The pale luminescence of a bright full moon splashed over her room and across her eyes as Makoto came awake. She worked her throat and scraped a dry, sticky tongue around in vain search for moisture. Gummy, heavy eyelids laboriously creaked upwards over protesting eyes. Working her stiff arms to lever herself from the bed, she paused for a minute to untangle herself from twisted sheets. In the bathroom, she flipped on the light and squinted in the sudden brightness. Bitingly cold water filled her cupped hands and she splashed it into her face and eyes to invigorate herself. She repeated the process several times, lastly gulping down several cupped handfuls to sooth her throat. Amidst wiping moisture from her mouth with swipe of her sleeve, she paused and stared into the mirror. An unpleasant and unsavory individual was looking back at her with dull puffy eyes and wild unkempt hair that stuck out every which way from a ponytail that curled down to wrinkled, twisted clothing. Looking steadily at this creature, she reached a hand to the side and turned off the light.
The kitchen presented itself as an excellent next goal to stumble towards. Through the sitting room she noted that it was two o'clock in the morning. Time for breakfast, her stomach told her. She made a meal of a plate of cold sandwiches and a glass of water, swallowing the slight lump that formed in her throat when she saw the plate in the refrigerator. She leaned over the counter on her elbows and chewed thoughtfully.
Wasn't this a pleasant scene, she thought. It was her fault. What was the matter with her? She knew, though. Even now amidst what regret she felt, she could still detect a dull, red streak of resentment underlying her feelings. This certainly wasn't the first time that her temper had gotten her into more than she could handle, but this could make a case for being the worst. When Makoto had heard that Ami had been here for several days already, and that chances were she would never have known, it had felt like a stinging slap to her cheek. She'd struck back. Weighing both scenarios, she also thought that she'd much rather try to get herself into a fistfight with Sailor Uranus again, than have to look Ami in the face later today.
She wearily shook her head, and polished off the last sandwich from the pile. Still feeling out of sorts, she also took out the cups of anmitsu that she'd prepared earlier. Pouring both into a bow and tossing a couple scoops of cherry vanilla ice cream on top. Just the kind of summer dish that would have been a delight to share, she thought; Ami would have enjoyed it.
Her fingers spread wide over the cold, hard kitchen counter. It was two in the morning, she had ice cream, and she felt quite distinctly blue. There was only one thing to do. She changed locale to the living room, turned on the floor lamp in the corner, and curled up on the couch. Her book lay on the table, Ami's slender mark sticking from the pages. Makoto gently drew it out. She held it carefully between two fingers, then placed it carefully atop her low table. For now, time to ignore her own problems in sweet, sticky sugar and a sweet, sticky romance, wherein everything worked out fine.
Six hours later, a bowl of long-congealed syrup lay on the floor by the couch, spoon slowly cementing into it, and Makoto was turning the last page with relished enjoyment. Makoto thought about the last, tenderly romantic scene with a smile, which turned quickly to a grimace. Groaning, she dropped her head onto the arm of the couch and wearily laid the book open across her eyes. Her first thought then had been of Ami, but chances were the other girl didn't want to hear about the book now. Or ever.
Tears, sleep, ice cream, novel; now she was thinking much more clearly, and growled in frustration at herself. If there was one good thing about being the rash and decisive senshi, however, it was that Makoto never felt too embarrassed about correcting her mistakes. She would just have to apologize. She didn't even need an excuse to go see Ami, as they were all meeting back later today anyway. After it was over with, Makoto could draw Ami aside, apologize for her behavior, and try to explain why she'd become so upset. That would be hard to tell without explaining everything, but that didn't matter to Makoto now. However Ami responded, it could not be any worse than the way things stood now, and had only a chance to become better. Double to gain and nothing to lose; Makoto liked those kind of odds.
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Filled with determined rational or no, she still approached Usagi's door with trepidation. Tightening and loosing fingers with restless tension, she filled her lungs and resolve and walked inside. The others were already there, Minako, Usagi, and Rei chatting animatedly around the table, while Ami sat with serene eyes fixed on some book or another in her lap. Ami was still the first to look up, however, and observe Makoto with such wintry regard that she felt a chill whisper over the base of her neck.
"Everyone, Makoto-san has arrived," she stated, slightly stiffly.
"Finally," Minako greeted her with a smile, "We've got some..." Minako's voice trailed away, her clear eyes blinking a few times. Rei and Usagi were going through similar reactions, and all three stared at Ami. Azure eyes merely looked impassively back to her book, ignoring them, so they all three turned their stupefied gazes to Makoto instead. She felt heat rising to her cheeks,
"What's the matter with all of you, do I have something stuck in my teeth? What news from the boys in blue?" Makoto spoke with feigned unconcern, pasting on a thin smile that she hoped looked as thought it came from somebody confident, rather than slightly sick to her stomach. Minako and Usagi looked at her as expected, brows furrowed and staring in clear disbelief to her assumed attitude, but Rei was a bit more sympathetic. She didn't appear any more convinced, but at least moved on without another question.
"We heard back from the interrogators, and the good news is the two perpetrators sang like habitual drunks."
"Wait, how's that?" Minako interrupted with a raised eyebrow.
"Loudly, enthusiastically, and off-key," Rei answered, "The only consistent information we got out of them is a claim that they're from Brazil. Not Brazilian citizens, but they purport that the rest of what they describe as their 'army' is located within the nation's borders. This is where their stories diverge. One places their base of operations an hour southwest of Manaus, the other about two hours northeast of the city of Bonito," as she spoke, Ami took an interest and walked over to the computer in the corner of the room.
"That's quite a disparity, Rei-chan," she noted, waving the others over to look. Both the cities were a good distance inland from the coast, though on the banks of the Amazon river. One was far north, the other far south.
"What about the other two that were there?" Makoto inquired.
"The woman who was shot is in intensive care. Stable, but still not conscious. The other--"
"Absolutely refused to talk, mm-hmm. Solid as a rock, he was, not getting a word out of him," Usagi interrupted Rei, speaking in a strangely clipped, hasty manner. Ami was still intent on the screen before her, so she couldn't see, but Makoto was well able to catch the nervous glance that Usagi threw at Ami's back.
"...right," Rei affirmed after a pause, "He didn't say a word," Makoto noted also an uncomfortable twist to Rei's lips.
"So, ah," Minako ventured, clearing the suddenly thick air around the conversation, "They said something about having an army? Like, a real one?"
"They're probably exaggerating," Rei answered, "These kind of groups would have a tendency to exaggerate their own importance, even to--maybe especially to--their own membership. Nobody's come out to take credit, which is a little unusual, but as their mission didn't exactly produce anything more than three captured--"
"Four!" Usagi hissed.
"Er, yes, four, four captured operatives,” Rei corrected herself lamely, “and one dead TPD officer, it's not that unusual that nobody would want to claim responsibility. There might not be any real reason to think there's more out there, but we can't ignore the threat.. Like Ami-chan noted yesterday, they have to have some kind of serious financial backing, which is worrisome enough in itself."
Makoto watched Ami turn around in her chair, a pained look to her eyes. Her deep blue eyes blinked rapidly, and Makoto was sure Usagi was wasting her time trying to continue any deception by this point. Makoto tried to steer the discussion to less sensitive matters,
"Right, right, Rei-chan, I don't think any of us were planning on ignoring what happened. So, what now, couldn't we just buzz over with some spy planes and see what's up?"
"Actually, we can't. The jungle canopy makes air reconnaissance next to useless. Besides, any secret organization worth their salt would go to ground for at least a little bit after their operatives get captured. With good reason, as it happens. So, I suppose we could try to send in some ground espionage, but it would be a good hike, and the chances of their finding anything..." Rei shrugged, "Anybody have any other suggestions?"
"Do we need any other suggestions?" Makoto spoke up first, "Reconnaissance is what we need, and ground is the way to go. I don't have anything I really need to be doing for a little while. When do I leave?"
"What!?" Usagi exclaimed, "Mako-chan, what are you talking about? You're not going anywhere!"
"Is that a royal order, my Queen?" Makoto asked with a raised eyebrow, "Who better to send? When the senshi aren't running around in skirts and blowing things up, we're nondescript teenage girls; not exactly your soldier archetype. Plus, I wouldn't have to lug around any weaponry or conspicuous communications gear. Heck, I wouldn't even need a lighter to start a campfire, when you get right down to it. A senshi is ideal. And, out of the senshi, who's best suited for a nice, arduous trek through a jungle with chance for combat?"
"Not you.”
Makoto turned to Ami, surprised.
"Why not?"
"Can you navigate, for one? Could you expand short supplies with edible plants? Tend your wounds if you got hurt? Protect yourself from poisonous creatures and various toxic plants? Can you communicate with the native populace, or work with the local currency? That is, I'm sure you could handle whomever came your way, if you ever find anything." With every question, Makoto felt doubts grow in her sureness. The last rebuke, however, even delivered in Ami's gentle voice, served to ignite her temper. It did not supply her with any adequate rebuttals, though. She looked stonily into Ami's frosty gaze, and they held one another as such long enough to make the others in the room uncomfortable.
"Oh come on now, for goodness sake! What's wrong with you two?" Minako demanded.
"Nothing," Makoto said shortly, followed by Ami just after,
"Not a thing. I was just about to propose that I accompany Makoto-san, I had no idea she would be so against the idea..."
"Wait, what? I thought you had to be back to your studies in a week?"
"I believe that, quite some time ago, I answered this question: 'What I'm doing here is far more important.' That hasn't changed, whatever else may have."
"I'm sure I could get by..." Makoto mumbled stubbornly, the implication that she had obligated Ami into doing something that she would rather not irking her. How exactly she planned to do that, and why exactly she wanted to try, Makoto wasn't sure, but this wasn't the way she wanted things to be.
Unseen to the both of them so engrossed in the other, conflict flickered unhappily in Usagi's furrowed brow and worried lips. Usagi's concern for her friends battled with Serenity's concern for her Kingdom, and it was only when Rei noticed and her and whispered into her ear that she relaxed a few degrees. She still wasn't happy, though, as she turned her lips down at her bodyguard, and said to the rest of the room,
"Fine, fine. Fine! If anybody can do what needs to be done and come back in one piece, it's the two of you together. Both of you get ready to go at whatever time you decide, because you're both going. Royal decree and everything," Usagi walked first to Makoto and wrapped her in a fierce embrace, then kissed her on the cheek, "Don't do anything stupid," she warned her occasionally headstrong friend. Then she walked to Ami and repeated the process, the only change being her warning, "You don't do anything stu..." She paused, and struggled for words, "Never mind. Just be careful."
Usagi pulled away before either of them could say anything in return, sauntering despondently across the room. Rei turned soft lavender eyes to her but before she went to comfort her princess, she spoke sharply to the pair taking still fuming indirectly at one another,
"Interestingly, Mamoru said that he expected you two to volunteer, but perhaps not quite like that. Maybe you can few days you can work out whatever bug crawled into both your panties before you leave, you heard the royal decree,” Ami averted her eyes uncomfortably at Rei's edged tone, while Makoto just regarded her coolly and invited her to continue with a curt gesture, “Also, he didn't want to appear rude by cutting short his diplomatic tour of European heads of government, but his Highness said he'll be back in a few weeks to turn his effort to this problem."
"Also Luna and Artemis," Minako added, "They're getting a little pudgy from all the peace and quiet, a little electronic snooping will be good for them. Don't think you have to figure everything out yourselves and save all mankind, you have friends that will be working too."
"Right, right," Makoto assured them with a devil-may-care grin, "We'll be good. Eh, Ami-chan?" Makoto addressed her friend almost habitually, forgetting for a split-second their differences. A warm spring breeze drifted through Ami's eyes, though Makoto thought that it was likely for the benefit of the other senshi in the room, rather than for her.
"We will. Please don't worry yourselves too much. We'll come back safely, I promise, Usagi-chan," Ami called out lastly, to the Queen who was still sulking a little bit in the back of the room.
"Then... that's a promise, Ami-chan. I know you wouldn't break a promise, and if you do, you'll be sorry," Usagi ignored the complete absurdity of that remark as she pouted. She sniffed loudly, eliciting a roll of the eyes from Rei,
"Don't bother trying to talk to her right now. She'll get over it. I think you two have your own problems to think about. Act stupid and get yourselves hurt, and she's gonna get hurt too, keep that in mind."
Makoto's hard mask dissolved in Rei's caustic tone, and she wondered how exactly she'd ended up in this situation anyway, when she'd meant to apologize. With a self-conscious laugh at making the others worry about her, she turned to Ami, but found her standing up and walking towards the door.
"Huh--hey, wait, Ami-chan!"
"I have to make a phone call, back in a minute," Ami nodded her head shortly at Makoto, voice calm, but Makoto thought she saw an odd look to her eyes. The light wooden door frame slid and clacked shut, leaving her standing with her hand raised to emptiness. She collapsed back into a chair with a dissatisfied grunt, and saw Minako looking down at her.
"Don't ask," she sighed, "You know I won't answer."
Minako opened her mouth as though she might test that, but shrugged and picked up her bag. Makoto watched her walk out. She rolled her eyes over to see Rei whispering with her chin resting on Usagi's shoulder, though the queen didn't look as though she were any more fond of current events than she had been. Makoto shrugged, figuring that as long as Usagi was going to be all mopey anyway, she might as well have as much reason as possible,
"So one of the terrorists died," Makoto spoke, more a statement than a question.
Rei and Usagi froze. Clenching her fist, Rei answered with a simple,
"Yes."
"Ami-chan got him."
"Yes."
"The sharpshooter?"
"It wasn't her fault!” Rei said defensively, “The rhapsody didn't really... but the fall--"
Usagi interrupted, "You aren't going to tell her, are you, Mako-chan?"
Makoto closed her eyes, "I think she already knows."
Usagi didn't reply. Makoto relaxed and tried to patiently wait. Ami didn't return.
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Makoto tried asking Usagi and Rei where Ami was staying, but they told her quite clearly that they weren't going to unless she told them what was going on. Makoto left, and went back to her apartment. Chagrined, she washed and put away the plate and bowls that she discovered she'd left out. Then she sat herself splayed out on her couch, wondering at her next action. Ami hadn't come back, though she said she only needed to make a phone call. A phone call...
Makoto lurched up, eyes wide. How could she have not realized... she put her fingers to her temple, though she was smiling now. This was no problem. Sh reached into her pocket, and drew out her communicator. She activated it and prepared to signal Ami. Her fingers froze over the pad.
She blinked rapidly. This was familiar, too familiar. Was it really going to be so easy right now, making this call? It was all she had needed to do for quite a while now, and hadn't been able to. Was it because Ami was here again, and she wasn't worrying about not getting to see her? Makoto wondered that it could really be so simple. Or perhaps there was another reason. She was certainly worried about Ami, how she hadn't returned, and how she'd behaved when she was leaving. Makoto shook her head angrily. This wasn't the time to be stewing over the past. She wanted to call Ami now, so she would, that was all there was to it.
She depressed the key, hand trembling despite herself as she held the communicator awaiting a response. She wasn't sure if she was just nervous, or if it actually took the other quite some time to find that somebody was trying to talk with her, but it felt like an hour before the device came to life and she heard Ami's voice.
“Makoto--” Her very first word was enough to frustrate Makoto, and she interrupted.
“Ami-chan, stop that! I'm sorry, I really am,” she said in a rush. There was a startled pause on the other end of the line, that continued. Makoto grew nervous again,
“Ami-chan? Really, truly, I didn't mean all of those things I said, it's just that...” Makoto took a deep breath, “The thing is, that honestly, I--”
“I'm sorry too, Mako-chan. You just asked a question, and I got angry as well.”
Makoto stood with the communicator, mouth agape. She felt as though she were deflating. Gone was the vision she'd had of gradually winning over an angry Ami with apologies and explanations. Without that reason, she found that she was having more difficulty bringing up any explanations.
“Maybe neither of us really knows why we didn't keep in contact, but we can't blame one another. Friends again, Mako-chan?”
Makoto felt her resolve shrinking further. She did feel a sense of relief in that, while before there was still a chance that she and Ami might have remained distant, now it seemed as though that were going to be helped for sure. She smiled.
“Friends, Ami-chan,” she said, but then remembered the other reason she'd called, “I wanted to apologize earlier—sorry for getting irritated when we were with the others—but then you left and never came back. Is everything all right?”
“Er... fine, Mako-chan. Everything is--” Makoto frowned at her evasive tone, and her expression made its way into her voice as she said,
“Hey now, you just said friends again, let's not start doing secrets again already.”
“Really, it's no big deal--”
“Good, then it won't matter if you talk about it.”
On the other end of the line, Ami laughed softly. She really didn't want to talk about her troubles, but this hearkened back to many other times that Makoto had bulled her way into making Ami be more open about her concerns. Come to think of it, she usually ended up feeling better at the end of those sessions, even if nothing had changed or been fixed. None of those times had been quite like this, however. Makoto quickly saved her the troubled of bringing the subject up, at least.
“Is it about the man whose death you may have caused?” Makoto said bluntly.
“Usagi-chan wasn't very good about hiding that, was she?”
“It was more Rei-chan that kept forgetting she was supposed to be hiding something.”
“It was nice that they tried, though,” Ami said sadly.
“Was it?” Makoto asked.
“What do you mean?”
“They're acting like you did something unspeakably awful, Ami-chan. You didn't mean to hurt him that badly, and you may have saved my life in the process—and the life of that woman terrorist as well. Don't forget, this was the same man that shot at you, and shot me, and killed that police officer. All of that, and you still didn't mean to kill the guy. There's not a lot of people in the world that would do that.”
“But maybe I could have--”
“Maybe you could have, but maybe I would have ended up dead, and you might have, and innocent people might have. Maybes are good to consider for the future, Ami, not the past. Although, maybe I could have though about how you'd be feeling about this before I got all cranky earlier,” Makoto realized that she probably hadn't helped this at all, Ami was going through plenty enough without the person who was supposed to be her best friend attacking her as well.
“Thank you, Mako-chan. I feel a little silly about it now, just running off like that.”
“Nah, we didn't give you much reason to do otherwise, with hem walking on eggshells and me, well...”
“Right. Perhaps I was being a little cold, though.”
“Just maybe,” Makoto agreed. This wasn't so hard, she was coming to decide. This still felt a little different, of course, a touch more formal than they used to be, a little more careful. She couldn't even try to convince herself that the feeling between them was the same as it had been before Ami left. Things were, however, looking up.
“So did you even have a phone call to make?”
“Yes, I did. I inquired, and moved up my interview with the doctor to tomorrow. I still want to get that taken care of before we leave.”
Makoto's eyes widened. Of all the things to forget, but she had, she was leaving the country soon to hike through a jungle.
“Right, did you have any time you wanted to do that?”
“I thought we could be ready by Monday evening at the earliest, if that works for you?”
Two days, Makoto thought, “Uh, sure, nothing wrong with that. I think I kinda rushed into this pretty quickly, and you got dragged along. I'm sure if we talked to Usagi, we wouldn't have to go do this. It's kind of silly, anyway--”
“It's okay, Mako-chan. I wasn't joking when I said this was more important to me. I don't just mean that as an obligation, either. I can become a doctor in every medical field there is, but I would still be a Sailor Senshi first. We might not have any success, but this is definitely worth doing on the chance that we might stop it from happening again.”
“Anything I should do to prepare?”
“Make trail mix.”
Makoto paused, “What?”
“Or whatever you like. Compact and nutritious. Military rations don't sit well on my stomach.”
Makoto laughed, “Fine, find. Anything else, though?”
“Not that I can think of. I'm going to go do that interview and organize my notes, then I'll probably compile a list of other supplies and plan a route for us. You can help if you like...”
“But I'd probably just get in the way. I'll make supplies.”
“Mako-chan's travel rations will probably be a good enough reason to hike anyway.”
Makoto blushed lightly.