I sit here watching her. I sit and stare and I remember. I remember the day I fell for her. I can tell you she was wearing a dark blue demin skirt and a bright pink tee. I can tell you she had her strawberry blonde hair up in a bouncy ponytail. I can tell you that she stood proud next to her boyfriend the football star. I can tell you that I couldn't get near her without fainting. Or I could tell you how we were once best friends that promised to stick together forever. How about I tell you how I skrewed everything up by falling for her.
I think I've always loved her. From the moment I met her. I just didn't know it at the time. It was like it just hit me one day. The truth as to why I always wanted to stick right next to her. Of why it pained me that she would ignore me if I said or did something wrong. That the moment we touch I felt a shock go throughout my body. The moment she first smiled at me, I thought I would literaly reach the stars and moon. Her laugh was like listening to angels sing. But not all was good. There were some bad times. Like when she tried to become one of the "cool" kids by bullying me in front of them. Then apolegies right after they leave laughing at what she did to me. And I would always forgive her. God why did I forgive her the first time that happened? Oh right. I fell for her without knowing it. We were entering our third year of high school. We have five years. It was a week before school started up again. We went to our favorite place since childhood. The soda shop. That was the name of the place. It's called Dave's Diner now. I don't go there now. It hurts too much to go near it. We were sitting at our spot laughing and joking while waiting for our food. Then she said that we should play footsie while the "cute" waiter came up to our table with our food. So we did. I didn't want to stop. The waiter leered at as the whole time we were there eating. I couldn't even touch my food. I felt so dirty when he looked at us like that. She just smirked the whole time at the guy. My heart beated so hard I thought it would burst. Now that would have been interesting to see. My blood covered all over her. My heart still beating a mile a minute. I looked down at my plate of food. Okay not something I want to see while eating. As we were leaving she acted like it was a date. Hanging all over my arm as we walked by the waiter. Blowing kisses at him and me. I actually thought she felt the same way. Right outside the door I leaned down (I'm taller then her) to give her my first kiss.
It was heaven. It was a gift from the gods. It was perfect... till she slapped me in the face and then it was over. She looked at me with digust. She then turned around and walked away saying to never come near her again. I would always do what she asks of me. So I did. I haven't talk to her or her to me in what felt like a life-time. It broke my heart. I should never have kissed her. So I just sit and stare at her with her "cool kids" friends and laugh and smile at them. Standing next to her football star boyfriend with her hair in a ponytail. I all alone sitting and watching her. I continue to fall. I can never get over her. She controls me and my fate. She looks over at me for a second but I saw. She looks then turns away. I know she thinks about that kiss. It was her first time too. I know because before it happened she use to tell me everything. She was never kissed before. And she also knows that it was my first too. I told her I wanted mine with the one I loved with all my being.
When no one but me looking I see her thinking. I wonder what it is that she thinks about. Is it the kiss. Is it about what she said to me that day. Or is it just what would she do with her boyfriend during the weekend. At times she looks sad too. No one sees it but me. Not her boyfriend. Not her "cool kids" friends. They don't know her like I do. They don't know that when theres a storm she hides and crys until either it's over or I come to her and protects her till she calms down enough to sleep throught the storm. The news said that there will be a big one tonight. I sit and wonder who will be there for her tonight.
She turns and looks at me again. Thats twice today. I'm shocked. She only looks at me at least onces a week. Then she'll continues to ignore me. But today was different. She looked twice. What does that mean? She continues to look at me far longer than she always does. She turns away. But it was for a minute till again a third time. She looks so sad. Why does she look so sad? She's standing there among her "cool kids" friends and her football star boyfriend. Why would she look sad when she has everything she ever wanted? She walks away from her football star boyfriend and her "cool kids" friends and starts to walk over to where I sat and stared at her. I cant' move. I can't breathe. She's coming over to me! Tears are coming down her face now. Why is she crying? I wanted to wipe away all her tears. But I can't. She said not to go near her again. So I just sit there watching her walk up to me. She just stands there staring back at me. Tears still falling down. She holds her hand out to me and says "Come back to me." I always did what she wanted to. I brought my hand to hers. She took my hand and pulled me up to her. And we walk away together. Still holding hands. Her football star boyfriend, her "cool kids" friends just stand there staring at us walk away.
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