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One-thirty in the morning on a very hot and muggy early July night came as a shock, and a irritant. This would be a very good time to be sound asleep... especially when your not able to. On this very heavy and sweltering night, I found myself as far away from sleeping as anyone could be.
I listened to the silence of the room where I was trying to sleep, and wished that I was not. I could still able to hear the crickets doing their songs outside of the cabin, but that was no comfort or any help in getting me to sleep. It was actually beginning to piss me off that I could not get to sleep in the first place.
My parent’s party had broke up about an hour or so ago, finally silencing the cowboy symphony for the night. Now it was totally quiet from the main cabin, which I was grateful for. Judging by the amount of alcohol I had seen when I had poked my head into the party to tell my parents I was home before finally going out here to sleep... no wonder it was quiet there. It looked like they all had way too much.
Wish I could have blamed this temporary bout of insomnia on my parents and their ‘shindig’ as they called it... but I could not. They were not in any way the reasons that I was not able to get to sleep tonight... but I have to admit that would have been way more convenient to be able to. Tonight, the blame for me laying here awake and sweating so profusely was strictly my fault.
Honestly it was pretty much a two pronged problem. Intense heat, coupled with my extremely overly active mind were the culprits of my being wide awake like this. Between laying there and sweating like I was doing a marathon, and my mind flashing through what seemed to be thousands of thoughts in one second alone... adding in my confusion of who the hell I was after feeling towards melody like this did not help things
With all of this crap whipping around in me like this...why would I not be layin’ awake like this? I looked at the white ceiling and sighed, as I could literally feel myself sweat.
"Lucky me... Shoot me please!" I muttered to myself, frustrated with everything and myself.
Here I was in my bed, stripped down to wearing absolutely nothing while laying on top of the covers to escape tis heat. Not even my favourite light purple silk nighty could help cool me off while covering me, or even get me to sleep. I was hoping that laying here completely naked like this would end up really helping me get some damn shut eye. I hoped that it would... but it was having a effect that I never knew before.... In fact, it was making me feel... well... sort of horny.
I was laying there, my one leg up and out to the side as I tried to find the most comfortable way to lay where the blankets would not stick to me. I could not find no such way I could stay, as the air around me was too sticky... and that added to what was going on in me.
My mind was in high gear, images of Melody in her bikini swirled in my mind like crazy. I could feel my own sex was twitching wildly between my legs. Trying to ignore that my vulva was calling out to me to touch it with such need, to make these feelings grow and start top swirl was harder than anything to do. I was doing a pretty good job of this for the moment of ignoring it, but my resolve was beginning to weaken and break down.
I had masturbated more than just a few times in the past... but now I hesitated to do it. I was unsure of everything in my life now. Just the thought of doing this was making me even more seriously confused in myself. Would fingering myself while fantasizing about Melody make me an out-and-out lesbian...or this was some sort of weird mental condition I finally found that I had?
I was sure that I was not in fact crazy or anything, that was one thing I needed not to worry about. I was not very comfortable with that thought that I could actually be a lesbian... but I found myself pondering that one. Just thinking that I might really be a ‘gay girl’ was unnerving at best. I was thinking through everything that I was feeling, and still I was getting no answers to my internal questions.
I was scared of these new feeling and sensations, now I was feeling alone and wholly lost with who I was. I was sort of getting a clue of who I was, to the best that a fifteen year old could be... now that was short all to hell. I knew already that I could not go to my parents to talk any of this stuff out either... that was a out of the question thing.
My parents were mainly people of science and logic, they were sone of the best in the world at this... But homosexuality was not something they agreed with. They were not quite what you might call homophobic, but truth be known, they were damned close to earning that tag for their views Many a time throughout my life, I have heard so many disparaging remarks about gays from the both of them... and the way they had shunned my cousin on my father’s side when he had came out, was more of an indication to that..
I decided to not just lay here and sweat, or actually give in and masturbate either. Both decision was surely going to drive me nut. I was thinking that a quick night time stroll would help me stop my mind and ease back all of the attacks of my hormones as well. Letting off some of this tension I had was just the most logical of things for me to do... and perhaps the only thing as well..
I got off of my bed and grabbed my ‘Ozzy Osborne’ tee-shirt and a pair of jean shorts I had layed out for wearing in the morning. It was too hot tonight to try and wear anything else... even underwear would not a pleasant thing to wear in heat like this. Plainly said, I had made the decision to omit them. Wanting to just help myself get myself some sleep finally, it was the easiest to put on and to just go.
Dressed, I just hurried out of the little cabin of mine while praying that this would help me finally get some sleep. Being awake for this damned long makes a long day that included hours of travelling... feel way longer. I feel as if I was up for days right now.
Soon I was walking down the beach that passed my family’s property, under the bright full silver moon that hung overhead. I had just took the same path that I had gone to swim, but was not planning on swimming this night. I was not sure why I had chosen to take my walk this way... frankly I was not sure if I was thinking in the first place.
It was still so very hot, that even with the minimal clothing I had on... I still was sweating like crazy. I could feel the coolness off of the waters of the lake, but it would have been more refreshing if there had been a even the smallest breeze to brush it over me.
" Damn it’s hot..." I thought to myself as I walked, I could not think of a time when a night was this hot ever.
I soon found myself walking around the sand dune area, which was with in eyeshot of the Steelman’s Boathouse, and it was also directly across from the house boat that was Melody occupied was moored up. I ignored that I had just ‘happened’ to come here so near the girl that my mind could not stop thinking about... it was honestly the dunes and the solitude I was needing. It was a coincidence, I told myself as I started to walk through the sands.
These wind swirled sand hills always had been a quiet place for me, and I had take a solo walk here many times over the years... but I had to admit that I had never walked these dunes so late at night. I found that this place nestled in the darkness was even more peaceful than they were in the daytime. I felt this sense of being finally soothed, calmed by the peaceful solitude as I made my way between the dunes and revealed in the complete seclusion I had. Gotta admit, this felt like just what I was needing.
I walked around the dunes for awhile, enjoying the soft sand under my bare feet. As I did, I honestly could feel myself relaxing by the second. After a while of thoroughly relishing the feeling, I decided that I was finally ready for bed.. My insomnia was hopefully cured. I started back to my little cabin, deciding to take almost the exact route back that I had took over here. I felt like I was finally gonna get some sleep.
As I headed back to the cabin though the moon’s light, I found myself taking a detour from my planned path. I found that I was on the dock near the lightly bobbing houseboat, looking at the craft that was the sleeping quarters of the girl I now could not stop thinking about. It was like my mind was on infinite replay.
Even with my mind working overtime on the girl that was probably sleeping inside of this craft...I was unsure of the full reasons why I had come out on the dock in the middle of the night like some stalker, but here I was lurking around like some shadowy figure..
" This is totally frickin’ crazy of me..." I murmured to myself. I knew this constituted doing a crazy thing!
I was just going to leave and end this strangeness I was doing, when I noticed there was a light shining faintly though a window on the side of the boat. I was instantly, although strangely, drawn to having a little peek in side... but for the life of me I do not know why I was going to be doing it.
It was a very low type of light that was shining through where the curtain on the window did not close off fully. Because it was night, I guess you might say that it was sort of human nature that when you see light coming out, you look. I just wanted to take a little look through into the window before going off home... something inside of me telling me to.
In the low light of a lamp, it looked like there was a small bedroom area. The place seemed to be on the very cramped side of things, because the bed that was in there basically was taking most of the space that the room had available. There were nautical styled pictures all over the walls, which made it seem even smaller.
As I looked into the room, I was sort of shocked to see that there was someone in the room, and it was clear who that was. It was the sleeping form of Melody that was laying on the bed in that room. She was laying there with this so peaceful look on her angelic face, on top of the bedcovers. Because it was so horribly hot this night, she was sleeping totally naked like I had been earlier before my little walk.
I swallowed very hard and felt myself tense up, as my eyes took in her wonderful naked form that was sprawled out on the bed. Her lightly tanned skin was beautifully glistening with a sheen of sweat that seemed to make her glow. My mouth became promptly dry because this sleeping girl was the most perfect thing I had ever seen, her beauty was what I would call flawlessness.
I just stood there and watched her amazing breasts as they slowly rose with each breath she was taking. Even from being outside the window, I could see how her nipples were rock-hard, and seemed to jut up to the ceiling. Lightly pink, they still were perfectly off set by her tan and seemed to quiver in the stagnant air around her.
With my eyes, I travelled down her sleek form and marvelled at it complete beauty. The girl’s abs that I had looked at earlier, were still so amazingly toned and shaped that it made me sigh. I saw just how every inch of her curved her form looked in the low light, and it was so clear that she was very much an athletic person by how her little frame was so small... yet still so stunning.
Visually I moved down her body and ended up at the juncture where her taunt and muscled legs met with her body so deliciously. I could see her sex clearly from where I was, and I could not believe just how stunningly beautiful this secretive place of hers really was. Melody was completely clean shaven, just like I always kept myself, and that was allowing me to be able to see the pretty dusty pink flower that she had nestled there.
Her young womanhood seemed to be a little excited as she slept, because it was opened slightly while she laid there. The wondrous flower seemed to glistening with a wonderful mixture of her body’s sweat and her own juices... which made it seem to almost sparkle like diamonds in the low light. I could not turn my head away from this scene... I was now captivated by its simple resplendence.
The little flower I was beholding was drawing me to want to be right inside the room with Melody. I was having the strongest of urges to be able to touch those wonderful breasts that were so round and firm and danced with each breath the girl took, not to mention I wanted to also explore real closely those wonderfully glowing pink petals that I was so captivated by. I was wanting to have that chance for all of this and much more... some of which at the time I had no name for.
I could see all of these images as they clearly swirled around in my mind like a kaleidoscope of pictures. I was having many visions of doing things to Melody that were so dirty sweeping through not only inside my mind... but the sensations were shooting throughout my entire body as well. I was unsure of where these urgent feelings were coming from, yet there were there.
I continued to eye the girl’s sex, and felt my body now starting to react in stronger ways that I ever had before. I could feel my own sex in my jean shorts was not only twitching , but seriously getting wet and was aching to be touched. I also could feel how my own nipples had gotten so hard from the fact of when I would move or shift on my feet ever so slightly, they brushed the fabric of my t-shirt and sent a whole explosion of pleasurable shutters through every part of my body.
I looked at the sleeping form that was inside of the houseboat’s interior, and realized that I had never been so aroused before. It was as if all of this was consuming me into a trembling mass of desire that I had never knew I had in me. Not only was I discovering these feelings in me, they actually seemed to be growing as if it had all been awakened at the exact same time like a dam bursting from a swollen river.
Just then, I was snapped out of whatever sort of daydreaming fog I had fallen into and those feelings were replaced by confusion. I had suddenly seen a sudden movement from inside of the boat, which was the cause of my snapping out of it My mind returned me standing on the dock at two thirty in the morning, and I was now aware of things finally.
It had been that the sleeping girl had started to stir and move in the bed that had gotten me back to the world outside of my head. Melody’s eyes fluttered open and she smoothly sat up in bed, causing me to hold my breath as I was surprised by her waking up. I was not sure if I had made a noise or something while I had been there, but she had been brought out of a sound sleep by something.
Pretty much fully awake now, Melody seemed to be looking around herself as if she was getting her bearings. Suddenly, the girl moved her head very quickly to the side, her eyes snapped over and went right to the window where I was standing. I gasped, and hurriedly stepped away from the boats window... realizing finally the full facts of what I had been doing. I had been ‘peeping’, I realized.
With quick yet quiet steps, I hurried up the dock to the shore. I sprinted across the short expanse of sand, and straight to the narrow road that would lead me back to my cabin before she could have a chance to see me. I did not look back as I made a beeline down that small road heading back home.
I wanted to get back as quickly as I could. I was more than just cautious that someone might end up looking out of their window and end up seeing me racing around this late at night, and then somehow figuring out what I had done, and telling Melody about it.
" Damn was I ever stupid!!" My mind kept telling me over and over again as I hurried down the barren streets.
I hurried under the cloak of darkness back to my vacation home, feeling so embarrassed that I had been acting like some peeping tom. I was sure that she never saw me standing there and looking in at her, but that did not take away what I was feeling. Ashamed that I had been watching her sleep, and horrified that I had been doing that and had gotten sexually aroused by her nakedness.
I shook my head as I entered my little cabin, locking the door behind myself as quickly as I could. I was talking to myself as I readied to get back into bed finally... never again was I going to do this shit. The shame felt like it was going to kill me. The question for myself was now I was how I was going to go for coffee with her in the morning, knowing what I had been doing.
I sighed and hurried off to bed for at least a few hours sleep if I could get it... life had gotten a hell of a lot more complicated.