"Your Highness, Miss Samus, welcome back. How was your shopping trip?" Gaebora greeted them in a cheerful tone. "Shall I have someone see to you're bags?"
"Err... no... I can carry them myself," Zelda said awkwardly, confused by his chipper attitude. She had completely expected him to be furious with her.
It was obvious to Samus though that he was playing some new angle.
"What shall I have prepared for lunch, princess?"
"We... we already ate, thank you." Zelda spoke cautiously; she too suspected not all was genuine with him.
"Very well, then. Is there anything else I can assist you with this afternoon?"
"Nothing, thank you," She gave him a nod and proceeded past him, up the stairs from the main hall. "Come on Samus, let's go."
After managing to get away from Gaebora, they returned to Zelda's room. Zelda put away the things she had bought into her closet, and took Samus' dress out of its plain brown paper wrapper and hung it up on a hanger. Samus sat on the bed watching her curiously the entire time. When Zelda turned to face her, she noticed Samus staring and she smiled.
Samus leaned back on the bed with her hands behind her for support and smirked oddly at Zelda. "So... I have the rest of the afternoon free..." she said stating the obvious, "...and if you're not doing anything..."
"I do have something important to do."
"Oh?" Samus said, wondering if Zelda had actually caught her meaning or not.
"Yes. I really must get started writing a speech for Link's memorial."
"Oh." She said sounding disappointed this time.
"Um... don't take this the wrong way but... I like to write in private; it makes it easier to focus. So... could--"
"Yeah, no problem. I completely get that."
"Why don't you explore the castle some? It has some very interesting sights to see... well I guess I can come and give you a proper tour a little later."
Samus stood from the bed. "Sure... I'll stay out of you're hair for a while." She said and slowly started for the door.
"Alright, thanks," Zelda crossed the room and sat at her desk.
"Uh, Samus," Zelda called to her before she got all the way out the door. "We can, um... do that... maybe later tonight... ok?"
Samus smiled and nodded as she left. She had gotten it after all.
--x--
As Samus roamed the halls of the castle, she mapped out the layout in her head, taking note of where the best places were to mount a defense in case the castle came under assault; it's not that she expected one; it was just the way her mind worked.
The construction of the building was mostly carved stone. Although it was a rarity in her world, it was familiar to her as the Chozo encampment on Zebes was built in a similar fashion. But she was sure it was just simple inert stone, without embedded holographic computer displays that were common in Chozo architecture.
She now stood in a hallway, half of which was exposed to the outside, overlooking a courtyard and garden within the castle walls. She simply stood there taking in the scenery when she heard him approach from behind. He thought he was being silent and stealthy but his presence was obvious to her.
"Come to my office." Gaebora blurted out quite loudly, an obvious attempt to unnerve her. He was visibly vexed when she didn't so much as flinch.
"I said--"
"I heard you the first time. I was just ignoring you."
To her surprise he didn't become even more obnoxious, he simply said, "Would you please come to my office. I wish to speak with you reasonably."
"Reasonably?" She spun around. "You can't be serious," She sighed and shrugged. "Why can't you say it here?"
"It's of a sensitive nature, and I don't want a servant or guardsman to pass by and overhear."
"Fine, whatever." She shrugged again. "This should be interesting." She muttered the last part to herself.
She followed him to his office, and he closed the door behind them.
"Alight!" She said, demanding to know what this was about.
"I want to reason with you; you at least seem intelligent enough. Since it seems the princess is being unreasonable, and you appear to have some sway over her, I thought I would speak with you."
"Why should I listen to anything you have to say?"
"Now, now, let's not be disagreeable." He waved his hands in from of him. "I realize you and I got off on the wrong foot, and for that I apologize."
"Whatever." She rolled her eyes. "Now what do you want?"
"Well, let me first start by asking what is the nature of your relationship with the princess?"
Oh great, the same question she couldn't answer earlier. At least she didn't have to answer to him.
He continued, "You are..." he paused letting the word linger as if trying to elicit an answer from her, "...good friends. Correct?"
"If that's what you call it, then sure."
"I don't like cryptic responses," he said in a flat tone with narrowing eyes.
"I don't like this pretense bullshit. Just say what you really want to"
"Now listen here..." he started off angrily but caught himself, determined to follow through with his attempt at being amicable.
"Listen..." he said more calmly, "...perhaps you don't realize the precariousness of the situation."
"I guess I don't."
"I need to ask you to simply put some distance between yourself and the princess... For the good of all Hyrule."
She only raised an eyebrow at him.
"Perhaps you met the princess somewhere and thought that if you were friendly towards her she could take you up in the world, or maybe you genuinely are friends. Whichever the case, I'm not judging you. However, her Highness will have undoubtedly misinterpreted your intentions."
"Misinterpreted... The hell do you mean?"
"Well, you see, the princess is... susceptible... to certain… perverse ways of thinking."
"Perverse?" she interrupted.
"Yes. And I believe you're staying here entices her to entertain such thoughts, and that would be very counterproductive. I've gone through far too great a length to keep her pure only to have it all come toppling down now. You understand of course."
She understood perfectly; her suspicions were correct: he was exactly the bigot she thought him to be. However, she decided it would be best to appear sympathetic to play him for information. "Oh," she said in mock surprise. "Of course, I didn't realize... I guess I should keep my distance; wouldn't want her to try and jump me or something."
"You will? That's excellent. I knew you could be reasoned with."
"What great lengths did you mean earlier?"
"Well!" He spoke almost eagerly. "Ever since I caught her with that servant girl... well let me tell you... It wasn't easy coming up with an excuse to fire every single young female on the castle staff while still keeping his daughter's shameful intercession a secret from the king." It was amazing how fast he opened up once he thought she was on his side.
Samus nodded in mock understanding as he continued. 'Servant girl?' She seemed to recall Zelda mentioning something like that to her; that when she was much younger someone caught her kissing another girl and was quite upset with her. That must have been Gaebora.
"I continue to try to introduce the princess to fine young noblemen from across the land, but they all fail to meet the princess's high standards."
'Of course you moron, they're all guys,' Samus thought.
"I had such great hopes for that boy though; she took a real liking to him; wonderful potential there. But the rube chose some pathetic peasant girl over the princess! Imagine that."
She heard enough, enough to piss her off, and decided to leave before she did anything violent.
"Uh... so we have an understanding?" he said confused by her sudden departure.
She just flipped him off as she left. Apparently, he didn't know what the gesture meant.
--x--
Samus returned to Zelda's room eagerly anticipating telling her what Gaebora had said.
"Zelda, hey. It looks like I was right about Gaebora. He's... Zelda?" She paused seeing Zelda sitting at her desk, head hung. There were crumpled up prices of parchment littering her desk. Samus could see her shoulders heaving.
"Zelda?" She said more firmly.
A bit startled, Zelda turned to face her; she was definitely crying. She wiped her face on her sleeves, took a deep breath, and tried but failed at smiling.
Samus rushed over to her, kneeling beside her chair.
"Are you alright?"
"I suppose this was more difficult than I thought it would be..." She then distracted herself by aimlessly organizing her papers into a neat stack.
Samus put a hand on her shoulder and another on Zelda's wrist to stop her fidgeting.
Zelda shrugged and shook her head. "I'm ok, really."
"You're not. Now take a break from this."
Zelda sighed and nodded. "Yes..." She slowly put her arms around Samus, hugging her tightly and resting her head on her shoulder. "Thank you," she whispered. Hugging her as well, Samus patted her back and slowly rocked her back and forth.
"You have a chess set?" Samus said. Peering over Zelda's shoulder, she could see a chessboard and some pieces scattered amongst papers and writing utensils in the desk's drawer.
"Oh, yes. I've had that since I was a child."
"You want to play? You said you were pretty good."
"There are several pieces missing."
"That's alright. I have one," Samus said releasing her hold on Zelda.
"You do?" Zelda asked as Samus went to the closet and dug through her bag.
"Yeah... sort of," she said, returning with a black, flat, rectangular object that measured only about a couple inches across.
She set the small object on the desk and ran her finger swiftly across the glossy surface. Light sprung forth from the device and formed shapes and lines of text in the air. Samus plucked at the holograms with her fingers causing them to change, to disappear, and new ones to appear, until finally a chess board appeared, though it was unlike any Zelda had ever seen. The pieces and board were made of translucent glowing light and hovered a few inches above the table, but it was a chessboard nonetheless.
She smiled, "That's incredible." She grabbed at the one of the pieces, only to have her hand pass through it. "It's made of light?"
"That's right."
"How do you move the pieces then?"
"Just touch the square it's on, then touch the square you want to move to," Samus said and demonstrated by moving her pawn forward two squares. "The computer does the rest."
"I see. Well, I'd love to play." She smiled at Samus.
They moved to the bed placing the chessboard between them. Samus sat with her legs folded in front of her and Zelda lay on her stomach resting on her elbows.
'Alright Ms. Triforce of Wisdom, lets see what you got.' Samus smirked; Zelda had no idea what she was getting into.
"What?" Zelda said, noticing Samus' cocky smile.
"Oh... I know you have that Triforce thing, but don't think for a second you have the advantage here."
"No?"
"I'll have you know I learned to play from the most advanced species in the Galaxy. And on all those long boring trips through deep space... well there wasn't much to do besides playing against advanced AI chess programs."
"I've never lost..." Zelda said shyly.
"Uh- well... you've never played me. Just you watch."
She would end this quickly, attack full force, hold nothing back, penetrate her defenses and go for the king... 'Yeah. It'll be over before she knows it.'
Though it was over quicker than Samus had ever seen a game of chess played, the outcome wasn't what she expected. Zelda had completely out done her by attacking even harder.
"Is that what I was supposed to watch for?" Zelda teased slightly.
"Well... I just misjudged your style. I wouldn't have expected you to play such an aggressive game."
"Oh, I didn't know I had a style... I just do whichever move I think is best."
"Fine whatever, let's go again. I'll be ready for you this time." Samus hit a holographic icon off to the side of the chessboard, and the pieces were reset.
She'd take a defensive posture this time. Zelda was way too aggressive. Samus would let her expend her forces against a well-mounted defense, then once they were spent she could go and wipe out what was left.
Things didn't go as planned once again. Though she lasted longer, Zelda's strong offence eventually overwhelmed her defenses, and she was left vulnerable.
Samus grunted in frustration.
"I'm sorry... I'm just good at this. Do you want to stop?" Zelda said giggling.
"Hell no... We play again." Again Samus reset the board.
A more balanced approach would be need here. Draw the game out and wait for her to tire. Don't play to win, go for a stalemate, and hope she makes a mistake. Instead of trying to defeat Zelda she would merely try to counter her style of play and try to trip her up.
'She may be smarter than me, but I know I'm more focused and can hold my concentration longer.'
This time by deliberately going for a stand off and ignoring obvious avenues of advance, she managed to last indefinitely against the superior player.
"You're not trying to win?" Zelda quickly picked up on Samus' change of strategy.
"I am. I just... haven't figured out how yet."
"Ok..." said Zelda.
They played a while longer, and the advantage wavered slightly between the two of them with no one taking an obvious lead. But by Samus' reckoning, she was behind more than she was ahead, and she was slowly slipping.
'Maybe if I get her talking it'll distract her.' Samus thought. "So... this festival, what do they have there? You mentioned a little about it earlier, but I want to know more."
"Oh, it's a magnificent event. I know you'll just love it."
"Yeah, but what's it like."
"Well it's all set up in the field just outside the castle. Like the market, there are rows and rows of booths and stands; at some you can find food that can't be found most other places. A lot of them host games of skill, and you can win all different kinds of cute little prizes."
"I see; what else?"
"Last year there was this tent where they put on display of rare wonders from all over Hyrule; rare creatures and works of art from distant lands. There was also an outdoor stage where they put on a short play and then later had a band play music all into the night."
Samus nodded while taking the time to focus her attention on the chessboard.
"And at the end of the evening ..."
"Your Highness, I've brought dinner." A woman's voice from the hall had interrupted Zelda.
Mireille, head of the housekeeping staff and personal attendant to Zelda, came in with a cart and rolled it up to the bed. She was in her sixties and had been working at the castle longer than anyone, having come on when she was just twelve, during the reign of Zelda's grandfather.
Zelda looked to Samus and rolled her eyes as the servant set up a small folding table.
"Thank you, Mireille," Zelda said with a sigh.
Samus smirked at Zelda, finding it amusing how she kept her irritation at being waited on in check. Zelda picked at her food once the woman left.
"Would you like some, Samus?" Zelda offered Samus some.
"I'm not hungry... But, uh, thank you anyway," Samus added, quickly remembering Zelda had a thing about manners. "So, the festival... you were saying at the end..."
"Right, at the end off the evening they have a spectacular fire works display. They shoot them off from right here at the castle. So when they explode you can see the castle from the fair grounds glow all different colors."
"Sounds interesting."
"It's more than just interesting. You'll see."
"And you're sure I have to wear a dress?" The prospect still didn't sit well with Samus.
"Yes... Check."
"Damn it." Samus was distracting herself more than Zelda. She blocked the move and hurriedly threatened the offending piece.
"Oh, nice save."
"Thanks... You know, I've been thinking lately, I haven't gone training in a while. Is there some place I can use around here?"
"The courtyard is pretty open, you could use that. Try not to break the statues though."
"Sure. And what about you, Zelda."
"Me?"
"Yeah, would you like to train too... you know, with me?"
"Yes, of course, I'd love to."
"Ok, because before, that was... fun, just the two of us... and I thought I could teach you some more advanced stuff."
"That sounds great. We can do that tomorrow all day if you like. I'd really enjoy to--"
"Your Highness, how is everything?" said Gaebora as he entered the room, interrupting Zelda again.
"Ugh... everything is fine, Gaebora."
"Sorry to disturb you Princess, but I need your signature on these documents," he said handing over several papers.
"What's this...?" Zelda glanced over the documents, "Appropriation of funds...? This is for the memorial service? Very well." She took the quill Gaebora handed her and proceeded to sign each paper.
Gaebora smiled at Samus, gave a nod, "Ah, chess, a nice, wholesome activity."
'Fuck off!' Samus had to grit her teeth to keep from saying it out loud.
"And a magical chess board no less. You know, her Highness is quite the chess master."
'Oh wait! I have to tell Zelda about what he said before... hehe, that'll totally distract her for sure!' Samus mused. 'Though... maybe that's not such a good idea... No, I can't tell her like that, I'll wait till we're finished.'
"Here!" Zelda exclaimed. Having finished signing all the papers, she practically stuffed them back into his hand. "Bye, Gaebora," she said obviously hinting that he should leave.
He bowed and took his leave, disturbingly giving Samus a nod and a wink as he back out the door.
"Back to what we were doing," Zelda grumbled.
Outside the sun had set, and the light was fading. The glow of the holographic chessboard now illuminated their faces.
"Samus, do you think after the festival is done you could take me back to the arena?"
"Well, yeah, if you want."
"I really would like a chance to test all you taught me against the competition. I never got the opportunity before..."
"You sure? Wouldn't it be hard... Going there, wouldn't that remind you of Link?"
Zelda smiled and shook her head, "I can't let that rule me... and, I'd really like to see Fox again. He helped us, and I never thanked him... He was good friends with Link, too, so..."
"So...?"
"Hmm... Checkmate." Zelda said calmly upon moving her piece. An elaborate chime accompanied this from the holo-computer indicating the same thing.
"Agh...Damn it!" How was Zelda so good at distracting her? She should be sharper than this, more focused.
"Hey, it's alright, don't take it so seriously." Zelda said placing a hand on Samus' forearm.
"I am good at this."
"I know you are..." Zelda said, trying to be sympathetic.
"Again! We play again! And I will beat you this time, " Samus said.
'Hey take it easy, it's just a game,' Samus was being overly competitive, Zelda thought. It didn't surprise her though; she should expect that from Samus. She had a need to be the best in everything she does.
'Should I let her win? No, I wouldn't appreciate it at all if... or when people do things like that for me. And if she found out... she'd be upset.'
Samus reset the board and made her first move.
"Stupid Triforce of Wisdom thing," she grumbled under her breath. "You're going down this time."
"Samus, I don't think I've had a challenger this strong in a long while," Zelda said trying to boost Samus' ego while remaining truthful.
"Humph," Samus replied.
They continued playing late into the night. The sun had set, and neither of them bothered to go and light the any of the torches or candles, so the glowing holographic chessboard was the only thing illuminating the room.
Mireille came back along with two other servant women. Zelda tried to ignore them as she studied the board although her displeasure was obvious to Samus.
'What do they want now? Cant they leave us in peace for a while?' Zelda thought.
The two assistant servants went around the room lighting torches and candles, brightening the room.
"It's late your Highness, and we've come to prepare you for bed," said Mireille.
Zelda looked at Samus very annoyed. "I can dress myself, thank you..." She managed to hide any irritation in her voice, though.
"Well alright your Highness, as you wish. Gaebora did say to make sure Miss Samus gets to bed as well... in the guest room... He was very specific."
"We're not finished with our game; we're going to stay up later," said Zelda.
"Oh well... Gaebora said--"
"Well then we just won't tell Gaebora now will we?" Zelda said in an irritated voice.
At that, Samus gave her a glancing look.
"I know... I'll confront him about it later. I don't want to involve Mireille in my battle, though," Zelda whispered between them.
"Oh my, my, staying up all night. You know what your mother would say," Mireille chimed in over Zelda's whispering.
"Yes, yes, 'Proper sleep habits are essential to acceptable decorum for a young lady', I know all the sayings; I'm not my mother, though."
"Well if you don't mind me saying so Princess, you are wrong on both accounts. When she first started living here, your mother would always bend the rules of proper etiquette; she liked to stay up late, too."
"She did?" Zelda look curiously at Mireille.
"You are very much like her; she always hated being pampered, too, probably more than you do."
"I- I never knew that... And I never knew you noticed, you never said anything before."
"Well you've never made a fuss about it until recently, but I could always tell it bothered you. I suppose Miss Samus has a positive influence on you."
Zelda was a little stunned by that statement. "Well- well yes, I suppose so." Did Mireille actually think it positive that she was being more defiant than usual?
"Good night your Highness," Mireille said and took her leave.
"Thank you, and goodnight Mireille."
Zelda sighed softly as she turned her attention back to the chess game, pleased with this unexpected piece of information about her late mother; they were more alike than she previously thought.
After moving her piece, she noticed Samus staring blankly ahead. At first, Zelda thought she was studying the chessboard, but then she realized she was just looking off into space, apparently lost in thought.
"Samus? It's your turn," said Zelda, attempting to gain Samus' attention.
"Oh... r-right," Samus said focusing back on the chessboard.
"You certainly got quite suddenly... You seem distracted. Is something bothering you?"
"Huh!? Uh, w-well..." Samus turned her head to the side. "Zelda... what is... what's it like to have a mother?" she asked timidly.
"Oh... Samus," Zelda said sadly as her face fell. "Are you ok?"
"I was just thinking about what that woman said before... about your mother. I... well I... never really knew mine."
Zelda looked Samus over thoughtfully before answering. "A mother is... someone who is kind, always there for you... a teacher, a nurturer, your solid base to stand on no matter how difficult things get..." Zelda's smile grew as she spoke, remembering all her mother meant to her.
"Sounds really nice... I never had that."
"Oh, weren't the Chozo--"
"No." Samus shook her head. "They... they were teachers to me, but none of that other stuff."
"Well, I'm sure your mother was all of that too. I'm sure she loved you very much," Zelda said with great sympathy.
"I can't remember... I have no clear memory of her, except... except her death."
Samus shook her head, and turned her attention back to the chessboard. Zelda studied her face quietly for a bit, looking sympathetic, and when Samus reached for the board, Zelda grabbed her hand before she could make a move.
Somewhat startled, Samus look at her questioningly. With a sad smile and a light squeeze of her hand, Zelda reassured her everything was alright. For the longest while Samus stared into her eyes, unsure of what to say. She finally exhaled heavily and squeezed Zelda's hand back, dropping her head and closing her eyes.
"Zelda..."
"Hmm?"
"Thanks," Samus whispered.
'Thanks for caring, and thanks for letting me know without making me talk about it,'was what Samus meant, and though it was unspoken, Zelda understood.
Zelda lowered her head to the bed as well and retightened her grip, Samus responded in kind. They lay that way for a while, reaching across the chessboard for each other, hand in hand, gentle comforting pressure renewed again and again.
Eventually Zelda lifted her head up and stared at Samus' hand held in hers; she caressed the back of it with her thumb. She felt for Samus to the point of almost wanting to cry. She never knew what it was like to have someone love her. It was no wonder she was having difficulty with that prospect now. She was too young to remember her family, from what she said the Chozo were cold, and she lived on her own for most of the rest of her life. It was heartbreakingly lonely.
"Samus... I..." Zelda trailed off and sighed sadly.
Samus smiled and nodded. "It's ok, really." She slid her hand out of Zelda's. "Forget it... it's nothing. Let's just keep playing," she said, quickly making her next move.
Zelda sighed. She gave Samus one last longing look. "Yeah, ok," she said, then turned her full attention back to the game in an effort to distract herself from her heavy thoughts.
As they played Samus wavered, losing more and more ground to Zelda. She had let herself get emotional and distracted, and now she was going to lose. Annoyed with herself, she attempted to focus and salvage what was left of her warrior's pride.
It wasn't too long before another servant came in interrupting them yet again. By now Zelda could no longer hide her frustration, "Damn it," she cursed under her breath. Samus was too focused on the making he next move to notice.
"I have tea for you, your Highness." The woman brought with her a tray with biscuits and a pot of tea. "Mireille thought you'd still be up, so she said to bring you..."
"Yes, yes, that's fine," Zelda grumbled annoyed at the constant intrusions.
She poured a cup for Zelda, adding cream and a single small spoon of sugar.
"Miss Samus, how do you take your tea?"
"Huh... lots of sugar..." Samus said, hardly looking up from the chess board. "... and no cream."
The woman prepared a cup for Samus as well and set the tray on the table next to the bed.
"Ah-ha!" Samus exclaimed, finally making her move.
"Goodnight, your Highness. Don't stay up too late," the maid said.
"Goodnight," Zelda huffed as the woman left the room. "Samus, could you please shut and bar the door. I'm so tired of these intrusions." She said sounding incredibly annoyed. "It's like we're a couple of kids whose parents are checking up on them," she muttered under her breath.
Samus studied her expression a few seconds before crossing the room to bar the door. As she walked back she stopped half way, standing near the bed, and stared at Zelda a while longer. Zelda sipped her tea while studying the chessboard.
"You're not happy here." She said finally, half asking, half stating an observation.
Zelda looked at her and opened her mouth to say something, then stopped herself and looked down at the floor. "What do you mean?"
"I mean it seems like everything about this place, about these people and the way they view you... It really bothers you."
"Yeah, I guess...What are you getting at?"
"It doesn't seem like... I mean...You shouldn't have to feel that way, Zelda."
Zelda tried to smile at Samus' concern but just couldn't manage it "Well... I do."
"Then... do something about it. Make a change."
Zelda let out a soft sigh "What would you have me do? ...Just leave? Abandon my responsibilities?"
"You said you wanted to."
"I said I sometimes thought about it. There's a difference."
"Would it be so bad if you did?"
"Would it be so bad if you did?" Zelda retorted.
"Huh?" Samus asked confused.
"You said you can't abandon you're responsibilities," Zelda said.
"Well..." Samus began.
"You're not happy with your life either. Why don't you make a change?"
Samus sat on the bed and stared off into space looking pensive. "Hmm... that would be... humph... Why don't we?"
"Huh? Why don't we what?"
"Why don't we both just... just make that change, just go way together? Leave everything behind, forget all our troubles, and go some place where nobody knows us. Just you and me."
"Samus... I..." Zelda was a little stunned. "Wow, that would be... wonderful. But..."
"But I could never do that, Zelda," Samus sighed.
"Yes, it's... a nice dream, but I couldn't do that either," replied Zelda.
"No, but you could! It's not the same... not the same as me." Samus said.
"How is it different?"
"You're unhappy because of your surroundings; you can change that, you can change your situation... I can't change..." Samus stopped, she hadn't planned on having a conversation like this, and she didn't like where it was heading. How did this become about her anyway?
"What?" Zelda pressed the issue. "What can't you change?"
It was too late to turn back now. "I can't change myself."
Zelda's expression softened to one of concern. "Samus..." Zelda looked at her for the longest time, seemingly figuring her out. "What do you mean? Why would you need to change?"
Samus couldn't bring her eyes to meet her. Zelda reached for her, but she stood from the bed and started pacing slowly.
"I..." Samus said weakly, then continued pacing, then again stopped and looked at Zelda, searching for her words. Her mouth moved several times without actually speaking.
"Talk to me," Zelda said with great concern in her voice.
Samus could only resist Zelda for so long before her defenses dissolved away. She didn't have the will power to keep her wall up any longer; didn't have the energy to pretend anymore; or perhaps simply didn't want to. She let down her shoulders and her head fell; she deflated significantly. With all pretenses gone, the truth came spilling out of her.
"I just... I wish I was someone else; not me. I wish I was someone... more like you."
"You- No. Samus," Zelda said sadly, shaking her head. "You're you... You shouldn't want--"
"I can't stand who I am... I can't stand this...person I am, this pathetic shell of a human being... I'm just a miserable lowlife."
"You're not!" Zelda said worriedly; how could Samus start saying these things again? "You're a wonderful person!"
Samus just lowered her head and looked away.
Zelda thought they had resolved this, but apparently Samus' problem ran deeper. "Samus, you're an amazing woman with a kind, beautiful soul. You're the one I love," Zelda said, attempting to comfort Samus.
"How can you? I'm... I'm just a... ugh. You love an idea of me... one that's not true. You don't love me... you couldn't," Samus said weakly.
Zelda was quite offended at that. "How dare you! How dare you tell me what I feel, what's in my heart, and what I know to be true!?" she said, letting her anger show in her voice.
"We've been together about a week. You hardly even know me," Samus muttered, giving Zelda a sideways glance.
"How can you say that? I know you better than anyone. I know more than you think; besides all you've told me, there's what I've seen with my own eyes. I... I know you better than you know yourself!"
"There's things you don't know," Samus replied meekly.
"Then tell me!"
Samus gave in with an exacerbated breath and sat on the side of the bed closest the door, her back to Zelda.
"I'm not someone deserving of you. I'm not... not a good person... never done a good or noble thing in my life... not for its own sake at least."
"I'm sure that's not true," Zelda timidly replied.
"Everything 'good' I've ever done... I've been paid to do; it's all been for money... some kind of personal gain."
"You and Link came to help me... no one paid you to..."
"Don't compare me to him! I'm nothing like him!" Samus seemed to react viscerally to the supposed comparison, shouting where previously her attitude was quiet, almost sad.
"I- I wasn't, I never--" Zelda stammered, surprised by Samus' outburst.
"I'm a bounty hunter, a mercenary... just a hired gun; nothing more than a thug. I'm no hero."
Zelda looked down at the floor. "You risked you life for me..."
"That was... It was... because it was you; because... you mean something to me. I didn't want to lose that, I was just thinking of myself. I wouldn't have even cared about anyone else," Samus confessed.
"Can't you just be my hero then? Can't that be enough?" Zelda said softly, placing a hand on Samus' shoulder.
"Enough for what?"
"Enough to... to satisfy you that you are good and decent."
"Tch..." Samus rolled her eyes.
"How could you think that I don't love you?" she asked cautiously.
"You don't understand..." Samus pulled her feet up off the floor and folded her legs beneath her. She stared at the chessboard, apparently thinking. "Have you ever killed anyone?"
"Uh-- n-no... Uhg..." Zelda sighed and lowered her head. Samus had, she knew that of course, but it wasn't something she had given much thought to.
"Those pirates that kidnapped you... you saw how many of them I killed."
"Well yes, but... those were just--"
"Just what? Just living, thinking, sentient beings. You think they are brainless monsters?" Samus paused, waiting for a reply that never came. "Well they're not, and I just killed them."
"But they... they would have killed us... They... they're the ones that killed your parents, and...You had to, Samus. You had to," Zelda said with a wavering voice, her spirit having been shaken.
"That's easy to say when you're not the one pulling the trigger! Of course I know I had to... That doesn't change anything... I still killed them," Samus replied.
"Samus..." Zelda sighed and hung her head, bunching the sheets up in her fingers as her fists tightly closed. An awkward silence remained for a short while before Samus spoke again.
"I'm always killing something... always... What kind of person does that? If it's not Space Pirates, it's some criminal, some bounty head that resisted capture, or just some thug who got in the way while I was going after their boss." Samus glanced up at the ceiling, with a sad look in her eye. "I've even destroyed entire planets," she said weakly.
This was heartbreaking, Zelda cursed fate for dealing Samus this lot in life; no one deserved it, especially not her. "Even a hero must kill sometimes. Link had to take lives on occasion in order to protect everyone." Zelda tried her best to sound supportive and encouraging.
"I don't protect anyone." Samus grumbled.
Zelda sighed and slid closer, tentatively taking Samus' hand, though this time she didn't respond to the gesture.
"How am I any different than the ones that destroyed my home and made me an orphan? I wonder how many orphans I've made. I've taken so many lives... I can't count..." said Samus weakly.
"Samus, you are virtuous and very caring. It says a lot that you are this upset about it all. It would be another thing entirely if killing didn't bother you. There are plenty people that wouldn't care at all, even good ones. Link never seemed bothered by it. That's why you're different... that's why... I..." Zelda stopped herself from telling Samus she loved her; she didn't think she could stand to hear Samus say that it was impossible once again.
Regardless, Zelda's logic seemed lost on Samus; she just stared at the chessboard blankly.
Zelda tried a different approach. "By combating wickedness you do protect the innocent. That's something to feel good about and be proud of, even if you receive a reward for it."
"I don't! I don't protect, I... Innocent people..." Samus trailed off and groaned uncomfortably. "People have been hurt and... and killed because of me. I'm responsible for that... it's my fault."
"But... but that's..." Zelda started to say something, but she trailed off, lost for words.
"Collateral damage... as it's called in the business: someone who was in the wrong place at the wrong time, caught in the crossfire, or used as shields and then discarded when their usefulness had worn off."
"But those were just accidents, right?" was the only thing Zelda could think to say, though she knew it just hardly sufficient.
"You think that matters!? Does it matter to the person who's dead that is was an accident!? They're still just as dead!"
"Samus, don't-- you shouldn't fault yourself..." The words felt so empty; Samus was baring herself to Zelda and expressing some very somber doubts about herself, and yet she could offer nothing but a tired cliché.
Samus turn her head slightly away, pausing for a long while; she had a far off look, like she was thinking on something. "I was... chasing this bounty across the rooftops, leaping from building to building... he went to jump, and I shot and hit his leg. He fell to the street below... right on to a vehicle... it lost control... hit a woman... she had three kids with her... one of them died as well... The other two were crying... I had to go and pick my bounty up off the street. I pretended to not notice the... mess." She took a deep breath and sighed "What was it for?" Samus said turning to face Zelda.
"Huh!? Tell me! What was it for!?" Samus yelled angrily.
Now practically screaming, "What the hell was it all for!?" She smacked the chessboard violently. Had it been an actual chessboard the pieces would have been sent flying to the floor in an impressive shower. Instead the small holographic computer was sent tumbling across the bed and simply slid off the edge, hitting the floor with a small unremarkable clatter.
"Just so I could make a few god damn credits!" She continued. "They had to die so I could collect an insignificant bounty!"
Samus pinched the bridge of her nose and squinted really hard. "I have a headache..." She lay down on the bed and pulled a pillow over her face, squeezing in into the sides of her head.
"Everything I've done has been for money... and even then, I just... I only make what I need to survive."
"Well there's nothing wrong with that." Again Zelda felt bad, not bring able to offer anything more meaningful to consol her.
"My survival costs others their lives! ...My continued existence causes suffering," Samus continued.
"That's not true," Zelda whimpered, wishing she could have mustered it in a voice that sounded more convincing, but by now she was too distraught to do any better.
"Those people all died because of me... Link died because of me, you and Malon had to suffer over it because of me. There are always people dying around me. There's always death surrounding me... people always die... they die, but I live. My parents, the colonists, the Chozo, all died out, yet I remain; countless missions where someone inevitably dies... yet I always come back in one piece... Adam died because of me."
"Well maybe you should stop--" Zelda began, but Samus cut her off.
"Stop what!? Stop worrying about it? Stop being a bounty hunter? Stop being me? Maybe you should stop telling me how to think all the time; stop trying to change me," Samus replied angrily.
"Samus," Zelda sighed, exacerbated and very frustrated.
"No one could accept me like I am. That's why you try to change me, that's why... you don't love me... You only want to mold me into that vision of yours."
"No! Don't say things like that! Damn it! Ugh... It's nothing like that. It's just that... that well I only want to help you. I see you're really hurting deep down... you're sad or disheartened all the time it seems."
"Yeah, I am. That's just who I am. That's the person you fell in love with, so I suggest you get used to it... Learn to live with your mistakes." Samus turned onto her side facing away from Zelda.
Hurt and angry, Zelda clenched her fists. She was trying to be caring, only to have spite thrown back at her. "You've been attempting to change me!" she shot back in anger, though she regretted it immediately. She hung her had sadly, knowing that was the wrong approach.
"I never tried to make you into something you're not," Samus said dryly.
"But I...! uh..." Zelda sighed and looked away. "You wanted to change," Zelda said, obviously distressed.
"Yeah well... I was wrong. It's impossible, so don't bother trying." Samus was showing absolutely no sign of emotion now.
"Samus, please..." Zelda was pleading, "Don't act like this. I--"
"I said I have a headache. Just let me sleep," Samus said and pulled the pillow over her head again.
"Samus...! Don't shut me out! We need to talk about this."
Samus remained silent though. Zelda reached out an open hand towards her shoulder but stopped just short of touching her. Deciding against it, Zelda withdrew her hand and closed her fist tight. She sighed heavily and sadly, lowering her head and closing her eyes.
'Why am I so pushy? I'm always like that with her... I'll end up pushing her away eventually.'
She stood from the bed and looked down at Samus, then went and picked the holographic computer up off the floor, and finally sat back down on the edge of the bed. She inhaled deeply and let out a slow, wavering breath. Staring at the chessboard projected above the little black square held in her hand, her thoughts lingered on the friendly game and conversation. She then glanced over her shoulder back to Samus.
"What the hell just happened?" she whimpered.
End Part Fifteen