Story: Whispered Endearment (chapter 3)

Authors: Omok

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Chapter 3

Title: Part 3: Coward

 "Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."

 -St. Augustine

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Part 3: Coward

-Jessie/Lyn

 

"Your hands are cold." Said Lyn.

"Yeah, they are." Jessie agreed in monotone.

Lyn got up from her seat and slowly proceed to stretch, while Jessie just sat there trying to drive her attention away from Lyn to the sounds of the mid-summer night wind. Yawning, Lyn said, "Gahh, I'm so tired." She sits back down on the bench, glancing at Jessie, noticing that Jessie looked kind of...sad. Perplexed, she asks, "So...what's on your mind?"

Instinctively Jessie was tempted to say ‘you' as a reply.

But too bad I can't.

Hiding a small sad smile, Jessie took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Knowing that Lyn was staring at her, she purposely took her sweet time to answer. She slowly started to mouth the word ‘you', but to Lyn's surprise and slight (unknown to her) disappointment, Jessie said "yuuulllll...." Smirking, "...school."

"Uh huh, school is a huge problem for you, especially when you have your 93.6 per cent average." Lyn paused for a moment debating whether she should ask the question again, "So...what really is on your mind Miss.93.6 per cent average student?"

"You're one trouble-some woman." Jessie said while rolling her eyes slightly.

But the older girl completely disregarded her reply and said, "Humm? So...?"

"Argh," think think, what can you say to her? "Eh...don't laugh. But I was thinking about trees." Which wasn't exactly a lie, Jessie really was thinking about trees in an horrible attempt to drive her attention away from the popular girl next to her.

Trees?! What kind of answer is that? Thought Jessie to her self, slightly amused at her own randomness and stupidity.

"You're such a weirdo, of all things, you're thinking about trees?" Replied the annoy and frustrated Lyn.

"What can I say? Trees are awesome, they're awesome like me." Jessie smiled. "Trees keep us alive, they, like, yeah...they make life and stuff possible."

"Uh huh, trees are so very awesome..." Lyn noticed that Jessie wasn't looking at her, she paushed and proceed to ‘turn' Jessie around so they're facing each other, repeating, "Trees are so awesome..." And Jessie was once again turned around, and not paying attention to Lyn. "LO-OK-AT-MEEE!" the older girl said each syllable of the words slowly and louder than before.

"Don't wanna." Answered the short-haired girl, stretching out the ‘wan' sound, still not looking at Lyn, she said "I'm looking at the wonderful trees in front of us." Smiling to herself, Jessie knows that she have just annoyed Lyn even more.

Lyn reached up once again, this time turning the taller girls' head towards her, not just her body. To make sure Jessie wouldn't turn away this time, she kept her hands there on Jessie's cheeks, while Jessie instinctively concentrated at the feeling of Lyn's warm hands against her face. "Odd...is it just me or did your cheeks suddenly rise in temperature?" Questioned a slightly puzzled short girl, but Lyn didn't bother to wait for a reply from the love-struck girl. "As I was saying," Lyn stares into the pair of ocean blue eyes that belonged to her friend, "for the third time now," smiling a little bit, making sure the younger girls' attention was completely on her, she withdrawn her hands from Jessie, pointing at her own eyes this time, "your trees are so awesome, they're making my eyes roll." Lyn rolled her eyes, and surely, Jessie saw it. Lyn smirked to her self at this small accomplishment.

"Umm...and you called me a weirdo?" The amused girl questioned her friend.

"YUP! Now...Tell me. Tell me what were you thinking about? And don't tell me trees. ‘cause that's a lie and we both know it."

Giving up, Jessie turned away from the shorter girl once again, "Why do you want to know so badly? It's not a big deal or anything." Jessie paused, then said, "...you're weird."

"Eh, no, you're weird. I just want to know..." Lyn paused, putting air quotes for the next two words, "The truth" Smiling, she continued, "You had a sad expression on your face. So I want to know what's making you sad. And no, it's not trees. We both know you don't give a damn about the environment. Well, not enough that you'd think about it randomly."

Jessie's eyes widened. Slightly surprised that the other girl noticed, she quietly laughed sadly at how the oblivious girl notices all the wrong things at the wrong time.

Irony Jessie thought.

Sighting, and giving up, "I was thinking about you." Jessie replied then proceed to a horrible attempt at tying to tune out the presence of the girl beside her. Listening to the sound of the wind, counting the ‘woosh' sounds that she heard.

"Oh?" Questioned a slightly confused, a bit surprised, very curious and just a bit afraid Lyn.

"Yeah..." Copying Lyn, she put air quotes around "...oh." Seven. It took her seven ‘wooshes' to reply, thought Jessie.

"So...?"

"‘So' what?"

"So...What were you thinking, that was about me?"

"Oh. That so."

"Uh huh, yeah that."

Smiling to herself, Jessie slowly answered the curious girl, "I was just thinking about..." she paused. Glancing at the shorter girl for a few brief moments, and then once again, turning away. "...about how heavy your head was, when it was on my shoulders." And the smell of your hair.

"...about how weird you are." And how you're my weirdo friend.

"...about how I'm stuck with you." And how it can't be forever.

"...about how small you are." And the feeling of your body against mine.

Some how, Lyn got the feeling that wasn't the whole truth. "That's it?!" Lyn asked.

"No." Answered Jessie in a whisper, closing her eyes again, Jessie truly ‘felt' everything around her. The feeling of Lyn against her, the warmth she's receiving from her slight body contact with Lyn. The feeling of vulnerability, helplessness, loss and...fear that's growing inside of her, consuming her as each second passes. She also noticed how her temperature was dropping. She was shaking.

"Are you okay Jess?" And of course, Lyn noticed all of the physical changes within Jessie.

Feeling too tired to talk; Jess merely mouthed her answer, which was a simple, "No."

This is it eh? Jessie laughed at this whole sudden mess. I can't believe this. Thoughts run through Jessie's head. I'm going to lose her today, July 8th.

"Get up." Jessie said after a long time of silence between the two high school girls.

"Why? You're not done answer my question."

"Just get up. You'll see. Unless you don't want me to completely answer your question?" Jessie said in a serious tone. I can't believe I'm doing this, thought Jessie.

The younger girl stood up first, extending her hands to Lyn to help her get up. After pulling Lyn up from the bench, Jessie didn't let go of her hands. "Now..." Jessie dragged the both of them away from the park bench, leaving their bags behind, making sure the both of them can see the park exit, incase one of them wants to run away afterwards. "Now...give me a hug." Might as well be the last hug I'll ever get from her, thought Jessie bitterly.

A puzzled expression clearly painted on Lyn's pretty features, but the girl didn't say anything. Taking that as a signal, Jessie slowly took a step towards Lyn and well...They just hugged. My last hug from Lyn, Jessie purposely lingered a bit longer than usual. After a few minutes, which didn't feel like it was that long at all to Jessie, they let go of each other.

Smiling to herself, Jessie felt like she wasn't going to have any regrets now, sort of. Though she knows, if (and expected) she was rejected, there will always be this hole inside of her that will never be fulfilled. Jessie proceed to completely detach herself from Lyn, looking in to Lyn's eyes, she can't help it but to imagine the possible expressions on Lyn's face afterwards. At least I get to see her funny expression. Ha-ha. "I don't know how to start."

"Well, anywhere. I don't bite." Lyn tried her best to give a reassuring smile.

"Eh, yeah you do bite." Jessie laughed a little to lighten the mood.

"Don't change the topic now lady." Lyn took a step forward, closer to Jess, and Jess took a step backwards, further away from Lyn. "Stop that. Come closer. You're like four meters away from me."

"That was the point." Jessie smiled sadly. "Do you really want to know? Like, what I was thinking about you? You know, both of us will regret this. Probably forever on my part." Jessie asked, staring into the eyes of Lyn, looking for reassurance.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Said Lyn.

"I'm going to regret this." Jessie whispered to herself. She took a few steps forward and reached arm distance with Lyn. "I'm really going to regret this." This time, saying it loud enough for Lyn to hear too. Closing her eyes, taking a deep breath, and opening her eyes again, this time, Jessie was staring intensively at Lyn, making Lyn even more curious.

"Tell me already."

"This is really hard."

"Not like you like me or anything." Said a still curious but now slightly annoyed Lyn. Waiting for an answer, after what felt like a few hours (in truth; just a few seconds), Jessie still didn't reply. "Right...?"

"No." Jessie said quickly. "I don't like you." Jess smiled to herself again. Another sad smile remarked Lyn. Jessie was feeling even more helpless, felt like everything was draining away from her. "I'm stuck." She paused closing her eyes. Taking another breath, "I'm stuck loving you."

Then Jessie ran. She just ran away like what cowards do.

[End notes: Author's Note: Well, sorries about the super lateness (if anyone cares.) xD As usual, please please catch my mistakes and tell me about them. If anything is illogical. Do tell me. I'm too lazy to edit this, and writing this today gave me a headache, so i want to avoid reading this (again) at all costs....(hahahaha i'm so lazy) :D but yeah. Hope you like this chapter. Read AND Review please. =) I really need fee back. x-x; (and yes. well, I said this was going to be the last chapter. I'm too lazy. xD hahaha. XD So eh eh; another chapter. Hopefully this time it'll be done soon.)]

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