Chapter IX: So Many Changes
As I leave the infirmary and walk down the hall to try and find Namine I realize just how pissed I am, before I was so worried for Mag I didn’t notice it. But now as violent images of what I want to do to Blaze and her cronies I realize just how pissed I am and it scares me.
Before the police had knocked on my door three months ago, before any of this happened I was never a violent person, even as a kid I didn’t like fights, verbal or physical. Before the trial I was just you’re average normal piece of trailer park trash, I had a job at Wall Mart that kept the rent paid, food on the table, and clothes on my back with some money left over for a night at the bar every once and a while, I had a sweet boyfriend, a group of close friends and a simple life. Back then my worst worry was forgetting a birthday or anniversary, I didn’t have to worry about gang wars or anything of the sort. I know I’ve changed, I think back to how minutes ago I’d just glanced at Jaya and Hazel in the infirmary, without even a tiny feeling of remorse or guilt. I know that if I some how went back in time and told my past self that I was her, from the future, she wouldn’t believe me, because I'm not her, not anymore. I'm not Riza Alister anymore, now I'm Rizzy. Somehow I’ve changed, become violent, heartless Rizzy.
These thoughts make me sick and I turn my thoughts to how I had beaten up both Jaya and Hazel without a second thought, I hadn’t tried to control the animalistic nature that came over me and now as I thought about it I realized that I didn’t want to be Riza Alister anymore I was much more comfortable with Rizzy. My fists clench and I let the violent images flow, in a sick and perverse way, they calm me and as I search for Namine and Cloe a serine state comes over me.
After I had run out of ways to torture Blaze in my head, I realized that I had checked most of Namine’s hot spots and that only two remained, the library and the laundry room, in the days I’d spent with them I’d learned something about the group I operate in.
I turn toward the laundry room, knowing that if I cut through the TV room it would take me to a side door that lead into my current destination. As I open the door and step into the bleak room, letting the smell of freshly laundered clothing wash over me. As I look around I notice that there are only a handful of people in the room in various states of dress, all wearing the same thing. I know that they can’t see me because the door is in a corner that is blocked off by carts of dirty clothing. I slip past the carts and do a more attentive search of the room looking for Namine and listening for anything out of the ordinary. I shuffle around the room calling her name in a low voice, after about five minutes, it is a pretty big room, I notice an odd wheezing, no more like whimpering sound coming from behind a few of the laundry carts. I round them, still calling out for Namine, pretending not to notice the huddled form that I’m tracking with my peripheral vision. I hear a weak cry from the form but I can barley distinguish the sound so I just keep pretending until it says. “Rizzy!” The voice is hoarse and cracking but I recognize it, I whip around. “Cloe!” I gasp.
It is Cloe, but she looks different, her clothes are torn and blood oozes from wounds all over her body, her hands are caked with dry blood from trying to stop the bleeding. Her eyes aren’t focusing on me, they stare far off and I can tell she’s not in good shape. I have to get her to the infirmary. As the thought dawns on me I take a breath and look for the most serious wound, it’s deep one on her stomach that pouring blood. I place her hands on it and tell her to press as hard as she can, as she does this; I tear off the remainder of her shirt and tie it over the wound and then I grab other articles of clothing and patch up other bad wounds.
I quickly pick Cloe up, not even bothered by her weight, and sprint to the infirmary. Halls bleed together as I run, as fast as possible until I come to a dead stop in front of the nurse I blurt Cloe’s name and what’s wrong with her before placing her on a bed and fleeing to let the nurse do her work.
As soon as I leave the infirmary I find that my wobbly legs make it impossible to run anymore so I walk, in a numbed trance. I don’t know where I’m going or how I keep walking, I feel so drained, like I just ran four miles on a stretch.
As I look over my body I notice that my arms and knuckles are bruised, my hands covered in blood, almost none of it is mine. My shirt is splattered with blood, probably Cloe’s. I run my hand down my stomach and feel that I have a few bruises forming there along with a few on my legs, lovely.
Done with my self assessment I look up to figure out where I am, well other than being completely lost I notice that I’m in the hallway that Mag took down to go outside so I follow the hallway, happy to see that it takes me to a familiar corridor, the one that holds the library and TV room. I sigh and walk to the library, hoping that Amber is still there.
I search the library and find that while is nowhere to be found, Namine is in the library. I walk up to her and we stare at each other for a long minute, each taking in the other’s appearance. Namine is pretty bruised up, her lip is busted and both of her eyes are black, she’s got a fist shaped bruise on her left cheek and a cut above her eye. Her nose had been bleeding and from the looks of it had been broken and corrected. Her knuckles are bruised up and split open, one of her fingers is broken and her wrists are in pretty bad shape. Her clothes have blood on them as well, not nearly as much as mine though.
I bring my gaze to her eyes and realize that she’s as pissed off as I am, molten rage burns in her eyes like lava and it’s etched into her face. “Where’s Amber?” I ask, my voice hoarse. “She went to her cell, to try and rest up. You seen Cloe?” I chew my lip and nod. “She’s pretty roughed up, real bad. Namine, from the looks of her she’d been stabbed, like with a dagger or something like it.” I flinch as Namine snarls. “Fucking bitch, Blaze she’s fucking dead tonight I don’t fucking care what those damn guards will do to me!” She clenches her fists and glares at a bookshelf, and then she softens and turns toward me. “C’mon, let’s go take a shower and I’ll tell you what happened.”
I nod, that doesn’t sound too bad actually. During the short walk from the library to the showers I tell Namine everything that happened from when she left me to when I found her in the library. She scowls and growls as I relate it and pulls faces that I would have laughed at if the situation had been different. Then as we shower she starts to tell me what happened after she and Cloe left the shower.
“Cloe got a visitor and I went back to me and Blaze’s cell, to relax some, not long after Mag pokes her head in and asks me if I wanna go with her and Amber to watch old slayer films, ‘course I said yes. So we left the cellblock and headed to the TV room but on our way there Blaze caught us in one of the smaller halls. They all just started on Mag, I couldn’t get ‘um off, as hard as I tried there were too many for me,” She looks down in shame. “I just couldn’t keep up and Amber bailed as soon as I told her to. After Mag passed out a couple of guards broke it up and they took Mag to the infirmary. After I found Amber and calmed her and then went looking for Cloe. I didn’t find her, so I came back to the library and waited for you.” As she finishes I step out from under the showerhead and give her a chance to wash off.
“It makes no fucking sense, Mag’s the ring leader so why did she stab Cloe?” I ask, as I play with my hair, forcing myself to stop watching Namine’s well-shaped form. I can’t help but stare at her small breasts, capped with pink nipples, with light colored areole surrounding them. Her flat abdomen, with sinewy muscles winding tight, her slim thighs that hide a small thatch of brown curls over her sex and her muscular but thin legs, even with the many bruises and cuts from her fight she’s still breath taking. Namine thinks for a few minutes before answering.
“She’s trying to send a message, give Mag a second chance, but she’s got to hurt someone to prove a point.”
“Fucking lovely!” I growl and learn against the shower wall to wait for Namine.
Namine finishes and we go to the laundry room to dress, then Namine says she’s going to head to the infirmary to check on Mag and Cloe, telling me to go to my cell and rest up.
After a minute of protesting I give in and go back to my cell, knowing full well that there’s no way I’m going to be able to sleep without Mag there. It’s a very unsettling realization; well I can at least try to sleep. Once I’m back in the cell I thunk down on my bed and grab Mag’s favorite pillow, it always smells like Axe deodorant, Touch sent to be exact, but under the smell of Axe is Mag’s own smell, sweat, cigarettes, and cinnamon, all mixed together. I bury my face in the pillow, breathing in Mag’s scent, letting it calm me as I close my eyes and let my mind float, hoping that it will help me fall asleep. As my thoughts wandered my body relaxed and I felt as though I were in Mag’s arms, her warm breath on my throat, her hand stroking my belly, I imagine her voice whispering all the things she could do to me as I slip a hand between my thighs. Comforted by those thoughts I drift into a light sleep, faced with odd dreams as my only obstacle to peaceful rest.
I crack my eyes open and let my eyes focus before I look toward the source of the voice that woke me, at first the burred form looks like Mickey Mouse (shut up I was half asleep!) then it evens out and the voice is suddenly familiar. “Mag?” I ask, still a little unsure of myself. “Yeah it’s me Rizzy.” She sits on the bed and I sit up and rub my eyes and look my eccentric cellmate over.
The bulky white bandages that covered her wounds have been taken off, except for one that covers the top of her head, probably covering stitches. Her face is covered in bruises, shallow cuts and scrapes. On her hands I see more bruises and her left pinkie is in a brace, her knuckles are wrapped up, she probably split them open. Her clothing obscures any other wounds. “Are you okay?” I ask feeling stupid. Mag pulls me against her and kisses my forehead. “I’m fine Rizzy.”
“How’s Cloe?” I ask, finally remembering that Mag wasn’t the only causality in this battle. Mag stiffens and her hand clenches. “She got sent to the hospital, last I heard she was still breathing, when I got out of the infirmary earlier I saw that Blaze was in, probably Namine’s doing.” I feel myself smile. “Good to hear, so how do you feel?”
“Like shit, how about you?” I steal a quick kiss to Mag’s lips. “Fine, a little sore, but otherwise good.” Mag moves to the wall and rests her back against it; I follow and put my head on her left breast, listening to her heartbeat. As my hand ghosts up and down her abdomen I feel a bandage and realize that it’s wrapped around her ribs. I close my eyes as she rubs my back, her warm hand moving up and down on my spine as I snuggle against her. I don’t know how long we sat there but I think we would have stayed like that forever if Namine hadn’t come to check on me, my face pushed against her chest, listening to the rhythmic beat of her heart, like a bass drum, my eyes closed as she stroked up and down my back.
At the sound of a throat being cleared, I look up to see Namine standing in the doorway of our cell. In addition to the injuries she had last night, there is a bruise on her left cheek and a large scratch on her chin, plus her black eye. She’s smiling. “Good to see you Mag, I thought you’d be in a bit longer.”
Mag smiles, I don’t have to look to know that she is, I can hear it in her voice. “That’s what I thought too, but my injuries were minor and since we kicked a lot of ass there was an over flow at the infirmary, so they let me go.” Her expression hardens and she clutches me tighter. “Cloe’s in the hospital, she’s gotta get surgery done.” Namine crosses the room and sits on the bed.
“We got Blaze, countered her attack, but now we have to out do her, she lives in an empire built of fear, now that word has gotten out that her little bitch Namine kicked the shit out of her last night, she won’t have much of an empire left, so now we have less to worry about.” Mag and I nod and a silence follows.
My stomach gurgles and Mag breaks the silence. "Rizzy's stomach has just sent us a message that tells me that it's breakfast tine." Namine agrees and we head to breakfast.
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