Part 4 "Lilly Blossoms, Romance In Spring..."
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"Thanks for this." Utena said a little softly as they walked down the cobblestone sidewalk in the town that surrounded the school, holding hands. Utena had thought to go to the cafeteria for their date (maybe it was a date, Utena wasn't sure and wasn't going to ask Juri if it was or not). Juri has suggested they go to a restaurant in town she liked instead though, and Utena, having thought that saying no might insult the girl she liked, said yes (even though she was worried that this might be taking things too fast, because of Anthy Himemiya and everything - she'd planned to be friends first after all...).
Students in Utena's grade weren't allowed to leave campus unaccompanied without getting permission and letting the school know where they were going and when they'd be back first. Because Juri was older, in a higher grade, and on the student council besides, it hadn't been any trouble for her to take Utena with her to town for the evening without getting permission first.
"You're having a good time then?" Juri asked back, squeezing Utena's hand a little.
Utena smiled just a little shyly. "Yeah... I am."
"...Me too." Juri said, smiling a little to herself. It was obvious to her Utena liked her, though she could tell the younger girl was trying to hide it somewhat, which she found cute. On the way into town, they'd mostly just talked about class work, but it had still been completely absorbing to her. She liked this girl a lot too, she had to admit that. She had to admit too, that it was nice just to be with a girl who let things be... simple. Who was just straight forward and honest with her. Who she didn't have to wonder about all the time.
"So, what kind of place is it we're going to anyway?" Utena asked.
"It's called the White Lilly Café. It's not expensive or anything. It's owned by a local family. Simple dishes, but the food is very good. It's, you know, the kind of food that leaves you feeling good after you've eaten it... and there's a great view of the river." She said. "You'll like it."
"I'm, um, I'm sure I will." Utena said a bit shyly. [A view of the river? This is definitely a date.] She realized a little nervously.
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When they were seated at the café, the waitress asked if they wanted any drinks to start. Juri ordered green tea; Utena ordered tea as well, but chose Darjeeling. They were left with menus, and the view of the river. There were white golden rayed lilies growing by the riverbanks. "I guess I know where the restaurant got it's name now." Utena spoke, gazing over at the flowers.
Juri smiled. "They are pretty, aren't they?" She asked softly.
Utena met Juri's eyes. [Not as pretty as you are.] She thought a little wistfully. "They are. You were right, I like it here already." She smiled a little softly, feeling a few butterflies fluttering in her stomach. This was her first real date after all. There had been a boy she'd kind of liked once (more as a friend than anything though), and they'd gone with friends to a festival. Technically that might have been a date, she guessed, but that had been nothing like this. She'd had fun at the festival, but... Even just sitting here and looking into Juri's eyes, there was just no way the two experiences were at all similar.
"I'm glad." Juri said, reaching across the table and taking Utena's hand in hers.
Utena felt like she was supposed to do something, say something important or something. There was this... sense of urgency somehow, in her chest, or her throat... she didn't really know what to do about it though. "How... um, how'd you find this place?" She asked. It was kind of an out of the way spot, she'd noticed that as they'd walked here.
"I like to walk, I guess. And this is a nice part of town." She explained, her voice still soft, their eyes still meeting one another. Utena didn't look away, or look like she wanted to, and Juri liked that about her. Even though she could tell Utena was a little nervous of her at the moment.
"Am I the first person you've taken here?" Utena asked.
"...no, you're not." Juri said honestly.
"Oh... um..." Utena hesitated, a little unsure what to say now, and kind of embarrassed she'd asked the question in the first place.
"The first I've taken here on a date though." Juri smiled. She usually came here with her mother, as a place to get away and talk about things.
"...So this is a date, huh?" Utena smiled, happy with herself despite the fact that things weren't going like she'd planned.
"You don't want it to be?" Juri asked a little playfully.
"No, I um, I want it to be." Utena smiled again, feeling even more happiness and... hopefulness, for the future, welling up inside her. This felt right. Being here with Juri, it felt right to her. Like she'd found a part of herself that mattered... mattered a lot. Whether Juri ended up being the one for her or not, in the end.
"Well, I'm glad for that..." Juri smiled, fascinated with the way Utena's eyes looked. They were always so... just so... there - in the moment.
The waitress came back with their tea right then. "Everything's going well?" She asked a little fondly of the scene before her.
"Seems that way." Juri replied, releasing Utena's hand and looking to the older woman and then back to Utena as the waitress poured the tea.
"Have you decided on your order yet?" The waitress asked.
"...I know what I want, but I don't think my date..."
"It's okay, I'll just have one of whatever you're having." Utena offered.
"You're sure?" Juri asked.
"Mm-hmm." Utena nodded, handing her menu over to the waitress.
"...Two of my regular order then, I guess." Juri told the waitress.
"I'll have your order out to you in a while then." The waitress informed them. "You have enough water for the tea?"
They both said that they did and thanked her and she left.
"That was brave of you, trusting my taste in food like that." Juri said playfully.
"Really? That bad, huh?" Utena joked a little.
"No, you'll probably like it." Juri smiled. "Unless you don't like sea food, I guess." She qualified.
"No, seafood's fine." Utena told her. "...as long as there's no tuna involved."
"No tuna." Juri smiled.
"That's good." Utena smiled a little in relief. She could eat tuna, but she'd never really liked to.
"Not a picky eater then?" Juri asked.
"Nope. You?" Utena asked back, liking how easy it was to talk to this girl. Like they'd known each other longer than they had. That had to be a good sign, she figured.
"Not mostly... I don't like bread or noodles very much though for some reason, or red meat. Other than that, though, I like to be adventurous." She told her.
"Adventurous, huh?" Utena bantered back playfully. "I guess you'd have to be to be, as good at fencing as you are."
Juri found her eyes traveling to Utena's ring. A rose crest ring, just like hers. "We have the same ring, did you notice?" She asked, holding up the hand she had her own ring on. She'd only noticed it on the walk to town, just as they'd left school grounds in fact, but she hadn't brought it up until now. She wasn't sure she wanted to though, in fact she'd been avoiding it. But Utena's innocent question had been too much of a reminder for her to let herself ignore it anymore. If Utena was just one more mystery girl that she couldn't be sure of like Anthy, she wanted to know now before she risked her heart too much. Honestly, she wasn't at all sure how much more her heart could take.
Utena looked at the ring and was caught speechless. "That ring..." She said. "Why do you have that ring?" Utena met her eyes, all of the sudden in a completely different frame of mind. Thinking back all those years ago...
"...you mean, you don't know?" Juri asked curiously.
"Know what?" Utena asked.
Juri sighed and folded her hands together in the air a little ways under her chin. "Why don't you tell me... how you came to have yours then?" She asked softly, ready to listen with an open mind.
Utena looked into Juri's eyes. She had very much not expected this. She hadn't noticed Juri had that ring before now. How had she not noticed that, she wondered? It was a small detail, one easily overlooked, she supposed. But still, somehow, she thought she should have seen it right away. Looking into Juri's eyes though, she couldn't help but trust her enough to share her story. "When I was a small girl, and my parents had died... everyone tried to be nice, but it didn't help, so I must have ran away. I remember, I was alone in the forest in a field of wild flowers where my family used to go on picnics. I don't remember it all that well - not the details at least, just the big things. You might not believe this, but a young man appeared, a traveling prince, riding upon a white horse. He had a regal bearing and a kind smile."
Juri regarded the soft, wistful look on Utena's face and couldn't believe she was being dishonest with her about this, so what she was saying had to be the truth.
"The prince came dawn from his horse, wrapped me in a rose-scented embrace and gently wiped the tears from my eyes." She closed her eyes to remember what he'd said to her all those years ago. She'd never forgotten the words. "'Little one,' he said, 'who bears up alone in such deep sorrow, never lose that strength or nobility, even when you grow up. I give you this to remember this day. We will meet again. This ring will lead you to me one day.' And then he left." She opened her eyes and met Juri's gaze. "I... I never knew what it all meant, but from that day on, I've always wanted to be like that. To be a prince, like he was. To help others, like he helped me."
Juri smiled a little. "That's a nice idea. Somehow, I can believe that about you too." She said, looking down at her own ring. It was like something from a fairy tale, what Utena had said. No fairy tale she'd ever heard of course, but still, that's what it had sounded like. But Utena had spoken with such gentle honesty, Juri had to believe her. And it wasn't as though that would be the strangest thing she'd ever encountered. Not by a long shot. In fact, somehow, it just... made sense to her. "And you've never seen this prince again?" She asked.
"No, never." Utena told her. "You believe me then? You don't think I'm making it up?" She asked. Her uncle had always told her that she'd imagined it, though her aunt had been too kind to say so and had simply said that little girls needed to believe in magic sometimes. She wasn't really sure why she'd been so honest with Juri about it though, she'd never told anyone else but Wakaba that story before, and even though Wakaba had been nice about it, Utena could tell she hadn't believed her either.
"No, I don't think that at all in fact." Juri smiled softly to her, picking up Utena's hand in hers again and brushing the other girl's ring finger with her thumb. It was another mystery, true, or another part of one big mystery they were both wrapped up in, but that Utena seemed as much in the dark about it as she made her feel a lot better for some reason. Like she was less alone now, somehow.
"Why not...? Juri, how can you have a ring just like mine? What does it mean?" Utena asked.
Juri smiled. "I couldn't tell you what it means." She told her simply. "But, like everyone else in the student council, I received mine in a letter. A letter from someone calling themselves 'End of the World'. The letter said, that this ring, marked me as a duelist."
"A... a duelist? But... what does that mean?" Utena asked.
Juri closed her eyes a moment and then opened them again. "These rings, they're like keys. To a secret place, at the school. The Forbidden Forest." She smiled a little. "You wouldn't believe what's in there unless you saw it for yourself." She told her. "And because you have that ring, I suppose you can. I suppose you were meant to. Just like the rest of us. Well... maybe not just like us. For you, it seems like all this has been in your life a lot longer, even if you didn't know that."
"...I guess so. So, can you tell me... what's inside the forest? Is... does the prince live there?" She asked.
Juri sighed. "He might, for all I know. If he does though, where he lives, there's no way to reach it... not that we know of at least. We don't even know if it's real, not for sure."
"If what's real?" Utena asked.
"...The castle." Juri told her softly. "Within the forest, there is a tall, winding staircase, that leads to a flat dueling field... on a... like this." Juri took the saucer from under her tea cup and held it up with a fork underneath it at an angle. "Above that, in the sky, there's..." Juri stopped and smiled a little ruefully. "Well, like I said, you'll have to see it for yourself. It's a little much to ask anyone to believe without having seen it." She confessed.
"...I'm not sure I want to believe any of this." Utena admitted. And it was true, this was all so... so strange. But the rings were real. She'd always held onto that truth, growing up. "I do though." She said softly. "This... this letter you got, did it say anything else?"
"That the winner of the duels, he or she would be given the power to bring revolution to the world." Juri told her.
"Duels... You fight duels? Real ones? With swords?"
Juri nodded 'yes'.
"And... revolution... what..." Utena sighed. "I want to see this... place, the one inside the forest. Will you take me there? Tonight?" Utena asked.
"...I will. I promise." Juri told her.
"Good." Utena said. "...But, until then... can we just talk about something else for a while?" She asked. "I mean... this is still a date, right?" She smiled a little. "I... want to find out more about you, just... you know, talk some more." She asked softly.
"...I'd love that." Juri smiled to her, finding herself once more charmed by the way Utena looked at her, that gentle smile of hers.
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They talked a little more, and dinner came. Juri had been right about the food, Utena had to agree, it was some of the best food she'd ever had. Through the meal, they continued their conversation. They avoided all talk of duels and rose crest rings - though those things, despite how wonderful a time she found herself having, never left Utena's mind.
There had been times she'd almost convinced herself she'd imagined her meeting with the kind prince after all. That she'd simply found the ring in the woods and made a story up about it, then told it to herself so many times she'd come to believe it true. This though... she'd told Juri she believed her, and in her heart she did somehow, but her head was telling her how crazy it all sounded. That maybe Juri was just making all of this up for some reason (though she very much didn't want to think Juri would do something like that). That's why she wanted to see it for herself. Whatever it was. Then she'd know. Then she'd know if she'd been right to hold onto this story of the prince so long and not let it, or the lesson it had taught her, go.
Somehow though, she had this feeling, somewhere inside, that this, all of this, that there was a meaning to it. That her life had a meaning to it, that there was something she was meant to do, someone she was meant to be. Not necessarily that it was all planned out, but more like... something inside her wouldn't let her go, wouldn't let her disbelieve. Not until she had proof.
Until then though, she was having a really good time on her date.
"We met them over break last year." Utena explained. She'd been telling Juri about her friends. How she and Wakaba had been best friends for a long time, since Utena had come to her rescue when a boy had been being mean to her (this was when they were both seven). Now she was telling her about Kaori and Chiaki, that they were a really good couple and everything, and now how she and Wakaba met them. "Wakaba and I signed up for the class trip to Sidney, Australia." The school had arranged it through a travel agency who's owner was on the governing board. It had been to expose students to other cultures, other parts of the world. It was all part of the school's 'cultural enrichment' activities. "Wakaba's dad and Kaori's mom were both chaperones. Everybody knows that they're gay though, apparently, so no one was really making an effort to be their friends."
"But you did... because you had that in common I guess." Juri ventured.
"Not really, I didn't even know about that actually when I went over to them. I didn't know that about myself then either really." She admitted.
"When'd you figure it out then?" Juri asked curiously as they continued to gaze into one another's eyes. It was kind of amazing how comfortable Juri felt just doing that with this girl.
"...When you first smiled at me?" Utena admitted just a little shyly.
"Really?" Juri asked.
"...Yeah. That actually was the moment it happened." She smiled a little.
"...I'm very flattered then." Juri smiled, actually feeling her cheeks warm at that. She looked down and ate a little of the chocolate dish she and Utena were sharing for dissert. It was rich and cool to taste, but the syrup was still a little warm. It was really quite a complement to get. "So, um, what happened next... in the story you were telling?" She met Utena's eyes again and felt even more drawn to them now somehow. Maybe Utena's confession had just stroked her ego or something, and it probably had of course, but honestly, Juri didn't think it was that at all that was making her feel this way.
"Oh, well... anyone could see those two were having more fun than anyone, even though they were kind of just in their own private world together. I'd never really noticed them at school before, but I did then, and I said to Wakaba we should go make friends with them. And we did. They were really nice and we just, um, kind of clicked, you know? We've been friends ever since. We ended up going everywhere as a group all the rest of break. My favorite place we went was the opera house, you know, the famous one. Have you been there?"
"I have, actually, when I was a little girl. My father travels, for business. My parents took me to see an opera... I don't remember it very well, the opera itself I mean. But I had fun. My mom said I clapped at the end, and that it's one of her favorite memories of me." Juri told her.
"Maybe... maybe one day we'll go there together then?" Utena found herself saying.
"...That would be really nice, actually." Juri said back.
Utena sighed. "It's getting kind of late, isn't it?" She asked with some regret.
A little surprised, Juri looked over at the sky. It did look like the sun was going to set before all that long, now that Utena had mentioned it. "Huh, I hadn't noticed." She admitted with a small smile. "I... guess I've just been having too much of a pleasant evening, I didn't want it to end so soon." She said meeting Utena's eyes again.
Utena smiled back. "Really?" She asked.
"Mm-hmm. I guess I should take you back though, shouldn't I? And... I have a promise to keep, don't I?" She looked down at her hand and the ring there.
"...Yes, you do." Utena said softly.
Juri looked up and their eyes met again and that made her feel better again. It made Juri wonder just how it was Utena Tenjou quite made her feel this way. Not that she was complaining. She felt more herself... more centered, more grounded, than she had in a long time, and she was sure Utena was the reason for it.
"I'll call for the check then." Juri said back softly. "We can take the rest of the dissert to go, if you want?" She offered.
"Yeah, I'd like that." Utena smiled. It really was very good chocolate, they'd just kind of ignored it in favor of their conversation though so far, and now it was too late. Not that Utena was complaining at all, because she was doing anything but. As first dates went, this one had to be one of the best ever. At least... the date part of it was. Maybe not the strange revelations part...
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Some time later, after Juri had paid for their meal and they'd walked back to campus, Utena and Juri were walking through the school grounds on their way to the Forbidden Forrest, holding hands. There was hardly anyone out at this time. The sun was low in the sky and it would be dark soon. They saw a group of students laughing and talking pass not that far away. They were noticed and some of them made comments about them to others in their group but neither Utena nor Juri could hear, so what they said could have been anything really. Juri didn't seem to care about it though, and Utena was too distracted with thoughts of what they were going to see for it to even register that much on her. She did notice how warm Juri's hand was in hers though, and how nice it felt.
They'd both fallen silent around the time they'd re-entered Ohtori Academy grounds. Juri had stopped to hold the door open for her and their eyes had met. They'd looked into one another's eyes silently and the moment had seemed frozen in time. As Utena walked, Juri's eyes then still seemed to possess her imagination. Her heart was beating a little faster too as the forest came into view before them and they walked steadily towards it.
"These duels you fight, do you always win?" Utena asked as they went.
"...so far." Juri answered softly. "When all this started, there was a sort of... tournament. Since then, I've never lost." Left unspoken was how very close she'd come to losing a few times; how, once or twice, she'd very much risked her life to win, and how, in those moments, what had made her pull through had always been... Anthy.
Utena was silent as they walked up the stone stairway that lead to the forest. They came to a what she supposed was the gate Juri had told her about on the walk back. A stone porch before a stone wall, the shape of roses carved into the stone on either side. In the center there was... a handle. Juri took her hand in hers and gently guided her hand to the handle. "Just take hold of it. You have your ring, so it should open for you."
"...okay, here goes, I guess." Utena said, taking hold of the handle. Things seemed to get unnaturally quiet for a moment, and then the sound of water, like a drop of water falling from a tap. And then the a single drop of water fell sideways onto the ring on her finger and she withdrew it. "It's cold." She said softly, turning to look into Juri's eyes as water started to poor from either side of the garden's gate. Utena turned to watch it. A mist started to rise, and there were soft sounds of things shifting, stone moving against stone. She could hardly see.
"It's alright." Juri said softly, taking her in her arms a little. Utena enjoyed the feeling, despite the odd situation, and found herself gazing into Juri's eyes again for a moment. The moment was quiet and meaningful somehow, though Utena couldn't say exactly how. Her words seemed caught in her throat, but she felt super alive, even though there was this sort of dream-like quality in the air around them.
Soon, the mists cleared and the gate had opened and somehow changed into a large rose in bloom, and beneath it, the entryway. Curious and more than a little struck with awe, Utena went forwards, Juri following behind. Before them was a wide walkway that shone like it was made of metal or polished stone. Pillars on either side of the walkway with pink, violet, and white roses growing on them. All around them, a little in the distance, was the forest, shrouded in mists. And ahead, a winding ramp that went up and up around a tilted pillar. Looking up, Utena could see only clouds.
"This place is so... how is this possible?" Utena asked softly.
"If someone knows, they haven't told me. Some kind of magic, I suppose." Juri said softly from behind her. "Do you want to keep going?"
"Yes, of course... I mean, I have to see." Utena told her.
"Then let's go." Juri smiled softly to her and took her hand as they started to walk down the walkway together.
Utena smiled a little to herself at how much she liked holding hands with this girl. She'd never really done this sort of thing before. Oh, her and Wakaba had held hands before sometimes, but... it had never felt like this. Holding hands with Wakaba always felt just... happy, and fun. This was... she couldn't think of a word for it. The feeling was just... more... she couldn't wrap her head around all of it, really. She felt like she needed time to think about it, later.
They reached the base of the pillar and it was apparent now that the path that wound up around the slanted pillar, like Juri had said, had steps. Steps wide enough for a parade to travel up with room to spare. "How far does this go up?" Utena asked in a somewhat reverent voice.
"...A long way. It takes around an hour to get there if you just walk." She told her.
"Oh..." Utena said simply.
"We'll be out until at least midnight if we keep going, probably later. We can always come back later if you want?" Juri offered.
"Mm-mm... no way." Utena replied. "There's no way I'll be able to sleep if I don't see what's up there now." She told her a little ruefully.
Juri smiled a little at that.
"Kaori would say 'Onwards and upwards we march'." Utena said further as they started to walk, feeling oddly relaxed about all of this now. For the moment at least. Somehow, having Juri here with her made her feel... like everything would turn out okay. Maybe she shouldn't trust the other girl quite so easily, they'd only just met after all, but she found she did anyway.
"Why would she say that?" Juri asked, a smile still on her lips.
"Apparently her parents are always talking about 'the march of progress', so she talks about marching places a lot... mostly because she thinks it's funny I think." Utena told her. "It's just part of how she talks."
"I kind of want to meet her more now." Juri replied.
"She's one of a kind alright." Utena smiled fondly.
"Utena..." Juri spoke after a while.
"Yeah?" Utena asked, still kind of in awe of the fact that all this was here. The Forrest, the stairs, all of it.
"I'm... I'm really glad you asked me out today." She told her honestly.
Utena looked over to the girl beside her. "Me too." She smiled to her a little shyly. "Although... I guess I didn't mean for it to be a date when I asked you." She admitted.
"You didn't?" Juri asked, feeling a little disappointed at that.
"No... um, see, I had this whole idea that maybe I should just try to be friends... I mean... you didn't exactly say what 'complicated' was... with Anthy I mean... I guess, I just thought... if we were friends first, then I'd be able to figure out if it was really okay to ask you for a date." She explained.
"Oh... that makes sense I guess..." Juri said a little softly, thoughts of Anthy a little disquieting at the moment somehow. A little confusing.
"...Can I ask, what exactly is going on with you two? I mean... you're... just roommates, right?" She asked hopefully.
"...Not exactly, no." Juri admitted.
"...what then?" Utena asked softly.
Juri was silent a moment. "It's all wrapped up in all of this." She finally said. "If you want the truth, technically I guess, me and Anthy are... engaged to be married."
Utena stopped abruptly. "...you're kidding, right?" She was, to say the least, kind of shocked.
"That's how it works... whoever is the current champion of the duels, is engaged to the Rose Bride, and that's her. That's Anthy." Juri said, not meeting Utena's eyes.
"...and you didn't think telling me that before was important?" Utena asked.
"No, it's just..." Juri sighed. "Can we keep walking while we talk about this? It's... it's a long explanation I guess." She said, a little unsure of herself in this.
Utena considered a moment. "...Alright, we can do that I guess." She finally said.
When they resumed walking, they weren't holding hands anymore, and Juri sharply felt the loss of that. It hurt, some at least, and she couldn't help resenting Anthy a little for it, and all of this. It really didn't make that much sense, and it wasn't fair, maybe least of all to Anthy herself. Who would choose to be the Rose Bride and have to do whatever someone who won you in a duel said, after all?
"We received the letters the first day of school at the start of second term last year." Juri said.
Utena did the math. Right now, it was just a little ways into the 2nd half of the school year. So this whole thing had been going on for about a year now. Right here in her school and she'd never known it. Even with this though, a part of her still wanted to reach over and take Juri's hand again. She didn't though, she needed an answer first. She needed to know the truth about Anthy Himemiya.
"Touga introduced her to us. He told us that when he'd used the ring, opened the gate to the forest and traveled to the top where we're going, that Anthy had been there waiting for him. His letter had told him she would be." She went on to explain. "So... we got her enrolled as a student, and we followed the rules that the letters gave us." She paused a moment.
"...That's it, you just did what the letters said? You didn't question it?" Utena asked, a little outraged at the whole thing. It seemed kind of barbaric to her.
"Of course we had questions, but there was no one to ask... and we all had our reasons for wanting what the letters promised." Juri told her honestly. "For wanting to bring revolution to the world." She felt it then again, and it was a surprise somehow, that sharp pain in her heart at thinking of why that was for her. Of thinking of Shiori. She hadn't felt it quite so intensely for quite some time. Maybe letting her heart trust again as much as she had with Utena tonight was the cause... in any case, she stubbornly closed that part of herself off again, unable to deal with it now. She wasn't really sure she'd ever be able to 'deal' with it. Maybe when you were hurt like that, you just... stayed hurt.
"...But... do you even know what that means?" Utena asked. Even being here in this place, she still wasn't completely sure how much she should believe of this.
"...No, not really... when I came here though, and saw that castle... when you see it, maybe you'll understand. I just had to know. I had to find out what it all meant..." She considered what she was going to say next, but decided she had to be honest. "And besides, I couldn't just not go along with it. I mean, what would have happened to her if I hadn't?" She said quietly.
"To Anthy, you mean." Utena said the obvious thing.
"She's not a normal girl, Utena... She has to do whatever I tell her to, whatever the one who's engaged to her asks her. I mean, it could be anything... and she'd do it, just because..." She trailed off.
"Just because you won her in a duel." Utena finished for her.
"Essentially, yes." Juri said. "And I know... it's a real... curse... or whatever you want to call it. She has a sword..." Juri covered the center of her chest right above her breasts with her hand. "Right here, inside of her."
"Inside of her, but..." Utena struggled to picture it.
"I know, it sounds impossible, but... whoever wins the duels has the power to draw the sword from within her, just like magic. She says this... a magic spell or something, to call it out of her."
"Do you remember the words?" Utena asked silently, trying to wrap her thoughts around all of this.
"I don't think I could ever forget..." Juri said. "She says: 'Rose of the noble castle. Power of Dios that sleeps within me. Head you master and come forth.' The hilt of the sword comes out of her framed in bright glowing light, I take hold of it and draw it out. The letters name it as The Sword of Dios."
"And she... she doesn't know what any of this is about either?" She asked.
"All she'll say is that it's a mystery... but I get the feeling something bad will happen, at least to her, if the duels don't go on. If this doesn't happen the way it needs to happen." Juri confided, though she very much wished she didn't have to talk about any of this with Utena, at least not yet. She could hardly avoid doing so though, now that Utena knew to ask. "I could, perhaps, command her to tell me everything she knows, and if she's hiding anything, in theory, she'd have to tell me I suppose. But... I've never once told her to do anything, and I never will. That's why I have to win... So that no one else ever will either." Juri said. "I mean... Miki wouldn't take advantage of her, I'm sure of it, but the other two?" She shuddered. "I don't want to think about it. They'd probably scar her for life, just from how obnoxious they are. Saionji especially..." The fact that he was a jerk aside, Juri had always had a bad feeling about him somehow. She couldn't put her finger on what it was about him exactly, but she trusted him even less than she did Touga, and that was saying something (because just about everything Touga Kiryuu said was half-truths and innuendo of some sort).
Utena was silent for a few steps. "I understand..." She said softly. "I mean, of course you'd have to do that." And it made sense. Utena wasn't sure she wouldn't have done the same thing in that situation. It actually was a brave thing to do. "But... you don't have feelings for her, do you?" She asked, feeling a little insure about it somehow. She didn't like feeling that way, but she apparently did anyway.
Juri sighed. "Most of the time I don't even know how I feel about her, if you want the real truth." And that was true of course, but it was a lie of omission. There was more there between her and Anthy than she wanted Utena to know. Everything she'd told Utena about her reasons was true though, it was just, when someone does something, there's usually two reasons, one selfless and one selfish. And Juri knew, her selfish reason was that she did in fact have feelings for Anthy, even if she wasn't sure what they were. It didn't matter though, she told herself, because nothing could ever come of it. Not ever. Not as long as Anthy was... who she was.
"...What do you mean by that?" Utena asked, not understanding how that could be true.
"Anthy, she... she kind of has this way of... of just... getting to me. Like, she can see all the things inside myself that I wouldn't... wouldn't really want anyone else to see, and... I can never pin down how she does it, but it's like, one brick at a time... any walls I have in my heart, she just... takes them apart... most of the time I don't even really notice when she does it. It drives me up the wall sometimes, and other times I... find myself just crying, alone in my room, but... I don't know, sometimes I think it could be a good thing too..." She admitted. "I'm sorry... I know that's probably not the answer you wanted to hear."
"No, I guess not... I don't even know what to say about it either, honestly." Utena confessed.
"Guess that makes two of us then... One more thing we have in common. That's... that's kind of good, right?" Juri asked a little hopefully.
It was... what Juri was describing, Utena just didn't know what to think about it... not yet anyway. Whatever the answer was though, Utena was already pretty sure that she'd want to be there for Juri, to help her through it. If Juri would let her that is... Utena considered that a moment and then reached over and took Juri's hand again. "I guess... it'll have to be." She said a little helplessly. [It's not like I'm going to give up on her over this or anything. I'm not sure I could stand to even if that's what I wanted.] She had to admit to herself. [I guess I'll just have to... see what happens.]
"...okay then." Juri said, squeezing Utena's hand a little and smiling softly to herself at the gesture Utena had made.
"...okay then." Utena repeated as they continued to walk up through the clouds towards a castle in the sky.
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Some time later, they'd climbed past the clouds and to the top of the stairs. It was as bright here as daylight. A castle, a real castle, glowing with lights and moving around and around above them in slow motion like a ballerina on a silent music box. Utena had just stopped and stared a while when she'd first seen it. It was some little while later now though and she and Juri had sat down on the other side of the dueling arena and were slowly eating the rest of the chocolate dissert they'd taken with them from the restaurant.
Up here, it almost felt like they were the only two people in the whole world.
"This is really good." Utena said simply, smiling as she took a bite of it.
"I told you they had good food there." Juri said a little playfully.
"Juri..." Utena said softly.
"Mm, yes?" Juri asked, putting down her plastic spoon.
"You want to figure all of this out too, don't you?" She asked.
"Of course, that's what I said." Juri told her simply, looking at her with curiosity and interest.
"Well, I was thinking... maybe we can figure it out better if we work together. If we're in this together." Utena said, meeting Juri's eyes meaningfully.
"You mean..." Juri smiled a little bemusedly. "As a couple?"
"...Not necessarily... but... yes, if you'd want that... I'd love to be your girlfriend." Utena admitted kind of shyly, uncharacteristically looking down a moment before meeting Juri's eyes again with assurance. "...what do you think?"
"I..." A part of Juri wanted to just say yes to that, but... "I agree about working together to... to figure this out, this mystery... but, I'm not... can we just kind of see were this takes us for now? I'm... I'm just... not really sure were my head is at lately, or my heart, really." Juri admitted softly. "It wouldn't be fair to just... say yes, if I wasn't... If I'm not totally sure."
Utena smiled softly. "That's okay. I... mm, I wouldn't want you to do that either I mean." She said, feeling a little self-conscious. [Dummy.] She thought to herself [Of course she'd say that. What was I thinking... asking her something like that now?] She hadn't really meant to say yes to Juri's question, it had just... come out through...
"I um, I'd like to see you again though. A second date. Can we... meet for lunch tomorrow?" She asked with a charming smiled.
Utena smiled back, feeling happiness well up a little inside. "That'd be great."
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Later, it was dark out, but the paths on campus were always lit at night. Juri walked Utena back to her dorm, up to the building entrance. "I guess... this is where we say good night." Juri told her softly, touching Utena's cheek as their eyes met and Utena found herself leaning against the wall by the building's front door, Juri so close to her. She felt like something in her was... fluttering... the way Juri was looking at her. [As if I needed any more proof I was into girls.] Utena thought, trying to remember to breathe.
"Yeah, I guess so." She managed to say.
"I'd like to kiss you now." Juri said in a gentle voice, moving just a little closer.
"...go ahead." Utena told her softly, kind of lost in the other girl's eyes. She could barely see them they were so lost in shadow (the light was behind her).
Their lips met and Utena's eyes fell closed. Juri's lips were so soft but so sure too... the kiss was gentle, and so sweet, and it seemed to just go on and on. Utena kissed her back, she just felt like she knew how, knew what to do, even though in the back of her mind she was sure she didn't. It didn't matter though, this was the best feeling in the world. Juri's body so close to her, pressed against her, her hands in Utena's hair, titling her head just so. Utena rested her hands on Juri's hips and moved one up along her side. Her heart was beating like a drum and she wanted this to last forever, or at least longer than it seemed to when Juri moved away.
Their eyes met again and Juri smiled, a little shyly actually. "I... had a really great time with you tonight." She said softly.
"...I did to... with you I mean." Utena said, still a little... dazzled, by the kiss. [My first kiss.] She thought to herself a little dreamily. She wanted to go to Juri and kiss her again, but thought better of it. She didn't want to be too forward again, like she had before. She needed to give Juri more time, and go at her pace, she told herself.
"Well, see you tomorrow then. For lunch? We could meet where we first met?" She asked.
"Sounds good. I'll... see you then. Goodnight, Juri." Utena said, moving forward and touching Juri's hand lightly. They shared another moment looking into each other's eyes and then Juri turned away. Utena watched her walk away for a moment before snapping herself out of it, shaking her head a little, then slapping her cheeks lightly. "Right." She told herself, turning around and going into the building, trying not to think about just how much she wanted to kiss Juri again.
Wakaba would for sure be asleep by now. But she had a feeling she'd have to answer some questions from her friend in the morning.
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To be continued...