Part 7 "Sometimes, Seasons Share One Day..."
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Early the next morning, Juri left her dorm and didn't answer when Anthy had said good morning. She went to the cafeteria and got something to eat. As early as it was, there was hardly anyone else there, the cafeteria was only just opening in fact.
She took her breakfast and left, went over to the fencing hall and let herself in, sitting down on the hardwood floor to eat and wait for Miki to arrive. The time they'd scheduled wasn't for another twenty-five minutes though, so she had time to wait. She'd just... she had to get away from Anthy. She... it was like... she didn't feel all that safe around her anymore. Even though, logically, she knew she could simply tell Anthy not to... do what she'd done... What had she done though? Juri went over it again in her mind and still didn't know. One thing she knew, it had felt like Anthy had just... taken away her control somehow... She felt... very vulnerable right about now.
And the worst thing was... she shivered a little to think of it, but what Anthy had done... it had made her feel.... things she hadn't wanted to feel. Some of those things felt horrible, yes, but not all of it was bad though... that's what made it worse. It was just a few kisses really, that's all, she told herself. She'd stopped Anthy before it had gone any further. But... how far it had gone, that was bad enough. She truly dreaded having to tell Utena what had happened. She felt ashamed she'd let it happen at all, and embarrassed... and worried that... maybe Utena wouldn't forgive her for letting Anthy kiss her like that. Even though, at the time, she'd felt so much like she had in her dream, like she hadn't had a choice... And that this happened just after she'd asked Utena to be her girlfriend, told her she wanted to be with her, not Anthy... It was true, that's what she wanted. What most of her wanted anyway.
Part of her though, part of her had wanted to... just let Anthy keep going... part of her had found it... not exciting exactly, just... like something inside her had needed it to happen. Because... she did love Anthy. She knew she did. It wasn't romantic love, not really, but... she was attracted to her, drawn to her. She'd have to be deeply in denial not to realize that she was. Even if, after what happened last night, after what Anthy had done, she really didn't want that to be true.
She knew not wanting that wouldn't make it not so though, knew that from experience. After Shiori had broken her heart, she'd felt so... so completely wretched and miserable, she would have given almost anything not to feel that way. Not to still love her so much and know at the same time that Shiori just... didn't love her back, apparently didn't even care about her as much as Juri thought she had. To Shiori, she had just been a friend, and not even a good enough friend not to steal a boy from her that Shiori had thought Juri had liked. It had been the complete opposite of true of course. Juri had never thought of Shunya Kuragi as anything more that a friend. What mattered was that Shiori had thought she had though, and betrayed her over it. Not in the way Shiori would have thought she was betraying her, but betrayed her none the less. By being a bad friend. That had hurt more than anything, actually. That Shiori had just... not cared about her, even that much, when Juri would have done... just about anything... anything in the world for her. "...maybe I'm just not a very good judge of character." She said aloud to herself.
Shiori, Kozue... Anthy... none of them had treated her very well at all, she had to accept that. And yet, she was still so foolish as to... to let them hurt her so. Utena was different though. Juri was convinced of that. And thinking all of this through, it made her all the more determined to make it work with her and to ignore whatever her feelings were towards Anthy. Besides, she had no intention of forgiving Anthy for what she'd done. None at all. She'd keep winning the duels for her of course, keep protecting her... but... she didn't think she'd ever be able to bring herself to really trust Anthy again, really feel comfortable around her again. Not like she had in the past. Anthy had violated that trust yesterday... violated her. And Anthy had known exactly what she was doing when she had, Juri was sure of it. That wasn't something Juri felt she could get over very soon. If ever.
But... as long as Utena would forgive her... she closed her eyes and shook her head and decided not to think about the possibility of Utena not forgiving her. Even the idea of that was too painful a specter for her to entertain right now. She decided to just eat her breakfast and try clear her mind in preparation for her fencing practice with Miki. It didn't do to handle a sword when your mind was on other things.
The consequences could be very real and possibly even very deadly if you did.
So she ate her food and made her mind focus on the dance, made herself remember every detail and nuance of her last few matches with Miki. The way they'd moved around and against one another, the way his eyes had told the story.
By the time Miki actually got there, Juri had finished her meal and felt almost as though she'd fought her matches with Miki already.
"Good morning." Miki greeted her.
"Miki, good morning. Ready to get started?" She asked, feeling much better for the comfortable familiarity she felt from the familiar ground she now found herself standing on.
"I am." He replied.
They set about quietly readying themselves for their first practice round. Soon, they were facing off and touching swords. Juri tapped Miki's sword twice, Miki nodded yes that he was ready, and the practice duel began.
Juri kept her awareness focused on her opponent, following his eyes and movements and mostly letting long practiced intuition guide her replies. They started out with just some lighter back and forth as warm up, which gradually got more intense as they both upped the pace a little at a time.
The reality was, Miki was probably as good as her at this if you measured by skill or talent alone, Juri knew that and had told her friend so a number of times. Why she won most of their matches though, was basically down to that Miki just... didn't put his heart into it the way she did. When both duelists had about the same skill, in order to win, Juri knew, you had to put everything you were on the line, hold nothing back, and still have the strength of will to stand your ground and be creative - find... joy. If you could do that, you could transcend skill to something more.
First round - Miki over extended himself, and Juri disarmed him.
Second round - Juri got in close, moved so fast it startled her opponent and he lost his footing and lost the duel.
Third round - Miki was determined not to lose this time and was a more formidable opponent because of it, but Juri just kept pressing him, over and over, one swift attack after another, until Miki couldn't keep up and he lost hold of his sword.
Miki was sweating and he wiped his forehead. He shook his head. "Something's happened with you, hasn't it?" Whatever else was true about Juri when she fought a duel, it was also true that she couldn't hide her emotions during that time.
Juri took Miki's sword and set both hers and his aside, wiping some sweat from her own forehead and turning to meet his regard with an attempt at a smile. "That obvious, is it?" She asked, taking an offered towel from him and unbuttoning her jacket collar.
"When you're that merciless, lets just say... I'd hope it wasn't something I'd done that was the cause." He smiled a little to her.
She regarded him a moment and wanted to confide in him. Somehow though, she couldn't bring herself to say the words. "You're right of course... but... it's nothing I can talk about, if that's what you're offering." She told him, taking off her fencing jacket and setting it on a bench by the rest of their things. "I'm sorry if I was a little rough on you." She apologized, feeling a little guilty for taking out her feelings on him ...it had made her realize something though. She wasn't just hurt, she was... she was very angry with Anthy for what she'd done. Angry in a way she didn't think she'd ever been angry before. It was a... cold feeling, one she felt deeply. She felt trapped by it, and she very much didn't want to feel that way, but she didn't think the feeling would go away that easily either.
"Nothing to do with your date with that girl yesterday, I hope? Utena?" He asked.
Juri felt herself smiling a little. "Nothing to do with her..." She said softly. "She's... she's wonderful."
"...I'm happy for you then." Miki replied simply.
"I just hope I haven't..." Juri shook her head and set her jaw a little. "Listen, I think I'm just going to go grab a shower before classes, alright?"
"Of course." Miki replied.
"Same time tomorrow?" She asked.
"Same time tomorrow." He agreed, thinking he was either a really good friend, or a glutton for punishment.
Juri turned and left then. Miki knew enough to guess at what the problem probably was. That it almost without a doubt had everything to do with Anthy Himemiya. Ever since all of this started, if there was ever something bothering his friend, Anthy was almost certainly at the center of it.
It was troubling, to say the least - he knew from experience something of what kind of an effect Anthy could have on a person when she wanted to, and he didn't envy Juri her position as her... fianc.
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Her alarm went off, playing lively classical music, and Utena sat up in bed and yawned. She turned the music down a little and then stretched her arms over her head. "Morning." She said, smiling a little to Wakaba who was in the bed next to hers, wiping the sleep from her eyes.
"Mmm. Maybe for you." Wakaba groaned a little and then snuggled back up in bed.
"Aw. What's wrong?" Utena asked, getting up and sitting on the edge of her bed, studying her best friend's grumpy state.
"...I hate mornings." Wakaba replied a little gloomily.
"Since when?" Utena asked. Waking up had never been Wakaba's favorite thing, but she usually was, if not morning's friend, then at least morning's good-natured acquaintance.
"Always. I only hide it well." Wakaba mumbled. "Five more minutes?" She asked.
Utena shrugged. "Okay." She agreed easily. "I'll go make breakfast then." She offered, padding across their dorm room to the kitchen area. They had a good room, with a nice view out over campus. But still, it wasn't fair that Juri and Anthy got a whole building to themselves when she and Wakaba didn't even rate their own rooms, Utena thought as she detoured to the bathroom. If she had her own room, then she could invite Juri over and have more privacy... so they could kiss and everything. She was pretty sure Wakaba wouldn't be alright with her making out with a girlfriend in bed in the same room as her. Utena was sure she wouldn't be all that happy with it either. It would just be weird.
A while later, Utena had started breakfast and Wakaba had gotten out of bed and was sitting on a stool at the counter watching her cook. "I love it when you make strawberry waffles, Utena." Wakaba told her a little dreamily. "It's the best breakfast food ever."
"I know, that's why I made them. I figured you could use some cheering up." Utena told her. Besides, it was a good time to make a special breakfast for her friend. Kaori and Chiaki had a music club meeting that morning, so they wouldn't be able to meet them for breakfast in the cafeteria like they normally would. Kaori played drums in an amateur girl band that had never actually gotten paid to perform anywhere. Chiaki played the flute and was only moderately talented at it, but liked doing it anyway, even though it was clear she'd never play for a symphony or anything when she grew up unless she worked at it a whole lot harder than she was willing to. It's how they'd met, actually. In a music class when they were both nine years old. They hadn't been girlfriends like in a couple until later of course.
"You did, huh?" Wakaba smiled, very much charmed by this, despite her earlier grumpiness. She just had to put it out of her mind, she stubbornly told herself. That was all. If she just ignored it long enough, maybe she'd get used to it.
"Yeah, I'd kind of be a crummy boyfriend if I didn't try to cheer you up when you were grumpy." Utena told her.
Wakaba smiled a little at that but didn't say anything back. Somehow she got the mental image of Utena being a boy then, kissing her. She shook her head and scrunched up her nose at that. It was too weird! Why had she even thought about that?
"Did you get all your homework done?" Wakaba asked, trying to keep the conversation light.
"Huh? Oh, no, I guess I didn't." Utena admitted with a little embarrassment. "I'll have to finish one assignment over lunch, probably." She admitted.
"Well, that stinks." Wakaba commented. "Maybe you shouldn't stay out so late during the week?"
"Yeah... I guess... It's kind of really worth it though." She confessed, a kind of shy love-struck smile coming to her lips.
Wakaba groaned a little internally. She sort of really hated Juri Arisugawa right then. Like in a 'I hope she gets kidnapped by Gypsies' kind of way. Even though she felt guilty for thinking that. "I'm happy for you." Wakaba said. Even though it was mostly a lie.
The rest of their morning routine went by fairly quickly, until, not that much later, the two of them were walking to classes together, and Utena was telling Wakaba about her dates with Juri yesterday.
"Yeah, the park was really nice. After we had lunch, we just walked around for a while, you know? She told me some stories about her family growing up. She has a cousin who's going to school in Paris, isn't that amazing?" Utena asked.
"I guess so." Wakaba replied. It was actually kind of impressive, really. She just kind of wished Juri went to a school in Paris too. "It sounds like you had a good time anyway."
"Yeah... we really did." Utena smiled happily. She wanted to tell Wakaba about her favorite part, when they'd found themselves in a corner of the park with no one else around and they'd kissed for a while under a willow tree and how sweet Juri's smile to her then had been. But she kind of got the feeling Wakaba wouldn't want to hear about that part of it. "Her roommate though..." Utena shook her head, remembering when she'd first really met the girl last night.
"You mean Anthy Himemiya, right?" Wakaba asked, now a little more interested in hearing this.
"Yeah. You wouldn't think it to look at her but... she's actually a little scary. Plus, she definitely likes Juri, and not just as a friend or anything." Utena told her.
"Really." Wakaba's interest was even more piqued. "What happened?"
"Huh? Oh, well... I don't know how much I should say. And I only met her for a little while... but I definitely get the feeling she could be a problem for me." Utena told her honestly.
"What kind of problem?" Wakaba asked.
"It's just... Juri might kind of, like her too... not as much as me, she said. She told me she wanted me and not her, she asked me to be her girlfriend in fact..." Utena said softly. "I don't know, I guess I just don't really like the fact that they live together."
"Well, yeah. I mean... of course you wouldn't like that." Wakaba sympathized, trying to think all of this through. She didn't really know what she should think about all this. She knew she didn't like thinking of Utena with that other girl, with Juri Arisugawa, but... the idea of Utena getting hurt, having her heart broken, that was worse. She couldn't stand thinking about that. [Ohh... it's all a mess!] She thought to herself ruefully.
The rest of the way to class, Wakaba was mainly quiet and let Utena do most of the talking while she tried to think of what she should think about all of this. None of it seemed very fair to her, and she had a hard time not coming back to the fact that she wished Utena had never met that other girl.
That Utena was still just... the same old Utena she always had been.
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All that morning, Juri had thought about her situation over and over again. She'd been absent-minded during classes, but none of her teachers had bothered her about it. Probably because they were all a little scared of her, since what had happened last year. It had earned her a reputation. Which she was actually a little embarrassed about, but she supposed it did come in handy.
She'd come to the conclusion that she and Anthy needed to talk. That she just needed to be honest with her and not hold her feelings inside. Even if she ended up yelling at her again, which always made her feel worse. She felt like she had to try anyway. Things were never going to be the same between them again, but... she wanted Anthy to give her an explanation. Any explanation. She wanted to hear Anthy tell her to her face why she'd done what she had yesterday.
She felt like... like she might be too... like things might go badly with Utena if she didn't have some kind of closure over this between her and Anthy before she and Utena talked again. When that happened, it would be best for her if she'd be able to tell Utena that she was sure nothing like what had happened would ever happen again. And honestly, right now, she wasn't so sure of that. Not as sure as she felt she needed to be anyway.
When she'd gotten to their dorm room though, Anthy hadn't been there. She'd known Anthy might not be, of course. A lot of the time Anthy went back there to have lunch with Chu Chu or something, but other times she didn't. Juri realized, she really didn't know all that much about what Anthy did when they weren't together. [Does she have friends?] Juri wondered. If she did, Anthy had never let on about it. For all she knew, when she wasn't around, Anthy could be going into the forrest, up to the floating castle, and doing who knew what... the really completely stupid thing of it was though, that even if Anthy was doing that, even if Anthy was playing these games with her on purpose and Anthy were to tell her that to her face, Juri knew she'd still fight for her. Even then. Even if she hated Anthy completely, she'd still fight. She wasn't sure why really... she just knew it was true.
Frustrated, she headed back towards the center of campus. She had a student council meeting soon, much as she wanted to avoid it at the moment. Those meetings were too important though. She needed to stay informed about all of this.
When she arrived, she was the second one there, after Miki, who was waiting at the table by himself. He smiled to her and got up to pull out a chair for her. "Thank you." She said, offering him a little of a smile as she sat down.
"Of course." He said, taking his seat again.
"So, anything on the agenda today?" She asked.
Miki shook his head a little. "I'm pretty sure Touga knows about the girl you're seeing, Utena. That she has one of our rings. That she's the new duelist from the letter."
"And if he knows, I'm sure Saionji does too." Juri pinched the bridge of her nose. [Who knows what that will mean.] She thought to herself. "I'd really hoped they wouldn't find out about that so soon." She told him.
"I'm sure they won't bother her that much over it." Miki said hopefully.
"I wouldn't count on it." Juri replied, one of her hands closing into a fist. She felt a little helpless about this. If Touga got it into his head to play one of his 'games' with someone, there wasn't much Juri could do to stop him besides threaten him at sword point. And Touga would probably only laugh that off, he was so full of himself. Oh, he might promise not to go near Utena to her face, but that would only mean he'd be all the more underhanded about it when he did whatever he wanted to do in the first place.
And Saionji... him, she could deal with better, but she just hated the idea of Utena having to put up with him if he got it into his head to be a jerk to her.
"She's just a duelist, like any of us." Miki reasoned. "You're the current champion. You'd think if they were going to do anything, it would be about you, not her."
"You'd think that." Juri told him. "But the second they figure out she's my girlfriend, they'll both know that they might be able to get to me through her. Touga, especially, would think of something like that. You know it's true."
"You make it sound like... politics or something. He has to know, when it comes to an actual duel, it won't make that much of a difference. If he angers you, in fact, wouldn't that make it worse for him?" He asked,
Juri shook her head. "You should know that's not how a duel really works." She looked him in the eyes. "The duel is won or lost here." Juri indicated their eye contact with her fingers. "Get inside your opponent's head, make them angry enough, or distracted enough, and you've won before the duel even starts. Touga knows that better than just about anyone." Juri told him. "You know he was the reason Kozue got the idea to come on to me in the first place, don't you? What's worse is that it very nearly worked that time. She wasn't a serious challenge, but after that I was so wrecked that Touga very nearly had me. You remember, my hand was in a cast for more than a week after that... a duel is a lot more like politics than you seem to think."
"I... don't think I realized..." Miki said, some things he'd actually been wondering about concerning what had gone on between Juri and his sister now actually making more sense with this new information added. For one thing, during the time she'd worn that cast, she'd been about as sociable as a cat in the rain who'd had had her last three meals in a row stolen away by a nettlesome dog. (In other words, he'd wisely kept his distance.)
It was then that Touga chose to make his entrance, Saionji uncharacteristically by his side. "Two early birds, I see..." Touga spoke as he came up to the table. "Shall we get started?"
"Oh, by all means." Juri replied, already feeling a headache coming on. If those two had been scheming together, heaven help her.
"Very well then... Juri... it seems you've been holding out on us, haven't you?" Touga began.
She pinched the bridge of her nose again. For Touga, that was being positively blunt. He knew about Utena, and he wasn't even going to talk about the weather first before bringing it up, was he? Great. "You act is if I have some obligation to you. You should know very well, that isn't the case." She met his eyes.
"...fair enough, I suppose." He admitted, sitting back in a relaxed pose with his arm resting on the back of his chair. "But, why don't you tell us all about her anyway, since your secret is out in any case? You and this Utena Tenjou seem as thick as thieves in a matter of days. Surely, there's a story there. Or, am I mistaken?"
"I don't suppose telling you to be a gentleman and mind your own business would do any good?" Juri asked, regarding the student council president a wearily.
"Now where would the fun be in that?" Touga gave her one of his most charming smiles. It's affect on many girls would be apparently making them weak in the knees for him. Where she was concerned however, the effect was somewhat more irritating than it was impressive.
"Your definition of 'fun' leaves a lot to be desired." Juri told him pointedly.
"Why play such games. You're obviously having... relations with this Tenjou girl, aren't you?" Saionji accused. "Do you deny it?"
Juri turned an angry gaze on Saionji. "You're obviously an ass, do you deny that?"
"Wretched girl, you dare say such a thing to me?" He stood and knocked his chair onto it's back in the process, returning her hard stare with one of his own.
Juri stared him down, then looked over at Touga. "You know he'd be so much more house broken if you'd just give him a pity fuck once and a while, don't you?" She asked the student council president.
Saionji's face actually turned a few shades red at that. He moved faster than Juri expected and slapped her across the face with the back of his hand. She hadn't seen it coming and almost lost her footing he'd hit her so hard. "You bitch! Take it back what you said, now!" Saionji demanded.
"Saionji, stop this!" Miki demanded, getting up and putting himself between the student council vice president and his friend.
Juri laughed a little. Surprised, but undeterred, she wiped a drop of blood from the corner of her mouth and smiled at him coldly a little. "If you want satisfaction, challenge me to a duel. You know I'll accept." She hoped he would take her up on it actually. She knew he'd make the challenge soon anyway, and she wanted it over with. She also wanted to take her frustrations and anger out on someone, and after he'd spoken of Utena in that sneering tone of voice, and now struck her as well, she wanted that someone to be him.
"You should be careful what you wish for. But fine! Have it your way! Juri Arisugawa, I challenge you. Tomorrow, after classes, at seven." Saionji narrowed his eyes at her.
"I'll be there." Juri told him, walking past him and leaving. She'd had more than enough and had no intention of staying around and suffering through one minute more of those two. She only hoped her face wouldn't bruise up from what Saionji had done. She didn't want her face to look ugly when she met Utena for their date later. She had enough to worry about when in came to that already.
Back at the table, Miki looked between Touga and Saionji. Saionji, Miki noticed, purposefully not looking in Touga's direction. [Could what Juri said about him be true?] He wondered.
"My, and isn't this an interesting turn of events." Touga remarked.
"I'll be in the practice hall. I want no interruptions, I have a duel to prepare for apparently." Saionji announced, walking by without making eye contact with either of them.
Miki looked over at Touga who was smiling as though he'd planned all of this. Which, for all Miki knew, he just might have. He shook his head. "Is all of this really worth it, do you think?" He asked him.
"I do." Touga said, meeting his eyes. "Very much so, in fact." With that, he got up and walked away too, leaving Miki there by himself. He picked up and straightened the chairs and tried to think just what he should do about all of this.
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After leaving the student council meeting, Juri found the closest girl's bathroom and went in. She was now inspecting her face in the mirror. Her skin was broken just a little at the corner of her mouth, like she'd thought, but it had stopped bleeding. Her skin was a little red around where she'd been struck, but from what she could tell, she didn't think there would be very much bruising. She counted herself lucky. If he hadn't had to reach across the table and had been able to put more of his weight behind his blow, or if the rose crest ring on his finger had hit her wrong, it could have been a lot worse.
It really had been kind of stupid for her to say those things to Saionji like she had. For one thing, she thought what she said was probably true, that that jerk actually did have a crush on his best friend. One he was probably in denial about himself. He'd just... struck a nerve when he'd said what he had about Utena and her having 'relations', which wasn't true... yet (she hoped yet). She'd just wanted to strike back.
Not that she was about to forgive him for hitting her because of it, and she still fully intended to pay him back for that during their duel, but really, she of all people should know that saying something like that, for whatever reason... it was just wrong of her to have done.
She sighed and finished washing the little bit of blood from her face, then went to dry her hands. She'd probably want to put some disinfectant on the wound, so she made up her mind to go back to her dorm. She had no intention of making this school record by going to the medical office.
Besides, she'd decided, she really needed to talk with Anthy. Soon. Maybe she would have returned to their room by now?
On the walk back to their dorm, Juri's thoughts grew more troubled. She realized part of the reason was how... scared she was by this. By Anthy. Not that she felt herself under physical threat from Anthy, not really. It wasn't as though Anthy was going to... rape her or something. Anthy wouldn't go that far, surely, even if she could... or, she wanted to believe that at least. But no, it was more she was scared because she knew how Anthy could affect her very well. She wasn't sure at all that if Anthy really wanted to try in earnest to seduce her, that she'd be able to resist. What had happened yesterday was proof enough that Anthy was in her head even more than she'd previously thought, after all. So, of course she was scared... she still had to talk to her though.
She had to know where things stood between them. There was no other way.
Back at their dorm, Anthy wasn't there. Though she had left Chu Chu by himself, Juri noticed, and the little animal was apparently hungry. That Anthy would be so negligent was a surprise. It made Juri wonder if maybe Anthy could be as troubled by what had happened as she was. Either that or she just didn't care as much as she let on about her pet. Either way, Juri took the time to find some food for him before she went and cleaned the small cut on her face and applied just a little make-up to cover the mild discoloration on her face where Saionji had hit her.
As soon as that was done though, she left to try to find Anthy. Her next class after lunch had already started, she noted from glancing at a clock on her way out, but she'd already decided to skip her next class, and the one after that if she needed to.
She headed to where Anthy had class, figuring Anthy would probably be there. As a student council member, she figured she could pull Anthy out of class without too much trouble. Even if it hadn't been done before, she was fairly sure the teacher wouldn't question her on it.
As it happened though, Anthy wasn't in class when Juri got there. The teacher (rather apprehensively) asked her what she was doing out of class, she ignored the question and left. So if Anthy wasn't in class, where would she go? Juri considered. She decided on the rose garden, knowing Anthy liked to tend the flowers there at times.
When she got there, Anthy wasn't there either though. She spent the rest of that class period searching for her. During class break, she asked around to see if anyone had seen her until finally a girl told her she'd seen Anthy out by the front gates of the school.
Juri thanked her and went straight there. Juri's breath caught a little when she saw her. She was sitting on the side of the hill on the grass, looking out over the town below. Her shoes, socks, and glasses were off and her hair was undone. Her arms were crossed over her knees and her chin was resting on them as she gazed out at the beautiful scene before her. She looked... very beautiful.
"Anthy..." She started to say, sitting down next to her. Anthy didn't reply or even seem to acknowledge that she was there. "We need to talk."
"Whatever about...?" Anthy asked softly, still gazing far off in the distance.
"You know what about, don't you?" Juri asked. "Are you in love with me?" She found herself asking. "No 'Rose Bride' stuff, answer however you want."
"...you know it doesn't work like that." Anthy said softly. "It never has."
"But... what does that even mean?" Juri asked, getting the feeling all of the sudden that there was something going on that she just wasn't getting in all of this.
"...It means..." Anthy said, sitting back and looking over at Juri. "That this..." She reached over with her hand and covered Juri's heart. "Is what commands me." She said softly, bringing her hand up and touching Juri's lips with two of her fingers. "Not this."
"My... heart? But... how can that possibly... I don't understand." Juri told her, feeling kind of helpless.
"No, of course you don't... you haven't wanted to, until now." Anthy told her, resting her chin on her arms again and looking out at the view. "We have a connection, you and I. As long as we're engaged, we always will... I follow the wishes of your heart. If I love you, it's because, in your heart, you want me to love you..."
"I..." Juri closed her eyes as what Anthy had said sunk in. [It's all been... It's all been me?] She thought to herself as she felt tears coming to her eyes. How could it be true? How could Anthy... how was this... it shouldn't be possible, none of this should be possible... "I don't know what to say..."
"...say that you love me. Say you love me the way I love you." Anthy told her. "If you're... worried about Utena Tenjou, you don't have to be. I'll share you with her, if you want. You can have both of us. Wouldn't that be better?" She asked.
Juri opened her eyes wide in shock. "How can you say that?" She asked.
"I love you, I'll say anything... you should know that." She told her with sincerity.
"So... you're just... are you even real?" Juri asked her. "Are you even a real person?"
"Of course I am... why would you ask that, Juri?" Anthy looked over to her and their eyes met and a chill ran through Juri's whole body.
"Because..." She said, looking away out to the view in front of her. "Because if you only... reflect... what's in my heart, how could you be a real person?"
"...at least now you're asking better questions." Anthy sighed, joining her in looking out at the view again.
"So, are you going to answer me?" Juri asked.
"I am a real person... but more than that, I can't really say." Anthy told her.
"Can't, or won't?" Juri asked.
"...Does it matter?" Anthy asked, getting up on her knees and meeting Juri's eyes.
Juri was caught speechless again and Anthy brought her hands to her shoulders and pushed her back so she was laying on the grass. She climbed over her and looked down into her eyes. Juri's mouth hung open a little, but she couldn't speak, couldn't move or resist. Anthy smiled to her. "You love me... I know that you do..." She said softly.
"I... love you..." Juri said back. She couldn't help it, the words just came out.
Anthy bent down and kissed her again, running her hands down Juri's arms and holding her wrists down against the grass as she lowered her body down and straddled the girl under her, continuing to kiss her. "You want this, tell me, Juri... tell me you want me to keep going, to make love to you..." She told her.
Juri blinked, looking into Anthy's eyes. "I... No, I don't, Anthy... I don't..." Juri told her honestly. She still couldn't move, but Anthy didn't kiss her again. She just got up and sat next to her. Juri felt like she could move again and she sat up as well, holding her arms to her chest. She felt... raw inside. Laid bare. She felt tears threaten to fall. "Are you lying to me?" Juri asked her. "Is anything you've told me true?"
Anthy met her gaze, her eyes passive and almost dull. "So what if it is or not? It doesn't matter anyway..." She said. "You should know, the truth never matters as much as people think it does." She told her almost bitterly as she put on her socks and shoes.
Juri was silent as she tried to think about what Anthy had just said. She felt a little like her head was full of buzzing bees or something, and that it was hard to think over the noise they made.
"It matters to me." She finally said as Anthy finished tying her shoes.
"What does?" Anthy asked.
"The truth."
"Then ask me, Miss Juri." She told her.
"Are you a real person, or just some kind of... trick?" She asked.
Anthy moved over and kissed her forehead. "You shouldn't ask questions you already know the answers to." She said, getting up and walking away.
Juri turned away and didn't watch her go. She felt like crying again, but was stubbornly holding herself back from doing so. "I've cried enough over her." She told herself quietly.
Anthy had told her that she already knew the answer to her question. So fine, if she was to believe that, all she had to do was figure out what it was she knew. She tried to look at it as if it were someone else's problem and she had nothing to do with it. She looked out at the clear blue sky a while and just let herself think, let her mind work. "It's a lie... it has to be." She finally said softly to herself.
Anthy couldn't just be some kind of magic trick that did whatever her heart wanted her to. It didn't make any sense, so it had to be a lie. Or, at least it had to be partly a lie. Anthy could... it was pretty obvious at this point that Anthy could see her heart, or something like that. And that she could do things with what she knew. Was it that, was that how Anthy could hold her at her mercy so easily? Or was it some kind of magic? Or... maybe some combination of the two? One thing she knew was that her head was starting to hurt over thinking about this and she still didn't feel all that much better about anything for having confronted Anthy. If anything, she might have just made it worse. No, she definitely had. Now she had two... incidents... that she needed to confess to Utena, not only one.
She felt a definite sense of dread closing in over her. It was almost suffocating.
It was then that a thought crossed her mind. [What if I lose?] She thought. [What if I just... let him win her from me?] ...maybe not Saionji, but Touga? They'd... they'd probably deserve each other, she thought bitterly.
===================================================
[What if I lose?] Anthy heard the thought and it hit her hard. She couldn't hear everything that Juri thought, just some things, things that were about her mostly, but that was more than enough, wasn't it? "Why does it hurt so much, Chu Chu? To fall in love?" She asked her friend. She was laying on her side on the carpet in the living area of her and Juri's dorm and Chu Chu had come over to comfort her because he'd sensed her distress.
Chu Chu replied that he didn't know, that he'd never been in love before. But that if it made her feel bad, maybe she could just do something else for a while?
Anthy smiled. That was one reason she liked animals so much, that they didn't let their woes get them down, or that if they did, they usually didn't hold on to the hurt for very long. They tended to just live their life and find joy wherever they could because most of them didn't know another way to live. Human beings knew other ways though. Far too many in her opinion.
"That's just it Chu Chu, when you love someone, doing something else doesn't help. No matter what you do, you still love them. All the time." She told him.
Chu Chu replied that love sounded like what had happened to him when he was little, when he'd been taken away from his mother and put in a small place he couldn't escape from. Until Anthy had saved him. Maybe you just need someone else to help you like that? He suggested.
"...I'm sorry I forgot to feed you today." Anthy said.
Chu Chu told her that it was alright.
She had realized her mistake on her way here. But when she'd gotten home, she'd found that Chu Chu had already been fed, he'd told her that Juri had done it, and that had just made her feel all the worse for how she'd treated her before.
"I just can't seem to help acting that way towards her lately." She said. "I know I shouldn't, but... it makes me so crazy, thinking of her with that other girl. I want to hate her, hate both of them, but I can't... so I hurt her."
She got up and crossed her legs, looking over at the food Juri had left out for her friend. "It's her own fault, Chu Chu. It's all her fault. All of it." She said. Though she didn't really believe that either.
She felt scared though, she realized. How long had it been since she'd felt that way about anything? But it was true. She was scared. Because she thought Juri might actually do it. Lose on purpose. And then she'd lose her. Lose so much. It wouldn't even hurt, she knew, but sometimes... that could be the worst thing in the world. Not to be able to hurt when you remembered what it felt like.
She wondered, if Juri knew what that was like, would it make a difference to her? Would she stay? Would she keep fighting for her?
===================================================
It was after classes now. Juri had ended up skipping all her classes that afternoon. It was something she normally would not have done, but she made a practice of keeping her grades near perfect to appease her parents, so one indiscretion wasn't likely to affect her academically very much on the whole.
She'd ended up just walking around campus or sitting by herself for the rest of the time trying to get her thoughts and feelings into some kind of stable order. Trying to figure out what, exactly, she was going to say to Utena also. She knew she had to tell her the truth, but how to phrase it so there wasn't a disastrous misunderstanding was another matter. It wasn't exactly an indelicate matter, how to tell your girlfriend that you let another girl kiss you twice but that the other girl in question had somehow frozen you in place so you hadn't been able to stop her... if that was even the truth of what happened. What if it was true what Anthy had said, that she'd only been able to kiss her like that because her own heart had secretly wanted it to happen? She couldn't discount the possibility, not really... no matter how badly she wanted to do just that.
Now she was meeting Utena at a fountain they both liked. As the fountain came into view, she saw Utena with the water behind her and the sunlight playing around her and she was struck kind of speechless by how beautiful she was. She smiled a little and sighed, walking forward to meet her. As she was half way over to her, Utena turned and saw her then smiled. Juri couldn't help smile back and feel a lot better for it, despite the burden that she felt over what she knew she had to confess.
She kept walking and Utena met her half way, moving in close and kissing her as though it were completely natural, unafraid of the reactions of the others students around them. Juri kissed her back gratefully. The feeling was just amazing, being this close, touching her, she wanted to do this with her every day, several times every day if she had her choice. She said a silent prayer that Utena would give her the chance.
"Hi, you." Utena spoke, her lips still just a breath away.
"Hi." Juri smiled softly to her, very much charmed by her.
"I've wanted to kiss you like that all day." Utena said back just as softly while looking into Juri's eyes.
Juri swallowed and backed up, looking away a moment and then meeting Utena's curious eyes. "What's the matter?" Utena asked.
"I have to tell you something... and I really wish I didn't." She confessed.
"Okay... whatever it is, you can tell me." Utena tried to reassure her.
Juri closed her eyes a moment then opened them and met Utena's concerned gaze again. "Can we... go sit down by the fountain maybe?" She asked hopefully.
"Yeah, of course we can." Utena agreed easily, trying to figure out what this could be about.
They went over and sat down, neither saying anything until they were seated and their gazes met again. "I... Anthy, she... um, she... kissed me." Juri admitted.
Utena didn't say anything, but Juri could see her eyes become more guarded.
"I... I didn't want her to, and I told her to stop, but... I don't know, she can just do something to me... where I can't move, it's like... like I'm in a dream or something, except I'm not." She looked into Utena's eyes, hoping for understanding.
Utena looked away, down at her hands a moment. "I think you better tell me everything, from the beginning. Okay?" She asked, meeting Juri's eyes again. She didn't like where this was going, not at all, but she could see Juri was hurting from this and that she needed her to be there for her, and that was the most important thing, not whatever hurt she herself felt from this.
Juri nodded her agreeance and began to tell her story. "It was... after you left last night. Anthy came out of her room while I was having a snack before bed. She was... kind of cold to me, and I confronted her about it some, but she just got up and left, so I went after her and asked her again to talk to me. She... pinned me against the wall... and kissed me. I just... let her, I felt like I couldn't move, or do anything... she said she would keep going, unless I told her to stop. So I did, and she stopped. It was... the first time I've ever done that, told her to do something. Then I told her to stay out of my room, and I went to bed and... cried myself to sleep." She told her honestly, feeling embarrassed and ashamed.
She met Utena's eyes again and couldn't read the look in them very well.
"And, um, that's everything?" Utena asked, more than a little apprehensive to hear any more. Then she noticed something. "Juri, your face, what happened?" She asked, touching her cheek.
Juri shook her head. "In the morning I left without talking to her and I went to fencing practice with Miki. While I practiced against him, I realized how... how angry I was at her, at Anthy. Then during lunch, I had that council meeting, and Saionji was... he said something about us, you and me, that we were having 'relations', and he said it like it was filthy or something, and I said something back, something awful and vicious, and he slapped me, hard, and challenged me to a duel." Juri saw definite anger on her behalf in Utena's eyes at that. "But after that, I knew I had to find Anthy, to... get some answers. About why she did... what she did. It, um, it took a while, but I found her out by the front gates of the school. We talked... I wouldn't really call it a conversation. She told me a lot of things, I'm not sure if any of it's true, really, but she... did the same thing to me again, only worse, harder to fight back against. She... pinned me to the ground, got on top of me, told me to tell her I loved her, and kissed me... She told me to let her make love to me, but I said no." By this point she was crying and wiping the tears from her eyes. She met Utena's eyes and felt just so shaky. This wasn't going like she'd hoped it would, not at all. "I'm so sorry Utena, I'd give... I didn't want her to do what she did to me, I hate her, I want to be with you, I swear I do..." She trailed off, not looking into Utena's eyes and feeling like she'd just... ran out of words.
"It's... it's okay." Utena finally said, touching her hand. There was no way Juri was lying to her, Utena could tell that without a doubt. As crazy as it seemed, what Juri was describing must have actually happened to her. It must be a part of the magic of all of this, about Anthy's curse or whatever it was. Which meant, that things were even more dangerous for them than she might have first thought.
Juri looked up in surprise and met her eyes. "It... you can't mean that." She told her.
"I'm not happy about it, and I kind of want to punch your roommate's lights out, if I'm honest... and I... I still have a lot of questions about all of this. But... you were honest about it, and you want to be with me, not her. That's what's important to me." She told her. "That is, um, that is what you want, right?" She asked hopefully, feeling a little insecure over this.
"I swear." Juri told her.
"Then it's okay." She said, moving in and kissing her. Juri met the kiss and felt a little giddy inside, and scared, like she was going a little crazy maybe. But she held on to Utena and kissed her back and was just grateful that Utena hadn't broken her heart. She wasn't at all sure she'd have been able to take that right now... They kissed for a while and when the kiss broke, Utena smiled to her, a sweet, innocent kind of almost shy smile. "Juri..."
"...Yes?" Juri asked, wondering what her girlfriend would say.
Utena closed her eyes and shook her head a little. "Nothing." She smiled and gave Juri another brief kiss. "Let's just get going, okay? We can talk some more while we walk into town?"
"I... of course. That sounds good." Juri deferred a little awkwardly, not quite meeting Utena's eyes a moment then finding her courage and meeting her gaze again. "Let's go." She smiled, deciding to just trust the other girl and hope that things would work out for the best for once. Despite her obviously very poor track record.
Juri and Utena got up and Utena held her hand out, Juri took it in hers and felt reassured by the simple and familiar intimacy Utena had offered. She smiled a little wistfully as they started to go, then looked up into the sky. [Angels dance on the head of a pin...] She thought to herself. Her mother had said that to her once, that she envied their grace to do such a thing. Today, Juri thought, she understood more why her mother had said that.
While they walked into town, they talked more about what had happened between her and Anthy. She explained the things Anthy had said to her about... the nature of their relationship and what Anthy being the Rose Bride might really mean, and about both Utena and her feelings about it, and by the time they were seated at the restaurant, they were both in a better place over the whole thing. Even so though, there were still a lot of unanswered questions they both had about all of it.
The Twin Tigers was a traditional restaurant with a good reputation. It had good food, the prices were a little high but fair, but it was mainly known as a place to take your girlfriend or boyfriend on a romantic date.
They were sat down at their table, sitting on the cushions on the floor at the low-built table. The waitress assured them someone would be out with tea shortly. "It's a serious problem though..." Utena said, having thought about this.
"What is?" Juri asked.
"Well, I mean if she can just do that to you... what else could she do? What do we really know about her after all? She could be really dangerous for all we know." Utena told her. She didn't like the idea of it at all, and she was worried for Juri in all of this. "...what if next time, she doesn't stop when you ask her to?" She said in a soft yet grave tone of voice.
"You mean... what if she rapes me?" Juri asked the question. The idea had occurred to her too when she'd been walking by herself, but she hadn't really wanted to think about it.
"...yeah." Utena said a little hesitantly, looking down at the place setting in front of her a moment.
"I... I don't know. I... I want to think she wouldn't do something like that, but then, I'd never have though she would have done the things she's already done... You're right though; even though it seems like I've known her for such a long time, the truth is, I don't actually know very much about her... not really..." Juri admitted.
"So... what can we do?" Utena asked, because she was having a hard time coming up with an answer. When Juri had told her everything about the forbidden forest and the upside-down castle and all of it two days ago, she'd thought it was all... this amazing mystery. She wanted to find out everything. She wanted to find a way to go to the castle. She thought, if she did, maybe she could find the prince who'd helped her years ago. She thought: Maybe he needs my help? Maybe I can help him like he helped me? Now though... she was realizing that none of it would be as easy as that.
"...I can lose on purpose." Juri said, feeling ashamed for saying it. She'd honestly never thought she would say something like this out loud, she was even a little worried Utena would think badly of her for wanting to basically abandoned Anthy. For herself, she didn't really know how she felt about it at this point. She just knew... she really didn't want to see Anthy, ever again if she could help it.
Utena looked at Juri in surprise. "You'd really do that?" She asked. If she was honest with herself, that's exactly what she wanted Juri to do.
"...I don't know. At this point, I can't think of what else I can do." Juri confessed, meeting Utena's eyes. "I'm... I'm scared of her. It feels like she's just going to keep doing this to me until I... have a break down or something." She admitted shamefully. Because she was distressingly sure that that's exactly what would happen if something didn't change for her soon. Oh, logically speaking, all Anthy had done amounted to not that much more than kissing her a few times. That's not what it felt like though, not at all...
"Oh..." Utena said. "It's really that bad?" She asked. She'd known it was bad, but maybe she hadn't known it was as bad as it really was.
"I think it might be... it's better when I'm with you. But, when I'm alone with her..." She shook her head.
"...maybe I should move in with you then?" She asked.
Juri looked up in surprise and met her eyes, smiling just a little. "That's forward." She said.
"I... uh... yeah, I guess it is." Utena admitted, blushing just a little as the waitress came by and served them their tea.
After they thanked her and told her their orders and she left, Juri took a sip of tea and said. "...I accept."
Utena set down her tea before taking the experimental sip she'd intended on. "Really?" She asked.
"Yes, really." Juri told her. "I have to try something, and your idea..." She smiled. "I like your idea very much." She felt amazingly relieved too. Because otherwise, at this point, she couldn't be sure whether or not she would have lost to Saionji on purpose if she'd been faced with the choice. Even knowing how badly it could turn out for Anthy... the truth was, how Anthy had hurt her, nothing in her life had hurt as badly, or made her doubt herself so much.
Utena smiled, a little unsure of herself. She hadn't thought it through at all when she'd said it, now she was nervous over it. Did Juri think that meant that she wanted to go all the way with her? That she was ready for that now? Because she still wasn't sure if she was. This whole business with Anthy made her even less sure in fact. "Good..." She said. "Because um, even though she did something... really kind of awful to you, I guess, we... we don't actually know she was out to hurt you or do anything bad, right?" She'd thought about this and realized it was true, no matter how much she kind of wanted to hate this girl on principle. "I mean... maybe she really is just... in love with you, Juri. Maybe that's all this is, and she's all messed up over it too..." She offered. "I mean, it's true that it's a really bad way to express your feelings, but maybe she just didn't know a healthier way to do it. It... it would be cruel to hurt her like that if that was true, wouldn't it?"
"Yeah... I guess so..." Juri allowed, though at this point she had a hard time seeing it that way herself. It did impress her greatly that Utena saw it that way though. She really was a good person, more so that Juri might have believed possible. "We can try it at least. I just... you know, she told me she'd be okay with sharing me with you?" She said honestly. "Obviously, that's not going to happen. I'm only saying, this might be hard on you..."
Utena closed her eyes. "It's fine." She said, though it really wasn't all that fine. The truth was though, even though she hadn't told this to Juri yet... she was in love. And there wasn't a lot she wouldn't go through to keep Juri as her girlfriend. She'd known she would have to deal with Anthy Himemiya from the start to have what she wanted, have who she wanted, she just hadn't known how crazy it would all turn out to be. Still, she wasn't about to quit and let Anthy win. Juri hadn't been kidding when she'd told her it was 'complicated' apparently. "I'll just have to deal with it, that's all."
Juri regarded her with concern. She kind of wanted to ask why. Why Utena thought she was worth going to such lengths over. But she was selfish enough not to. She wanted to keep Utena as her girlfriend, so saying something like that that might make her reconsider was just something she wasn't willing to risk right now. If she were a better person, maybe she'd just tell Utena to go or something, and not involve her in this any further. But that was also something she just wasn't willing to do. "Utena...? I um, I'm really sorry for all of this."
"Yeah... you said that before." Utena smiled a little. Juri was actually kind of cute like this, acting contrite and everything. Of course, she had yet to see Juri look anywhere near unattractive to her, in any mood.
"Sorry." Juri looked embarrassed.
"It's okay." Utena said, looking down at her tea and deciding to take a sip.
Juri watched her, there was obviously something on her mind. "Is there something you want to say to me?" She asked impulsively. "I wouldn't blame you if you yelled at me or something, I kind of deserve it probably."
"Huh? Oh, no. It's nothing like that. Sorry... it's just, can we talk about something else for a while?" Utena asked hopefully. "This is supposed to be a date after all, right?" She smiled a little.
Juri looked embarrassed at that. "...you're right, of course." She admitted. "I guess it's been a pretty bad one so far, hasn't it?" She was a little pained admitting that. And felt more than a little guilty over it. "What should we talk about?"
"I don't know, anything." Utena was starting to feel better now that the previous topic was over. She wasn't looking forward to telling Wakaba she was moving out of course, or to trying to work all of this mess out between her, Juri, and Anthy. But she wanted to have a fun date with Juri now at least. She wanted just to... spend more time with her. "Tell me something about you, anything you want. Like, a happy memory?" She asked.
Juri smiled. "I can do that." She ran a hand through her hair and thought of what to say. "On my thirteenth birthday, I remember, my parents were away and I was staying in Marseille with my cousin Ayaka and my aunt and uncle. Ayaka was fifteen then; 'just old enough to get into trouble', my uncle said." Juri smiled, pleased and relieved to be talking about happier things. "He was right of course. He was called away on business that day, and my aunt was ill with a flu she'd contracted in India the previous week and being taken care of by the household's staff. She didn't want either of us visiting her for fear we'd catch what she had. My uncle explicitly told us not to leave the house grounds and that he'd be back later in the evening, that he'd make it up to me and we'd do something nice for my birthday. Of course, neither Ayaka or I believed him. He and my father both had that in common, they work and their family comes second. So Ayaka said we were going to go out into town by ourselves and we were going to have fun on my birthday."
Utena laughed, already charmed by this story. "I hope I get to meet this cousin of yours one day, it sounds like I would like her." She said.
"I'm sure she'd like you too." Juri said. "Anyway, we ended up in le Cours Julien with a couple of her friends. It wasn't a dangerous place to go or anything, just very trendy, it made us feel like we were older than we were to go there. They had bookstores, cafs, fountains, that kind of thing. We pretended we were grown-up tourists all afternoon until we got tired and went home when it looked like it might get dark soon." She told her. "At one point, we were in this book store, pretending to browse the isles and look at the books, talking to each other like we knew what all the books meant and probably making no sense at all to anyone who heard us talking. It only lasted until Cecily, one of Ayaka's local friends, got board and took Ayaka's book and ran down the isle. We ended up causing sort of a commotion in the end and the owner, an old man with white hair, told us we had to leave. He had this kind of rueful smile on his face, like he could remember, maybe just barely, what it had been like to be our age. He wasn't upset with us, he just told us to go find our parents and to try to behave a little better next time."
They talked like that and traded stories for the rest of the meal, staying late at the restaurant and ordering dissert, taking their time.
===================================================
After they left the restaurant, it was still light out and Juri suggested they walk around town together for a while.
"I honestly don't know what I'll want to do." Utena admitted with just a little embarrassment. Juri had asked what she was planning to do with her life after she graduated, and Utena really didn't think she had an answer to that. Not a good one, anyway. "I kind of want to travel to other countries, if I can. Like, I'd like to see France like you described it in your story, that would be great." She said.
Juri wanted to tell her 'I could take you to France', but she thought that was too forward at this point, like saying she expected them to be together that long. She did want that, but she knew from experience that things changed, people changed. Or maybe they didn't, not really. In any case, she didn't say that. "Where else would you go?"
"I don't know, anywhere I guess." Utena said, looking up into the sky. "It's not really so important to me, what I do for a living. My aunt and uncle are both anthropologists, so they travel a lot. When I was younger, after my parents died, they moved here, into my and parents house. My uncle took a job at a museum and my aunt took a sabbatical, though she did do a few lectures here and there. They're back to traveling now. They're in South America. Sometimes I think I might want to do what they do." She admitted.
"I could see that." Juri told her. Thinking she'd be only too happy to pick up and go and leave everyone else behind to go with Utena on an expedition to a far off land... if Utena asked her to of course. She didn't tell Utena she was thinking that either though. It was kind of depressing to her how hung up she was being over this though, she didn't want to be clingy or pathetic as a girlfriend, she really didn't want that. So, despite that that's kind of how she was feeling inside at the time, she was determined not to let on to Utena that she was having those sorts of feelings. She didn't want Utena to think she was... desperate, or something. Even though maybe she was just now.
"My parents..." Utena said. "My mother was a school teacher, and my father owned a lot of property, inherited from his family. After they died, my aunt and uncle sold all of it besides the house I grew up in and put all the money they made from the sale into a trust for me. It will belong to me when I turn eighteen, I guess. Part of me wants to move back into that house after I finish with school, part of me doesn't because I think it would be too sad though." She confessed. "But... if I did move back there, I still don't know what I'd want to, you know, do with my life."
"Well... it's not like you have to decide today or anything." Juri told her, squeezing her hand a little in support.
"No, you're right. Have you decided?" Utena asked. "What you're going to do with your life?"
Juri shook her head. "My father probably still assumes that I'll find a husband and merry well." She told her in mild disbelief that it was probably true.
"Well, that doesn't seem like it's going to happen, does it?" Utena laughed a little, stopping and kissing her lightly on the lips to as if to prove the point.
Juri smiled,