Chapter Six - Many lies, blocked truths and what is
It was Friday now, a day that had opened with heavy rains over the St. Tomas campus. It had started as just showers overnight, but now as the girls headed off to classes, it was like a sheet of pure liquid, coming down like a virtual torrent.
Wearing my school issued rain Pancho, I slugged through the rain to the school buildings just off to one side of the large open courtyard. The ground felt like a sponge under my feet, as the water had collected everywhere. I grimaced at the feeling of my shoes being wet, not being able to find my rain boots this morning, even after looking through everything I owned.. It made me feel miserable, and added to my very dark mood
It had been three days since I had seen Ashley, the pain that had been plaguing me was still there. My mood was about as dark as the skies over me, the rain soddening my feet was just the cherry on top . I felt as if I was one with those clouds that hung in the dreary morning sky, even though outwardly I had put on a face of being normal again. I knew doing that was just another lie, but how could I come out and say what had gone on?
May hustled up beside me, seemingly so happy to be out in this rain this morning. She stomped her rain booted foot in a nearby puddle, and was heard to giggle away with such glee as if she was a kid.
" Reminds me of when I was a little girl..." She said, watching herself walk through the deep water that was now like one large mud puddle around the school. " Forgot how fun rain was."
" You are finding this ‘fun’, don’t you?" I asked my friend with a sideways look at her.
" It is a total rush to do this... I think it is something as you grow older, needs to be done once in a while." She commented, with a playful smirk on her freckled face. " To remember to be free..."
I looked over at the redhead, and could not believe how perky she was this early in the day. I shook my head as I could not fathom it, my mind kept reminding me that my feet were very wet and cold by this time..
" It is not quite a ‘rush’ for me..." I replied.
" Ah, it’s all how you look at it..." She piped in, smirking impishly. " I could let the rain get to me... but why?"
I had to giggle at May, she was right... in her usual irritating perky sort of way.
" Your hyperness is killing me at the moment..." I said, through my laughing at her.
" Your starting to sound just like Kerri would, if she was with us..." She laughed out, looking at me.
" Is that a bad thing?" I asked her, with a real smirk on my face as may’s playfulness had picked up my mood a little.
" Nah..." May replied back, with a gleam in her eye. " If you are Kerri though... just shows you are hanging around her way too much."
I could not help but laugh at that, the impish grin May had given me at that moment the giggles. I shook my head.
" Your crazy..." I said back to the girl.
" I like the term ‘Constructively Weird’ a little better, My dear Jenny." She piped in, leaping into another puddle just off of the brick and stone path we were on... and landing with a big splash. " Sounds much better, and less whacked... don’t you think??"
I shook my head, finding myself liking the girl look on life. She may be very weird and always was more than a touch strange, but that was May... and I would not want her to be any other way. I just walked on towards school, and she hurried to catch up to me.
We followed the path to the main doors of the school building, shr was still being very animated as she tried to catch raindrops on her tongue. May’s continuous bouts of craziness this morning had put me into a little lighter of a mood...something that had been next to impossible for the last few days.
Once inside the building, I was quick to retrieve a second pair of shoes and knee-high socks from my locker. I always had stashed away a extra pair of each for such an emergency... Now with the grounds of St. Tomas starting to look like it was getting ready for another Noah and the Ark experience, I was glad that I had planned this out awhile back. Wet shoes and socks were a pet peeve of mine.
May just headed off to her locker just down from where mind was, after a wave and a giggle. I concluded that yes, May was one of those people that simply had to stand out...which was her charm. I gathered up all of the books and stuff for the day, waiting for May to return so we could walk upstairs together.,
As I waited next to my locker, I started to wonder where Kerri and Heather were this morning. It was nothing out of the ordinary to have either one of them show up later than me, but it did hit me for some odd reason this morning. I don’t really know why it jumped out at me, but it was there
My first period class had not started yet, when I got to the room. I took my seat at the far end of the room beside the windows, sort of ready to learn a thing or two about twentieth Century literature. On a day of rain like it was, it sort of was the thing top do. I laughed at myself for that, seeing that I actually was wanting this class to start.
Still mulling over things in my head like I had been for the past few days, I was finding that it was beginning to get a little easier to push some of it aside. Some of the hurt was still very much there, but it was getting a little easier to handle. I sighed and just waited, listening to the hum of the students as they passed the time waiting gabbing to one another.
Sister Alexandra, our Literature teacher came in and started to get herself ready for the coming class at the front of the room. I watched the slightly middle aged woman as I kept my mind occupied, noting just how organized this penguin was. I eyed her half smiling face, and found that it made me smile a little as well
Sister Alexandria Benson was a very firm handed teacher, one that was truly a by the rules sort of Nun. She was one of my favourite nuns, I had to admit. She was not as abrasive or stern like some of the other Nuns were... If you simply did your work like you were suppose to, always try fairly hard and listened up in class, she was easy enough to get along with.
The Sister suddenly moved from her desk at the front and came over to me. The woman’s smile was actually very warm and inviting this morning. I looked up at the Nun, not quite knowing why she was headed in my direction
" Jenny..." She said, greeting me with her eyes. " I have a wee favour to ask of you, before we get started today..."
I smiled and bowed my head a little, showing the reverence we needed to towards all of the Nuns.
" What is it, Sister?
" I have a small job for you to do for me..." She said, so I waited for her to say what it was.
The Nun leaned on my desk, her habit flowing forward and framing her wrinkling face so her warm eyes were the focal point..
" Once I have taken rollcall here, I was wondering if you would take the attendance report of any tardy people and others whom seem to be skipping out down to the office for me?" She whispered, which was the usual way she talked when talking one on one with anybody.
" You want me to do that?" I asked, feeling instantly stupid that I had responded like that.
Sister Alexandria looked at me for a moment, probably because my reaction had startled her a little.
" That is what I said, Jenny..." She beamed, realizing why I had the shocked look on my face. " I know that if I let you take these cards down to the office, you the one student in this class that will come back promptly, and not be like the ones that would just constantly dallies."
" I can do that for you, Sister..." I said with a smile, bowing my head slightly again.
" I will call you up, when I am ready for you to do that for me..." She said, her broad smile seemed to be extra bright this morning.
She returned to her desk to ready for the class that was now only a few minutes from starting. I felt a rush of my body relaxing. I guessed that with the trust the woman was putting in me, it made me feel kind of important. It’s amazing what the feeling of someone trusting you could do for a person’s moods.
I put the attendance cards in the little box on the counter stood there for a moment, feeling good that I had helped out a little bit. The older Nun behind the desk nodded, but said nothing as she gathered them up and took them where ever they went.
" Mission accomplished!" I giggled to myself as made my way out of the head office
It had been a longer walk from my class than I had remembered it to be, but I made sure that I was as quick as I could have been. Finished the little task for Sister Alexandria, I made a purposeful decision to hurry and return up to my class. Quickening my steps as I headed away from the office, I made my way through the deserted hallways of St. Tomas to return to class.
It was weird to be walking through the empty halls like this, but I seemed to feel almost a sense of pleasure as I did. It was actually feeling very calming, almost soothing while I made my way through the maze that was the school. I appreciated the silence that was around me, and could now understand why some people would take their time getting back to class.
I decided to take a rarely used staircase that I knew that was just past the janitor’ area at the end of the art hallway. That whole area had just finished being renovated a week ago, so there would be no classes going on until sometime next week or so after they had been restocked with supplies. I thought it would be a great idea to make better time up to the class and show my respect I had for Sister Alexandria.
I was going through the Art hall, smelling the freshness of the new paint that had been used in the renovating. It was actually kind of stimulating to smell the paint, and made me look forward to my own art classes that were going to start up again. It had been well over two months since anyone had a Art class... I knew many students that were waiting for that to finally come
I happened to glance through the only open door that was in this hallway that led to the stairwell I was going to use. What I suddenly had caught sight of, froze me to the spot... my mind trying to grip what my eyes had came upon.
There was a man and a girl in that open art room. The young gal was laying on top of one of the long tables that were a staple in the art areas, and she was totally naked except for her skirt. I could see that her skirt had been shoved over her hips and nearly was up around her breasts. The remainder of what I knew was her uniform, I could see was had been thrown all over the tile floor under the table.
The man, who I recognized as one of the part time janitors here at St. Tomas, had his pants down at his ankles and was standing between the young girl’s lean legs as they hung over the edge. The man was moving his hips, pumping away like a triphammer while his unshaven face shone sweat as he moaned loudly. The girl seemed to also be in the throws of something as she was arching up in what seemed to be ecstasy. The two were making these types of noises that were almost animalistic, raw and actually felt unnerving to me.
I never have seen a man and woman having sex before, but knew enough from books I had came across and other things I saw on television to know what they were doing. I could not make myself even move an inch, half shocked and sort of half intrigue at what I had inadvertently stumbled on to.
The man was thrusting his hips like crazy into the girl, while he spat such vial things to the girl as he rammed himself into her. She seemed not even to mind the crudeness this man was speaking to her, as the sounds of her panting away could be heard very clearly... even from where I was standing in the hallway. I was starting to feel extremely awkward just being there and watching like some hypnotized person... even though all I wanted to do was just leave.
I finally started my turn to leave, and continue on to my class... while trying not to alert this you couple that I had been watching them like I had been. . As I looked over one last time, I saw the girl on the table turned her head, and she had seen me. I was stopped again, as I saw her sweat streaked face for the first time.
I was shocked to see that the girl on the table was in fact the girl I had been dreading bumping into for days. There was no mistake who this girl was either... it was clearly Louise Anderson. I was stunned, as I had not seen this girl since I had found her in between Ashley’s legs that horrible night... and now I was even more shocked now that I found this girl in an abandoned part of the school... and she was with a man no less.
The girl cracked this almost lewd smile right at me as the man who was with her grunted and stiffened in mid movement. I could see that the man’s whole body was now shaking as he pounded away even more furiously on her. As suddenly as he had started to shake, he just simply stopped. The man then stepped away, grunting in satisfaction to himself as he did.
" You are such a fucking little slut..." He said with a sneering laugh, as he looked down at her.
With that one comment, the man never saw me standing there with a blank look on my face. All he did then was pulled up his pants and walked off... headed to the back of the classroom with an arrogant stride in his step. He quickly vanished into a metal door that was at the very back of the classroom, leaving Louise splayed out... naked and panting on the long wooden table.
I stepped back to try and leave, but the girl on the table already knew I was there.... her eyes seemed to now be locked onto mine. I wanted to run away, but I could not for the life of me simply move my legs to get out of there.
Louise sat up and hopped off the table, her face having such a evil type of smirk on its smooth skin. She stood there for a moment, not even trying to gather up her discarded clothing as she looked right at me... instead she actually kicked off the skirt as she began to walk towards me,
With in moments, she was standing in front of me naked and unflinching with that fact. As she looked at me with this strange glint, I was sickened by the fact that I could see little white droplets oozing down the inside of her legs, from her private region.
" It seems that you like watching me fucking I think... you have seen me twice now..." She smugly said, seeing that I saw what I was seeing. " Perhaps you are a voyeur or something..."
I shook my head, horrified at what I had blundered onto. With every passing second, I was becoming more sickened by the look that Louise had in her dark brown eyes as she stared at me.
" You just... you know... with that man..." I stammered, not knowing quite what to say... or just how I could get myself to run away.
" You cant eve get out the question ‘Was I fucking that man?’" She said so coldly, her eyes holding a smug pleasure in them as she mindlessly played with one of her bare nipples. " Just say it...."
" But you are with Ashley..." I blathered out, feeling the distaste of what this girl was doing... even though I was still hurt by what I had seen before this.
" How simply sweet of you to say it like that?" She asked, looking at me like I was beneath her.
" Well, are you not?" I said, seeing her coldness.
She smugly snuffed and looked at me, her eyes showed that she had no emotions or feelings in them.
" Your so innocent, it makes me sick..." She spat. " She is just a pussy to me... but she is a damned good one at that... " Louise said flatly, looking at me. " And Mr. Fuck-me-silly here, is nothing more than dollar signs to me... just like Ash is..."
" Just a..." I stammered in my surprise, getting what she was saying.
I could not believe what I was hearing. Was she actually using both that creepy looking man and Ashley, and for the basic reason of greed? My mind spun with it
" You are just using Ashley just for that?"
Louise smirked, giving me a look that chilled my very soul. Louse then took a step closer to me, her smug smile now was broader than it had been.
" Why not... she is pretty, sexy and so fucking rich... and with the added bonus of her family having major power in and out of everything..." She said. " I can get her to do anything for me... and with her money, I can have anything I want, when I want it. The sky is the limit.... "
" That is sick...’ I said. " Your using Ashley..."
She then smirked, seemingly so pleased with herself.
" The best part of it is that I will have something to blackmail her with at some time in the future." She said. " Her family will probably pay some big money to keep the fact that their little angel had turned out to be a dyke in school."
" You would... do something like that?" I stammered, getting what she was saying.
" I can get anything I fucking want out of this situation......" She cooly said.
" But...what about that man?" I said, referring to the man I had caught her with a few moments ago..
" Mr. Johansson there pays me rather well for what I do for him, sort of getting a bonus as well... he has a schoolgirl fetish.. and I just am lucky enough to cash in on him." She laughed with so much callousness, the nodded. " Sweet Ashley is a guilty little pleasure of mine as well as a means to an end... which works out perfectly. I use them, and get exactly what I want as well!"
I shook my head in disbelief at what I was hearing. I felt sick to my stomach, as Louise calmly admitted her plans to me.
" That is just so sick..." I spat out, feeling such a deepening revulsion towards this girl.
" You are just so naive..." She smirked. " You still believe in love and shit like that. Realize something, little girl... that is nothing more than crap, and get as much as you can with what you’ve got..."
I cold not believe how cold this girl was speaking of Ashley. I looked at that girl’s face, and saw how her eyes seemed almost dead and piercing, as if her soul was nothing more than black marble.
" What your doing with that man is like prostitution, if your taking money like that..." I stammered.
" That is how to live here in Catholic hell..." She came back with, smirking with a glinting in her eye, calmly fingering her private area as she spoke.
" Selling your body like that, and doing it behind Ashley’s back?" I said.
Louise suddenly started to laugh, a laugh that sent cold fingers up my spine.
" I have been screwing her tasty cunt for awhile now... but she always had it in for you, she has admitted more than once to me... no matter though, I pity that she felt that way for you.... What I do for her is better than what you can do, I just made sure that she knew it." She smirked. " I get the benefits of being good."
" She liked me still?" I stammered, but knew those words had not been told to me in kindness.
" She was going to leave me for you, that was her intention the night I went to her room... but, what I did to her sweetness changed her mind." She smirked. " She tasted extra sweet, and I was so turned on when you came in on us... I knew right then that I had won."
I shook my head, hearing how matter-of-fact this girl was telling me all of this. The girl seemed not to even care for Ashley, or anyone else... only for herself. I felt my stomach flip again,
" You’re a very evil person..." I said, assured that this girl was just that.
" Just someone who knows what she wants... and how to get it..." She flatly said to me.
I went to walk away, my mind knowing that it would be hard to warn Ashley of this person. I knew that Ashley might not believe me at first... or she just may not chose not to at all. I had to say it, the pretty blonde girl had every right to know everything, and the right to dismiss me at any time... but she needed to know.
Louise stepped in front of me and pushed me against the wall of the hall. She pinned me there, and smirked
" You are thinking of going off to tell on me, I bet..." She said.
" Ashley has the right to know why your with her, and that you are cheating on her in such a wretched way..." I said back, confident in my words. " ... And the Head mother would be interested in knowing what her custodian was doing as well."
" I don’t think you will be so quick to be so damned moral like you are doing...’ She murmured, smiling as if she was not in any trouble at all. " The truth has a way of dying around here..."
" Why do you think I won’t, just because you said that?" I spat back, seeing that evil glint in the girl’s eyes.
The short brown haired girl looked right at me, her eyes flashing as she looked right into my face.
" Ashley was the one who cheated on me... with you..." Louise said, looking at me. " But, I forgave her in my own way... really I did not mind that you two were fucking in the first place, but I so hate the prospect of losing what I had though... a girl needs to live, you know."
" She will drop you in an instant, and then you will be expelled as well..." I said, ignoring her. " I will see that you are... your twisted and sick!"
Louise shook her head with confidence, laughing at me as if I was nothing to her.
" I don’t’ think so, Bitch..." Said the naked girl, as she grabbed my private place through my skirt. " Say it all... hell, yell it from the steeple in the church... It will not matter..." She hissed at me. " You will only end up looking like a scorned lover or some misguided girl who will stop at nothing, even lies toward the one she wants... nobody will believe you..."
" I will only tell what I have seen..." I defiantly said. " Truth is a powerful thing..."
" Tell the truth, right..." She smirked. " No one will listen yo you..."
" Yes..." I said, standing to her, trying to ignore her groping hands.
Oddly, the girl burst out laughing at me, putting her face right up against mine as she did.
" I don’t think so either... neither Ashley or the Head Mother will ever believe you!" She smirked again. " What would happen if it got out that you were a goddamned dyke here...what would the penguins think of that? How would you explain that fact to your so proper family? What would everyone here at school think of you then?" She laughed again, and made sure I was locked into her gaze. " I don’t think that any of your so-called friends would be even the remotely supportive of you then... don’t you think?"
I gasped as she gripped my crotch, feeling how strong she actually was. Her fingers were now moving, fingering my privates place through the fabric that was the only barrier. She seemed to relish the fact that I was a little shocked at this.
" Humm..." She said, her hand now was rubbing where it was. " Feels like your little snatch there is quite nice there as well.. And I know a thing or two about snatches!!"
" Let go of me..." I said, moving her hand a little away from where it was, but partially successful at it..
" I know you like this... from what Ashley said to me..." She breathed, moving her hand back and was starting to try and snake up the front of my skirt. " Let me show you, the pleasure I give Ashley... so you know that you have no possible chance in hell with that juicy little slut."
I pushed her away from me, as her hand had started to try and make it’s way through the leg hole of my panties. She laughed and looked at me, as I stopped it..
" Guess it’s your loss there..." She said. " I was going to give you a little pleasure, after I have deflated you here so badly." She laughed. " You have no recourse here... but I will please you with a gift of myself... A sort of a offering that does make something out of your nothing... all you have to do is ask.... since you have lost everything else there..."
" I would die first..." I said, sliding away from her finally.
She chuckled again, shaking her head at me like as if I was nothing but something on the bottom of her shoe.
" Well, I expected you to be pathetic, as I always thought you were..." Louise said with a sharpness, standing still in front of me so unabashed at her unclothed state. " You just shown me just how goddamned pathetic you really are... and it is sad to see a girl of St. Tomas like this..." She snuffed. " I wonder what Audrey even saw in you..."
The girl began to laugh with such a malicious type of glee while returning into the room, slipping into ignoring me as she did. I shut my eyes and lowered my head, knowing very well that Ashley had me in a corner... and her words had slapped the heck out of me. I was now in essence... had been silenced by everything the girl had said. In the card game of life, she had all of the winning hands right now.
I ran off down the Art hallway, wanting nothing more than to get away from that girl. I hit the heavy door at the end that led to that mainly unused stairwell, all the while I heard her laughing as I did. I closed my eyes and continued, her laughter was like acid to my heart... her laughter was much more painful.
I found my feelings were still very much alive for Ashley... something I had thought had been long gone after that night I caught her with Louise. Whether it was the wicked realization of truth that Louise had confessed to me, or the fact that my feelings had never left or changed with the situation... All I knew was I was now feeling the depth of how I still cared for that beautiful blonde girl.
I held my head as I raced off almost blindly away from the now oddly silence that draped the Art room hallway. Waves of varying thoughts and revelations were now battering my soul, all of it now was almost too much for me to handle. It seemed to me like everything, and everyone including God, was against me. Nowhere to turn... and no one to hold out a hand in help.
I got scolded the moment I came in to the class again, for disrupting everyone. I tried to stammer out an apology to Sister Alexandria, but my lips could get not a single word to pass them. I could only listen to the Sister, but even that showed that no words were entering me either.
The Sister gave it to me for a few moments for my lateness of returning to class, but ended up not make too much of a big deal out of it. I was thankful for that little gift, as I did not know how much more I could have taken after all of this.. I was in a state that was beyond what I could even explain... even of I was going to do that
I tried to get into the lesson that was being taught to the rest of my classmates, but my mind was too jumbled. I felt so much All over again.