Part 5 "The Truth, Once Spoken, Is A Requiem..."
===================================================
Juri found herself alone at a ball, sitting in a chair and sipping sparkling water. She was in her student council uniform and was absently watching Anthy and Miki dance. Anthy was in a beautiful dress, and Miki looked very dashing, but she was bored with it. She wasn't supposed to be here alone, she'd made a date with Shiori, but Shiori had just... she'd been stood up, and it left her feeling kind of numb - like there was no point to it, or if there was she didn't know what it could be.
Anthy parted with her dance partner once the song was over and Juri saw Anthy walking towards her as the next song began. Her roommate came up to her and held out her hand, and though Juri didn't want to, she none the less silently took Anthy's offered hand and let the other girl lead her out to the dance floor where they started to dance. Juri couldn't break eye contact, Anthy was smiling to her in that serene yet enigmatic way she had about her. She couldn't help wondering if either of them had a choice but to dance as they were. It certainly didn't seem like she had one at least - whether Anthy did, she considered, she would probably never know.
"Why are we dancing?" Juri found herself asking softly.
"It's a dance, Miss Juri. What else should we do?" Anthy asked back curiously.
"...I'm... not sure, really." Juri replied honestly.
"You can kiss me... if you like. I'm not sure why you haven't already... you obviously want to sometimes." Anthy observed.
"...you know why I can't, Anthy." Juri told her.
"...That doesn't seem very fair, does it?" Anthy told her. "What if we're really both very much in love? Could you even tell? The state that other girl left you in?" She asked.
"...I'm not in love with you, Anthy. Love isn't like that... it's not like this." She insisted.
"What is it like then?" Anthy asked. Though suddenly it wasn't Anthy at all, but Utena Tenjou she was dancing with. "Is it like this?" Utena asked softly, moving closer and touching her cheek, her breath close enough to feel on her lips. Her scent, her warmth, the energy between them...
Juri couldn't help it, she kissed her, she was back on the steps of Utena's dorm, kissing her again. Only this time, she didn't stop, and Utena didn't seem to want her to. She pushed Utena back and they fell into bed. They were in her bed now, not the one at Ohtori, but the one in her family's home that she'd grown up with. It was spring outside, just like that day during summer she'd come here with Shiori and wished so much she could be doing this with her.
They were taking each other's clothes off, Utena smiling to her in that way she did, and Juri kissed her again, hungry to be closer to this girl, get lost in her, never be found again. She was kissing her collar bone, her neck, and then she was on her back and Utena was doing that to her.
Utena's eyes found hers and they possessed her. "I want to make love to you, Juri. Let me?" She asked softly, stroking one of her breasts gently.
"...I'm yours, I promise." Juri told her.
Utena just smiled but didn't say anything back, just kissed her, her tongue invading Juri's mouth, demanding but so gentle somehow.
And then Utena's mouth was at her nipple, licking, nipping, then sucking... it was driving her wild. "Yes..." Juri said softly. "Yes, lover, oh yes..." It felt so good, so right, like she'd been waiting for this. She somehow knew it wasn't real though, in the background of her awareness, in a vague way, she knew it was just a dream, but she didn't want it to stop, so she just ignored that truth and settled for the sweet illusion of her apparently lustful imagination.
Then Utena's eyes were on hers again, and there was no need for words. She felt Utena's hand move in and up her inner thigh, brush over and slightly press into that most precious part of her anatomy. Shivers of emotion flared through her, and she felt herself grow weaker with need.
Her eyes grew darker with that need and she wanted to capture Utena's lips with her own in a more urgent show of passion, but she couldn't move, Utena's eyes on hers just kept her where she was, helpless.
As they moved together, soft moans and sounds of need escaped from her lips. She breathlessly spoke Utena's name, once, twice, then again. Their bodies were pressing into one another, Juri held onto Utena's back, caressed the skin there, and just let herself be taken... let herself be loved.
Utena's fingers inside were driving her on, making her cry out. And her eyes, so soft and sure and just... good. That's what it was, she realized as she reached her climax. Utena was just such a good person, wasn't she? Just being around her, you could feel it... It was so hot.
And then thought was gone, it was just those eyes, those fingers, pressing into her in just the right ways...
"Ohh Utena..." Juri breathed, smiling blissfully as she came down from her release. It had felt so good, she felt so relaxed now. She opened her eyes and Utena was smiling back softly to her, but as she looked into her eyes, Utena just seemed to fade away, and she felt something in her stomach drop. "...don't... don't leave..." She said, and she felt tears, unreasonable tears, escape from her eyes without her wanting them too.
She opened her eyes and she knew she was alone. In bed alone. Of course she was. "Damn." She said softly to herself, feeling frustration. Why couldn't it all be easier? Why couldn't she just listen to her heart and have that be enough? ...why did it have to hurt?
It was darker out, earlier in the day than it had been in her dream. A soft glow was only now beginning to show outside the curtains of her room, just visible as a barely seen illumination on the ceiling above.
She lay there and remembered. It had only been a dream, but, and she had to smile at this, the real Utena wasn't a dream. She wiped the tears from her eyes and closed them. Thinking back to last night... Utena Tenjou, she'd shown up out of the blue again, at the music room this time. And they'd gone on a real date together.
Maybe things would be different this time? Maybe things would be different with her?
Maybe it wouldn't... the truth was, no matter what else was true, it was also true that having that ring, it would have to mark Utena as a duelist. Did that mean that, one day, things were destined to lead them back to the forest, not to eat chocolate and talk, but to duel one another? The thought of doing that... what would she do if that happened? Right now, it didn't seem like it would, but that didn't mean it wouldn't happen.
Was destiny real? Was it just... chance? Or was someone or something out there orchestrating all of this? And if there was some kind of game being played, could she win? Could she overturn the board or change the rules somehow? What did it mean?
And what did it mean that she was... starting to fall in love again.
A prince had given Utena a rose crest ring when her parents had died and she was just a little girl, and Utena had wanted to be just like him. A prince who was also a girl. [Somehow, it works for her.] Juri had to smile at how cute and endearing a story that was. It was also undeniably attractive. Even though it was sad too, how she'd lost her parents at so young an age. [At least, he was there for her...]
But even still, there wasn't anything about Utena Tenjou, it seemed, that Juri didn't find... alluring.
It was curious though. What did this kind prince of Utena's have to do with all this? Was he this Dios that seemed to be at the center of this? (If 'Dios' was even a person, and not something else entirely.) Was he connected to things? To the floating castle? To the duels? To End Of The World even? Because that was a very cheerful thing to call yourself, wasn't it? The more she learned about all of this, it seemed, the more bewildering it was. The more questions she had. How could a bunch of duels fought by a hand full of students at a Japanese scholastic academy really change much of anything in the world? Let alone 'smash the world's shell and bring the world revolution' (as Touga Kiryuu was so fond of putting it). It was ridiculous when you thought about it.
She opened her eyes again, groaned, and sat up, drawing her right hand up and realizing it was wet and smelled of her... pleasure. Of course that's how it had happened, she'd pleased herself and her dreaming imagination had filled in the rest. She drew her legs up and rested her elbows on her knees, her arms straight out and crossed, she rested her chin on one of her biceps. She couldn't go back to sleep. Not after that dream. What was she going to do with the rest of her morning?
"...Miss Juri?"
She heard the familiar voice and looked up, her hands falling from her knees, as her eyes scanned the darkened room. "Anthy? What..."
"Miss Juri… who is Utena?" Anthy's voice asked.
Breath caught in Juri's throat a moment, and she then moved to turn on the lamp at the side of the bed.
A click sounded as she turned the switch and warm light illumined the room. The light from the low wattage bulb was soft and not harsh, but Juri still had to blink her eyes a few times before they adjusted properly to the new light levels. Anthy was sitting in a chair by the window.
She didn't have her glasses on, and that felt strange when their eyes met. Anthy blinked once. "Who is she?" Anthy asked for a third time. Her voice was strangely vulnerable.
"Anthy..." Juri just looked at her. The other girl was wearing shorts and a sleep shirt with the picture of a dolphin on it, and her legs were tucked up under her to the side on a well upholstered beige chair that set by the window in her spacious bedroom. By her position, it looked as though Anthy had been sitting there looking out the window; and, indeed, the curtains were open just enough for her to see though. "Why are you in my room?" Juri asked blankly.
Anthy's gaze dropped. "I'm sorry... I'll leave." Anthy demurred, getting to her feet. Her bare feet made no sound on the carpet.
Juri wanted to say something else, but she really was at a loss for words just then. In a quiet way, her mind was reeling. Anthy had been sitting in her room looking out the window at night with the lights out. And the way her voice had sounded when she'd asked what she had...
Juri rested her elbows on her knees and looked down to her hands.
The dream. She must have been talking in her sleep. Is that why Anthy had been there? Had she been.... loud?
Juri shuddered a little at that thought.
And then, of course, another thought occurred as she realized, besides her hand, she felt decidedly damp between her legs. She smelled like sex, it was definitely time for a morning shower.
...It would give her a little more time to think anyway, before she had to deal with facing Anthy again.
She shook her head in silent surprise at it all... Her life just refused to stay even close to mundane these days, it seemed. And it wasn't even five o'clock yet. How did she get in a situation like this?
She considered the dream though, as she rather mechanically got out of bed and set about making ready for her shower. And despite the oddness that awaited her upon waking, a smile couldn't help itself from appearing on her lips. Even with the emotional angst and bittersweet pain that usually accompanied Shiori in her dreams, that had to be just about the best dream she'd ever had... she couldn't remember it all completely of course, but she could remember enough, and vividly so.
She set the water to running and set a few more morning shower related items in their needed places. She'd never figure Anthy out, she told herself. [She's not my girlfriend. She never has been. I'm not going to let her do it to me this time. I had a great time with Utena last night. It was fun. It was me, actually going on a real, normal date with someone that I really like, who likes me in return, and not feeling like my life is a soap opera with a bad punch line for once. I will enjoy this feeling.] She commanded herself as she stepped under the water.
[...Still.] She thought a few minutes later. [My dream was right about Anthy too, wasn't it…] She couldn't help the mix of emotions that the other girl had stirred in her. [...I do have feelings for her. I never know what they are exactly... but she knows I have them. I know she does.]
Her emotions turned decidedly towards anger and her hands formed into fists. [I swear, if this is her just playing with me again for some reason I'll never know, I'm not going to forgive her this time.] Juri thought darkly.
===================================================
It was some time later when Juri finally emerged from her room. Her feet were bare, her hair was mostly dry, and she wore a pair of faded blue jeans and a simple button up dress shirt that wasn't tucked in or buttoned at the cuffs or at the first two buttons at her collar.
She looked around the living room, dining, and kitchen areas of their shared dorm appartment (the three areas were really one big, open room, actually). Everything was neat and orderly as usual. Neither her nor Anthy cared for a mess, though Anthy was by far more obsessive about it. There was tea water set to warm. There was Anthy's bedroom door, open by only a crack with no light coming from within. And there was Anthy.
Juri had known where she was in the room immediately, by the sounds. The other girl was sitting on the carpeted floor over by a wall. She was dressed, very cutely to Juri's eyes, in a pair of light blue jean overalls, the legs of which only came to mid thigh. She was wearing the white tee shirt with the dolphin on it and white socks that had a flower pattern on them in the stitching. She was playing some sort (Juri didn't really know what sort) of game with Chu Chu.
Anthy had spoken to him a few times, and Chu Chu had made little animal noises in reply. It really looked like the two understood one another. But Anthy was always like that with her pet. So open and honest with herself. Juri couldn't help the charmed smile that came to her lips at seeing the sight.
But it was a smile that didn't last. Anthy hadn't even looked in her direction when she'd entered the room, though Juri knew Anthy must have noticed it.
So she made up her mind and went over to the stove to check on the hot water. "Would you two like some tea?" She asked, without looking over to them.
"Chu!" Juri smiled at the characteristic squeak Chu Chu made. There was no reply from Anthy though, and Juri looked over to see the other girl looking at her with a question in her eyes.
"We can talk." Juri offered. "While we drink the tea?" She asked with a hopeful smile.
Anthy looked down at the floor a moment, then back up to meet Juri's eyes, a tentative smile now returned. "At the table?" She asked.
"If you like... I can come over to you though, if you want?" Juri didn't mind sitting on the floor. And she didn't mind Chu Chu at all either. She actually kind of liked the little pet animal in fact. She hadn't thought she would, but she did. It had a lot to do with the fact that Chu Chu had liked her first though, and that the fact that he had, had seemed to improve Anthy's estimation and opinion of her by a wide margin.
"Okay..." Anthy said the word softly, bringing her legs up against her as she moved to set her back against the wall and watch Juri as she poured the tea.
Juri took her time, and Anthy kept her eyes fastened on her as she walked over to her. Juri took care not to spill the tea on the tray as she crossed her legs and sat down a couple feet from Anthy. "Mm, here we go." Juri said, setting the tray to the side.
Anthy sat forward and sat with her legs crossed, imitating Juri's position. She accepted the cup of tea her companion offered her and took a small sip to test the temperature while she watched with interest as Juri presented Chu Chu with his cup of tea as well.
"Chu..." Chu Chu said as he went over to the cup, eyes serious, and took a sip. "Chu Chu!" Chu Chu seemed to like the tea, though he obviously considered it a bit on the hot side yet.
"I think he likes the tea." Juri said.
Anthy smiled fondly.
"What did you hear?" Juri asked the uncomfortable question.
Anthy looked down at her cup. "It doesn't really matter, does it?" She said.
"...No, I guess it doesn't." Juri allowed. "Her full name is Utena Tenjou. I met her during lunch yesterday. And we had dinner and went on a walk together last night. We talked."
"And you like her." Anthy said, looking into Juri's eyes.
"And I like her." Juri replied softly, not wanting to lie.
"...I see." Anthy said.
"Is that... A problem for you?" Juri asked, at once knowing she hadn't asked the question right.
"Of course not. You should do as you wish, Miss Juri." Anthy said, not meeting her eyes.
"Anthy..." Juri felt that familiar feeling of helplessness. She could order Anthy to tell her the truth, but then she knew she couldn't really do that. "You deserve to do as you wish too." Was all she could think of to say. She'd thought of the obvious thing when they'd first moved in together of course, and asked Anthy if commanding her to do whatever she wanted to would work. Anthy had said no, that things just... didn't work that way.
Anthy looked up, this time her eyes meeting Juri's. And the smile on her face, it was like the real Anthy showing herself, just for a moment. Like what happened when she was talking with Chu Chu or something, only even a little bit more. "The tea is very good, you know?" Anthy said, looking back down at the tea.
"Thank you." Juri said, a little stunned by what just happened. Anthy had never looked at her like that before. It threw everything Juri was so sure of about her enigmatic dorm mate off kilter once again. She found herself laughing just a little, but it was a kind laugh, the kind that makes you smile when you hear it. Juri brought one of her legs up, bent at the knee, and rested her forearm on her knee, her chin on her forearm. "You have a really nice smile, you know that?" Juri told her, her voice wistful.
Anthy looked up again, a questioning look on her face, and then she smiled, a very cute, endearing, kind of almost lost looking smile. "You as well." Was all she said, getting to her feet. "I think I'd like to go in my room now. If you don't mind?"
"Oh..." Juri's eyes followed her. "No, of course not."
Juri watched as Anthy took her cup of tea and retreated back into her bedroom, the door closing almost soundlessly behind her.
Juri looked down at Chu Chu next, who was still working at his tea. Blowing on it to cool it and then taking another sip. "Ah." Chu Chu said, after taking another drink.
"Like it, huh?" Juri asked.
"Chu?" Chu Chu looked up at her in question.
"So what do you think about that, Chu Chu?" Juri pondered out loud. "Does she really have feelings for me after all?" She asked.
"Chu..." Chu Chu looked like he was seriously contemplating the issue, but also didn't appear to be indicating if he knew either way.
"Hm." Juri laughed a little. "Me either." She said, turning and taking a seat against the wall where Anthy had sat, stretching one leg out before her, the other one raised half way. She looked at Anthy's door.
[What next...] She wondered. She realized then of course, that she'd, at least partly, looked at Anthy as someone... larger than life. Like, just underneath, was something so out of reach. Someone she'd never really know at all. Someone magic. Maybe thinking like that about her, maybe that had been a mistake...
What if Anthy was attracted to her? [She's certainly acting like she is.] She considered Anthy's words and actions this morning and had to admit, that did seem like what could be going on. If that were true, Juri honestly didn't know what she could or should do about it though.
===================================================
The sun shone brightly in the morning sky, and Utena blinked back the light as she looked out on the view in the sky ahead of her.
"You really like her, don't you?" Wakaba asked seriously, walking beside her friend on the way to classes that morning.
"Yeah, I really think I do." Utena smiled over at her friend, happily.
"I saw you walking with her yesterday." Wakaba said. "You looked really happy together...."
"...You did, huh?" Utena asked, regarding her friend seriously for a moment. Wakaba had been unusually quiet this morning, not even commenting about how late Utena had stayed out last night. They shared a dorm room together, and they always seemed to wake up at about the same time. And Utena had today too, despite how late she'd stayed out the pervious day. Wakaba hadn't though, she'd been especially lazy in bed in fact, and not at all her usually talkative self as they did the things they usually did to get ready for the day ahead.
"Wakaba..." Utena ventured. "Is this really weirding you out or something? Juri and me? I know it's a big change, and we've known each other a really long time and..." She kind of trailed off.
Wakaba looked over at her friend, seeing a look of self doubt, so unusual on Utena's face, now evident there. "Oh. Don't worry, Utena, I'm fine... Really." Wakaba assured, trying to muster up a smile.
"Really?" Utena pressed, wanting to make sure it was just her imagination.
"Really." Wakaba said positively. "Okay, maybe it is a little weird for me." She admitted. "And maybe I'm not sure exactly how to talk with you, like we used to... but it'll be okay, Utena. You'll see, you're still my best friend, and that's not going to change. Alright?" Wakaba regarded her, hands holding her school bag behind her back, eyes seeking hers to show the intent behind her words.
"Alright." Utena said, feeling much better about it. "I mean, take as much time as you need. I'm not going anywhere... This is new for me too after all."
"Yeah..." Wakaba said. "I'll bet it is." She looked pensively up at the sky.
Utena regarded her friend questioningly at that last statement. [I wonder what that meant?] Utena pondered as they walked along.
===================================================
A while later, after breakfast was over, Wakaba found herself waving a goodbye to Utena as they parted ways to go to their respective classes. She watched Utena wave back at her and smile as she turned to jog in the direction of the classroom she had to get to (which was all the way across campus and Utena was now running just a bit late for).
There was this kind of painful feeling tugging in her chest, like there was something caught in her throat except there really wasn't. She cast her eyes down and stared at the ground as she walked to her own class. It was a lot closer than Utena's after all, so she didn't have to run like Utena did.
She'd tried to cover with Utena, but as Wakaba walked, she knew she couldn't cover up her feelings very well from herself this time. The truth was, she didn't really know how she felt about what was going on with her friend now.
[Why did she have to change?] Wakaba thought to herself somewhat bitterly. [Why couldn't things just go on like they had been?] But she hated herself for thinking those things. She wasn't really as good a person as people thought she was. Not really. She wanted Utena to always be Utena, the way she was.
[It would be different,] Wakaba thought. [If Utena had fallen for a boy.]
[If Utena found a boy, then all I would have to do would be to find one too, and it wouldn't be a big deal. We'd still go on. Like we did before.]
Wakaba looked up at the sky as she walked. [I mean, what do I even know about this girl? She likes to fight with swords? She has blow up arguments with her roommate who is not really her girlfriend but it's still complicated and Utena won't say how... and Utena likes her more than me.]
She felt crushing despair at that thought. Not just because she was starting to really think it was true, but because she hated herself for thinking that in the first place. [It's not fair!] She cried to herself, her hands balling into fists.
She pounded one against the wall, only lightly, and she leaned there on her closed hand a moment before she pulled her feelings together and walked into class.
One girl gave her a strange look, but other than that, no one really noticed her.
===================================================
Anthy had stayed in her room until Juri had left for her early morning practice session with Miki... Juri hadn't pushed things, she'd just said through the door that she was leaving and wished Anthy a good day...
Inside the room though, Anthy stood leaning her hands on the trellis on the small patio, looking out into the morning sky. Juri had surprised her. She wasn't like anyone else - Juri was one of the special ones, Anthy had known that before they'd even met. But the truth of her own heart was always elusive, where the truth in the hearts of others was always all too clear to her. It hadn't always been that way, she vaguely remembered. But that's the way it was now. And it would be until it wasn't again.
It wasn't always easy, it seemed, being her.
She didn't want to be alone anymore.... But she wasn't alone. She had friends. She had Chu Chu... and she had someone else, too.
And so it was, a short walk to another dorm building on campus later, that Anthy could be found on a particular doorstep knocking on a particular door that she had knocked on precisely two times before.
"Who is it?" She heard a voice from inside call. "I'll be right there."
Anthy didn't answer and the door opened.
"Oh, it's you!" Nanami Kiryuu's face brightened into a delighted and happy smile at the sight of her friend. "Come on in. I'm glad you're here." She said with quiet emotion in her voice.
"Thank you." Anthy said, looking into Nanami's eyes.
"Anthy?" Nanami questioned. "What is it?"
Anthy surprised her by moving forwards and falling into hugging her. "Oh, Nanami." She said softly.
Caught without an idea of what to do for a moment, Nanami none-the-less quickly wrapped her arms gently around the other girl, leaning her head on Anthy's. "Anthy... what's wrong."
"Nothing. I'm just glad you're here." Anthy said, her voice sounding small.
"I'm always here." Nanami said softly. "Come on, lets sit down. We can talk. Or... or we can just sit together. Whatever you want, okay?"
"Okay..." They walked inside, Nanami holding one of Anthy's hands in both of hers. Anthy couldn't help but smile a little as she caught her friend's eyes with her own.
"Can I get you something to drink? Or are you hungry?" Nanami questioned, kneeling on the floor before her friend who she'd sat on the sofa. "I think I still have some things I could fix for you without too much trouble... Noodle soup at least."
"Oh... Well... I guess I did forget to have breakfast this morning.... I did have tea though." Anthy looked down at her hands.
"Alright, I'll... I'll be right back then. You just stay here, okay?"
"Okay." Anthy smiled to her, though her eyes were looking a little lost.
Nanami spent just a small moment simply appreciating that smile, then she went into the kitchen when Anthy looked down and moved to get comfortable, tucking her legs together up under her and scooting to the corner of the sofa.
Nanami worked quickly, getting the water in the pan and following the instructions on the instant noodles package. She'd also remembered she had some bagels and some kind of cream cheese, so she'd need to get those too. Maybe toast the bagels? She tried to keep busy sometimes, living alone like she did, but this was different. Anthy was important.
It had been only twenty days now since she'd come to live at Ohtori Academy. Before that, she'd been at a private boarding school for girls of a certain social status on one of Japan's smaller islands. She'd been there since she was a little girl. She didn't remember much about why she'd been sent there... She still didn't really know in fact. It seemed to her, her parents had simply told her one day that they'd be sending her away to live with other girls her age and that they would come visit her when they could.
Those visits didn't come very often, and after a while, she hardly heard from her mom or dad. It was such a lonely feeling... For a little girl to be told by her parents - if not in so many words, then by the testimony of their actions and non-actions - that she just wasn't wanted by them.
...That first year had been especially hard. Her only lifelines were the letters her brother would send to her, one every week like clockwork, and the kind governess who looked after her and read the letters to her and transcribed replies for her until she could learn to read them and write back completely on her own. Other than that though, she couldn't remember having any friends at the school then. She'd been so painfully shy back then. With no one who was familiar and most of the girls being older. The few that were her age didn't seem to like her for one reason or another.
The years had passed, and she'd gotten better at not being quite so timid. She had learned to always be polite and nice to other people so they would like her, but she also felt cut off and didn't really respond well on the occasions that others tried to make friends with her. They always seemed to want too much from her and she never felt like she had it to give - they wanted her to be like they were, or to go places with them and act more normal or something... they always wanted to change her somehow - and she'd end up snapping at them because of it, and that would be that. Over. One girl last year, her name had been Honami Fujikawa, had hung in there longer than others, and she didn't seem to be much dissuaded when Nanami's temper got the better of her. Nanami had even come to think, that maybe they really could be good friends some day. But then Honami had gone home over the spring break while Nanami had stayed at the school because her parents were, as usual, unavailable to look after her. Nanami never knew what had happened, but Honami changed when she came back. Nanami tried, in a clumsy way, a few times to find out what had happened, but Honami had rebuffed her. The last time, Honami had even slapped her and told her they weren't friends anymore and to just leave her alone. Which Nanami, feeling despairing and even more alone, had done.
She honestly didn't know what she would have done, if it hadn't been for her brother's letters. Maybe killed herself. But, as long as she had those letters, she knew, for at least one person in the world, she genuinely mattered.
She'd been so excited that day, when she'd gotten that last letter from her big brother, telling her he'd made arrangements for her to attend the same school he was at. But the way things were now? Just before Anthy had come to her door, she'd been feeling just as alone and despairing as she had at her old school.
She wasn't even sure she could trust her own brother anymore, or even some of the things she'd been taught were true about how the world around her worked. Up could be down and down could be up now for all she knew anymore. Anthy was her ray of hope.
And Anthy needed her now.
"Was it Juri?" Nanami asked, coming over to the sofa and sitting beside Anthy with untoasted bagels and cream cheese and orange juice (the noodles would be ready in a few minutes when the timer went off). "Did she do something again?" She asked, her feelings of protectiveness for the one friend she had in the world coming to the fore.
"She's only following her heart..." Anthy said quietly.
That caused Nanami to pause a moment. "Following her heart? What does that... Wait, do you mean she met someone else? Like, met someone, met someone?"
Anthy nodded, taking a sip of her juice. "Her name is Utena. Utena Tenjou." Anthy explained.
[Juri Arisugawa, you're such a complete fool!] Nanami's thoughts rang loudly in her head, full of anger and condemnation. [How could you do this to her?] Her thoughts quieted and she felt sadness welling up inside her for her friend's sake.
"Oh, Anthy..." Nanami wanted to do something, but she felt useless and... she didn't know how to do this. She didn't know the right things to say. Where maters of the heart were concerned, she didn't know anything really. "It'll be alright. Somehow, it will be." Nanami said, not having anything else to say. [I just wish I could believe that it really will be...] Nanami's thoughts grew more lost as she took a bite of her bagel and tried to think of what else she could do or say to help or that that Anthy would want to hear.
[If only I were a real girl... and not made of straw.] Her thoughts mocked, paraphrasing a movie she'd seen once. About a girl who found herself one day in a world she didn't understand.
===================================================
To be continued...