Am I Blue?
My name is Bernadette Garennier; ah well it once was, for now I am la comtesse de chateu bleu. This is my story.
I was born the youngest of four daughters from a very beautiful mother. However it seemed that my mother was stingy with her favors for her beauty trickled down to us less and less and her youngest recieved the least. Not that I ever let that bother me; what I lacked in looks I more than made up for with my fiery spirit, generously given down by my father. More than once I got in trouble with my maman and my soeurs for being forward in the presence of guests or unruly or just being unladylike but I couldn't help my curiousity.
I had a burning thirst for knowledge like no other and whenever our papa went on his trips abroad- for he was a merchant and aa wealthy one at that- he would always bring back books and literatures about different worlds out there- nations that flourished in the middle of the desert, cities floating over the great waters, fantastical tales that no one but me seemed ever willing to believe. He never chided my questions and tried his best to answer them...but of course in life there are many paths one must take on their own.
My mother called me a stubborn child, l'enfant de boheme, and that I got this unseemly streak from her mother who was gypsy born. I never knew my grand mother and all I knew about her came from what maman told me. It seemed that she was a wild woman in her day, as beautiful as she was stubborn and set in her ways. Maman complained that whenever her mother made her mind about a thing, not even the moving heavens could set her away. I was glad for that one thing, and secretly it warmed me to hear those words- of course she meant it as a byword and a warning. I would only come to realize later.
It was my seventeenth birthday and the cirque had come to the town. I begged and begged my mother to let me go with my sisters and at first she refused but eventually relented. My older sister Adele was charged with keeping me in place but she abandoned me the moment we were a stone's throw from home. I did not mind; I rather prefered wandering about and learning new things on my own and what other opportunity than the cirque? They were always teeming with strange people and qruesome sights, quelle horrors! I had no fear of being manhandled for ours was a small town and my parents were very well known. Besides I could defend myself as well as any man.
The cirque was a wondrous sight to my eyes; there were men who swallowed swords, men who swallowed fire, a woman with scales for skin, another with a beard like a man. I saw monkeys in a wire cage and it took my breath away for I had only read of them in my papa's books. There were other wild animals too, even one they called an elephunt and it towered over everything else in the cirque, birds of different colors and sizes. I ate to my fill of exotic foods, giving little thought that I might be sick later. I might and I might not but that was a risk I was willing to take. The sun was setting and I had seen nothing of my sisters, nevertheless maman's strict warning rang in my ear and I turned around for home. I was almost to the gates when a small sign caught my eyes. It was a palm with an eye in the middle-fortune teller! According to maman my grandmother was one while she lived and had an uncanny gift. It was not passed on to her children or grandchildren- not that I know of- and I was consumed with curiusity. I walked toward the tent and walked in, bending low over the draped curtains as I whispered, "Bonsoir madame."
I heard a low chuckle in the darkness and a candle flickered to life, revealing a face not much older than my own. She was rather pretty, with eyes the color of water, her brightly patterned dress cut shockingly low in the front and shoulders. I had no notions of what a fortune teller looked like but nothing I could have imagined looked like this. She smiled and beckoned closer, "Do you want to have your fortune read?" I swallowed an nodded, feeling strangely apprehensive when her eyes met mine and looked away. Her eyes read too much, knew too much, and that made me uncomfortable. Nevertheless I had made the decision to walk in here and running away now would seem cowardly. I walked in and sat on a low stool opposite her, her smile unnerving me more and more. She took my right hand for a moment and then giggled,
"Art thou afraid? You need not be, ye who are fiery of heart and bold in spirit." Her words didn't quite relax me but I felt a little better. She picked up a deck of cards and began shuffling, humming softly to a song as she did. Her voice tickled around my ears and seemed to wrap around my head for a moment, and then she extened the deck to me, "Pick the first card." I gave the deck a closer look and realize it is no ordinary playing deck; the inscriptions seem arcane and figures look very unfamiliar. I hand her the first card and she flips it over. 'The Wheel of fortune, well thou art about to see good things come to ye. They may seem wonderful and unexpected...perhaps all too good to be true..."
Her eyes turned speculative as she extends her hand for the next card. "Justice...fair balance in the universe." Her eyebrows quirked up with the next card and I saw why; even I knew the visage of the grim one. "Death, transformation...passage. Life as thou know it is about to change." I handed her yet another card and her smile widened, "Temperance...the right vessel to mix contenders...thou art an interesting person indeed. All four Major arcana, and in that order..." She leaned forward and cast a dark cloth aside, revealing a crystal orb in the middle of the table. Her palms spread over the ball and her eyes suddenly glowed just as she shut them.
I tensed, waiting with bated breath for her next actions and then she opened them, her voice seeming harsher than before, "The choices ye make, the paths ye seek, take heed that your heart and soul they not break." I felt my throat clench as I stared into the smoky orb and it suddenly cleared. I was no longer looking into a ball but a pair of eyes...startling blue eyes so clear and intense, they pierced right into my soul...And then they were gone and I was sitting back on the stool, staring into the fortune teller's eyes. Her smile had turned a little sad and I swore I read pity in her eyes.
She leaned over and took my hand, "Thou art strong of heart and tis just as well, for ye walk a lonely road. Oh how far shall it lead you from home." She hesitated and reached around her neck, removing a chain from the many adorning her chest. It was small but fine, with a pendant that looked like a lamp. "For when the road seems dark and you need a light to see your path." I looked up and swallowed, licking my dry lips to murmur my thanks. "H-how much shall I render for the reading?" She chuckled and shrugged, "For another a silver coin but thou art like kin, what ever ye spare shall suffice."
I gave her all I had and made my way out, my head filled with dark apparitions and flashing blue eyes. What did all that mean, me leaving so far from home? It was almost laughable now, even though back then I believed her every word, for I know my fawning father would never let me out of his sight and my mother would fain keep me close for much longer to 'teach me the ways of a proper lady' It didn't make sense, none at all-
"Garde!"
A voice rang out close to me, followed by the sharp neighing of a horse. I gasped and turned around as the stallion reared up, narrowly missing me thanks to the rider's skill. Death....the card the fortune teller told me...it's all coming true. I felt my knees give out from under me and began crashing to the floor, only to be caught my strong arms. The scent of jasmine filled my nose and a husky voice murmured in my ear, "A thousand apologies, ma belle dame, I hope you are not hurt."
I began shaking my head and looked up, freezing instantly as my eyes met with my savior's. Startling blue eyes, so clear and intense...I felt myself go slack and fall into a swoon, hearing that voice calling so urgently....