Title: Voyager Chicks Behind Forcefields
Fandom: Star Trek Voyager
Rating: NC-17. Parody.
Summary: Two beautiful innocent young women are thrown into the brig by the evil Captain Janeway. Will they find true love in each other's arms?
Warning: Contains coarse language, gratuitous lesbian sex and violence. What have you got to complain about?
Disclaimer: No profit is intended in the writing of this story. Star Trek: Voyager and its characters are the property of Paramount and Viacom.
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Comments: This came from a discussion on Voq Je Bang regarding all the different places on Voyager B'Elanna and Seven could have sex. One place nobody mentioned was the brig. How could one possibly forget that staple of B-grade sexploitation movies - the Babes Behind Bars genre? If it's good enough for Tom and Harry in "The Chute" it's good enough for our girls, right? So here's my contribution to this highlight of Western video culture.
VOYAGER CHICKS BEHIND FORCEFIELDS
A corridor in the starship USS Voyager, once the pride of Starfleet, now forever lost in the Delta Quadrant. The ship is on half power, its engines constantly breaking down for reasons that will become apparent. Voyager looks bleak with its now dimmed lighting. An air of hopelessness and despair permeate the once pristine walls, along with a great deal of dirt and grime. The reason for the latter is immediately apparent as Voyager's Chief Efficiency Officer, SEVEN OF NINE, is frog-marched down the corridor by two Starfleet security officers, ENSIGN DYKE PRISON GUARD, a butch blonde female who doesn't talk, and ENSIGN LEERING MALE GUARD, a bald black male who's built like a Borg shithouse. He doesn't have much to say either.
Seven of Nine is a tall blonde of stunning beauty and cold efficiency that she wears like a shield to conceal the deep childhood trauma of her assimilation. Seven has clearly been subjected to an extensive body cavity search by her abusive guards. Her biosuit is torn to reveal an extensive display of flesh. Her large breasts are particularly noticeable, constantly on the point of bursting out of the few remaining scraps of dermaplastic.
Seven struggles bravely in the grip of her captors.
SEVEN: I am innocent! I'm not involved in the smuggling of Romulan ale. I've never even been to the Neutral Zone!
The two guards laugh at her, anticipating with relish the pleasures this fresh young thing will provide them during the long night shifts.
CUT TO: BRIG
Enter Seven and guards. Waiting for them like trapdoor spiders for their prey are CAPTAIN JANEWAY and SECURITY CHIEF TUVOK. Janeway is a short, auburn-haired starship captain with hyperactive mannerisms that come from her long caffeine addiction. Tuvok is a dark, brooding Lieutenant Commander whose pointed ears give him a satanic appearance. Like the other security personnel he doesn't say much either. He lives under the constant knowledge that on Voyager when an ensign or security officer has lines to say, he or she soon ends up dead.
SEVEN: Captain! You are behind this miscarriage of justice!
JANEWAY (twirling her red hair as she doesn't have a mustache): Yes my pretty Borg. I was the one who framed you. And here you will remain until you reconsider my offer!
Seven's chin comes up. She stares defiantly at the psychotic captain despite her fear.
SEVEN: I will never orally copulate with your vagina!
JANEWAY (turning white with anger): Ungrateful bitch! I rescued you from the Collective and this is how you repay me? Throw her in with that half-Klingon dyke! My sexual needs will seem like tender mercies in comparison to her!
Exit Tuvok and Janeway, cackling evilly. The forcefield is lowered and Seven is tossed like a rag doll into the brig, where she collapses in a sobbing heap in the corner.
The hand of B'ELANNA TORRES touches her shoulder and Seven looks up, her eyes widening in apprehension. B'Elanna is indeed a fearful sight. A tough (though not unattractive) Klingon-human hybrid, she is traumatised by her father's abandonment of her at a young age and the atrocities she witnessed as a member of the Maquis. She wears her volatile temper like a shield in order to conceal a deep vulnerability and fear of rejection. B'Elanna's gray tank top is torn to reveal a gratuitous display of flesh. Her well-toned muscular arms are particularly prominent. Yet her dark eyes shine with compassion for her new cellmate.
B'ELANNA (looking deep into Seven's blue eyes): Don't worry, I won't hurt you. I'm B'Elanna.
SEVEN: Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero One. They…call me Seven.
B'ELANNA (gently touching Seven's ocular implant): You're Borg aren't you? You know you're far more attractive than the average drone. How did you end up in this terrible place?
SEVEN (a single tear rolling down her cheek): Captain Janeway framed me because I refused to comply with her crude demands for copulation. Once she was a great starship captain, dedicated and brave. She regarded me as a surrogate daughter, always tucking me into my alcove at night and letting me suckle her breasts. But then those evil Paramount people turned her into a neurotic, unstable woman, her behaviour changing from one week to the next. It was terrible!
B'ELANNA (slipping a comforting arm around Seven's shoulders): I know what you mean. I used to be married to a good man by the name of Tom Paris. He loved me despite my many faults. Then he too gradually began to change, becoming an inconsiderate and unfaithful petaQ!
SEVEN: Was the evil Paramount behind that too?
B'ELANNA (lovingly stroking Seven's hair): No, it was those horrible slash writers. For some reason they wanted to break up our marriage so I would have sex with women instead. It worked – Tom framed me so he could have a ménage à trois with a couple of twins from Stellar Cartography, and I was thrown into prison with only females available to satisfy my voracious Klingon appetites.
SEVEN: We must not give up hope!
B'ELANNA (making a Freudian slip): Sixty of Nine, this is a place where hope can drive you insane. Every night the guards select one of us in order to satiate their deviant sexual urges. Young Kes was taken from here last night and forced to sleep with an ugly Talaxian cook with spots on his hands and face.
SEVEN (quivering with fear): Forced?
B'ELANNA: Well I can't imagine those two getting together of their own choice, can you?
The former Chief Engineer brings her face close to the stunning features of her cellmate. Their breaths mingle as they stare into each other's eyes.
B'ELANNA: All we have is each other. The only thing we can do is find what small happiness we can in the midst of this unspeakable world.
SEVEN (her blue eyes filled with wonder and excitement): B'Elanna, I sense we are about to engage in a gratuitous lesbian copulation scene!
Consumed by lust, the aroused half-Klingon tears off the remnants of Seven's dermaplastic garment. The Borg stands before her like a Giger painting, an erotic merging of flesh and cybernetic technology. To B'Elanna's dismay however, Seven's groin is covered by the corrugated expanse of a Borg implant.
B'ELANNA (staring at her Borg chastity belt in disbelief): Dochvam vISop net pIH'a'? (Am I supposed to eat this?)
Seven smiles, presses a button on the side of her hip, and her Borg-enhanced anti-Janeway defense shield retracts into her pelvis, exposing the exquisite folds of her virgin cunt. B'Elanna stares lustfully at this treasure which has been revealed to her. She buries her face in Seven's pussy as if devouring a large pile of banana pancakes covered in maple syrup.
B'ELANNA (munching happily): Mmmm!
SEVEN: Oh darling!
SEVEN: Oh. Fuck!
B'ELANNA: Mmmmmm! Mmmmmmm, mmmmmm!
SEVEN: OH - FUCK!
B'ELANNA: Mmmmmm, mmmmmmm, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!
SEVEN: OH FUCK THE OMEGA MOLECULE! THIS IS PERFECTION! TELL THE BORG QUEEN TO STICK IT UP HER RECTAL ORIFICE!
Suddenly the brig doors are vapourised in a burst of phaser fire. Enter ENSIGN KIM, the DOCTOR, and COMMANDER CHAKOTAY firing compression phaser rifles from the hip. Even though they never bother to aim their rifles the three officers somehow manage to hit everything that needs hitting. Despite the fact that they've just shot their way past forty-seven Starfleet security officers (all of whom had the misfortune to have been given dialogue scenes in previous episodes) the dynamic trio are miraculously unharmed.
Ensign Dyke Prison Guard and Leering Male Guard are caught with their pants down (literally, as they are masturbating over B'Elanna and Seven's love scene). Our heroes gun them down. Despite there being no reason to have plate glass windows on a starship, the phaser blasts somehow manage to propel Ensign Leering Male Guard through one in direct violation of Newton's Third Law of Motion.
SEVEN (leaping to her feet, her chest heaving dramatically): Ensign Kim, Doctor, Chuckles! What is happening?
KIM (declaring his love as he disables the forcefield): Seven! I've come to save you from this hellhole. I lied when I said I didn't want to copulate with you all those years ago! I love you!
DOC (declaring his love as he gives Kim covering fire): Seven! When we're apart I feel like I'm missing a subroutine – the one I created to have sex with Denara Pel! But I recently found it in a forgotten processor buffer! I love you!
CHAKOTAY (declaring his love as he secures a red-haired scalp to his uniform): Seven! For years I pursued that prick-teasing, coffee-swigging, frigid bitch when I could have been fucking a drop-dead knockout broad like yourself! I love you!
Enter Tuvok and Captain Janeway. Janeway packs a phaser in each hand, looking with her freshly scalped head like the Borg had just assimilated her. Without missing a beat she disintegrates Ensign Kim on the spot.
JANEWAY: And this time stay dead!
The Doctor raises his phaser rifle and hesitates, torn between his instinct for self-preservation and his ethical subroutines telling him to First Do No Harm. He wavers a fraction too long and is promptly disintegrated by Tuvok. Tuvok and Chakotay then turn their guns on each other.
CHAKOTAY (avoiding disruption long enough to get in some cliched exposition): Take that you dirty rotten Starfleet spy!
TUVOK (who though shot in the chest with a directed energy weapon somehow has enough of his lungs intact to gasp out the following): To hold a grudge for seven years is not logical!
Seven of Nine, sobbing hysterically, throws herself on the body of her dead lover Chakotay, clutching his head in her hands.
SEVEN: Oh Chuckles, you can't be dead! You're showing as much expression as you normally do!
JANEWAY (smiling evilly): That'll teach him to give up our beautiful platonic relationship for a fling with some big-titted blonde bimbo! Give my regards to Seska, Chuckles! And now Seven, it's your turn!
B'ELANNA (channelling serious Sigourney Weaver): Get away from her you bitch!
JANEWAY (swinging her phasers to cover the fiery engineer): You foul half-breed spawn of a Klingon slut! I will kill her and there's nothing you can do about it! For years I've been expressing a gay subtext for her, yet those Paramount bastards say I'm not allowed to act on it. Well if I can't have her, no one else will!
Furious that death has come now that she has discovered true love, B'Elanna spits in Janeway's face.
JANEWAY (giving a cold smile): I think I'll have the Delaney sisters instead, now that your late husband has been disposed of. I sent him on an away mission with a couple of nameless ensigns who've been talking too much during recent episodes. Finally I get my payback for that salamander stunt!
B'ELANNA (eyes welling with tears): You petaQ! I hope you rot in Gre'thor!
JANEWAY (pointing a phaser at B'Elanna's head): You first! Make sure the replicators are working by the time I arrive; I'll need plenty of coffee!
In an instant Seven of Nine leaps to her feet, grabs her massive tits in both hands and swings them as hard as she can at Janeway's head, knocking her senseless. The captain collapses unconscious to the floor.
Seven clutches B'Elanna to her chest in a passionate embrace.
SEVEN: Oh my love! It's finally over. I hope we never have to suffer through these terrible experiences again.
B'Elanna however knows that crappy 'Women in Prison' movies always have equally crappy sequels made out of them. That meant more leering at Seven's exposed flesh, more gratuitous lesbian sex scenes. She gives the only answer she can.
B'ELANNA (head buried in Seven's cleavage): Mmmm, mmm, mmmmmmmmm!