Chapter 2- The Painful truth, the Painful Reject.
There was still no reply from her, was she thinking of how to tell me “Jaime you’re nice and all, but I don’t swing that way” in a ‘not so brutal way’? Or was she too shocked to even think? Or…maybe… just maybe that she felt the same way about me? Omg, if she felt the same way about me, I can go over for sleepovers, I can hug her, I can even hold her hand! And maybe I can kiss her too…I wonder how it feels like. That’s ImpossibleI then realize the truth; even if she does like me back, she’s too realistic to accept this kind of thing, and its nearly impossible because she already have a boyfriend. A tall, cute Asian boyfriend…
Just as my train of through was blabbing on about random things, Sam decided to get my attention…My long awaited reply was going to be announced! My dreams can become real! Or…her reply can sent me to hell…sighs..
“Humm…I don’t know…It depends on who.” Great, only if she knew…wait, she’s GOING to know. GREAT!
“eh..ha..eh..um…Sammy, I mean Sam…Er…Would you kill me if…lets just say…I’m deeply in love with you..” yay, I said it, three cheers for me! Not. Great, you just lost a bestfriend that you tried so hard to make…
“…Whatever.” Sam said to me, in a voice lower than normal; just a little bit lower.
“Well…I do like you. A lot too…” And Jaime the smartass just have to keep talking and there’s no way back now, you confessed to her…
“So?” Now, isn’t that typical of Sam, giving me the worse answer possible…Kinda…At least she didn’t freak out…
“AHHHH, well, yeah, that’s that, and gosh! You could have given me a better answer!! You’re cruel cruel cruel! Meanie meanie meanie meanie! MEANIEEE!!” Well, as for me, I’m too stupid to think anyways, so simply said the things on my mind without the words going through my brain…almost “you could have given me a better answer!! Don’t you even care about me?! HELLO! I just confessed to you! That makes me gay! Isn’t this a big surprise to you?”
Even though my reaction to her reply isn’t the best to normal people, to some, they may mistaken it that I’m mad or out of my mind. But I know Sam understood that, it was the “thank-you” kind of thing…the words I said don’t really mean anything, it’s my tone of voice that tells Sam how I feel. …It’s my way of thanking her for not changing our friendship…Even if she broke my heart.
Its kind of funny how my best friend can understand me so well to a point where I know they understand me, every little thing I say or even just a glance to her, she would know how I feel, or will do. Though, hey, that’s what best friends are for…
“Nope, no surprise at all. So what if you’re gay? And no, this is the best and the ONLY answer I can and will give you. Haha.” I know it, I bet she’s smirking right now, even if I can’t see her.
“You’re truly cruel, and how come it isn’t a big surprise?” Like, its…not possible that she knew…right? Like, I never told anyone this. Only kept this to my self.
“Jaime, you’re not that hard to see through…And you’re Jaime, nothing is a surprise anymore…The next thing we may know, you’re going to say you’re zoosexual or something!” Oh great, teasing me.
“Sam, you’re so nice, to tease me about my sexuality, you know, its not a choice...and How did we even become friends again? I must have been blind to be come friends with you…we’re completely different! You’re an idiot who puts too much effort in to everything! Ever since grade six! As for me , I’m a B- average student on EVERYTHING, with the acceptations of French which I get a 30 percent average in…And once again for the millionth time tonight, you’re cruel! You, Sam-the-cold-blooded, have once again broke another person’s heart. And it happens to be MINE this time, your bestfriends heart! How can you bear to keep living through life like this?”
“I dunno... I wonder how do I keep living?! Oh right! By eating, sleeping and breathing! Genius. And you’re the one that tried to become my friend in the first place, not me. And whose heart have I ever broke?” right now, I want to run around Sam in circles; just to annoy the heck out of her and then get the “kick-slap-punch-push-pinch-bite” treatment from her.
“You broke Cody’s heart, Samson’s heart, Corry’s heart, Jason’s heart, and MOST importantly MY heart!”
“Your heart don’t matter, and those people NEVER had their hearts broken by me!”
“Yeah they did! They all liked you, and you never returned their feelings!”
“Whatever, you’re wrong and you know it, and by-the-way, I got to go. Mom needs the phone to call someone. See you tomorrow!” Sam replied me, like normal, like I never confessed to her.
“Wait wait! What day is tomorrow? I kind of forgot, and what do we have for first period?” I asked eagerly, for the reasons, One: I really don’t remember and Two: I want to hear her voice for one ore time.God I’m crazy over her, damn it.
“Don’t you ever remember those kind of things? Its been five months since school started…Well, tomorrow is day six, and we have English first period. Darn it, I really got to go, my mom’s starting to nag. If I don’t go soon, she’ll start to scream at me.”
“Fine, bye, cold-blooded-reptile, too busy to even talk to your bestfriend!” Man, I know she have to go, I can’t help it but to make her stay, even if its just a few more seconds…
“You’re not my bestfriend, you just self pro-claimed that! And bye bye.” She hung up before I could say anything else. Oh well.
I peeked at my watch to see it was 11:14Pm, god that was a long talk…Two hours. Well, typical of girls I guess. I decided that I would go to the living room and watch TV on my 52”inch Plasma TV that my dumbass parents bought for no reason; our old TV (27”inch) wasn’t even broken! but no!! They decided to buy this thing at Future Shop for 3,200 along with a useless set of speakers for the TV.
Then I just sat there, and watched the programs, or tried to find a program to watch; apparently that night there was no good shows on, at least none that I liked…And for God Sakes we had over 500 channels! Useless Tv, useless Box set. Stupid Rogers, stupid life, stupid parents, stupid school, stupid me, stupid…Sam…
Even though Sam gave me the best reply possible, in the most comfortable way. So that our friendship wouldn’t change and we can simply pretend nothing have happened between us.
She still rejected me.
That was the painful truth, and its so true that it hurts just to think about it; then again, Jaime be realistic she couldn’t accept you. You’re both girls living in this world and born in to families that will never accept it.
I started to sing, it’s an odd habit of mine and every time I sing, I make the song up.
You don’t understand me…
Why must you see me this way??
Am I so different?
In this world
in this life
oh what must I do….
For you to… see me?
For you to.. love me?
Oh what must I do?
Why, why why why why…I wonder why
Do you find it amusing! To hurt me so??
You are, truly, cruel…………
After that, I went back to my room and tired to go to sleep…
Lets hope tomorrow will be a better day.