Disclaimer (do people still do these?): I own nothing.
Chapter 3: That Big Bastard, Seiya
I stood there staring at Michiru. I didn’t know what or who she was most pissed off at, my parents or the fact that I was expected to make ‘noises’ with Mamoru that night. Mamoru didn’t look thrilled about having to make ‘noises’ with me either. I was suddenly glad about shopping at that porn shop the day before with Michiru.
“Relax you two,” I told them, “we won’t be making ‘noises’ tonight. Don’t you remember that ‘Erotic Bedroom Noises’ CD I bought at that porn shop yesterday, Michi?” I turn to Michiru to see her blush. Yes she remembers that CD, and all the other things we bought.
“But won’t the man and woman be screaming different names on the CD? They probably won’t even sound like us.” Mamoru points out. Too bad for him I already thought of that.
“We’ll tell my parents the names yelled out on the CD are our nicknames. As for not sounding like us, no one sounds the same when doing that.” I turn to Michiru who blushes harder. I just love to embarrass her like that. “So why don’t we all head up to bed now.” We all head upstairs. Michiru goes to a guest room while Mamoru and I head into mine and Michiru’s room. I lock the door behind me.
“Hey, I thought we weren’t doing anything.” Mamoru seems a bit worried. What is it about me that turns him off so much anyways.
“We’re not doing anything!” I told him, “It’s so my mom doesn’t walk in to find us not naked or even in the same bed for that matter.” Mamoru looks around the room.
“But there’s only one bed.” He pointed out. I walked over to the closet and pull out a sleeping bag.
“There’s you’re bed.” I told him. He stares at me, then the sleeping bag, then back at me. He does this for awhile before giving up and getting in the sleeping bag. Now that that was settled, it was time to play the ‘Erotic Bedroom Noises’ CD. I put it in and press play. I turn the CD volume to full blast. All that can be heard is moaning and a bed creaking.
“Perfect.” Mamoru said, “Your parents will never suspect a thing.” I nod.
“Now to find out what our fake names will be.” I said. A few seconds later the man moans out “Haruka”. “Well looks like I won’t need a nickname, let’s see about you” I look over to Mamoru. We turn back to the CD player just in time to hear the woman moan “Seiya”. I pretty much flipped when I heard that. “WHAT THE HELL!” I yelled. The CD ended when I yelled that, which was good since I threw the CD player out the window right after. Mamoru was laughing in his sleeping bag.
“Oh Haruka,” He laughed, “I never knew how much you loved Seiya till now.” He rolls around laughing. I threw my pillow at him.
“Shut up, baka!” I screamed, “This isn’t funny. I would never do anything so nasty with that bastard! Whoever made this CD is sick!!” I go on a rampage through the room. Why, oh why, did it have to be Seiya? Why not something like, oh I don’t know, Daisuke? Hell, even some foreign name I can’t even pronounce would have been better. Still angry, I go to bed, having dreams about strangling Seiya.
The next morning we all got up pretty damn early. To early for my likings, 10:00. Michiru and Setsuna both giggle when they see me.
“Morning Haruka,” Setsuna said in between giggles, “Did you have fun with Seiya last night.” I growled at her but she continued to giggle. “That has got to be the funniest ‘noises’ I ever heard coming from your room.” I bonk her in the head just as my parents come down.
“Morning, everyone!” My mother greeted us. She looks funnily at me. “Haruka, be nice to Setsuna.” She scolded and pointed her finger at me. Great, I feel like a three year old again. “By the way, who’s Seiya? You don’t mean the one in the Three Lights?”
“No, Seiya is just Mamoru’s nickname.” I told her. God, why did it have to be Seiya. This couldn’t get any worse. Or so I thought. The door bell rang. Michiru heads to the door and answers.
“Seiya-san! Taiki-san! Yaten-san! It’s great to see you again!” She says from the door. My day had just gotten worse. Why the hell were they here anyways? Who invited them?
“Oh, so you are friends with the Three Lights.” My mom says. She and dad run out to great them. They return I awhile later with the Three Bakas.
“Hey there Haruka,” Seiya said, “Why are you so grumpy? Not getting enough of the good stuff in bed?” I abruptly punch him square in the jaw, knocking him out. He deserved it anyways. How dare he walk in here and ask such a thing? He’s just lucky to be alive.