Story: The Bracelet (chapter 10)

Authors: Jessica Knight

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Chapter 10

Title: Part 10: Reflections Form The Past, And A Haven Right Now

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part ten:
REFLECTIONS FROM THE PAST, AND A HAVEN RIGHT NOW

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10:01 PM the same night, in Buffy's room...

It was about forty minutes later now, and Buffy stood by the bathroom mirror toweling off her hair. The simple act of doing that feeling unreasonably wonderful to her... Everything since she'd taken Amy in her arms in the guest room had felt like a haven almost... In her line of work, the act of getting clean, of just having a bath and washing her hair had become something really precious to her. Something she'd learned to saver. The feeling of being clean and warm and safe at home, to her, was one of the most valuable things in the world. Priceless. Still, even knowing that, this had been something so much better. The feeling of Amy's fingers tracing through her hair, over her skin. The warmth of the other girl's body against her. She closed her eyes a moment and sighed happily to herself at remembering. At how safe and loved the whole experience had made her feel. They hadn't even made love, but really they had made love. It was making love, with every touch. Every word. That's what it was.

She felt familiar arms encircle her from behind. Soft skin molding itself to her body as the weight of Amy's chin settled on her shoulder. Their eyes met in the mirror and Buffy couldn't help but give Amy a brilliant smile and turn in her arms, seeking out her waiting lips for a kiss. Amy's arms slid over her lower back and Buffy brought one of hers around to hold Amy's upper back, her other hand tracing lightly trough Amy's still damp hair. Buffy hummed in pleasure as the kiss ended. Amy's eyes were a little lost and blissful and Buffy gave her a shy smile with just a little daring in it as she moved down a little and started to kiss Amy's neck with a tenderness and care that showed her reverence for the connection they were slowly starting to share.

"I love you." Buffy heard Amy breathe. "And... I think you should keep kissing me... for a really long time..." Amy said teasingly into Buffy's hair.

A smile broke out on Buffy's face and she nuzzled into Amy's neck and giggled just a little. "We really should get to bed." Buffy said, backing up so she was just inches away from Amy's face, her hands resting on Amy's shoulders, Amy's arms still holding her back, their eyes meeting one another.

"Yeah, I think I can get behind that idea..." Amy said, a little of a crooked smile on her face tinged with anticipation. "As long as we can keep making out when we get there." She put forth the caveat, not expecting any opposition to be voiced over it, and moving in to capture Buffy's lips in a slow smoldering kiss to accentuate her beliefs on the subject.

"Bed." Buffy said. "We should go there." She buried her face in Amy's neck and laughed just a little bit. "But first, I think my mom wants to have a word with us..." She said, her sensitive hearing catching what Amy's could not.

"Your mom?" Amy asked. "What do you mean?"

A knock on the door. "Girls? Are you almost done in there?" Joyce's voice called.

"That's what I mean." Buffy laughed a little more and leaned back against the counter, taping the side of her head a little. "I have really good hearing." She said in a whisper.

"If you say you can leap tall buildings in a single bound, I swear..." Amy said, going over and getting a towel to wrap around herself.

"Girls?" Joyce's voice again.

"We're here mom." Buffy answered, still leaning against the counter and watching Amy wrap the towel around her body. "What is it?"

"I... That is. I was wondering what Amy's plans were for the night. Does she need a ride home?" The motherly concern somewhat evident in her voice, as well as a good deal of uncomfortableness too.

"Amy's staying with me tonight." Buffy said simply.

A moment's silence. "Buffy..."

"She's staying mom. There's no way I'm sending her home this late after everything that's happened today." Buffy said, pushing off from the counter and going over to retrieve her bath robe from it's hook. "It's just not going to happen."

More silence. "Buffy. I don't know what's happened tonight, you haven't told me yet. But for heaven's sake, you just met her this morning... But don't you think that's moving a little fast?"

Buffy groaned. "M-o-m." She whined. "Must you go there?" She asked.

"Well I'm sorry if I'm stepping on your good time, but--"

"Mom!" Buffy said. "Alright fine! No sex on the first date. I promise. Can we just go to bed now? I'm tired!" Buffy asked plaintively.

Buffy could almost hear her mom pinching the bridge of her nose through the door. "All right, fine. I'm sure you know best. With your track record, I don't know why I'm doubting you." Joyce said, meaning for the words to be taken the opposite of how they would properly be taken to mean.

Tying her robe, Buffy felt more of the strain return to her body and was grateful when Amy put a hand on her shoulder to show her support, their eyes met for only a moment.

"Mom..." She started. "Look, I know none of this is very fair to you. And I'm, I'm really sorry I had to bring all this to our door step the first day I go to school... I know you must be... really disappointed in me right now... But can you please just..." [Just what?] She asked herself without knowing the answer. "Can we please just talk about this in the morning?" Buffy asked finally, wishing she could have thought of something... more. Something better to say to her mom that would make everything at least a little more alright that it was. But, she'd hardly ever been that very successful with doing that in the past, had she? And she didn't know a reason why it should be any different now. Despite all the lying and obscuring of the truth she'd had to do over the last more than a year, she still remained not all that good at it.

"...Fine. Buffy I... I'm not disappointed. I just wish that... I don't know. I don't know what I wish. I just..." Joyce's voice trailed of, apparently caught for something to say as much as her daughter had been.

"Mom...." Buffy started.

"No, It's all right. You two... Have a good night." Joyce wished them, some amount of genuine warmth returning to her voice, along with a large portion of tiredness. "I'm going to bed now. I'll see you in the morning." And Buffy heard her turning to walk away.

"See you in the morning." Buffy said a little wistfully, knowing her mom wouldn't hear it.

Buffy turned and looked at Amy, who had been standing behind her holding her around her waist. "I'm sorry." She said.

"For what?" Amy asked.

"For dragging you into all this craziness. For you being stuck in here to witness my issues." Buffy explained, feeling a little self-conscious and embarrassed about Amy having had to hear all of that. "You still don't even know a lot of what's going on, do you?" She asked.

"No I don't." Amy admitted. "But I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now than here with you." She said. "And really." She pointed out. "That that just happened then? That was nothing. I mean, I should be so lucky to have a mom like that. You're really lucky, Buffy. You are."

"Yeah..." Buffy said, a smile coming back to her face. "Yeah I really am, aren't I?" She said, resting her head on Amy's shoulder and letting the other girl hold her for a few moments. She was lucky, she realized, and her mom, though making a huge contribution, wasn't her biggest reason why. "Let's go to bed." She finally said, taking Amy's hand in hers and leading her to the door.

"You know, it's funny. I'm not even tired." Amy said as she followed along.

"Why Amy." Buffy stopped and turned to face her. "Are you trying to tell me something? I did promise my mom you know..."

Amy's face reddened just a little and Buffy couldn't help but laugh, just a bit, before turning and leading Amy along to their room for the night.

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10:27 PM; Anther resident of the Summers
house sits alone with her thoughts...

Joyce Summers sat in her room, on the edge of her bed, resting her chin in the palms of her hands. She wasn't in much of a mood to sleep, yet she was very tired now. Very tired and, if she was honest, feeling very alone in all of this. It was a terrible thing, being alone. Not that she would admit that to her daughter... She had no friends in Sunnydale yet. The people at the museum were pleasant enough, but she had only just met them. She didn't seem to have her daughter's talent for landing on her feet, socially. Her first day in school and she was already dating and meeting friends to go dancing. She hated to admit it, but she was a little envious at how easy it all seemed to her daughter. Even through everything that had happened back in L.A. ...

Buffy had always been a girl with her own mind, Joyce knew. She'd done her best to encourage that too, even though it more often than not tended to drive her to distraction. So when half way through her first year of high school she declared she was gay and that she was in love with Ashley, her best friend, it had almost made a weird kind of sense to her. Not so much to her then husband, Hank, though. No, Hank was rather put out by it as it turned out. Not that Joyce couldn't sympathize with him. It hadn't exactly been an easy thing for her to deal with either (though she had consoled herself with the relief she'd felt that her daughter at least was now a lot less likely to get pregnant at a young age, thankful for small favors and all that). And she'd tried to educate herself about it of course, gone to the support groups, the whole thing. Hank even went with her a few times. He wasn't even a bigot or anything really, not overly religious in that bad way some people can be. He just had dreams for his daughter, dreams that in the end he couldn't seem to part with. So he'd parted with them instead. She still really had some bitterness in her aimed towards him for that. For abandoning her when he was meant to always be there. And, of course, for rebounding so fast with that secretary of his (she didn't even want to think about the implications of that little fact). More than hating him though, she found she missed him that much more. Or... maybe she just missed having someone to talk with, someone else to share the responsibility with. It hadn't been perfect with them, not by any means, but she still felt they'd done a good job as husband and wife. They'd raised a good daughter, and she still believed in that. She still believed it today. She had to.

But there had been a time when, she was forced to admit, she had doubted. Very nearly lost faith in herself and in her daughter. And the reason for that was now laying snugly in bed in her guest room down the hall. Gwen Raiden. Oh how she would have been glad to never hear that name again, never have her in their lives again. But there she was, like the original bad penny, just refusing to stay gone. And appearing on their doorstep in such bad shape as to not let her turn her away... Was it too crazy to think she engineered the whole beating she'd taken, just to flaunt it in her face that she could still wind herself back into Buffy's life at the drop of a hat? And Buffy would come to her defense, just like always. That was what had finally done it. She was what had finally done it... An argument about her, that was why Buffy had run away. That was what led to Hank finally getting fed up and leaving. Gwen Raiden. Buffy just would not stand for anything bad being said about her. No, as far as her daughter had been concerned, Gwen walked on water and could do no wrong. She'd told her daughter that she had to choose, her family or Gwen, and she'd chosen Gwen. And just like that she hadn't seen her daughter again for more than four months. So many times during those months, she'd driven herself mad with the questions over what Gwen and her daughter had been doing all the time they'd been together, what they were doing out there all alone. And her blaming herself for making Buffy choose, for not being a better mother, for a lot of things. At one point, the police had come 'round asking questions about her missing daughter. It seems she was wanted for questioning, accused of being an accomplice to a notorious up-and-coming master thief that no one had ever seen. They'd seen Buffy though, someone had managed to get a picture of her daughter scaling a building. Some law firm had been after them it had seemed. She never got the whole story. But eventually Buffy had come back, her and Gwen having parted ways. Joyce had asked her many times to tell her what had happened while she was gone, what had happened between her and Gwen, but Buffy had never spoken of it to her to any extent. Just letting the odd detail slip out now and then, none of which made much sense. And still, even after whatever it was her daughter had gone though, Buffy would still not stand anything bad being said about her precious Gwen. Joyce just didn't understand it. But had learned to let the subject lay, for there to be peace between them. And peace there had been. Peace and a new start in a new town.

One thing Joyce was sure of, Buffy didn't love someone half way. When she and A.J. had broken up, when A.J. had broken her heart, Buffy had just withdrawn into herself for weeks. She still went to school, still talked, still did everything she'd normally done. It had just been like some light had gone out in her eyes. And some time after, things had started to happen. She'd started staying out late, coming home at all hours, never giving her a straight answer. She hadn't known what to think, and had had a very hard time even pinning down what it might be that had changed. It was clear though that her daughter had changed somehow. As self-assured and capable as her daughter had been before, she seemed to get more so. She seemed to get harder and more taciturn as well. It had gotten to the point that Joyce had been so grateful to Gwen for appearing when she had, she remembered it now with a certain bitterness. Gwen had just appeared in their lives one day and brought it all back. The daughter Joyce had raised, the life and joy in Buffy's eyes had returned, brighter than ever it seemed at times. She supposed, she did owe Gwen for that much at least. Even after Buffy returned from her time... away. That light had never gone out again. Whatever had happened between them, Gwen hadn't left her daughter with another broken heart, Joyce at least knew that much.

Maybe tomorrow she would finally get some answers. It would be nice, she thought. It couldn't be as bad as not knowing. Could it? She wished so much she had a real person she could ask that question to... She thought of her daughter in the room down the hall. She couldn't quite bring herself to imagine what might be going on in that room. But she did know, Buffy wasn't alone tonight, and she was. She was. She sighed.... Oh well, tomorrow was another day, right?...She'd find her way again, she had to believe that. Otherwise, what would be the point?

Joyce lay back onto her pillow and thought. What was it that Buffy had said to her that morning? "Girl's gotta try"? That sounded about right.

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to be continued in part eleven...
ANNE IN A DREAM...

see you next time!

[End notes: Thanks for all the great reviews and feedback so far, it really helps!]

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