"It's all very real, isn't it, Mako-chan?" Ami said suddenly, eyes fixed pensively on the floor. They were back in their bunk below deck. Makoto was busy trying to jam some of their luggage into an overhead compartment to save some space. They were welcome to two thin, firm cots fixed into the sides, on the walls, with barely enough room for them each to stand between if they wished. Ami was perched on the edge of her cot, and Makoto couldn't see her face from where she stood.
"What do you mean?" A side of Ami's pack started to slide out, and Makoto had to hurriedly press it back in before it dragged the rest with it. She strained her attention to follow what Ami was saying.
"Everything. There really are people in the world, organized people, that hate us."
Makoto paused now in her activity, wondering at the catch in Ami's voice. All during their mission so far, Ami had been the logical voice of reason, to the point of being cold at times. She'd almost neglectfully tossed out cautionary warnings about their safety and the chance of one of them not making it back home. Makoto had found it unsettling, in truth.
"Looks like it." Makoto sat down next to Ami and tossed an arm around her shoulder for a little hug. Ami acknowledged it with a twitch of her lips and no more.
"Maybe I shouldn't be so surprised."
"No? I sure was," Makoto replied genuinely. "You can babble on philosophically about human nature all day, but seeing it in action really does make it more real."
Makoto kept her pulled close. Words could only do so much. Makoto felt the desire to be close to her friend as well, after everything that had happened; if she could only find comfort in doing to comforting, well that's the way it was going to be. The previous night had been much a blur, fighting and fleeing and no time to think about anything more. Makoto now found the events settling in around her shoulders like an uneven weight, and she rolled her shoulders uncomfortably. As though the same thoughts coursed through her mind at the same time, Makoto felt Ami start under her. She turned up to Makoto, panicked concern written on her face and fists tightened hunched in chagrin.
"Mako-chan! What was I thinking?"
"Slow down, what did you think?" Makoto replied, mind whirling with grim possibilities.
"The enemy knows for sure there are senshi in the country now, or they will. I had you transform right in front of them. If they have any way at all to contact the others...." Ami scored her lip with little teeth. Makoto's breath tightened with the realization, too.
"Even if they can't," Makoto started slowly, "The enemy might try to find them. Even the good officers might go around telling stories about the drunk bums yelling about Sailor Jupiter, if they say anything to the police." Try as she might, the scenarios in which the rest of the enemy found out about this far outnumbered the slim potential for it remaining hidden.
"Mako-chan, do you think they could pick you out in a crowd?"
Makoto bit back a string of unpleasant language, but thought about it. "I'm not sure. Between my hair being down and the darkened skin, I don't think they'd know me if I was back to normal. It'll be a while before this skin-tone dye wears off, though. If we run into those same two again, I'm really not sure."
"A little more disguise work, then," Ami sighed. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking clearly at all."
"I wasn't thinking clearly either, Ami-chan, you're not alone in that," Makoto replied gently. "If those two had tried to lay a single slimy finger on you," Makoto's eyes darkened, but tried to shove the idea from her mind. She put forth a more confident front. "Forget coherent thought last night, I was just disappointed you were only making empty threats." Makoto grinned self-consciously.
"That did shake me badly," Ami admitted, "Seeing you and that...." Ami shuddered under her arm and Makoto held her even closer.
"Probably luck for them him that I broke his arm, then."
"Huh?" Ami blinked uncomprehendingly at Makoto's odd statement.
"Who knows what you might have done to the poor guy if he'd gone any further. The way you had them cringing and cowering, I'll bet they would have had a terrible time with you."
Ami flushed under Makoto's broad grin. She smiled shyly back, and looked thoughtfully over Makoto's shoulder. Makoto looked behind her, but Ami reached back and grabbed hold of her hair.
"Mako-chan, have you ever thought of braids?"
A short while later, Makoto was inspecting Ami's handiwork in the small bathroom's mirror. Her hair had been divided into two long braids, even longer than normal as it was pulled straight from its curls; then the braids had been doubled up on themselves to make two loops hanging to just below her shoulder blades. It certainly made her hair look shorter. Ami had even, with a comb and a bit of water, teased her curly bangs flat against her scalp. Nobody would call her hair curly nor long now, and the color was far from remarkable.
It may have been good for a disguise, but Ami still laughed at the way Makoto's face subtly changed the longer she looked at her reflection. "It might not be the best look in the world," Ami admitted, "But you're hidden, right?" Makoto raised an eyebrow at the mirth that accompanied the words.
"So how about you? They saw you as well, Ami-chan."
Ami didn't look altogether concerned. "I'll just bunch my hair up under a wide hat. We could do that for you too, if you wanted a little cut...?"
Makoto reflexively put a pair of protective hands to her braids, "Ah, that's okay, Ami-chan." Riled slightly from her thwarted hair-based retribution, Makoto asked another question on her mind. "So how long are we going to be on this boat?"
"Four or five days, depending on the weather," Ami said. "No longer than a week, for sure."
It turned out to be five days. On the way a passenger fell sick and an extra stop had to be made at a nearby town that delayed them for a time. Nobody else suffered any ill effects, so it appeared to just be misfortune on that woman's part. Makoto and Ami took a lesson from their recent experience and slept in shifts, much as they had when driving. Makoto remained wary, any one of their fellow passengers could have been unfriendly; if Ami's warnings hadn't sufficed to make Makoto distrustful before, she certainly was now. Ami also continued to obviously berate herself over what had happened, despite all of Makoto's attempts to disabuse her of that guilt. It seemed all the extra time for thought wasn't being put to any positive use by her quiet friend.
The constant stress and her frustration with Ami's low spirits gnawed away at Makoto's nerves. She felt her own stab of guilt whenever that would influence her to snap irritably at Ami, but even more so at how Ami seemed to accept it as something she was deserving of. That, at least, helped Makoto to learn to keep her mouth shut. Instead, she often turned to chasing her own thoughts. A gradual understanding of her friend came through those times. Ami was lauded as Sailor Mercury, the Senshi of Wisdom, the smart one, the genius. Now, she was fully convinced of her failure in all of those qualities. Makoto thought she was being far too hard on herself, but nothing she said seemed to make it through to her. What do I have to do to make her understand? Ami was determined to be harsher on herself than anybody else would be. All Makoto wanted right now was to be close to Ami, after the close call they had experienced, but at the same time she couldn't bear to be with her like this. Makoto ended up spending a good deal of the trip downriver on deck, while Ami stayed below. They were q quiet, gloomy pair that disembarked in Belem.
"Another big one," Makoto said neutrally. Ami nodded, though she didn't offer her usual little exposition on the particulars of this city. Makoto wondered if that was because she wasn't as familiar with a city they hadn't planned on visiting, or if she just didn't feel like talking. They traversed the city streets of this newest metropolitan monster and rented another vehicle, conveniently spying a little thrift store on the way from which Ami purchased a wide-brimmed hat that she could tuck just about all her hair under. She was short enough compared to the rest of the populace, too, that most had to be either stooped or rather youthful to actually see her hair--or the rest of her facial features, for that matter. A pair of sunglasses for Makoto at the same location completed their almost comically stereotypical, but quite effective disguises. They took of in their new transportation, a little gray economy car this time. Makoto felt it rather cramped after the roomy jeep. They threw their stuff in the back and started off down the streets. In this fashion she hoped that they were making their way through the city in some amount of anonymity.
Ami took them to the highway, eating a good half-hour just getting East through the city congestion, but then exited to country roads where they made good time. South along the country and across a bridge was the path Ami spoke of; they had to stop at a few rural homesteads to ask directions, not all of the lesser-traveled roads had made their way into the GPS system. Makoto kept an even closer eye on Ami than usual. She displayed her concerns in the twitches of her lips and the restless movement of her idle hand. Makoto didn't ask and Ami didn't venture, but the former got the feeling that they were very close to their destination. For no readily apparent reason, Ami pulled the car over to the side of the road, confirming those suspicions.
"This is where we have to get out, Mako-chan."
Makoto nodded, and opened her door without another word, after a moment's thought tossing her sunglasses atop the passenger seat after herself. she felt she would need to keep a sharp eye out from here, and those wouldn't help. Ami's wide woven hat glided to the floorboard as her friend got out as well. Makoto retrieved her pack from the backseat and slung it over her shoulders almost carelessly, trying to appear nonchalant. In all reality, Ami's odd demeanor continued to worry her far more than anything else right now. It was something of a relief to see a flash of lively determination in her blue eyes as Ami looked into the brush off the road, though there was a disquieting lack of optimism all the same. They took a deep breath, and marched into the forest.
Makoto was quickly reminded of their first day here, weeks ago. Back to the same sense of wild solitude, the loamy, earthy smells mixing with sharp, fragrant perfumes; the bird-calls and animal shrieks and insect buzzes and chirps that hushed idle chatter before it could begin, ears perked to hear all that there could be. The heat was a similar, if more unwanted, memory. She was suddenly glad for her odd braids, as they did help keep a lot of hair of her scalp and neck, keeping her minutely cooler. Among the brilliant filtered greens of light breaking through the canopy, Makoto also watched Ami walk beside her, deep in thought.
"Mako-chan, what happens if they were telling the truth?" Ami said.
"I guess it would be short-sighted of me to say, 'we kick their butts,' eh?" Makoto said lightly, but pondered the question. She wasn't sure why she were being asked such a thing, but she wanted to provided a succinct answer. "Do we call the others?"
"Do we?" Ami closed her eyes, "I don't know. Sailor Teleport isn't always that accurate, and even if it was, it's a little..."
"Flashy?"
"Yes. And without two of the senshi, we don't know what kind of condition they would arrive in. Whatever Usagi-chan said, I"m sure that was more taxing than anybody wanted to admit."
"Having three weakened senshi pop in close to enemy headquarters with a bang and a flash." Makoto shook her head, "That's just asking for somebody to get hurt. That would give out position away immediately, while they would be able to stay hidden. They know the area better, too."
"Very much so. We can't even be sure that we'll take them by surprise." Ami stopped then, in the middle of the path. "Rather, there's every chance that they know we're coming. There's an even better chance that one day as we're walking along, we'll both just drop over dead." Makoto saw a certain familiar look in Ami's eyes.
"You're not gonna start yelling about how you were too stupid to realize this earlier, are you?" Makoto asked pointedly.
"Well, it's true, isn't it?" Ami said defensively.
"No, it isn't!"
"Yes, it is!" Ami yelled back. Makoto couldn't believe she was having this argument, nor the absolute defiance with which Ami professed her own inadequacy.
"What is the matter with you all of a sudden?" Makoto asked furiously, "You never used to be so stupid about these things! Since when have you ever decided it's just time to lay down and die after making a mistake?!"
"Since one of my mistakes almost got you raped and killed!" Ami replied with equal fervor. Ami stood facing her with her hands clenched at her sides and jaw set in a stubborn line. When she said that though, Makoto's angry face softened, and Ami could barely stand it. Her fingers loosened, and though she tried to hold them back tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. Ami tried to turn away, but Makoto was going to have none of it. She stepped forward and hugged Ami. Only long enough to be sure that she wasn't going to go away when she stopped, however. Makoto took a step back, and when Ami raised her moist eyes in question, Makoto struck her on the cheek. Not with all her strength, but enough to hopefully get a message through to her. Ami's face snapped to the side under the force of the slap, and she turned back to Makoto with a look of incredulity replacing the sadness. She brought a hand up to the darkening skin on her cheek.
"Ami-chan," Makoto started talking in a low, serious tone. "You're not the only one that thought of all these things. I know the enemy probably knows we're coming, I know what could happen to us along the way. I followed you anyway. Do you know why?"
Ami mutely shook her head.
"Because I trust you with my life. I trust that Ami-chan knows what she's doing. I trust that she's not going to run off half-cocked like me, or get so worried about meaningless things in the past that she can't focus. I trust that Ami-chan is going to do like she always does. she's going to consider all the details, measure all of our advantages and disadvantages, and come up with a brilliant plan. Maybe it was Sailor Moon who would always run off pure emotion and save the day at the very end, but nobody ever seems to remember that she, that all of us, would have fallen in some battle long ago if Mercury hadn't been there to skillfully guide us through a number of tough battles and foes."
"Mako-chan..."
"Are you going to sit there and tell me that my trust is misplaced for such a worthless reason? There have been plenty of close calls, I can't count the number of times one of us almost died, but suddenly it's your fault this time? Why? Because you're the only other one here, process of elimination or something? If you're so worried about me, pull yourself together and come up with a plan that gets us through this."
Ami reacted like she'd been struck again, just from the force of Makoto's words. Makoto moved forward again, and Ami drew back slightly, but this time it was just so Makoto could pull her into a more genuine embrace. Ami could feel Makoto trembling slightly from her outburst. Makoto nestled her cheek atop Ami's hair. She wanted to hold Ami, but she also didn't want her friend to see the wetness lining her eyes.
"I know how you feel, Ami-chan. I was scared to death for you that night. It keeps running over and over in my mind, what could have happened if they'd gone after you first, or if he hadn't made that mistake. Please, don't beat yourself up over anything, I'm just so happy you're okay. So happy." Makoto took a deep, shuddering breath to keep from breaking down any more than she already had. She was supposed to be the strong one, the implacable oak to which the others could look to for support. She could be weak on her own time. when she pulled away and looked Ami in the face again, it was with a clear green gaze that betrayed nothing. Ami's face spoke of everything she was feeling now, however, unashamedly. Makoto saw gratitude there, and apology. What was most relieving to see, though, was the return of her seemingly unshakable faith. So long as Ami believed there was a way, Makoto had never felt doubt. It took her by surprise when Ami shoved her way back into a hug, though, and she was glad Ami couldn't see the look on her face when she did.
"When you say it like that, Mako-chan, I have to believe you. I'm glad we felt the same. I promise I'll do all I can to get us through this. Thank you."
"It's only because I believe in you that I can be brave," Makoto said softly; Ami didn't answer, and Makoto had to wonder if she'd heard at all.