, still standing in front of me.
From the corner of my eyes, the other students had their eyes on the front of the classroom now, too scared to look at anybody after the thunder of a slap on my desk. Not even a sound was heard through out the room.
"No." I finally answered, my eyes falling on my lap now.
"No?" she walked away from my desk, clearly not expecting an answer, with her hands clasped behind her back. "I would tell you all what happens to them, but I don't want to corrupt all your little minds myself." she paused.
She was now at the front of the class with her back to us. She was studying a piece of chalk until she decided it was the right time to use it. She was writing something in the blackboard now and at the same time she started to talk again.
"So, I'll tell you what, I'm going to let you all find out for yourselves what happens to the people who disregard their education. It's a big responsibility, but don't worry I'll see to it that all of you carry your responsibility well." she looked at all of us, then fixed her now calm gaze at me. "Is that right, Clair Richards?"
I could only nod my head as she started to introduce herself to the class. I already knew what her last name was, but didn't know what her first name was.
I was clearly taken back by the irony of what was in the blackboard.
Ms. Temperance Brendan.
I could only smile at that.
Letting one last glance at Serenity, I turned my gaze back at Ms. Temperance Brendan.
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