Story: Camp Pawa (chapter 5)

It was the night of the fourth day at Camp Pawa. The came was very still, sweating under the heat that had been beating down on the summer retreat, as the night had brought little if no relief from the stickiness. The mercury had rose to over one hundred degrees, and had barely dropped to the mid nineties.

Cabin five was not immune to the heat. People slept without the blankets, and still sweated through the night, tossing and turning with the uncomfortableness of the relentless humidity. The cabin felt like a very large sweatbox on this night.

Even Tracy had stopped complaining as much about CC, and now Mandy, sleeping in the nude. The self-diva styled girl was forced for the last few nights to sleep dressed only in the flimsiest underwear that she owned to try and stave off the effects of the night heat.

Half asleep, Mandy found herself tossing in her bed, trying to find a more comfortable position to lay and get away from the sticky feeling sheets. Finally finding a way that was not as uncomfortable to lay in, she knew that this way was not going to be comfortable for long. She just layed there and tried to enjoy it for as long as it would end up lasting. She was sure if she had been wearing clothes to bed, it would be worse.

The girl heard that even CC was rustling around over in her bed, understanding the restlessness this night was bringing for everyone in Camp. She just sighed, and tried to drift back off to sleep.

A hand touched Mandy’s shoulder lightly, and she turned over. CC was standing there, smirking as she was shrouded in the darkness..

" Wanna go out for a smoke?" CC whispered.

" What time is it?" Mandy asked back very softly.

" It’s just past one right now..." She said. " I finally came to the conclusion that I can’t sleep."

" Too hot?" Mandy asked.

" Even sleepin’ naked, I cant get comfortable." CC said, sighing as sweat rolled down her face. " Maybe going out might help. So... want to go for that smoke?

Mandy nodded and sat up, she was up for trying anything at this point. She thought that a late night smoke might help her fall asleep after giving her body a chance to realize that it was actually tired. It was worth a shot, she told herself.

Grabbing her nightshirt she had layed out at the end of the bed in case of a bathroom emergency, she popped it on and readied herself to accompany the Goth girl for that smoke. CC had donned a shirt of her own. It was a very long one tee with three very big tarantula spiders viciously attacking a lady on the front, with a pool of bright red blood spattering everywhere..

The shorter girl looked at CC, and noticed how the long garment seemed to really clung to the tall goth girl’s lean body as she moved, and the sight of the curves and sways she saw made her sweat even harder. Even with just a shirt on, Mandy eyes took in all of the long legged beauty, and that made her feel a little uneasy as she realized just what it was that she was doing.

The two snuck out of the cabin, and hurried off a short distance away, knowing of a large clump of trees set behind the bathroom cabin was a perfect place to have their smoke. They had discovered the place, after nearly getting caught smoking on the second night. Since then, it’s been almost like a ‘clubhouse’ without walls for them, going there between camp activities to light up a smoke before hurrying off to the next thing..

CC sat herself on a low limb of a tree, seemingly wanting to relish the smoke she held. Mandy leaned up against the trunk of the same tree, also planning to enjoy the cigarette. With it being so hot, it was weird that there were not very many mosquitos out and about, but neither girl was going to start complain about that. Mandy thought that it just might be way too hot even for those flying beggars to be out on a night such as it was.

Mandy felt a little exposed as she stood there. She thought of that fact that she was standing outside and quite a’ways away from the cabin clad only in her nightshirt, without even having a pair pf underwear on underneath. It may have felt like that, but it also did feel so comfortable against the heat. It was not very cooling though, but it did help with the feeling of stickiness that the air was so heavy with.

When Mandy looked over at the girl who was perched on the large branch, she found that she could see right up the hem of the CC’s shirt. She wanted to avert her eyes from what she was secretly spying, but she was finding herself unable to look away. So in tranced by what she was seeing, her eyes firmly set themselves squarely on the girl’s little peeking treasure.

The small girl could see CC’s private area so clearly, even under the light of the full moon overhead. She marveled at how pink and smooth it’s shaven surface was, her eyes slowly were drawn to rest longingly at the little flower that was visible. She felt so drawn to it’s simple and delicate beauty, feeling a strong urge that she wanted to lean over and touch it, to have a chance to see it’s wonder up close and to revel in it. The sleek legs that were on either side also had the same effect, as well as when she looked up at CC’s face had done. Even when she was so entranced by what she saw, she was feeling afraid at what it was making her feel like all through her body.

Swallowing hard, she turned her head away, so confused with why she was feeling so excited at seeing the girl’s body like this. One of the things that she could explain it with was... she was acting like a Lesbian, a girl who was sexually and emotionally attracted to other girls. She shuttered with the thought, but all of these things seemed to be flying around her head in a dance of amazing colors. The question she kept hearing was: Was she acting like a lesbian?

Besides the often bad connotations she had heard about it throughout her life, she now found herself faced wondering if she was one of them. Feeling so attracted to the girl ever since seeing the goth girl on the bus on the way out to camp, that thought had come up often- but not in this clear of a light.

This question was now out of hiding again, and had a name to tag it with. She felt uneasy about finding an answer to it. She knew that an answer that might be already in her, and she was nervous about that.

Not knowing what else to do, she took a long drag of her smoke with her nervousness building in herself, hoping that whatever this was that was making her think this way, would just slip away somehow. The smoke helped her feel a little more calmer as she took a few drags in succession, but it was not even close to getting rid of the overwhelming attraction she was still feeling when she was around the pretty gothic girl.

Almost finished with her own smoke, CC looked over at the smaller girl. The girl in the black tee seemed to look at Mandy for a moment, her eyes seemingly tracing up and down the small body of her friend for a moment or two. The girl let out a little sigh, then leaned in more towards Mandy.

" Could I ... talk to you here?" She asked, after a spit second of thought..

" Sure..." Mandy said, glad that the girl was going to talk, and help her mind shift away for awhile.

CC fiddled with the cigarette pack she held in one hand, and seemed to pull something out of it from behind the foil. Sighing, she looked up at the girl that was with her, there was a little bit of apprehension in her face.

" You know a few days ago... when I was really feeling down because of my break up I told you about" She said.

" Yeah..." Mandy said.

" Well... I want to continue that..." She said with a air of finality.

Hopping off the limb, flashing her legs until the material of her shirt settled, CC looked at the girl.. She moved closer to Mandy’s side.

" You have been almost a instant friend to me from the moment we met face to face... and when I said I did not want to talk about it...well, that part was true, it was so overwhelming, but...." She said, pausing. " There was another reason, a hidden one, was why I did not want to continue also. The reason I stopped was because I did not want to reveal something to you.."

" Not tell me something?" Mandy said, looking right into the girl’s face.

" Yeah... I did not know how you would take somethin’." She said with a lowered tone.

" You can tell me anything..." Said Mandy, smiling at the girl. " Whatever it is.. I will listen... Guess that is just me...""

" I know that now..." Said CC with a giggle of understanding, her make-up less face showing a little smile in the moonlight. " That is why I wanted to clear this up now..."

The gothic girl handed Mandy what she had pulled out of her pack, and took a long breath. She seemed a little apprehensive about doing it though.

" Here, look at this..." CC said with a waver in her voice. " This will help, as I explain a few things..."

Mandy took whatever it was, and looked at it closely. The object turned out to be a small photograph that she had been handed. In the moonlight streaming down from overhead, she was able to make out the images that were on its shiny paper rather well. She gasped, as the image told one hell of a story all by itself.

The picture was of CC, and a pretty gothed out girl in front of what appears to be a very large merry-go-round. The two were holding hands in front of their chests, the noticeably shorter girl with long dark poker straight locks was kissing CC on the cheek with a softness that jumped from the picture. Mandy noticed that CC was smiling like she never had seen the girl before do. The whole thing was so surreal, yet something in her was touched.

" Her name was Melissa Cale, nicknamed Raven by out friends." CC said. " That is who I was with, and together with, for over a year."

" Your girlfriend?" Said Mandy, shocked with the information.

The goth girl nodded in answer to the smaller girl’s surprise.

" She was the first one I had..." Informed CC, with a deepened sigh. " We broke up because I was not ready to go to the next level... having sex, yet. She was though, and did not understand why I did not." CC’s face turned blank, as she continued. " She turned around only two weeks after that picture was taken, and cheated on me with another girl who was more than ready and willing to have sex." The girl shook her head a little, the pain evident on her face. " I found out the hard way when I walked into her room and found her naked with this other girl... and as I was backing out, she looked over the girl’s back, and gave me this very smug type of smile. She knew that I was right there."

" What did you do?" Mandy got out.

" I ran home and hid for a week..." She said. " I was crushed, but now I am trying to put that all behind me."

Mandy felt herself trembling a little, as this information was a big shock. She handed the picture back to CC and took the last drag from her smoke, trying to calm her body down. CC just lowered her head, her face sowing the pain that brought her.

" That is why I was sad..." She said softly . " That was why I never continued to tell you... I was afraid to tell you that I was lesbian."

Mandy paused, getting herself collected a little.

" If you were not ready... you were not..." Was her statement. " I can see that..."

" That is what I said..." CC said, also throwing away her butt. " But it still hurts like hell. That was why my mom signed me up for coming here... she wanted me to get out of my ’funk’ as she put it... and thought a month of being at camp this summer would end up helping me."

Mandy nodded to let CC know she had been listening, but her mind was swimming with things. Her own feelings towards CC, the fact that CC was a lesbian all were the topics that crowded her mind. She could not stop any of it, as al of this seemed to inundate her. Mandy did not know what to do, what to say or anything. She knew that she could not say any of this stuff that was in her head to CC, for how could she because she was not sure of anything. She decided that she would just go along with things as they were, and hoped to stop it as soon as possible.

CC was a friend... and that was how it was going to stay. The fact that she had only known her for a little while was irrelevant... That was how far she had to go. She knew that much, but it was her own heart that was aching with that part of her decision, as it was like she was not telling the truth to CC, and Mandy hated lying or being lied too. Sadly, she saw no other way until she could figure her own self out..

The two girl’s ended up having a second smoke together under the moon, eventually talking more about nothing in particularly, seemingly turning to getting to know each other even better. They both seemed to be getting relaxed with one another

The two girls soon decided that they should return to their beds in the cabin, while hoping that the relentless weight of heat would allow them to finally get some sleep as it climbed deeper into the night. They entered as silently as they had left, keeping themselves from getting the giggles with a monumental effort

CC seemed to be feeling quite relived about telling Mandy, her whole demeanor had changed to a state of relaxed and calm. When the girl had climbed back into bed, it only took a short space of just a few minutes of settling in, before the goth girl had slipped away into a fitful sleep.

Mandy on the other hand, had slipped herself into bed but still could not get herself to sleep. She layed in her bed for long time, her mind was way too busy for allowing her a chance to meet the sandman. She just layed there in the heated stillness and was trying to figure all of these things that jumbled her mind so.

The fact that CC was a lesbian really was not a problem to Mandy in the first place... it was ending up on her own questions directed to her own sexuality that was creating this firestorm of thoughts. She thought through just how she was so inexplicably attracted to the pretty girl. It seemed that she was attracted to CC in more than one way.. which she sort of understood already, the question posed to herself was a clear cut one... was this interest.. this attraction, a sign that she might be a lesbian?

Was she or wasn’t she? That was the single most questing that seemed to dominate her mind. Laying there, she found that just thinking about CC even a little, made her heart feel a little lighter, her mood lifting as she pictured the smile CC had... was this the sign that points to an answer? She found her self fighting that battle over and over again as she layed there, fighting with her own self, and years of what she had heard on girl meeting girl things..

The long haired girl finally did drift off to sleep, exhausted with mulling everything over and over again.. All that she really knew when she fell asleep, was she extremely confused, but she did feel something for the beautiful girl that clad herself in black. That was about the extent that she could get to.