When I was 12, I was excellent at sports and friends with only boys. My mother didn’t understand it. She said I should act more like a young lady. I thought she was nuts. I enjoyed playing sports more than anything and playing with toy cars. Playing with dolls and fixing my hair in cute styles didn’t appeal to me. I kept my hair short. It wasn’t because I liked it that way. It was because it made sports easier. I didn’t get as hot. But my hair and the things I like aren’t the reason for this thought. It is to explain why I was mistaken as a boy then.
When I was 12, I entered middle school. I couldn’t wait for sixth grade. It meant I would be that much closer to high school. Only three years, but that time dragged a lot more than it should have. Why? Because I figured out first loves aren’t like they are in movies. They can be heart breaking, frustrating, and make you completely insane.
My first love came in the form of eleven year old Melissa Roberts. She was the most adorable thing I had ever seen. She was blonde, petite and had that perfect smile that lit up a room. That smile made me fall for her immediately. I had never liked anyone before, so I didn’t want to acknowledge the feeling. But if there is one thing I have learned about love, is that it can’t be ignored.
I started out my year knowing I had no chance, so I didn’t even try, but I noticed something very quickly. I had always been an A student, but any class I had her in, I made a C. My mother wasn’t exactly thrilled. She threatened my life if I didn’t get my grades up, so I had to work extra hard in those classes. But like I said it is hard to ignore the person you like. I still managed to scrape up a semester A in my classes, which my mother was seemingly pleased with. She actually told me that if I wasn’t going to be a cheerleader, I had to be an honor student.
I did become an honor student, but I also became a basketball player. I was so good that they actually allowed me to be on the boys’ team. For the record, I wouldn’t have minded being on a girls’ team, but our middle school didn’t have one. That is one of the reasons I couldn’t wait to go to high school.
I enjoyed being on the team. When our games started I got to be a starter, which I thought was awesome. But I also figured out that I would have a distraction at most games. She was a cheerleader. Melissa looked absolutely adorable in her cheer outfit. I thought I was going to get a nosebleed at most games. I still managed to get in my fair share of shots though. It was easy mostly because I was tall and had a good build. No, I am not one of those girls who are creepily overly muscular. I just have a good build.
I remember clearly the first time we ever talked. It was after one of our games in the first semester of my seventh grade year. I had made a lot of shots. We beat the other team by a huge margin.
I was standing by the water cooler. I felt someone come up behind me. I unconsciously handed a cup full of ice water to the person behind. I never looked at the person, but the reply was all I needed to know who it was.
“Thank you.” It was a heavenly voice and one I knew all too well. I tried not to look at her. I knew I was blushing. I just replied with a welcome.
“Hey, what’s your name? You’re really good.” I looked briefly at her and had to quickly look away. She was smiling at me. I felt my face getting hotter.
“Um, name’s Taylor.” That’s was all I could choke out. I felt like I was going to pass out.
“Well hello Taylor. I’m Melissa. You know you have a pretty girly voice.”
I turned to look at her. I cocked an eyebrow. “I am a girl.”
“Oh, Really? Sorry. I just always assumed you were a boy because you always hang out with the boys, but that explains why you have such girlish features.” She was blushing and looking down then. She was embarrassed.
“It’s alright.” She looked up at me and did an awkward smile.
“Well I gotta go.” She turned around and ran on her heels back to her friends. It was then that I figured I would never have a chance with her. It was also then that I realized I didn’t want to ever be mistaken for a boy again.
By the end of my seventh grade year, I had grown out my hair to my shoulders and started to wear makeup and clothes that could sorta be considered girls’. I actually became friends with a few girls. They weren’t girls that were anything like Melissa, but they were girls nonetheless.
My eighth grade year was pretty much uneventful. I didn’t have any classes with Melissa, so my grades were good. I did great in basketball as usual. The one thing I do remember about that year is Melissa’s boyfriend.
Every time I saw Melissa, she was with him. He was your typical jock football player. When I saw them kissing at games, it broke my heart. It was that year that I started to feel myself go numb. I realized I wasn’t the same person I was earlier in the year. I was sort of mean to my friends. I didn’t mean to be. I was just frustrated. I couldn’t wait to get out of middle school.
It was towards the end of my eighth grade year that I did something I wished I hadn’t. I was at the water cooler and she came up behind me.
“Hey Taylor, um, could you hand me some water?”
I turned around and glared at her. “Get your boyfriend to get it. He’s right there.” I pointed to the boy about ten feet away, and then I walked away.
When I got far enough away so that I knew she couldn’t see me, I looked back at her. She had a cup of water in her hands now. She had the water cupped into her hands. She was staring into it. She had an odd expression on her face. Her face actually looked sad in a way. I had never seen her with the slightest amount of sadness on her face, but there it was, and I had caused it.
I thought about apologizing, but I decided against it. I wouldn’t see her much anymore anyways.
The rest of the year was completely lacking of any special events. I tried to keep a low profile, and then finally summer came. I was so glad middle school was over. I was hoping high school would offer a new beginning. It turned out to offer so much more.
Summer was over, and it was the first day of high school. Right away I met up with the guys. We couldn’t wait until basketball tryouts. They told me they were kinda sad we weren’t going to be on the same team. I was actually looking forward to being on a girl’s team. I had already made friends with a few girls already on the team.
Thankfully I made the varsity team with flying colors. Things were getting better. I was actually enjoying my ninth grade year.
Things started up again when I saw Melissa again. I saw her sitting on a boy’s lap. It wasn’t the boyfriend I knew, so I figured this must be a new one. I rolled my eyes and decided this year I would get over her. I feel I must say this again, love doesn’t work that way.
I turned to walk away when I heard someone yell wait up. No it wasn’t Melissa; it was some boy who was sitting at the table with them. I turned to look at him.
“Hey, your Taylor right?”
“Yeah, why?”
“You look different. You’re like a total babe now. Wanna go out with me?”
“Um, you’re kinda not my type. Sorry.” I turned away and left then. I wanted nothing to do with Melissa’s posse. I would have to see her a lot then.
The following day, when I was in math I got a note passed to me. It said Melissa on it. I opened it.
“Why did you turn down Tyler?” I looked at the letter for a minute.
“He’s not my type.” I wrote back, and then sent it back.
“What does that even mean? What is your type?”
“I don’t know.”
“If you don’t know your type, then why turn him down?”
“I don’t know. It none of your fuckin’ business.”
“I was only asking you don’t have to be such a bitch.”
“I wouldn’t be one if you would mind your own business.”
“Fine whatever. I just wonder what happened to you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You were so nice the first time I met you. I wish you were still like that. Then you wouldn’t have been so mean to Tyler.”
“Did it ever occur to you that maybe you had something to do with the whole thing?”
Then I wished I would not have written that because she didn’t write back.
When the bell rang I exited as fast as I could.
When I exited the building to leave, I was stopped on the steps by a hand on my shoulder.
“What did you mean?” I jerked free of the girl’s hand and headed down the steps.
“Just drop it.” She chased after me.
She jumped in front of me. “No, not until you tell me what you meant.”
People were starting to look, so I grabbed her by the arm and led her to the deserted yard behind our school.
“Look, I like you okay? Now go have a good laugh about it with your boyfriend and all those other snobs.” I turned around and ran off. I just knew that my high school life was over then.
When I got to school, I waited for all the remarks and rumors, but there were none. Instead I heard something unexpected. Melissa had broken up with her boyfriend.
I decided I would find her at lunch and talk to her. My classes seemed like they would drag on forever,
When lunch finally came, I couldn’t find her. I looked everywhere for her. When lunch was almost over, I decided to spend the rest of my time by myself at the empty yard and surprisingly that is where I found her.
Mellissa had her head resting on her knees. Her hair was spread out over her legs. I caught my breath. The sun was making her hair sparkle. I looked at her for a few moments longer.
I walked up to her. “What are you doin’?”
She looked up at me. Her eyes looked tired. She just laid her head back on knees facing the other way.
I Kneeled beside her. “So why did you break up with him?”
“I don’t know.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.
I ran my finger through her hair. I couldn’t help myself. She turned to look at me and sighed.
I couldn’t begin to read her expression.
I leaned over and did something I never thought I would do. I kissed her. It only lasted for a few seconds, but she didn’t pull away.
I stopped and look at her. She had a small smile on her face. Which was all I needed to see to know things were alright.
The bell rang. I looked around.
“Do you want to go to class?” She just shook her head no.
I smiled. I looked around again to make sure no one was around. I put my hands on her shoulders and pushed her down on to the grass.
That was a wonderful afternoon. I smiled at the thought. Although this afternoon is slightly better.
If you are wondering, I am now an eleventh grader. Mellissa and I have been dating for almost two years and things are great. Our friends were actually pretty accepting. We are actually known as a school couple, which is pretty cool. The only thing I hate is when they try to put our names together. It never works.
I felt a light blow on the back of my neck. Oh yeah, back to why this is such a great afternoon. It is Friday, and Melissa’s dad is out of town until tomorrow, so I am spending the night at her house. Needless to say, I’m not exactly wearing clothes right now.
I turned around to look at the naked blond snuggled tight under her sheets. She is smiling brightly at me.
I smile back and lean over for a few pecks. She snuggles up closer to me. Her body heat feels amazing.
I kiss her on the forehead, and she snuggles under my neck. We both fall asleep almost simultaneously from previous exhaustions.