Chapter Five - Connection or attraction?
Almost fourteen days passed by, many very tense and nerve-wracking days since the large party had been held to welcome young Susan. Everything at the Smyth’s mansion seemed to be running smoothly, but things are not what they seem to be. Lives in the mansion have been incredibly altered by the past week or so changes.
For the core of the Smyth family and workers, it seemed to be almost normal. Mr. Smyth went off to his office in the city, Ambrose, being his normal irritating self was usually with a tutor for most of the day and the mansion staff going about their usual routines as they always have... but the last, and newest member seemed not to be drawn along with the busy bliss that drove the house. In fact, it was far from it.
With a stalwart resolve larger than herself, Susan had been really trying to get herself acquainted with her new parents more... but it seemed like it was not quite working just yet. It was as if things were sliding downhill faster than ever. Nothing she could do or even did, ever was good enough for her new mother.... to the point that she felt even she was not good enough to be herself.
Since that day of the party, the woman had gotten more than just critical towards the young girl, Mrs. Smyth was almost beyond callous with ever sentence she ended up saying to the young girl... she was down right determining.
Always having one eye on Susan while she ate, correcting her speech at every turn and even watching just how Susan walked and moved, the very overbearing woman was always near... and always had a harsh commentary ready when she had spotted something that was not up to her standards in the way the young girl acted or behaved. It was almost like Susan was never just good enough for what ever reason.
Mrs. Smyth was spending most of the days in the process of ‘grooming’ her new daughter to be more ladylike. With a viperous tongue, the woman was quick to be more than just critiquing...she was making sure to let Susan know of her little ‘disappointments’ with incredible clarity... making sure Susan knew that she was very unrefined and ‘common’, even going as far as having a etiquette teacher come in from the city after the normal tutor she had hired to school Susan, had come and gone.
Miss Texthood, the tutor hired for Susan by her mother, was a nice middle aged woman from the city a few miles away, who came to the house every day like clockwork... except for Sundays. The woman was very prim and proper, a true lady in every sense of the word, somebody Susan could really respect. Miss Texthood had quickly became one of the few bright spots in the life of the newest Smyth.
The teacher always seemed so pleased at what the young Smyth girl brought to the lessons, constantly complementing the girl on almost every aspect of the studies she was giving out. The teacher seemed to actually enjoy teaching the seemingly shy young girl... yet for all what Susan was doing, it did seem not to even matter to Mrs. Smyth in the least how the girl was doing with the tutor.
Harsh and blatantly rude, Mrs. Smyth constantly was telling both teachers just what she wanted them to teach Susan... and how it should be presented. The gentle, good natured Miss Texthood seemed to just take Susan’s overbearing adoptive mother in stride, and was always very encouraging for the young girl.
As opposite as you could have possibly have gotten, was Susan’s worst fear come true. The etiquette tutor, Miss Albright was exactly just like Susan’s mother... and was equally as harsh towards her.
Susan saw how Miss Texthood handled her mother, and wished that she could do that in the first place... as the constant attack of harsh words from Mrs. Smyth were already having a marked effect on her. Each syllable seemed like a hot poker straight into her own soul, and the woman seemed to not notice... or just not care. All her mother truly cared about, was what Susan could learn next, dispite how good of a student she seemed to be, and Miss Albright totted that same thing.
One afternoon, after Miss Texthood had left and the dreaded Miss Albright not due until sometime later in the day, Susan decided to allow herself to go and find a little space away from her overbearing mother, but felt guilty even to be thinking of it. She felt like she was being so ungrateful towards her new parents, but it felt like the were not happy with her. She needed some time to herself for a little while, as the past two weeks had been such a whirlwind of changes, she was feeling so overwhelmed with it..
Sneaking out of the house when Mrs. Smyth was busy with Ambrose’s tutor and with her new father out at work for many hours by then... it was a perfect time to escape for awhile and have a little respite from everything. With great stealthiness, Susan got herself out of the house and soon was walking very quickly away from the large place, uncertain of where she was actually going.
The young girl was in search of a quiet, out of the way place to simply sit and think without the constant lording of her mother. Not knowing the layout of the Smyth’s estate yet, she just walked along a little while, trying to visually map things out... noting as she did just how large and expansive the estate was.
Susan spotted three large trees that were almost growing together that stood behind the stables, which itself sat well over fifty yards away from the house. Susan smiled, as it reminded her of the quietness of a grove of trees that were near where she had grown up. She began to head across the yard to the trees, assured that those trees would be a good place as any to sit and think. To her, it seemed to be a perfect place.
The girl purposely made her way over to the far side of the trees, which were hidden by the stable building, so as to hide away from the constant hovering and condescending attitude of her mother. She was more than a little surprised to find someone was already sitting there in the bright sunlight of the spring..
She had found the red headed Alice was the one sitting int the shade of these trees, sitting back leaned up against the trunk of the middle tree while she vacantly stared up at the few clouds that were floating by in the sky. The young servant girl sat there in silent repose, obviously she was not even aware that Susan was standing just a few feet away from her.
Susan stood so silently, staring at the girl for a moment. She quickly began to notice the sleekness of the girl’s profile from the side. Alice’s milky skin seemed to be so amazing out in the sunlight, showing just how pretty she really was. The long red hair that flowed down and across the shoulders was like a soft river of fire, which was so shiny and luxurious as it cascaded down her back. Susan could only smile, finding herself captivated by how this girl looked, and enraptured at just who this girl seemed to be.
Susan began taking a few steps backwards to go and find another spot to hide out for a time, realizing that she was thinking this way towards the young servant girl. She was really not understanding why she was so enamored with the girl, remembering that she had been doing that more and more steadily. The more the girl was around, the more times she had noticed what she was doing.
The girl turned all of a sudden, somehow sensing that someone was standing close to her. Her big blue eyes suddenly flashed wide open, her face became white as her gaze fell upon the figure of Susan,
" Miss Susan..." Blurted out the fiery tressed young girl, accompanied by a loud gasp of shock.
The brown haired girl froze on the spot, not knowing what to do at that moment. The two girls stayed where they were, staring at one another for a few seconds. It was like either one of them was knowing what they should do next.
Alice then jumped to her feet, her face was looking very flustered while she tried to collect herself.
" My apology to you... I... I did not see that you were standing there, Miss Susan..." Sputtered the girl, as she wrung her hands roughly in front of herself. " Is there something you need me to do for you?"
Susan shook her head, a little surprised at the girl’s nervous reaction. It was true that she still was not use to the way the servants of the Smyth’s family acted to her, and this was no different... but there was something unusual about how Alice was acting. Susan had noticed that Alice’s conduct was a little different than normal.
" Uh, There is nothing I was needing..." Susan said, not quite knowing what else to say.
" Then ... why are you out here, Miss Susan?" Asked the girl, seemingly having a touch less nervousness than before.
Susan giggled a little, while her eyes could not help but lock on to the shocking blueness of the girl’s eyes.
" To tell the truth..." She began, with another small giggling sound. " I am out here hiding from my Mother for a bit."
" Hiding?" Alice echoed, her face turning into a mask of curiosity... then to one of understanding. " Ahh...From your mother?"
" Guess I don’t understand what my mother is wanting right now... from me." Said Susan, the truth hard to release from being just thoughts, and resulting with nervous giggles..
" I see..." The girl in the black and white dress said, her whole expression lighting up a little.
The brown haired girl just knew that the girl had gotten what she was saying and trying to say besides that. The look that was held in the girl’s beautiful eyes told her that she really did get it. Alice stepped nearer to her and nodded, still looking a little shaky at the moment.
" She has been very hard on you since coming here... more so than she has ever been with Master Ambrose..." Admitted the servant girl, with a half smile.
" She has?"
The girl nodded, her face showing that she was serious about what she was telling Susan
" She is hard on Ambrose as well, but it seems like she really wants you to be pretty much like a perfect girl." Explained the girl. " Ever since you have arrived, I have seen that while I was doing my work for you."
Susan’s eyebrows rose in response to the girl’s very open admission.
" You saw that?" She cautiously asked.
" I have been watching it since then... over the days..." Smiled the girl, seemingly more nervous as she moved a little closer. " It is like she is trying to make you into someone different, something that she sees that you are not... That is what I figure on."
" I don’t really know what to do about it..." Admitted Susan. " It is hard to make her happy... an’ I don’t know what will make her happy with me..." She sighed. " It makes me wonder why they adopted me in the first place."
Alice paused, seemingly thinking on what Susan had said. She shrugged her shoulders, showing that her mind had nothing to give.
" I’ve worked for Mrs. Smyth for a few years now... " Said the girl back, her voice now flattening out. " I wish that I could tell you..." She said finally, after being silent for a few moments. " She is hard on most of the people..."
" How long have you been with the Smyth’s?" Asked Susan.
The girl looked at Susan for a hanging few moments, her eyes had suddenly become vacant. It was as if the topic Susan had asked on, the girl was not ready or wanting to give the answer to that right now. Young Susan understood the look, and decided not to press on it.
" I guess I will find out how to deal with my mother someway..." She said, showing that she was willing not to go on with the question at hand.
" I wish I had some idea to give you..." Said the girl, a little relived at the girl’s sensitivity to her. " I knew they wanted to adopt a girl, because after Master Ambrose was born... Mrs. Smyth cannot bear a child any more.... though I do not know why."
Susan snuffed, as that thought never entered her mind. She wondered the reason that Mrs. Smyth had actually picked her with so many girls at the orphanage. She looked at the girl again, then her mind stopped. It was as if that thought did not matter right then... something about the girl had always stopped her.
The two girls seemed to hang there in limbo, looking at one another, their eyes seemingly locked. Each one seemed unable to move, until a very bellowing voice come from the house. Susan cringed a little, as the voice was clearly of a very irritated Mrs. Smyth. The woman had figured out that she was not in the house.
Susan shuttered, as the woman’s voice could be heard so clearly from here. She smiled a little and turned.
" Guess I should get back inside..." She said, hearing another loud bellow from the woman even clearer than the first few.
" She does not sound happy..." Commented Alice, with a meek looking smile in warning the girl.
" It seems that way..." Nodded Susan, beginning to walk off.
" It is!" Alice stated strongly.
Waving, Susan began to hurry back to the house. She could hear Mrs. Smyth still calling out for her. She could see the small carriage parked out in front of the house, and that told of her etiquette teach being here. She groaned as she hurried, her heart not wanting to learn any more about being a proper girl.
Susan continued on to the house in resignation. She knew already that her complaining about things would do nothing. Her mother wanted, what she wanted and that was that.
The young servant girl nodded, then watched Mrs. Smyth’s new daughter walk off to the mansion. Alice whole body seemed to be trembling a little, as she watched the girl until she could see Susan had entered the house. For a moment more, she watched where the girl had been, her eyes not moving once.
She turned away from the house, and quickly returned to her little spot under the same tree Susan had found her at. Getting comfortable back on the grass, Alice settled in for awhile longer to have her eyes return to watching the passing of the clouds again.
She closed her eyes, and her whispering voice could be barely be head over the light breeze that moved across the Smyth estate..
" Lord... what is it with Miss Susan?" She could be heard asking to the wind, over and over again. She seemed troubled by what ever she was asking God about.
******
Evening time was on the Smyth estate. The sun was slipping away behind the trees for the night, signaling that day was going away for a well earned rest, and letting the moon have its time to shine.
Susan had already retired up to her bedroom, her whole body wanting nothing more than to sleep at this point of time. Her Parents were entertaining another couple in the parlor downstairs, the doors of that room were closed, so she decided that going up to her room was a good thing to do.
Between her two tutors with all of the lessons, and her over bearing mother making things worse, it had been one long day. She was relishing finally getting a chance to strip her clothes off and replacing it with the comfort of her nightgown.
Alice walked in to Susan’s bedroom, just as Susan had removed her all of her clothes to ready for bed, and had not even gotten her nightgown yet. Startled, the very naked brown haired girl gasped and tried to reach her discarded clothing to cover herself, but the were too far to reach. In embarrassment, Susan froze where she was in all of her bare glory, Alice looking at her developing body.
"I should have knocked, Miss Susan..."Stammered the young Alice, as she closed the door quickly to aid in protecting the young lady’s modesty. The servant face was flushed, but the girl’s eyes seemed to simply stare at the girl’s body with more than just shyness. " I am sorry for this, I will make sure I knock first in the future."
Having the red head look at her made her tremble, as no one had seen her fully naked, other than her real mother. Even when taking a bath here at the Smyth’s, they had taken such care to give her privacy....but now there was the pretty fire red headed girl seeing her without one stitch on herself, and she found that did not make here feel very uncomfortable. The trembling came from the smokiness that the girl looking at her with, it was almost as if she was drinking in her very being.
Alice give a smile like none Susan had ever seen, it was almost appreciative in a way. Some boys from back home, and even some at the orphanage had looked at her sort of this way, but none of them had ever looked at her as intense as how Alice was.
" I think you look so pretty right now." The girl commented, her breathing seemed heavy.
" You... do?" Susan said, feeling her body now shiver and tingle.
" Yes." Said the girl right back. " You... your more than pretty..." She blinked once. " Way more..."
Susan blushed brightly, but found herself not wanting to cover herself with her hands. She stood there, her hands down by her sides, letting the girl look her nakedness clearly... and finding it exhilarating under the girl’s gaze. Alice did not turn away, her eyes continually studying ever inch of Susan’s form.... like an artist looks at a fine piece of art.
Susan watched as the girl got the nightgown from the foot of the bed and walked over to her. The young servant lifted the white garment and motioned that she was lifting it over Susan’s head. The brown haired girl lifted her arms over her head, accepting Alice’s help silently as she felt her body continuing to tingle wildly, noticing the girl was still looking at her naked body while helping her. Alice pulled the nightgown over the girl so smoothly, and without saying one word, only giving a small smile.
When Susan had popped her head out of the neck of the garment... once it settled onto her, she found her and Alice were face to face. She gulped, as their eyes seemed to lock together. She saw a flared brightness in those blue-green eyes of the young Smyth’s worker, a type of light that made Susan’s breathing stop and her heart jump.
Susan was so stunned, as Alice leaned her head inward towards her. The girl’s lips brushed hers like a light breeze on a warm night, landing a very tentative kiss. Susan stiffened slightly, as the red head planted the kiss on her, unknowing what to do. Her mind spun like mad, but Susan found herself not even trying to back away or making a move to push the girl away from her... but actually she found herself returning the kiss, their arms had already instinctively embraced each other.
Almost as quickly as she had kissed Susan, Alice broke the kiss and shot back a few feet to stand wide eyed, breathing very heavily. In the dimness of the room, neither of the girls moved once.
The two stared at one another, each seeming to be dazed, confused and shocked at what just happened. For a few moments, only breathing could be heard, other than the whisper soft crackling of the oil lamp that lit the room.
" I am sorry... Miss Susan..." Said Alice, her voice flustered, eyes opened very wide as she backed up... her fingertips lightly over her mouth. " I... I...don’t now what got into me..."
The servant suddenly made a small squeaking sound, then turned and raced from the room, her hand still up at her face as she exited. In that split second, Alice was gone from the room, leaving the girl in the nightgown standing stunned, bathed in the flickering light of the oil lamp behind her.
Susan was unsure of what just happened, or if it had happened. She lifted her own fingers and touched her lips lightly, realizing that she could still feel the shadows of Alice’s lips on her’s... remembering the light taste of salt that came from the girl’s lips. She shuttered, as ever part of her tingled away... then she gasped. She found that it was that simple to see... she had been kissed by a girl... and she had kissed that girl right back.
" Oh my God!!" Her mind repeated that single phrase over and over again, then followed up with a phrase equally as many times. " I kissed her too..."
Susan could not believe it... But it was no dream! She had been kissed by Alice, right on the lips... and she had willingly kissed the girl back. She tried to convince herself that she had not kissed Alice, but the truth was that she did.
She gave a little noise as she the reality was that she had kissed the girl, and then dove straight into her bed. She hoisted the covers over her head and layed there for quite sometime.... her mind screamed out that she had kissed a girl, and that was so bad. She had not even kissed a boy yet, but she had gotten a kiss from a girl... Yet, it did not seem bad at all... in fact, it was more than great.
She closed her eyes and hid there in the soft confines of her bed, her whole being was not wanting to think on this. It continued to, but until she somehow finally fell asleep, it had stayed right with her.