Story: The Three Steps to Being Gay (all chapters)

Authors: Tache

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Chapter 1

Hi again

   Hi there everyone! This is a story I originally published in my one shot collection of outer senshi fics. I decided I would post this part of it here. Enjoy.


   Disclaimer: I don’t own Sailor Moon.


   The Three Steps to Being Gay


   I arrived home one night in complete frustration. I had yet another unsuccessful date that night. All the guy cared about was sex. What the hell? We had just met! How could he be thinking about that already? I sighed as I walked into the house. Haruka and Michiru were busy necking on the couch when I walked in. Why must they always rub it in? I coughed to get their attention. They both blushed when they noticed me.


   “Ah, hi Setsuna! How’d your date go?” Michiru asked in embarrassment. Wouldn’t you like to know? It looks like your ‘date’ went better then mine did.


   “Terrible. The guy only cared about having sex.” I told them.


   “Ah, don’t we all?” Haruka said. I gave her a cold glare and Michiru lightly smacked her on the arm.


   “Be nice to the poor girl.” She scolded. She turned to face me. “Oh Setsuna, this is the fifth unsuccessful date this month. You just have no luck with men.” Haruka chuckled. What was she thinking now?


   “Maybe that’s because she doesn’t like men.” She said. OK, what has she been drinking tonight? I thought she knew better then to just assume everyone is gay.


   “I’m not gay.” I told her. She only smirked at this.


   “Are you sure you’re not. You may just be stuck on step one on the three steps to being gay.” She told me. What was she talking about now? I had better stuff to deal with.


   “And what are the three steps to being gay?” I asked in annoyance.


   “Step one: Denial.” She said. So I was in denial was I? I’ll show her denial! “Step two: Acceptance.” She continued. She better accept her fate of having the time staff shoved up her ass if she doesn’t get to the point. “Step three: Sex.” She finished. Why did everything lead to sex? I swear, all people care about is sex. I sighed in frustration.


   “And what is your point?” I asked her.


   “That you’re in denial, but with mine and Michiru’s help, you’ll be in step three in no time!” She said happily.  God, why did I not like the sounds of this?



   The next morning, I woke up and went downstairs for breakfast. Haruka and Michiru were already downstairs. I looked around. Strange. It felt like something was missing. I then realized what it was.


   “Where’s Hotaru?” I asked.


   “She’s visiting Chibiusa today.” Haruka told me. “I figured what we’re doing today to get you to step two wasn’t appropriate for her.” Huh, step two? Step two of what? I then remembered what happened the previous day. They weren’t trying to make me gay, were they?


   “And just what exactly are we doing today?” I asked nervously. Haruka just smirked.


   “You’ll see.” She said. I did not have a good feeling about this at all. Maybe I should just hide in the time gate today.



   That afternoon, I found myself in a strip club with Haruka and Michiru. All around me naked girls danced around. I stared at my drink, refusing to take my eyes off it. Haruka was busy jumping up and down screaming. Who would have ever thought she would act like this? She glanced at me with disapproval.


   “Come on Setsuna, take you’re eyes off your drink. You’ll never get to step two at this rate.” She told me. Why was she doing this again?


   “And what if I don’t want to get to ‘step two’?” I asked her. She sighed.


   “Do you want to be one of those people that takes step one to the grave with them?” She asked me. What? Is she talking about straight people? I glanced to the chair beside me.


   “Huh, where’d Michiru-san go?” I asked. Haruka and I looked up on stage and saw Michiru dancing with the strippers, shoving money in their G-strings.


   “Now why can’t you be more like her?” Haruka asked me. Maybe I can’t because I’m not a pervert, but then again who would have thought Michiru would be a pervert?


   “Hum, maybe we should go somewhere else.” Haruka suggested. Please, anywhere but here. Anywhere had to be better then here!



   An hour later, we were sitting in a lesbian club. Well, at least the women here were keeping their clothes on. I had yet another drink in front of me. This was my forth one this day. Haruka and Michiru both sat beside me. They had their arms around me and were coaching me for some reason.


    “Look at that one, Setsuna-san! She’s totally your type.” Haruka said.


    “Nah, I think that one would be better for her.” Michiru pointed to some butch woman. Well, she did look like a guy.


   “Yeah, go talk to her, Setsuna-san!” Haruka told me and pushed me over to the butch woman. I bumped into her since Haruka had pushed me so hard. She turned to face me, with interest written over her face. I was in trouble now.


   “Hey there, I’m Kimura. What’s your name?” She asked me. Should I tell her? Well, what was the worst that could happen?


   “I’m Setsuna.” I told her. She smirked at me again. God, she better not be as perverted as that guy I dated last night. She placed her hand on my back.


   “Wanna dance?” She asked me. Now she wanted me to dance? Wasn’t this going to fast? I glanced over at my friends. They were giving me the ‘go for it’ face. I sighed and turned back to Kimura.


   “I guess.” I took another sip of my drink as Kimura led me to the dance floor. She led me in our dance. I had to admit, she was a good dancer. After we had finished dancing she led me back to her table and ordered me another drink. She turned to face me.


   “So tell me about your self.” She said. Great, what was I supposed to say?


   “Well I’m a woman.” I said. She chuckled at this for some reason.


   “You mean you’re not a transvestite?” She laughed hard. Ha ha, very funny. That’s almost as bad as that Mamoru is me in drag joke.


   “Well I also live with my two lesbian friends and for some reason they think I’m a lesbian and dragged me here.” I said. I took another sip.


   “Well women are more sexy then men.” Kimura wink at me. I chuckled nervously and took some more sips. I hope nothing bad will happen.



   The next morning I woke up with a killer headache. What the hell had happened last night? I remember drinking a lot. Damn, I must have a hangover. I couldn’t remember a thing. I then noticed I was naked. Why was I naked? I then noticed something beside me. This could not be good. I pulled the covers off to find a naked woman there. I suddenly remembered last night. Damn, I ended up sleeping with that Kimura woman. She slowly started to wake up.


   “Morning Sunshine.” She said when she said me. How was I going to get out of this? This could not get any worse. Suddenly Haruka and Michiru burst in. I screamed and covered my chest.


   “What the hell are you guys doing?” I screamed at them. They looked at me proudly.


   “Wow! We just set out to get you to step two and you end up at step three. Congratulations!” Haruka said.


   “I can’t believe my little girl is finally becoming a woman!” Michiru wailed. God, these two were insane. I got dressed quickly and left the room.


   “I’ll be gone for the rest of the day.” I said and headed off to a long day at the time gate.


   The End!



[End notes: Thank you for reading!]

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