Story: Movie Reviews (all chapters)

Authors: Rhanar Narra-Jar

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Chapter 1

Title: Nightmare on Elms Street

[Author's notes: Rhanar, Minyoki and Jiraz discusses the 'horribly burned' Freddy Kreuger's role in the NoES movies.]

[Nightmare on Elms Street]
Rhanar, Minyoki, Jiraz

Rhanar - "To my mind, Freddy Krueger is really an example of man's cruelty to man; I mean, he could have had a good future, but instea-..."

Jiraz - "...Instead he turns a weepy, little wimp who gets bullied at school; yeah, awesome-...
Dude, I was bullied far worse back in Hell; I just can't take him serious!"

Rhanar - "What about when he gets older, then? He begins cutting himself with razors and gets whipped by his adoptive father! In all honesty, why did he not go for help?"

Jiraz - "You know, I've always thought of that myself; I mean, he's kinda self-destructive, so I dunno if he thought of it."

Minyoki - "You guys really don't get it yet??"

Jiraz - "Uhmm, 'get' what?

Rhanar - "Speak your mind, Minyoki."

Minyoki - "First, Freddy's a real emo kid; ye know, don't trust anyone, afraid to get bullied and all that, so he doesn't trust people, so he locks himself in his own world with killing mice with hammers, cutting himself; all that emo shit."

Rhanar - "What about adults? He surely should-..."

Jiraz - "Rhannie, the kid's got no parents; he's not really likely to just go weeping to some teacher or something like that."

Minyoki - "Jiraz's got the point; he's so isolated he doesn't want help, so he just tries storing up all that pain and agony he's feeling and hoping it goes away."

Rhanar - "...And killing mice with a hammer brings him peace...?"

Minyoki - "Ye know, that's one fucked up part I don't really get, honestly."

Jiraz - "Whatever's in Freddy's head, it's gotta be weird; he's kinda like a murderous kid with razors-..."

Rhanar - "...Running around in his victims' dreams, slaying them; look, I can enter people's minds, myself, but I just do not get how he can alter his surroundings so much."

Minyoki - "Tsk, you tell us, Rhannie; you're the, you know, Mystical-Dark-Lord-with-Lightning-Outta-Ye-Fingers kinda dude!"

Rhanar - "Look, all I think is that he uses his mind for it, like I do; the diffrence is that I am not so twisted."

Jiraz - "Hah! You've properly got some angelic little angels flying around inside your head, guarding it; there's sure enough room in there!"

Minyoki - "Uhmm, Jiraz; that joke's kinda lame..."

Jiraz - ".....Damn...Shica would properly have liked it...-grumble, grumble-..."

Rhanar - "If we can return to the topic, how about his victims? They sure react as anyone of us would."

Minyoki - "Well, I'd shit my panties if some evil nightmare guy were after me, so it's pretty damn logical...expect that black chick in the fifth movie; she's so fucking stubborn..."

Jiraz - "You tell me! Freddy had to try and kill her before she believed the others! How fucking dumb can you be?!"

Rhanar - "I think she knew it all along; she just did not have the courage to face it."

Jiraz - "Just too bad she almost had to die before things started spinning in her head."

Rhanar - "Though, even if she had taken up the fight, she might not really stand a chance; almost like those children the the third film..."

Minyoki - "Yeah, the one when they became, like, super heroes in their own dreams? That was a cool change...though Freddy kinda skewed them, anyway..."

Rhanar - "I know; he is supposed to be somewhat immortal, but even if he gets killed in the physical world..."

Jiraz - "...He just returns to the nightmares; Gods, he's no good at staying dead, plus he hasn't got any real weaknesses!"

Minyoki - "Well, there's those three Dream Demons that gave him his power...no, wait, I dunno if they're in his mind all the time..."

Rhanar - "Speaking of minds, you remember in Freddy VS Jason when he entered Jason's mind?"

Minyoki - "Yeah! Fucking hilarious how he made Jason's mom such a bitch!"

Rhanar - "I really enjoyed the fighting; I almost spit out my can of drakegold when I saw Freddy flip Jason around the room with those cheesy cartoon sound effects in the background."

Jiraz - "Hah! You tell me; Shica and I flipped and laughed our asses off at that fucker getting OWNed!"

Chapter 2

Title: Van Helsing

Ah, yes...

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