Story: Wilted Hope (all chapters)

Authors: jupitersthunder

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Chapter 1

[Author's notes: Well this has abit of my own life in it. The pain is real. The people that always laugh just want to cry. The ones that smile just want to leave. Ummm who was it that sang something like that? Anyways I don't own that song so hope you enjoy this.]

"blah" talking
*blah* thoughts
~ scene changes
----- flash backs


*DAMN HER! Why does she do this to me? She knows what's shes doing does to me. She can cause so much pain by just her words... so why is she with HIM?* I sit here in my room where we shared so much of our young life here. So much laughter filled this room and secrets that never left here. I'm staring at a picture of all three of us together back when we just met him. He was so nice and kind. The pain in my heart is nothing compared to the pain in my soul. "You promised me we'd be together forever! YOU PROMISE ME FOREVER! You lying bitch! Damn you both!" I yelled once again into the darkness of my life. Tears come out of my tired eyes, tears I thought I no longer had the ablity for anymore. *I know what their doing right now. She told me so this morning. How can she be so cruel to me. We loved each other so much, we've been together for so long... *


-----


"I have something to say to you..." she said just before she blushes. We're in my room like always. I lean closer wondering if it's a secret she wants to tell me. She blushes even more the closer I get to her. "Jessy..."

"Yeah, Becky?"

"I love you" She whispers lightly as she stares into my eyes. I'm blushing I just know it. I can't move, am I even breathing? Oh she's looking sad and scared now and shes about to get up but I stop her with a hand on her arm. She stops and stares at me hopefully.

"I love you too..." I whispered out. She looks so happy now. I know what kind of love shes talking about. *But do I love you that way? I think I can love you* We're kissing now. When did we start this? Who started this kiss? I close my eyes and just let her kiss me. *Yes I think I can love you*


----


I threw the picture against a wall. The glass shatters and cuts me on the arm thats still out stretched but I don't feel it. I can't feel anything. *I stopped feeling anything since she lefted me. I'm nothing but an empty shell because of her.* I just sit there in the darkness of my hallow room. The echos of the crash still fills the air. I don't move, I just sit and stare into nothing. I don't even think I can breathe anymore. Oh wait theres one... theres another. *Why? What does HE have that I can't give you? I've given you myself, I've given you everything you ever asks for. I've given you my heart... MY EVERY SOUL!* Oh I'm crying again. I said I wouldn't cry over her anymore. I look over at the calender out of habit. It would have been our three year annerversory. next week. *I even got you that watch she always wanted as a gift for her.* I got up from the bed and walked over to my desk and picked up the same watch and just looked at it for awhile then I just threw it at the wall and watch it clacker to the floor broken. *Broken like my heart and soul.* "Damn you. I don't need you... I never needed you! I'll show you just how damn much I don't need you! I'll show everyone! " I yell as I start to plan for next week. *Wouldn't it be wonderfull as I show everyone on our annerversery?* I left the room to prepare.

[End notes: Well this is the end... this is the end... my only friend... this is the end... lmao. I just had to do that. anyways that's the first chapter of my first attempt of an original. What do you think? This will be a three or four chapter story. Please R&R.]

Chapter 2

Title: Chapter 2 Pain of love.

[Author's notes: This is done in Becky's pov. The things you do for love even if it pains the both of you.
Re edited.]

"Blah" talking
*Blah* thinking
--- flashback
~ scene change


We're in his room now. On his bed. I don't do anything, it just hurts to much to do anything. I had to do it. I just hope she can forgive me in time. I love her so much that I couldn't let her get anymore hurt if she's with me than if she's alone. He's taking off our clothes now. I feel nothing but distaste for the feel of his hands on my body. Only Jessy can touch my skin and heart. Oh how I wish I can just go to her.

"I want you to look at me throughout it all." He said as he took hold my head and turn me to look at him. I do as I'm told and I look but I say nothing. I feel nothing and I don't stop him. If I do stop him, he'll hit me again and ram it in hard and makes sure that it'll hurt for a long time. Just like last time I tried to stop him. I just stopped caring or feeling ever since I told her... ever since I saw that empty shell that she became with those words I said to her earlier...


-----


"It's over between us. I've found someone better than you." I said as I cling onto His arm and smile up at him. He just smiles smugly at her. That broken look in her eyes are all I can take to not just run to her and wrap her in my arms and tell her everything is all right. But I can't.

"B- but I love you..." she whispered. Tears coming out of her eyes. She sound so broken and lost. It just breaks my heart. With every broken word she said is like a nail through my heart.

"How can I love something like you when I have a man like Derreck." I driving the last nail into myself as I say those words. Me and Him are walking away now leaving you alone. I look back and nearly broke down with just that look in her eyes so I turned around and kept walking.

"But you promised..." she barely whispered out. But I heard her. I can feel my heart breaking then I just start to go numb. I hold onto his arm to stop us and I turn around. I'm about to doom my own soul.

"Do you want to know something? After we leave we are going to his place and into his bed." I laughed at her look on her face but all I wanted to do was cry. That look that shows that her heart just broke into a million pieces and all I wanted to do was pick up those pieces and hold on tightly and mend it back together with my love. I smile and turn around and walk away with him once again but this time I don't look back.


---


It's only been an hour since I saw her face but to me it felt like an eternity. All I want is to have her in my arms and tell her just how much I love her. Tell her that we can have forever together. Looks like He is done. *Fanilly. Now I can leave... but I can never leave I'm trapped with him.* Never have I ever been filled with so much hate for one person. How much I despise him. I just get up and dressed. I want to leave as his room. I can't even look at him anymore. I know he's just smiling smuggly as always after what he does to me. Like as if he won something and is proving that to all the world. I'm up now and heading to the door.

"I'll call you later sweety." He said. I hate it when he calls me that. I just want to glare at him, but I just keep walking. He knows that I heard him. He knows what I think of him but still he does whatever he wants to me cause he knows that I can't do anything. He knows my weaknesses and he uses those against me. Like Jessy is my biggest weakness but this was the only way to protect her. I just want to be with her. I want her in my arms again. But I doomed my heart and soul for her. I know that I will go to hell but I don't want her there with me. If I have to suffer forever then so be it, just as long as she can be in peace. Maybe we'll be together in the next life. I can only hope.

Next week is our three year anniversery. I got her that ring that she was hinting at. She thought that I didn't have a clue about anything or that I forgot. How can I ever forget that day three years ago? We were to go to our secret place at the cliffs to give each other our gifts. The cliffs was were we first made love. There under the stars with the waves crashing against the rocks below we showed our love for one another. It was beautiful and it was heaven. Maybe I can still go and give her the ring. We promised that no matter what that we'll go there. I just hope that she'll be there.

[End notes: The wheel of fate is always turning and will always go back to the start. Love can be the most strangest thing that we humans can purpese. It can take us above the clouds and into heaven. Take us over mountains and across the greatest seas. But it can also kill our very souls and leave nothing but a shell. A shadow of our former selves.

Don't you just love that one moment of insanity that brings you perfect clarity? A clarity that just won't leave you till you pore everything you have, your very soul into every word no matter how small. But you just have to show the world your light or your wounds. Wheither its a wound of the heart or the soul. Either way you just have to show the world. Well please review!]

Chapter 3

Title: Chapter 3 And it begins.

[Author's notes: Day by day paseses as the two broken souls draw nearer to each other. Each with a plan for the other. What are those plans? Even I don't know. Will enjoy.]

The Paint it black song plays in the background of Jessy's room as she still works on her revenge for Becky. It's dark in the room which it has been for the past week since that day. No matter what Jessy did to try and forget about those words, she can never forget that look in Becky's eyes as she laughs as her heart broke. A laugh that use to bring so much joy to Jessy whenever she hears it. But it just brought more pain for her. Jessy hasn't had much sleep since. Nightmares just fills her mind of images of Becky and Derreck in His bed. HIS hands on her Becky! That damn smirk on his face as he pleasures her. Shaking her head to disspell such things out of her head and she continues to work. 'No mercy! They will all pay for the pain that I can only feel these days since then. Everyday that I see her in my mind. I see her with HIM together... I just stopped feeling I grew numb. But soon they will be sorry...' Jessy starts to get ready to head for the cliffs at the secret place for the final stage in her plans knowing for sure it will work.

"You'll all be sorry after this. Everyone will know about the pain that I feel. No one will ever forget this day!" Jessy says as she leaves her empty dark room for what might be her last time. Echos of laughter fill the air and childdess fun long lost through time. "Yes. They will remember this day for a long time after this..." The door closes after she says those words. The room is filled with darkness. The Paint it Black song still playing in the background as it slowly fades near the end.


~~~~~


The song Stupid girl plays in the background of Becky's room as the goes through her closet for some clothes. Trying to choose the best one to wear today. 'Soon I can see Jessy again. Oh I hope she'll accept my gift. I've missed her so much. It's been a week since I've seen her. She never left her room... I hope she's okay.' Becky is getting ready to go to the cliffs, wanting to look her best for her Jessy.

"I hope that she'll be there. Then I can tell her the truth as to why I did what I had to do. Jessy please be there." Becky whispers in the qiuet room as she gets dress into a dress that Jessy got her for her birthday last month. Becky had been so surprise and happy all at once when she saw the dress. It was the most beautiful thing that Jessy had gotten her. It was a rich earthy color to match her hair and eyes well. Fill in her curve that Jessy loves so much. A small blush covers Becky's cheek as she remembered that night as she gave Jessy a proper thanks for her gift. Shaking her head to rid of the pleasant thought, she still needed to get ready no time to fantasize. Becky leaves her room now ready to go to the cilffs. Closing the door behind her the last lines of Stupid Girl can be heard.


~~~~


Walking down the trails of a long forgotten path Jessy walks on to set up to her revenge. Listening to her headphones as she walks to twisting path up the cliffs the You give love a bad name song can be heard through her head phones as she continues to walk. Slipping on a lose rock she curses silently but keeps walking. She was getting closer to the cilffs. Memories of past times here with Becky only made the pain more worse but she pushes it down and keeps walking.


~~~~


Becky looks around to make sure that she was on the right trail as she makes her way to the cliffs. She thought that she heard something move up ahead. Thinking that it was just some wild animal, she walks on. 'Jessy... please be there.' Becky wishes with all her might that she can see her love once more. Holding onto the small box that hold the ring that she got for Jessy, Becky smiles softly and looks around remembering the best times of her life that she had when she came here with Jessy...


~~~~~


Jessy reached the cliffs and was now looking down at the crushing waves crash against the sharp rocks below she just stands there for a moment, a soft breeze blows past Jessy, ruffling her hair. No matter how hard she tried to forget the memories just start to pour out into the front of her mind and she relived the first time that she and Becky found this spot so long ago.


---------


"Jessy it's so beautiful here! Just look at the beauty all around!" Becky giggled as she twirls around.

"I only see one beauty here." Jessy says as she looks upon Becky as she dances around the field filled with flowers. Becky just blushes and walks over to Jessy and gives her a gentle kiss on the lips and turns and runs as Jessy tries to get more kisses.

"You have to catch me first!" giggles Becky as she runs around the field. Jessy not far behind. After running around they settled down to watch the sunset over the water. Both wrapped around each other to keep warm.

"I love you Jessy." Becky whispers

"I love you too Becky." Jessy whispers back.

Looking into each others eyes they start to kiss. The kiss started out innocent but then it was filled with passion. As things got more heated they layed there on the grass, they made love for the first time. It was sweet, it was clumsy but it was beautiful. Touching each they learn a whole new side of each other. Kissing every inch of skin they can find. Touching every curve. The cries of love and passion fills the night air. As they lay there holding on to each other watching the stars shine high above them, they couldn't be happier.


-------


Coming out of her daydreams Jessy turn around after hearing a gasp. There stood Becky wearing the dress that she got for her last month. She still looks as beautifull as ever.

"Jessy..." she whisper. Happiness covers her tone.

"Becky" She hisses. This startles Becky as she has never heard such hatred in her loves vioce.

[End notes: No matter how many times you say that you'll never go back. You still hope that what you lost is still where you lost it. You may say that your over it, but are you saying that for others or for you? Can you really get over such pain and just go on with life? Can you live with yourself not knowing if you can ever get it back? Is there really a happily ever after?

Please review! Night-night.]

Chapter 4

Title: Chapter 4 And so it ends. pt1

[Author's notes: Ummmm..... wow it's been awhile since I've updated hasn't it? hehe. Would you belive that my cat ate my work? Never give your cat any nip then not hide your work where they can get it... Ummm hope ya enjoy!


Can love ever be found again? Can it fix what was done to a broken heart? Can you fix that broken heart?

Picking up the pieces.Songs not mine]

"blah"- talking
'blah'- thinking
~~~~- scene change
*blah* song lyrics


"Jessy..." Becky sighs out with a happiness and hope in her vioce. At just the sight of her one true love standing there near the cliffs, made her heart skip a beat.

"Becky." Jessy's harsh word cut through Becky's heart. Becky stops, not at the harch word but at the eyes. The eyes that were once full of light and loce were now cold, empty and cruel. What stood there near the cliffs was not the Jessy that Becky once knew and loved. Nor held onto at night, tight in her arms. No what stood there was a creature of darkness and hate wearing Jessy's face. The face twisted into evil. What was always a smile on Jessy's face was nothing but a dark snear twisting her once pretty face. The vioce that she so loved to hear was now hard and closedoff from her. She did not know who it was that stood there, and Becky didn't like it. She wanted her Jessy back, she didn't feel safe near this thing, not like when she was with her Jessy.

"Jessy... I'm so glad your here..." Becky said as she tries to steel herself to take a step foreward. Jessy just snarled at her. Shocked Becky didn't dare move a muscle.

"What are you doing here?" Jessy asks in her most coldest vioce. Becky flinches from Jessy's words, Jessy just smirches at Becky's discomfort.

"I... I just wanted to see you again..." Stuttered Becky as she shifted from foot to foot as Jessy slowly walks toward her.

"Oh? Now that you have, what do you think about the new me?" Jessy mockinly asks. "Do you like the pain that YOU put me through?!" With each word getting louder Jessy took another step foreward.

Becky didn't dare move back as Jessy came foreward no matter how much her instincts tell her to run. She just stood her ground and stared right into Jessy's hatred and pain filled eyes without flinching.

With every step Jessy took no matter how hard she tried to suppress her emotions, they still bame boiling to the surface, hate, joy, hurt, comfort,... Love. Memories she tries to erase come flooding her minds eyes, happy times, sad times, times only filled with her and Becky.



~~~~



*Do you still remember, how we used to be
Feelings together, believe in whatever*



~~~~~



A scene of them meeting for hte first time.

Both their parents brought them to the park one beautiful summer day. They ran into each other on the jungle gym. A spark came between them. They became the best of friends that day.



~~~~



*My love has said to me
Both of us were dreamers.*



~~~~



Grade school was always filled with laughter and friends. Not to mention a bright hopeful future.

Jessy was running across the playground laughing with a wet Becky running after her with a water balloon in hand with promises that she will be repaid in full. And she did later that day when Becky finally caught up to her.



~~~~



*Young love in the sun
Felt like my Saviour, my spirit I gave you.
We'd only just begun.*



~~~~



Jessy layed sprawled in the dirt, tears trailing her cheeks as the three boys that pushed her laughted and taunted her. Jest when one of the boys was about to kick her onces again, Becky came in and saved Jessy more pain. The boys took off never to tease her again. Jessy looked up at Becky as she bent down to help her up. Jessy's heart skipped a beat when she saw that radient smile came apon Becky's face as she took her offered hand. They walked off together hand in hand.



~~~~



*Hasta Manana, Always be mine.*



~~~~



It was Becky's 14 birthday and Jessy was allowed to sleep over that night. Jessy had a surprise ready for Becky, she wouldn't know what her her. Jessy saved up her allowence for months to get these matching friendship rings. On the inside their inesals were there with their phrase (Forever, I promise)



~~~~



*Viva forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting, like the sun.*



~~~~



It was summer time and a 15 year old Jessy and Becky were running down the beach, blue ocean waves crashing against white sands hands interlocked with each others. Laughter was heard whenever the cold waves crashes onto their feet. It's just they two of them for an entire week at Jessy's parents beach cabin and it was the best time of their lives. Freedom was theirs. Staying up as late as they like and sleeping in till noon. Live was perfect... At least that's what Jessy keeps thinking. It just feels like there was something missing here but Jessy just couldn't figure out what that was.

[End notes: Thats as far as I could get before I lost my muse. And I broke my pencil. So what do ya think I'll write faster with more reviews! and more green tea sodas.]

Chapter 5

Title: Chapter 5 Darkness against the Light.

[Author's notes: Waoh sorry it's been so long! But here it is. I rewrote this chapter. It's different. More different than I wanted it to be.
Chapter redone.]

()- flashback
~~- scene changes
" "- talking
' '- thinking
**- songs


'Where the bloody hell is that bitch?!' Derreck yelled in his mind as he drove in his car looking for Becky almost all day now. It's late in the afternoon and the more time pasts the worst his temper got. 'When I find that bitch I'll fuck her up so bad that she'll beg me on her knees to stop.'

On the radio the song No Heaven from DJ Champion was playing. Derreck just ignores it as he continues to look for his 'girlfriend'.


~~~~



("Now you know what you have to do. Don't you, Becky?" Derreck asks as his hand gripping Becky's arm like an iron fist.

"Yes..." Becky whimpers out with tears in her eyes. But she won't cry. No crying would be bad. He will just hurt her more if she did.

"Good." Derreck said changing his tone to a more loving tone. His face changes from the hard look to a more loving and longing gaze. But the eyes don't change. The eyes can never lie. They are still hard and dangerous look in them.)



~~~~



("Hey Becky! Wait up!" Derreck said as he rushes up to Becky who was down the street. "I got two awesome tickets! You wanna come with?" The cheerful face of her best guy friend was too hard to say no to.

"Sure when is it?" Becky asks.

Derreck just smiles and hand her the tickets to look at.)



~~~~



("Please stop...." Becky slurs out.

"Just shut up and enjoy it." Derreck said getting more irratated the more Becky talks. Derreck nods to the other to continue.

CRACK!!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Becky screams her throat raw.

"Now will you do as I say?" Derreck asked sweetly.

"...yes..." Becky agrees just so they would stop hurting her.

"And you won't say a thing to Jessy?" Derreck asked more forcefully.

"..."

CRACK!!

"NOOOO!" Becky sobs out.

"Good." Derreck said as he starts to help Becky up. "I love you. I know you love me too. All that's in our way is Jessy. You know what you must do don't you?"

Becky just nods her head. Not daring to look up at Derreck.)



~~~~



Derreck continues to drive. The radio still on now playing Bang Bang from Kill Bill. 'Theres only one more place that I haven't looked. The cliff....' Derreck now started to drive to the cliff.



~~~~


:The Cliff:

*The rain falls on my windows
And a coldness runs through my soul*

Heavy rain falls onto the two figures standing close to the edge of the cliffs. One stares into the others broken eyes. No light, no love. Now in tears Becky falls to her knees as the floodgates release all her pain and heartache. Jessie just stands there without emotion without remorse. Just standing there in silence and watches.

*And the rain falls, oh the rain falls
I don't want to be alone*

'Yes. Feel my pain! Know my pain that you caused me!' Jessie thinks as she continues to watch as Becky cries into the heavens. Unknown to Jessie, she was also crying. Silent tears falls down her cheeks as her body almost moved forward without her knowledge. As the memories came back one by one in no order the more the tears fell down both their cheeks as they slowly came together. Within no time they were both in each others arms holding on tightly.

*I wish I could Photoshop all our bad memories
'Cause the flashbacks
Oh the flashbacks won't leave me alone.*

Memories kept flooding back of the pain, of the love, of the good time and the bad times. With all the times together and the lonely times apart. One memory sticks to their minds out of all of the others.



~~~~



(The both of them lying on a bed holding each other while they slowly fall asleep

"I love you. I'll always love you." Becky softly told Jessie as they both fell asleep. Safe in each others embrace.)



~~~~



*If you come back to me I'll be all that you need
Baby come back to me
Let me make up for what happened in the past.*

"PLEASE!!! Come back to me! I love you! I need you!" Becky tearfully told a still crying Jessie in her arms.

"NOOOO!!!" Both Becky and Jessie jerked apart to see an angry Derreck standing at the edge of the forest near the cliffs. "YOU BELONG TO ME!!"

[End notes: I think I over did it with Derreck.... And this is all that I can write with Derreck in it. So sorry it's so short. I am working on the next one... I swear! Please review!]

Chapter 6

Title: Chapter 6 The once Good Boy

[Author's notes: *hides behind the army of kitty minions* Very very sorry!!!! Life got in my way of finishing this story! Then writers block hit me. Well here is the next chapter. In this chapter it will be in Derreck's pov.]

('Why can't she see what is going on?' Derreck sits in a corner of a local hang out with his two friends. Watching as one girl is comfortably in the arms of another girl, but the other girl is checking out another girl across the room. Other girl across the room winks at said girl. 'WHY WON'T SHE SEE WHAT'S GOING ON?!?!' 'I have to help my friend but how? I care for both of them. I can't just tell her, I have to think of a way to make her see'

"Hey, do you guys want anything to drink?" Jessy asked still looking at other girl. Derreck just shakes his head no, still watching her and Becky on the couch.

"Oh! can you get me a soda?" Becky asked looking up at Jessy. Jessy smiles down at Becky and nods. Getting up Jessy heads for the counter. Other girl also heads for the counter. Derreck watches the whole encounter from his seat. They start to flirt with each other. The other girl gives Jessy a slip of paper and walks away. Jessy puts said paper into her pocket and heads back to their area with two sodas in hand.

"Hey listen guys I gotta go so I'll see two later?" Derreck says as he gets up and collects his coat. The two girls just nods their heads at Derreck as he heads out.

"Okay Derreck see you later." Becky calls out to him.)



~~~~



(Becky came to me crying her eyes out. Looks like they once again had a fight. But I know what's really going on now. Jessy is out with that girl again. But Becky still doesn't know about that. Not yet anyways. I still don't know what to do for them but each time Jessy does this to Becky my heart hurts more and more for her. I'll do anything for her just to take away the pain. This cheating has been going on for months now. I have to do something soon. But what?)



~~~~



(I found out where they go now. They have been going to the next town over, they always meet in the same store and talk for awhile before going their own ways again. But this time Jessy and the other girl are sitting closer and looking at some on their table. It's hard to see what they are looking at though. I have to find out. For Becky.)



~~~~



(Becky's birthday is soon. But does Jessy even care? All she's doing is making Becky worry. I already got her tickets to her favorite band, I hope she likes it. But what if she wants backstage passes? Oh what was I thinking getting her lousy floor tickets! But I already spent my money on these seats. I have to think of something else. Something more)



~~~~



(Does Jessy even know what she has with Becky? Does she know how lucky she is? I would give anything to have that with someone. )



~~~~



(I sold one of the three tickets to Becky's favorite band and the two of us are going. I know Jessy is in the next town with the other girl. I have to find a way for Becky to find out about that but I don't want her to know that I knew. Each time she is with the other girl, the angrier I get. But I also love Becky more and more I would do anything for her just to make her smile at me and only me.)

[End notes: After a very very long time and some endless nights up this came to me late in the night. This story is going to a different direction than when I first thought this story up. Please R&R]

Chapter 7

Title: Chapter 7 Who can turn me around?

[Author's notes: Once more another endless night without sleep and just when sleep found me this came to mind.]

"blah"- talking
'blah'- thinking
~~~~- scene change
*blah* song lyrics



*When the world is darker than I can understand.*



~~~~



The sun is starting to set over the water. The sweet sounds of the waves crashing against the rocks below is ignored by the two broken souls. Broken by each other but shattered by another. Still they stand and stare at each other hoping the other would break the silence but wishing the silence stays.



~~~~



*When nothing turns out the way I planned.*



~~~~



Jessy's POV
We're sitting in our favorite spot just enjoying the evening... well they are. I'm really nervous inside, I'm meeting someone soon. A friend of mine told me about her, that she does great work. I really hope she shows up soon. Derreck is telling us something but I don't hear anything because the girl showed up and I can't stop smiling I'm so excited. She's an artist with ink, from what I'm told. I've been thinking about this for awhile now. But I didn't tell the others yet.



~~~~



I've been meeting with her for awhile now. Talking about what I want for the tattoo, what colors I like and all that. Today she's showing me pictures of her works and they are amazing! I can't wait to show everyone! So worth it driving every week to meet her in her home town. She takes out her drawings of what I might want. Boy would Becky be in for a surprise!



~~~~



*When the sky turns grey and there's no end in sight.*



~~~~



The date is set for the inking and then I can show Becky. I miss her so much right now. I feel so bad about lying to her about where I'm going. But I'll make it up to her when it's all done.



~~~~



*When I can't sleep through the lonely night.*



~~~~



I didn't go to the appointment. Becky just broke up with me.... why?



~~~~



*When my insides are wracked with anxiety.*



~~~~



I went to talk to the girl and she agreed to change the drawing for me. It hurts but not as much as my heart is hurting right now. But I can go through with this.



~~~~



*You have the touch that will quiet me.*



~~~~



I know that she wants to come closer, I do too but I can't let that happen. So I snarl at her and watch as she flinch away. I smirk for good measure even though I want nothing more then say I'm sorry for making her uncomfortable. But I can't have that. I can't have her.



~~~~



*When I need inspiration, when I need advice.*



~~~~



When the girl asked me why I didn't show up and why I want to change it I told her what happened. I didn't change the drawing too much. Even though I wanted to but she talked me out of it. It's just a small difference.



~~~~



*I turn to you. Like a flower leaning toward the sun.*

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