Perhaps I’m not worth anything. Or rather, I know I’m worth nothing.
I have never imagined everything to turn out this way. As far as I’m concerned, I shouldn’t exist on this planet; or in this case, my own room.
My jaws dropped as I saw Mari stepped out of the bathroom. She was wearing a nightie that covered her body all the way to her ankles. The fabric was transparent and she was not ashamed of her appearance. Rather, she held her head high and proud, while searching for my eyes.
Her eyes were so clear and bright that I had to look away. I was a confused girl, after all.
Scratching my head a little, I cast a sideway glance at her direction. Her lace panties were not invisible. The flowers on her panties seemed to blossom right before my eyes and I blushed. Her thighs were supple and her ankles were rounded in the right way. Her calves were graceful like her legs. Her waist was narrow; not as narrow as Ryoko’s but narrow and firm but soft in a feminine way.
Her breasts were rounded and well-shaped; her nighties did not leave much to my imagination. But I bit my lower lip in slight frustration because her nipples were well-hidden; just not enough to stall my imagination.
She did not mind my searching eyes. As a matter of fact, she brushed her hair and smiled.
Keiko pouted: “That’s not fair, Miss Kanazuki!” She stood up and puffed up her chest, which was somewhat flat for a teenage girl. “You didn’t tell me you were going to wear THAT!”
Mari laughed. Her voice was like bells.
Then she looked my way. MY WAY! Her teasing eyes tried their best to provoke that passion in me.
Her eyes were igniting pure passion in this frail and geeky girl with glasses.
I probably gave very little positive response back to her, if any. I tried to keep my gaze down but my heart was pounding fast.
I remember the last time I had such response was hearing Ryoko being naked in the locker room and tickled by her peers.
I bit my lower lip again. I’m a girl! I reminded myself. I can’t feel excited about my best friend! Oh God, no…
Just when I thought I had it all under control, Mari started stroking my arm. Her slender fingers gently slid down to my fingertips and then slowly crawled up my arm, to my shoulders. She continued without showing any sign of stopping.
I had to look away. My body was melting like jello and I tried very hard not to think about her presence near me.
“Wha…what are you doing?” My voice sounded so tiny in my ears.
“I’m just trying to make you feel relaxed.” She said.
Shocking encounter/the struggle of my heart
I bit my lower lip. I closed my eyes and snapped my head back. Oh God, this was what I was asking for all these years…
To be touched the right way, to be understood…
To be affirmed!
To be loved!
To be confirmed!
But…I couldn’t help myself and my eyes opened wide.
I stood up and brushed Mari’s arms aside.
As soon as I did that, I bit my lower lips. My body trembled and my heart beat fast.
I turned to see that Mari’s eyes were widened and Keiko’s jaw dropped. Slowly, their faces fell and my heart sank. I squeezed my lips together.
I had to turn my eyes when Mari tried to probe into my eyes. “What’s wrong, Sayoko?” She said.
Keiko’s eyes simply stayed on my face. I looked aside and tried to avoid her gaze all together.
Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Mari stood up. “Oh God, Sayoko, I didn’t…” She took a step toward me. “Oh God…oh God…”She said.
She reached out buy stopped short of my arm. The muscles on my arm twitched but my arms remained at my side. “Look, I, uh…” I mumbled. “You know, I…”
Out of the corner of my eyes, I see Mari’s arms froze in mid air. “Hey, Sayoko, listen, I …”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I snapped my head opposite of her direction and retracted away from her. With my eyes closed, I tried to find my way to the door of my bedroom.
“I…I’m sorry…” I muttered. I managed to push the sounds through my lips.
With that, I opened the door and rushed out.
“Where are you going?” Keiko said. “It’s 1:00 AM…I mean, it’s your house…” Her voice trailed in my ears as I ran and ran. I barely remembered to close my door before I came out on to the streets.
I just ran.
The last thing I remembered before I ran was Mari’s face.
Her eyes were droopy and her expression was downcast.
It was probably after midnight when I ran away. The streets were empty and the lights were bright but harsh. I was in my pajamas and slippers as I ran. I had difficulties running with slippers on but I couldn’t stop.
I couldn’t stay. My heart was beating fast and my mind was racing toward the unknown. I wanted to die, and yet I wanted to live. My thoughts was became a train wreck and my feeling was a mess.
What was I doing? What was I thinking? I ran and I ran, until I ran out of breath.
I gripped my knees for a minute while gasping. God, it felt more like a thousand hours rather than however short it took.
I couldn’t think; my heart was pounding and it was threatening to jump out of my chest.
It was not a good time to shock me further. But alas, the shock appeared in front of my eyes.
Ryoko was sitting on the seat of one of the swing sets. Her face was expressionless and her eyes were dim.
They didn’t stay dim for long as she lifted her head. Pausing briefly, she turned and took me into her vision.
Her eyes widened briefly before she suddenly stood up. “Sayako…” She muttered.
My knees became jelly-like and I mustered all my strength to stand up straight; I didn’t want to fall down before her.
Her eyes narrowed slightly. “But…why…?” She whispered. “How…?”
The feeling of my knees touching the hard earth surprised me. I was kneeling before I realized it.
I held myself together as much as I could. I was shivering while my pajamas were barely providing protection for my body.
Closing my eyes, I savored the feeling of being covered with only thin fabric.
I was, for my intentions and purposes, naked. I was shaking all over. Shadows and images slashed my mind, soul and body.
I shivered; the tremble in my heart couldn’t be stopped and the storm brewing couldn’t be soothed.
Opening my eyes, I focused on Ryoko’s face and then, to my shame, her body.
Her shorts and t-shirt didn’t hide much of her fine and toned body. Obviously, she didn’t have huge breasts, but her shapes were firm and rounded. Most importantly, her collarbone was just right and her waist was lean and fit.
My eyes drifted to her feet. She quickly curled her toes up a little and I could sense her embarrassment, but I was able to observe her toes and her feet.
They were strong, firm, long, slim and lovely. I could tell there were no weaknesses in their structures.
While I wondered about the road she traveled on this wretched planet, she spoke.
“Are you done? I’m…” she laughed. “These aren’t attractive, you know.”
I quickly looked up to catch her sticking her tongue out.
At that moment, I ran to her despite of me.
Before I could reach out and embrace her, I stood dead in my tracks.
“You know, I…” I said. My voice was caught in my throat. “I, um…”
The time froze for the two of us. We stood inches apart and neither of us spoke.
I closed my eyes; next moment, I found myself surrounded by her smell. Ryoko held me in her arms. God, she smelled nice.
It was cold and I was shivering in my jammies. She was warm and comforting. The aura of her presence gently enveloped me and took me into her. Her being was soft and yet firm and strong. If she wanted, she could probably protect me against anything this world could throw at me.
I sank into her; I sank within her. Her aura reflected off the azure ocean and her eyes were deeper than the depth of ocean that I had known up to that point.
I shook my body slightly, but she held on to me. I was sinking further into her being. I wasn't afraid of sinking; it felt kind of nice, but at the same time, the layers that were protecting the core of my being from meeting the outside world were slowly being peeled away.
The more I shredded my protection, the more feminine I became. My arms moved despite myself and I held her in return. I couldn't feel her bra strap.
"You've been hurting all this time." She said. Her voice was quiet and soothing, being an octave lower than usual.
My frail bodily frame trembled. She was gently and steadily breaking my defense down. "Look, I..."
"Shhh." She said. "Just rest in my arms for now, OK?"
She whispered in my ears and that really tickled. A tingling sensation traveled down my spine.
Before I could do anything else, I sank into her further.
Her embraced tightened and we nearly became one then.
I sighed. My eyelids became heavier and heavier. I didn't want to go to sleep because I didn't want to miss every waking moment in her arms.
But my body was weak. The last thing I remember were my lips resting on her collarbone.
Her soft laughter rang in my ears before I passed out.