Story: Strike A Chord, Sing Revolution... (chapter 6)

Authors: Jessica Knight

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Chapter 6

Title: Part 6: It\'s A Secret, Knowing When To Stop...

[Author's notes: An important note for those who've followed this story in the past: I've done some updating to Parts 1-5. Parts 1-3 are pretty much the same, just with a few small edits here or there. Part 4 though, is 100% new, so you'll want to go back at least that far to start reading again. Part 5 is about 30% new I think, and Part 6 is also 100% new, as will be part 7 once I write it. Parts 8 and 9 will have content from what was previously Parts 4-5 mixed in with new content.

I made this change because I basically skipped over Juri and Utena's first date when I was first writing this story, and now that I've come back to it, I just couldn't let that stand. I had to go back and tell the story how it needed to be told.]

Part 6 "It's A Secret, Knowing When To Stop..."

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Utena hurried to meet Juri for their lunch date. She'd already told Wakaba that morning not to expect her to sit with them at lunch today, and her last class was kind of far away from where they were going to meet and she didn't want to be late.

When the spot they were supposed to meet first came into view, she saw Juri was just arriving too and she slowed down a little, then more when she got closer.

"You didn't have to run, you know." Juri told her as she came to a stop in front of her. "I would have waited." She stepped forward and touched Utena's hair a little, their eyes meeting. Utena smiled to her and Juri felt her body react immediately to the very pleasant emotions that stirred in her. Utena seemed to bring out the romantic in her, and really, she was still feeling kind of raw and had some anxiety over the current state of things between her and Anthy; it was weighing on her, she wanted very much to forget about that and let Utena's presence, her touch... heal her.

Utena didn't say anything back at first, mostly because she was busy telling herself it was too soon just to kiss the girl in front of her. "I didn't want to be late." She finally admitted.

Juri's emotions got the better of her restraint then and she moved forward and kissed her date then. Their lips met and Utena was thrilled inside, meeting the kiss eagerly. Their bodies came together and Utena found herself backing Juri up against the wall, their hands freely exploring. Vaguely, Utena heard the sound of a girl gasping and a boy saying 'wow', followed by footsteps. Utena broke off the kiss and looked to see the girl dragging the boy, apparently her boyfriend, away. She laughed and Juri closed her eyes and shook her head just a little. "It doesn't matter." Juri said simply, moving forwards and kissing Utena again, who had to agree with that sentiment.

The kiss was more gentle this time and lasted how long Utena couldn't really tell, she just knew when they parted, she wished it would have lasted longer. They were still close though, Utena's hands on Juri's waist, Juri's hands on Utena's ribs, Juri's back still resting on the wall. "Shouldn't we go eat... at some point?" Juri asked playfully, bringing her hand up and running her fingers through Utena's bangs with clear warmth in her eyes.

Utena smiled. "Yeah, I guess we should shouldn't we?" And she backed up to give Juri some space.

Juri took her hand in hers. "Alright if I pick where we go?" She asked.

"Yeah, of course." Utena said easily. She hadn't really thought through where they'd go for lunch, she realized. Her thoughts had been too occupied with other things apparently. They still were. She was glad Juri had thought of it though. "Where are we going?" She asked curiously.

"Wouldn't you rather it be a surprise?" Juri asked.

"Surprises are good." Utena agreed. "Juri..." She started to say.

"Yes?"

"I just... I wanted to say... I really like kissing you. I mean, you probably already guessed that... I thought I should say it though." She explained a little shyly. And it was true. Kissing Juri was just the best feeling - even when it was over, it was okay, because then she got to look forward to doing it again.

Juri smiled serenely. "I like kissing you too... and I'm glad you said so, it's nice to hear." Juri told her. It was such a simple thing for Utena to have said really, but somehow it was just what Juri needed to hear, she realized. Utena wasn't the first girl she'd been with. Nothing had ever happened with Shiori, the girl who'd been her first love. But since then, she'd kissed other girls. Three, actually. She'd slept with one a number of times, so she wasn't a virgin. But the girl she'd been with, it hadn't exactly been a... healthy relationship, really. She'd never had anther girl who was so open and just... normal with her. It was a really good feeling. "Um, so how did it go, reading your essay in Speech class I mean?" She asked.

"Oh, um, it went really great, I think." Utena replied. "I think Jin's essay was probably better than mine though. He had PowerPoint slides and everything."

Juri laughed playfully. "Well, sometimes coming in 2nd is better than coming in 1st."

"Why do you say that?" Utena asked happily.

"Because it means you have more time to go out on dates with cute girls." She said reasonably.

"I think you have a point about that." Utena replied.

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A short walk later, Juri and Utena ended up at a food cart that was just a little ways from campus, by a public park. They both got curry dishes with rice and vegetables and then bought cinnamon roles at another cart to have for a dissert.

They carried their food over to a park bench and sat down next to each other to eat. "I've been to this park before a few times." Utena told Juri. "With my friends. It's really nice here. And it's so beautiful out today, isn't it?" The weather really was perfect.

"I know, isn't it? I like being outside more than inside, at least when the weather's nice." Juri agreed.

Utena laughed. "Look at those two!" She said. There was a koi pond in the park and they had a good view of it where they were sitting. Two young children, a brother and a sister maybe, had just run into it at a sprint, a hapless looking man and woman you could assume to be their parents chasing after them and looking very embarrassed.

Juri laughed too. "Did you ever do things like that when you were younger?" She asked Utena as she watched the man wade into the pond after the children who were having a splash fight.

Utena smiled. "Not like that exactly... I did get in trouble sometimes though, mostly because I was always wondering off..."

Juri found that interesting. "And where did you wonder off to then...?" She asked.

Utena watched as the man picked up the boy and carried him over his shoulder out of the pond while the girl rushed back out of the pond and over to the woman who seemed to be trying to avoid getting hugged by the soaking wet little girl. She smiled and shook her head, kind of wishing she had more memories like that of her own childhood. "Into the forest, to a neighbor's house, or, when we were in town, I'd just... go wherever looked interesting. I remember once, I had what seemed like a very long conversation with a baker. She was an older lady, and her children had all grown up and moved away or something, but she could tell really great stories. I even remembered one pretty well, about a bird who went on a long journey... my parents found me after a while, and I remember, they both hugged me and told me they were so happy they'd found me. They were never mad at me, you see. Whenever I did something like that. They just told me not to do it again, but I guess... I never really thought it was important. I guess I thought... it was just some kind of adventure, like in the stories my mom would read to me at bed time."

Juri was smiling softly to her when Utena met her eyes. "I wish I'd known you then." Was all Juri said softly.

Utena smiled too, a little of a bitter-sweet smile. "I wish that too." It had been the first time she'd told anyone about that story from her past, but somehow she knew Juri was the right person to tell it too. She felt like her heart was safe with her. Like, somehow, Juri really understood.

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Nanami knocked on the door to her brother's room just as a girl with dusky blue hair came down the hallway towards her. "Hello." The girl said as she came up next to her.

"Hello... and you are?" Nanami asked, somehow feeling a little intimidated by this girl. Which was strange, because usually people didn't make her feel that way. Usually she didn't really care what other people did.

"My name is Kozue, I'm Miki's twin sister. You must be Nanami... right?" Kozue asked.

"Miki's sister." Nanami repeated. "My brother told me about you. Somehow, I thought you'd, I don't know, look more alike or something."

Kozue narrowed her eyes a little then laughed softly. "You're cute." Was all she said before Touga came to the door.

"Well, hello. Nanami, it's so wonderful to see you. Kozue, a vision, as always." Touga commented.

"Hello, big brother." Nanami greeted him politely.

Kozue just walked past him inside. "By all means, make yourself at home." Touga chuckled good-naturedly a little at Kozue's actions.

Nanami looked from Kozue's back to her brother's face with a little confusion. There was something between them, she could tell. She couldn't say what, but there was something.

"Nanami." Touga gave her a hug and she, a little stiffly, returned it. She wasn't really comfortable around him anymore. She'd thought she would be when she'd transferred here. After all, he'd been the only one she'd had to count on for so long, or his letters had. She'd assumed it would be a happy reunion and that they'd get along well, like brothers and sisters were supposed to; and at first, it had been like that, or at least it had been nice. But then he'd told her everything and she'd really started to look at him critically for the first time and she just... wasn't comfortable around him as much anymore. "Shall we go join the others? The food should be ready very soon."

Touga was a surprisingly talented chef. For that reason, if not for any other, Nanami was loathe to turn down any invitation from her brother to visit him, as long as it involved a meal. They'd taught her how to cook and such at her old school of course, but she'd never really liked it or been good at it. In her room, all she had were things that were easy to make. She relied on the cafeteria for the rest mostly. Though she did like to go to the park by the school and buy things from the food vendors there sometimes. A lot of the students here did that. Anthy had taken her there the first time and they'd fed birds at the koi pond together.

Touga led her over to the table and set her next to Miki, who greeted her warmly. She liked Miki, he was always nice... even if she never knew quite how to talk to him somehow. Besides her brother's letters, she had practically no experience talking to boys after all. Boys were... a lot different than girls, she was coming to realize. Kozue was standing off to the side, looking out the window. She turned around though soon after Nanami sat down and when the girl's eyes fell upon Nanami it startled her a little the look in those eyes. What had she done to make this girl not like her already?

"So, you just transferred here a few weeks ago, is that right?" Kozue asked her.

"Yes, that's true..." She said, studying the other girl a little and trying to figure out what she was getting at. She knew girls like this, and they rarely let on about their real intentions. You had to be careful when dealing with a girl like that.

"Have you made any friends yet?" She asked mildly.

"...Yes, I have a friend." She said a little defensively. Like this girl might somehow take Anthy away from her if she let her. She'd never had a real friend before, and she was always worried Anthy would turn away from her at some point.

"Just one? That won't do." Kozue said. "A cute girl like you, you should have lots of friends. Right, twin brother?" She asked Miki.

"Well, I guess so. If that's what she wants of course." Miki replied, having just been silently listening up until now.

"Of course that's what you want, isn't it? We should be friends Nanami, wouldn't you like that?" She asked, gazing at her while resting her chin on her hand held up by her elbow on the table.

Nanami felt a little trapped by this. She in fact didn't want to be friends with Miki's sister, but got the distinct impression she didn't want to say no and have Kozue hold a grudge. "...If you want." She said reservedly, trying to act like she wasn't bothered.

"Hmm, okay then." Kozue said.

"Lunch is served." Touga told them, setting down plates of food that looked and smelled completely wonderful.

"Thank you, big brother." Nanami was quick to fill up her plate. She privately thought her brother should just forget about the duels and everything he was wrapped up with and start a restaurant when he graduated or something. Not that Touga would ever consider something like that, she was sure.

Touga laughed a little good-naturedly. "My, what an appetite you have. Didn't they feed you well at that school of yours?" He asked.

"Only bread and water." She joked mildly. "Sometimes lemonade." Having a sense of humor with him still came naturally from their letters. He was the only one she'd ever really shown that side of herself to, besides maybe Honami once or twice.

"Not even jam, or butter?" Touga asked, playing at concern.

"Only if we didn't miss a spot when scrubbing the floors and washing the windows." Nanami told him. "I missed spots all the time though, so... oh well. It wasn't that bad though. They let us go to the bathroom once every day. Twice on Mondays."

Touga tisked. "Shameful, I'll definitely be writing them a strongly worded letter very soon, mark my words." He told her.

"Promises, promises." She said with a soft smile, still not meeting his eyes. [He's still my big brother, somewhere...] She thought to herself.

"Miki, aren't they cute together?" Kozue remarked.

"Very cute." Miki replied, eating another bite of his lunch. "You certainly bring out a different side to your brother, Nanami." He smiled.

"I'm sure I don't know what you could be talking about." Touga replied, giving Nanami a charming smile when she looked up over to him and their eyes met just for a moment before she looked away again.

"So... tell us about yourself, Nanami. What's your real story? Or were you really such a Cinderella girl?" Kozue asked.

Nanami looked up and met Kozue's eyes. "What do you want to know?" She asked.

"Anything you want to say is fine. Like... this friend you have here, who is she? Maybe I know her." She offered.

"Her name is Anthy..." Nanami said. "But I don't think you know her... She likes to keep to herself allot."

"I know who she is, she's Juri Arisugawa's... roommate." Kazue smile a little knowingly at that. "So, I suppose that means... you're into girls too?" She asked.

"...No, I... I mean, I don't know... it's um, it's never come up." She admitted.

"Never come up... so, a virgin then?" She asked.

"...Isn't this a little personal?" Miki put forward when he noticed how uncomfortable the girl next to him was with his sister's line of questioning.

"I don't know... is it Nanami? Is it too personal? We can talk about something else. I was just worried, that's all." She remarked.

"Worried... about what, exactly?" Nanami asked. She knew she was being bated, and it annoyed her, but she wanted to know what Kozue would say anyway.

"It's just... you know, they're lovers, right? Getting between them could turn out bad for you. Of course, if you weren't into girls, I guess that wouldn't be a problem." She explained.

"...They aren't, you know." Nanami said softly, looking away a little.

"Aren't what?" Kozue asked gently.

"Lovers. Anthy and Juri, they aren't lovers." She met Kozue's eyes.

"Of course they aren't." Touga said mildly.

"And you're so sure of it?" Kozue asked.

"Of course I am. Not that Anthy wouldn't like to be, I guess." She said with a kind of subdued bitterness on behalf of her friend. "Juri's a fool not to see it." She said quietly.

"Huh... well, that's a surprise." Kozue said. "I wonder what's wrong with her?"

"What's wrong with who?" Nanami asked.

"Anthy. I mean, Juri's, well, she's kind of a predator where girls are concerned. Not in a bad way, I'm not even into girls and she and I..." Kozue smiled kind of wistfully. "Lets just say, I get why a girl would want to say yes to her." She said, looking at Nanami with a mild fascination that Nanami wasn't quite sure what to make of.

"You mean, you and her... you were together." Nanami restated, wanting to make sure she'd heard that right.

"Mm-hmm. For a couple weeks in fact." She told her mildly.

Nanami shook her head. "I'm not sure I should believe you." She said honestly.

"Well, that's rude. Fine, don't. Or better yet, ask her. She won't deny it." Kozue smiled serenely to her.

Nanami considered that. She'd never actually talked to Juri herself before. Not past just saying a polite hello a couple times. To be honest, she was a little scared to. She knew all Juri would have to do would be to tell Anthy not to be her friend anymore and Anthy would have to do it. And she knew herself well enough to know that the chances of her making a positive impression on the other girl probably wasn't good. Still, Kozue seemed confident about this, so Nanami was inclined to think it was at least partly true. "Did you know about this, big brother?" Nanami asked.

"I did, as a matter of fact." Touga replied. "And it's true, they were a couple... if you want to call it that."

"Can we talk about something else?" Miki asked, a little uncomfortable.

"Whatever for?" Touga asked. "I, for one, am enjoying this particular line of discussion immensely."

"What about you, Miki. You and Juri are friends, right? What do you say?" Nanami asked.

"Well... I can't see Juri as some kind of... predator. But yes, I, um, it wasn't a secret that they were seeing each other then..." He said. "But honestly, I don't know very much about what happened, we don't talk about our... love lives, or anything."

"You don't even have one." Kozue teased him. "You and Nanami have that in common, I guess. Don't you, twin brother? ...It's cute, isn't it Touga? The two of them. Maybe they should be a couple?"

"Stranger things have happened." Touga said mildly. "Not that it would happen like that, I suspect. Fate wouldn't be so kind, would it Kozue, my dear?"

Kozue looked a little embarrassed at that for some reason. And Nanami felt kind of confused and resolved to spend the rest of the meal staying as quiet as she could.

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"It's this way." Juri said as they walked together down the hallway of her dorm to where her and Anthy lived. She was a little apprehensive about this, about Anthy and Utena meeting, but she didn't want it to seem to Utena like she was hiding something from her, so she'd gotten up her courage and asked her over after classes. Which is when it was now. They'd met at a fountain somewhere else on campus and walked here together.

"You really have this place all to yourselves, huh?" Utena asked, finding it more than a bit odd. Juri had explained it was part of the rules for the duels of course, that the champion duelist and her or his bride would live together during their 'engagement'. (The 'engagement' of it all still not being something Utena had exactly wrapped her head around quite yet. She did want to meet Anthy though, she felt like she needed to somehow.)

"I'm afraid so." Juri confirmed. "It is kind of strange, but the quiet is nice sometimes, I have to admit."

"I bet." Utena said. "Some of the other girls in my dorm can get a bit out of control sometimes... it's fun, but it also kind of makes it hard to study sometimes."

"Well, um, you can always come over here... you know, if you need some quiet." Juri offered a just little awkwardly as they reached the door and she opened it, going in first and closing the door after Utena once she'd entered.

"...I just might take you up on that." Utena smiled to her as they were taking off their shoes, thinking she'd probably have to bring Wakaba along for that if it happened though, just to keep peace. Wakaba was very possessive of her as a study partner after all. Not that Utena usually minded at all of course.

There was the sound of a door opening and Utena turned to see Anthy Himemiya enter from her room. "Oh, Miss Juri, you've brought a guest." Anthy walked over to Utena.

"Anthy..." Juri said, a little surprised by how forward Anthy seemed to be behaving.

"You must be Utena, is that right?" Anthy asked. She was wearing a loose-fit tee-shirt with a pink heart on it and jean-shorts, nothing else. She'd apparently just showered not that long ago.

"Yes. It's, um, it's nice to meet you... Anthy." Utena said. It surprised her a little that this girl had referred to her by her first name when they were only just meeting for the first time. But since she had, Utena figured she should do the same thing.

"Nice to meet you as well, Miss Utena." Anthy replied. "Would you like some tea?" She asked.

Utena looked to Juri who looked a little confused. "Um, sure? I mean, that would... be nice. Thank you."

"What kind would you like?" Anthy asked.

"Darjeeling, um, if you have it." Utena replied.

"Of course. It's one of my favorites, in fact." She said, turning around and walking over towards the kitchen area.

"...What was that about?" Juri spoke, more to herself than to Utena.

Utena watched after her a moment. "She's jealous of me." She said the simple truth, turning to look at Juri who looked decidedly conflicted and unsure of herself.

"...that's what I'm afraid of." Juri replied, looking away and walking over to sit on the sofa.

Utena followed her. "...You didn't tell me Anthy had... that she had feelings for you like that." Utena said, not meeting Juri's eyes.

"I really didn't think that she had... at least... not until this morning anyway." She admitted softly.

Utena took her hand in hers to show support. "Want to talk about it?" She asked.

Juri smiled to her a little weakly. "Only if you do." She said honestly.

Utena looked over at Anthy in the kitchen who was purposefully not looking in their direction apparently. Too far away to overhear if they spoke softly as they were doing. Still though, it seemed kind of rude to do that somehow. "I do... but... this probably isn't the best time. Is it?" She said. "Do you, um, do you think... I should go?" She asked, meeting Juri's eyes again.

"No... or... maybe you should, but... I don't want you to." Juri admitted.

"Okay. I'll... I'll stay then." Utena agreed. [Okay, so I'm obviously going to have to fight this girl for her.] Utena thought to herself. Not fight fight of course, just... compete, for Juri's heart. Because, magic and mystery aside, as apparent as it was to her that Anthy was in love with the girl that she wanted for herself, it was also now apparent to her that Juri returned the feelings, at least in some part. Of course, Juri had been honest about it with her from the start. Or honest enough anyway. It was obvious Juri herself hadn't worked out how she felt about Anthy, so of course she probably couldn't have been much more clear about it than she had been... not that Utena felt that great about finding herself in the middle of this, but it was what it was and she'd just have to deal with it as best as she could and hope Juri would chose her in the end and that they could be together, because that was still very much what she wanted to happen.

Juri smiled. "Maybe I'll regret asking you that..." She considered as she looked over at Anthy who turned and met her gaze unexpectedly. Juri felt a little unsettled and got up, walking over to another part of the room, her arms crossed holding her elbows.

Utena looked after her, then over at Anthy. Her and Anthy's eyes met a moment, then Anthy turned away. Her eyes, the look in them, had been... really kind of mysterious, Utena didn't quite know what to make of it. But... she kind of thought there was something behind it. Sort of... on the tip of her tongue, but out of reach. She kind of wanted to go over and talk to this girl, just under the heading of facing the issue head on and not avoiding it. She decided to go to Juri instead though, because really, what was important to her here was Juri, and she had to be true to that or she wouldn't be the girl who she wanted to be.

"What's wrong?" Utena asked Juri, touching her arm lightly. Their eyes met and Juri smiled just a little to her.

"...she just does this to me sometimes. I'm sorry." Juri told her. "I don't know why I'm acting like this. I shouldn't be." She admitted.

"...you care about her. Allot. Anyone could see that." Utena said softly. "The people we care about, they have the most power over our feelings. Sometimes that's good, and sometimes it's not... and sometimes, I guess... it's probably hard to tell, huh?" She asked.

Juri smiled a little again. "Yeah. Something like that I guess."

Their eyes met and held for a little while and Juri felt better for it, less shaky. Utena felt better too.

"The tea is ready, Miss Utena." Anthy spoke.

Utena turned around and saw Anthy setting out cups of tea on the counter. "I'll take mine to my room... if no one minds?" Anthy asked. Again, not meeting Juri's eyes and seeming like she was addressing Utena instead.

"No Anthy, of course not..." Juri said, feeling bad about it but not knowing what to do. She'd always let Anthy do what she wanted, made a point of doing that. It was funny, actually. Anthy was supposed to be the one going out of her way for Juri, whom Juri was supposed to have in her power, but it had really turned out more the other way around, hadn't it? It was just... such an odd situation.

"Um, have a good night, Miss Himemiya." Utena spoke, not really knowing what else to say. She could have asked Anthy to stay, but honestly she didn't want that. She didn't really like the effect she seemed to have on Juri.

"You as well... Miss Utena." Anthy turned just as she was entering her room and their eyes met a moment before Anthy turned away and closed the door to her room.

"...she hardly ever acknowledged you were there, you noticed that, didn't you?" Utena asked Juri.

"I noticed." Juri said, not retrieving her cup of tea.

Utena got hers though and took a sip. It was good. "So, um, what now?" Utena asked with a little of a helpless smile as she leaned on the counter and regarded Juri a little curiously.

"...we could go in my room for a while, if you want?" Juri offered hopefully.

Utena smiled. "That sounds good." She agreed, taking another sip of tea then setting it down and going with Juri into her room.

Juri took off her uniform jacket and put it on a chair before heading over to her bed and sitting down on it. She had a simple white tank-top on underneath. Utena followed her over and sat down next to her. "May I?" Juri asked, touching one of the buttons on Utena's jacket.

"Um, sure, go ahead." Utena said, her senses suddenly very alert as she just sat there while Juri unbuttoned her jacket and then slid it from her shoulders and sat it aside. She had a sports bra on underneath. She felt a little shy, but also excited about where this could be leading. "Um, we should talk about this... Anthy and everything." Utena said, meeting Juri's eyes.

"...I know." Juri said, getting up on the bed and crawling over to sit against the headboard. Utena followed her and sat cross-legged in front and to the side of her. Their eyes met and Juri smiled just a little to her. "What do you want to know?" Juri asked.

Utena looked down and then up to meet her eyes again. "I can tell you like her, as more than a friend." Utena told her.

"...that's probably true..." Juri admitted. "But... I'd never do anything about it, I couldn't. You have to know that." She told her.

"You mean... because of the duels, because she's the Rose Bride and everything." Utena replied.

"Yes. Of course because of that... it would be just like... like raping her." Juri looked down at the bed.

"...I guess it would, wouldn't it?..." Utena said. This wasn't making her feel any better. "But... if it wasn't for that, if she was just a normal girl... you'd want to be with her?" She asked.

Juri met her eyes, then looked away again. "I don't know." Juri told her honestly. "Maybe. It's impossible to say. I... I don't really... even know that much about her, not really. She just... has this way about her. She gets inside you, you can't stop it. It's... it feels very intimate, between us, but... but I wouldn't say it was love. Not in a normal way at least. Not... I'd give my life to keep her safe, I know I would. But, could I fall in love with her? Having met you..." She looked up and met Utena's eyes. Utena paying wrapped attention to her. "The way we are together, I don't think I could have that with her. I don't think... that I want to." She admitted. And she hadn't realized that really until just now when she said it. That when she really looked at it as it was, in simple terms, she wanted to be with Utena, not with Anthy. It seemed obvious, now that she realized it.

"Oh... so... you..." Utena started to say.

"I want to be with you... I want... I want to be your girlfriend." Juri told her, smiling a little hopefully.

Utena smiled back. "I want that too." She told her. Inside her heart swelled with happiness at hearing that. That Juri seemed to want to be with her as much as she wanted to be with Juri.

Juri, for her part, just felt, well, relieved. Utena had been such a breath of fresh air in her life lately. Just being around her, Juri felt so much better than she had been feeling. It was... it was like... how she imagined things could have been, with Shiori, if they'd shared the same feelings for one another. She felt like... like she'd really found something. Something to hold on to. Like she'd found herself again, or maybe even for the first time. She knew she was still standing on shaky ground, emotionally speaking, but with Utena with her, she felt like she could really handle it. And that was such a great feeling. She got up and moved forwards, touching Utena's cheek. Utena smiled to her, their eyes gazing into one another, and they kissed.

Juri moved forward more and got closer, the kisses got deeper and more serious. Utena met her with equal desire too, and it felt so good, just to feel... accepted, like someone else in the world really got her and thought she was... thought she was as wonderful as Juri thought Utena was. After a little while of just kissing, Juri moved forward more and nudged Utena back, Utena letting her lay her back on the bed on her back. Juri was over her then, their hands exploring one another's bodies as they continued to make out. Juri felt so much heat and warmth just fill her body. Utena's hand came to her breast and Juri closed her eyes at how good it felt. She brought her hand to one of Utena's breasts too and felt it through her clothes. Utena rolled her over onto her back then and Juri was looking up into intese eyes that just took her breath away. Then Utena was kissing her again, one hand in her hair, the other on her left breast. Juri had her left hand on the small of Utena's back, on the bare skin there; her right hand was on Utena's waist, her butt and thigh. She felt like she was becoming lost to this girl and was happy to let that happen.

After a while, Juri rolled them onto their side and then soon had Utena on her back again. She wanted this, wanted to be with her. She started to take Utena's bra off, but Utena jerked a little when she did and pushed her away some.

"Juri..." Utena spoke uncertainly.

"Huh?" Juri said, wondering what was wrong.

"I... this is just... it's going too fast..." She said, feeling a little embarrassed. She wanted to do more, but she just... it felt like it was too soon. Not to mention that Anthy Himemiya was in the room on the other side of the dorm. That aside though, she... wasn't ready for this. Not yet.

"Oh... oh..." Juri backed off and sat up. "I'm... Utena, I'm sorry..." She said, meeting the other girl's eyes.

"No, it's okay... I liked... I really liked what we were doing you know, it's just... can we wait a little while more?" Utena asked. "I just... I need some time, okay?" She asked.

"No, of course you do. Um, this... it would be your first time, wouldn't it?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

"...it's not yours?" Utena asked. She'd thought... she'd though it would be Juri's first time too.

Juri shook her head. "No. I was, there was another girl once. I was with her."

"...who is she?" Utena asked.

Juri considered that. She really didn't want to talk about this. About her first time. But... Utena had a right to ask, she knew that was true. "Her... Kozue. Her name is Kozue. She's... um, you remember Miki?"

Utena nodded yes.

"Kozue is his twin sister." Juri said, meeting Utena's eyes again.

"And you two..." Utena trailed off, feeling a little uncertain about whether she wanted to know this or not.

"We did." Juri said. "I was... we were together for a few weeks last semester."

"Were you um, were you in love with her?" Utena asked.

Juri considered that. "...I thought that maybe that's what it was, but no... I was... mainly I was just feeling confused then. And Kozue... well, she seemed like she knew what she wanted." She told her, still having mixed feelings about her relationship with Miki's sister.

"And... um, how are things between you now?" Utena asked.

"I... um, I still care about her. But, well, I guess you'd... have to know Kozue to know why you've got nothing to worry about where she's concerned. Trust me, she's... well, she's not exactly a very honest person, if you have to know..." Juri told her.

"Oh..." Utena said. "Okay..."

"This... it's not a problem for you, is it?" Juri asked, a little worried.

"Huh? Oh, no, of course not. I guess I just... no, it's not a problem." Utena smiled to her, moving over to kiss her again. "I promise, okay?" She said.

"Okay." Juri said, smiling back. "I..."

"What?" Utena asked.

"Oh, nothing. I guess. I just wish I'd met you a long time ago, that's all." Juri said honestly.

"You said that before." Utena smiled. "I kind of want to kiss you again now." She said.

Juri smiled back. "Go ahead." She said feeling her heart start to beat a little fast again as Utena moved to kiss her again.

They talked some more after that, which involved more making out too, which Utena was very glad of. That she hadn't scared Juri off by wanting to wait or being a virgin or anything.

===================================================

The door closed as Utena left late in the evening and Juri stood there looking at the door a little while, a smile she couldn't shake still on her face. She closed her eyes and shook her head a little. She felt really happy.

She was hungry though, she realized, so she went over to the kitchen to get a snack. She settled for some wheat crackers and veggies with hummus dip. She and Utena had made plans to go on another date in town tomorrow, after classes. She'd kind of wanted to see her at breakfast or lunch too, but she had a student counsel meeting at lunch, and breakfast... it just seemed like maybe they could both use a little time to think after what had happened tonight somehow.

As she was eating, Anthy came out from her room and silently sat down at the table with her. Their eyes met and Juri froze a little inside. Anthy's eyes were mostly as hard to read as ever, but there was a definite cold chill in the air between them that she couldn't ignore. "We can talk... if you want?" Juri offered a little hesitantly.

"...what's there to talk about?" Anthy said softly, taking a piece of celery to eat, though she didn't seem to have much of an appetite.

"...Isn't that obvious?" Juri asked.

"I'm not sure what you could mean, Miss Juri." Anthy said. "If I've done something to displease you...?" She offered.

Juri shook her head in denial a little, eyes momentarily closed. "I think I've done something  to displease you, haven't I?" She asked.

Anthy was silent, she just met Juri's eyes in that usual inscrutable way of hers.

"Anthy..." Juri said, looking down at the table a moment before meeting her roommate's eyes again. "If you have feelings for me, you can tell me so. You... you can tell me anything." She told her.

"...that's very nice of you, Miss Juri." Anthy said simply, seeming to consider what to say next. "I think... that I'll just go to bed now though, if it's all the same to you?" She asked.

"Anthy, I..." Juri closed her eyes and felt a little of a headache coming on. "No, fine, do whatever you want." She waved her off and turned in her chair to look away.

"As you wish, Miss Juri." Anthy said, setting down her half-eaten celery stick and getting up from the table.

Juri felt frustrated and got up. "Anthy..." She started to say.

"Yes, Miss Juri?" Anthy turned around and regarded her from where the kitchen tile bordered the living room carpet.

Juri walked over to her. "I don't like having things be like this between us..." Juri said, feeling a little helpless. "I mean, isn't there something I can say... something that..." her words trialed off as Anthy turned and walked away. Juri followed her. "Anthy, please..."

Before she knew it though, Juri found herself with her back against the wall, her wrists pinned to that wall by Anthy's, Anthy's eyes looking into hers with an intensity that scared her a little. "Please what?" Anthy asked, moving closer to her.

"Anthy..." Juri spoke her name, feeling caught and frozen, unable to really think. The way Anthy was looking at her, looking into her, she felt just... completely helpless.

"Juri... you wanted me to call you that, didn't you? Not 'Miss Juri', only... Juri." Anthy said, coming closer still. "Noble Juri, always protecting me... I could make you so happy. You want me to, you'd never ask, but... I know you want this."

And then Anthy kissed her. Demanding, possessive... and exciting too. It all happened before Juri could even really process what was going on, but when she realized, really realized what Anthy was doing, she shook her head and broke away from the kiss. "Anthy... wh... why are you doing this?" Juri asked, still feeling... scared, somehow.

"Because... it's what you want, isn't it? Otherwise, you'd tell me to stop... but you don't, you never do... why won't you tell me to stop?" She asked, nuzzling her face into Juri's hair, brushing her cheek against hers, lightly kissing her neck, then nipping at her ear a little.

Juri was just... stunned. She'd never have thought Anthy would... would do something like this to her... "...Stop." She said. "Anthy just... just stop." Juri spoke the first command she'd ever given Anthy aloud.

Anthy let her go then and backed up a step. "Whatever you want, Juri." Anthy said.

"...why did you... why Anthy? Why make me..." Juri looked away from Anthy's serene looking eyes and just walked away to her room. She stopped though and turned around to look at Anthy. "Don't come into my room again Anthy, not unless I invite you." She said, then turned and went into her room.

"...I won't... Pleasant dreams..." She barely heard Anthy's reply as she closed the door.

She went over to her bed and lay down on the pillows on her side and started to cry. She couldn't stop, she just cried and wished it hadn't happened... wished Utena had never left. Wished a lot of things, really. Even though she knew very well that wishing things never made a difference.

Mostly though, she wanted to know why. Why Anthy had done that to her. She... she never would have thought Anthy would do something like that... it didn't make any sense to her...

None at all...

===================================================

To be continued...

[End notes: There's quite a few stories I'm writing, not all posted online yet; let me know if you like this one and want me to keep updating it. The stories that receive the most feedback are likely to be the ones I update most often.

In addition to positive feedback, constructive criticism, requests for what you'd like to see happen next, or just general comments are all completely welcome.

wishing you all the best,
Jess27]

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