Part Five
Giles's room was covered in books, some were open some were closed, but when we arrived all were forgotten and I was herded into a corner while he and Willow huddled in a corner on the opposite side of the room. Once again I was given the distinct impression that they were talking about me. Truthfully I was getting tired with all the secrecy, I mean it was my life that they were talking about, plotting about and I had a right to be involved in it.
"Alright, STOP!" I demanded walking over to them.
"Pardon me?" Giles asked looking over at me.
"I said STOP," I told him not backing down. "As in stop talking about me like I'm not in the room. As in cease and desist with protecting me from god knows what," I continued.
"Buffy…" Giles started to say, but I interrupted him.
"No, don't Buffy me. Something is obviously going on, something has been going on from the moment I woke up in that cave. There's the first clue…a cave, I woke up in a cave for christsake!" I said, my voice was rising and I didn't care. "You people are suppose to be my friends, but all you've been doing since you found me is having little powwows and I gotta tell you it's not helping with the anxiety factor which is already unsurprisingly high in cases of amnesia. For all I know you could be getting ready to ship me off to Vietnam as a mail order bride. So here's the deal…you give me the real deal, or I'm out of here," I concluded looking him in the eye.
"Where would you go?" Willow asked taking a step towards me.
"Anywhere, somewhere, at least it would be up to me," I answered. "I don't WANT to go anywhere, but I don't want to be left out of the club house anymore. I won't be." Willow looked over at Giles questioning and he took of his glasses and rubbed his forehead before sighing, and nodding to her.
"You'll want to sit down for this," Giles said taking a seat on the edge of the bed. I pulled a chair over from the desk and sat down as he instructed. Willow took a seat next to him. "We haven't meant to insult you with our secrecy, we simply felt that it would be in your best interest if we eased you in. You may have sensed this, or may not have, but your life…our lives are not ordinary," Giles continued once we were all seated. "There is so much more to the world than people are aware of, and underbelly they are ignorant to, and we are a part of that other world."
"We're drug dealers?" I asked alarmed.
"No," Willow answered quickly. "We most certainly are not."
"Pimps?" I asked next. It seemed like a logical progression.
"What have you been telling her?" Giles asked accusingly turning to face Willow.
"Nothing," Willow answered quickly. "You're the one that started with that separate world, underbelly talk."
"We are not drug dealer or pimps," Giles said turning to face me again. "As fantastic as what I'm about to tell you might sound, I want to assure you right now that it is all truthful. In every generation a Slayer is born..."
"Slayer?" I asked. "Like someone who kills things?"
"Yes exactly. One girl in all the world. She alone must fight the demons, and vampires…"
"And general forces of darkness," Willow added.
"Yes, and general forces of darkness," Giles said. "She is the Slayer, she is you."
"Okay," I started. "I was wrong. You don't sell drugs, you're all ON drugs," I continued standing up.
"Everything I have told is true," Giles responded calmly.
"I can't be true, it's crazy…in fact it's more than crazy, it's insane. Can you hear yourself? I mean are you aware of the words that are coming out of your mouth? Vampires, demons, Slayers…hello? Come on, seriously. Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, there's a scary title. Really…" I said incredulously.
"He's telling the truth Buffy," Willow said coming over to stand by me. "I know it sounds nuts, but it's true. Nobody wants to believe it at first, but it's true. You are the Slayer, you're the best…and the world needs you. Needs you to believe," she said taking my hand. I looked over at her after a minute, looked into her eyes. I had known her for less than a day, but already I knew that her eyes never lied. In her eyes was truth, and that's exactly what I saw when I looked in them then. The truth.
"You're serious aren't you?" I asked though I already knew the answer.
"You know it's true," Willow said. "I can see it in your eyes. It's how you broke that ketchup bottle, and how you beat up that man. You are built to battle demons," Willow answered still holding my hand. "And we are here to help you."
"Oh god," I said stepping away from her and moving over to the window. I rested my head against the glass and just looked out it. I could see the ocean. The waters were rough, troubled, just like me. I didn't want to believe what they were saying, it was too fantastic. I could walk out of the room right now, tell them I didn't believe and nobody could have blamed me. Nobody could have blamed me for not believing them when they told me that I was some Superchick destined to save the world. But I wouldn't walk out of the room, I couldn't walk out of the room. Because I knew. I knew that they weren't lying, I knew that despite how insane it all sounded it was true. I could feel it, in my blood, in my marrow, in my heart. I could feel it, I knew it, I knew it all along.
"So now what?" I asked finally turning around.
"Now…you train," Giles responded.
"Train?" I asked.
"Tomorrow you'll start training with Lia. Even without your memory you are still the best Slayer that we have. You've always been very instinctive, you've always had your own way. I never had much to teach you that way," Giles answered. "I would rather you not have to do this, but there is a powerful demon on this Island, the same one that took your memory, and it must be stopped. You must stop it, it's…"
"My destiny," I responded smirking a little. I didn't know why but the answer seemed so familiar. I saw Willow smile too and I knew it must have been something I used to say. "Question," I said a moment later. "Before you said that the Slayer was one girl in all the world, but just now you said that I was the best Slayer you've got even sans memory which means that there are lesser Slayers out there. But if a Slayers one girl, then how can there be others?"
"A Slayer becomes a real Slayer when they are called into duty, but there are other girls who are being trained so that when they are called they will be ready. Most of the girls in this colony at the moment are Slayers in training," Giles responded.
"Lia?"
"Lia is the next in line, yes," he answered.
"So how does one move on up in this line?" I asked.
"When one Slayer dies the next is called," Giles answered.
"Oh," I said. "So right now there's only one real Slayer, that's me?"
"Actually there…." Willow started to say.
"Willow," Giles said quickly cutting her off.
"Hey, don't shush her," I said jumping to her defense. "I want to hear what she was going to say."
"Once a couple of years ago you were…well you were…see you kind of…you sort of died, and another Slayer was called in," Willow responded.
"I sort of what?" I asked. Could this conversation have gotten any weirder?
"You were drowned…but we got your heart started again," she responded.
"That's nice to know," I muttered. "So where's this other Slayer?"
"She's in a coma," Willow answered looking down at the ground. Apparently the other Slayer was a sore spot.
"Demon?" I asked.
"No," was the only response. I waited for a second expecting more, but no more came so I moved on.
"So tomorrow I train?" I asked Giles.
"Yes, we need to ascertain exactly what level you are at. We're not going after the demon unless I'm absolutely certain that you can handle it," he answered.
"Alright then, tomorrow," I said heading for the door. I waited until Willow joined me then I opened the door and we headed out.
Later, once we were back in my room and passed out on the bed I looked over at Willow who was staring at the ceiling.
"So this is really real?" I asked still kind of dazed.
"Yep," she answered looking over at me.
"And I'm good?" I asked looking her straight in the eyes.
"The best," she answered with absolute certainty. Our gazes held after she finished speaking, and as we looked at each other time seemed to slow. I couldn't actually remember watching a movie, but it was like we were in a movie and it was moving in slow motion. Something passed between us in that time, something special. Nothing that I could put a name to, maybe something that didn't have a name to put to it, but it was something special I knew that.
I didn't know why exactly but I trusted this girl completely. She could have told me that the sky was purple and the grass blue and I would have believed her. She could have told me that I had gills and could swim with the fishes and I would have believed her. I couldn't help but be drawn to her, I couldn't help but to trust her. It was like an elemental force. I could try to stop it sure, but I would have failed, and truthfully I didn't want to stop it. When I was around her my emotions were all over the place, like a compass gone mad, but I craved it. I craved that fluttering excitement that I got in my stomach every time she was near, and I craved that safe protected feeling that blanketed me when she was around. Simply put, I craved her.
Shortly after that Willow headed to her room to go to sleep, and continued my musings until I literally passed out.
Warm, wet lips, kissing my mouth, smiling as I moan. Moving down, kissing my jaw, kissing, licking, sucking, my neck playfully as they move down. A warm tongue licking my shoulder, nipping at it as a hand moves to my breast, squeezing, teasing gently. I arch into the touch begging for more, needing more. The other hand moved down, caressing the insides of my thighs, lightly brushing the skin. Tormenting and exciting the hand was. A warm mouth descended upon my nipple sucking, licking, loving. The hand between my legs moves upwards, closer, yes almost there…yesssssssss, moving, pumping…
"Willowwwww!" I screamed as my hips jumped off the bed.
My eyes popped open at that exclamation and I sat up. My heart was racing, my body covered in sweat, and my hand…between my legs. I sighed and let my head fall back onto the pillows, hoping to god that I didn't scream out for real. Willow. I could still hear the name ringing in my ears. As I stared at the ceiling I was beginning to realize that that name was starting to encompass my world. I craved her, in more ways than one.
* * * * * *
"Remember, don't think…feel," Lia said as we stepped away from each other and entered a ready position. That suggestion was alright by me, the last thing I needed to do was think considering what direction my thoughts had been going in.
I managed to block a few easy punches before I ended up on my back on the floor. I stood back up and we fought again with the same result. This continued for a while longer until finally Giles stood up and put a halt to it. He instructed me to go take a seat then started to talk to Lia.
"It's not the amnesia, it's her. The skills are still there, I can see them, she should be kicking my ass. It's something else entirely," I heard Lia say before I sat down next to Willow.
"I'm filling the room up with suck," I muttered brushing some hair out of my face.
"If it makes you feel better, even in this lesser state of Buffness you could still kick my ass," Xander offered.
"Xander, my four year old cousin beat you up," Willow said turning to face him.
"I still say that kid was seven maybe even ten years old," Xander said defensively. "And he went for shins which way, way below the belt no matter what grade you're in," he continued. Willow just smirked and turned back to face me.
"Don't worry I'm sure you just have to warm up," Willow said resting a hand on my thigh. "Once you're warm you'll be kicking ass again. Buffy the ass kicker we'll call you…well we won't call you that, but that's what you'll be doing," she continued squeezing. I looked up at her and felt my heart constrict.
"You think?" I asked.
"I know," she answered smiling. I smiled back then looked over to the side to see Lia staring at me. Actually it was like she was staring through me. A second later she turned back around and said something to Giles. They argued for a moment then Lia took her position again and Giles came back over to us.
"Let's try it again," he said to me. "Just concentrate on what you're doing, be in the moment," he continued. I nodded then stood up and headed over to where Lia was.
"What'd you say to him?" I asked her.
"Nothing of consequence. He disagreed with my interpretation of the text," she answered with a shrug. "Shall we?"
The results that time, and the next few times we fought were the same as before-me on my ass. Finally Lia looked over at Giles.
"Come on Giles," she implored. "If I'm wrong what harm could it do?" He nodded then turned to Willow and spoke to her for a moment. She glanced at me then turned her attention back to Giles and nodded. She then got up and headed across the room, only stopping to wish me good luck, then she was out the doors. Xander said spoke briefly to Giles then he headed out after Willow who looked distraught. I started to head out after her too, but Lia restrained me.
"Your place is here," she said in response to the look I shot her.
"What the hell did you tell him to say to them?" I asked her menacingly.
"The truth," she said simply.
"Which is?"
"The truth is, that right now I could beat you standing on one leg while reciting Shakespeare. The truth is, that there are white belts out there that wouldn't fight you because it would be unfair. The truth is, that you are not fighting like a Slayer, you're not even fighting like a fairly competent sissy," Lia said looking down at me both literally and figuratively. "In a few days we have to go up against a demon that beat BOTH of us not to long ago, and you can't seem to keep your ass of the ground. You want to know why I told him to get rid of them?" she asked her eyes boring into mine.
"I know you're going to tell me," I said with barely controlled rage.
"So that when they follow you blindly back into that demons lair they won't know it's a suicide mission. I've known your friends long enough to realize that they'll follow you in there no matter what, they're loyal that way…like dogs, nothing's going to stop them. So I figured it was best for them to go in there thinking that there was the possibility of victory instead of knowing that with you fighting like crap we're all going to die, or be mind fucked," Lia explained calmly. "But I think they already know what the deal is, Willow sure did. They've seen more action than I have and they know what it takes to win, because you used to be it, now you're shit and they know it. I just hope that Xander can…'comfort' Willow enough…" I don't know why exactly, but when she said that last sentence I snapped. The anger I had been holding onto since she opened her mouth for the first time ten minutes ago rushed out. She would not talk about Willow that way, I would not stand for it. The things she had said before about my being crap angered me, but this latest insinuation in her barrage of insults infuriated me.
I charged her. Before that moment I didn't know it was possible for someone to move so fast. I wasn't thinking, I was just feeling, reacting, and I was winning, I could feel it, I could sense it. Then she was down on the ground, and I was above her looking down. Looking down at her.
"Behold the eighth wonder of the world," she said smiling. I stepped back from her confused. "I knew it," she continued. "Didn't I tell you," she said looking over at Giles. "All she lacked was motivation."
"You planned that," I said tempted to go over there and kick her again.
"It was the only way," Lia responded looking at the ground. "You should have been whipping me. I should have been putting up a fight, a good one, one that would win against anyone but you, but you should have been beating me. But you weren't, you weren't even coming close. So, I told him, I told him that you weren't because of one of two reasons. Either you were distracted, or you just didn't care. So I got rid of the distractions, and made you care," Lia finished finally looking up.
"That stuff about Xander and Willow?" I asked. It was important that I know.
"Pure fabrication," she responded. "No doubt they care for each other, but Willow's heart lies elsewhere."
"With who?" I asked darkly. My tone even surprised me.
"No one," Lia answered smiling a bit.
"But you said…"
"I said elsewhere, as in not with Xander. It doesn't mean someone else has it, just that he doesn't. You dig?" she asked.
"Yeah," I responded. "Her heart lies someplace that is else."
* * * * * *
I spotted Lia walking across the patio with Lyndon and hurried over to her. She had left about ten minutes before I got out of my meeting with Giles and I wanted to talk to her.
"Hey," I called falling into stop beside them.
"Hey," Lia greeted.
"Can I talk to you for a minute…in private?" I asked.
"I'll just be going now," Lyndon said taking the hint. "I don't really have any place to go but…" he said then started off in the other direction.
"Listen, if this is about the stuff I said earlier, I'm sorry. I know that I was down right mean, and not only did I step over certain lines but jumped on them before making my way across, but I really was just trying to help," she said as we made our way over to a table.
"That's totally yester…forget about it," I said waving it off. I had been quite pissed at the time but I understood what she was doing, and why she doing it.
"That's a relief. I don't really want you pissed off at me," she said rubbing her arm. After that little bit of theatrics, things had gone the way they were suppose to and she was the one on the ground most of the time.
"Can I talk to you…about something important. I mean, will it stay between us?" I asked her looking around the patio area.
"I realize I probably haven't made the best impression, but I promise you that anything you say will remain confidential. I'm much like a lawyer that way…well that and I'm a terrific liar," she responded.
"Okay, good," I said meeting her gaze finally. "Well, it's about me. Well me before I lost my memory," I said.
"Okay, but like I said before, I had only known you for a few days before that," Lia responded.
"Yeah, I know. That's okay, I mean this thing I want to ask you about would be kind of obvious," I said wondering if this was a mistake. "Besides the reason I want to ask you is because you don't know me as well as they do, and I think that you'll give me straight answers when they won't."
"I'll listen, but if I feel that a question is out of my sphere of knowledge, I won't answer it," she said seriously.
"Okay, that's fair," I agreed, then paused momentarily. "Um…do I bat for the home team?" I asked.
"Well, if you are playing at your home diamond I believe you would bat for the home team. But if you were the visitors then that's the team you would bat for, because they would be your team. That makes sense cause it would switch depending on who's diamond you were at. Sorry if that's not much help, but I'm not really a connoisseur of the baseball," she responded.
"No, that's not what I meant. I mean…well…I think I'm kind of gay," I said.
"Oh that. Sorry, I wasn't expecting to have to play 'Guess this Analogy'," she responded. "Why do think I would know?"
"Well, I just figured that…well you know you're good looking and everything and I figured that if I was I might have…you know…like made a pass at you or something," I said while mentally kicking myself in the ass. That was lame, that was very lame.
"Sadly no pass was made…by you at least," she added with what could only be described as a rakish grin.
"Does that mean you are?" I asked.
"I'm ambi-sexual, let's leave it at that," she said. "Back to you…"
"Well, am I?" I asked.
"Can't you tell?" she asked looking over at me. I just stared at her. "Okay, a straight-and I hope you see the irony in my choice of words-answer. To my knowledge you do in fact hit for the home team."
"Okayyyy," I said drawing the word out. "Was I hitting with anyone?" I asked, those images of Willow and I playing out in my mind again.
"Not in my sphere," Lia responded. "Alter your query."
"I keep having these flashes, where I see Willow and myself, and we are in situations that are decidedly more than friendly. We're…"
"G-rated show here," Lia said putting up her hand. "This is really something you should discuss with Willow. I'll tell you this though, if I know that you like girls, then they know too and have accepted it. From what I saw it was clear that you cared for Willow very much, and that she cared for you just as much as you did for her. As for what exactly that caring detailed, you'll have to ask her."
"But I can't," I said.
"Why not?"
"I can't just go up to her and ask how her day went, then smoothly work a question about whether or not we were lovers into the conversation. If we weren't it could make her very uncomfortable around me, and I don't want that," I explained.
"So you want me to make it easier. Well, I can't do that, it's not right. If you want to know you have to ask her, or wait and see if something happens, but you're not going to get it out of me, or Giles, or Xander, or Lyndon…if he knows what's best for him. This is your life now, time to start making the tough calls," Lia answered. Despite her absolute refusal to help me she actually looked sympathetic to what I was going through. "You probably need some time to think, and I need to go baby-sit my brother, so I'm going to be going now. Before I do, I'll tell this…follow your heart Buffy. Trust your instincts, we're Slayers, they never lie," then with that she headed back in the direction of the main compound.
* * * * * *
I remained out there for what had to have been hours, just staring out at the ocean, thinking and trying not to think alternately. Should I risk it? Should I risk telling my best friend, the only person I had any real connection with since waking up that I was in love with her? Did I even know how it was possible to fall in love in a matter of days? Lia was right though, whether I decided to tell her or not to tell her it had to be my decision, based on my life and feelings now.
Finally the stiffness in my shoulders started to bug me, I decided to head back to the room and lay down for a while. I wasn't making any sense anymore anyway. The decision whether or not to tell Willow probably wouldn't have been made sitting outside on a patio anyway, I wasn't like that. If I told her it wouldn't be planned, it wouldn't be something that I orchestrated, it would just happen. I would look at her, or she would look at me and I wouldn't be able to hold it in any longer, and afterwards what would be would be. I just hoped that my heart would be intact after I followed it.
Kicking off my shoes I flopped down onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. I had been doing quite a bit of that, and I wondered if it was something I always used to do, or if it was a new adaptation of this life I was living now. After a few minutes I heard footsteps coming towards me and knew that it was Willow making her way into my room from hers.
"Buffy?" she asked tentatively.
"That's my name," I said lazily not moving.
"Are you okay?" she asked taking a seat on the edge of the bed. I looked up at her and shook my head.
"No," I responded. "I hurt…hurt covers me," I continued rubbing my shoulders.
"Your shoulders always get tense when you're stressed out," Willow said looking down at me.
"Well, how did I fix it before? Cause I want some now," I said meeting her eyes. She was looking at me oddly and I wondered what she was thinking.
"I could…I could massage them for you," she said still looking down at me. "It worked before." I watched her debating the wisdom of letting her touch me like that considering the direction my feeling for her were heading in. The smart thing to do would be to politely turn down the offer, to tell her that I was just tired and needed some rest then send her on her way thus keeping our friendship intact and my feelings hidden. That would have been the smart thing to do which is probably why I ended up doing the exact opposite.
"Okay," is what I said. That wasn't what I had meant to say, but there it was and I wasn't going to take it back.
"Turn over, onto your stomach," she requested. I did as she asked and soon deceptively strong hands started stroking my back, working out the kinks. I started to feel the effects immediately and had to forcefully contain a moan that wanted to make it's presence known. "How's that?" she asked a moment later. "Heaven on earth," I responded unable to stop the cheesy reply. I heard her make a noise in her throat and I instinctively knew that she was smiling.
"I need to get better access," she said a few minutes later, and I felt her hands drift to my waist where they rested.
"Go ahead," I told her. My lips and my brain didn't seem to be communicating efficiently at the moment, because that response and others I had made since she came in the room were not at all what I had been thinking.
I felt her start to pull the shirt up, her hands running along my side as she did. Putting my arms out in front of me I allowed her to remove the shirt completely. After that she tried to resume her motions but my bra kept getting in the way of her motions.
"That, ah, usually goes too," she said resting her hand over the clasp. Before answering I wondered if all best friends gave each other topless massages. Somehow I doubted it, and that feeling that we had been more than friends seemed to be plausible all of a sudden, very plausible actually.
"Well then, by all means," I responded. "Take it off." She didn't verbally reply, she just started the removal process. I was unnaturally aware of her hands as they undid each clasp and then slid around to pull the garment off. I was even more aware of the way her hands brushed against my breasts as she pulled the bra off. Once it was off I laid my stomach flat against the bed again resting my head on my arms, then she started her movements once more.
I could feel her weight on me as she straddled me hips. Could feel the heat radiating off of her body, could feel her bare legs brushing against my naked sides. I could feel her hands caressing my skin, and I realized suddenly that they were caressing. Sometime during my musings she had gone from massaging my back to caressing it. She was moving her hands up and down my sides, stroking them. I realized that this massage was having as much of an effect on her as it was on me. That's when I felt it, warm lips pressed to my shoulder blade, placing butterfly kisses on my back.
"Willow…" I whispered huskily, and she stopped. The moment the last syllable of her name was out of my mouth she stopped. More accurately she froze.
"I'm sorry," she whispered starting to move off of me. It was just like I had thought, unlike me she wasn't aware of what she had been doing. It had been an automatic for her, completely natural.
"No," I said turning around quickly and grabbing her hand. We were now lying side by side facing each other. "It's okay…I promise," I added when she still looked worried.
"I shouldn't have…you're…" she started but trailed off. She was avoiding my gaze, looking at the wall behind me, but I desperately needed to see what was in those eyes. I needed to know what she was feeling.
"Willow," I said gently still holding her hand. "It's okay," I continued bringing her hand to my lips and kissing the palm, then each finger tip. "Please, don't ever apologize for that."
"Buffy," she said finally meeting my eyes. What I saw there almost broke my heart. There was pain, arousal, confusion, longing, loneliness, love. In that look I had the answers to all of my most pressing questions. We had been lovers, but we had been more than that. We had been in love. I didn't know what to say to make her understand that I understood, I didn't know what to say to make her understand that while my memory may have been stolen the love I felt for her never went away, never dimmed. I didn't know what to say to make her see that I still loved her, that I still needed her, that she was still my world, so I did the only thing I could. I leaned forward and I kissed her. Slowly, gently, I kissed her. "Buffy," she said again when I pulled back.
"I love you," I said simply. I was no poet, those were the only words I had to express what I was feeling, and they did so wonderfully. For whether I said it in a thousand words, or three, it came down to that. "I don't know what my address is, I don't even know when my birthday is, but I know that I love you." She looked at me for a moment, then the tears started to fall and I reached out for her. "Don't cry," I said.
"I've missed you so much," she said tightening the hold she had around my waist. "I…"
"I know," I said her stroking her hair, and as unbelievable as it sounded I did know.
She released me then, and brought our lips together. This kiss was firmer, more confident, more passionate than before, and this time I moaned freely. I had almost forgotten that I was topless until I felt her hand move it's way up my side and cup my breast. I arched into the touch momentarily before I lowered her unprotesting to the sheets draping my body over hers as we continued to kiss, sweetly, passionately, our lips moving against each other in a gentle hunger. My hand had slipped under her shirt lifting it up and over her head before I moved down to kiss her neck, to nip at it gently as my right hand moved to her breast, squeezing it through the fabric, as my left moved up and down her side.
And then the next thing I knew we were naked, and my lips were covering every square inch of her body, kissing licking, biting, before raising to the top to start again. Every moan, every movement of her body was like air to me, a necessity of life. Then our lips were pressed together again and our bodies pressed so tightly together that it was hard to tell if were two people or one.
I moved by thigh between her legs and felt her start to move against me. It was a dance older than time, the steps etched into our DNA from the moment we were conceived, and I realized that I had been waiting for this, needing it since the moment I woke up. Then her hand was between us, moving down until she slipped inside of me. Then it was my turn to moan, to move against her. We moved together and away, together and away, for long moments, our motions becoming increasingly focused. Then I felt her start to tremble and I knew the dam was about to burst. She arched off of the bed a second later, her head thrown back and her body on fire as she called out my name. The past few days had been a time of rediscovery for me, and of all the things that had been re-born for me-the sun, a blooming flower, the moon-she was the most beautiful sight of all. And then I was gone too, my body reduced to a mass of quivering flesh and fiery nerve endings. In her arms my body became a conduit for pure ecstasy, and all that I could do was let her hold me as we rode out the waves together.
As our bodies began to calm I dropped my head to her shoulder and exhaled. I wasn't aware of anything but the beating of her heart, the rise and fall of her chest, and the warmth of her body. For the first time I could remember I felt completely at peace. I felt free.
Then just as I had finished processing those thoughts, a bright white light exploded behind my eyes and I felt the flood gates open. My mind was saturated with images, images moving by at a dizzying pace. I almost expected to hear an announcers voice saying "Buffy Summers this is your life". I have no idea how long these images flashed through my mind for, but I know that afterwards-when the storm had passed-that Willow was holding me tightly and stroking my hair.
"Will?" I asked my voice shaky and barely audible. My mind was still spinning.
"Buffy?" she asked in an equally unsteady voice using her hand to tilt my head up so that she could see my face.
"Yeah," I said smiling. "It's me."