Gita has been with us for a few days.
Father compares her to a breath of fresh air. He says she's delightful and charming.
I say she's quiet, sneaky, and whenever I'm around her she just stares at me. It's so irritating. I feel like she thinks she's above me in some way. Which is just absurd that it is. I mean, sure her grandfather is a well known scholar, but my father is a well known diplomat in our country. Nobility is his middle name.
Why on earth should I feel so inferior to this girl?
I shouldnt at all!
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It had been awhile since I'd been in the garden. This seemed like a good place to escape that damned place.
From father trying to convince me tohave a ball, to Antionette complaining about my hair being too long and proper ettiquite, then of course Louis always undressing me with his eyes, to Gita smiling at me from across the room.
This garden has been my haven for times I needed to be alone.
This is one of those times.
I remember the last time I was here...
I cant stop crying. The tears wont stop falling.
I dont fit in this place. I cant believe Antionette would say such horrible things to me. This garden is all I have left isnt it?
Yes, I remember it clearly.
Antionette said I was of dirty blood..talking of my birth mother of course. And Father didnt believe me that he did not.
He told me that I shouldnt lie about my step mother.
So to avoid such another incident such as that, I just simply didnt say anything to her. I will awknowlage her. I am not rude after all. But I do not speak to her.
I hate her and Louis.
The garden was full of crysanthymums. They were my favorite flower. The colour, the scent, their soft petals,everything about them was beautiful.
The day Anionette said all those horrible things to me, I cried myself sleep in a flower bed of crysanthymums.
A soon fell into a sleepy nostagia...it was like deja vu...only i wasnt crying this time. Just sleeping...
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I awoke to see Gita sitting and looking at me. I jumped with embarassment. "What are you doing here!?" I asked, heart pounding.
"Watching you sleep." She said plainly...as if it were obvious, and I was foolish to even ask. "Why?" I asked. This was aggravating.
"Why? Because it was intresting." She looked quite serious.
"Excuse me?" was all I could say.
"heh heh. You're a very beautiful girl. I'm quite jealous." She smiled. Her voice still smooth as honey. I didnt see what there was to be envious of that I didnt.
Things got quiet...
"What do you mean?" I said finally. She rolled her eyes.
"I'm saying you're beautiful. What dont you understand about that?"
She picked a flower. "It was even more pretty because these flowers compliment your skin." She continued.
I knew I must've looked confused. "What's your problem Kahnna?" She asked studying me.
"I was just under the impression you and I werent associating." I said.
"And why would you think that? I came to your room the other night. I came out here didnt I? If I didnt want to associate with you I wouldnt. That is of course...do you not want to associate with me?" She asked as her smile slowly faded.
"To be honest...I find you to be rather self-indulged." I said flat out. Which I hadnt meant to.
"I see then. I must apologize. I can come off that way. I dont make friends easily with others. I'm exactly a social butterfly." She said with a giggle.
"Oh, I understand. I'm the same. My father has been trying to throw me a ball but I wouldnt know what to say to anyone." I said.
I never thought I'd warm up to her, but I was.
"How about just smiling and thanking them for coming?" She suggested.
"Yes I suppose. But between you and I, I just hate crowds." I admitted.
"In other words, because you've been so sheltered you've developed a shyness." She explained. I guess she was right.
Gita and I stayed and talked in the garden for a long while.
She told me of her schooling before.
It turns out that her roommate had been loud and too talkative for Gita. Which I understand completely. Talkative people are brainless.
We continued to talk about things and before we knew it we were sitting in twilight.
"We'll be late for dinner." I said standing up. Gita nodded. "yes, you're right. But I must say...I enjoyed talking to you Kahnna." She said smiling sweet once again. There was something about that smile..."--Hnna---you--isening-e?" I snapped out of my daze. "What?" I asked to hear her repeat what she had said.
"I said Kahnna are you listening to me." She repeated. "Oh yes. Um..what did you ask?" I said embarassed once again.
It seemed to me that Gita tends to keep me on edge. I blush quickly around her.
"I said I was enjoying our talk...I dont want it to be over truthfully." She said as we started for the manour. I looked at her. She really did seem sincere. "After dinner maybe we can talk some more in my room? I'll have claire fix us some chamomele." I said quietly.
She giggled. "It seems you like my company after all." She placed her hand breifly in mine. "Tea sounds divine. Cant wait till dinner is over." She rubbed her fingertips against mine quickly.
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I couldnt believe I've warmed up to Gita this quickly. Just the other day she had bothered me with just her presence alone. Now we are in my bedroom, drinking tea and conversating.
"You play?" Gita asked referring to my violin.
"Twelve years." I replied.
"Do play something. I love music." Gita said taking a sip of her tea.
"Alright." I got up and went over to the instrument. I took the bow and played a 'G', then I played a 'C'. I started to play a soft melody. I played better than usual. i think I did because somewhere inside me I wanted to please Gita. I wanted to impress her. Once I was done I sat back down. Gita clapped.
"Wonderful. It was beautiful. Did you know that the violin is the closest they got to imitating a human voice?" She asked. I thought about that. I thought hard about Gita's voice....
