Story: Invisible Walls (all chapters) — Deviant Hearts Archive

[Author's notes: This was originally a drabble (why are so many of my recent stuff originally just drabbles?) that I actually saw a good chapter fic possibility. No the chapter isn't long, sorry.]

Invisible Walls

Chapter 1: Intro to a Brick a Wall

The bitter lie that Thirteen continued to tell herself was this: She was not attracted to any of the women that she had or occasionally worked with. Except the truth was that she was. When she had first gazed upon Amber at Orientation her heart pounded and when she first met Cameron, her heart skipped a beat. Ah, but the creme de la creme was of course her boss's boss: Cuddy. Not only had the first sight of the older woman make her heart stop for a moment but it had also knocked the wind clean out of her, even if it all only happened in her mind. Something about the dark haired cougar had seemed perfect. What, was unclear to Thirteen, but it didn't matter because each sighting, each conversation, each presence, each passing glance was at anticpated as getting a hot shower every night after work. Obviously, it would be simple lunacy to even think that there would even be a possibility between the two, though this did not disuade Thirteen's mind from wandering there.

When House had issued the challenge to get Cuddy's panties, Thirteen's mind went into overdrive with images so pornagraphic that she had no idea that she even knew things like them. In the end, panic drove her into a bathroom stall for some time as she relieved herself of the dirty thoughts that were overwhelming her. Later, when she saw Cuddy after discovering she had been relieved of her panties, Thirteen swore she had dove to the ground and peeked up Cuddy's skirt. Again, it only happened in her mind, but she did twitch for the rest of the day whenever she saw Cuddy. The worst moment for her had to be when House fired her, picking Taub and that idiot over her. While she could deal with not getting the job, the thought that she would no longer see Cuddy tore a large hole in her heart. When her phone rang later that evening, she could not summon the strength to even look at it as it sat on her coffee table. Yes, she had gone straight home, unwilling to linger and futher torment herself with 'what ifs'.

Did she almost scream when a knock came at her door three hours later? Again, yes, but she bit her tongue and looked through the peek hole to examine her visitor. At the sight of Cuddy, she flung open her door, banging a hole into the wall behind the door. Cuddy's surprised expression would have been comical if Thirteen had not been so wrapped up in her own surprise. Hell, the hole in her wall barely registered!

"Did I come at a bad time?" Cuddy asked, looking behind the door at the hole.

"No! You just surprised me, is all." The words tumbled out in a blur.

Cuddy smiled and Thirteen could only stare with surprise still evident on her face. "I have good news for you. I've been trying to call you but you didn't answer, so I stopped by on my way home. You see, after talking with House, I decided that he could hire you as well. That is, if you still want the position?"

"I definitely want the position," was the reply from Thirteen, too quick for her to fully digest the question. See, she hadn't meant the question where she worked as House's lap dog and the fact that she had let it slip forced a deep blush on her face. Thankfully, Cuddy correctly misinterperted the reply as an innocent one born of surprise, though she reached out her hand to Thirteen's forehead at the sight of her blush.

"You feel a little warm," Cuddy commented. "You should rest and I'll perhaps see you tomorrow if you're feeling better, Dr. Hadley?"

A dumb nod recieved another smile from Cuddy and she was off down the hall of Thirteen's building. When she heard the distant bang of her building's front door, Thirteen closed her door and leaned against it. Placing her hand on her own forehead as Cuddy had did, she chewed over the encounter. Giddy all of a sudden, she brought her hand down and laughed out loud to herself. As if there would ever have been a better chance to throw herself at Cuddy! And she blew it! Closing her eyes, she shook her head to clear things. With some effort she came down from her high and glanced around her quiet apartment, it was then she noticed the hole in her wall.

"Shit."

*To be Continued*

Chapter 2

[Author's notes: This chapter is abit longer then the first, hopefully the next chapter will be even longer.]

Invisible Walls
Chapter 2: Four Left Corners Don't Make A Right

Contrary to popular belief, women thought of sex as often as men do, the difference is that they can hide it better. As for Thirteen, she was constantly battling the urge to throw herself at Cuddy whenever she saw her. Not only that but she was slipping into the bathroom to 'quench' her desire on a regular basis and it was starting to drive her insane. Quickly, she was having to decide whether or not she should say something, even if she does get rejected or fired. As for work, cases weren't constantly falling into their laps so the team found themselves regularly 'on break'. Too much free time led to too much time to think and fantasize about Cuddy. It was getting heavy for Thirteen's conscious.
"Hey, Cuddy said she wanted to see you." Taub said, popping into the team room.
"Huh? About what?" Thirteen asked, rising from her chair.
"I don't know." He shrugged and left.
Yes, she was now officially freaking out, at least inwardly. Thirteen spent a moment trying to calm herself, then another minute going through her memory for any possible errors she might have done in the past several days. Aside from slamming her hand in the shower and spilling a cup of water when a patient pushed past her in the halls, she couldn't think of anything. Of course, she wasn't perfect. Perhaps she filed some papers wrong? Or perhaps Cuddy simply wanted to ask her a question. Whatever Cuddy wanted her for probably wasn't serious since she sent the message through Taub. Walking to Cuddy's office now, her thoughts went into overdrive as they switched back to her fantasizies. By the time she got to Cuddy's office, she realized she was sweating and quickly passed a hasty sleeve across her forehead, opening the door.
"Good, you came." Cuddy said, smiling and motioning for Thirteen to sit. "I wanted to check on you."
"Check on me?" Thirteen repeated, unsure of what she meant.
"Yes. Is everything going fine with your position? We all know how much of a pain in the ass House can be." She frowned.
"Yeah. No, I'm fine. I really glad to be working for him."
"Are you really?"
"Yes. Everyone's got there quirks, House is no different."
Nodding in agreement, Cuddy frowned again, lost in thought for a second, she then blinked and smiled at Thirteen. "I'm sorry. I thought he might be up to something. He's been sneaking around and Taub saw him... Anyway, I'm sorry to have wasted your time."
"No! No, you didn't waste my time. I wasn't really doing anything anyway."
"What about your clinic duties?" Cuddy cocked her eyebrow in suspicion.
"I finished them an hour ago."
"Well then, perhaps you wouldn't mind helping me with something?"
Thirteen smiled and nodded. Expecting, Cuddy to pull out a bundle of papers and files, she was surprised when Cuddy stood and rounded the table, stopping in front of her. Bending over, Thirteen suddenly realized how low Cuddy's neckline was as her breasts all but spilled out. Her breath caught as Cuddy's hand reached out to her and gently, almost hesistantly, brushing against her right jaw and cheek. Clenching her jaw, Thirteen leaned into the touch wanting so much more but keeping herself in control, though just barely. At first, she dared not look Cuddy in the face afraid that somehow the spell would be broken, but she also realized that by not looking, she might scare Cuddy away. Meeting, her eyes, she noted the reflected desire, hunger, even fear. Yes, there was a chance for them but just as they began to warm up to the truth, a knock came at the door. It was House.
He entered without being invited, but he was looking over his shoulder giving the pair enough time to straighten up. Turning, he gave Cuddy a huge mischievious smile and pretended not to see Thirteen. Strolling in, House quickly closed the door and began to talk rapidly.
"If Foreman asks where I've been, tell him you were lecturing me about... I don't know, something you would lecture me about." He said.
"Like how much of an inconsiderate ass, you are?" Cuddy suggested.
"Perfect! Oh, and if he comes by looking for his clothes, tell him you haven't seen them."
"I haven't seen them."
"Duh! That's why you're going to tell him you haven't seen them!" House replied, smacking his forehead.
"Oh, and Thirteen, I need you to help me in the clinic."
"You mean, you need me to do your rounds?" Thirteen asked almost in disgust.
"Yeah, and make sure not to let Cuddy know." He said in a low voice.
"I'm standing right here, House." Cuddy said in irriation, crossing her arms.
Feigning surprise, House gasped. "I was just looking for you!" He exited before either women could say a word. Sighing, Thirteen stood from her chair, coming face to face with Cuddy. They didn't say anything, the moment had been spoiled, but the tension was there. That seemed hopeful to Thirteen as she mumbled an apology and left to deal with House's clinic duties. She cursed House's name the whole way there, furious at him. A million vengeful things came to mind but in the end she just sighed, depressed. No use in killing someone for cock-blocking, well, cunt-blocking is more like it.
Later, after clinic duties, she mauled over what had happened in Cuddy's office and wondered if there really would be a second chance. It began to seem unlikely the more she thought about it. Cuddy was a business woman first and foremost. Having been almost caught by House probably unnerved her, probably making her decide the best thing to do was drop it and move on as opposed to risking her professionalism. Yep, Thirteen decided, that was probably what was going to happen if it hadn't already. At home, she poured herself a cup of vodka, wanting some way to burn her day away. In the end, she drank half the bottle and passed out on her sofa.
*To be continued*

Chapter 3

Invisible Walls

Chapter 3 - Crashing Into the Side of a House

   Tension. It was there like a unsightly canker sore. Every time they passed each other in the corridors, or anywhere for that matter, tension was there, thick and heavy. Thirteen's desire for her boss's boss had become almost blinding, but she didn't know if Cuddy felt the same. As she had thought, Cuddy seemed to feign any interest in her, to the point of practically looking through her at times. Then it happened, unexpected and perhaps not as heavy as the tension that long had drowned her, but close enough.

    As it went, things were normal, chaotic, but that was the norm. Working in a hospital, chaos was expected on a minutely basis. The team was actually treating a whole family, two adults and three kids, all suffering from flu-like symptoms. Of course, those weren't their only symptoms, else the team wouldn't even be bothered by them. Two of the children were vomiting blood, needing operations to check for ulcers in their stomachs. The parents and the other child had dangerously high fevers and seemed to be sensitive to light.

    It was a very confusing case, but eventually they managed to get the patients stable and since some medication for heavy metals poisoning seemed to be working, the team was finally relaxing. Thirteen wandered away to the vending machines, feeling the urge to eat something crunchy and seriously craving a bag of chips. She was so focused on getting a bag of chips that Thirteen didn't notice Cuddy stepping into the corridor and subsequently, into her path. Promptly, she walked right into the older woman, losing her footing in surprise and tumbling with Cuddy down to the floor. Losing her bearings for a moment, Thirteen realized her face was pressed against something soft. It took another moment for her to realize she had landed face-first onto Cuddy's breasts. Snapping her head up, she stared in wide-eyed horror at Cuddy's face. There she found not anger, but a light blush and two deep eyes staring back at her. Hungry. Scared.

    "I'm so sorry, Dr. Cuddy!" She exclaimed, panicking at what she glimpsed.

    "No, it's okay. It was my fault, I wasn't looking where I was going." Cuddy said, not moving from her position under Thirteen.

    "No, it was my fault! I should have been paying more attention to my surroundings!" Thirteen said, still panicked. Trying to get up, she felt a soft, yet firm grip on her left forearm. Cuddy was holding her from moving away.

    "I said it was my fault and that's that." Cuddy said, her voice low and Thirteen realized she wasn't apologizing for their collision anymore.

    "No, it wasn't." Again, Thirteen tried to pull away and get up, but Cuddy held her harder.

    "Remy, I want to ask you something. If only you'll forgive me for ignoring you." So soft was her voice that Thirteen leaned forward to catch every word.

    Before either could say another word, the familiar thump of a cane and it's limping owner echoed down the corridor. Scrambling up, the two women stood, dusting off their clothing and mumbling apologies before House arrived to undoubtedly heckle them.

    "Well, either you two heard the news about Clay Aiken and were so overwrought with grief that fell atop of each other. Or you two are finally showing your claws and I should probably get something to hose you down with?" House remarked, eyeing the two women carefully and possibly, pervertedly.

    "We just walked into each other, House, that's all." Folding her arms below her breasts, Cuddy tried to make it clear that he should shut up.

    "Or was it that you two were gazing so lovingly at each other that you lost all sense of equilibrium and crashed into each other?"

    Rolling her eyes, Thirteen spoke up. "We fell, that's all!"

    "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to Cuddy's bosom, that's so graciously spilling out of her low-cut top."

    Flushing in anger more then embarrassment, Cuddy quickly pulled the front of her top upward. Turning quickly, she walked away in a huff. Watching her go, Thirteen could have cried in pure and utter frustration at another missed chance. Shaking his cane, House smirked.

    "I can see what you see her. With all that cleavage on display, anyone could get lost staring at it."

    "You know... Urgh!" Thirteen stomped off in the opposite direction, forgetting her cravings and focusing on her anger. Behind her, she heard House call, "Was it something I said?"

    Another missed chance. Another wall she had walked into. Crashed into rather.

*To be Continued.*

[End notes: A/N: Let's see, I wanted to point out the diagnosis of heavy metals poisoning and the symptoms of the family are just things I made up. Yeah, heavy metals poisoning is real but I made up the symptoms, so don't hold them up as real symptoms!

Oh, and Clay Aiken's gay, if you didn't already know. You know, because it was never blatantly obvious at any time beforehand... ::rolls eyes and coughs::]

Chapter 4

Invisible Walls

Chapter 4 - Finding the Door

   Grumbling to herself, Thirteen stared at the crossword puzzle in her hand. She had answered only two puzzle answers and was surprised to realize what she had written. The words 'Lisa' and 'Cuddle' stared back at her, taunting her with the obvious implication. Several moments passed before she finally stood and chucked the whole paper into the garbage can. It'd been a week since she and Cuddy had collided in the corridor. It'd also been a week since she had seen Lisa Cuddy. The doctor had taken a short sabbatical from work the day after their collision. It was a Jewish holiday, Thirteen couldn't remember which one but it had been almost a full week since she'd been gone. She suspected the Dean of Medicine would be back the following day but Thirteen knew she couldn't wait that long, not anymore. The stress was enough to kill a person. Now that, in a way, Cuddy had shown her mutual interest in her, Thirteen could not stand being unable to profess her own interest in the older woman. However, the thorn in her side had just blocked her escape route and leaned heavily on his cane, watching her calmly.

   "Where are you off too?" House asked.

   "To the bathroom." Thirteen lied, meeting his suspicious eyes.

   "You're lying."

   "So what if I am?"

   "No."

   "No, what? Now I need your permission to use the bathroom. That's a new low, even for you."

   "Cuddy's not home yet. She went to her parents' home for the holidays."

   "What makes you think even think I would cross such a line like that? You haven't overdosed on the Vicoden, have you?" She tried to make a joke to distract the moment, but it was obvious House would never bite a fish like that.

   House approached Thirteen slowly, stopping short of her and poked her with his cane.

   "Did you feel that?"

   "Yeah."

   "Good, then that means you're not the one on something."

   Thirteen flushed.

   "I suggest you wait until tonight before running over to her place like a love-starved loser and making a fool of yourself." He didn't look at her when he said this and Thirteen was too shocked to register that small detail.

   "Yeah, that's great, House. I really do have to go to the bathroom, so bye." Thirteen pushed past House before he could stop her again and made her long awaited exit from the doctor's lounge.

   She was too prideful to admit to House the truth. Yet, as always, he seemed to hit the nail on the head. If she didn't think he was truly brilliant, she may have hated him.

(xxx)

   Indeed, standing in front of Cuddy's door at exactly 9:30 that night, Thirteen felt like a love-starved loser and she hated that House had pointed that out earlier in the day. Still, she felt like this was something she had to do if she ever wanted any ease of mind. Even if Cuddy utterly rejected her within the next few moments, Thirteen knew she could probably sleep better because at least she had finally tried. However, her heart hoped greatly that she wouldn't be rejected. Sure, she'd sleep better for having aired her feelings, but her heart would be beyond fixing. Hesitantly, Thirteen built up the courage and knocked on Cuddy's door, fear gurgling up in her throat. Footsteps approached the door and Thirteen almost turned and ran. Cuddy wasn't the only surprised one as Thirteen inhaled sharply at the sight of the older woman.

   "Dr. Hadley, what a surprise." Cuddy said, once the shock had past. "What brings you here so late?"

   "Uh, I wanted to make sure you were okay." Thirteen said, mentally kicking herself.

   "Why wouldn't I be?"

   "You haven't been to work in a week." Again, mental kicking as she realized what she'd just said. "I mean, I know it was a holiday for you, and I just wanted to know if everything was fine. That's all..." She finished lamely.

   Cuddy's brow furrowed for a second, before she smiled shyly at the younger woman. "Would you like to come in for a bit, Dr. Hadley?"

   Biting at her bottom lip, Thirteen took a moment before answering 'yes' and entering Cuddy's domain. She took in the decor as she followed Cuddy, not to the living room but to the kitchen. It was large and cozy, a teapot was off to the side of the stove, smoke emanating from it.

   "Would you like a cup of tea? I just made it."

   "No. I'm fine."

   Pouring herself a cup, Cuddy turned and leaned against the kitchen counter, stirring in sugar. "So what's this really this about?"

   Unable to meet Cuddy's cool gaze, Thirteen stared at the cup in her employer's hands. "I wanted to tell you something for a while now."

   "Such as?" Cuddy set her cup down on the counter, feeling anxious.

   Overwhelmed with all the emotions she'd been harboring for Cuddy, Thirteen finally met her eyes. "I love you!" She inadvertently blurted out, relief and anxiety filling her.

   Eyes widening, Cuddy was completely taken back by the outburst. All along she thought she'd been the one in love with Thirteen. It seemed she had been completely incorrect. Here Thirteen stood before her, expressing the exact feeling she'd felt for her for awhile now. A smile caressed the curves of her mouth as she approached the nervous young woman. Surprised, Thirteen looked away from Cuddy as she saw her approach. Biting her lip, Thirteen hadn't been this nervous in years and she realized she couldn't meet Cuddy's gaze. Fingers against her face, forcing her to meet those suffocatingly beautiful brown eyes. Hunger washed over her and though she was still nervous, Thirteen couldn't take the pain of her desire any longer. She grasped Cuddy's hand, that was gently pressed against her cheek, and held it to her heart as she meshed her body against Cuddy's. The older woman didn't say a word, only looked back at the green eyes that were a lit with fire. A shiver ran through her as she felt Thirteen's heartbeat. Though she wanted to say something, words failed her as Thirteen pressed her mouth against hers.

   No protests as Thirteen's free hand snaked itself around Cuddy's waist, pulling them closer, trapping their hands between them. Cuddy wasn't just a captured prey though, her tongue fought it's way into Thirteen's mouth, exploring and reveling in its exploration. Her free hand first pressed against Thirteen's back, then grew bolder and slid down to her waist and played at the hem of her shirt. Surprised, Thirteen pulled away slightly, mostly for air, but also to study the older woman. Was it just spur of the moment desire? Sure, Thirteen had succumbed to that kinda of lust before, but she didn't want that to happen with Cuddy. She rarely ever saw the women she fell for in the spur of the moment, again.

   "Are you serious?" She asked, her voice small despite her bravado.

   Calmly, Cuddy nodded her head, but didn't answer aloud. She couldn't. Her words were lost in her own feelings for the younger doctor. The younger woman still looked unsure but she went ahead anyway, pushing Cuddy roughly against the wooden kitchen table. If things were going to progress further, she wanted to have as much fun as she could. Just in case. Her fingers worked nimbly over the buttons of her own shirt, kissing at Cuddy's lips and neck. When her buttons had given way, she shrugged the shirt off and grabbed at Cuddy's shirt, reluctantly pulling her lips away from the olive skin. Pulling the shirt off of the older woman, Thirteen took a moment to admire how perfect Cuddy's skin seemed beneath the shirt.

   "Remy?" The dean of medicine said, waving a hand in front of Thirteen's face.

   Blushing, she apologized and undid Cuddy's skirt, letting it drop to the floor as she freed the woman of her panties as well. Pushing Cuddy back, the older woman sat on the edge of the table, her legs pushed to either side of Thirteen, who pressed herself against Cuddy again. Kissing, Thirteen undid Cuddy's bra clasp and removed the final obstacle between her and absolutely nothing but Cuddy. Her desire so strong, she could feel the growing dampness between her own legs, close to coming just from feeling and seeing Cuddy naked. The older woman's fingers undid her bra and then pants, both items falling away as Thirteen trailed her way down Cuddy's neck and between the heaving of her breasts. She wanted the woman so badly that Thirteen wanted to touch her everywhere, anywhere, all at once. Even as she found herself kneeling before Cuddy's sex, her heart beat rapidly in mixed adrenaline and disbelief. Pausing, she looked up at Cuddy. The older woman was leaning back on the table, one arm propping her up so she could watch Thirteen in action. Her hair stuck to various places on her face and shoulders as she panted in desire and longing. This was the one moment Thirteen would always remember whenever she thought of Cuddy from that day on.

   "You're so beautiful." Thirteen mumbled before latching hungrily to Cuddy's sex. Though she didn't think Cuddy had heard her, a light blush came over Cuddy's face. It had little to do with the pleasure Thirteen's tongue was afflicting on her.

(xxx)

   The next morning found the two women, cuddled on the rug in the living room. A blanket that had been decoratively draped over the sofa was now covering them as they slept peacefully side by side. Cuddy stirred first, her inner clock telling her it was time to wake and getting ready for work. She looked over at Thirteen as she yawned and stretched a little and smiled. Gently, she brushed hair away from Thirteen's face, purposely drawing out the action. Since the beginning, she'd been interested in the young doctor, however, she remained professional, hiding her feelings. When news got around about Thirteen being bisexual, she had felt that maybe she had a shot but had no clue how to go about approaching the younger woman. Cuddy let her feelings go a little that day she had first brushed her fingers against Thirteen's face. However, she had panicked by being almost caught by House. The man had impeccable timing, she had to give him that. A moment could swing from calm to chaotic and vica versa when House was concerned.

   Thirteen slowly awoke and lazily rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she remembered what had transpired the night before. A wide smiled greeted Cuddy as Thirteen happily realized that it seemed promising between them. Though she wanted to kiss Cuddy right away, morning breath kept her at bay.

   "Does this mean that we're an item?" Thirteen asked, discreetly covering her mouth with her hand.

   "I hope so, otherwise work might be a little awkward." Cuddy joked.

   "So, how do we play this out during work then?" She was cautious, not wanting to get her hopes up if Cuddy wanted their relationship hush-hush at work.

   "Do you think I care what other people think?"

   "Yes."

   Laughter. "Okay, you're right. Let's keep it between us for a little while then once we're comfortable, we'll get more into PDAs. How's that?"

   "I'm already comfortable, are you really going to torture me like that?" Panic and anger arose in Thirteen. "Do you know how long I've wanted you? Liked you? Loved you? How long I hid my feelings? No. I can't keep pretending." Tears filled her eyes.

   Surprised, Cuddy ran her hand through Thirteen's hair. "I'm sorry. I didn't know." Hugging the younger woman, Cuddy felt her bad for making the suggestion. When Thirteen had calmed down some, she kissed Thirteen on the cheek. "You know what? Screw them. If we want to be affectionate in front the others at work, then we'll be affectionate."

   "Really?"

   Cuddy hesitated. "I guess it'll take some getting use to on my part, at least at first. You know, this is all new to me."

   "Being in love?" Though she was teasing, Thirteen was also serious.

   For a long moment, Cuddy said nothing, simply taking in the beauty of Thirteen's face. "Yes, I've been in love. Maybe it didn't last long, but the love was there. I meant that I've never been in love with a woman."

   "I guess being bi means I don't comprehend the difference. Man, woman... Why does it matter? It's love isn't it? Just because not everyone agrees with it doesn't mean that only they know something we don't. Love is all the same." Thirteen said, her hand tracing the contour of Cuddy's face, coming to rest on the nape of her neck.

   Blushing, Cuddy stared silently at Thirteen as she realized the wisdom in her words. "You're absolutely correct, Remy." A smile. "One thing though, about House..."

*To Be Continued*

[End notes: AN: Almost done with this fic. One chapter left and I'm planning on going all out in smut and House revenge. Bwhahaha! It shall be brilliant! >.> Oh, um, I mean... I hope you readers will enjoy it? <.<]