Story: The Baptism in the Blood (chapter 6)

Authors: bleeding.blade

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Chapter 6

Catch me as I fall

Say you're here and it's all over now

Speaking to the atmosphere

No one's here and I fall into myself

This truth drives me into madness

I know I can stop the pain

If I will it all away...

From the song Whisper (the Fallen album), by Evanescence

The next few days passed in a flurry of preparation. With Fumi-san's help, Solomon and I managed to arrange for all kinds of bladed weapons to be on hand throughout the Residence's premises. Solomon surveyed the school's grounds, taking note of areas in which he could secretly station his men. Our intent was to prevent as many Chiroptera as possible from actually entering the Residence. Solomon himself would be the only real defense if the Chiroptera managed to break through, but if any real emergency arose, at least Fumi-san's weapons would be at hand.

It was during a brief break from our furtive preparations that I went wandering about the school's halls. My memories of Natsuki in those corridors were faint, for the simple reason that she had avoided class so often in those days. There was only one room in that entire building that she had ever willingly frequented, and I found myself heading toward it instinctively.

And, as if the sheer power of my nostalgia had conjured her, there she was, sitting at my old desk with her chin propped on her hand and a faraway look in her eyes.

"Ara, the scene seems somehow incomplete without my laptop on the desk and Natsuki's dirty fingers all over it."

The lazy grin that suddenly curved on her lips caused a painful spasm in my chest. She had teased me back, and the banter between us had almost seemed like those we'd had in days long past. Until she brought up Solomon's name, and the way she had said it had seemed an accusation.

"I'm sorry, Shizuru." Again, a flash of contriteness, so unfamiliar on that lovely face.

I waved her apology away and made my way towards the window. "And how has my Natsuki been?"

Her voice was low when she replied. "I've been better."

I looked at her then and was startled to see the roiling intensity in her emerald eyes, among the emotions playing in them a silent plea to me for understanding. I couldn't stop myself from walking towards her, couldn't stop myself from drawing near, couldn't stop the hand that gently tipped her lovely face so that I could stare directly into her troubled gaze. "If there is anything at all in the world that Natsuki desires that I can give, I would give it to Natsuki."

I saw it then, or a glimmer of it, the love she felt for me. But it was oh so tentative, and so fraught with terror, that after a moment, I wasn't sure if wishful thinking had led me to imagine it. She remained silent, her eyes continuing their mute appeal. What it cost me then to not lower my lips onto hers...to drop the hand that was caressing her face.

"Take as much time as you need to think about it, Natsuki. When you come up with an answer, I'll be there to hear it...whatever your answers are and however they change."

And what it had cost me then to walk away, what it had cost me then to not look back, when all the while I felt her burning gaze. Take your time, Natsuki, but please, for my sake, don't take too much time.

~~~~~

When the night of the ball arrived, Solomon, Fumi-san and I had gone over the grounds one last time. We all felt the burden of the risk we had imposed on the guests who would be arriving that night, but we had little choice. Solomon had worked doubly hard the last several days to ensure that we put as many precautions as possible into place.  Fumi-san smiled at us tentatively.

"I truly truly hope all goes well tonight."

We nodded at her. We had done the best we could.

The ball started smoothly enough, but eventually the press of all the bodies prompted me to seek temporary respite in an abandoned balcony. I had been raised to preside over functions like these, but the long months I had spent in the monastery and away from society had lowered my endurance for it somewhat. It was on my way back to the main ballroom that I finally ran into her.

Dear God, I had never seen her in a gown before, and the vision she made standing there was enough to shred my recovered composure.

She looked absolutely stunning.

I couldn't help staring at her: at the dewy moistness of her lips, at the delicate curve of her collarbone, at the gentle flare of her hips. And what was even more shattering was the way she was devouring me with her eyes. She had never looked at me that way before...as if she wanted me. As if she desired me.

It was possible, just very nearly possible, that she wanted me too.

And just at the moment when I thought I would find out...Reito had stepped out from under the shadows and accosted us.

It had...annoyed me, to say the least. And I was almost never annoyed. The only thing that had consoled me was the look of disappointment on Natsuki's face at the interruption.

As soon as Reito had escorted us back to the ballroom, Solomon had stepped forward to take my arm, and we had smiled at each other reassuringly. So far, neither of us had glimpsed any signs of trouble.

But it was hard for me to stay alert. Hard to keep my eyes and my thoughts away from her, the blue and silver of her presence hovering at the edges of my sight and mind. My ice princess with the newly fiery eyes. And at that moment, I saw Reito lead her to the dance floor, and she was a marvel to behold, for all that Reito held her close, still she looked as if she danced alone. It was the way she had always been, aloof and apart. Perhaps it was wrong of me to want to change that about her; wrong to want to be the one to unlock the fire underneath all that ice.

And after the dance had ended, she had blushed so charmingly, and that was so like her too. I had followed her with my gaze, willing her to look my way, until finally she did, and again, the way she looked at me was like the balcony all over again.

Only this time, it was Solomon who interrupted, and I had to play my part in the charade we had engineered. As we danced, as he held me close, as he acted his part with consummate skill, I vaguely wondered what it was that Natsuki was thinking, wondered with eyes closed what it would be like if she held me the way Solomon was holding me, wondered if she would ever dip me low to the ground and bring her face close to mine...

Only the reverie ended with the crack of breaking glass, and Solomon brought me up sharply just in time for me to see Natsuki staring bewilderedly at her bleeding hand. 

I was standing before her before I even realized it, and holding out my hand. "Let me see that."

She held her hand to me mutely, green eyes glazed by some faraway pain. And after I had dismissed the guests and escorted her into a nearby room, she had sat down obediently while I bandaged her hand. And much as I tried to quell my rising hope, there was in me, the growing conviction that it was seeing me dance with Solomon that had caused her accident. 

"And how did Natsuki happen to break that glass?"

She had laughed hollowly before answering. "You know me. I tend to underestimate the fragility of things."

She was driving me mad, the way she always did, the way only she ever could, only this time it was worse. Because the green eyes that had always used to be so coolly platonic now suddenly burned with newly-awakened desire. And while I could have exploited that opening, the opportunity she presented, I held back.

Because I wanted her to be sure; needed her to be sure; and needed her to say it, because to leave room for uncertainty, where hope could grow would only lead me again to despair and madness. She needed to choose, not just for her sake or mine, but for the sake of a world I was capable of annihilating, Hime powers or no Hime powers.

It was written on her face, in the cuts on her palm: her jealousy, her possessiveness. But still she wouldn't say it, or couldn't say it. And it was almost too much for me to bear, so that despite all my restraint, I couldn't help but kiss her hand, couldn't suppress the anguished moan that escaped me. "Natsuki..."

And it was then, in the middle of my battle for self-control, that the Chiroptera had invaded.

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