In Her Burning Eyes
Chapter Three: Living The Dream
Things are rarely as easy as you expect them to be but this situation came with more troubles than I ever could have imagined. They always make it look so easy in the movies...
It's amazing how much a dream come true can resemble a nightmare at times... but even then I wouldn't have traded it for the world because no matter how hard things get, a love that's strong enough can always... always... endure.
--
Catching up on old times...
--
For the second time in two minutes I cringed at the sound of snapping wood as Haruka tried to force two parts of the crib together.
“Rei-chan...” I could hear Usagi's intake of breath and instantly knew that just like everything else that had gone wrong recently, “...this is all your fault!” she wailed as she waddled into the room. Despite her frustration, she still managed to pause long enough for me to kiss her swollen tummy as she stormed over to the half finished crib. “Look at it! You've broken like twenty pieces! It's ruined!”
“Only two pieces, sweetie, and she's the one who broke them!” I said, pointing to the short haired blonde who was trying to blend into the background to avoid any leftover wrath. “What gives, Haruka? I thought you were good at this kind of thing!” Usagi swung around to glare at the woman who instinctively slid back a little further.
“Hey now, I never said I knew anything about this, I'm only good with cars and stuff. I'm sorry, Usako, I really am!” I would have chuckled if I hadn't known it would only make Usagi even angrier, it sounded like Haruka was pleading for her life.
“Can it be fixed?” Usagi asked darkly. Haruka nodded furiously but I couldn't tell if she actually thought it could or was just trying to save herself. Usagi's face suddenly lit up with a wide smile. “Good!” she said, clapping her hands together cheerfully and giggling. “Well, I'm gonna go help Michiru whip you girls up some tea and sandwiches!” she exclaimed happily as she waddled out of the room, pausing for another tummy kiss as she did.
“Those personality changes are scary!” Haruka said with a low whistle when Usagi was out of earshot. “You're a braver woman than I could ever be.” I chuckled to myself, still staring out the doorway after her. “I'm serious! I thank my lucky stars we came across Hotaru like we did. Just imagining Michiru pregnant is enough to give me chills!”
“Yeah right,” I said, sticking my tongue out at her. “You'd be fawning over her day and night and you know it! Besides, it's really kind of sweet in a way. It's just her way of showing love right now.”
“I don't hear working!” Usagi sang from the other room, somehow managing a perfect mixture of sweet and threatening at the same time.
“Now let's hurry and get this done before she poisons our food or something!”
--
After making sure our guests and grandpa were comfortable I went off in search of my pregnant princess. I made my way back to our room and smiled when I saw her gazing out the window, hands resting on her belly. I crept up behind her and slipped my arms around her waist, resting my chin in the crook of her neck. She sighed contentedly and leaned back against me as we watched the trees rustle in the wind.
“It was sweet of you to invite them over again,” she said after a while. “They've probably been so lonely with Setsuna gone and Minako practically kidnapping Hotaru every day.”
“I figure it's the least we could do for them, they were so supportive while we were adjusting to everything,” I said, holding her a little tighter. “The extra company is good for you too since you refuse to...”
“Rei-chan... not now please,” she cut in quietly. I hesitated, wondering for a moment if I should press the issue before deciding to let it go.
“You looked so beautiful today, Usa...” Even though I couldn't see it I know she rolled her eyes.
“Please, I'm disgusting, even Ami-chan says I'm too fat.”
“She did not. She said you've gained a few pounds more than the average woman has by this point,” I said with a small chuckle, remembering how terrified Ami had been when she had relayed that message.
“See! That's the same as saying I'm too fat!” she pouted.
“Considering how thin you were before I say a few extra pounds are a good thing. Besides,” I said, kissing the side of her neck lightly, “I'm the one who decides how cute you are and I say you've never been sexier.”
“Rei-chan...”
“Especially in that cute little top you had on today with your belly showing and your legs spilling out of those short shorts,” I shivered against her, “I was tempted to lay you down and have my way with you right there in front of Haruka!”
“You're such a hentai, Rei-chan!” she groaned, turning around in my arms and trying her best to give me a scathing look but failing miserably. “But it's sweet that you still think of me like that...” She looked away, blushing slightly. I leaned down to nuzzle her cheek before pressing my lips to her ear.
“And you're even sexier when you're acting all demure,” I whispered, feeling a shiver roll down her body. “How about I give you a foot massage and then we go for a little...” I trailed off suggestively, planting a few kisses down her cheek before pulling away. She looked up at me, eyes half lidded, and smiled.
“Nope,” she said simply, effectively crushing the mood in an instant.
“Why the hell not?!” I demanded, she simply smiled and kissed the tip of my nose.
“Because you have school tomorrow, and no, you can't skip!” she said, halting my argument before I could even try. “You've missed too many days already, any more and you won't be able to graduate and yes, you're going to graduate so let's not go there either and just get some sleep,” she said with finality before heading off to the bathroom.
“Party pooper...” I muttered under my breath.
“And just for that you're still going to give me a foot rub!”
“Damn that hearing of yours!” I called out, hearing her giggles fade away as she made her way down the hall. Despite having come out on the losing end I couldn't help but smile as I grabbed a bottle of lotion and waited near the bed. She looked surprised when she returned to find me waiting and ready.
“Wow, I wasn't actually serious, you don't have to do that Rei-chan.” I waved her complaints aside and helped her into bed.
“Don't be silly, Usa, I know they've been bothering you lately even though you've tried to hide it,” I claimed as my hands went to work.
“Remind me to make this up to you tomorrow when you get home.”
“Will do,” I giggled.
“I love you Rei...”
“I love you too Usagi...”
--
Things had been so hectic at first. I mean sure we were ecstatic in the beginning, how could we not be? Not only was she having a baby but it was our baby, and not only was it our baby... it was our sweet little Chibi-Usa. Once the initial glamor wore off, however, we started to realize just what we'd gotten ourselves into. Truth be told, everything went sour because of one stupid mistake on my part. It was just like Usagi was always saying, it really was all my fault.
'I still can't believe you're pregnant Usa!' was what the message had said. Technically there was a little more after that but that's where her teacher had stopped reading it to the class when she realized that what she'd said already was far more damaging than a punishment for cell phone use in class should be. Before the day was over Usagi had been run ragged by students and faculty hounding her with questions and ridicule. But that was just the beginning of it all, someone had called her parents...
I sat with her through an hour or so of red faced screaming from her father with her nails digging so hard into my clasped hand that they drew blood. At one point he had called her a slut and my resolve broke. I got right up in his face and told him to never speak to her like that again. He backhanded me pretty hard but I barely even flinched, my blood was on fire from the look of fear that had found it's way into his eyes. Don't get me wrong, I never would have touched him out of love for Usagi, but it had felt good to see him cower like that. Usagi ended the ordeal by silently packing a few suitcases, taking my hand, and leading us out the door. We haven't seen or heard from them since.
Grandpa had completely waved off her apology for causing so much trouble and embraced her warmly as he welcomed his new granddaughter home. It was all so terribly depressing to see such a dream come true be riddled with so much heartache. Usagi had cried for three days straight and I found myself crying alongside her for most of it. Up until that point I'd never had a negative experience with the Tsukino's and with all the time I spent with Usagi they had almost been like a second family.
Family problems weren't the end of the misery caused by her impromptu outing. School life for Usagi had gone from slightly lonely to absolutely unbearable. After another month and a half of being mocked by her classmates and treated like unwelcome garbage by her teachers, she'd simply had enough and stormed out. Unfortunately she wasn't thinking straight after that and came right to my school. Though I can hardly blame her, as I was glad she'd come to me, it had certainly caused another big mess. Apparently having your sobbing, pregnant girlfriend come bursting into your class and curl up in your lap was a pretty big issue at a Catholic girls school. I had to bite my tongue to keep quiet while Usagi begged the Head Sister to let me stay. School life for me, it's safe to say, was nothing but a downhill slope after that.
It hadn't ended up all bad though, thanks to some fast thinking on Ami's part we were able to enroll Usagi into a home schooling program with the blue haired genius acting as instructor. All of this happening so quickly, however, had dealt a major blow to Usagi's self esteem. Her failure to stand up to the people at her school combined with the situation with her parents sent her into her very brief 'I don't deserve to be a mother' phase. I broke her out of that quickly enough but the seeds of doubt had been sewn in both of us. That's when they stepped in...
Haruka and Michiru had acted like a guiding light for us, spending day after day talking with us about what we were going through. Our fears and our worries just seemed to melt away under the 'married couple's' tutelage and before we knew it, the future seemed a whole lot brighter. Out of all the Senshi, they were the only ones to grow closer to us during this time. I'm sure easing their own loneliness had a little part in it but there was so much genuine desire to help that Usagi and I were happy to oblige. As for the others... well I wish I could say the same.
Ami, due to time constraints, was usually only able to help Usagi with her school work before she had to go. Occasionally, she'd stay to have dinner but the conversation barely ever strayed very far from their usual subjects.
Makoto was currently on an 'only visit if Rei wasn't around' schedule. The two of us had gotten into a bit of an argument when I told her that she should just tell Ami how she felt. It hadn't gone over at all like I had hoped and now she refused to speak to me. She would still call Usagi if she wasn't able to come visit though so that made me happy.
Minako was almost non-existent from day one. She would stop by or call maybe once a week or so but for the most part she was glued to Hotaru. She had apparently scooped up the heartbroken girl after Chibi-Usa left and seemed to have no intention of letting her go. From what we could tell the two of them were happy as could be so it didn't bother us too much. This had also helped add a little fuel to Haruka and Michiru's desire to spend time with us so in a way we were also deeply grateful. I was even starting to suspect that Minako had somehow known things would turn out like they did but I kept those suspicions to myself.
--
At around four months came our next little obstacle to overcome. It seemed as if overnight Usagi had went from just knowing she was pregnant to being able to see as plain as day that she was. However, along with the cute little swell on her tummy came the ugly monster known to those that have suffered it as 'Preggo Bitchiness'. It seemed to strike at random too, with Usagi going from all smiles to practically foaming at the mouth in no time flat. Sure her mood swung in other directions as well but 'angry for no reason' was the only one I had any trouble dealing with. While I was able to adjust to this fairly quickly it only served to further dampen our friendships with all but Haruka and Michiru.
Just as the dust brought about by her suddenly shifty mood was beginning to settle I noticed the most difficult issue yet. Or I should say that everything had sort of congealed together into one big issue that had both its ups and its downs. On the up side she was generally more perky around the house and our sex life, despite her assurances that she was a disgusting cow, had returned to something akin to the glory days when we'd first learned she was expecting. On the down side she practically refused to leave the house unless it was absolutely necessary. At first I thought she was just worried about the stairs but even after Ami helped me rig up a slow moving pulley sled to bring her up and down she was still hesitant. Realizing that my sweet and fun loving Usagi had become so terrified of people was certainly a sobering experience. One that I wasn't going to stand for...
--
I tore my eyes away from the swaying trees to look over at my sleeping lover. She always went out like a light during my foot massages and it usually left me with some time to reflect on the past and ponder the future. Smiling to myself as she mumbled cutely in her sleep I crept over to the bed and eased myself in behind her. I slowly wrapped an arm around her to rest on her tummy and lightly kissed her neck before snuggling in close and drifting off to sleep.
--
Making amends...
--
“I'm home!” I called out as I kicked my shoes off at the entryway. Frowning slightly when no giddy blonde came waddling over to greet me I did a quick search of the place, chuckling when I found her and grandpa both crashed out on the sofa. Shutting off the cheesy soap opera they'd been watching I made my way to the kitchen to get started on dinner. A few minutes in I could hear someone knocking on the door and hurried to answer in fear of them waking the sleeping duo. In retrospect it probably would have been a good idea to put the knife down before I had, but then again, it only took about ten or so minutes of pleading before I was able to convince Makoto that I wasn't planning to kill her.
“Honestly girl, did you think I'd attack you because of some stupid argument I started?” I asked with a laugh as I went to work chopping some carrots.
“Sorry, I've just been really stressed about coming here like this, I've been arguing with myself for weeks about doing it.” Despite her nervousness I could see that she was watching my slicing techniques with an appraising eye.
“Something on your mind?”
“Oh sorry, I was just going to say they hold more flavor if you use an angular cut.”
“As much as I appreciate the cooking advice, I meant about why you're here,” I said with a giggle. “How about you grab an apron and we'll talk while we cook?”
“That sounds perfect actually! I'm always at my most thoughtful while I'm cooking,” she said excitedly, grabbing an apron from the pantry and going to work beside me.
--
“It was kind of scary at first... but all those confusing feelings I'd been having about other girls all started making perfect sense when we discovered what we were. With our near immortality it almost seems like we're destined to either find love amongst each other or be left wanting in countless doomed relationships,” she said, tasting the stew a final time before replacing the lid and leaning against the counter.
“I'd come to the same conclusion,” I said from my seat at the table, having been bustled out of the way by the taller girl enough times to just give in and let her take over. “After Chibi-chan showed up I thought I was doomed.”
“I remember that, you were snapping at everybody for weeks and wouldn't tell us what was bothering you. If I really think about it, that's when this whole mess between us started,” she said, unable to look me in the eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I do love Ami with all my heart and I couldn't imagine feeling this way about anybody else. But in the beginning... for a while there I...” she paused, wringing her apron nervously in her hands.
“Mako-chan?”
“I was in love with you!” she blurted suddenly, raising her eyes up to meet mine, she looked absolutely horrified.
“Are... are you okay?” I asked, just before hearing the throaty growl behind me. “Oh crap...”
“You what!?” I could hear Usagi scream just before something hard smashed into the back of my head.
--
“I'm so sorry Rei-chan! I know I said it would never happen again but... oh... I was just confused!” she pleaded through the bathroom door.
“Well so am I! You threw the remote at me because someone else said they used to be in love me! That doesn't even make sense!” I shouted back.
“It was just... I smelled such good food so I wondered who could have been making it. Then I saw the two of you there and...”
“Oh, so I can't be trusted around other women AND my cooking is so lousy it stinks?!”
“No... that's not it all Rei-chan!” I could hear her hiccuping as she lost control of her emotions. “I love you so much... I feel like such an idiot! I'll just.. I'll leave you alone.” She sounded so miserable that it broke my heart. I let out a long sigh and opened the door.
“Come here, Usa,” I said, holding out my arms, “you know it's not good for the baby to get so upset.” She waddled into my embrace and buried her face in my neck.
“I'm so stupid!” she cried, her body trembling in my arms. “I always ruin everything...”
“You're not stupid, Usa, and you've never ruined anything so don't ever let me hear you say that again,” I whispered as I petted her hair. “And I'm not mad at you or anything so don't even start on that,” I finished, stopping her next argument before it could come. There was a light knocking at the door before Makoto poked her head in, pressing an ice pack to her right eye. I gave her a pleading look and she nodded her head in understanding.
“Hey now, what's all this crying about?” she asked, smiling brightly as Usagi turned to look at her.
“I'm so sorry Mako-chan! You went through the trouble of cooking us dinner and making that confession to Rei-chan and I...” Makoto waved it aside.
“Don't you worry about it Usagi-chan, I'm not mad or anything. I just thought you should know that I'm not upset or anything and...” she was cut off as Usagi latched onto her, “and that the food is ready.” I couldn't help but laugh as Usagi, still holding tight to Makoto, began inching herself towards the door.
--
“Five more minutes,” I pleaded sleepily, holding her a little tighter.
“You've been saying that for half an hour and I'd love to let you keep going but I swear I'll pee on you if you don't let go!”
“Small price to pay,” I murmured, snuggling closer with a smile on my face.
“Rei-chan!” she whined as she struggled to get free before pausing suddenly as a familiar rumbling sound came from her belly. Recognizing it instantly I helped her out of bed and quickly led her to the bathroom, holding her hair while she was sick. After freshening up we bumped into Makoto whom Usagi had convinced to stay the night.
“Never a dull moment with you two, is there?” Makoto asked, I noticed she looked somewhat disheveled.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, ignoring the incident from yesterday and seeing Usagi eat five and a half servings at dinner... does the two hours of wild monkey sex ring any bells?” she asked, giggling at the looks on our faces. “What you guys talked about afterwards was really sweet though, it's good to know that you still worry about all of us like that.” Ice cold dread flooded my veins at those words and I could feel my hands tense at Usagi's waist. “I'm just wondering how your poor grandpa hasn't had a heart attack or something!”
“He told me he started wearing ear plugs right after I moved in as a precaution,” Usagi said, setting the two of them into a fit of giggles but the humor was lost on me. I was relieved that Usagi hadn't realized the possible implications of this and managed to hide my fears behind a smile just as she turned to face me.
“So, what do you want to do today, girls?”
--
I had done a pretty good job of masking my emotions around the girls the rest of the day but now that I found myself standing alone in the darkened hallway I nearly lost my nerve. It took ten minutes just to gather the willpower to knock on the door.
“You may enter,” I heard him call out and slowly raised my hand to grip the handle. Never in my life had I been so nervous as when I opened that door and saw his smiling face. “What is it my dear?” I couldn't speak, I could barely even breath. “What's wrong?” he asked, noticing my nervousness. I steeled myself with every last bit of determination I had.
“How long have you known?” I asked, barely breathing out the words. His smile fell from his face and for the first time I could remember he looked every bit his age. He turned his back to me and let out a long and tired sounding sigh.
“Are you wondering for how long I've known that my granddaughter was in love with her best friend?” He turned to look over his shoulder at me, a weary sadness in his eyes. “Or that my granddaughter is Sailor Mars?” I cast my eyes downwards as I fell to my knees, unable to bear the weight of his gaze.
“I wanted to tell you so many times... but... I could never bring myself to place such a burden on you... please forgive me!” I was gripping my clothes so hard my knuckles were white.
“I just want to know one thing,” he said sternly as he stood over me, I braced myself for his next words. “The little one with the pink hair, she's your daughter, right? The one Usagi's pregnant with?!” My eyes flew up to see him on his knees in front of me, eyes twinkling with mischief. I clapped my hand to my mouth, tears streaming down my cheeks. “Well?” he asked excitedly. I could only nod through the shock and joy mixing together in my system. “Ha ha! I knew it!” he exclaimed, slapping his knee with joy.
“W-What?” I managed to choke out, his eyes seemed to light up even more.
“Right from the first time I saw that adorable little thing's eyes I just knew I saw your fire in them. After I overheard that she'd come back from the future I always figured she was yours. Makes me feel a little less guilty about sneaking her all those sweets now that I know for sure she was my great granddaughter!”
“You... you're okay with all of this?” I asked, still stunned.
“Well, I was a little apprehensive at first about you fighting those things... but this isn't the type of family that stands in the way of destiny now is it?” he asked, eyes twinkling. My excitement managed to break through the shock and I threw myself at him to lock him up in a tight hug.
“Thank you so much, grandpa!” he patted my back lightly as he held me, chuckling the whole time. I pulled away after a time, trying to find the words but not knowing what to say.
“Where did you go, Rei-chan?” Usagi called out sleepily from down the hall. I was torn between staying to speak with him more and easing Usagi's worries.
“You don't need to say anything else, sweetheart,” he said after reading my expression, “just go to your princess,” he finished, pulling me up to my feet. I smiled and hugged him again before turning to leave. “Chibi-Usa, wasn't it?” he called after I'd gone a little ways down the hall.
“That's right, short for Usagi after her mother,” I said, looking back over my shoulder. “Something bothering you?” He shook his head and waved me on.
“I'm just glad I was able to spend some time with her.”
–
To be continued...